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if youre here hiya

@swanofstorie

Mari ~ they/them ~ queer

voice acting as a profession is so funny because you'll see someone being like "voice actors need to be paid better! like [obscure person you've never heard of]" and you're like "oh I wonder who that person is, maybe I've heard them voice a character" and you look it up and it turns out they voice 137 characters in Futurama and 94 characters in The Simpsons and 96 characters in Adventure Time and every one of the My Little Ponies and 27 characters in Arcane and 96 characters in Kim Possible and 4 characters in Phineas and Ferb and 296 characters in Dexter's Laboratory and all of the main cast of Fairly Odd Parents and at least 6 characters in every Pixar movie and almost every animated depiction of Superman and 473 SpongeBob characters and they've been in every installment of Mass Effect and Halo and The Elder Scrolls and Fallout and Call of Duty and they were in Star Trek and Law & Order and they were 12 characters in the MCU and they also invented t-shirts and the colour green and they got paid a sum total of $3.27 and a mothball for all of it combined. then you go burn down David Zaslav's house with him inside

[DAZED FROM BLOOD LOSS] hey not to kill the vibe completely but i think i am in love with you

“it’ll pass.” well. i don’t think so, i’m afraid. Am going to pass out though

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Reblogged

Can’t even rate my students’ DnD character names because they’re all equally great.

  • Hamm
  • Stone
  • Willow
  • Deadzoxer
  • Not Big Beefy Meat Shield
  • Thomas

They got an opportunity to choose a title. Are you guys ready?

  • Thomas The Hero Adventurer
  • Deadzoer The Son of the Dead
  • Hamm The Destroyer of Food
  • Beef It’s What’s for Dinner
  • Willow The Smartest Person on the Team
  • Stone The Single Son of Stone’s Dad; And Ladies, He Is Single

some people just have no true appreciation for terrible women. oh she killed and ate people? well maybe she was hungry. "I cant defend her anymore-" well then fucking stand aside so i can talk to my client

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Today at work a man I was helping showed me his phone and said, “I’m looking for a style like this” to show me a ring he wanted but his thumb hit the screen when it was facing me and it flipped to a picture of Avengers themed butt plugs and I laughed so hard I had to lie down.

It’s funny you should say that because as he grappled with the overwhelming embarrassment of having shown a fine jewelry associate a picture of Avengers themed butt plugs I was trying to be like, “Really, it’s okay, you picked the right person here to show this too, I used to sell sex toys, I’m not offended, this is just the funniest thing to ever happen to me here.”

He did eventually come around to the hilarity side of the equation. He got a ring and a we both got a great story.

why does tumblr have reels now

why does every app need to have a tiktok feature

I dont come to tumblr for videos, I come to tumblr to see my mutuals post gay shit from things I don't even care about

wait fuck i was meant to post in character today uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh why so courious

society

Not to ruin your post immediately with an addition but Tumblr glitching out your icon is making this twice as funny

my evil self and my less evil self

i gave my sister $100 for her bday, but i gave it to her in $1 bills that i folded into origami. so that’s how she pays for delivery food & now the pizza girl thinks she’s a stripper

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just-artist-thoughts

You’re really good at origami holy sh

i learned it specifically to make these for this exact situation 

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queer-musician

Aren’t you the same bitch that gave your sister $100 dollars in nickels?

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wetmetal

Yeah, neither of these things happened 👍🏼

listen here my good hoe, i can’t find photos of the 2000 nickels or the 20 stars, but i did not spend weeks planning meticulously inconvenient birthday gifts over a period of years just to get whaled on by internet gremlins. here is some equally compelling evidence for an anecdote i was saving for later:

it weighed 68.6 lbs

Michael A Davenport, 3,090 Degrees Fahrenheit (Oil on canvas, 2025)

30in x 48in

From the artist’s Inprnt:

“3,090 degrees Fahrenheit is the temperature at which sand becomes glass, in a process known as the Pilkington Process. This is not the temperature of burning; this is the temperature of becoming something.”

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