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an unprofitable Dick

@mrdarcysdadbod / mrdarcysdadbod.tumblr.com

◇ Austen/literature sideblog of @thejgatsbykid ◇ he/him, 20s, queer, Jewish ◇
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Reblogged
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Yesterday was for the men, now the ladies:

Initiate is the key here. In this case, they are officially engaged, they just can't wait for the wedding.

Edit: I did make a post about this but it was focused on couples.

#i know marianne is winning and I agree she definitely WANTS to but I also think there's a real possibility of overcorrecting for her prior#(mis) behavior by maybe being TOO proper. I think Emma on the other hand is like 'you can't tell me what to do' and does what she wants#do I think Knightley goes along with it? debatable. depends how far they are from the wedding.
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Reblogged
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All else aside, vis a vis the cunnilingus poll, I do appreciate the general agreement that Mr. Darcy (among many other heroes but Darcy is the standout for obvious reasons) is a good and upstanding man who loves his wife deeply and immensely and that does not necessarily translate to any particular sexual proclivity or proficiency. Meanwhile that one blog that's just "does this character eat pussy" polls is always a referendum on whether people think a guy sucks as a person or not. You gotta be realistic about these things.

Anyway I think Darcy would happily go down on Elizabeth on request but I think he'd have to come to terms with not being able to kiss her while his mouth is otherwise occupied. He seems like a guy who would be bummed about not being able to kiss his wife during sex. I do think hearing her talk the whole time would bring him around on it though.

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I think Knightley eats pussy for the Opposite reason. I think his bedroom goal at all times is to fuck his wife speechless as much as possible. Can you imagine how smug he'd be? Literally commissioning a plaque for himself.

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poll in question

I appreciate the nuance, and I do think with Jane Austen's men, it's not a question of love or goodness, but of a combination of personality, knowledge, and experience. Henry Crawford isn't a good person, but he really likes the approval of women, therefore, would go down.

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100% on valuing a partner's pleasure - and at the same time that kind of speaks to my point bc "eats pussy" isn't the only axis on which that turns yk? Like if I take Henry Tilney specifically, the question of cunnilingus speaks less to his commitment to his wife's pleasure than does the fact that he DEFINITELY does weird and complex sex roleplays with her. Conversely, to your point about Henry Crawford, I agree he would go down on a woman unprompted, and I don't think that necessarily implies he's prioritizing the pleasure of his specific partner - like, all of my love for Fanny, I think it'd be pretty uncomfortable for her! I think she carries a fair amount of shame and self-consciousness that might make it kind of anxiety provoking, you know?

I think what I'm saying is like - I agree with the vibe of a shorthand for "does he care about whether his partner is enjoying herself" and at the same time it is fundamentally a shorthand that kind of flattens nuance and ascribes undue weight and value to a particular sex act, and the yes but/maybe/also cases really illuminate the point.

This got way more serious and critical than I really meant to in talking about a goofy joke poll!! Apologies if I've stepped on your toes at all. I'm just ruminating.

#long post#I'm also coming from the position of like. someone who did NOT enjoy getting eaten out for much of my sexual history.#like for my part I was dealing with dysphoria too but also just like. I was so self conscious and uncomfortable and in my head about it.#so it's not just 'not everyone likes/is good at giving oral' but also 'not everyone likes receiving oral' that makes this specific thing#something that sticks in my craw so much as like. a social trend of passing judgment. genuinely sorry! i know my issues aren't your problem
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Reblogged
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All else aside, vis a vis the cunnilingus poll, I do appreciate the general agreement that Mr. Darcy (among many other heroes but Darcy is the standout for obvious reasons) is a good and upstanding man who loves his wife deeply and immensely and that does not necessarily translate to any particular sexual proclivity or proficiency. Meanwhile that one blog that's just "does this character eat pussy" polls is always a referendum on whether people think a guy sucks as a person or not. You gotta be realistic about these things.

Anyway I think Darcy would happily go down on Elizabeth on request but I think he'd have to come to terms with not being able to kiss her while his mouth is otherwise occupied. He seems like a guy who would be bummed about not being able to kiss his wife during sex. I do think hearing her talk the whole time would bring him around on it though.

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I think Knightley eats pussy for the Opposite reason. I think his bedroom goal at all times is to fuck his wife speechless as much as possible. Can you imagine how smug he'd be? Literally commissioning a plaque for himself.

#the difference between Knightley and Darcy listening to their wives talk is that Darcy just found out about Lizzie recently so he's still in#the throes of 'tell me EVERYTHING queen' and he also Doesn't like talking as much. he's a listener.#Knightley on the other hand has known Emma since she learned to talk and he's able to comfortably and lovingly be like Shut Up Sometimes!
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All else aside, vis a vis the cunnilingus poll, I do appreciate the general agreement that Mr. Darcy (among many other heroes but Darcy is the standout for obvious reasons) is a good and upstanding man who loves his wife deeply and immensely and that does not necessarily translate to any particular sexual proclivity or proficiency. Meanwhile that one blog that's just "does this character eat pussy" polls is always a referendum on whether people think a guy sucks as a person or not. You gotta be realistic about these things.

Anyway I think Darcy would happily go down on Elizabeth on request but I think he'd have to come to terms with not being able to kiss her while his mouth is otherwise occupied. He seems like a guy who would be bummed about not being able to kiss his wife during sex. I do think hearing her talk the whole time would bring him around on it though.

#i think it's so annoying to be like 'cunnilingus is correlated to moral quality' bc that's just like. weird progressive sex shaming.
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Accidentally getting a Reputation for myself in grad school as The Jane Austen Guy and then cementing that reputation because I take all my notes in cursive longhand :(

#it's not even an affectation I just have adhd and don't trust myself to use any sort of computer during class#also Evidence Shows that writing by hand is better for remembering what you've written and that's a big factor#this conversation w my classmate did turn into me complaining about taking cursive out of elementary school curricula so there's that
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Reblogged firawren
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I promise you, the answer is not Mr. Darcy... read all the options before you vote!

Estimated Sexual Abilities of Austen Men if you need a reference

#the ONLY reason i voted crawford over tilney is the 'unprompted' part. i think tilney is having a conversation beforehand#crawford is absolutely just diving in without a word of warning but I think Tilney would want to be like. hey you know what oral sex is?#bc there's a nonzero chance he gets kneed in the skull if he surprises Catherine. after the first time unprompted though
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Reblogged firawren
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I promise you, the answer is not Mr. Darcy... read all the options before you vote!

Estimated Sexual Abilities of Austen Men if you need a reference

#the ONLY reason i voted crawford over tilney is the 'unprompted' part. i think tilney is having a conversation beforehand#crawford is absolutely just diving in without a word of warning but I think Tilney would want to be like. hey you know what oral sex is?#bc there's a nonzero chance he gets kneed in the skull if he surprises Catherine. after the first time unprompted though
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Reblogged theroseandthebeast
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Mr. Bennet: Sure, I haven't taken care of my daughters' financial security, but have I at least taken care of their education? No. But have I taken care of their emotional needs? Also no. But have I been a good protector and supervisor? I'm afraid not. However, have I been a good example for my children of being a kind and respectful spouse, parent, and all around human being? No again. But through it all, have I nailed being funny? Yes. And isn't that the most important role of a father after all?

#pride and prejudice
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