What? :- 'Gojo's step wise guide to wooing your dream girl!'
Warnings :- fluff, crack, sfw, kind of yandere!gojo (very minimal though), mentions of stalking (it’s not as dark as it seems i swear), Shoko falling off a tree (she’s okay)
“This is going to work!” Gojo insists.
Suguru rolls his eyes as Shoko looks at the PowerPoint presentation Gojo prepared with boredom. “This is not going to work.”
“You just don’t have faith in me! Just see, all these steps are completely foolproof! She’ll fall for me before even she knows it!”
Gojo shrinks under your hard glare and avoids your eyes like the plague.
He had bumped into you just as planned. The only problem was that he was trying so hard to be nonchalant that he didn’t notice the steaming cup of coffee in your hands.
“What, are you blind?! My new shirt is completely ruined!”
Gojo hesitates. This was not planned, but nonetheless the show must go on.
Onto the second part of Step 1; drop a cool one liner.
He puts in his usual smug smirk and makes sure to thread his fingers through his hair in a way he knows makes girls swoon.
“Guess I just found the hottest thing in the room, and it wasn’t that coffee you just spilled all over yourself.”
Your eyes widen as his audacity renders you speechless. Did he really just blame it all on you?!
“T-that I spilled over?! God, you really are as insufferable as Utahime said!”
You passive aggressively throw the empty cup into a bin, flip your hair hard enough that it slaps his face and storm away from him.
Reaction gauged. Fit of rage and anger.
At least you looked hot screaming at him and he got to smell your shampoo, so he’ll take it as a successful mission.
Smiling giddily, he walks away with a skip in his step to have a talk with Utahime.
After some casual looking around forcing Ichiji to find out Gojo found a bookstore that you just so happen to frequent. Wow, what a coincidence!
With his signature sunglasses stylishly propped on his nose, he fakes surprise when he see you in an aisle.
“Oh my God, is that you, Y/n? I didn’t know you were such a nerd. I also come here often, you can never have too much knowledge you know? Next Aristotle type shit, heh.”
You narrow your eyes at him. Ah, so it seems you still haven’t gotten over the coffee incident. Good thing the next part of the plan is perfect for this!
“Let me buy you a book. Or five. As a peace offering for the coffee incident. And also because I’m rich and generous and charming.”
“Charming? You ruined my shirt!”
“Exactly! That’s why I’m buying back your forgiveness in paperback form!”
And so, Gojo follows you like a lost puppy as you try to find a book.
He grabs a book that catches his eye. “This one has a dragon on it, wait no there’s a shirtless guy too, don’t buy this one.” He puts it away and grabs another one. “How about this instead? There’s three aliens fighting in space. Romance too. You’re into romance right?”
You scoff. “What makes you think I’m into reading a ‘why-choose trashy alien romance’ book?”
He continues to trail close behind you when you move into another isle. Eyes a bit bright, you pick up a Kafka book.
Gojo raises his brows from underneath his sunglasses skeptically. “Kafka? Wasn’t that guy clinically insane?”
“Gojo, shut the fuck up.”
He sighs dramatically. “Why are you so into serious books? Why don’t you read something like ‘How to Fall in Love with the Guy that Spilled Coffee on You’”?
His eyes wander to a display of bookmarks stacked in a way that would attract customers.
He snorts. “Ha, look at the way they stacked the— Ow! My finger! Papercut!”
People look as he starts to cause a scene, loudly exclaiming how he would never be able to use his hand again.
In order to save yourself from the embarrassment, you quickly grab your book and end up paying for it yourself.
Gojo catches up to you and insists to walk you home, mouth never shutting and his finger wrapped in a paper towel like some badge of glory.
You and Gojo just completed a low stakes mission in an abandoned amusement park. Or, rather, he did.
He was obviously showing off with the way he was dancing around the curse, dodging attacks like second nature. He obliterated the curse in one flashy move and dusted his jacket off like it was a chore.
His white hair is still perfectly styled and his glasses are pristine. You however, are left picking popcorn out of your hair.
Gojo turns to you, somehow glowing. “That was just a warm up, can you believe they sent their strongest and their hottest after a low grade like this? Anyways, mission’s over, do you want me to carry you bridal style for dramatic effect?”
You are very much not impressed. “Warm up? Gojo, you blew up the popcorn machine and almost hit a pigeon.”
He just winks at you. “Collateral damage in the name of looking cool is always worth it.”
A few days later, he is ready to commence the next part of Step 3.
After three days of continuous begging for help, he managed to convince Suguru and Shoko (with the promise of cigarettes) to aid him.
You are currently sitting on a bench at the park, with Gojo sitting next to you, bothering you like always.
Out of no where you hear a suspiciously tall elderly woman with an obnoxiously high pitched voice scream, “Oh no! My puppy! It’s stuck in a tree!”
Since when do dogs climb tree?
Quickly, you both approach the 'elderly woman' like the good Samaritans you are, with Gojo being the much more eager one.
"Worry not, you old hag! I'll get your dog in no time!" With that he rushes to climb the tree.
With Gojo out of the way, you finally get to have a good look at the 'elderly woman'.
The 'elderly woman' who's mop of grey hair was revealing straight black hair underneath. And who also has gauges. And who's eyes are concealed by thin oval glasses. And who is more or less 6 feet tall...
Flabbergasted, your eyes widen. "Suguru, is that you?!"
The 'elderly woman' shakes her head frantically. "Suguru? Who's that? Oh, look over there! Your boyfriend has already climbed the tree! What a brave gentleman, you must be very lucky to have him!"
Sure, enough, Gojo is at the top of the tree with the dog secured safely in his arms, waving like a madman at you.
From the corner of your eye, you see another figure up in a nearby tree, trying to get down without falling. A figure with a bob cut. A figure who looks like she uses RCT.
Gojo lands gracefully next to you, and shoves the dog in Suguru's arms.
"Being so strong and wonderful and amazing gets so tiring sometimes." He says as he casually flexes his muscles.
It takes him a moment to realize that his friends cover has been blown. "Y/n! There's this mochi shop I've been dying to try! Let's go! Right now!"
He takes your hand and starts to pull you away. "B-But weren't those Suguru and Shoko?!"
"Uh, no? Probably just a huge coincidence, don't worry about it!"
(if it isn’t obivious Shoko put the dog in the tree, that’s why she was on the tree)
Gojo and you are sitting in a booth at a 24-hour ramen shop.
The both of you have just finished a mission, your clothes still damp with sweat and hair disheveled.
Gojo slurps his ramen loudly, an obvious contrast to the soft pitter patter of the rain outside. He pretends to be deep in thought and sighs dramatically every two minutes.
“You okay? You’ve been quiet ever since we walked in,” you ask
Gojo answers gravely, still looking off into the distance. “Sometimes… I look at the rain and wonder if it’s the sky crying… or just me, perhaps.”
You sigh internally. “…You’re inside. Eating noodles, Satoru.”
“That’s what makes it metaphorical.”
“Back when I was a kid… the clan members, they…”He trails off, eyes getting misty.
You listen intently now. Sure, he made you annoyed, but you weren’t heartless. It wasn’t like you hated him. “What did they do?”
“They…” he sniffs, “they would never let me eat mochi for breakfast… it was so cruel.”
You take it back. You do hate him. “Are you serious, right now?”
“How could they deny a one-of-a-kind child like me his means to live? But it’s okay now, I can buy all the mochi I want.”
Silence ensues once more.
Suddenly, he digs through his pocket and retrieves a tiny notebook labeled “Thoughts of a Lonely Sorcerer”. He flips open a page and reads aloud, “Entry #69, am I the strongest…or just the most alone?”
You glare at him. “Satoru, I will throw that book into the broth.”
He is unfazed. “You wouldn’t destroy art.”
You deadpan. He eats a whole egg like a sad little seal.
“Sometimes, I think I joke too much… because if I stopped, I’d cry.”
“Sometimes, I think I’m going to cry. Because you never stop.”
At the end of the night, he tries to make you listen to his playlist titled “Sad Boy Infinite Void” which you end up renaming to “Cry me a Satoru.”
He stand across from you, mouth pulled into his signature smug smirk.
Cracking his knuckles, he says, “Alright, let’s spar! I’ll go easy on you since you’re so pretty.”
You roll your eyes, something you seem to do a lot when you’re around him. “Go easy on yourself. I won’t.”
With that you charge at him. But just as you’re an inch away from hitting him, he disappears, which makes your trip and fall.
You turn around to look at him behind you, hanging upside down from a tree like a bat. “Did it hurt?” he asks smugly.
You narrow your eyes at him. “Don’t you dare.”
“When you fell for me during this fight just now?”
You throw your staff at his face. He dodges.
After some pleading, you get him to seriously train with you. Halfway through, he insists you stop for a water break.
Instead of giving you the water, he holds it hostage. “Say I’m handsome and you can hydrate,” he smirks.
You forcefully rip it from his hands. “Say you’re annoying and I’ll shove this down your throat.”
He gasps. “Kinky. But fair.”
He sits down next to you as you drink.
“You know… I usually flirt with everyone… but with you, I actually mean it,” he says softly.
You are stunned for a moment. A blush climbs up you face too.
But of course since it’s Gojo Satoru, he ruins the moment almost immediately.
“Also you have something on your face. It’s my future.”
You get up and leave that instant.
He calls after you, nonetheless. “WAS THAT TOO MUCH? BE HONEST!”
a/n:- this was a lot of work. Hope you enjoyed tho! the next five steps will be in part 2, which will come out soon too!
Oh, you’re curious about my past works? Well, luckily for you, all the deliveries are neatly archived! Just head over to the Archive of Deliveries and browse through what I’ve sent out in the past. Enjoy the trip down memory lane!
