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fuckin’ love doing things out of spite

@stereopticons / stereopticons.tumblr.com

they/them | queer disaster | making tiny changes

Hello! I’m Kit (they/them)! I’m primarily a fic writer for Schitt’s Creek and RWRB, though I occasionally consider writing for other fandoms. I’m stereopticons on ao3 and you can find my Schitt’s Creek fics and drabble collections here. My RWRB fics and drabble collections here.

I am generally open to podfic, translations, etc of my fic, but I do request that you ask first!

My ask box is open, and theoretically, so are fic prompts, but full disclosure, it may take 3-5 business years for me to get to them.

Thanks for stopping by!

Why do they even make apps for ADHD. You want me to use my 24/7 handheld immediate distraction device? To manage my 'gets distracted too easily' disorder? Ooooh we developed the perfect tool for managing your anemia. Its hosted in Dracula's castle. 👍

“[kink] is bad because [thing the kink is based on] is bad” is such a funny take. we’re acting. you hate theater. you’re standing up in the audience and mansplaining to lady macbeth that killing people is wrong

it's really embarrassing how much self control i have to exert when you put me in front of a tray of convenient and tender meat like if you put meatballs in front if me the fuckers are gone in milliseconds. same true of roadted brussels sprouts or basically anything that's a nice little dense and textured morsel. i am the hors that d'ouvres

do not stand at my plate and snack. that shit's all mine. please give it back. i am the dozen hors that d'ouvre. i am the meatball's gentle curve. i am the cracker's butter crunch. i am a thousand grapes for lunch.

1 inch painting, acrylic on paper board

On This Day in Schitt's Creek: July 21

2018

Baby Talk [david/patrick, G, 1,001] by @aokayinspace

David and Patrick are stuck on an airplane with a crying baby and broach a relationship topic not crossed before.

2019

A String of Bad Luck [david/patrick, T, 9,152] by @mostlyinthemorning

Patrick is David's good luck charm until one day the luck runs out.

A Weekend Home [david/patrick, E, 4,419] by RoseApothecary

Patrick and David spend the weekend at Patrick's parent's house. Sexy times and embarrassment ensue. Seriously, it gets super embarrassing.

All the Wonderful Things That You Said [david/patrick, E, 10,679] by MadAlien

In which Patrick discovers and explores David's praise kink

it's a constant... [david/patrick, T, 1,973] by @startswithhope

It’s hard for David to accept love, to believe when someone claims to feel it in regards to himself. And Patrick, thankfully, knows this. And has told him over and over the depth of his feelings and slowly David has learned to trust, but there’s still scar tissue on his heart that sometimes aches…and makes him question. But fuck, as he’d looked around this apartment, the answers were everywhere. Patrick had made a place for him here, without having been asked.

people who claim dashes and Oxford commas are indicative of AI would lose their minds reading a LOT of classic literature because those folks used dashes like their lives depended on it

they, like me, understood that the dash is the way to preserve your blatant run-on sentence but in a sexy way

On This Day in Schitt's Creek: July 20

2019

*Bleep* Me [david/patrick, E, 2,031] by simplytheschittiest

David sets the dry dish down on the counter. He decides in that moment that if Patrick needs a reason to say ‘fuck’ then he’s going to give him one.

All the Man That I Need [david/patrick, G, 1,335] by @sullymygoodname

A few days after the housewarming party, David still has something on his mind. He and Patrick need to talk.

Don't Call Me Shirley [david/patrick, M, 959] by @whetherwoman

“Listen,” David says, carefully pulling the inflating tab on his neck pillow, “there is an art to red eye flights.”

gotta make a big impression [david/patrick, E, 1,000] by @thegrayness

David and Patrick are interrupted in the middle of several rounds of loud sex. Seems their neighbors actually try to sleep at night.

house and home [david/patrick, T, 2,677] by @dotsayers

But there were still special occasions, and special occasions warranted special meals. Like, for example, 'You came out to your parents yesterday, and it was kind of emotionally exhausting? And I kind of feel guilty about it and need to mediate my guilt by pouring orange juice into a champagne flute and burning your toast to shit just the way you like." Sadly, Hallmark didn't make cards for that.
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