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A2-5-8

@still-fatemeh

However, Chuuya knew. He knew what this was. He turned to face it. It was something he was intimately familiar with. This cylinder had been his whole world-at least, so he'd thought. A bluish darkness. A cradle to separate him from the outside world-and to protect him from it.
Fate (aka the coolest nickname I'll ever have)
  • Fatemeh (fate)
  • Middle Eastern
  • Probably half dead in a ditch somewhere
  • I write or draw sometimes (feel free to send me requests about fics, I'd be glad to receive them, but there's a chance I'll never get to posting it because of my extremely irregular schedule or maybe because of the fact that I hated the final product)
  • I'm easily swayed by poetry (I prefer poetry in my own language, so I don't know many english poets) and I love myself a good book and a quiet afternoon with a cup of hot tea with milk
  • Huge Albert camus and Dostoevsky enjoyer
Currently hyperfixated on stormbringer

@worlds-loneliest-one <= my side blog

[The credit for the pics goes to the makers]

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Chuuya is the only man alive who could go toe-to-toe with a god, crack the earth in half, and still lose a verbal fight with Dazai.

Every time he breathes, Dazai’s ghost voice whispers ‘you’re 5’3” and your blood pressure is rising.’

The man can’t win.

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//Bsd 122

There's something increadibly twisted about Dazai saying "certainly" with this much conviction, when he himself was struggling to find a reason to live in the Port Mafia.

Even worse when you remember that he'd declared his desire to watch the mafia burn in Stormbringer. Simply because he was bored of it all. Killing, death, schemes. All of it was the same. Everything became mundane.

Dazai never found any meaning in living in the Port Mafia, but here he is, promising Akutagawa the one thing he never got ahold of. Guaranteeing that Akutagawa would find it.

And the funny thing is, he did.

Dazai, in the end, did give Akutagawa a reason to live. But here's the catch: It's primarily tied to him. Not to the mafia, not to some high-end goal related to Akutagawa as a person, but to the suicidal executive.

And it makes sense, in hindsight.

Despite Dazai's visible efforts to make Akutagawa use his head more than his ability, he's the one (whether intentionally or unintentionally) who molded Akutagawa into this person, hungry for validation from his senior more than anything. And how you look at it (Dazai's intentions) determines if it was either a plan doomed from the start, or a perfectly calculated one.

Akutagawa would never want to seek more than what he was taught to seek. Would never stop being Dazai's lapdog. Would never grow a conscience that defines him, shape him into his own person. Would never hope for more than the Port Mafia, being Dazai's shadow.

In turn, Dazai would never need to worry about Akutagawa's intentions, only his executions. Something far easier to discipline someone over.

From the very beginning, Akutagawa was a wild card Dazai needed to moderate. So he made his approval all he should seek. He made him strive for nothing more.

He made Dazai all Akutagawa is.

And once he fulfills his wish to end his life, Akutagawa will be gone as well.

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Right now is such a great time to be a bsd fan. I feel like we're currently getting everything I've been wanting and more:

  • Sskk are facing a conflict that only they can handle. Not skk, not Ranpo and the ADA. Only Atsushi and Akutagawa can pull off a battle against Amenogozen
  • A ton of information about Atsushi's role, abilities as the bookmark, and even his hallucinations
  • Atsushi gaining a better understanding of Akutagawa through not only finding out about his past but witnessing his memories of it from his perspective
  • Dazai-Headmaster parallels for daaaays
  • Akutagawa has not coughed once

This is all the culmination of so much. Sskk will truly come out of this stronger than ever and I am so so hyped for it

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thinking about a dazai who willingly returned to the mafia at the end of this arc without having seen the agency properly. who tells mori with a heavy smile to put him wherever, knowing that it’s too early after the conflict has ended to expect dazai not to take a shot at the mafia, therefore too early to trust him in a high position in such volatile circumstances. “put me wherever” knowing this, and knowing that his mind was still too valuable of an asset to die as he might wish. he wistfully wonders if this makes him similar to odasaku.

chuuya doesn’t need corruption for another major conflict yet, it isn’t exactly No Longer Human that is valuable for the time being, so… not like Odasaku in the sense of abilities, more like a valuable player with a low-ball position. Dazai feels oddly calm.

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GURL. GURL. THE NEW CHAPTER, GURRRRRRRL

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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BELIEVE ME, I KNOW.

All I have been able to do in the lasy 24 hours has been posting and losing my shit about the last chapter. I never thought we'd get to see this. I never thought we'd get to this point.

Atsushi has now complete understanding of Akutagawa. What a time to live in.

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