Tineco Floor ONE S3 Cordless Hardwood Wet/Dry Vacuum

Oh my god THANK you

Once again:

my wife bought me one of these for my birthday last year and 1) it is so fucking comfortable 2) my actual dog also thinks this and gets so excited when i bring in my pillow and blanket to nap w her

mostly because she likes to sleep on my pillow when i get up.

That one theory

YES. THANK YOU

googling shit like "why do i feel bad after hanging out with my friends" and all of the answers are either "you need better friends" (i don't; my friends are wonderful) or "your social battery is drained, you need to rest and regain your energy levels" (i don't; i've got tons of energy, it's just manifesting as over-the-top neurotic mania). why is this even happening. it's like some stupid toll i have to pay as a punishment for enjoying myself too much

I actually, genuinely think social event aftercare would fix me. I need someone to put me to bed and say "you were fun today and no one hated you"

this is basically a short horror film

via @swatercolor [insta]

This is the best tag I've ever received on a post, I think

@buggycat

I'm thinking

dear god

hey so can we just. kill everybody whos ever stepped into a government building.

sure

do you ever have one of those nights where youre so sad and empty that you cant bring yourself to do anything but you also know you cant go to bed because then you would have to just sit in silence with your thoughts and that would be worse. so you just. do nothing

"are you okay?"

HAHAHAH YOURE SO FUNNY HAHHA

no