i firmly believe that mike fell for will first and realized it was wrong first. as bylers we talk a lot about how mike had mountains of queer coding and was “gayer” than will in previous seasons. which i think this is why the GA tends to think that will liking mike is fanservice or doomed to fail because they only saw the confession in the van scene. (apart from lacking media literacy) i genuinely think mike had always seen will as special to him, genuinely as like the light of his life, and while society/his family conditioned him to internalize his feelings, his own lack of self worth pushed him to hide his true self (but will later push him towards will). i think the biggest indicator to mike that his feelings could never be expressed was when his own father stated “see what happens mike?” yes it could’ve been seen as a half assed ignorant comment or a warning to mike but i think mike actually interpreted it as, “will being queer was the reason for his demise”. not only the demise of death but mixed with the downfall of how society viewed will as an individual. mike was already apart of the outcasts and not well liked, but mixing that with how no one even really mourned will, now that really scared mike.
so how does this all play into my claim? mike was in love with will when he died. part of him died that day with will. that was a good reason of why he didn’t hesitate to jump. thus, when a nearly impossible possibility that will was alive came to be, mike jumped at the chance. yes, because he loved will. but more so he had found his self worth back. it’s why we see his drive to repair his “relationships” dustin, lucas, and el, all of them now working together for the sole purpose of finding will (and yes keeping el safe). it’s why i believe he is no longer hesitant to show his full devotion to will at the end of season one, by being the first to run to will when he wakes up and why he chooses will repeatedly during season 2. he loved will all along, he loved that will gave him strength and self worth again. (something i might add he never felt with el, he ALWAYS felt weak and inferior and with el it only magnified that when we see how she has powers and could save people something he doesn’t think he can do.) as social pressures kept rising, all pushed him to fall to heteronormativity. and yet, even in his peak “straight bro” era. his love for will outweighs that, he chooses will through the storm that is season three and why he biked miles through the storm after the rain fight (bane of my existence btw). i don’t think it’s because he started to recognize his feelings for will in season 3 which prompted his obsession with el, i believe he always did know about them, from the start. and it’s why he continues to go back to will even when he does everything in his power to keep up his facade, he still knows that it’s will that he will choose. so by season 4, when mike’s back to his bs and forcing his attraction to el. we see it completely fall, over and over he incriminates himself and finds himself going back to will. again you ask why? because will has shown him what he has always needed, someone who sees his worth and is willing to stay with him even when he doesn’t see his purpose anymore. will empowers mike, not because will is weak and needs a savior because they just fit together and do that for each other. it’s the same reason will finds his own strength to confess (though with a cover) to mike. will finds his voice through mike, mike finds his strength and purpose through will. everything they need (emotionally), they find just that in the other.
