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Alex is in a relationship with Nora, Alex realises he's bi, Alex meets Henry.
This is a belated birthday present for ACD, who teaches me more about myself every day.
Alex is watching a movie when it hits him. Like a fucking freight train. When he sees flashes of toned abs and strong muscular hands on the screen, he turns to Nora and says, “I think I'm bi.” She doesn’t even look at him, just hums in agreement, too fixated on the shirtless man on the TV to comment. He looks back at the screen, at some actor saving the world from disaster, his well-defined torso covered in sweat and oil — and, Alex suddenly wishes, his tongue. He thinks back to those nights in high school, crawling through his best friend's window late at night so they could watch porn together. A very heterosexual activity, he thought at the time. Thinks of that night Alex had reached his hand over, just in case Liam needed some extra help. He did, and then he did again the next night. And the night after that. He thinks of that time he downloaded Grindr but uninstalled the app before he registered an account. Thinks of all the incognito tabs he's opened and closed in his life, looking for proof or evidence or a fucking answer to a question he doesn’t know he’s been asking. Afraid of what that answer might be if he actually goes searching for it, what it might mean or change or rearrange in his life. But there’s no search history in incognito mode.
❤️
