have you noticed how there is no acceptable thing for a trans lesbian to be, even within queer and feminist spaces? everything that is applauded as progressive, subversive, and powerful for tme queers to do, transfems are hated for.
you can't be a strong, aggressive woman, you can't speak your mind and be openly feminist, you certainly can't be angry, or the same queers who will praise outspoken tme women will turn around and call you a dangerous man. and god forbid you be a man-hating feminist dyke while butch, any touch of masculinity in your presentation will be further snatched up as proof that you're really a man trying to invade women's spaces.
you can't be sexual, you can't be proud of your body, you can't enjoy women's bodies, you can't be a lesbian who likes being a lesbian, or else the otherwise "sex positive" tme queers will accuse you of fetishizing womanhood, of being a predator, a straight man in disguise. and don't you dare commit the cardinal sin of actually liking having a penis, because everyone knows that penis is the ontologically evil weapon of the enemy!
but then, you can't be femme either. you can't enjoy feminine presentation, you can't want to be small and cutesy, you can't like makeup and spinny skirts, otherwise you're accused of reinforcing patriarchy and gender roles, of making a mockery of women, of wearing stereotypes like a costume. these accusations will all be thrown at you by tme queers who tag transmisogynistic caricatures as "gender goals", and who applaud the "femboy" but only before she comes out, only so long as they can say she's just a progressive role-smashing cis boy.
of course it goes without saying that the conservatives, the cishet men who want us to be their dirty little secrets, their lifeless sex toy, an object of desire and target for violence, of course they hate us. but it's not just the conservatives. no matter how you act, how you present yourself, how you feel and express your relationship to womanhood, to femininity, no matter how meek or outspoken you are, tme queers will criticize and ostracize and attack you for doing the very things they praise each other for.
there is no way to earn a way into their good graces, no way to be progressive or subversive in the "right" way, so long as they view the inherent fact of our transfemininity as too subversive, too perverse, to exist the first place.
