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miharaikko

@miharaikko

“THEY GO AT IT BABY!” - Matthew Lopez actively in my ❤️🤍👑💙 era, always in my TØP era |-/, she/her 🎶 🏎️ 📺 📚 💙

My 2024 writing round up

I started writing fic this year in May and managed to put out 21 pieces, 19 oneshots and 2 multi-chapters. I would have never imagined myself as a fic writer, considering I barely knew the concept a year ago, but here we are—brain rot so active and ideas overflowing 🤷‍♀️

I’m so thankful to all the people willing to give my little stories a chance. Thank you for all the kudos, comments and overall yelling on twitter and discord. 

And thank you to my Red Umbrella gang. Since meeting y'all in June my life has significantly improved 💕 Can’t wait to see what 2025 brings us! ✨

My AO3: miharaikko My fandom: Red, White & Royal Blue Number of fics posted: 21 Number of Words posted: 91,717

Breakdown under the cut.

Traffic Light Tag Game!

thank you to the wonderful people that tagged me @clockwrkpendrxgon, @firenati0n and @caterpills

i’ve been pretty awol from tumblr lately, but hopefully this is a good enough substitution for all the sunday sentence and wip wednesdays i missed

rules: talk about something creative you're working on of any kind. 🚦 green: what is it about, what excited you about it, what sparked the idea? 🚦 orange: slow down and share something from it: a photo, a few words, some more background info etc. 🚦 red: what is the roadblock currently? what is one thing that is a necessary evil in making it?

Green

working on a 5+1 oneshot that i’ve been thinking about for so long.

it’s a roommates to lovers AU where the action mostly takes place on their shared couch.

it all started with me cuddling next to my bf and whispering ‘couch boyfriend’ each time he hugs me tight. it’s really a recharging method for me at this point and it felt like it’s something Alex and Henry would totally do. they just need to get to the ‘boyfriend part first’. 🤭

i also want to mix it with my ‘100 ways to say I Love You’ prompts, basically including one of the 4 in each scene. it’s probably going to be a whole lot of fluff and i hope people like it 🥹

Orange

i have the basic ideas for the 5+1 scenes written down and i know what i want those scenes to be and how to include the 100 ILY prompts as well. two of the sections are also mostly written.

i also made a small pinterest board for inspo and i keep adding to it. it’s mostly me looking for pics of people cuddling on a couch but there’s some quotes in there too. the most relevant ones i think are these two, just showing the way alex warms up to henry bit by bit

Red

life, i guess. i’ve not been in a good mental place in the last month or so. maybe more.

my job is a creative one but my boss stifles that creativity. i often tend to dismiss my talent if things don’t come out perfect from the start (and they never do—it’s called trial & error, going through several iterations until you nail the perfect one)—but my brain still refuses to believe that.

so after a workday where my creativity is in the dumps, you’d think that maybe writing fic would save me, but no. i look at a blank page that often remains blank.

i have the ideas, i just can’t put them down into sentences. and that frustrates the hell out of me—the fact that not even writing fic can get me out of this creative slump.

but we persist and carry on. i have a holiday coming up next week so i hope to get a mental reset and then finish this baby up 💕

No pressure tags below the cut 🥰

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Art inspired by "love thorns all over this rose"

@theprinceandagcd has been posting the amazing "love thorns all over this rose" and in the first chapter there was this:

He even gets Henry to dance in the middle of the kitchen floor once, his large palms framing Alex's waist. Alex shimmies and shakes his hips because he knows it'll make Henry laugh, and there's something thrilling about being the reason for that pitch-perfect sound reverberating around the room, something provocative in the way it ghosts across Alex’s skin.

Which made me do this

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[Kinktober] Round 2 | RWRB Fanart

Uncensored ver on Twitter... Sadly Tumblr is being sensitive af

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY WHIMSY

it is @whimsymanaged's birthday and well here is a silly lil fic that i wrote especially for her

When he hears it, Alex is minding his own business, pouring yet another cup of coffee in the breakroom. “It’s seriously smut with the Microsoft paperclip, and people have actually read it, I guess.” “What?!” The words are so absurd that they practically grab Alex by the collar, and he can’t help but turn and join the conversation. “Clippy? That annoying damn paperclip has smut written for him? Is this what my ao3 tag is competing with these days?” or the Alex finds out about Clippy smut and can't resist sharing with Henry none of us but Whimsy knew we wanted

thanks @miharaikko & @kj-bee for making sure it was the right amount of silly

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HAPPY SUNDAY LUVS!!!!

well i had planned to be saying oh that photog alex fic is posted but then I made the mistake of scrolling tumblr and this happened - who’da thunk a cigarette would lead to a bi speedrun? - so if ya want a quick read of alex having a bi speedrun bcuz he sees henry smoking well here ya go - so photog alex will go up 2moro i think as my last @safe-smuttin submission (saved as a draft and ready to go)

and words today will be from photog alex i guess cuz well a lot of my other words are secret right now - under the cut - for kinda smut i guess lolz (and cuz there is no way i'm bothering counting so it's a lot

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How to Make Your Characters Almost Cry

Tears are powerful, but do you know what's more impactful? The struggle to hold them back. This post is for all your hard-hearted stoic characters who'd never shed a tear before another, and aims to help you make them breakdown realistically.

The Physical Signs of Holding Back Tears

  • Heavy Eyelids, Heavy Heart Your character's eyelids feel weighted, as if the tears themselves are dragging them down. Their vision blurs—not quite enough to spill over, but enough to remind them of the dam threatening to break.
  • The Involuntary Sniffle They sniffle, not because their nose is running, but because their body is desperately trying to regulate itself, to suppress the wave of emotion threatening to take over.
  • Burning Eyes Their eyes sting from the effort of restraint, from the battle between pride and vulnerability. If they try too hard to hold back, the whites of their eyes start turning red, a telltale sign of the tears they've refused to let go.
  • The Trembling Lips Like a child struggling not to cry, their lips quiver. The shame of it fuels their determination to stay composed, leading them to clench their fists, grip their sleeves, or dig their nails into the nearest surface—anything to regain control.
  • The Fear of Blinking Closing their eyes means surrender. The second their lashes meet, the memories, the pain, the heartbreak will surge forward, and the tears will follow. So they force themselves to keep staring—at the floor, at a blank wall, at anything that won’t remind them of why they’re breaking.

The Coping Mechanisms: Pretending It’s Fine

  • A Steady Gaze & A Deep Breath To mask the turmoil, they focus on a neutral object, inhale slowly, and steel themselves. If they can get through this one breath, they can get through the next.
  • Turning Away to Swipe at Their Eyes When they do need to wipe their eyes, they do it quickly, casually, as if brushing off a speck of dust rather than wiping away the proof of their emotions.
  • Masking the Pain with a Different Emotion Anger, sarcasm, even laughter—any strong emotion can serve as a shield. A snappy response, a bitter chuckle, a sharp inhale—each is a carefully chosen defence against vulnerability.

Why This Matters

Letting your character fight their tears instead of immediately breaking down makes the scene hit harder. It shows their internal struggle, their resistance, and their need to stay composed even when they’re crumbling.

This is written based off of personal experience as someone who goes through this cycle a lot (emotional vulnerability who?) and some inspo from other books/articles

Me reading another person's writing: Oh they missed a period there, no worries mistakes happen :) Three adjectives in a sentence? Adverbs for days? No worries I love descriptions and this story is fire.

Me seeing the same thing in my work: Wow am I illiterate? Am I actually ok? Who the actual fuck told me I can write so I can go and curse their entire family for the time it took for me to carefully craft this GARBAGE.

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“Perhaps we should return to the wedding. Also, I am not entirely sure where my father is right now.” Henry glances into the branches of the linden trees above them.

Illustration for The Trouble with Sex Waifs.

(I solely drew this so I could draw Arthur Fox. If you've read the fic, zoom in.)

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Temples are built for gods. Knowing this a farmer builds a small temple to see what kind of god turns up.

Arepo built a temple in his field, a humble thing, some stones stacked up to make a cairn, and two days later a god moved in.

“Hope you’re a harvest god,” Arepo said, and set up an altar and burnt two stalks of wheat. “It’d be nice, you know.” He looked down at the ash smeared on the stone, the rocks all laid askew, and coughed and scratched his head. “I know it’s not much,” he said, his straw hat in his hands. “But - I’ll do what I can. It’d be nice to think there’s a god looking after me.”

The next day he left a pair of figs, the day after that he spent ten minutes of his morning seated by the temple in prayer. On the third day, the god spoke up.

“You should go to a temple in the city,” the god said. Its voice was like the rustling of the wheat, like the squeaks of fieldmice running through the grass. “A real temple. A good one. Get some real gods to bless you. I’m no one much myself, but I might be able to put in a good word?” It plucked a leaf from a tree and sighed. “I mean, not to be rude. I like this temple. It’s cozy enough. The worship’s been nice. But you can’t honestly believe that any of this is going to bring you anything.”

“This is more than I was expecting when I built it,” Arepo said, laying down his scythe and lowering himself to the ground. “Tell me, what sort of god are you anyway?”

“I’m of the fallen leaves,” it said. “The worms that churn beneath the earth. The boundary of forest and of field. The first hint of frost before the first snow falls. The skin of an apple as it yields beneath your teeth. I’m a god of a dozen different nothings, scraps that lead to rot, momentary glimpses. A change in the air, and then it’s gone.”

The god heaved another sigh. “There’s no point in worship in that, not like War, or the Harvest, or the Storm. Save your prayers for the things beyond your control, good farmer. You’re so tiny in the world. So vulnerable. Best to pray to a greater thing than me.”

Arepo plucked a stalk of wheat and flattened it between his teeth. “I like this sort of worship fine,” he said. “So if you don’t mind, I think I’ll continue.”

“Do what you will,” said the god, and withdrew deeper into the stones. “But don’t say I never warned you otherwise.”

Arepo would say a prayer before the morning’s work, and he and the god contemplated the trees in silence. Days passed like that, and weeks, and then the Storm rolled in, black and bold and blustering. It flooded Arepo’s fields, shook the tiles from his roof, smote his olive tree and set it to cinder. The next day, Arepo and his sons walked among the wheat, salvaging what they could. The little temple had been strewn across the field, and so when the work was done for the day, Arepo gathered the stones and pieced them back together.

“Useless work,” the god whispered, but came creeping back inside the temple regardless. “There wasn’t a thing I could do to spare you this.”

“We’ll be fine,” Arepo said. “The storm’s blown over. We’ll rebuild. Don’t have much of an offering for today,” he said, and laid down some ruined wheat, “but I think I’ll shore up this thing’s foundations tomorrow, how about that?” 

The god rattled around in the temple and sighed.

A year passed, and then another. The temple had layered walls of stones, a roof of woven twigs. Arepo’s neighbors chuckled as they passed it. Some of their children left fruit and flowers. And then the Harvest failed, the gods withdrew their bounty. In Arepo’s field the wheat sprouted thin and brittle. People wailed and tore their robes, slaughtered lambs and spilled their blood, looked upon the ground with haunted eyes and went to bed hungry. Arepo came and sat by the temple, the flowers wilted now, the fruit shriveled nubs, Arepo’s ribs showing through his chest, his hands still shaking, and murmured out a prayer. 

“There is nothing here for you,” said the god, hudding in the dark. “There is nothing I can do. There is nothing to be done.” It shivered, and spat out its words. “What is this temple but another burden to you?”

“We -” Arepo said, and his voice wavered. “So it’s a lean year,” he said. “We’ve gone through this before, we’ll get through this again. So we’re hungry,” he said. “We’ve still got each other, don’t we? And a lot of people prayed to other gods, but it didn’t protect them from this. No,” he said, and shook his head, and laid down some shriveled weeds on the altar. “No, I think I like our arrangement fine.”

“There will come worse,” said the god, from the hollows of the stone. “And there will be nothing I can do to save you.”

The years passed. Arepo rested a wrinkled hand upon the temple of stone and some days spent an hour there, lost in contemplation with the god.

And one fateful day, from across the wine-dark seas, came War.

Arepo came stumbling to his temple now, his hand pressed against his gut, anointing the holy site with his blood. Behind him, his wheat fields burned, and the bones burned black in them. He came crawling on his knees to a temple of hewed stone, and the god rushed out to meet him.

“I could not save them,” said the god, its voice a low wail. “I am sorry. I am sorry. I am so so sorry.” The leaves fell burning from the trees, a soft slow rain of ash. “I have done nothing! All these years, and I have done nothing for you!”

“Shush,” Arepo said, tasting his own blood, his vision blurring. He propped himself up against the temple, forehead pressed against the stone in prayer. “Tell me,” he mumbled. “Tell me again. What sort of god are you?”

“I -” said the god, and reached out, cradling Arepo’s head, and closed its eyes and spoke.

“I’m of the fallen leaves,” it said, and conjured up the image of them. “The worms that churn beneath the earth. The boundary of forest and of field. The first hint of frost before the first snow falls. The skin of an apple as it yields beneath your teeth.” Arepo’s lips parted in a smile.

“I am the god of a dozen different nothings,” it said. “The petals in bloom that lead to rot, the momentary glimpses. A change in the air -” Its voice broke, and it wept. “Before it’s gone.”

“Beautiful,” Arepo said, his blood staining the stones, seeping into the earth. “All of them. They were all so beautiful.”

And as the fields burned and the smoke blotted out the sun, as men were trodden in the press and bloody War raged on, as the heavens let loose their wrath upon the earth, Arepo the sower lay down in his humble temple, his head sheltered by the stones, and returned home to his god.

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ciiriianan

Sora found the temple with the bones within it, the roof falling in upon them.

“Oh, poor god,” she said, “With no-one to bury your last priest.” Then she paused, because she was from far away. “Or is this how the dead are honored here?” The god roused from its contemplation.

“His name was Arepo,” it said, “He was a sower.”

Sora startled, a little, because she had never before heard the voice of a god. “How can I honor him?” She asked.

“Bury him,” the god said, “Beneath my altar.”

“All right,” Sora said, and went to fetch her shovel.

“Wait,” the god said when she got back and began collecting the bones from among the broken twigs and fallen leaves. She laid them out on a roll of undyed wool, the only cloth she had. “Wait,” the god said, “I cannot do anything for you. I am not a god of anything useful.”

Sora sat back on her heels and looked at the altar to listen to the god.

“When the Storm came and destroyed his wheat, I could not save it,” the god said, “When the Harvest failed and he was hungry, I could not feed him. When War came,” the god’s voice faltered. “When War came, I could not protect him. He came bleeding from the battle to die in my arms.” Sora looked down again at the bones.

“I think you are the god of something very useful,” she said.

“What?” the god asked.

Sora carefully lifted the skull onto the cloth. “You are the god of Arepo.”

Generations passed. The village recovered from its tragedies—homes rebuilt, gardens re-planted, wounds healed. The old man who once lived on the hill and spoke to stone and rubble had long since been forgotten, but the temple stood in his name. Most believed it to empty, as the god who resided there long ago had fallen silent. Yet, any who passed the decaying shrine felt an ache in their hearts, as though mourning for a lost friend. The cold that seeped from the temple entrance laid their spirits low, and warded off any potential visitors, save for the rare and especially oblivious children who would leave tiny clusters of pink and white flowers that they picked from the surrounding meadow.

The god sat in his peaceful home, staring out at the distant road, to pedestrians, workhorses, and carriages, raining leaves that swirled around bustling feet. How long had it been? The world had progressed without him, for he knew there was no help to be given. The world must be a cruel place, that even the useful gods have abandoned, if farms can flood, harvests can run barren, and homes can burn, he thought.

He had come to understand that humans are senseless creatures, who would pray to a god that cannot grant wishes or bless upon them good fortune. Who would maintain a temple and bring offerings with nothing in return. Who would share their company and meditate with such a fruitless deity. Who would bury a stranger without the hope for profit. What bizarre, futile kindness they had wasted on him. What wonderful, foolish, virtuous, hopeless creatures, humans were.

So he painted the sunset with yellow leaves, enticed the worms to dance in their soil, flourished the boundary between forest and field with blossoms and berries, christened the air with a biting cold before winter came, ripened the apples with crisp, red freckles to break under sinking teeth, and a dozen other nothings, in memory of the man who once praised the god’s work on his dying breath.

“Hello, God of Every Humble Beauty in the World,” called a familiar voice.

The squinting corners of the god’s eyes wept down onto curled lips. “Arepo,” he whispered, for his voice was hoarse from its hundred-year mutism.

“I am the god of devotion, of small kindnesses, of unbreakable bonds. I am the god of selfless, unconditional love, of everlasting friendships, and trust,” Arepo avowed, soothing the other with every word.

“That’s wonderful, Arepo,” he responded between tears, “I’m so happy for you—such a powerful figure will certainly need a grand temple. Will you leave to the city to gather more worshippers? You’ll be adored by all.”

“No,” Arepo smiled.

“Farther than that, to the capitol, then? Thank you for visiting here before your departure.”

“No, I will not go there, either,” Arepo shook his head and chuckled.

“Farther still? What ambitious goals, you must have. There is no doubt in my mind that you will succeed, though,” the elder god continued.

“Actually,” interrupted Arepo, “I’d like to stay here, if you’ll have me.”

The other god was struck speechless. “…. Why would you want to live here?”

“I am the god of unbreakable bonds and everlasting friendships. And you are the god of Arepo.”

I reblogged this once with the first story. Now the story has grown and I’m crying. This is gorgeous, guys. This is what dreams are made of.

This is amazing!

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