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@djiarin / djiarin.tumblr.com

honey, he’s dead
she/he ⚢ twenty three

we're going to have an OLDER BROTHER summer. we will be drinking MONSTER. we will be LIFTING WEIGHTS. we will be ignoring our MOM. we will be surviving off of CHIPS and NOODLES. we will NOT be SHOWERING. we will only be putting on AXE DEODORANT. we will be bothering PRETTY WOMEN and getting REJECTED. OLDER BROTHER SUMMER !!

the argument that bella doesn’t look “intimidating and scary” enough to be ellie is so fucking stupid because game ellie doesn’t look all that intimidating or scary either :/ she’s nineteen years old and acting on impulse and grief and obsession, and it’s like people completely forget or overlook the scene she has with dina in the theater after she kills nora. she’s shaken from what just happened. like. she just brutally killed someone. even though that’s what she set out to do, that’s still really heavy and a lot to process. it’s also not how she planned to do it in the first place. ellie isn’t aura maxxing for the hell of it, her mental health is struggling in a really severe way. if it really isn’t about peoples lack of attraction to bella ramsey, it’s about their lack of understanding ellie’s actual character and motivation. at the end of the day she’s still a nineteen year old girl who was forced to watch the most important person in her life be killed, and there wasn’t anything she could do about it. just think about her conversation with dina at the dance — “i’m just a girl. not a threat.” “oh ellie. i think they should be terrified of you.”

when you grew up as a lonely uncool girl it will never stop haunting you by the way. you will meet a cool person at a bar or the train station or at a friend's party and you can wear your most stylish outfit and striking eye makeup and you will swear that they can see through all of the facade and see the lonely terribly insecure teenage girl you used to be who desperately wanted to connect and you will swear that they know that there is like an insurmountable gap between you. this will happen forever

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