On hiding: Shame and the desire for revenge

The psychoanalyst S ndor Ferenzci identified shame and shaming as factors in trauma that can undermine an individual's capacity to grow psychically. Shame hides and through concealment exerts great power over the self, which explains our tendency to tackle such emotional states alone - we can feel too ashamed to share our struggle with others. Elisabeth Hanscombe draws on her own experiences of shame, and autobiographical and theoretical contributions of other writers, to explore the nature of shame across a range of perspectives; the roots of shame, group shame, bodily shame, shame and guilt, the functionality of shame, shame and narcissism, the shame of childhood abuse, competition-based shame, shame and the desire for revenge, and the treatment of shame. Of particular interest to Hanscombe is the power of writing about shame to reduce its impact. The shaming experience renders the shamed one speechless and can cause people to shut down on attempts at further self-knowledge or understanding of others. The process of writing can elevate the shamed behaviour from what was unspeakable to something more palatable and able to be considered out loud and in public, thereby altering its nature. It is an opportunity to not only expose failures, but to assess their overall significance, and reflect on the proper grounds for self-esteem. The experience of too much shaming can lead us into more savage territory, including rage and with it a desire for revenge. Writing can be one way to overcome such unhelpful defences, restore meaning, experience the empathy of others, challenge one's shame and neutralise it under the light of day.