Benign Flame: Saga of Love

Benign Flame: Saga of Love BS M urt hy ISBN 81-901911-3-6 Enriched edition © 2020 BS M urthy Originally published by Writ ers Workshop, Kolkata, Second, t hird and fourth editions by Self Imprint in 1997, 2004, and im proved E-book edit ion is of 2013. Based on the oil on canvas by E. Rohini Kumar, cover designed for 2004 edit ion by KB Bhaskar, GDC creat ive advert ising (p) ltd., Hyderabad - 500 080. F-9, Nandini M ansion, 1-10-234, Ashok Nagar, Hyderabad – 500 020 Other books by BS M urthy – Jew el-less Crown: Saga of Life Crossing the M irage – Passing through yout h Glaring Shadow - A st ream of consciousness novel Prey on the Prowl – A Crim e Novel Stories Varied – A Book of Short Stories Onto the Stage - Slight ed Souls and other stage and plays Puppet s of Faith: Theory of Comm unal St rife (Non-fict ion) Bhagvad-Gita: Treatise of self – help (A t ranslat ion in verse) Sundara Kãnda - Hanuman’s Odyssey (A t ranslat ion in verse) Chapter of the Saga Chapt er 1: Ramaiah’s Fam ily Chapt er 2: Realit ies of Life Chapt er 3: Hapless Hope Chapt er 4: Turn at the Tet her Chapt er 5: M oorings of M arriage Chapt er 6: World within the World Chapt er 7: Roopa’ s En Passant Chapt er 8: Threshold of Temptat ion Chapt er 9: Sathyam’s Surrender Chapt er 10: Sandhya’s Sojourn Chapt er 11: M at ch in the M aking Chapt er 12: Poignant M oment Chapt er 13: Wedding Season Chapt er 14: Veil of Fat e Chapt er 15: Naughty Nuptials Chapt er 16: Tidings of Love Chapt er 17: Tentative M oves Chapt er 18: Fet ishes of Fantasy Chapt er 19: Curtain of Court esy Chapt er 20: Blueprint in the Offing Chapt er 21: Enduring Longing Chapt er 22: Villainy of Life Chapt er 23 : Playboy at Play Chapt er 24: Scheming the Them e Chapt er 25: Device of Deceit Chapt er 26: Soft ware of Detour Chapt er27: Tara’s Theory Chapt er28: Night of the M at es Chapt er29: A Brimming Romance Chapt er30: Euphoric Forays Chapt er31: Living the Dream Chapt er32: Chat at the Bar Chapt er33: Am our on Rein Chapt er34: Surge of a M erge Chapt er35: Dat e with Dest iny Chapt er36: Threesom e Sail Chapt er37: End of an Innings Chapt er38: Subdued Beginning Dedicat ed t o Naagamani, my better half, w ho still leaves no st one unturned for m y fulfillm ent . Chapter 1 Ram aiah’s Family That wint er night in the m id-sevent ies, the Janata Express was racing rhythm ically on it s t racks t owards the coast of Andhra Pradesh. As it s headlight pierced the darkness of t he fert ile plains, the driver honked the horn as though t o awake the sleepy environs to t he spectacle of the speeding t rain. On that , in the S-3, w ere the Ram aiahs wit h their nine year-old daught er Roopa. Earlier, from Ramavaram , it was in the nick of t im e that Ramaiah took Janaki t o Vellore for the doctors t o ext ricate her from the jaw s of death. Now, having been to Tirupat i for thanksgiving, he was returning home w it h his wife and Roopa they took along for the sojourn. While her parent s were fast asleep, Roopa sat st ill on a side berth, rem iniscing her tim es at the hospital w here Janaki took one m onth to recuperat e under Dr. Yasoda’s care. Soon the train st opped at a village stat ion, as t hough t o disrupt Roopa’s daydream s of m odeling herself on the lady doct or at the Christian M edical College Hospital, and as she peeped out , t he ill-lit plat form seem ed to suggest that the chances of her being Dr. Roopa could be but dim . Ramaiah t oo woke up to the com mot ion caused by the incom ing passengers, and was surprised to see his daughter st ill awake, lost in her t hought s. “ What are you schem ing m y darling?” he said in jest. “ Naanna, won’t you m ake me a doct or?” she said as though in a trance. “ Haven’t t he nurses already made you a junior doctor?” he said affect ionat ely, bringing her escapades at the hospital back int o her m ental focus, and pleased with her idea, he patt ed her to sleep, even as he recalled his anxieties associat ed with her birt h. Ramaiah was jolt ed from his reverie as som eone in the compartm ent swit ched on t he light, t o prepare him self to alight at t he com ing station. ‘Surely she would shape up into a dusky beauty. Won’t she be bright as well?’ he t hought , looking at Roopa in her deep sleep, and recalled her escapade when she was hardly three. “ You know how clever our Roopa is?” said Janaki, at bedtim e. “ She want ed the t im epiece to fiddle w it h and when I refused to give in, she cried no end. When she forgot what she was crying for, she cried t o know why she cried at all! What a unique girl our Roopa is!” As the t rain m oved into a m ajor junct ion, Ramaiah got down, looking for a coffee vendor. Unable to find even a t ea vendor, he lit his Berkeley without a beverage. When t he guard whistled the start , a half-naked urchin jost led past Ram aiah into t he bogie t o crouch in the vest ibule. While the t rain was on the move, Ramaiah w ondered w het her t he urchin had crouched to draw warm th from his heart to ward off the chillness, and pit ying him , as he gave him som e m oney the lad took as a mat t er of right . ‘Isn’t there som et hing called grat itude?’ thought Ram aiah, feeling disregarded. ‘Is he so naive that he know s not civilit y? Or could he be an out cast, unfamiliar w ith the nicet ies of society?’ Ram aiah looked at him int ently as t hough for a clue. ‘Is it possible t hat his exposure to t he elem ent s in his nakedness should’ve robbed his body of it s sense of feeling?’ he thought, finding t he wretched lad as cool as a cucumber. ‘ Now, what he needs m ost is a piece of clot h to cover him with. Aft er all, money wouldn’t provide warm th by it self, w ould it ?’ Ramaiah w ent to his t runk to fet ch a vest for t he urchin. Seeing him w ear it without even looking at him, Ramaiah wondered whether t he lad was indifferent t o the w orld in general. ‘Could life get worse than that?’ Ram aiah wondered, as he t ried to go back to sleep on his allot t ed berth. How was he to know that one day, despairing for love, Roopa w ould personify the w ret ched side of life it self. The outbreak of t he day, which brought the sun on to the horizon, w oke up Ram aiah. Realizing it would st ill take an hour to reach Ram avaram, he was inclined to inaction. The chillness of t he wintry breeze and the warm th of the sunny daw n st ruck him for t heir cont rast. Looking yonder, he saw the dew filled fields bejeweled by refract ion and t hought that they brought lust er to the M aster’s Creation. When Janaki woke up, as Ramaiah folded up t he berth, providing space for those in t he aisle to rest their weary legs, there was enough room in the com partment for the assort ed charact ers waiting in the vest ibule. Soon, the new spaper of the day was split int o four that preoccupied as many. As it s cent er page landed in t he lap of the one opposite, Ram aiah couldn’t help but crane his neck t o screen t he bold print t herein. How ever, all the pages cam e to him , though in a crumpled shape, enabling him t o go through the copy before the vestiges of the paper w ere rest ored to whom it belonged, but not before the scandals in it were savored by t hose present . Having finished with the new spaper in that interm it tent reading, Ramaiah puffed away at his freshly lit Berkeley, and looking out from the w indow, he began to adm ire t he scenery filled with greenery. When t he landscape around looked fam iliar, he w oke up Roopa and goaded Janaki to m ove towards the exit. Soon he too joined them w ith t he bag and baggage. Waiting near the wash-basin, Ramaiah rem em bered the lad and looked for him, and not finding him , he thought, ‘That is life. It has a dest ination even for the destitute.’ Soon Ramaiah leaned out of the slow ing t rain to ascert ain t he platform . ----When the train screeched to t he welcom e chores of the wait ing staff of the Ramavaram Station, alight ing from it wit h the precaution associat ed with an occasional t raveler, Ramaiah hurried his family towards the exit like a habitual com mut er w ho cat ches the t rain on the m ove. “ The postmast er might’ve brought bagfuls of new s,” the ticket collect or at the gat e greet ed Ram aiah, alluding t o the village post mast ers’ penchant to peruse the post before delivery. “ The only new s is that t he M ails are running lat e,” was the Ram aiah repart ee as he handed over t he ticket s. Once out , he engaged tw o cycle rickshaws t o take t hem hom e. Ramavaram was a m ini town as it s resident s loved to call it. With just five hundred houses, it was no m ore than a village in Ram aiah’s childhood but grew rapidly to house t hirt y thousand souls by the time Roopa was born. Well, the explosion in it s population ow ed m ore to the migration than to procreat ion, and that represent ed the t rend all over. While the nat ives lam ented that the place w as burst ing at it s seam s, the set tlers felt it was brimm ing with act ivity. How ever, all were proud t o belong to it , not to speak of the Ramaiahs. Life was running it s routine course in Ram aiah’s household unt il fat e ordained a t ragedy, as t hough to ensure Roopa’s resolve to become a doct or was not dissolved in t he m yopic dream s of her imminent m aidenhood, Rukmini, her elder sist er, orphaned her son for want of postnatal care at the governm ent m at ernit y hom e t hat cam e up by t hen. “ Nature’s vict im of procreation and man’s m eans of recreat ion, t hat ’s what w oman is,” bemoaned Janaki. ‘Only as a doctor can I help wom en,’ resolved Roopa t o herself. With Rukmini’s premature death causing consternation in the concerned households, t he elders, in due course, went into a huddle, and decided it would be in the best int erests of the motherless child if Suguna, t he deceased’s sister, married the widow er. So aft er a decent wait , while Suguna replicat ed her sibling in her brot her-in-law’s life, Roopa too m atured as t hough nat ure int ended t o synchronize her body with her m ind. While Roopa resembled a flower at dawn with it s dew on, her complexion of tan was in consonance w it h the radiance of her velvet skin. Even as her vivacious features acquired softness as though to project the sw eetness of her nat ure, her gaze gave way t o glances as if to convey her innat e inclinations. While her nascent bust was akin t o a curious m aiden peeping out from behind the curt ain, the oni she wore st rived to veil her maiden form. Her em erging figure and her diffident disposition lent t entativeness to her gait that seem ed like the calibrat ed m ovem ent s of a virtuoso danseuse on t he way to t he crescendo. Though in her int eraction, she was modest y personified that st rangely enhanced her sensual appeal, nevert heless, while wat ching the boys on the sly, she w ithdrew from t hem w it h inhibition. How ever, embellishing her unique persona, she cam e to have a mind of her own. Once when she debunked t he puranic tales of cock-pecked w ives as perverse male st ratagem s t o enslave wom en, Janaki was truly alarm ed. “ These tales of fem ale fidelity have a purpose of their ow n,” said Janaki to Roopa. “ Since nature made m en prom iscuous, it’s the female loyalt y that holds the marriage in t he long run, for the benefit of t he family and the societ y as w ell. These tales have a moral for m en as w ell for t hey underscore t he fact that it’s the wife who sticks through t hick and t hin with their m an and not the lascivious lasses wit h whom t hey com e to st ray.” As Roopa rem ained unconvinced and minced no words about the fallacy of the proposit ion, Janaki realized t hat old wives tales w ere no longer a currency with the educat ed girls. So she thought it fit to reason it out w it h her and Chandrika, her unm arried daught ers, about the pit falls of premarit al sex and thus closet ed w it h them one evening. “ I t hink it ’s t im e I talk to you about the proclivit ies of youth,” Janaki began enigm atically. “ To be drawn to boys at your age is but natural and desirable even. It helps the healthy developm ent of your sexuality. Infatuation is the narcotic of the nascent youth, and if only the dosage is right , it could bring in small pleasures that delight. On the ot her hand, a thought less overdose could cripple your womanliness forever. While being friendly w ith t he boys, bew are of their at titudes and be aware about your vulnerabilities. They pursue for the final favor doggedly unt il they are dogt ired. Nature m ade t hem that way and for a purpose; fem ale fulfillment is the purpose of m ale desire. It’s left for you to draw your ow n premarital lines. Do not get into those sit uations that m ight let you part w it h that for w hich t hey court you so fervently. If only you int eract with easy virtue, your dat e could doubt your abilit y to resist a fut ure seducer. Thus, if you favor your lover in a hurry, you m ight end up losing him besides t hat by which m en m easure wom en. And that would be enough t o put you in a doghouse for life.” Janaki extract ed a prom ise from Chandrika and Roopa t hat they wouldn’t indulge in prem arital sex. ----Ramaiah’s household was jolted from it s routine t hat April at the news of his im pending t ransfer to Kakinada, though on prom ot ion. And as if t o relieve them from t he obligation to stay back, Janaki’ s parent s passed away in quick succession even before the t ransfer order was on hand. Whatever, Ram aiah w elcom ed the developm ent as it would entail bet ter schooling for the children, especially to Raju his only son, and expose them to a liberal environm ent as well. Once t he dynamics of change cam e into play in Ramaiah’ s household, the inert ia of lethargy gave way to the novelt y of life. The house w ith a backyard t hat they rent ed in Ramaraopeta made everyone feel at hom e. While Janaki enjoyed t he company of bett er-educat ed wom en from the neighborhood, the children w ere excit ed at the prospect of their schooling in t he English m edium . Exercising his increased pow er over an enlarged body of subordinates, Ramaiah too felt at hom e at the Head Post Office. When he got Chandrika adm it ted in the PR College in the interm ediate, he felt as t hough he was paying due respect s to his Alm a M at er. While Roopa enrolled in the Govt. Girls High School for her pre final, Raju joined the M cLauren High School in the eighth class. While Ramavaram becam e a distant m emory for all of t hem , Roopa cam e to realize t hat she becam e the object of boys’ att ent ion and t he subject of girls’ envy. Nevert heless, she didn’t see any cont radiction in that, for she had com e t o appreciate t he value of her sexuality. Her t eachers’ complim ent s about her cerebral caliber only furt hered her sense of confidence. M id way into t he first-t erm , when Roopa was on top of t he world, Sandhya, the daughter of the new Joint Collector, joined the class. About the sam e age as she was, Sandhya was short er by a fract ion but rosy in complexion. While she looked cut e and lively, in her slim fram e, she carried herself with that grace often associat ed with the children of the well-off from t he cities. The sophist ication of her m anner, and the chast ity of her accent, acquired at the Hyderabad Public School, put everyone in awe, t he teachers included, but her m odest y and friendliness enabled her classm at es to flock t o her in their numbers. How ever, Roopa felt like the spirit ed person at a dinner part y, who would have lost t he audience upon the arrival of a celebrit y, and act ed in a like manner; she didn’t join t he bandwagon but when Sandhya herself sought her help to cat ch up with t he syllabus, Roopa obliged her, having felt vindicated. While Sandhya was impressed w ith the keenness of Roopa’s intellect, the warm th of Sandhya’s persona at tract ed Roopa. The closer t hey becam e, the m ore they adm ired each other. M oreover, the m ore t hey cam e t o know about one another, the fonder they becam e of each other. Soon, they were seen only together. As t he final exam s neared, they co-st udied at Sandhya’s place during the preparatory holidays. Wit h Kamalakar and Damayanthi, Sandhya’s parent s, having readily taken to Roopa, she felt at hom e at the Joint Collector’s Bungalow, where she found a large collect ion of fict ion, which she began t o pore over. Ram aiah, recalling his t eacher’s advice to him that classics would im prove one’s language, deepen his vision and broaden his horizons, was glad that his daughter was on the right t rack though he him self had m issed the bus. Soon enough, Ramaiah was forced to take stock of his situation. Agricultural incom e becam e m eager ever since t hey left Ramavaram . Aft er all, the lessee of their deplet ed landholding made it a habit to blam e it upon the drought to deny Ramaiah his due. Besides, as all the eligible account s w ere discount ed, t here was no way t o have a loan from his office. As for their ancest ral dw ellings, the modern houses t hat cam e up made t hem ant iques already. Thus, Ramaiah began t o feel as if he reached the dead end of Ramavaram . “ Why not dispose of all that?” he broached the topic w it h Janaki. “ What with the dim inishing ret urns, they’re asset s only for the record. But if only the old man were alive it w ould have been a different st ory.” “ With the ‘land for the t iller’ t hick in the air, bet t er w e com e out clean,” she gave the green signal. “ You bett er sell away what ever litt le m y father left m e as w ell.” When he returned from Ram avaram , aft er having sold what all they had, he felt as t hough his umbilical cord with t he place was severed. With those proceeds, he proceeded to acquire an old building in Gandhinagar as t heir ‘old age shelt er’ as he put it . The rest of the fund he deposit ed in a scheduled bank to take care of future needs. Chapter 2 Realities of Life Aft er t hat summ er recess, with the reopening of the PR College, Roopa, and Sandhya joined in the Int erm ediat e, and as though to signal the end of their schooling, they shed t heir skirts to swit ch over to saris. Looking all the sw eet er in t heir sw eet sixt een’s as t hey ent ered t he cam pus that day, Roopa in her snuff chiffon sari and Sandhya in her Gadwal cot t on one, they creat ed quite a sensation. The delectable contours of Roopa’s w ell-proport ioned body of five feet five appeared accentuat ed by her narrow waist as her curvy figure in that velvet skin lent form t o her sari meant for enhancing her modest y. Her robust breast s that dared the veiling, and t he t hick seat, which hugged it tight, made it seem that her genes st rove hard to enhance her sex appeal. While her tapered arm s t hat abutt ed on her flowing fram e lent poise to her persona, sw ung by the swing of her seat in her tantalizing gait, her hair in plait pictured a pendulum that caressed her bot t om . As the radiance of her face gave an aura to her charm ing manner, her self-belief was in consonance with her sensualit y. M oreover, the im bibed sophist ication in Sandhya’s company gave style to her substance t hat made her ravishing. Sandhya’ s rosy com plexion, in congruence w ith her angelic soul, impart ed pleasantness t o her persona. While her slim figure and sharp features defined aesthetics, her sparkling eyes reflect ed the spirit of her lively nature. Even as the evocative feat ures of her supple fram e brought fluidity to her movem ent s, the radiance of her silken skin ennobled her womanly assets. As her sm oot h brow n bobbing hair added st yle to her dem eanor, her sweet manner lent poise to her figure. Enhancing her appeal her gait was such t hat the fall of her sari acquired the rhythmic grace of the loom on which it was w eaved. With her gaiety being in harm ony with her youth, the alacrity of her mind conjugat ed with her spright ly nature m aking her gorgeous. Whereas t he effervescence of Sandhya’s ethereal beaut y was apparent at espial, the magnet ism of Roopa’s charm compelled for it s conjurat ion in int eraction. The friends becam e a great hit w it h the boys who t ried t o befriend them. How ever, whenever accost ed by a lad, Roopa t ended to t urn into a bundle of nerves. “ You m ake such a heavy w eather of the whole thing, t he poor t hings might end up being dum b,” Sandhya was wont t o t ease Roopa. ‘When I could get on w ell with boys at school, why am I ill at ease with t hem, now? But the way they look at m e make m e feel different and diffident, won’t they?’ w ondered Roopa. How ever, the searching look she espied in the male eyes t hrilled her in her vitals. As she t ried to visualize herself through their perception, her body, in her own eyes, acquired a new dim ension. The m ore she became m entally closer to the opposit e sex; all t he m ore she distanced herself from the boys. Sandhya, on the other hand, proved to be a cool cust om er known t o unnerve the dashers. While her glamour gave her a rare aura that overaw ed the boys, her father’s posit ion only confounded their confidence. Nevert heless, Chandrika, who by then was in B. Com., pre final, helped t hem in their initiat ion into t he campus life. -----When Chandrika got her degree and Roopa was through her Interm ediat e w ith flying colors, w hat with the recalcit rant Raju t oo seemed to m end his wayward ways, for the Ramaiahs it seem ed tim e flew as if it developed wings. However, proving that good t hings won’t last forever cam e the jolt as Roopa revealed t he cards that she so closely held to her chest all along. “ Do you know what it takes to be doct or?” said a surprised Ram aiah. “ Know I’ve topped the class,” she said naively. “ But sadly, we’re short of m eans,” he said helplessly. “ Naanna, I’m craving to be a doctor,” she said. “ Sorry dear, it’s impossible,” he dism issed her in despair and left in dilem ma for the Post Office ‘How I took it for grant ed!’ Roopa wondered all day; maybe when one is obsessed w ith a singular aspect of a situat ion, the at tendant issues fail to get the focus they deserve.’ When a distraught Roopa approached her m other pleading for her support, affected by her daughter’s passion, Janaki prom ised t o persuade Ramaiah. While Roopa hoped for a miracle as the condem ned would to escape the noose, how ever, on Ramaiah’s ret urn, she avoided him like the one who tends to hide him self from the one comm ended for the favor. When Ramaiah sent for her, aft er what appeared to be an et ernit y for her, she w ent up to him with her heart in her mout h. “ Now I recall that night on the t rain when you were just nine,” he said, pat ting her head as she squatt ed beside his easy chair. “ Though I was pleased with your ambition t hen, I never im agined you could be nursing it so vigorously. If not, I would’ve caut ioned you in t im e.” “ Naanna, it becam e m y obsession, I’ll be miserable ot herw ise,” she sank int o his lap. “ You know we’re lower middle-class now,” he seem ed to give an account of his helplessness. “ The lands are all gone and I’m going to retire soon. Agreed there is som e money in t he bank but it w ould barely m eet your dowries and your brother’s higher st udies. This house, of course, is for your brother lest he should curse m e for having left him nothing to inherit . As for your mother and I, the pension should see us through.” “ Why not pledge the house, I’ ll redeem it lat er,” she suggest ed with apparent hope. “ Be realistic dear, once you’re married, your earnings would be your husband’s. M ore so to m arry you off as Doctor Roopa, I’ ve to cough up much m ore for your dow ry,” reasoned Ram aiah. “ Then, I won’t marry at all,” she said with such a conviction that start led Ram aiah. “ Don’t be silly, t he essence of life lies in it s wholesom eness. You would realize lat er on, that nothing is wort h in life to the exclusion of all t he rest that m akes it what it is. Above all, m arriage is the key that opens life alike for the boys and t he girls,” he said, showing her the realit y of life. “ It ’s my sole ambit ion naanna,” she persist ed, hoping against hope. “ Ambit ion is a double-edged sw ord; possessed by t he resourceful, it ’s cut out for success and in the hands of t he lesser souls, it hurt s t heir peace of m ind,” he turned to philosophy to help her depressed soul. Then he recount ed his own disappointment ; his inability to becom e an advocat e, and advocat ed t o his daught er to learn to take life as it cam e, ordained by karma. “ If I were an advocat e, perhaps, I w ould have been rich enough to fulfill your am bition. How ever, it was not t o be, and therein lies our fate - yours and m ine as w ell,” he concluded. Roopa, though reconciled t o her situation, resent ed her fat e. As if she were revenging on her helplessness, she shunned the sciences and opted for comm erce. How ever, as per her inclinat ion, Sandhya went in for the hum anit ies. “ Are you tired of dissect ing frogs and all?” said Sandhya in jest as Roopa filled in the adm ission form . “ Like to have a closer look at the m at erial side of life,” said Roopa myst ically. “ Jokes apart, t ell m e what’s wrong. I know you want ed to st udy m edicine,” said Sandhya as they got into a rickshaw. Roopa could only manage a deep sigh for an answer. “ They say a friend is one with whom you can think aloud and you know t hat ’s what I do with you, but then it’s up to you,” said Sandhya em pathically. “ Know I love you the most and yet som ehow I wasn’t frank w ith you; but from now on, I’ll t hink aloud with you,” said Roopa earnest ly, and blurt ed out. M oved, Sandhya enlaced Roopa, w hich brought solace to the lat t er and induced w arm th in the former, making both of t hem feel loved and want ed by t he other. Chandrika, who graduat ed that year, didn’ t think in term s of post graduation as la affair Roopa gave the clue t o her father’s m ind and the family’s finances, and so, t hought of a job for an occupat ion. “ Sit st ill till w e fix a mat ch as it might improve your complexion a bit, besides, I don’t w ant any complications, that’s all,” Janaki was dismissive. When Chandrika persist ed, Ram aiah, however, relent ed, and persuaded his wife, “ You’ ve to change w ith the changing tim es. M oreover, som e boys have st arted preferring employed girls for their brides.” Aft er a couple of unsuccessful at tem pt s, Chandrika got an assist ant’s job in an export firm for a salary of t wo-fift y. Her first take-home pay, however, enabled her m other t o appreciat e the virt ue of having another earning member in t he fam ily. ------Hardly a year passed before t he ‘changing t im es’ st ared t he Ram aiahs in their faces in t heir complexity as ‘the other earning m em ber’ of the family turned out to be an errant soul of the household. Chandrika declared that she would like t o marry her colleague, though of a low er cast e, and Janaki threat ened t o jump into t he well to spare herself, the sham e of her daughter’s alliance. Ram aiah t hough tried t o reason it out w ith Chandrika by saying that if she m arried out of caste, none w ould marry Roopa. Besides, it won’t be in her own int erest either, to live with som eone from a low er cast e as adjust ing to married life in an alien m ilieu w ill be all the more difficult . When the tim e com es for finding m at ches for her children, shunned by both t he comm unities, she would realize that she had a cross t o bear. Bett er she gave up the idea, for her own good. Given her own disappointm ent , Roopa was empat hic to her sist er’s feelings and felt t hat she could underst and the t rue im port of Chandrika’s predicam ent. “ What t o do now ?” said Roopa t o Chandrika having led her out into the backyard. “ I wish I w eren’t in love,” said Chandrika stoically. “ That’ s neither here nor there for you’ve to act one way or the other,” Roopa was solicit ous. “ I may perish like the Buridan’s ass, unable t o decide w het her to first drink wat er or eat oat s,” Chandrika was m elancholic. “ Then why not t ry and forget him ?” said Roopa. “ Tim e would do that for both of us but life w ithout him is not what I want ,” said Chandrika. Roopa kept quiet as though invit ing her sist er t o give vent t o her feelings. “ I’m being pulled apart by the family sent im ent on one side and the lure of love on t he other; love seem s to be t he m ost compelling of human em otions as it combines in it t he craving of the soul and t he desires of the body,” said Chandrika m elancholically. “ Oh, how you’ re hurt !” said Roopa sym pathet ically. “ I don’t mind hurting myself but I’m worried about him and concerned about our mother. M oreover, how can I comprom ise your marriage prospect s? That’ s m y dilemm a,” said Chandrika deject edly. That her sist er should think about her welfare, even in her predicam ent , m elted Roopa’s heart. ‘If only I could help her love, what if, I marry out of turn t o clear the hurdle?’ t hought Roopa. She felt she knew her parent s w ell enough. They w ere convent ional m ore for the societ y’ s sake than out of personal conviction. Besides, t hey loved their children dearly. She was confident that all would welcom e her idea. The prospect of her averting an im m inent schism in t he family appeared heroic to her. ‘How nice it can be,’ she thought excit edly, ‘ if my sacrifice serves m y sist er’s cause besides solving my parent s’ problem .’ Though she was pleased t o perceive herself in the role of a mart yr for the family cause, how ever, on second thought s, she cont emplat ed the implications of her m arriage w ithout a degree as she was just t hrough the first year of what appeared to be a threeyear ordeal. ‘How I nursed the dream of being a doct or,’ she t hought melancholically. ‘Haven’t I com e to love m yself in that role? Now that the bubble has burst , I couldn’t care less. Hasn’t life becom e hum drum, anyway?’ As she recalled her ow n disappointment , she rem embered her father’s w ords - your earnings would be your husband’s – and saw a ray of hope in the sit uat ion. ‘What if m y husband helps m y ambition to further t he fam ily incom e?’ she thought hopefully. ‘Who know s I may as well get an understanding husband. What a happy life I w ould lead t hen! Won’t I love him even m ore for that? Let m e take a chance and see w hat lies in store for m e. Anyway, I’ ve nothing to lose, do I?’ It seem s t he feature of life that w hile darkness deprives man of his shadow; his hope lingers on in spit e of the foreboding. As Chandrika w ept inconsolably, it seem ed Roopa’s fear of t he unknown was washed away in her sist er’s tears. Thus having made up her m ind, Roopa unveiled the contours of her plan of act ion, how ever, hiding the hope behind her apparent sacrifice and that about had the sam e effect on Chandrika, as sighting a boat in t he high seas would have on a shipwreck; it raised her spirit s. While Chandrika was profuse in art iculat ing her gratitude, and as if t o convey her indebt edness bodily as well, she hugged her sist er, Roopa felt em barrassed as her own st reak of selfish m ot ive jarred w it h the purity of her sist er’s out pouring. It seem s the att ribut es our hypocrisy induces others t o adduce to us would bring no value addit ion t o our ow n conscience. How ever, as the sist ers w ere confabulating without, Ramaiah had a tough t im e with his bit t er half w ithin. “ What w ent wrong w ith her brought -up? Nothing like this ever happened to anyone, even remot ely relat ed t o us!” Janaki said puzzled. “ You know, wom en of the upper cast es were insulat ed from m en of the low er classes earlier,” he tried to explain the situation to her. “ Social int ercourse bet w een cast e groups was limit ed to the persons of the sam e sex. But all that has changed now. The societ y is t ruly open to bot h sexes from all sect ions. The pull of man wom an at t ract ion being what it is love has long since crossed the cast e barrier causing marital t respasses. How ever, don’t get worried. For all that , her passion could be a passing phase, that can’t get past the first hurdle.” Janaki prayed fervently for her daught er’s deliverance from that wretched affair. Just t he same, when Roopa show ed the silver lining, Ram aiah rem ained unenthusiast ic. “ Inter-cast e marriages would only lead to divorce as the couples t end t o w ind up the show at t he first hit ch; even otherwise, the inferior union would be ruinous in t he end as they would be ost racized by the society for sure,” he articulat ed. ‘Though upper cast e m en would have no qualm s having a fling w ith low cast e w om en, they seek to shield their wom en from t he m en of that very stock,’ t hought Chandrika, but said, “ I’m prepared for any eventuality.” “ Aft er all, it’s her life; why not let her decide for herself?” said Raju, who was part icularly fond of Chandrika and Roopa. “ Don’t oversim plify matt ers. What are the parent s for if not to prevent their children’s follies?” retort ed Ramaiah. “ You say everything in life is ordained by karma, so why not take this as her dest iny?” int erject ed Roopa. Ramaiah didn’t respond but remained unrelent ing. The sist ers pressed t he issue, and w ent on a hunger st rike. The mother’s heart m elt ed soon enough, and the father’s resolve dissolved, in due course. It was thus, Ramaiah want ed to have ‘a look at the fellow’ and see for him self, ‘What he’s w orth?’ Soon t he word went around that Ramaiah was on the lookout for a suitable boy for Roopa. Chapter 3 Hapless Hope It was a t wo-st oried building in a by-lane of Chikkadapally, a rat her congest ed localit y in Hyderabad. It s owner, Padm avathi, was a widow in her early fifties. She let out much of the space to bachelors ‘t o augm ent her pension’ as she was wont t o maintain. “ Being elsewhere all the while, bachelors are a bet t er bet for they cause much little w ear and tear,” she would aver. Her t enant s, for their part, show ed an unmistakable preference for her dwelling. With both her daught ers m arried off, and with no one at hom e, she rarely left the reclining chair in the portico. “ The rent includes wat ch and ward for t he lady doubles up for a wat chdog,” the lodgers joked am ongst them selves. And for her part , Padmavathi m ade it clear to them all that she would suffer none of any nonsense. Though she used t o aver that all boys were equally dear to her, she was part ial t owards Sathyam, her t enant for w ell over six years. While believing that Sathyam was sincere by nat ure she felt that ot hers w ere only behaving not to risk eviction. Having been held up at his desk in the Sat e Secret ariat that evening, Sat hyam was late in com ing to his lodging. Not finding Padmavathi in t he portico, he was a lit tle surprised. As he went up, he found an inland lett er in the door lat ch. Realizing that it w as from his fat her, he hast ened into his room , and even as he start ed reading it again, he heard footst eps on the stairs. ‘Oh, she’s com ing up; how she craves for new s and gathers it as a rag picker would collect rubbish from all corners!’ he thought indignant ly. “ What w rit es Pat hrudu garu?” she said pant ing slightly. “ Usual stuff; w e’ re Ok, are you Ok?” he replied dryly. “ It ’s tim e you got married,” she said zeroing on the subject mat ter of his fat her’s lett er, as if on cue. “ He says there’s a mat ch,” he replied reflexively. “ One should get married when st ill young,” she said, and added as though t o just ify her plain features. “ But do rem ember the old adage; a lovely w ife brings in anxiety for she att ract s all and sundry.” Having given him a bit of her mind, as she left abruptly, as t hough she were already late for airing t he news, Sat hyam read the appet izing portion of his fat her’s lett er once again: ‘We all feel there is a suitable m at ch for you. The girl is Ramaiah garu’s youngest daughter. He works at t he Head Post Office here, and is m y friend’s colleague. We are all im pressed with t heir fam ily and our ast rologer says both your horoscopes mat ch t o the t ee. M oreover, the girl is very beaut iful. If you like her, I would be done w it h my dut y. Aft er all, it’ s t ime you got m arried. Take leave for a w eek and com e as early as you can. Your mother want s you t o spend some t im e with us.’ “ M oreover, the girl is very beautiful,” he read aloud; and repeat ed again, as an encore to his ears. He was always particular that his w ife should be a beauty; and made that clear to his parent s. Inst inctively he rem embered Vani, his erst while colleague, and his t hought s turned to her. He always wondered whether beaut y and grace w ere at competition in her persona. How he used to daydream about marrying her! However, his desire t o cut a figure only made him diffident in her presence. M oreover, his anxiet y t o impress her w ith his wit made him only dumb in her audience. While nursing his calf love, he used to w onder about her reciprocit y. As though appreciating his fear of rejection, his eyes felt shy t o convey his desire w hile his lips failed to address his love. ‘An arranged m arriage brings t he wom an into man’s life on his t erm s, which gives a head start to the m arital romance, giving a short shrift to the uncertain court ship,’ he t hought present ly. He w ondered whether this girl - he was disappoint ed that his father failed to m ent ion her nam e - could be as beaut iful as Vani. How ever, he couldn’t help wishing t hat she might be bett er looking. ‘Aft er all, it’ s t he woman’s desirability that makes m an covetous, m oreover, the allurem ent of woman’s beaut y gives meaning to man’s life, and provides substance as w ell. A m an’s job is half done if he has a cut e w ife for she doubles up, as a beaut iful mother to ensure the children w ouldn’t be ugly,’ he thought. Propelled by that welcom e prospect , Sathyam boarded t he t rain in beat itude the very next day. ------Pathrudu’ s m essage that they w ould be coming for t he pellichupulu that Sunday set t he ball rolling at Ramaiah’s house. As the day of reckoning dawned with hope in both t he households, Roopa becam e t he center of attention in her hom e, and t he subject of discussion at Pathrudu’s place. Janaki insist ed that Roopa oil-skinned before her bath, and left her only after having sham pooed her hair with som e soapnut wat er. Sandhya how ever, descended on t he scene when Roopa was st ill in the bat hroom . After her bath, as Roopa want ed t o com e out, she found herself bolted from without. Readily realizing t hat Sandhya was playing pranks on her, Roopa began to fret and fume from within. At length, Sandhya removed the lat ch and rushed int o Roopa’s room only t o leave her mat e st randed in her pet t icoat. However, it was only after Roopa’s desperat e ent reaties t hat Sandhya let her in, and as though for recom pense took her into a palliative em brace. “ Soon your PC would’ve a feast for his eyes,” said Sandhya admiring Roopa’s asset s. “ That is if you keep m e without m y sari,” said Roopa t rying to loosen herself from Sandhya’ s grip. Debate ensued, w ith Janaki too joining in, regarding the ‘ sari for t he occasion’ for Roopa, and finally the consensus em erged in favor of the chocolate silk with a snuff border. Aft er the lunch, as t he countdow n st art ed, Janaki was at preparing a garland of jasm ines to adorn Roopa’s plait as Sandhya t oiled to tam e her friend’s luxuriant hair. Such was it s profusion that Sandhya’s delicate fingers seem ed overwhelm ed. “ A hair like this is sure t o ensnare any soul,” whispered Sandhya to Roopa. “ If my hair has substance, your bob has st yle,” said Roopa looking back at Sandhya endearingly. “ She would be really lucky if they agree,” Janaki int errupted their m irth. “ Doesn’t she sound like a st uck up gramophone?” said Roopa in jest . “ Get ting a girl m arried is no joke these days; he’s their only son and they’re propert ied too. His parent s are hale and healt hy, not needing their daught er-in-law’s nursing. M oreover, the boy is in t he governm ent service, so he w on’t be hard up for cash w ith people lining up t o line his pocket ; one can be sure about that,” Janaki addressed Sandhya. “ Bribe m oney is bad mumm y, know that from m e,” said Roopa m ockingly. “ How can it be so when it ’s t he norm , anyway, as it ’s a man’s affair, why should w oman poke her nose into it?” Janaki sounded dismissive. “ If man get s t he boot , it pinches his w ife’ s leg, mummy,” Roopa prot ested m im icking. “ M oreover, his fat her has five years of service left,” Janaki resum ed the resum e, “ and t he boy is just t w enty-eight. From w hat we’ ve heard, he has no vices, to name any. He’s neit her the club going sort , nor the card playing type. He know s how to count his not es and keep them clean. Well, a disciplined bringing up one may say. Any girl should find him a safe bet to say t he least. We’re lucky t o com e across such a mat ch these days w hen everyone is going head over heels to go ast ray.” Seeing Roopa unm oved, Sandhya t hought t hat the bride was not half as excited as her mother, and felt , ‘She has always been like t hat , would think of crossing the bridge only when she com es to it.’ When Chandrika joined them, aft er toying w it h som e special preparations in the kit chen, Janaki said, “ Hasn’t she brought all this about, t hough by default? M aybe, everything is for our good only, as the saying goes. I’ve been praying that she could make the best out of a bad bargain.” “ Don’t worry about m e,” said Chandrika dryly, used as she was to her m other’s deprecation of her condition. Everything was in position by the t im e the guest s w ere expect ed that evening. Nevert heless, Chandrika and Sandhya w ere barred from Sathyam ’s sight lest t hey should dist ract his at tention from Roopa. How ever, they might sat isfy their curiosit y by peeping t hrough the window as and when t he party arrived. And Pathrudu did t roop in with his part y at the appoint ed tim e. Aft er m aking them seated in t he hall, Roopa was ushered in im m ediat ely to beat the im pending durm uhurt ham . As she squat t ed on t he mat, Roopa stole a glimpse of Sathyam only to place her eyelids on guard for the rest of t he rendezvous. On the other hand, Sat hyam couldn’t take his eyes off Roopa for he found her out of the world. Besides, the very thought that she could be his wife whet ted his appet ite. He found her exceedingly charm ing even w ith her head dropped and eyelids drooped. Savoring her beaut y, he noticed the plain gold st ud on her shapely nose. He felt a diamond would make her resplendent and thought of present ing her one during their first night . “ Silence isn’t always golden, so you may talk to her,” said Ram aiah int errupting Sathyam’s daydream ing. “ Why em barrass her,” fum bled Sat hyam . Then Ramaiah engaged Sat hyam in conversat ion about his work and t im es, apparently for Roopa’s ears. How ever, as Sathyam bet rayed his uncouthness and paraded his m ediocrit y as though to supplem ent his ungainly look, Roopa was t ruly put off. M eanwhile Durgam ma, Sathyam’s mother, m oved closer t o Roopa ost ensibly to converse, however with the int ent of feeling her legs for possible abnorm ality. “ What do you do in the spare tim e?” Ramaiah continued his interview, unmindful of Roopa’s apparent disint erest in that. “ I make my m eal,” Sathyam said and inst inct ively looked at Roopa. Not icing that she t ried t o suppress her sm ile, he felt embarrassed, and Ram aiah t hought if fit to end his ordeal. As Pat hrudu and part y left aft er a while, prom ising to get back soon, Janaki start ed her monologue again, if anyt hing, with great er conviction. How ever, the rest mobbed Roopa for her reaction. “ He’s not for m e,” said Roopa shocking her m ot her. “ Have you gone mad or what ! What’ s w rong with him? He’s w ell-built and is not ill shaped either,” Janaki nearly shouted at Roopa. “ Why place t he cart before the horse? Even if they like her, it all depends on the dow ry t hey dem and,” said Ram aiah to preem pt frayed t empers. Stung by her mother’s react ion, Roopa ret reated into her room as Sandhya followed her to confabulate. “ If you w ere m e, would you marry him ?” Roopa asked Sandhya. “ I haven’t seen him that way,” said Sandhya, a litt le surprised. “ And t hat means, you aren’t impressed eit her,” said Roopa. While Sandhya kept m um , Janaki cribbed all along. Roopa for her part prayed that Pathrudu would ask the m oon for a dowry, and kept her fingers crossed. -----“ They Okayed Roopa, w ithout dowry at t hat ,” said Ramaiah, as he cam e hom e the next evening, as though solicit ing a ‘yes’ from Roopa. “ Roopa, think again, one shouldn’ t shun fortune when it beckons on it s own,” pleaded Janaki. “ Why not look for another m at ch?” said Roopa sounding pleading. “ But why reject t his one,” Ramaiah seem ed persuasive. “ I’ve nothing against him but I’m not enthused either,” said Roopa dryly. “ Don’t be hast y, think again. We all feel it’s a fine mat ch, and you know that w e wish you w ell,” pleaded Janaki. “ No, he’s not m y man,” said Roopa wishing t hat they spared her. “ M aybe, he’s a sim plet on, but do realize that he’s young and has a long way to go,” said Ram aiah, who seem ed to have read his daughter’s mind. ‘If som et hing isn’t presentable at it s ninety per cent, it w ouldn’t be much different either at cent per cent ,’ thought Roopa but to buy time she said, “ Give me som e tim e to t hink.” How ever, after dinner, Ramaiah w ent up t o a brooding Roopa in t he verandah. “ If you’re not interest ed in this m at ch, so be it, but if I don’t show you life as I’ve seen it , I might be failing you,” he said in all earnestness. “ M at rimony is a vague hope nursed by the young m inds. If marriages are made in heaven, I’m sure the gods would take the realities of life into account . In marriage, it’s only after consumm at ion t hat couples com e t o appreciat e the true m eaning of m arried life. In spit e of it s infinit e possibilities, life has it s own lim itat ions. As you would realize, most ly it is situational in it s reach and breach. As one incident doesn’t encompass life, ardency is not t he only opport unit y that marriage affords wom en. As you could guess, mat ernit y is gift-w rapped by heaven for married wom en. M arriage is so much m ore t han a privat e affair of the spouses. Know it ’s an ext ension of the family that ushers in a new fam ily. Grat ificat ion in marriage is m ult ifacet ed as w ell as m ulti-sourced, like the success of a child can oblit erat e a lifetim e of parental failures. Believe m e; a couple could feel t hat their life was w orth living just for the sake of that m om ent . In the good old days, alliances w ere st ruck based on parental preferences. One might even say prejudices. Inclinations of the children didn’t count; when m arried, they were t oo young t o have a mind of their own anyway. I know tim es have changed, and I’m not holding a brief for the bygone era any more. However, I guess neither the new waves have washed any wisdom ashore. The doors of opport unit ies in today’s world have led to t he advent of t he salaried classes, wit h t he at tendant disparit y in incomes. Social stat us seem s t o have shift ed it s focus onto the white collared. This insensibly upset t he m arriage order of yore, am ongst t he families of the comm unes. These days every m aiden seem s to feel that her wedlock is not secure unless engineered by an engineer! Parent s t oo have com e t o equat e t heir daughters’ securit y with the sons-in-law’s bank balances. Every bachelor, forget about his ow n eligibilit y, has com e to imagine that the bridal w orld is at his feet , to be kicked at his w ill. An Alanaskar Syndrome so to say! Well, in his unceasing search for som eone bett er, even t he prett y ones fail to get his nod t ill t he law of diminishing returns cat ches him up by t he scruff. Then with his eligibilit y on the wane and despondency on the raise, he lands up w it h a languid dam e for all the spright ly in t he race would have m arried by then. Of lat e, boys and girls are gett ing married past t heir prim e, they being victim s of the com pulsions of their own making,’ he paused for her reaction. And finding her at t entive, he cont inued, “ All said and done, nature seem s to have loaded the dice against the maidens. One may like it or not, t hey are the perishable fruit s of the marriage market to be disposed off w ell before t hey t end to rot. Even ot herwise, it does oft en happen that a m aiden w ould shun a Gog in t ime, only to opt for a M agog, past her prime, wast ing her tim e in t he m eant im e. In the final analysis, shorn of t heir shirts, all m en are ordinary, save the ext raordinary. M oreover, the odds against spot ting the right man remain the same even if chance w ere to bring him to your doorst ep as a prospect ive groom. Ignoring t hese realities can land one in the desert s of life, chasing t he m irages of hope, of course unt il t here is hope. If cult ural prejudices produced child w idow s those days, social aberrations lead to t he proliferat ion of spinst ers these days. When m aidens cross t heir m idt went ies, they find t o their consternat ion that m en whom nature m eant for them by the logic of natural selection, were indeed bending towards t he younger ones, t ending them t o fend for t hem selves as singles.” Ramaiah paused for Roopa’s response and seeing receptivit y in her demeanor, he resum ed, “ M oreover, there is another angle t o marriage; it is fallacious that parents wish idle com fort for their daught ers, in their m arried life,” he seem ed t o philosophize. “ I w ould rather prefer that you lend your husband a helping hand to build the st ructure of your married hom e, brick by brick, hand in hand. In that lies a w oman’s true fulfillm ent in marriage. The boys have proved to be no wiser either, failing to appreciate t he joys of sharing the t oils as just m arried. It’s a pit y groom s should think in t erm s of furnishing t heir bachelor dw ellings as if their brides are t he paying guest s.” Carried away by his own rhetoric, he reached out to her t o help her enlarge her vision thus: “ Weddings have com e to sym bolize t he vanit y of the society. Designations of the groom s, conveyed in conversation and carried on t he w edding cards, have becom e the new nom enclature of alliances. It’ s as if business firm s get free mileage when bachelors on their rolls get married! Who says there are no free lunches? The status of the fathers-in-law t oo is brought upfront as though to suggest that no prot ocol was breached. Alas, marriages are being turned int o public melas from the fam ily functions t hey used to be! I know you can appreciat e t hat pom p and pageant ry may adorn a w edding but it’s the warm th and love that sustain t he marriage.” Realizing that he reached t he threshold, he paused for a while before he crossed it for her sake by averring, “ As for m arried love, know it’s the m an who overwhelm s his mat e,” he forced him self t o t ell her, “ and nature in it s w isdom induces w om an t o get drawn to the man w ho deflow ers her. You couldn’t have failed to not ice int elligent wom en adoring their m ediocre husbands. You m ust also realize that happiness is not an accom panying baggage of m arriage; couples have to m ould it wit h insight and im agination. If anyt hing, t he woman has to put in t he great er effort , but t he rewards could signify t he specialt y of her life. Try to understand what I’ve said so that you can see life in it s proper perspect ive.” When he concluded the brainwash, Roopa was mystified by his rhetoric, but aft er he had left her, she t ried to w eigh his words against her own inclinations. Her innat e urge, accentuat ed by the male at tention she received, brought her fem ininity to the fore. The at t ract ions she experienced and the fantasies she entertained shaped a male im agery t hat ensconced her subconscious. Her envision of a he-man ennobled her self-perception as a female. Insensibly, confident carriage came to be associat ed w it h t he image of m aleness in her mind-set . Her acut e consciousness of masculinit y only increased her vulnerabilit y t o it , m aking her w omanliness crave for the maleness for its gratification. That persona she envisioned as m asculine, she found lacking in Sathyam . How ever, though she felt that m uch of her father’ s expansive exposit ion was sensible, as her heart rem ained st eadfast to her dream m an, she developed second t hought s. In her predicam ent , she recalled t hat Dam ayant hi had reasoned that m arriage w ould uproot a woman from her dream s to t ransplant her in her m an’s life. Thereaft er, w oman’s marital fulfillment could induce a life force in her, enabling her t o develop new root s in her in-law’s environs. Soon as she w ould lose mobility, and with it her contact s w ith t he past cease, so, Damayanthi m aintained, that friendship betw een maidens was a mist that marriage would evaporat e. In the end, Roopa thought of seeking Damayanthi’s advice but feeling constrained to confide in her, she found herself closet ed w ith Sandhya. “ If I w ere a m an, maybe you wouldn’t have had t his problem,” said Sandhya in jest, “ If you’re m arried, I w ould’ve becom e your co-w ife,” said Roopa jokingly, even in her st at e of confusion. “ God save t hat poor guy,” laughed Sandhya. “ Why poor for he would be doubly blessed?” said Roopa in jest , and was enam ored by the idea of their love triangle. However, having com e to the realit y of life readily, she sighed and added, “ Well, it ’s neither here nor there. Tell m e w hat I am to do now.” “ As you know, my mot her says that love is a product of t he married mind,” said Sandhya as though parrot ing her mother’s wisdom, “ while romance is the ent erprise of t he spirited heart . Since we find our mothers in love with our fathers, w e m ay as well follow suit , and end up being fond of our spouses. I know you’re rom ant ic by nature, but you should realize that for the best part, life is humdrum by circum stance. Perhaps, it all boils down t o this; where your rom ance with life should end and the appreciation of it s realit y begin. It’s for you to draw your own line.” “ M aybe, I am romanticizing life, but he’s t oo insipid t o inspire; looks like m y expectat ions from life are out of tune w it h the realities of m y fat e,” said Roopa feeling helpless. “ Check up if you’re holding the mirror of fantasies t o t he realities of life,” said Sandhya, leaning on Roopa affectionately. “ I’m sure you t oo wouldn’ t have seen him any different ly. But as my well-wishers feel t hat the m at ch is good, maybe I should mat ch m y m ood as w ell,” said Roopa resignedly. “ Compromise is the cornerst one of life, isn’t it?” said Sandhya in all empathy. “ Looks like it’s the millst one of my life, I wish I had your disposition of life, to be happy,” mut t ered Roopa bit t erly. “ Don’t you worry; I will share every burden of your life to ease your life, all your life. This is a promise I m ean to keep, all m y life. Why, haven’t w e vow ed to disprove m y mother’s theory about the brevit y of fem ale friendship?” said Sandhya, taking Roopa’s hand “ Oh, Sandhya,” cried Roopa hugging her friend. “ Believe m e Roopa, upon the tears of our friendship,” said Sandhya, solacing her soul mat e. “ Now I need your friendship m ore than ever, with an uninspiring husband in the offing, you’ re t he only hope of m y life. It seem s t he first throw of t he dice showed up for our vow . I hope our dest iny ensures that your man would empathize with our camaraderie,” said Roopa contemplat ively. When Sandhya want ed to respond, Roopa closed her lips with her hand as though she want ed to hear nothing t o the cont rary. -----For the impending w edding of Sat hyam and Roopa, the concerned clans soon clust ered in their respective homes. Her sist ers’ satisfying remarks about the alliance and her brot hers-in-law’ s flat t ering compliments about t he groom further increased Roopa’s self-doubts. ‘Am I being overcrit ical,’ she t hought . ‘Aft er all, everyone feels he’s fine.’ On the other hand, Sathyam ’s relat ives, in t heir hordes, who came to grace the occasion, gossiped in groups. “ Som ething must be amiss with this m iss,” guessed a relative whom nature cursed w ith a cynical mind as well as a caustic t ongue. “ One could see love is t hick in the air t hese days, as girls are falling head over heels for boys on the cam puses. Thanks t o the influence of the m ovies, m ost of the girls have st art ed saying yes t o prem arital sex w ithout a care. It ’s said that doctors are doing a brisk business at t he abort ion clinics. But , t he t ruly wise catch the gullible guys for sons-in-law before their errant daught ers show up the symptom s, and when t he chips are down, the past is passed off as a prem ature issue.” M aybe, he would have cont inued to enlight en his t hird cousin about t he sleaze in the cit ies, if not for the summons t he lat t er received from his bet t er half. How ever, sensing an unintended scandal in t he m aking, Pathrudu’s fam ily huddled up to devise a counter before it got out of cont rol. ‘We liked the girl, and want ed the m arriage hastened. Aft er all, Sathyam’s healt h was suffering thanks to t he hot el food and all,’ was the new s that w as put into circulation. As the corrigenda carried conviction, the conjecture collapsed. A couple of Sat hyam ’ s friends and few of his colleagues made it to the m arriage, ‘in spit e of their busy schedules’ as Sathyam ’s mother bragged, and one of his friends who had managed to see Roopa, announced at t he stag part y that evening, “ Sathyam is going t o have a wife of our dream s.” “ I wish I had a wit like yours,” said Sat hyam pleased. “ Why forget Ram u, I’ve never thought he would fail to t urn up,” said another. “ How I miss him but as luck would have it, his sist er’s marriage coincided,” said Sathyam. That summ er night, the kalyana mandapam was t ruly lit up. Even as they w elcom ed t he guest s, Chandrika and Sandhya, who st ood at the ent rance, perfused them with rose-w at er. Wom en, of all ages and sizes, in their colorful silk saris, dust ed for the occasion, w ere seen flut t ering as if to at t ract at t ention of those gathered. Som e m en in t he t raditional dhot hi , worn for t he occasion, w ere found rooted to their seat s for t hey w ere keen not t o be seen ungainly for want of habit . Conventional film songs orchest rat ed for the occasion rent the air, enlivening t he gathering. As boys ogled at t hem , some maidens were seen put ting on airs, and let loose by their gossiping parent s, all the brat s had a feast of a tim e. Soon, Chandrika and Sandhya w ere on t he dais behind Roopa in her madhuparkam , t o raise her plait as Sat hyam t ied the nupt ial knot. When t he ordained mom ent arrived, Roopa bent her head to enable Sat hyam do the needful. “ It ’s the only t im e w hen woman bow s to her husband t o enable him to tie the knot. Aft erw ards, she w ould raise her head, only to see that he does not raise his again. She could be count ed upon to ensure the hands t hat tied the nuptial knot are forever t ied to her apron strings,” surmised Pedda Purnaiah garu , the octogenarian alm anac man. The m arriage hall reverberat ed to peals of laughter t hat t he stat em ent induced. Soon t hough, t he guest s left after congratulat ing the couple, leaving the relatives t o hang around for a litt le longer, till they could find a corner t o lie down. How ever, the just married w ere awake a long w hile t o go through the assort ed rituals. Chapter 4 Turn at the Tether It was the night t hat Sat hyam await ed in elat ion and Roopa approached with t repidation. “ Guess what I’ve got for you,” he said, reaching his bride reclining on the bedecked bed. Bogged down wit h her own agenda, she wasn’ t enthused to respond even though he repeat ed him self, and he t ried to rationalize her indifference, ‘M aybe, she could be bridal-shy.’ Nevertheless, pressing closer t o her, he persist ed, “ I’ll grant you three chances.” How many tim es did he visualize, over the fortnight, the scene of their guessing gam e - a perplexed Roopa fudging, and he goading her to t ry again, and again! In his im aginat ion, how charming Roopa was in her exasperat ion! He seem ed disappointed w ith the realit y his bride present ed him inst ead. Unable to break the barrier of her sullenness at the t hreshold of their nuptial bed, he gave up in the end, and said inst ead, “ Close your eyes.” Downcast as her eyes w ere, any way, it took her no effort to oblige her husband. Then w it h one hand he took her hand and with the other he reached for the packet in his shirt pocket. As his touch sent waves of expect at ion all over her fram e, she seem ed t o enjoy the resultant sensat ion. Having failed to respond whenever he laid hands on her during t he cerem onies of the previous night, she was surprised at that st range feeling she was experiencing, and as her reservat ions about him seem ed to dissolve in her anticipation, she found herself at ease. When he wit hdrew his hand from hers t o unpack the diamond nose-st ud, he so fondly acquired for her, with eyes st ill closed, as her body missed his t ouch, her mind w ent into conjecture. Aft er w hat appeared to be an et ernity for her, he took her hand again, sharpening the sensat ion and enhancing her expectation. “ Open your eyes,” he said soft ly. “ Swit ch off t he light ,” she said coyly. “ How can you see then?” he said perplexed. “ I can st ill feel it ,” she said myst ically. As her romantic anticipation m ade her indulge in blissful guessing about the gift of his love, she felt vulnerable and expected him to overwhelm her. “ I thought of it t he mom ent I’d seen you,” he said w ithout st irring from his posit ion, He sounded joyously t rium phant to his indulgently receptive bride. Im agining her inst inctive response t o his expected outrage, Roopa waited in anticipation. How ever, as Sathyam made no move in his preoccupation with unscrew ing the nose-st ud, she seem ed puzzled and opened her eyes at lengt h. As she found him fidgeting with the nose-st ud, she felt t hat she was only flatt ered to be deceived. “ Believe m e; I was not sure whether you would m arry an office assistant like m e w hen m anagers would have queued up for your hand. I was a nervous w reck by the t im e your father cam e to convey your consent . When he said ‘yes’, I jumped for joy,” he said as if he had yet to reconcile him self to his good fortune His sincere outpouring, coupled w ith his meek post uring, only helped dwarf his persona in her est eem shaped by the imagery of male élan. As he looked pygm ean in her perception then, she felt as t hough she was rudely shaken from her daydream. All t he reservations her intuit ion envisaged about him earlier t hat she recant ed in her stat e of amorous anticipation seem ed t o return to the fore with renewed vigor. The im plied com pliment in his confounded stat e failed t o flatt er her, for it lacked fort hright ness. What was worse, she const rued his adoration as an admission of subjugation. All said and done, it was a let -down she wasn’t prepared for. “ How do you like it?” he said handing it over to her. “ It ’s very nice,” she said sincerely though unexcited. Her simple gest ure t hrilled him no end, as it was his first experience with a woman. As he narrat ed in detail all t he trouble he took to acquire it, being bored, she st opped list ening. Preoccupied as he was with his own sent im ent, he failed to not ice the jadedness his present left on her sensit ivity, as tw irling t he thing, she felt as if she were slight ed by it. That it should have obsessed him so much, at a t ime w hen she was available for his possession hurt her sensualit y. ‘If only he’ s passionat e, I wouldn’t be holding t his cold thing,’ she thought deject edly, and felt as t hough t he diam ond edges of t hat nose-st ud cruelly clipped the sprout ing romantic w ings her heart start ed airing by then. “ Let m e see how it goes w it h you,” he said eagerly as he was impatient to espy her glamour adorned by his present. “ I always knew it would suit you,” he said with a relish, as she obliged him becom ingly. “ You know, I w ent from shop to shop for it,” he said thrilled. ‘What’s this god-dam n obsession with an inane thing’ she felt irrit ated, and the very t hought of life in the offing with him depressed her no end. She even developed second t hought s about broaching her passion t o study medicine. ‘But won’t life be dull idling at hom e that too being his wife? But who know s, he might as well oblige. And if he does, w on’t I end up loving him out of gratitude. Anyway, I’ve nothing m ore to lose now,’ she reasoned in the end. “ I wanted to ask you…” she said. “ I assure you; you’re the first woman in m y life,” he said int errupting her, and felt pleased for assuaging her perceived doubt s about his own virginit y. ‘Hardly surprising,’ she thought derisively only t o end up feeling it was a sort of consolation. Thereby, w ithout much ado, she revealed her ambit ion with anim ation, and appealed ent icingly, “ I know you love m e enough to help me out,” she said in a manner that w omen can craft to win over men. Though he sensed her passion, he was taken aback by her proposition. “ It ’s impossible as well as im practical,” he said in all helplessness. “ Where there’s a will there’s a way,” she said coyly. “ But not in this case,” he said nonplussed. “ It all depends on how m uch you love m e,” she said by way of an em otional blackmail, “ It ’s not about any lack of love, I love you with all m y heart , but I’ve t o contend with m y dad, who doesn’t believe in w oman’s graduation. Didn’t he make it clear to your father t hat you shouldn’t press w ith your B. Com any furt her? And now you want to st udy m edicine! He would shout us down and there’s no way w e can bring him around,” he prot est ed spirit edly. His revelation com pleted her hum iliat ion that dragged him along to the dept hs of degradation in her est eem . She felt deceived by her fat her as well for not let ting her get a wind of the old m an’ s whim. ‘But then, how could he have guessed m y gam e plan as I never revealed it to him ,’ she thought in sympathy. Thus, the empathy she helped generate in her despondent heart for her fat her made her view her husband even m ore unsympathetically, and he felt that she would get over her disappointm ent by and by. When he took her int o his arm s to cajole her, her sense of obligation made her surrender to his advances, and soon enough, w it h the bed-lam p for a witness, nature t ook over t o facilitat e their conjugal union. However, while his t enderness in foreplay was perceived as tim idit y by her passionat e heart , his eagerness t o possess her in the end seem ed bestiality t o her uninvolved mind. Sadly for him , she perceived his passion in their coit ion as force on her form and his fulfillment as a proof of his selfishness. So with a feeling of being used, lying in her nuptial bed beside him w it h closed eyes, as though t o further filt er t he dim light , she folded her hand over her forehead, and as it t ouched his present, she t hought it was as cold as her heart. ‘It would forever symbolize m y nadir,’ she thought in despair. Finding her pert urbed, he didn’ t venture again, and thus left to herself she was st ruck by the cont rast bet w een the hope the w edding night held for her and the reality int o w hich the nupt ial night pushed her before sleep overpow ered her w eary self as if to save her soul from the exhaustion of thought . -----M id-day t he next day, when Sandhya came to see Roopa, she saw her lay morose in her bed. By then, finding her t ruant to their taunts, her sist ers, one by one, took to t heir heels. “ Got him right?” Sandhya cooed in Roopa’s ear. “ Well he’s a man,” Roopa sm iled w ryly, holding Sandhya’s hand. “ You look fabulous,” said Sandhya t o cheer her up. “ How I w ish you w ere a m an,” said Roopa holding Sandhya’ s hand. ‘You would’ve been m y w oman then, but what a lovely present from him !” said Sandhya squeezing Roopa’s nose. As Sandhya’ s com plim ent symbolized the proverbial rope in the house of the hanged, Roopa could contain herself no more. She was in tears. “ Don’t tell m e that som et hing is w rong,” said Sandhya w iping Roopa’s tears. “ Oh, I’m doom ed Sandhya, he’ s a silly guy,” said Roopa hugging Sandhya. “ Calm down dear, he m ight improve,” said Sandhya, com fortingly sinking into Roopa’s endearing em brace. While t he thrill of her mate’s int im acy st ruck Roopa’s flust ered m ind, as t he charm of t heir proximity capt ivat ed Sandhya’ s empathic heart , she t oo enlaced her friend, making t heir em brace all the more intense. When Roopa found herself pressing closer for selfsolace, as their bodies lay t wined in an emotional deadlock, t hey felt as t hough their souls got entw ined. What wit h the experience of the nuptial night having lent a sexual t ouch to Roopa’s flesh, Sandhya’s embrace t ickled her innat e lesbianism at it s very core. Even as t he ardency of Roopa’s embrace st irred Sandhya’s sensualit y, t he warm th of Sandhya’ s affect ion affect ed Roopa’s sexuality making her crave for that in her mat e w hat she m issed in her man. St ruck by Sandhya’s nubilit y, Roopa, in her erotic m ind-set got libidinally aroused, and driven by her lesbian love, Roopa was animat ed in Sandhya’s em brace. With Roopa t urning eager to press for her sexual solace in their sensual em brace, Sandhya’s fascination for Roopa urged her into a surging closeness for em otional int egration. As her own sensualit y having been unleashed by her m at e’s sexual collusion, Roopa turned eager t o devour Sandhya’s breast s, bringing her lesbian leanings t o the fore, and st irred by Roopa’ s am orous assault s, Sandhya’ s libido induced reciprocit y in her ow n responses. While t he fascination Sandhya felt for Roopa’s fram e impart ed a sexual color to her friendly feeling as Roopa’s lesbian passion reached the threshold, Sandhya’s ardor facilitat ed an erotic connivance to her own sexual siege. Espying the sensual delight Sandhya derived in t heir sexual excursion, Roopa t urned enthusiast ic to gratify her mat e in t heir lesbian union with an oral go at the very root s of her mat e’s femininit y. And overwhelm ed by Roopa’s unruly passion, Sandhya surrendered her soul as w ell to her mat e who cam e t o reign over her fram e any way. How ever, as though t o let Roopa have a m easure of the joy she gave her mate, Sandhya turned the heat on Roopa’s erotic essence. As that furthered her ow n delight , Roopa’ s w ell of womanliness whet t ed in reciprocit y for Sandhya’s sat iat ion. It was as if Roopa w ished to let Sandhya have a m easure of the oral bliss t hat she herself had best owed upon her m at e before. It was t hus; their ent icing union infused a sublim e em ot ion in them t hat only wom en are capable of experiencing. That chance encount er, brought about by Roopa’s depressed psyche, forever t ransform ed their friendship into bondage of lesbianism. Sensing Roopa’s indifference the following night as well, Sathyam thought of honeym ooning at Oot y. ‘Besides enlivening her mood, t he thrill of the new environs might as w ell ent hrall her m ind,’ he thought hopefully. However, Pathrudu would have none of that. “ One shouldn’ t be taking his wife to hot els and all,” he said rather dism issively. Soon as the t ime to report for w ork neared, Sat hyam was forced to leave Roopa behind. “ I’ll be back soon aft er fixing a sweet hom e for us,” he said at their part ing, as though t o ent huse her. Aft er Sathyam’ s departure to Hyderabad that day, t o fix a ‘sw eet home for us’, as he put it, undisturbed t hat night, Roopa had tim e to reflect on her life and t im es. ‘M y past was st eeped in hope but m y future could be filled just by despair,’ ‘ Am I dest ined to partner disappointm ent? What had gone w rong aft er all? Though a simplet on, yet he’s sincere, and what ’s m ore, he seem s t o love m e wholeheart edly,’ she t hought in disillusionm ent. How ever, the thought that he loved her m ade her feel sympathet ic towards him, ‘If only I could get excit ed about him. Is t he excit em ent I’m craving for a m ere illusion that no man could possibly induce in a w oman?’ Then she fondly rem embered her intimacy w it h Sandhya in that m om ent of their w eakness and t ried to relive the emot ions of their romance and at t empt ed to visualize t he sensat ions of their union in all their vividness. While t he vague fulfillm ent she derived from their encount er that came to the fore made her long even more for it, her fondness for her m at e only helped increase her craving for the he-m an of her daydream s, and in that stat e, her passion was like a landscape in the sky, ever alt ered by t he passing current -----Next morning Roopa reached Sandhya’s place w it h m ixed feelings and entering her bedroom dullish, she found her mate draping a Gadwal sari “ Why so lat e!” Sandhya said dropping her sari. “ Blam e m y lethargy of anxiety,” said Roopa, having outst ret ched her hands in invitat ion. “ How I’ll miss you from now on,” said Sandhya, smug in Roopa’ s em brace “ I would be t he worst hit ,” Roopa couldn’t hold back her t ears. “ Our love should give us solace,” said Sandhya warm ly, as her shoulder was warmed w ith Roopa’s tears. “ The t hought of losing you fright ens m e,” said Roopa in bet ween sobs. “ I swear I’ll always be yours,” said Sandhya as she t ight ened her hold on Roopa. “ But , it won’t be long before you get married,” said Roopa. “ As our need is m utual, I won’ t let m y man spoil our part y,” said Sandhya to assuage Roopa. “ If I’ve a reason to live, it’s for our love,” said Roopa t rying to wipe her own t ears. “ The hope of my life is the product of your love,” said Sandhya licking Roopa’s t ears. “ Let it be our sw eet secret ,” said Roopa m yst ically, reaching for Sandhya’s lips as t hough to seal them . “ Isn’t it the charm of our life?” said Sandhya in surrender. When finally Roopa got up to leave, Sandhya wouldn’ t let her get down from the bed. “ Stay for a while,” she implored to her m at e with a feeling of wanting. “ Given half a chance I w ould get glued t o you but as he rent s a house in Hyderabad, I’ve to move into my sour home then,” said Roopa as she reluctant ly w eaned herself away from Sandhya’s vice-like embrace, Chapter 5 M oorings of M arriage On a tip-off from a friend, Sat hyam contact ed Kantha Rao, the ow ner of a house sit uat ed at the dead end of a by- lane in Domalaguda. “ Are you a vegetarian?” enquired Kant ha Rao, on t he w rong side of the fift ies. As Sat hyam answered in the affirm ative, t he int errogation continued. “ Are you m arried?” he asked. As Sat hyam cert ified his m arital stat us, chim ed in Lalitha, t he childless woman of the house, “ See, w e don’t let out to bachelors, forced or otherwise.” Thereaft er, he was show n t he place by the couple, however, only aft er get ting convinced about his other credentials. That first floor pent house, thought Sathyam , w ould imm ensely int erest Roopa. M oreover, he didn’ t find it wanting for privacy either. “ The rent would be a thousand rupees; the electricity is to your account, m et ered by t he sub-m et er and the wat er bill is to be shared pro-rata,” Kantha Rao w ent about acquaint ing his prospect, as if he were delivering his m aiden budget speech in the parliam ent . “ Sir, it ’s very much on the higher side for a hall and a room !” protested Sathyam earnest ly. “ Boy, you don’ t seem to count the kit chen and the st oreroom with a loft large enough to hide an elephant , if you please. Besides, you can’ t fail t o take int o account t he excellent am enit ies, the western toilet, cupboards all over, the wash-basins, and all others t hat lend com fort. Above all, it ’s a penthouse that provides privacy as soul would ever get an inkling of the tw ining inside,” smiled Kantha Rao m eaningfully. A bargain ensued, and to t he discom fit ure of the couple, Sat hyam appeared adept at it . As bot h didn’ t want t o lose the ot her, they com promised for a rent of eight -fift y. At t he end while Sathyam was excited t hat he could so easily fix an appropriat e accommodation, Kantha Rao was pleased that t he couple, without an entourage, w ouldn’t st rain t he scarce water-bed during the sum m ers. So, post -hast e, Sathyam reached Kakinada to fetch Roopa, and Pathrudu picked up t he Pedda Purnaiah’s almanac for t he auspicious date for the journey. M eanwhile, arrangem ent s were made on a war footing to t ransport the household goods through SRM T. That evening, accompanied by their kith and kin, the newlyweds reached the Town Railway Station to the announcem ent that t he link t rain t o Godavari Express was expect ed short ly. And as the t rain did indeed arrive short ly thereafter from the Port Stat ion, there was pell-m ell at t hat Town Plat form. While the Sathyam s were taking leave of t hose present , Pathrudu helped the port er posit the luggage beneath the low er berth in a first class coupe even as Sathyam m ade it t o the bogie, followed by Roopa and Sandhya. Standing by the ent rance, as Sandhya and Roopa w ere seen whispering to each other m irt hfully, staring at them , Sathyam t hought , ‘Aft er all, she doesn’t seem t o be serious by nat ure. But w hy she’s always m orose w ith m e?’ When it s readiness for departure was announced, Roopa got int o t he t rain only t o grab Sandhya’s hand greedily, as if it were a t reasure. Soon t he guard gave the green signal that triggered a new phase in Roopa’s life, and as if hanging on to her mem ory, Roopa stood root ed near the gat e and waved t o Sandhya until she was out of her sight . M eanwhile, the t rain, for it s part , curved to it s right , seem ingly enabling t he driver to greet the guard at the rear. “ Roopa,” she heard Sat hyam call her, and followed him . As if to preem pt a conversation, Roopa t ook the w indow seat and picked up ‘The Reader’s Digest ’. Sit ting by her side, Sathyam couldn’t help but adm ire her beauty in her profile. ‘What a fascinating beaut y!’ But why is she so ret icent?’ he w ondered. ‘What should’ve gone w rong!’ he w ent into contemplat ion. ‘Was she forced int o the marriage against her will? How it can be. Aft er all, the matchm aker sw ore they were keen on our mat ch. Oh, didn’t he m aintain that if it ever cam e t o missing our m at ch they w ere ready t o pull her out of t he college and perform her marriage ahead of her elder sist er’s. How pleased they were all at the gest ure of accommodat ion. Was it no m ore t han a m ere whit e lie to hast en her m arriage? But t hen, why it was so? Was she carrying on with som eone? Well, was she pulled out m id-course as it were to thwart her elopem ent? Or w orse st ill, she might have got pregnant, prompting all that unseemly hast e. Oh God, what’s all this!’ What ever it was, he thought he should probe her fort hw ith. As he was about t o open, she closed her eyes as though to stall his at tem pt. ‘How lovely she looks even with closed eyes!’ he thought endearingly, and espied her devot edly. As if compelled by curiosity, the wind surged t hrough t he w indow t o have a glim pse of her wondrous dem eanor. In turn, her luxuriant hair unsheat hed it self from the plait t o veil her face as though t o foil that bid. Undaunt ed by the nature of t he cam ouflage, t he surging w ind tried to disperse the guards on dut y t o get a proper view for it self, only t o find them regroup every tim e. The unfolding tussle amused Sathyam . ‘When she’s so enchant ing in her reluctance, w on’t she be as devastat ing in her eagerness? Is she upset that I didn’ t accede to her request?’ he surmised. “ Roopa,” he alerted her t enderly. “ Hahn,” she was nearly inaudible. “ Have you m arried m e against your will?” he asked hesitant ly. “ Who gave you that im pression?” she said in em barrassm ent, though she didn’t appear surprised. Her manner even suggest ed that she expected him to say that. “ I can see that you’re just going t hrough the mot ions,” he said dryly. “ I’m a lit t le m oody, that’s all,” she t ried t o be evasive, but seem ed t o be on the defensive. “ But not so with Sandhya, I’ve seen how lively you’re with her,” he sounded rather argum entative. ‘She’s the only joy of m y life,’ she t hought but didn’t reply. “ Are you angry with m e for refusing?” he said. “ You’ ve your excuses,” she said nonchalantly, and opened her eyes as if t o grasp his feelings. “ Don’t talk like t hat , it hurts,” he said, and w ent into a winding explanat ion of his helplessness. “ I sw ear upon m y love that I won’t disappoint you again,” he tried t o m ake her reconcile to t he situation. He has bared his heart t o let her feel t he love he bore for her. As she didn’t hold him high in her est eem any way, his love t oo didn’ t m ean much t o her. Nevert heless, she w as pleased at being adored. Shortly thereaft er, t he t rain reached Samalkot to be shunt ed to t he Godavari Express, expect ed from Visakhapatnam , and finding her st ill morose, Sat hyam kept wondering w hat was amiss in their marriage. “ Are you in love with som eone?” he asked her as the t rain m oved out of the station at length. “ You should’ve t ried to find out before and better lat e than never, you can do all your spying on m e now,” she said nonchalant ly. “ Your manner m ade m e say so but I’m sorry for hurt ing you,” he sounded apologet ic. “ Thanks,” she sounded uncharact erist ically sarcast ic. He then withdrew into a shell in the manner of a person who commit s an indiscret ion. Seeing him sulk, she felt sorry for him . ‘Am I not being rude to him?’ she thought and as her conscience confirm ed in the affirm ative, her heart was filled with pity for him. ‘Aft er all, it’s not his fault that he isn’t smart ,’ she reasoned. ‘Didn’t I sense his short comings in the first m eet ing it self? Well, I knew from the beginning what was in t he offing for m e. Yet, I married him out of my own compulsions, didn’t I? So w hy should I be cut up w ith him for no fault of his?’ ‘I’m at fault for being cool towards him ,’ she t hought in t im e. ‘M oreover, he m ight have his own expectations from his w ife and married life. Didn’t I nurse m y own dream s t hough they t urned sour in the end? What right I have to m ar his life as his wife? Had I declined, who knows, he would have got a w ife w ho could have adored him and made him happy all his life!’ Even though she realized t hat she was being unfair to him as his wife, yet she bemoaned, ‘But I can’t bring m yself to love him. Am I not the worse for t hat?’ Then she thought t hat if only she could love him , her life would be lively as well, and t hat very idea for the at t endant im pract icality made her feel bit t er about her fat e, ‘Oh, loveless life is no bett er than a lifeless corpse.’ ‘Yet he loves me,’ she contem plated in the sam e vein. ‘Isn’t it said t hat it’ s bet t er t o marry som eone who loves you t han the one w hom you m ight love. Why, hasn’t it t urned out t o be t rue in his case? Well, for all his love, an unresponsive body for a mat e is what he get s from m e. How wast eful is misplaced love, for the one who loves and the loved one as w ell!’ As she was overcom e with pit y for him , she looked at him instinctively, and found him staring at her adoringly. ‘Am I not being cruel to him , though I’m not ent hused about him, I’ve no right to dampen him . So, I should accomm odate him even if I cannot love him . Surely, a sense of fairness dem ands that,’ she thought as she felt guilt y. “ I’m sorry for hurting you,” she said, ext ending her hand to him. Overw helm ed by her gest ure, he was at a loss for w ords. As his eyes welled, he soaked her hand with kisses. Feeling gratified by the grat ification she had caused, she found herself seeing life in a new light . “ How long does it take us to reach our hom e from t he railway st at ion?” she asked so as to start a dialogue. “ Just under half an hour; m y friend Ramu will receive us at the Secunderabad railway st ation. I had sent him the Lorry Receipt and he would have shift ed t he luggage to our house by now ,” he said as her gesture relaxed his nerves. “ I don’t think he att end our w edding,” she continued just t o keep it going. “ He couldn’t m ake it; it ’s a different story,” he said with apparent disappointm ent. “ What is it?” she asked m ore to please him than driven by any curiosity. “ Ram u is in love w ith M eera, his colleague where he worked earlier. Though she agreed to his proposal, the hit ch is, she is a Tamilian and he, an Andhra like us. They got around her parent s in due course and anyway his father too is too broad-m inded t o mind the mat ch. But it was thought ideal t o post pone their wedding t ill his younger sist er got married so as not to spoil her chances in our prejudicial t im es and since her w edding coincided with ours, Ram u couldn’ t com e to our marriage. When the dust set t les dow n, Ram u would marry M eera. But , for t he present it’ s court ship for them,” t hus he narrat ed the st ory. Roopa was startled, only to be relieved. “ Don’t you think they’re smart ?” he asked her, t hrowing her into a dilem ma whether t o sound him about Chandrika or let event s unfold for them selves. “ Is anything w rong with that?” he said before she could make up her m ind. “ It ’s not a bad idea,” she merely said. “ Sandhya seem s t o be very close to you,” he changed the topic t o int erest her. “ We’re childhood pals t urned adult m at es,” she said myst ically, and he didn’t fail t o not ice the glow in her face. “ No friends like childhood friends,” he said nostalgically. “ Tell m e about your childhood days,” she asked. Then he w ent on narrat ing his childhood life and tim es at Guntur for long, and said, “ If not for m y father’s t ransfer t o Kakinada last year, maybe, we wouldn’t have com e across your mat ch at all, and that’s dest iny.” As he becam e engrossed with his childhood escapades, she t ried to be an enthusiast ic list ener, and having heard him speak highly of his friend, she asked him , “ Are you in touch with t hat Prasad now?” “ Sadly w e lost t ouch but I’ve heard t hat he’s in Delhi, married t o a m illionaire’s daughter. Some indust rialist seem s t o have lured him for his plain daughter by dangling a stake in the business empire. Surely he w ould have turned int o a really handsom e man. I have no doubt about that,” he said with a sense of loss. “ Was he am bitious?” she enquired as though she were comparing not es. “ Don’t you think it ’s difficult t o know one’s nature so early on in life? But one of our schoolt eachers used to say that the charact er of a person would be known only after marriage. For all I know, he wasn’t good at st udies. It ’s I who used to help him with his lessons, m aths in part icular. How ever, he was t he handsomest in the class and boist erous as w ell,” he said like som eone who didn’t apply his m ind from that angle. When she proposed dinner, he changed into his lungi. “ I may end up being obese in due course,” he said as he helped him self liberally w it h t he food she served him . “ It ’s my m ot her’s preparat ion,” she said w ith a morsel in her m outh. “ You would find m e doing justice to your recipes too,” he said relishing the food. “ Let’ s see what ’s in store for you,” she said, m anaging a smile. ‘If not suave, he’s by no m eans naive, and what’s more, he’s deeply in love w ith me,’ she reviewed her situation as she w ent to wash the plates. The conviction that he’s in love with her gave her som e consolation. So, she inst inctively knew that life wouldn’t be problematic with him, and t he thought sat isfied her. “ Are you a voracious reader?” he said as she t ook t he Digest again on her return. “ I do read a litt le here and there,” she said without lifting her head. “ I think you’re being modest,” he said sit ting by her side. “ What about you?” she enquired. “ M y reading is more of a tim e-pass, maybe you can read aloud for m e,” he said. When he downed the shutt er of t hat coupe-for-t w o, and swit ched on t he blue lam p, she found herself culled in his eager embrace, and as the recept ivity she inculcated in her m ind im part ed a sense of reciprocity to her body, her motions in his mount seem ed t o synchronize with t he vibrat ions of the carriage. While their nocturnal journey progressed, she felt that in due course she could be on course on the beat en track of married bliss. ----As day broke out , Roopa awoke t o reach for her purse in which she kept the silver anklet s that Sathyam goaded her t o rem ove during t he night. Not finding t he pair t herein, she raised an alarm that awoke him. “ See if they fell down by any chance,” he said drow sily. “ No, I’m sure I’ve kept them here, oh, it s Sandhya’s present ,” she said, unfolding her purse anxiously. They uncovered t heir air-pillow s and upturned the basket of eatables to no avail but in the end, t o her imm ense relief, he found them underneath t he berth. “ You could’ve dropped them without realizing t hat ,” he said, handing the pair to her. “ I’m sure; I’ve put t hem in m y purse. Wonder how t hey landed on t he floor!” she said as she wore t hem on her wondrous legs. Looking down again, he found part of the baggage prot ruding from underneath the bert h. Realizing that he pushed back the luggage as he picked up the anklet s, he recalled t hat during the night he pushed in the luggage a couple of tim es only to find it prot rude in t im e. Preoccupied as he was then, he thought amusedly, ‘The jolt s and jerks are at w ork on the luggage as w ell.’ Now , seized by curiosity, he crouched on the floor and pulled out a suit case only to be unnerved at finding a grown-up lad lying behind t he rest of the baggage. Though he quickly regained his wit s, as t he im port of t he t respass on t heir privacy began to sink int o him fully, he remained speechless. “ Hey, com e out ,” he shout ed, as he recovered at lengt h. The sight of a w ell-built lad of around twent y, craw ling out from below t he bert h st unned Roopa out of her w it s even before t he echoes of Sat hyam ’s shout could die dow n in her ears. “ Why are you here?” Sathyam questioned him . “ I’m ticket -less,” he replied by way of just ificat ion. “ When did you get in?” Roopa asked him in apprehension. “ Before you cam e in,” said the lad em barrassedly. “ So, you’re here all night!” Roopa couldn’t help but exclaim . As he bow ed his head in confirm ation, her embarrassm ent insensibly turned into an acut e aw kwardness. “ When did you rem ove them from her purse?” Sat hyam asked in enquiry. “ I found t hem lying on the floor,” he pleaded w ith folded hands. “ You want us to believe that they dropped down from m y purse just like that. You can explain all about t hat to t he police at the next station,” said Roopa st ill feeling em barrassed. “ Spare me ma’am; I took them from your handbag after you slept off. I thought you w ould look for them only aft er going home. When I realized that you found t hem missing, I kept them in your view so that you won’t be searching behind the luggage. Please let m e go,” frightened, t he lad begged for m ercy. “ Let’ s leave him ; aft er all, he hasn’t harm ed us. M oreover, he might fail at the hands of the police. These days, isn’t t he air thick with the news of lock-up deat hs?” she said overwhelm ed by pity for him . As t he chap went out of the coupe relieved, t he couple looked at each other em barrassed. However, t he very thought that t hey were at lovem aking when that lad lay below embarrassed Roopa no end. ‘What would have happened had he st rangled Sathyam and raped m e as well?’ she t hought at lengt h and found the very idea spine-chilling. ‘The guy is well built and w ould’ve got into m ood for that, what with our doings around him . Why, he even cam e out of his hiding to st eal t he anklet s! God knows, in what shape he m ight ’ve seen m e, and for how long!’ She couldn’t believe that unknown t o her, she passed t hrough that ordeal unscathed, but soon t he horror and t he embarrassm ent of the mom ent have combined to em body her m ind w ith a sense of advent ure. And slow ly, the queer episode cam e to appeal to her with an associated aura of rom ance at tached to it. How ever, Sat hyam was upset about the whole thing, ‘Could it be a bad om en for my married life? In a way, hasn’t Padm avathi prophesied just that?’ It ’s t hus he was nagged for long by m any a doubt about his married life in t he offing. “ Let’s forget about it ,” he said at length as though to ward off the im pedim ent by dism issing the incident it self. “ You handled it w ell,” she complim ent ed him . When the t rain approached the signal post, off t he Secunderabad Railway Station, Roopa seemed to be in the right spirit s t o head t owards his sw eet home. Chapter 6 W orld within the w orld ‘7Up Godavari Express coming from Visakhapatnam will be arriving in a few m inut es on No.2 plat form’ , the Secunderabad Railway Station echoed to the ill-modulated voice of a male announcer. “ Just lat e by t wo hours,” said M eera sarcastically, after checking with her wat ch. “ God speed t he railways,” said Ram u, who by then had finished four cups of coffee. Relieving them of t heir weariness, soon the t rain cam e into view . When in tim e, it decelerated into the station; their spirit s soared to the skies. Spott ing Sathyam standing at t he exit , they waved at him furiously to be noticed and when the t rain cam e t o a halt , t hey paced up t o welcom e t he Sat hyam s. “ Couple in the m aking welcom e t he ‘made for each other’ couple,” said Ramu as he em braced Sathyam . Soon, they moved out following t he port ers carrying the luggage, Sat hyam and Ram u hand in hand and Roopa and M eera side by side, and once out of t he railway station, t hey got int o the waiting Fiat arranged by Ramu for t he occasion. “ Sad w e’ve m issed your marriage,” Ramu addressed Roopa. “ It ’s our loss,” Roopa replied. “ We’ll make up for all that,” said M eera chirpily. “ What if she locks Sathyam in their w edlock,” said Ram u in jest . “ You’ ve said it,” jibed M eera with her beau. “ Let m e see if you don’t t ie him to your pallu ,” retort ed Sathyam on Roopa’s behalf. As the Fiat st opped at the wicket -gate, propelled m ore by w omanly instinct than any w elcoming intent , Lalitha st epped out from the m ain one. “ We never had a more beaut iful t enant, don’t hesit at e to ask for anything from me,” said Lalitha sounding helpful. Oft en, in human relat ions, one’s lat ent nat ure t o help exudes in the face of a prospective friendship but when t he acquaintance fails t o cross the threshold of int imacy, inevitably the inclinat ions too go into hibernation. Though Roopa st epped int o the sparsely furnished penthouse, yet she felt readily at hom e. “ I can’t t hank you enough,” said Sathyam in grat itude as Ram u and M eera had by t hen arranged the furniture and posit ioned t he luggage. “ I t hink, t o start wit h, the bridal couple should handle bet ter things than household art icles; m oreover, it was not such a hassle t hanks t o your landlady’s pratt le, it turned out to be great fun even. I wonder how women won’t get t ired of talking! Isn’t it the irony of man-wom an equation that t he least exposed to the world should have a bett er say in life?” said Ramu heart ily. Ramu ran for cover as M eera advanced t owards him m enacingly and when she caught him by the collar, he said theat rically, “ Excuse m e for snat ching your privilege.” As M eera cuddled him , pret ending as though she were crushing him , Roopa couldn’t suppress her sm ile. The mirth around, though gladdened her heart , nevert heless, cast a shadow on her soul. “ What about lunch?” Sathyam wondered aloud. “ M eera will prepare som e avial for us, but why w e haven’t thought of coffee yet?” said Ram u. “ You know Sathyam w on’t have coffee, and you’re busy abusing wom en,” said M eera, still smart ing from his t ease. “ What a coffee-like coffee!” said Ramu, as Roopa served them filt er coffee. “ Where from you got the coffee powder?” said Roopa. “ The Coffee Shoppe is just up your lane; hope Sathyam too falls in line,” said Ram u. “ Let m e see how marriage changes m e,” Sathyam looking at Roopa. “ Looks like your fiancé is quit e enthusiast ic,” said Roopa t o M eera as they w ent int o t he kit chen to prepare lunch. “ He’s good at heart but is obst inat e like a child,” said M eera. “ M ay I know how it all began?” Roopa tried to sound casual though curious. “ He was my rude boss once, but lat er I realized he’s a comm it t ed and hard working disciplinarian. When I realized how soft he’ s at heart, I developed a soft -cent re for him in m y heart. In tim e, he declared his love and I disclosed m ine,” said M eera sm ilingly. “ I wish you all the best ,” said Roopa extending her hand to M eera. Soon they had a sum pt uous lunch aft er which the bet rothed left the newlyw eds w ith a prom ise t o m eet at Libert y at 5.30 to wat ch Ryan’s Daught er. On their way t o the m ovie, aft er siesta, Sat hyam t ook Roopa on his Lambret ta to his old lodging t o let her have a feel of his bachelor living, when riding pillion, she t urned apprehensive as assort ed vehicles whizzed past them . M oreover, she felt swam ped in t he t raffic and worried about being hit from all sides, but soon, seeing those w om en, riding pillion, clut ch at t heir m en in a romantic fold; she ruefully recalled her own daydream s of yore. While Sat hyam goaded her t o get closer, holding t he seat -handle for support, she sat erect , as though t o distance herself from the realit y. As anticipat ed by Sathyam, they found Padmavathi in the verandah. “ Glad you’re m arried, but know I sorely m iss you,” said t he landlady aft er greeting t hem warm ly. “ I t old m y wife that I’ve had a great stay here,” said Sat hyam like t he one freed from a necessary evil. “ Roopa, no woman ever justified her nam e as you do, and he’s the best behaved man I know apart from m y poor man,” said Padmavat hi, bowled over by her beaut y. While Padm avat hi pressed them to stay on for dinner, t hey excused them selves t o go t o the m ovie, and she allowed t hem to leave only aft er Roopa took the blouse piece given by her to comm emorat e that first visit. When t he Sat hyam s reached the Liberty Theat re, they found the engaged wait ing for them. Seeing Roopa engrossed in the m ovie, Sat hyam didn’t dist urb her with his wit ticism s. How ever, when it was intermission, he goaded her to go along w it h them int o the lounge for refreshm ent s. Overwhelm ed as she was with the myst ery of the love story, she preferred to rem ain in the auditorium as though to savor the set ting. “ Have you liked it?” Ramu asked Roopa as t hey cam e out in the end. “ It ’s all so touching,” Roopa replied m elancholically. “ Aft er all, it ’s a David Lean movie,” said Ramu excit edly. “ All said and done,” said Sathyam sounding critical, “ for m e it appears odd that a married w oman should fall in love with a stranger, that t oo, at t he first sight. At that w ith a man who’s not even right in the leg! M aybe, seduction I can underst and, but losing one’s head st raight away and t o part w ith the heart in a flicker is beyond m e. Well, it could be the way in the West ,” “ East or West human nat ure is the same,” said Ram u, “ though it’s the cultural ethos t hat fashions our social mores. Openness could never be the sole cause of prom iscuity and thus to picture the West ern societies as loose is st upid, to say t he least . On the other hand, our culture that frowns at the m ixing of the sexes puts paid to the Cupid. If ever love is fuelled by furtive glances, the fear of a scandal st raps the enam ored t o their respect ive seat s. Even if some ent erprising were t o venture regardless, our way of life foils their bid t o find a place for lovemaking. Yet, one hears, even here, of illicit relat ionships in spit e of the hindrances. Of course, it all depends on the condition of one’s mind and the att endant circum stances of life.” “ You’ ve the knack of w inning argum ent s,” conceded Sathyam . Roopa list ened to Ramu with interest while M eera looked at him in adoration. Aft er dinner in a nearby rest aurant , they part ed w ith that exciting feeling associated w ith t he flush of growing cam araderie among couples. When the Sathyam s reached hom e, they found t hat t he landlord and his lady had already called it a day. “ It port ends w ell for our landlady won’t be m onit oring our noct urnal m oves,” said Sathyam t o Roopa, ‘M aybe, it’s a good om en for som e eager couple but what value fat e could ever add t o m y life-less life?’ thought Roopa. -----Next m orning, as Sathyam kick-start ed his Lam bret ta to make it to t he office, Lalitha w ho waited at the gat e t o see his back, w ent up to Roopa. “ I’m sure you like the pent house?” she said in a tone comm only assum ed by all landladies while talking to their t enant s. “ It ’s a nice litt le one,” said Roopa, who took t o the pent house from the beginning. “ For eight-fift y, you can’t get anything like this, anywhere in the city,” said Lalitha. “ M aybe, but you know I’m a newcomer,” said Roopa. “ You can take m y word for it,” assured Lalitha. “ I hope you don’t mind having som e t ea,” said Roopa. “ I don’t m ind that if you mind m y sugar,” said Lalitha as if in a repart ee. Over the cup of Lipton tea t hat Roopa served her, Lalitha enquired, “ How’re things ot herwise?” “ I’ve nothing to complain about ,” said Roopa. “ That’ s the way it start s for a bride but com e middle life and all t hat changes,” said Lalitha get t ing closer to Roopa as if t o whisper in her ear. “ Woman needs a large heart t o put up with the problem s that her m id-life poses. Having mooned away during the honeym oon, she finds her life souring w ell before she turns forty as by then her man w ould have developed a roving eye.” “ Lalithagaru you seem to generalize too much,” prot est ed Roopa as Lalitha paused for her response. “ It ’s st upid t o think ‘it’ s not for m e’ way, and sm artness lies in taking precautions,” began Lalit ha in an undert one as though she were recanting some t ant ric mant ra to Roopa. “ Don’t fail to keep your man in your grip or else he w ould slip without your ever know ing it . Strong though he would seem, man has his weak spot s and w eaker mom ent s besides. Though nature blessed him t o m ake it a man’s world, when it com es t o t he crunch, it endowed wom en with w hat that mat ters most to him . Hold your own w hen he needs you the m ost and you’ll find him prepared t o pay what ever is your due. That ’s t he tim e to fix him , and in tim e he w on’t be bothersom e, if only to reach the goal of his passion.” While Roopa sat perplexed as that sounded alien t o her ears, aft er more of the sam e, Lalitha said, “ Aren’t you looking for a maidservant?” “ I’ll be glad if you can find a reliable one,” said Roopa. “ I’ll get you a decent thing,” said Lalitha and left as a neighbour called for her. The next day, t rue to her word, Lalit ha fetched Yadamma, who looked tw enty-five. “ Amma , pay m e sixt y,” the prospect quoted after ascertaining the nature of the chores. “ When can you join?” enquired Roopa as she found Yadamma quit e decent -looking. “ If you’ve any work left , I’ll attend to it right now, but from tom orrow, it’ s sharp at seven in the morning,” responded Yadamma. “ Today being sapthami , it m akes an auspicious beginning,” said Lalitha. So, as Yadamma reappeared w ith a broom , Lalit ha t ook leave to leave the field wide open for Yadamm a. “ I also work at Tara amma’s house, she too is beautiful, but you are bett er. She works in a st ar hot el and her husband in som e privat e com pany; they have a boy and a girl. They live in a well-furnished house in the nearby 7th Lane. Unlike many she doesn’t dum p work on the maidservant s t o make hunchbacks out of t hem,” said Yadamm a volunt eering information. While Yadamma was at work, Roopa realized that she has a chatt erbox for company. How ever, living as she was in an unenthusiastic m ode, even the novelt y of the cit y life failed t o lift Roopa’s quality of life. “ I am get ting sick idling all alone,” Roopa complained t o Sathyam one night . “ I believe bookworm s worm their way through life,” he said half in jest. “ Good reading helps us visualize the failings of others with a feeling heart but reading alone won’t make life,” she said a lit tle stung. “ I’ve seen a lending library com e up on our main road, it m ay keep you going till our offspring arrives,” he said in sm ile. “ I’ll find out, any way,” she said, and thought, ‘How com e, I’m not craving to conceive?’ “ I only hope your fict ional characters w on’t block your favors to this charact er,” he said as he took her into his arm s. “ You won’t find me want ing in m y dut y,” she said dryly. “ I value your devot ion but crave for your love,” he said. “ What else it is being wife?” she said evasively. “ Love of the wifely kind,” he said resignedly. “ M aybe, marriage lends scope to love and be loved,” she said in spite of herself. “ As t he saying goes, an opport unit y lost is som ething lost forever; I hope it w on’t be t he case with us,” he said m eekly. “ Let’ s see what opportunities com e our way,” she said resignedly. “ Let m e grab what ’s on hand,” he said taking her into his arm s. It is t he charact erist ic of the life’s curve that while hopes soar with it s ascent, dream s nosedive in it s descent . -----The next day, when Roopa w ent down t he st eps, Lalitha, at the gat e, invit ed her for a chit -chat . Prom ising t o join her in tim e, Roopa w ent in search of the lending library that Sathyam said he had seen in the locality, but as she ret urned with ‘Good Eart h’, not finding Lalitha at the gat e, she felt , ‘aft er all the book m ight have som ething bet ter t o reveal than the good lady’s gossip.’ How ever, on second thought s, she felt that Lalitha might take it am iss, were she to fail t o peep in as prom ised. As Roopa st epped in, int roducing her warm ly t o her friend Sangeetha, Lalit ha said, “ Didn’t I t ell you Roopa t hat if let loose, men lean towards loose wom en. Get from Kusum a’s st ory how far dow n life could take us wom en.” As if on cue, Sangeetha resum ed the tale of the out-of-favor-woman from where she had left it: Kusum a t ried every t rick that Vastayana postulat ed in the Kam asut ra to lure her husband back int o her bed but to no avail. However, she didn’t think of divorce as it w ould leave her fending for herself, hounded by m en as an easy prey. So preferring the married plough in her m ental furrow, she hit upon an idea to pin down t he philanderer at hom e and approached her widowed cousin Purnima, who was above average and below thirt y. “ See you’ve no male to fill the gap,” said Kusuma to her cousin w ithout any prevarication, “ and my man believes that by filling his belly at hom e, he’s satisfying m y appet it e as w ell.” “ That’ s t he irony of wom an’s life,” lam ented the w idow, who was privy to Kusum a’s predicam ent . “ It ’s the m alady of our m en that they won’t marry widow s and spurn divorcees, leaving both to rot in t heir pat ernal homes,” Kusuma sounded sym pat het ic. “ That’ s why it’s said, bet t er be none than a w oman,” Purnima’s lam ent cont inued. “ But to w hat avail is all t hat having been born?” Kusum a said driving hom e her point . “ I’ve t hought about a way out for both of us. With a lit t le bit of give and take betw een us, w e can make the best of it for t he rest of our lives.” “ What has a poor w idow like m e got t o offer you?” said Purnima. “ It ’s your vulnerabilit y,” said Kusuma, how ever, losing t he irony of it all in her own st ance. “ When my hubby finds a hapless widow for a guest , w hy won’t he imagine the possibilities?” “ That will further com plicat e matt ers for m e and you as w ell,” said Purnim a unent husiast ically. “ Consider t his,” Kusuma cont inued with her ent icem ent, “ as he would stay at hom e t rying to seduce you, I would be able to allure him back into my arm s. Once he behaves him self, I would let him have your favors for a bonus. I hope you w ill agree that in our sit uation, it’s bet t er to share som ething than to have nothing at all.” When Purnim a cam e cam ping at her cousin’s place, though in apprehension, said Sangeetha draw ing t he tale to a close, the m an of the house began to feel m ore at hom e. True to her word, Kusum a made it a m enage a t rois with Purnima, and they, as t he st ory ends, lived happily ever after. “ You are too young to understand t he intricacies of women’s lives. See how pract ical t his Kusuma is!” said Lalit ha to Roopa. “ Looks like anything can happen in life!” said Roopa in w onderm ent. “ When it com es to love life, nothing worthwhile can happen in a m an’s life unless w oman concedes,” said Lalitha as t hough t o m ake Roopa p rivy t o the ingrained characterist ics of the fem inine fecundit y. “ But let woman just wink, and m en in scores line up to prost rat e at her feet t o cat er to her every whim and fancy. Well, once she gives in, t he man m akes her dance to his t unes in turn, so if a w om an is careless in choosing her lover, it could as w ell spell trouble for her.” ‘How com e I’ve never heard of such t hings before?’ Roopa thought leaving them , as it was t im e for Sathyam ’s return, ‘M aybe t he exposure in the m et ros m akes wom en more pragmatic. Books might educat e, but it’s the life t hat t eaches.’ “ Sorry, I was held up at the office,” Sathyam grumbled as he cam e hom e lat e in the evening. “ The m inist er want ed som e stat istics, of course t he irrelevant sort , and it ’s enough for the secretary to be aft er m e. Though quick at ext racting work, they’re slow in rewarding the deserving. Even ot herwise, t he burden of work is borne by the likes of m e, but the loaves of office are reserved for the scheduled castes.” “ They too need a place under the sun, unexposed as they were t o the light of life for so long,” she said as she thought about Anand. “ Not that I don’t feel for t hem but not hing should be done at the cost of m erit . Anyway, there’s not hing that can be done about it so long as the politicians have an axe t o grind with them ,” he said stoically. “ Why feel frustrated when it’s beyond our cont rol?” she said helpfully. “ What ever, can anyone suppress his aspirat ions?” he said st ill sm arting. ‘It seem s life’s balancing act lies in reconciling it s aspirations and the at t endant lim itations,’ she t hought but didn’t offer any comm ent. “ What ever, w e would be having a gala t ime next Sunday. M y colleagues came up w ith t he idea of a picnic at Gandipet to felicitat e us. As t hey insist ed, I said yes, hoping you w ould agree,” said Sathyam as though in reconciliation. “ Have I ever spoiled your party?” said Roopa ent hused herself, and. thought . ‘M aybe, it m akes sense to go out at t im es than brooding at hom e all the t ime.’ Chapter 7 Roopa’s En Passant That Sunday m orning, the picnic spot at Gandipet, on the banks of Osm ansagar, was crowded w ith holidaym akers of all descriptions. When Sathyam and Roopa reached the place on their Lambret ta, t he gathering found their bearings for reveling. “ M rs. Sathyam is m arvelous,” admired a m iddle-aged man w it hin Roopa’s hearing. Though the complim ent pleased her no end, the allusion startled her. Soon she was galled at the inevitability of her social ident ity as M rs. Sat hyam , and t hought in despair, ‘M rs. Sat hyam could be the prop of my public stance but w ho would know about m y privat e reconciliation for accomm odat ion.’ How ever, t he adm iring looks of the m ales around, and the eagerness of the females t o befriend her, enlivened her m ood, Roopa didn’t fail to discern the amorous glances of m en who loitered around her, t hough the not so forthright appeared casual, camouflaging t heir craving. When som eone proposed a round of rumm y, and produced t hree set s of unopened packs, as if to seduce t he fence sit t ers, Sathyam , who was am using him self with som e children nearby, was summ oned. Roopa too was roped in for a quorum . “ Five rupees a count,” proposed a regular clubman. “ If it w ere for stakes, I’m not a gam e for it,” Sathyam t ended to withdraw “ A card-gam e without stakes is like an am orous exercise w ith the incapable; only the hands ache as the libido get s no relief,” rem arked t he regular. “ Why spoil t he part y; any way, you’ve t he sidekicks at the club for your kicks,” said his friend. Seeing Roopa adept at the gam e, Sathyam asked, “ How com e you play so w ell?” “ We used to play at Sandhya’s place,” she said declaring yet anot her deal. “ M rs. Sathyam I think you would m ake a fort une if only you turn int o a pro. You’ve got the skill and luck in the required measures to sweep t he stakes,” complimented the regular. “ Lucky at cards and unlucky in love, so why bother her with your proposition,” said his friend. Aft er scoot ing t he next deal, Roopa looked up, as if on cue, and found a youth perched on a low branch. Sensing that he was looking dow n at her, she realized her pallu had loosened it s guard on her assets m aking her readjust her apparel to block her enticing valley to his probing glances. Blushing nevertheless, she seem ed pleased at his enterprise and experienced a sense of romant icism underlined by his eagerness. Aft er the brunch, when the group gat hered for a round of bingo w it h gust o, as Sathyam missed the house narrowly, comm ent ed a wag am ongst t hem , “ Wit h a wife like his in his house, where’s t he need for another house.” Spending t he day in mirt h and m errim ent , and having agreed upon t he need for fut ure outings, the gathering dispersed t owards the evening. “ I hope you’ve enjoyed; how everyone sings your praises! I’m really proud of you,” said Sathyam as she got onto the pillion. “ It ’s a nice outing,” she said fondly glancing backwards as t hey proceeded hom ewards. While the euphoria of t he event cast an infectious spell on Roopa, synchronous w ith his spirits, Sathyam swit ched int o the top gear. -----As though t o bring Roopa back to her humdrum routine, the next m orning, Yadamm a t urned up for work past nine. “ Why so lat e?” said Roopa in irritation “ I was held up at Taraam ma’s house,” Yadamm a began her harangue by way of an explanat ion. “ I was helping her pack up for her journey. Don’t worry amma; she won’t go out m uch, may be once or twice in a month, and that too just for t wo or three days, no more.” As Yadamma got on with her work, sat isfied with t he explanation, Roopa busied herself w it h the lunch-box for Sathyam . How ever, when the buzzer sounded that aft ernoon, breaking the m onot ony, Roopa expected the postman, and finding him , she experienced a sense of excitat ion. “ Have you moved in recent ly?” asked the post man handing her a couple of envelopes. “ M y father is a Post M ast er at Kakinada,” she said, and seeing t hat the let t ers were from Sandhya and her father, she felt that it was bonus post for her. “ So we’ re baradaris; I’ll treat your m ail as our family mail,” he said as he left . Closing the door behind him, she opened Ramaiah’s lett er first , not want ing to get dist ract ed from the bliss of Sandhya’s missive later. As she culled through her fat her’s lett er, she gathered that all was w ell at hom e, and felt glad about that. But as she fondly gazed at her address in Sandhya’s hand, her eyes glist ened with fondness. When she pressed t he envelope t o her bosom , her breast s st art ed heaving as though to synchronize her em ot ions wit h Sandhya’s anticipat ed feelings. As she unfolded the lett er at lengt h, her eyes becam e ant ennas t o t ransm it the spasm s of Sandhya’s heart to her soul. ‘Roopa, m y Lovey, I couldn’t think of a bet t er way of addressing you than t he one you thought for m e, moreover, you are t o m e what I am to you, aren’t you? In our separat ion, I feel as though t he vitals of my body and the essence of my soul w ere w renched out from me. I have com e to realize that your body is but an ext ension of m y soul. I can feel your line like the flow in m y veins - I’ve carried m y body leaving behind m y soul in your fram e. Now I know, m ore than ever, that we are com plet e only in our togetherness. I pray t hat aft er I get married, we m ight becom e neighbors for all our life. Unt il t hen, we have to bear our separation and bide for the tim e. Sorry for having kept you waiting for so long for m y lett er. Well, I was at a loss for w ords when it cam e to w riting to you. Believe m e. Yours all, Sandhya.’ As Roopa read and reread the lett er, her innat e longing for Sandhya w renched her every nerve. Thus at bedtim e t hat night, having shown her fat her’ s lett er to Sathyam, she said, “ I want to go hom e.” “ What ’s t he hurry? We would be going there for the dasara,” he said soft ly. “ Dasara is far way, then we can go together,” she t ried to persuade him . “ It ’s not even a m onth since w e’ ve set up our sweet hom e and why sour it so soon,” he said in sm ile and t ried to take her int o his arm s, as though t o whisper the prescript ion for her ailment, “ Dear, you’ve to get over your hom esickness.” Dodging him , she turned her back on him . “ Don’t behave like a kid,” he said affect ionat ely, and t ried to turn her to his side. “ What have you got to do w it h a kid?” she said as she resisted his advances. “ You know that I didn’t m ean it that way,” he said softly, cuddling her. “ Never m ind, I prefer being a kid,” she said withdrawing from his embrace. “ I am sorry if I’ve hurt you,” he said pleadingly. “ If you are really sorry, let me be alone,” she said, and pulled a blanket over her head, signaling curtains for him . The next day t oo Sathyam had t o cont end w it h a morose Roopa, and during bedtim e, as if to preempt his m ove, she pret ended headache. Unable to bear t he tension born out of her regim en, t hat plagued him for a couple of days more, he gave in. “ Look, I’ve a surprise for you,” he said t hat night . Though she sm elt victory, she feigned indifference. “ You can t ravel this Saturday,” he said showing her t he reserved ticket. “ Thank you,” she t ried to appear casual. “ Now at least you can bring your bewit ching smile back onto your fascinating face,” he said, taking her into his arm s. Having enfeebled him into set ting a precedent, as she was not averse t o giving in, she said ent icingly, “ Swit ch off t he light .” -----Roopa’s arrival that Sunday m orning t ook her parent s, st ill at ablutions, all by surprise. “ What ’s t he mat ter?” said Janaki apprehensively. “ Oh, don’t im agine things, I’ve com e to have some fun,” said Roopa heartily. “ Still Sathyam should’ve wired about your arrival,” said Ram aiah in relief, “ If you’re not pleased, I’ll go back right now ,” said Roopa making a mocking m ove. “ Stop it now, how’s your husband?” said Janaki holding Roopa’s hand. “ He’s fine but where are our devils?” said Roopa looking around. As t hough to answer her query, Chandrika em erged from the bat hroom and Raju cam e from the vegetable m arket. “ So, Raju gives you a helping hand these days,” Roopa said aloud before w hispering t o him .” What ’s the com mission like my boy?” “ How is my poor brother-in-law suffering your nagging?” Raju said in jest . “ What ’s t he news from Suguna?” said Roopa. “ She’s doing fine w ith her fam ily,” said Janaki w ith that sense of sat isfaction m ot hers derive at the w ell-being of their married daughters. “ But she com plains that you don’t w rit e t o her.” “ Ask her if she ever w rot e to me,” said Roopa. “ How parent s wish that their children develop a st rong family bond t hat binds the com ing generations but sadly these days even t he first cousins are not on familiar t erm s,” said Janaki stoically. As Janaki went back to her kit chen chores, Roopa and Chandrika closet ed over coffee t o exchange confidences. “ Won’t you show m e the progress card?” said Roopa eagerly, “ He’s on the lookout for a job in M adras. We w ant to move out of here to save em barrassm ent t o our parent s. Hopefully the decks would be cleared by December. You know he’ s eager to m eet you,” said Chandrika holding Roopa’s hand. “ It should be a pleasure m eet ing m y brother-in-law in the m aking,” said Roopa. “ I hope, your fears are but liars,” said Chandrika hoping to hear in the affirmative. “ When hopes are duped what’ s t here t o fear? M aybe, it ’s in the nature of marriage t hat one learns t o fall in line,” said Roopa resignedly. “ I’ll know that any way but you should know w it hout you Sandhya is like a fish out of w at er. Oh, how she loves you!’ said Chandrika. “ If not for her love, there’s no hope left in m y life,” said Roopa closing her eyes as t hough to picture her friend. “ How I w ish I too had a friend like her,” said Chandrika. “ Roopa, why don’t you have your bath,” yelled Janaki from the kit chen. “ I’ll have an early lunch and go t o Sandhya’s place,” said Roopa to Chandrika, picking up her bathrobe. “ I know you would be rest less t ill you m eet her but t ell m e, how you are m anaging your hom e?” said Janaki in sm ile as Roopa went int o t he kit chen on her way to the bathroom . “ You’re w elcome for inspect ion,” said Roopa sm iling. “ Why won’t w e com e aft er you set t le down,” said Janaki “ I hope you’re making the best of life,” said Ram aiah joining them . “ You should know how your father is worried about you,” said Janaki t o Roopa. “ No need for that as he looks aft er m e famously,” said Roopa thought fully. Aft er bath, in her eagerness t o rush to Sandhya, Roopa joined her mother in the kit chen t o pressurize her t o speed up the cooking. But hardly could Roopa eat what her mother so fondly served her in t im e, and rushing in a rickshaw , she reached Sandhya’s place only to fumble in greet ing Damayanthi at tête-à-t êt e with a guest . When Roopa began to hop up the st eps to Sandhya’s room , Dam ayanthi in concern sounded caut ion, and told her guest, “ She’s Roopa, Sandhya’s friend, looks like they are born for friendship.” Storm ing into Sandhya’s bed without a word, Roopa overwhelm ed her in a cyclonic em brace and buried her head in her sharp valley and excit ed by her touch for which she w as craving, Sandhya want ed gratification for her soul as w ell with t he timbre of Roopa’s t one. However, even as Sandhya parted her sensuous lips t o init iat e a dialogue, Roopa in all eagerness to savor them, closed in on them for deep kissing, and even when her lips were set free, Sandhya couldn’t give vent to her feelings past m onosyllables as Roopa w ent on probing her labia with her craving t ongue. But w hen Roopa’s clamor rent the air as Sandhya plunged her tongue into her surging vulva to savor it s flavor, t hey both had grat ifying feeling. “ Oh! It ’s as if it w ere ages,” said Sandhya in embosom with Roopa. “ You make m e die for you!” crooned Roopa into Sandhya’s ear. “ I’m going crazy craving for you,” said Sandhya longingly. “ Sad, w e failed to make it before I was t rapped in t he w edlock,” said Roopa fondling Sandhya. “ But st ill so much life is left for us,” said Sandhya fondling Roopa. “ What if your ‘would-be’ won’t turn a blind eye?” said Roopa in apprehension. “ Shall I marry a blind man?” said Sandhya in jest . “ Jokes apart, what if he spoils our part y?’ said Roopa in speculation. “ If it com es to that I would walk out on him,” said Sandhya mirthfully. “ Won’t it be far bet ter if I t oo give m yself to him ,” said Roopa m ystically. ‘That would herald our fulsome t hreesom e,” said Sandhya dream ily. “ Given our love, no doubt about that ,” said Roopa heart ily. “ By the way, how’re things with you?” said Sandhya “ There’s not hing w rong wit h him but not hing goes right for m e. That ’s t he irony of it all,” said Roopa as though grasping the realit y. “ Why t his em ergency landing?” said Sandhya in seem ing innocence. “ Haven’t you post ed the wings for m e to fly into your nest,’ said Roopa looking at Sandhya endearingly. “ Lovey, for our love’s sake find a groom for m e in your locality,” said Sandhya. “ Good idea, but I’ve com e to believe that I’m born unlucky,” said Roopa pensively. “ I swear that I’ll do everything t o m ake you happy, our m énage a t rois included,” said Sandhya overwhelm ed. “ Know it’s your love t hat keeps m y life going,” said Roopa, t ouched by all that. “ We’ll keep it that way, com e what may,” said Sandhya, signing the kiss of cont ract w ith her lips. “ I know w e would at any cost ,” said Roopa, grabbing Sandhya’ s lips to seal the agreem ent . Buoyed by Sandhya’ s commitm ent t o their love and accompanied by Raju, Roopa called on her in-laws that evening. “ We’ve always felt you would m ake a good daught er-in-law,” said a satisfied Durgamm a, after an hour-long enquiry. Taking leave in the end, Roopa prom ised to stay w ith t hem for a couple of days before she left for Hyderabad. “ The waiting is killing, bunk the post -lunch sessions,” Roopa said as she nest led into Sandhya t he next evening. “ Is it to let all the tongues wag,” said Sandhya in jest . “ Thirst ing for your wag,” said Roopa protruding her t ongue. “ See how dry is m ine,” said Sandhya showing hers. “ I’m all wet for that,” said Roopa shedding her sari. “ Your figure dear is flowing to perfect ion,” said Sandhya fondling Roopa in their em brace. “ Thank the change of the clim es for t hat,” said Roopa naughtily. “ Don’t be m ean, give credit t o whom it’ s due,” said Sandhya t easingly, squeezing Roopa’s breast s. “ Ok, let m e debit from your account now,” said Roopa reaching for Sandhya’s crot ch. “ Oh, how I feel want ed!” sputtered Sandhya in t im e. “ You make m e live,” continued Roopa. Next day, when Roopa went to Chandrika’s office, she saw her with a man of about t hirt y, and felt t hat he could be her beau. “ This is Roopa,” Chandrika int roduced her to him . “ I am Anand the ever grat eful,” he said folding his hands. “ Please, don’t m ake m uch of it,” said Roopa in embarrassm ent . “ Your gest ure is love-saving for us,” he said nevertheless. “ I’m glad you’re happy, but how are you sure that I didn’t have an axe to grind?” said Roopa as though to shed part of her guilt. “ Even then, it doesn’t lessen our gratitude,” he insist ed. ‘I don’t deserve it, though,’ she t hought, but said, “ I wish you all the best.” “ Thank you,” he said as he left t hem t o exchange notes. “ How do you like him?” enquired Chandrika eagerly. “ He has got good features, you’ve chosen well,” said Roopa shaking Chandrika’s hand in congrat ulation. “ Coming from you, it’s a com plim ent ,” said Chandrika in elation When it was t im e for Roopa’s departure, t he mates felt w renched from one another. Neit her was Janaki satisfied. ‘You w ere hardly at home,’ she com plained. Seeing his daughter in a happy fram e of m ind, Ram aiah, however, thought she got reconciled t o her situat ion at last and felt relieved at that. However, the t hree days she spent in her in-law s’ house, with t he const ant reference to Sathyam t herein, m ade her experience t he effect of his presence m ore in his absence, which m ade her feel that she was in the annex of her own hom e. Chapter 8 Threshold of Tem ptation Back in Sathyam’ s arm s on her return, Roopa felt as though she landed in the lap of realit y aft er her reign in the realm s of fantasy. ‘Isn’t he lucky in a way?’ she thought that night, lying beside Sat hyam , fast asleep by t hen. ‘While he airs his dream s freely, I’m forced to bury m y fulfillm ent at the bot tom of m y heart . Oh, whom can I tell how happy I’m in our lesbian love? What a paradox! Wasn’t it he that t riggered m y libido to explode in Sandhya’s embrace. But for that w eak mom ent , could I ever have tast ed the sw eetness of a woman’ s love in lovem aking!’ ‘Is the sam e-sex syndrom e abnorm al?’ she asked herself. ‘What ’s the yardst ick t o judge it? Why, bot h of us have that innate want , and suffer when w e can’t have it. And w hen w e m ake it, don’t w e go to the depths of sexual delight and reach the height s of sensual ecstasy? Won’t our souls m erge with our bodies to comm unicat e our mutual craving in lovemaking? Love is our life-force, isn’ t it ?’ ‘That w e’re able t o enjoy sex without guilt makes it norm al after all,’ she seemed to feel at ease with her libido. ‘M aybe, woman could t ruly experience the beaut y of fem ininity in lesbian lovemaking! What ever, m y sam e-sex fondness in no way hampers m y w eakness for the male em brace, does it? It should be no different for Sandhya when she get s her man, so what’s the hit ch in being bisexual? It’s a different mat ter t hough t hat Sathyam fails to inspire love in m e. Am I not t he loser as m y life is devoid of all that goes w ith loving a he-man?’ The m ysterious thought of man’s love m ystified her soul. Her intimacy with Sandhya and her exposure to Sathyam enabled her to visualize what was lacking in her wom anly life. The more she valued her mat e’s fondness for her, the cure for her m elancholy, she w as even m ore dissatisfied with her husband, w hich insensibly increased her innat e craving for an ent icing man of her own, and that made her daydream about him . Roopa didn’t wake up unt il Yadamm a came at nine and as Sathyam was about t o leave by then, she said, “ Why didn’t you wake m e up?” “ Where was the need? Let ’s go for a movie in the evening. I w ill ask Ramu and M eera t o join us. Be sure you’re ready by the t ime I com e hom e,’ he said affect ionat ely. “ I’m sorry, you’ve to do without the lunch-box today,” she said apologet ically. “ Don’t be so sentim ental,” he said as he left. “ How are your people?” enquired Yadamm a after Sathyam was gone. “ They’re fine but what ’s wrong with you? You bunked yest erday and your sevens have become nines these days. Were you regular when I was away?” said Roopa. “ Ask ayya , if you’ve any doubt; your man is a good man, not like all others who have not hing but lecherous looks for the maidservant s,” said Yadamma. “ How’ s your Tara-amma ?” enquired Roopa, and thought . ‘Why am I inquisit ive about an unknown w om an?’ “ She’s fine but w hy don’t you m eet her? I’ve already told her about you,” said Yadam ma. “ What did you t ell her?” enquired Roopa sm ilingly as Yadamma didn’t blabber on her own, for once. “ I’ve told her you’re good at heart and beautiful t o look at ,” said Yadamm a in all innocence. “ What did she say?” Roopa couldn’t help but ask. “ I would love to m eet her, that’s what she said,” said Yadamm a. By the time Sathyam ret urned, Roopa was st ill lounging in the hall. “ You had all t he t im e in the world t o get ready, I’m afraid we would be lat e. When I rang up Ram u he said he has a surprise for us,” he said in som e irritat ion. “ What else it could be but their wedding invitat ion,” she said going to the bathroom. When they reached t he Skyline in tim e, leaving Roopa at the portico, Sat hyam went t o park his Lam bret ta. How ever, Ram u, who cam e on his Royal Enfield with M eera, spot t ed Roopa and dropped his com panion for her com pany. “ How’s your trip?” M eera greet ed Roopa. “ Ok, but you’ve becom e so scarce even before your m arriage,” said Roopa in smile. Soon Sathyam and Ramu joined them. “ We heart ily w elcom e you to lend your hand in ringing our wedding bells, the first of next m onth,” M eera and Ram u invit ed t he Sat hyam s in unison. “ Congrat s, w e knew it ’s com ing,” the Sathyam s said in one voice. As she didn’t find the m ovie engrossing, Roopa got bored. When she chanced to see Ramu and M eera at foot sie, and finding Sathyam glued to t he screen, she thought , ‘rom ance is all about inclinat ions’ and in t he sam e vein, she took Sathyam ’s keenness for the formula m ovie by way of an explanation for his ungainliness. For the rest of the show, how ever, she found herself following the foot sie on the floor m ore than the happenings on the screen as t he bet rothed anyway were too engrossed with t hem selves t o be aware of her voyeurism . How ever, when t he screen flashed ‘The End’, the rendezvous of the engaged had ended to Roopa’s peculiar disappointm ent. ‘Life sans romance is like food that is stale and what is left of m arriage divorced from love?’ she thought , as she got on to Sathyam’s Lam bret ta. That evening, a week later, the Sathyam s w ere at the much-await ed wedding of Ramu and M eera t hat was w ell-att ended t oo. As Roopa looked gorgeous in her grey maroon Kanchi silk sari, finding her cut a figure in the gathering, Sathyam couldn’t help but gloat over his fort une. When in the end, after bidding adieu t o the newlyweds, as t hey reached the parking space, Sathyam thought that it’s an irony that Roopa who should’ve adorned a palanquin had t o ride the pillion inst ead. As her supposed deprivation m ade him feel guilty, he realized how much he loved his wife, and thought t hat he should acquire a four-wheeler one day. When they reached hom e, Roopa could discern a change in his dem eanor and att ributed it to t he sat isfaction he might have derived from Ram u’s wedding. While she hit the pillow st raight away, for long he lay by her side looking at her as it daw ned on him that they hover around different emot ional planes in spit e of their physical proxim it y. It seem s that it is the weird fate of t he unrequit ed love that even t he physical union w ith t he loved one, wouldn’t lead to an em ot ional int egrat ion. -----Tim e was on it s languid course in Roopa’s life until that wint er aft ernoon, when Tara entered into it . Book-m arking the M adam e Bovary that she was engrossed in, an irritat ed Roopa opened t he door t o the sound of t he buzzer, to be pleasantly surprised at finding a smart and beautiful woman across the threshold. “ I’m Tara,” said the visit or ext ending her hand t o Roopa. “ Welcom e,” said Roopa taking Tara’s hand with a st range sense of excit em ent. “ Hope I’m not disturbing you,” said Tara, glancing at the book in Roopa’s hand. “ I was just browsing through it ,” said Roopa placing M adame Bovary on the t eapoy. “ I’ve heard it’ s a classic of infidelit y,” said Tara picking up the book. “ It depends on how one looks at it,” said Roopa wit hout taking a stance. “ I want ed to see you for long but I’ve got an excuse only now . Yadam ma suddenly left for her native place and want ed m e to be the news-carrier. She may not turn up t ill t he weekend,” said Tara with a sm ile. “ She’s a great fan of yours,” said Roopa sm ilingly. “ But I think it ’s the other way round. She says you’re the m ost charm ing woman ever. Now I realize she doesn’t exaggerat e,” Tara said with her charact erist ic ease. “ You’ve a rare grace,” said Roopa earnest ly. “ We need a romant ic man’s judgm ent for that, don’t w e? M oreover, to be beaut iful is one thing and to beautify is anot her. Woman’s beauty could be a lovers’ fort une but more oft en, I suppose, it ’s the husband’s rout ine,” said Tara positing Bovary back on the t eapoy. ‘If only m y dream -m an were for t he real,’ thought Roopa, keeping quiet. “ What ’s your husband?” asked Tara appearing to sound casual. “ He’s a Senior Assist ant in the State Secretariat,” said Roopa wit hout any remorse. “ I suppose yours is a love m arriage,” Tara said implying that but for the weakness of love, Roopa m ust have got a bet t er mat ch. “ It ’s a regulat ion match,” said Roopa sounding m yst erious in her own way. While Roopa was too young and inexperienced in life to infer Tara’s innuendo, the latt er for her part was puzzled to underst and what was at t he back of Roopa’s m ind. “ When would you grace m y place?” said Tara enticingly. “ Soon but without adjectives,” said Roopa eager to cont inue w it h the Bovary story, “ You know , I’m a w orking w oman but now I’m on leave all t his week, so don’t disappoint m e,” said Tara and left , without waiting for a reply, in the manner of a person w ho w ould leave as though t he argum ent was over w ith that st at em ent . Aft er Tara had left, Roopa found herself cont emplating, ‘What a st ylish carriage she has, backed by that confident m anner! Won’t she m ake t he hallmark of grace it self? Why, there’s som ething casual about her remarkable beaut y as w ell. What an impressive personality she has! M aybe, she symbolizes the modern w om an.’ Though Roopa went back to the M adame, it didn’t take her long t o realize that Tara’s persona seized her mind, and unable t o concentrat e on her st ory, she gave up in the end. ‘Is this fascination for Tara owing to m y lesbian leanings? By the way, am I bisexual by disposition? No, it can’t be, it was only my distress t hat t riggered that union w ith Sandhya. Looks like Tara is no less enam ored of m e. Could she be a lesbian by any chance? If ever the push com es to the shove, it w on’t be an unwelcom e developm ent, w ould it be?’ Roopa began cont emplat ing. ------Aft er lunch, the next day, Roopa set out to Tara’s place, and soon she found herself pressing the door buzzer, though wit hout a response from within. Realizing in tim e that t here was load shedding in their area, she knocked at t he door t hat Tara opened expectantly. “ Heart y welcome,” said Tara ext ending her hand to Roopa. “ This is graceful,” said Roopa warmly grabbing Tara’s hand. Aft er Tara took her around her well-appointed hom e, said Roopa, “ You’ ve a good tast e.” “ Thanks for your complim ent it but it takes m ore than good tast e to adorn a hom e. One has t o make adjustm ent s for t hat ,” said Tara t aking Roopa’s hand. “ I see t hat working couples have to put up with a lot m any inconveniences?” said Roopa pressing Tara’s shoulder sym pathet ically. “ Roopa, enduring inconveniences m ay lead one up t o a point but it’s the com prom ises that count in today’s w orld,” said Tara as the pow er supply was rest ored. “ I don’t quit e get you,” said Roopa going blank. Before she got the answer, the buzzer was on. “ What a surprise!” Roopa found Tara w elcoming som eone at the door. “ Your thought got m e int o the m ood,” Roopa heard an ardent male voice and turned her gaze inst inctively only t o find a handsom e man of about thirty-five taking Tara’s hand as he cam e in. “ I’ve a guest ,” said Tara w ithdraw ing her hand t entatively as he turned his gaze t owards Roopa who kept st aring at t hem wide-eyed. “ Apologies for the trespass,” he said as he cam e up t o Roopa. “ Not at all, she is Roopa m y neighbor,” said Tara in int roduct ion, “ He’s Ravi, m y cousin.” “ What a persona-synchronous name!” he exclaim ed as Roopa was flabbergast ed. “ How com e you didn’t t ell m e t hat you’ve such a marvelous friend!” he complained t o Tara, while ogling at Roopa. “ I had t he pleasure of meet ing her only yest erday,” said Tara looking at Roopa. “ How lucky it ’s my turn t oday!” he said, wit hout taking his eyes off Roopa. “ I think it ’s reciprocal. What do you say Roopa?” said Tara seemingly prompting Roopa. Though his forthrightness tickled Roopa’s psyche, her modest y reined in her enthusiasm, making her dum b. “ You won’t find many like Ravi, I call him a businessm an with a rom antic touch,” said Tara, not hiding her familiarity. “ That’ s Tara for you, an expert at handing out left -handed complim ent s,” he said t urning to Roopa. “ It seem s you lost your wit s aft er seeing Roopa,” said Tara as if to clarify, “ Haven’t you heard it said that love is a hackneyed expression unless backed by m oney? I was im plying that you’ve the m eans t o fan love in any woman’s heart . Isn’t it a fulsom e com pliment for a handsom e guy?” As Tara’ s charact erization of Ravi thrilled Roopa’s romant icism , she found herself st aring at him endearingly. “ It ’s the case of beauty and brains at work t ogether,” he said in m ock exasperat ion, and sank into t he sofa bet ween the host and her guest . “ You m en always underest im at e w om en, of course, only to go w rong, Roopa has brilliant brains, and is a judicious reader as well,” said Tara enlivening t he conversation furt her. “ Don’t believe her, she’s only exaggerat ing,” Roopa inadvert ently addressed him . “ Is it possible to exaggerat e your beaut y? With no need for makeup, you’ve all the t im e for int ellect ual pursuit s. Won’t that glow your persona all the m ore giving that special aura?” Ravi addressed Roopa. “ You’re a difficult fellow,” Tara pat ted him in admiration while Roopa couldn’t help feel flat tered. “ Tell Roopa, is it not another left -handed give,” he said, m ocking exasperat ion. “ I bett er prepare som e t ea for us,” said Tara get ting up from the sofa. “ M ay I see your kit chen,” said Roopa, how ever, w it hout at t em pting t o get up. “ Why leave our guest alone, keep him com pany,” said Tara t o Roopa. “ What large heart edness t o make t he lady guest your co-host ess,” said Ravi to Tara, and as she left sm iling, turning to Roopa he added, “ Do you think I’m a bore or what?” “ Oh, no,” she said eagerly, afraid t hat her silence would otherwise silence him depriving the excitem ent she was experiencing. “ I’ve seen m any a beaut iful w om an before,” he m oved closer to Roopa as he took out a pearl from his coat pocket . “ I always ent ertained the idea of present ing this t o the ‘Perfect Ten’, if ever I com e across one. In t erm s of m oney it cost s next to not hing, but it sym bolizes beauty at it s very best, seen through a connoisseur’s eyes. Though I’ve t raveled t he globe t wice over, I didn’t find the wom an w ho I t hought deserved t his. And t he m oment I’ve seen you, I felt as though t his is yours by right for you’re more than perfect .” Having finished m yst ically, he grabbed her hand and thrust the pearl into it and looking into her enamored eyes, he closed the fist , fearing she m ight drop it in her overwhelm ed stat e. Before Roopa could gather her wit s, Tara walked in w ith the Chinaware. “ I haven’t realised t hat you’ re a sout hpaw,” said Tara to Roopa as they were having t heir t ea, “ Not really,” said Roopa, involuntarily looking at her closed fist . “ One doesn’t get t ea like this served even in Darjeeling, and t o have it in such a lovely com pany, oh, it’s divine,” said Ravi addressing Roopa. “ M y dear man, you’re exaggerat ing really, I m ean m y part of it,” said a pleased Tara. “ Act ually I’m unable t o express even a fract ion of the other part,” he said, staring at Roopa, Though her eyes were downcast, Roopa could envisage the dart s of his desire piercing her breast s. Then the clock st ruck three as t hough to suggest that Roopa m ight com prehend the situation bett er in solitude. “ I’ll make a m ove,” said Roopa, rising. “ Can I hope for the pleasure of m eeting you again,” he said ext ending his hand. Though Roopa failed to ext end her hand for him, she grasped his st ress on ‘again’, and for an embarrassing look for a reply, she depart ed in bewilderm ent. Having hurried hom e in tim e, she leapt over the st eps only to realize that she had left her wallet behind. Swirling in confusion, she sank on t he st eps and dropped her head on her knees. When she recovered a lit t le at length, she realized that her fist was aching and it was only then that she felt t he accent uat ed sensat ion of the pearl, which she found herself gripping in her fist , and though she loosened her grip, yet she couldn’t bring herself to open it as her m ind refused to comply. ‘Oh, what should I do with this?’ she w ondered, opening up her palm at length and unable to com e t o a conclusion in her confusion, she tucked the pearl inside her bra, and thought, ‘let m e think about it lat er. Would he be at her place st ill! Wouldn’t he have left by now? Anyway, how long can I hang on here?’ She walked back to Tara’s place languidly as if t o buy tim e, and reaching for the buzzer finally, she virtually leaned on it , having got sapped by then. How ever, it was a w hile before a surprised Tara opened the door, only aft er due enquiry from w it hin. “ I’ve left m y wallet here,” mut t ered Roopa apologet ically, still leaning on t he wall. “ Is it so?” said Tara, and gave way t o her, having recovered from her ow n em barrassm ent, ‘I didn’t not ice it .’ Roopa sprang int o the room and pounced upon her purse lying by the sofa. “ Why, you look so sick,” said Tara who was composed by then. “ I don’t know ,” murmured Roopa for an answer. “ I was just laid up in bed,” Tara seem ed to explain her being in lingerie. “ I am sorry.” “ Don’t worry, have som e water and go,” ’ said Tara. “ No thanks.” “ Do take care,” said Tara herself put ting on the nightgown lying nearby. “ It should pass,” said Roopa, and began t o m ove out . “ I’ll see you later,” said Tara accompanying Roopa up to t he w icket -gat e. “ Thank you,” said Roopa crossing the gat e. “ Bye for now,” said Tara as Roopa hit the road, and t hought, ‘Could there be a bet t er way for m e t o seduce her than gett ing m yself caught redhanded at t hat . Won’t Roopa, the platinum premium, go hom e and wonder about m y double life? Won’t that port end w ell. If only w e could hunt as a pair, what gam e that w ould fet ch!’ “ Bye,” said Roopa looking back at Tara, only to find her furt ively glancing at the Impala parked near the gat e. Chapter 9 Sathyam’s Surrender Sinking int o t he sofa on reaching hom e, Roopa closed her eyes as if to elim inate the environs, and began t o focus her thought s on the object of her agitation. ‘This is yours by right,’ she recalled Ravi’s w ords as she felt for the pearl on her breast . Finding it in t he left cup, she retrieved it like a t reasure and posit ed it on her palm in adoration. Then gazing at it lovingly, she recalled his complem ent , ‘In t erm s of money it costs next t o not hing, but it symbolizes beauty at it s very best, seen through a connoisseur’ s eyes.’ ‘Those were the w ords of a confident man who is handsom e as w ell,’ she t hought endearingly. ‘How his eyes glow ed the m om ent t hey fell on m e! Didn’t his dem eanor evidence t he convict ion his complim ent carried.’ While the alluring praise endeared the pearl t o her receptive mind, her innat e vanity was catered to by the accomplishment s of t he man who present ed it thus. She bow ed her head, as t hough in reverence to it, and kissing the t hing w it h affect ion, she held it by her lips while reclining like the reigning queen. ‘What he should’ve t hought of m e, for accept ing it?’ as it occurred to her at lengt h, she recoiled at that. ‘Haven’ t I given him scope for hope? Oh yes, I did.’ It was only tim e before she was dist ressed that she had com prom ised her honor, and t errified, she dropped the pearl. ‘That ’s why he st ressed that we m eet again. But , why did I allow him t o take m e for grant ed?’ She felt asham ed. As she got vexed with herself, she resented t he very thought of him . It ’s the charact er of m an woman chemist ry that fem inine tendencies catalyze male proclivities. Carried away by the euphoria of her coquet ry, man begins to w oo w oman w ith hope. With her vanity thus addressed by his advances, she turns flirtatious, furt hering his passion for her possession. In the excit em ent of the m oment, should he t ransgress t he threshold of her sensit ivity, fearing she had com prom ised her honor, she sinks in sham e. Thereaft er, she w ithdraws from him to brood over her infirm it y, and in t he end, as t hough to atone for her mom ent of w eakness, she cold-shoulders him altogether, m aking him wonder what went w rong in the m idst of his conquest . Picking up the pearl from her lap, she flung it through the window as though to sever her humiliation. ‘It m ust be his device t o entice w om en,’ she cursed herself for having given a poor account of herself t o him . ‘Why did I fail to fling the thing at him, then and t here? Had I done that, it would have given him the real m easure of m y t rue w orth. Inst ead of showing him his place, I gave him cause to think in term s of conquest. What a sham e! But why did I allow myself to get carried away? Surely he would have taken m e for a flirt or a slut even for all that . Oh, how I comprom ised m yself.’ As she was sm art ing under her perceived hum iliation, it occurred t o her shock that Tara was a witness to all t hat. And that pulled her even more. ‘What m ight she have t hought of m e? Won’t she take m e t o be a flirt ? What a disast er that a fellow w oman should be privy to m y waywardness. How can I face her ever?’ ‘For all I know, he could be her convenient cousin,’ as her t houghts insensibly turned t o Tara’s relat ionship w ith the visitor, Roopa’s bitt erness began to wane, ‘They seem to be on fam iliar t erm s aft er all. Her disheveled look and the tim e she took to open the door, that too in lingerie! Didn’t that give her up? It ’s obvious that they were in the thick of it when I w ent there. Of course, her furtive glance at that Impala was a kiss and tell, w asn’t it? Obviously, he’s her param our, oh, Tara!’ As t he possibility of Tara’ s infidelit y inexplicably brought t ranquility t o Roopa’s m ind, she began to review her own view s about Tara. ‘It ’s her affair any way, but what should be my stance? She appears t o be good-nat ured and there is Yadam ma’ s word for t hat . M aybe, she has her own compulsions to take a lover, and why should it bother others, save her husband. Won’t he be in the know of it , aft er all?’ While t he idea induced curiosity in her, Roopa tried to apply her mind to it , ‘Why, t hey seem to be making use of his nuptial bed for t heir illicit sex. Who know s, her man might be ignoring her whoring though privy to her peccadilloes. M aybe, that’s the com prom ise Tara was hinting at .’ ‘Where would her friendship lead m e to?’ thought Roopa t rying to take stock of the sit uation. ‘Won’t Tara t ry to m ould m e into her fold, for company? Hasn’t she dropped enough hint s already at t hat? Is it possible that I may as w ell be t em pted in her infectious acquaintance? But am I hankering for any thrills by t he frills? No, never! Am I not clear about that ! Well, I’m not up for grabs for som e playboy like this guy. Temptations may com e and go but surely I would st ick to m y goal. Let there be no mist aking that.’ ‘But how to go about w it h Tara?’ she thought at length. ‘Well, she is refreshingly int elligent and ineffably at t ract ive and what ’s more I have com e to enjoy her company, haven’t I? Then w hat sense does it make to forsake the pleasure of her friendship when I’m st eadfast in my resolve? But , can I avoid t he peril t hat Tara poses? Why not I take it as a challenge for t he t rue t est of fidelity is coming up t rumps in the face of tem ptat ion by a seducer, as my craving is for romancing with t hat elusive he-m an of my dream s and not to lust as the m istress of some moneyed. That’s for sure.’ How ever, baffled by her own sympathy and underst anding for Tara in spite of her questionable charact er, she thought, ‘one is supposed t o be critical in t hese m at ters, isn’t it?’ She was st ill lost in her reverie when Sathyam cam e hom e in the evening. As the sight of him brought back Ravi into her mental focus, her perceived humiliation at the hands of the t respasser m ade her feel disdainful about her man. “ Are you ill?” enquired Sat hyam anxiously, seeing her dist raught . “ I’ve a headache,” she said holding her head. “ I’ll prepare some coffee for you,” he m oved int o t he kit chen. “ Don’t bother,” she followed him . Aided by her resolve to bury t he past , Roopa soon enough got over that nightm arish experience. -----That afternoon, Roopa was daydream ing about Sandhya’s am our, when Tara cam e calling evoking mixed feelings in her - while her presence irked Roopa for it s associat ion w ith her hum iliation, her persona t ickled her own visualizat ion of lesbianism w ith her. “ Ravi is all praise for you,” said Tara at lengt h, w ith an eye for Roopa’ s reaction. “ Well,” said Roopa. Having noticed a subt le change of expression in Roopa’s face, the result of her effort t o be indifferent , Tara continued, “ He swore t hat he didn’t com e across a more charming wom an than you.” “ Would you mind som e t ea for us now,” Roopa changed the topic. “ Why not we have it a litt le lat er, if you please,” said Tara not want ing to lose the mom entum . “ When are your kids back from school?” said Roopa show ing her indifference. “ Around four,” said Tara eager to get over t he nice talk. “ Yadamm a says t hey’re lovely, like you,” said Roopa “ Why not you see for yourself, shall I send t hem to you?” said Tara laying the t rap. “ Why trouble them , I’d com e som etim e,” Roopa was forced to say. ‘Welcom e but just out of curiosit y, are you thinking of taking up a job?” said Tara. “ I haven’t graduat ed,” said Roopa. “ Never m ind t hat , Ravi is keen having you as his personal secretary and the salary shouldn’t be a const raint, that ’s what he said,” Tara began tentat ively, “ It ’s nice of him but I’m not for it,” said Roopa. “ I think it ’s t oo good an opport unit y to let go. I t ell you his business is growing by leaps and bounds, so you can take your advancem ent for grant ed,” said Tara in her att em pt t o lure Roopa. ‘I told you that I’m not qualified,” said Roopa to dissuade Tara “ Your asset s and abilit ies are qualifications enough. Frankly, any boss would love to have you under his w ings and that makes it a smooth sailing for you all the way up,” said Tara not giving up. “ It ’s t rue that I’m not experienced in life but I guess his offer w on’ t furt her m y idea of life, and as for us, I’m sure, we can have many m eet ing point s to keep m eeting,” said Roopa as though to bring t hat t o an end. “ Ok, leave it but do count me as a well-w isher,” said Tara resignedly. Then t he conversat ion turned general, and Tara left aft er quit e a while, leaving Roopa t o ponder over her double life. At lengt h, pleased w it h herself for having resisted t he seducer as well as the seduct ress, Roopa felt vindicat ed. But she was unm indful of t he fact that in overcoming the t em ptation, she allow ed her resolve for fidelit y to get dent ed. -----Feeling lazy that spring day, Sathyam bunked office, and as was her wont, Roopa w ent out to pick up som e book from the library to the refrain of t he librarian that “ M adam does justice to her subscription.” When she cam e back, she found Sat hyam reading a lett er that she thought was from her in-laws. “ How’s everyone?” enquired Roopa. “ It ’s from Chandrika,” he said, having read it by then. As he gave it to her, she went t hrough that expectantly. ‘M y dear Roopa, I hope this lett er finds you and m y brother-in-law in fine spirits. We got m arried this morning at the Regist rar’ s Office. Only our parent s as w ell as his w ere present as w it nesses. We both missed you to say the least . As you know , if not for your accom modat ion, we would not have m ade it at all. How ever, I did not insist on your presence, as it would be embarrassing t o you in your in-law s’ house. The first thing I am doing aft er reaching hom e is t o pen down m y gratitude to you. What ever happiness life affords m e from now on, I know that I owe it to you. We w ill be leaving for M adras next w eek as he got a job there. After going there, I w ill try t o find a placem ent for m e. M eanwhile with love, Yours Affectionately, Chandrika. PS: Sandhya called on us yesterday and says she m isses you as ever.’ “ You should’ve left it for m e to read,” said Roopa soft ly, folding t he let t er. “ I t hought t here m ay not be any secret s betw een spouses,” he said, taking offence to her statement , which, given the nature of the news the lett er contained, she took it as a t aunt . “ It ’s not about secrets but about court esies, m oreover, it’s not m y secret either. What ever, you shouldn’ t have read m y let t er,” she said coolly. “ Don’t teach m e m anners; I don’t see anyt hing w rong w ith it , as your husband, I’ve every right to know about your affairs,” he tried to defend him self, aggressively though. “ I don’t think t hat by being your w ife, I’ve lost my identit y. I hope you would respect m y privacy in future,” she said firm ly. “ Are you suggest ing t hat I am uncouth?” he said volubly. “ I stat ed a fact, that ’s all,” she said vexed herself. ‘Are you afraid that I m ay cat ch som e m ore skeletons?” he said provocat ively. It ’s the behavioral pat t ern wit h many, in that having com mit t ed an indiscret ion in the first place; they t end to assum e an aggressive posture to provoke an argum ent , as t hough to oblit erat e t he origins of their m isdem eanor that led to the ordeal. “ It ’s not fair at all,” she said t rying to be com posed. “ So, you talk about fairness and all, now I know why you were married off in such hast e, dropping you from the college m id-course,” he said raising his voice. ‘There’s Ramu’s parallel, isn’t it?” she said defiantly. “ His affairs won’t affect us as your sist er’s would,” he m out hed words for an argum ent . “ If that bothers you, you’ re free to divorce m e,” she said t ersely as she went into the kit chen. The unexpect ed turn of events shocked Sathyam , and he realized that it was all of his own making. He thought of apologizing but his pride cam e in the way of compromising w ith his w ife. As a way out of his predicam ent, he w ent out , as though to give her tim e t o cool dow n. When he cam e back, he found food was laid on the table but saw Roopa lying in the bed. “ Oh, come, let’ s have dinner,” he said going her. “ I’ve no stomach for food now ,” she said curtly. “ Leaving you starving, do you think I would fill m y belly?” he said, sit ting beside her. She got up without a word, and he followed her to the table. Aft er t hat silent dinner, seeing her m ake a bed for herself in the hall, he said persuasively, “ Let’ s forget about it .” As she didn’t respond, he repeat ed him self, if only m ore earnestly. ‘M aybe, it’s easy for you,” she said as she laid a m akeshift bed for her. “ I am sorry,” he said sit ting beside her. “ By now I know your sorriness is meant only to obtain bedt ime favors,” she said pushing him away. “ It ’s not so, I am really sorry,” he pleaded holding ont o her. “ Every tim e you say the sam e thing?’ she reminded him . “ Never again,” he said subm issively. “ Then, swear that you w on’t m isbehave w it h m e,” she st ret ched her hand with the palm out stretched. “ I, Sat hyam , the once obedient son of Pat hrudu garu , but now the devot ed husband of Roopa Devi, solem nly affirm not t o hurt my bet t er half in any m anner what soever, et c., et c.,” he said taking her hand. “ If ever you hurt m e again, you can w rit e m e off forever,” she said as though she w ere cautioning him even as he pulled her int o his arm s to affect her surrender. “ Could I ever forgo your favors?” he said as she coyly sank int o his em brace. In surrendering herself thus, she ensured his surrender forever. It ’s t he irony of w oman’s life in that she t ends t o t urn her asset s to her own det rim ent in that while her psyche seeks to see her m an st rong; her inst inct t ries to weaken him . Chapter 10 Sandhya’s Sojourn That Decem ber evening, Sandhya cam e hom e dancing t o the tune, “ Soon I’m going, to see m y darling.” “ When is she com ing?” at lengt h, Damayanthi interrupt ed Sandhya in her mirt h. “ No mumm y darling, it ’s m e t hat ’s going,” said Sandhya still dancing. “ What ’s t he mat t er?” asked Damayanthi. “ It ’s the NCC t hing, I’ ve made it to the state level, and God willing, from there over t o Delhi for the Republic Day parade,” said Sandhya excit edly. “ Congrat s dear,” said Damayanthi hugging her daught er. “ I’m proud of you m y darling,” said Kamalakar w ho cam e by then. “ Oh, if only, I can make it t o the contingent,” said Sandhya dream ily. “ We’re sure you would,” said both the parent s. “ Surely you could’ve already post ed the new s to Roopa,” said Dam ayant hi. “ I thought I would surprise her,” said Sandhya rolling her eyes. Soon, Sandhya landed at Hyderabad’s Langar Hauz camp for t he girl cadet s, and having gone t hrough the rigorous regimen for a week, she made it t o t he Andhra Pradesh contingent . How ever, that Saturday evening, before decamping to Delhi, she left t he cam p t o spend the w eekend w it h Roopa. Though Sandhya was all eager t o reach for Roopa’s arm s, she chose not to hire an auto-rickshaw for she couldn’t resist the t em ptation to relive her childhood days by hopping in and out of the cit y buses. Alighting at Lakdi-ka-pul from the bus she boarded at t he Langar Hauz, she await ed a connect ing service to Chikkadapally w ith the idea of picking up som e bandar laddus on the way. ‘Surely she would have loved t hose kot aiah’s kaajahs even m ore - but then they aren’t sold here,’ she thought fondly rem iniscing in her am our. How ever, she becam e impatient wait ing for the right bus that was lat e in coming. At t hat, she leaned on the railing of the road bridge as though to relieve her anxiety. And soon, she noticed four yout hs crossing the road towards her. As they cam e nearer, she t hought one of them was quite handsom e. It soon dawned on her that they joined the group of waiting com m ut ers only t o ogle her on the sly. When she inst inctively glanced at the at t ractive guy, she found him staring at her unremitt ingly. As t he int ensit y of his enamoured look t ickled her senses, she felt insensibly drawn towards him . When t he city bus barged into the t raffic of their adm iring looks, languidly boarding it from the front, she gave him a longing look that seem ed invit ing to him . Pulled by the passion in her st are, he plunged into the bus on the move, leaving his friends gaping behind. Wading his way up the aisle, he reached where she was seat ed. As though his proxim it y induced a magnet ic force in her body, she rose from her seat im pulsively and st ood beside him in the packed aisle. Though she m ade it appear as a courtesy to an old w oman, he got the m essage and so posited him self behind her. While she felt the pressure of his excit ing, her inviting manner made him eager. Without m uch ado, he ardently pressed against her while she found herself enjoying his exert ions. Galvanized by her acquiescence, he laced her from behind and caressed her m idriff t hat sent her int o a rapturous t rance. When the conductor announced t he arrival of the st age, she pulled herself in spit e of it all, t hus ending their m utual excitat ion. Alighting from the bus dream ily, she sensed t hat he t oo got down behind her. As she walked t owards the sweetm eat shop, she not iced he was following her. It was then that she realized the import of her im pulsiveness and blam ed herself for her indiscret ion. Nevert heless, as he kept pace w ith her, she cam e to be worried about his int ent ions, and aft er picking up som e bandar laddus, as she hurriedly hired an auto, she heard him hailing another. Feeling nervous and fearing t hat she might have got herself into a m ess, w hen she got down at t he dead end of that side lane in Domalaguda, she saw him staring at her from the thoroughfare. Then, alarm ed at his persist ence, she ran up to Roopa’s penthouse. When Roopa opened the door, Sandhya swooned int o her embrace. “ Oh dear, what a windfall it is!” Roopa kept repeat ing am idst a shower of kisses. “ Close the door,” said Sandhya gasping for breath. “ Where’ s t he rest of your luggage?” said Roopa, taking Sandhya’s handbag and lugging at her. “ I’ll t ell you, first close t he door,” Sandhya persisted. With the door closed behind them, Sandhya opened her m ind t o her friend. “ I just can’t believe myself, how did I let all that happen?” concluded Sandhya in confusion. “ It ’s the malady of maidenhood, and I know it s rem edy. Shall I post t he prescription t o your fat her?” said Roopa in jest . “ Here I’m scared to death and you are joking,” said Sandhya in mock anger. “ Let m e see, if your charm er is still there,” said Roopa, herself turning curious, “ Act at your own peril; if he sees you, he would shift his glare and get glued t o your gat e,” said Sandhya having recovered her wit s by t hen. Nevertheless, Roopa peeped out of the window and found someone at beat near the gat e. “ Is he the one?” Roopa asked Sandhya. Peeping out from over Roopa’s shoulder, Sandhya pressed her head to it. “ He’s quite handsom e; no wonder you lost yourself. Why not call him and give your dad’s address,” Roopa half-raised her hand in jest t o t ease her mat e. “ Why are you making it worse for m e?” Sandhya said, holding her hand impulsively. As though to st im ulat e her friend further, Roopa led Sandhya int o the kit chen for coffee, and put t ing all t hat behind, t he m at es focused t hem selves on the endearm ent s of their m eet ing. When they returned into the hall, Sandhya peeped through the w indow and exclaim ed, ‘He’s still there!’ “ It looks like you gave him enough scope to hope for a dat e, and m ore,” said Roopa contem platively. “ I shouldn’t have got int o this m ess at all,” said Sandhya nervous all again. “ Why get upset about it?” said Roopa, and narrat ed her own encount er w it h Ravi in Tara’s house and said, “ It was one of those sm all pleasures of life, isn’t it ? We must learn to enjoy them for w hat they’re w orth.” With the sound of the buzzer then, as her heart m issed a beat, Sandhya ran inside only to rush back after hearing Sathyam’s voice. “ What a pleasant surprise,” Sat hyam greet ed Sandhya. “ I planned it that way,” said Sandhya, and explained her position. “ Wish you all t he best ,” said Sat hyam as he went in. “ Has he gone?” Sandhya whispered to Roopa. “ Yes, t o fet ch a stool,” Roopa whispered back “ Why not offer him a chair,” said Sandhya in jest. “ I envy your friendship,” said Sat hyam to Sandhya, as he rejoined them, having changed into a lungi . “ You’re a part of us,” said Sandhya affect ionat ely. “ Thanks for saying that , I wish I’m your brother,” he said warm ly. “ I would have loved that,” she said ext ending her hand. “ Then you be m y raakhi sister,” he said taking her hand. “ Is it a gang-up on m e?” said Roopa as she cam e w ith som e snacks for them . “ Sandhya, I’ve a com plaint against your friend,” said Sathyam to Sandhya. “ I will go out then,” said Roopa in jest . “ You know that I keep no secret s from you,” he said. “ Neit her I in what matt ers t o you,” said Roopa. “ See Sandhya, she’s ever cut up w it h me,” said Sathyam as Sandhya and Roopa looked at each other furt ively, “ I’m a lit tle crazy, t hat’ s all,’’ said Roopa as though she was clarifying her posit ion all t he same. “ Why don’t you give her some t im e as she’s slow and st eady?” said Sandhya to Sathyam. “ Any way, I couldn’t have hoped for a bet t er w ife t han her,” he said affectionat ely. “ A loving husband too is a rare breed,” said Sandhya holding Roopa’s hand. “ Thanks for t he com plim ent , why don’t w e go out for eat s?” said Sathyam beam ingly. “ You should know that she must be craving for a hom e m eal,” said Roopa. “ That ’s t rue,” said Sathyam. “ We’ll play carom s, Roopa says you’re an expert at it ,” suggested Sandhya. “ You m ay be feeling cram ped in our lit tle place,” said Sat hyam as he arranged the board in t he hall. “ Your heart s are big and t hat ’s w hat m at t ers,” said Sandhya heart ily. “ Glad you think that way,” said Sathyam. “ I fail to understand w hy we should feel apologetic in t he first place. We have what w e have and live within our m eans. For t hose w ho seek com fort s, ours is surely the w rong address. Why embarrass t he genuine w ith these explanat ions,” said Roopa in irritat ion. “ Your friend has failed to add that she lives on her own t erm s,” said Sathyam to Sandhya half in jest . While Roopa didn’t prot est at t hat , Sandhya complim ent ed him , “ you’re classy with your scissors,” and at length, aft er conceding the gam e 29-14, she added, “ you’ re too good a player.” “ You’re really a tough com petitor; why not a revenge gam e?’ said Sathyam appreciat ively. ‘I’m a game for it ,” ’ said Sandhya. “ It ’s long since I’ve played like t his,” he said, winning the challenge round 29-22. “ Since when have you become an expert yourself Sandhya!” said a surprised Roopa. “ I took to carom s as a dist raction,” said Sandhya squeezing Roopa’s hand. Aft er dinner, Sathyam offered t o sleep in the hall. “ No,’ Guests t oo have their right s, don’t t hey?” said Sandhya smiling. “ Don’t worry, I’ll give her company,” Roopa told Sathyam While Sathyam slept, t he mat es got into the act and were awake w ell past m idnight . ----The next m orning, having greet ed Sandhya, Sathyam said, “ I hope you slept well.” “ Only after I allow ed her to,” said Roopa who brought m ilk for him then, and when Sathyam left t o the t oilet , Sandhya paid back the innuendo with a smack on Roopa’s seat . “ Guest s first ,” Sathyam said as Roopa gave him pesarat t u-upma for breakfast. “ Wom en follow suit in our culture, don’t they?” said Sandhya. “ Why not invit e the Ram us for lunch?” suggest ed Roopa, “ They would love to m eet Sandhya, I’ll be back with t hem in no t im e,” he said excit edly. By the t im e Sathyam cam e back with the Ramus, the mates, as though t o make up for the lost tim e, endeared them selves to each other. “ Looks like you don’t have tim e for us anym ore,” Roopa warm ly greet ed the Ramus. “ Of lat e, he’s not even finding tim e for m e and he com es hom e just to sleep. I told him to send m e back to m y parent s’ place and arrange a cot for him self in his factory it self,” grumbled M eera. “ Office is t he natural refuge for a man from his nagging wife,” Ram u said in jest, Aft er t he storm has subsided, Roopa said in int roduct ion, “ This is Sandhya m y soulmat e.” “ Oh, I’m sorry, your nam e is ever on Roopa’s lips,” said M eera a lit tle em barrassed. “ As her other half, I second her stat em ent ,” said Ramu. “ I heard Roopa talk a great deal about you t oo,” Sandhya addressed Ramu holding M eera’s hand. “ We admire your zeal to become an ent repreneur. We all know how difficult it is for som eone to build from the scrat ch that too with none t o back up.” “ Well, it’s a different mat ter w ith families into business for long. In t im e, a new entit y of t he old group would com e up for the brat to lord it over, isn’t it?” int erjected Sathyam, “ That ’s t he advantage of birth and it’s a fact of life,” said Roopa. “ Like it or not t hat ’s t he way of the w orld,” chim ed in Ramu. Aft er a sumptuous m eal that Sandhya savored, they set tled for a round of rum my. “ With Roopa around, t he winner is declared beforehand,“ said M eera, shuffling the packs. “ You people m ake too much out of m y litt le bit of luck,” prot est ed Roopa, picking up her cards. “ Looks like we’ re going t o get sandwiched betw een the friends,” said Sathyam as the opener was grabbed by Sandhya. “ It ’s no more than a beginner’s luck,” said Sandhya smilingly. As Ramu scooted the next deal Roopa t eased him, “ Why withdraw at the very first reverse.” “ Look at your friend’s beaming face; one should be blind not to read her hand in t hat glow, though she holds the cards t o her chest,” said Ramu to Roopa. When it was five in the evening, Sandhya was all set t o leave for Langar Hauz. “ All the best , t o all of you,” she said, preparing to leave. “ Wish the same to you, it ’s nice that we m et ,” said t he Ramus. “ I’ll long for another visit,” Sathyam turned sentim ental. “ M e too,” said Sandhya taking his hand. “ Let m e see her off,” Roopa said get ting into her chappals. “ Why not I go wit h them ,” said M eera to Ramu. “ Let’ s get on with the game, moreover, t hey m ay like to be alone,” said Ramu. As Sandhya looked around furt ively as they stepped out, said Roopa, “ Are you st ill expecting him or what?” “ Who know s?” Sandhya said casually. “ In that case, it’s only fair to favour him for his perseverance,” said Roopa, t easingly. “ So, you’ve becom e a devil’ s advocat e lat ely,” said Sandhya in exasperat ion. “ I’ll see what a daredevil you w ould as M rs. X,” said Roopa, pinching Sandhya. “ That’ s som e way away, but what’ s on in the New Year?” said Sandhya. “ What difference does a New Year make for m e but for the change of the calendar,” said Roopa gravely. “ That way, we never know what surprises life has in st ore for us,” said Sandhya squeezing Roopa’s hand. “ Any way, I’m tired of hoping,” said Roopa resignedly. “ Hope for the best, and prepare for the worst , that ’s wisely said,” said Sandhya. “ Com e the Republic Day, I’ll be there to spot you in the live t elecast,” said Roopa, as t hey reached the bus st op. “ That is if the video-w allahs happen to focus on me,” said Sandhya. “ Why, you have the gait t o parade m en behind you, and your face, can anyone m iss it , even in a crowd!” said Roopa adoringly. “ Romant ic as ever,” said Sandhya pressing Roopa’s hand endearingly. At length, as t he cit y bus was spot t ed, Roopa pressed Sandhya’s hand and said, “ Rem ember t hat I rem ember you.” “ M y longing for you rem inds m e of your craving for me,” Sandhya whispered endearingly into Roopa’ s ear, “ Bye, lovey,” said Roopa as Sandhya boarded the bus. Waving at Roopa, as the bus moved, t hought Sandhya, ‘How lucky t o have a fried and a lover rolled int o one in Roopa. Oh, isn’t it clear that Sathyam is not a m at ch for her, even though he loves her. It looks like she has adjusted t o her life w ith him. What else could the poor thing do?’ Chapter 11 M atch in the M aking Once in Delhi, Sandhya found the wint er harsh and the rehearsals taxing. Nevert heless, the prospect of part icipat ing in the prestigious parade excited her no end. And to uplift her spirit s further, her parent s wired their com ing to the capital t o wat ch t he grand spectacle. Then cam e the Republic Day the nation is wont to celebrat e w it h gust o. M arching on t he Rajpath t hat 26th January morning, Sandhya envisioned Roopa glued to her TV set . Besides, she was conscious about t he presence of her parents, som ewhere in the crowd, w aiting t o see her march past t hem . The thought t hat her dear ones w ere savouring her every st ep enhanced her grace and enlivened her vigor in her smart gait . Soon, a thrilled Sandhya, made it back to the cam p, and wait ed for her parent s in all eagerness. When the delight ed Kalm alakars came to pick her up, she was overcom e with em otion in that joyful reunion. “ We’re proud of you, dear,” said her parent s pat ting her. “ I’m glad you’ve com e,” she nest led t o her mother. “ Are you put up with Rao uncle?” Sandhya said get t ing into the Am bassador. “ Of course,” said Kam alakar. “ Oh, how he used t o tease m e in those days that if he had a son, he would’ve made m e his daught er-in-law ,” said Sandhya, as the Am bassador headed t owards Chanakyapuri. “ He st ill rem em bers t hat ,” said Damayanthi. When the car cam e to a halt in the portico of t he M adhava Raos’ bungalow, the host s cam e out in w elcom e Sandhya. “ What a smart y!” exclaim ed M adhava Rao. “ Charm ing t oo,” said Chit ra Rao in all adm iration. “ Oh, how I regret that we haven’t adopt ed a boy,” said M adhava Rao half in jest . “ We can st ill have her in our fam ily if she’s m arried to Raja Rao,” said Chitra, who got a brainwave. ‘It’s an idea dear, they w ould make a fine pair,” seconded M adhava Rao. “ Is the search on for a suitable boy?” enquired Chit ra “ Now that she’ s in t he final year, I think it ’s t im e w e began the hunt,” said Dam ayanthi in contemplation. “ What ’s t he hurry?” questioned Sandhya coyly. “ Bet you won’t say that aft er meet ing my nephew,” said Chit ra as though t o put ideas int o Sandhya’s head. “ It looks like you’re rooting for him ,” said Kam alakar thought fully. “ That ’s t rue, and his resume speaks for it self,” said M adhava Rao. “ He’ s a Civil Engineer from IIT, Powai, and did his M S in Architect ure at Brooklyn. Now he is a Senior Archit ect at Pioneer Archit ect s, the market leaders. It ’s rare to com e across som eone w ith his talent s. Above all, he has t he abilit y to think. And t hat should make him a good captain t o st eer ashore the marital ship through t roubled waters. However, he’ s tw entyeight, if t hat’ s an objection, as Sandhya could be barely t went y.” ‘I would say he’s handsome to the bone and romantic t o the core,” said Chit ra seem ingly to t em pt Sandhya. “ What about his fam ily background?” said Kamalakar. “ Govinda Rao, his fat her is a GM in Larsen & Toubro’s Bombay Plant,” said M adhava Rao. “ His m other Visala is a fine woman. His sister Hyma and her husband Ranga Rao are both doctors, and they run their Nursing Home in Bombay.” “ Are they propert ied?” asked Damayant hi. “ Like us, they too hail from Konaseema. They have an old house and som e coconut plantat ions st ill at Kot halanka, looked aft er by our uncle Thimmaiah. If not well heeled, t hey are more than middle-class. What’s more, they’re quit e cultured and goodnatured,” said Chit ra. “ Your satisfaction is our sat isfact ion, what do you say Sandhya?” said Kamalakar. “ I st ill say what the hurry is unless you want to drive m e away,” she said shyly. “ He usually drops in on holidays but still I’ ll ring him up,” said Chit ra, pleased at the w elcome developm ent ----As Chit ra was dialing his number, as though the aunt and the nephew were on t elepathic term s, Raja Rao came in. ‘Auntie is sambar on the m enu?” he said, unlacing his shoes in the ant e-room . “ Oh, think about t he devil,” said Chitra. “ Raja, w e’ve a welcom e guest for you,” said a delighted M adhava Rao, When Raja Rao entered the drawing room , Sandhya’s inquisitive gaze greet ed his eager look. She could discern his piercing eyes acquire a lively look in int eraction, which she later realized was frozen in her m ind’s eye. She found his masculinity, enhanced w ith that rom antic face of his, irresist ibly evocative. She felt t hat as his tall fram e and broad shoulders made him look at hletically handsom e, his m edium dark complexion im part ed a rare virilit y to his persona. The cust omary round of int roductions over, Kamalakar asked Raja Rao, “ Why is archit ecture for an IITan?” “ As a child I had been t o m any t emples in the South with my parent s,” The t emple archit ecture seem s to have left a lasting im pression upon me. Though, it ’s much lat er t hat I realized the possibility archit ecture offers as a profession. As you know a welldesigned dw elling cont ribut es to t he qualit y of living,” explained Raja Rao. “ He has an int ellectual bent of mind,” t hought Sandhya, w hile her parent s seem ed visibly impressed with his eloquence. “ What are your hobbies like?” Damayanthi t ook over as the int erviewer. ‘He’ s a jack-of-all-t rades, including hum an psychology,” M adhava Rao com pliment ed, ‘By inference, a m ast er of none,” was the Raja Rao addendum. “ Given your ability to think that’ s no handicap,’’ said Chit ra as though to st ress upon t he obvious. ‘What about your chess?” enquired Kamalakar, an ardent chess player. “ Before I got into bridge, I used t o concent rat e on chess. These days, whenever I find m yself at the chessboard, I play more with my hand t han head,” said Raja Rao. “ Interest ing, but how,” w ondered Kamalakar. “ Like chess, bridge t oo is a scientific gam e. While chess is all about cold logic, in bridge, in spite of your grasp of t he gam e, t he elem ent of uncert ainty lends charm to it,” t heorized Raja Rao. Finding t hat Sandhya wasn’t taking her eyes off him, Raja Rao said, “ You seem t o be a keen observer,” and added after a pause, “ How do you find Delhi?” Seeing the smile in his eyes, she felt shy, but said nevertheless, “ It ’s Capital.” “ Your econom y of expression is adm irable,” he said sm ilingly. “ You must be a well-read person,” said Sandhya in admiration. “ What ever lit tle I read, I read well,” said Raja Rao. ‘His reading includes hand-reading,” said M adhava Rao, as if for Sandhya’s ears. “ Would you let m e read your hand?” Raja Rao asked Sandhya. “ I don’t know if it int erest s you,” she said t rying to gauge his feelings. “ That we’ll find that out aft er dinner,” he said with a sm ile. While all m oved int o t he drawing hall after dinner, Raja Rao stayed back in the dining room as though to rem ind Sandhya about her engagem ent . Gett ing the cue, she rejoined him and w ithout a w ord st ret ched out her left hand for his take. “ M ay I have your right hand,” he suggest ed as if to get her ont o the right t rack. “ When did you take t o palmist ry?” she asked him , as he was feeling her palm all over. “ When I could im agine t he possibilit ies,” he said, looking into her eyes. “ What do you m ean?” she sounded suspicious. ‘The possibilit y of holding hands to read in betw een the lines,” he said tantalizingly. “ So, you’re cleverer by half,” she withdrew her hand ‘Never m ind, you’ve a fine hand that ’s promising,” he said. ‘This could be your stock prediction,” she said t easing him . “ Never before w ith the sam e conviction and feeling,” he said not to be out done. “ You’ re t ruly impossible,” she said in t hat m ock frust ration in which wom en look beaut ifully helpless. “ Honestly, let m e see what it holds,” he said, reaching for her hand. “ Why are you so curious?” she said wit hholding her hand. ‘Just to ascertain your marital prospect s,” he said looking into her eyes. “ But how does that concern you?” she said as though under the spell of his charm . ‘Don’t you think I’m an eligible bachelor?” he said, ardently looking int o her eyes. Dropping her eyes involuntarily, she let him take her hand consciously. “ Lucky is the guy who weds you,” he said t entatively. ‘You’re supposed to predict m y fut ure, but you’re speculating som eone’s fortune,” she said t o point out the faux pas. ‘Hi, Sandhya, the new scast is on. See if you figure in t he visuals,” yelled Damayant hi. ‘Oh, she’s t here, graceful really,” said Raja Rao spotting Sandhya in tim e. ‘Thanks for your complim ent,” she said joyously, turning her head towards him . “ I think, it ’s t im e I get going,” said Raja Rao as he got up aft er the newscast . As he exit ed from t he scene, he wished them all good night. “ Good night,” said Sandhya, inviting his att ent ion. At that, their eyes m et t o convey their disappointm ent at the impending separation. “ M ake it for dinner tomorrow ,” said M adhava Rao who had by then sensed the infatuation that gripped his nephew and the guest . “ I w ould love t o,” said Raja Rao, looking at Sandhya, as her eyes seem ed all of adoration for him . “ Don’t you Ok him?” M adhava Rao asked Kamalakar after Raja Rao had left . “ I feel he’s a capital fellow, what do you think?” Kamalakar pushed the ball into Dam ayanthi’s court . “ I put the ‘c’ in the upper case for Sandhya,” Damayanthi kept the ball rolling. “ We’ll know that from t he horse’s mouth, right now ,” said M adhava Rao with the exaggerated m anner of a compère. “ If you all feel that he’s right for me, he’s fine for m e,” said Sandhya coyly, sinking her head int o The Illust rat ed W eekly of India that she was holding. ‘Leave t he rest to m e and contact your purohit for the sumuhurt ham ,“ said M adhava Rao in all excitem ent. As the elders began recount ing the like incident s of m at chmaking t hey had heard of, none took not e of Sandhya slipping into the guest room t o be on her own. -----Lay up in the bed, Sandhya t ried to fathom t he persona of the man that induced love in her heart . ‘But what about him?’ she thought at length. ‘Isn’t he’s enamored of m e.’ She fondly recalled his disappointed look when he got up to leave, and the way his eyes glowed w it h life when M adhava Rao asked him to come the next day. ‘Was it not ow ing to the prospect of m eet ing m e again,’ she thought endearingly. ‘Why, it’s clear t hat he’s fascinat ed by m e.’ ‘But would he like to marry m e? Were it possible, for him it’s no more than a calflove in the euphoria of our yout hful interact ion?’ she becam e doubt ful and dispirit ed at t hat. ‘Aft er all, he’s smart and is pret t y sure of him self, isn’t he? For all that, he could be a ladies’ m an and not t he marrying t ype, who knows?’ ‘Am I already in love with him? Of course, isn’t there som ething in him that is fascinating,’ she t ried to fathom his persona. ‘Is it his face? Never have I seen a rom ant ic face like that before. Won’t it com pel wom en to admire him even as it evokes pity in t heir souls! M aybe, it ’s that unique feature of his face t hat im part s a rare appeal to his persona.’ ‘Well, there’s much m ore t o his personalit y than his physicality,’ she cont emplat ed. ‘There’s a flowing ease about his m anner as w ell. Though he appears casual, he doesn’t look indifferent . With all his accomplishm ent s, he doesn’t put on any airs. I w onder how he manages to look so confident without a sem blance of arrogance! Wonder how can he sound so firm without appearing adamant? Above all, his persona personifies romanticism abet t ed by his m aleness, doesn’t it? Why, he’s a real he-m an if there was ever one.’ ‘Haven’t I becom e a romantic in his t hought s! If only I become his wife, won’ t I turn passionat e as w ell?’ she t hought coyly. As her imagination surged into romanticism , her t hought s turned to Roopa. ‘Oh, I’m doom ed. He’s a silly guy’ - she recalled Roopa’s words. Having m et the m an who excited t he dormant romantic in her, Sandhya underst ood the t rue im port of Roopa’s predicam ent . The excit ing prospect of her marrying Raja Rao enabled her imagine the disillusionment of Roopa’ s life as Sathyam’s wife. ‘Though I could always feel t he stat e of her m ind t hen, it ’s only now that I’m able t o visualize t he pathos of her heart .’ she thought m elancholically. Caught in the conflict of hope for herself and despair of her m at e, her heart seem ed t o have turned t o love for solace much before sleep could provide it for her. Chapter 12 Poignant M oment ‘What a lovely girl she is!’ thought Raja Rao, for the umpt eenth tim e. ‘M ay not be the ravishing t ype, but surely she’s the charming kind. Above all, she’s a wifely stuff. Won’t I be able to mould her int o a matchless m at e? What if I propose t o her? It looks like w e are of the sam e cast e and that should make mat t ers easy. But then, what of our subsect s? Don’t they seem progressive t o m ind all that . But who knows? Appearances can be deceptive, can’t they? Well, even then, one has still t o reckon with the gothram s that are to be different for a mat ch t o mat erialize. What an irony, the custom that prescribes alliances betw een blood relat ions proscribes sagot hra m arriages! What ’s a gothram , aft er all? If anything, isn’t it a vague concept at its very best, based as it w ere on the precept of lineage of one and all; that too at t ributed t o t he obscure origins of just a score of rishis. What a fanciful not ion it is! Don’t all peoples have their own idiosyncrasies? And yet, all are prone to ridicule others for their peculiar beliefs. Aft er all, w hat is a custom but the prejudice of a polity or a corollary of a religious et hos?’ ‘What ever, she’s sweet and sm art,’ he cont inued turning his thought s towards her, ‘An ideal girl t o take for a wife. Having taken to me in her ow n sw eet way, would she be averse to the idea of marrying m e? Why not seek aunt ie’s good offices as the mat chm aker? Even if she succeeds in brainwashing t hem all, that st ill leaves a quest ion mark in mat ching our horoscopes. Som e half-w it of an ast rologer could make it naught w ith his crude calculations. How this new -found obsession is ruining many a m at ch in t he offing? Well, it ’s only love that has t he power t o maneuver through these encum brances.’ The t hought of the power of love brought back the m emories of t he year-old romance in a t rain journey. ‘Oh! What a lovely lass she was!’ he t hought, and reflected upon that incredible encount er. During that early w int er, he w ent to Khajuraho to st udy the erotic archit ecture of it s sandst one t emples. After a w eeklong stay there, that evening he boarded the GangaKaveri Express at Satna to reach M adras to present his sem inar paper. Aft er exchanging pleasantries with a Father on the side and the trade unionist opposite in that four-berth coupe, he went about polishing his seminar paper well into the night. Next morning, he was lazing by the window enjoying the refreshing landscape of the w ilderness. At around eight , two girls cam e to greet the Father who was engrossed with t he Bible. The one, who was alm ost in, was rat her plain but t he other behind her seem ed tantalizing in her grey sari. With a black shawl draped around, she was a shade darker and an inch taller than her com panion. Direct ing his gaze upon the charm er, he found her graceful though tentat ive in her flowing fram e. As she surveyed the scene, she found him int ent ly staring at her in wonderm ent. It appeared to him from her dem eanor that the craving she espied in his gaze synchronized with the longing his persona insensibly induced in her mind. While her com panion was conversing with the Father, t he young t hing was espying him compellingly at every turn. He saw her enam oured eyes enlarge as though t o accommodat e his admiring stare fixed on her. On occasion, when she int ruded into the ongoing conversation, his ears danced to the tune of her soot hing tone in M alayalam t hat was alien to him . When t he t rain halt ed at som e st at ion requiring the unionist to alight , the girls grabbed t he space t hus creat ed with great relish. But having lost her senses in the ecst asy of their m utual at tract ion, she kept m um while her friend blabbered. Aft er a w hile, as her friend got up to leave, the charmer t oo st ood up as if in a reflex action. How ever, having com e back to her senses, she let her friend go out of t he setting while she stayed back as if t o prolong the event t o savour more of it . Having taken her seat opposit e, she readily got up and sat in t he space between him and the Father to continue her t êt e-à-t êt e with the latt er. The proxim ity of her person and the proclivit y of her posture t riggered an em otional upsurge in his soul that occasioned a craving to caress her fram e. Goaded by his desire to feel his love on her body, he gained her midriff left uncovered by her sari. The response of her flesh to the sense of his touch seemed to have induced warm t h in her fram e that provided solace to her soul. Impercept ibly she readjust ed her post ure as though t o help him explore her st at e to the core. Enthused by her accommodat ion t hat enabled him access her recess, he surged on eagerly bust ling about her but tocks as if they were the mounds of her essence. However, at length, as t hough to address her heart , w hen he reached for her bosom from underneath the shaw l, even as he felt her pulsations, she gave a t urn and dropped the book in hand. And t hat invit ed the attention of the Father. To forestall an inquisit ion, he t hen init iated a discussion on Gibbon’s thesis on the grow th of the Christianity. What with the Father finding t hat ent husing, she was spared of an explanat ion! Having divert ed the Father’s mind to his favorit e subject , he t ried to t ake st ock of the stat e of her m ind. He found her blue in the face as she sw eated in her palm s. Seeing her thus, he cursed him self for being the cause of her fright . So as to alleviate her plight, he reached for his notebook and scribbled his sorriness, and gest ured for her forgiveness, and seemingly feeling his impulse, even in her nonplussed st at e, she glanced at his m essage only t o ignore him thereaft er. Soon she left , st ill dazed, and he rem ained rem orseful and t oo perplexed to follow her to apologize for his rashness but when he recovered from t he shock of her hurt, he vent ured through the vest ibules t o locat e her on the m oving t rain. As he sighted her, at long last, st ill in a st at e of shock, his heart sank into the depths of agony. He got vexed even more as he found her pixilat ed in spit e of all those apologetic gest ures he came up w ith t o soot he her soul. Her indifference m ade him feel worse for her sake. Feeling w ret ched him self, he thought only his love could address her hurt and t heir souls w ould be solaced but in their embrace. But how w ere he t o convince her about t hat? Where w as t he privacy t o pressure her into a love saving embrace? Not t o embarrass her further w it h his fort hright ness, he saunt ered in t he aisle to att ract her att ention. As she failed to yield, he rivet ed near her to make her relent . At length, as though responding to his body language, she looked at him wit h a vacant look t hat suggest ed all was over between them. So as not to com pound her m isery with his em barrassing presence, he left her w it h a heavy heart . Back in the coupe, he sat dist raught in her thought. As he cursed him self for his misdem eanor, his craving for her pardon got accentuat ed. While his rem orse helped nourish his love for her, nevert heless, he suffered on that score. Just the sam e, he didn’t dare venture to see her again, fearing he m ight m ake her suffer even m ore. And it’s t hus; he never knew where her journey had ended and when her ordeal was over. But t hat incident, however, haunt ed him for weeks on end. ‘Wasn’t it a case of love at first sight that induced a sense of mutual belonging in us,’ he rem inisced presently. ‘No denying it, though. I should’ve befriended her before proposing, and she couldn’t have refused for sure. M aybe by now, we could have been expect ing our first -born. Who know s?’ ‘But, why did it all go haywire?’ he thought in regret all again. ‘I lost m y head and w ent wayward on her body, didn’t I? What led m e to m islay my hand on her? Was it ow ing to the craving of my flesh or the urge of m y love? Possibly it was the passion of m y soul to possess her that t riggered it all. Unt il it all ended in a huff, didn’t we enjoy a sm ooth ride on the silken path of love? Wasn’t m y urgency t o close in on her breast s t hat alienat ed her heart, once and for all? M aybe, I was com pelled t o feel t he rhythm of her heart beat s rhym ed by the em ot ions of her love for m e. What a fall it was, after a dream start ! Oh, what an ignom inious end it was aft er t hat ecst atic beginning.’ ‘When she was as recept ive t o my caress at her seat ,’ he always thought in puzzlem ent , ‘why was it that she found m y hand on her breast so offensive? But how could she have expect ed m e t o envisage the borders of her sensit ivit y in m y stat e of excit ation? True, she would have felt that I t ransgressed; yet she couldn’ t have failed to feel the pulse of my love in the nuances of m y touch. Didn’t m y heart descend on my hand to vent its love on her fram e! And how it rushed t o m y mout h seeing her disjoint ed! Why did she choose to punish m e with banishm ent for t he failings of my love inspired by her own persona? How she thought I deserved the desert s! Why didn’t she pardon m e, finding m e repentant?’ He racked his brains for an answer t hat he never got but was sunken whenever he recalled t hat episode, ‘Had she pardoned m e, how rejoicing it would have been for bot h of us! Seeing m e ecst atic, she should’ve been deliriously joyous, and w hat a t rium ph of love t hat could have been! But that wasn’t t o be. What should’ve been a fairy tale romance ended as an unmit igat ed disast er for both of us.’ ‘What could be her nam e? What a pity t hat t he m ost ardent love I’d ever experienced should remain a nameless m em ory!’ he often thought in despair. That nam eless m em ory present ly took his thought s to an earlier encount er with Jaya, again in a t rain journey. He was going to Gunt ur, by the Circar Express, aft er holidaying w ith his grandfather at Kothalanka. Seeing him reading Walden, a young girl borrow ed the book from him to have a look at it. However, after leafing through a few pages, she said that the st uff was t oo st iff for her head. At the next halt, she w elcomed her friend, whom she was obviously expecting. Her friend had mem orable eyes that moved him. He always knew t he eyes that speak insensibly drew him to the endow ed wom an. If t he wom an were to be dusky as well, w it h a t inge of sadness in her dem eanor, well, he would find her all the more bewit ching. “ M ay I know your nam e?” he asked t he new comer, w ho seem ed to find him equally att ractive. “ What for?” she quest ioned him spirit edly. “ To pin your thought s on to it,” he said mem orably. “ Jaya,” she said coyly. Though t hey exchanged many an ardent glance during that long journey besides their addresses, t heir inclinat ions w ent the way all acquaintances made in the t ravel tim es go - into m emory banks. Even though their mutual liking during a journey might enthuse t he heart s of infatuat ed co-t ravelers, once it ’s over, unsupport ed by the habit that sust ains a relat ionship, their enthusiasm for each other insensibly wanes, pushing the nascent ardour on to the back burner. ‘Well, even that m inor attraction has a name to rivet upon, but t his unique happening would rem ain a nam eless m emory,’ he was wont to wonder. ‘Why not give her a nam e? Why not I christ en her Swapna, the dream one?’ Once he pondered over t he proposition and gave up in t he end realizing that even the m ost evocative nam e w ouldn’t move him since she didn’t lend her voice to it . While he reached his flat w ith that reflect ion, once he hit the pillow , Sandhya reoccupied his m ind, ‘Surely there’s som ething in her t hat induces a serene desire t hat ’s conducive t o peaceable love life. If only she were to be m y wife, how blessed I w ould be.’ Hoping t o make Sandhya his w ife and envisaging the charm s of a life with her, in t im e, Raja Rao slept expectantly. Chapter 13 W edding Season When t he postm an cam e to deliver Sandhya’s let t er t hat M arch end, Roopa nearly grabbed if from him to his am usem ent. ‘M y Lovey, Pardon m e for m y negligence in spit e of a couple from you. With m y exam s nearing, I w asn’t in the right mood to w rit e to you. But now, there’s great news to convey to you. I was engaged only t his evening t o Raja Rao. Yes, I’m not able t o believe it m yself! We happened to meet in Delhi when I w ent there. Why imagine, it ’s an arranged m at ch, w ith a lit t le bit of love thrown in by us t o spice it up. He is an archit ect in Delhi, and m y father t hought it fit to entrust m e to his const ructive care even as my heart is enthused by his romantic designs. There’s only one jarring not e, though, as you know. I have t o move over to Delhi, far away from you. I’m hopeful of coaxing him in tim e to shift our base to Hyderabad. The wedding is slated for 7th June and needless to say, I need you here before the count down comm ences. Convey my regards t o m y brother contained in this, need I say, the let t er of m y life. How ever, I shall send t he custom ary invitat ion card to M r. & M rs. Sathyam in due course. M y love to all of you® Ever yours® in wait ing, Sandhya.’ Roopa reread Sandhya’s lett er that induced m yriad feelings in her – w hile gloating over her mat e’s fort une in finding the right man, she was depressed visualizing the effect Sandhya’s marriage might have on her own life. How ever, st ruck by the sent ence in Sandhya’s hand, ‘Why im agine things, it ’s an arranged mat ch, w ith a lit tle bit of love thrown in by us t o spice it up’, Roopa began thinking, ‘Can there be a sweeter way t o state one’s love. Isn’t everything about Sandhya sweet for that matt er? Sweet too must be t he beau she has chosen. Why, Raja Rao could be smart er t han the guy who at tract ed her here. Int elligent he m ust be for Sandhya wouldn’t suffer fools. Surely he must be a dynam ic charact er, as she doesn’t fancy sluggards. Somehow his nam e too sounds nice though old fashioned. But Sandhya could have m ade ‘Raja’ his pet nam e that is for sure. Oh, how am I to address him ! Raja might sound too fam iliar, isn’t it ? All the sam e, Rao would seem t oo form al, won’ t it ? But how does he look aft er all?’ Then she t ried to visualize Raja Rao’s persona as per her own proclivities but soon enough gave up in despair for want of any picture of her own dream man. ‘Why didn’t it occur to her to post his phot o? Or at least, she should’ve w rit t en a line or t wo about him as her love capt ured him ,’ she thought at length. ‘She surely would have a joyous married life. Isn’t it reason enough for m y rejoicing? But then, t hey w ould be far away in Delhi. So I won’t be able to share her blissful m om ent s. How can it be helped, aft er all?’ How ever, as t he thought of t he distance depressed her all the more aft er her visualization of t heir joy, she felt, ‘M oreover, won’ t Sandhya’ s ardour for her m an insensibly dam pen her ardency t owards m e, sooner than lat er?’ As she was st artled at t hat , the fear of an erotic gulf bet ween her and her mate froze her ‘No, it won’t be the case,’ she t ried to revive her spirit s as she recalled Sandhya’s w ords. “ I love you enough to need you t oo,” that’s what she promised, didn’t she?’ ‘What if the aura of Raja’s virilit y cast s a shadow on her lesbian leanings,’ it dawned on her t o her despair. ‘Oh, if I were to lose her, what would I be left with t o live for? How cruel that would be for m e. But what else could I do than keep my fingers crossed.’ The melancholy of the mom ent brought the m emories of her fam ily, and she found herself rem iniscing, ‘Could there have been a bet t er couple t han them that ever parent ed? But how do w e, their children fare? Suguna and her husband are a cont ent ed lot, living wit hin their lim itations, one m ight call t hem colorless, but of what avail is all the color in life, if it can’t provide a shade of happiness t o it ! Well.’ As t hough to cont rast her own life, she thought about Chandrika, ‘Didn’t she dare t o be different and staked everything for love. What love should’ve given her in return?’ Com pelled by curiosit y, she thought of w rit ing to her to att end Sandhya’s w edding, even as her t hought s t urned t o her brother, ‘Well, he want s to becom e an engineer, good luck to him, oh, how I craved t o be a doctor.’ Recalling Rukm ini’s fondness for her as her childhood m emories cam e in torrent s, she thought , ‘Perhaps, she’ s the luckiest of us all, well, the dead have no problem s to cont end w ith.’ How ever, her reverie was broken when Ram u arrived towards the evening. “ I thought Sathyam would’ve com e back by now,” he said. “ It ’s t im e for him to com e,” as she said, they heard Sathyam’s Lambret ta. “ I’ve some mixed news for you; sadly, m y plans to acquire a unit here fell flat in the end, but t hanks to the second string of m y bow, I could take over one in M adras. We w ould have loved to be here but w ell, t he opportunity lies elsewhere,” said Ramu. “ Wish you all t he best , but w e’ll m iss you,” said the Sathyam s after congratulating Ramu heartily, “ You know, that our feelings are no different,” said Ramu, embracing Sathyam . “ I know what a tight schedule it could be. St ill I hope you would spend som e t im e w ith us before you leave,” said Roopa to Ram u, and turning to Sathyam, she added, “ Sandhya’s m arriage is slat ed for 7t h June.” “ Good new s galore, who’s t he lucky groom?” said Sathyam. “ An architect in New Delhi,” she said. ‘So, she needn’t pay for the design of her sw eet hom e,” Ramu said heart ily. “ We can ask him for a decent discount for yours,” said Roopa in jest . ‘That would be a favour; for reference and record, w hat ’s his nam e?” said Ram u am usedly. “ Raja Rao,” said Roopa, inexplicably thrilled in pronouncing his name, and seeing the sat isfact ion in Ramu, she began envisioning the measure of Sandhya’s happiness, only t o end up t hinking about her ow n unfulfilled life, ‘Why did life fail m e, after all? Why has it denied m e that life-filled mom ent to let m e feel fulfilled?’ ----That midsumm er though Roopa was in heat to meet Sandhya, as her apprehensions about losing her mat e after her m arriage bogged her, she felt like post poning the t rip t o Kakinada until the very end. How ever, as her love for Sandhya prevailed over her fear of herself, she set out on her journey as scheduled. “ I’ll be reaching there on t he 5th,” said Sathyam, as he waved her off at the Secunderabad Railway Station that m id M ay. On reaching hom e t he next m orning as Roopa hit t he pillow, her parent s thought that she m ight have had a sleepless journey. However, finding her languid even by noon, said Janaki, ‘I’m surprised you didn’t rush to Sandhya. Are you ill or what?’ “ I’m a bit lazy but it ’s t im e I left ,” she said, and w ondered, ‘What is bothering m e aft er all?’ Before she could get a clue to her lethargy, Sandhya cam e in like a hurricane. “ I couldn’t wait any longer,” said Sandhya ent icingly. “ I’ve never seen her so dull,” said Janaki as she left them on their ow n. “ Congrat s,” said Roopa ext ending her hand, though besieged as she was by a st range t ransformation brought about by Sandhya’s sight. “ I won’t have it that way,” said Sandhya m ischievously folding her hands at her back. ‘Don’t you know I’m cut up with you for not describing the valorous m an who conquered your heart,” said Roopa feigning anger. “ I want your second opinion, so wait to see him ,” said Sandhya m irthfully. “ How unfair are you! I’ll warn him that you are clever like w hen even pinned down on the back, yet you would claim a w in by crossing your legs over the vict or’s back,” said Roopa. “ He’s too smart to out smart both of us put together,” said Sandhya sm iling in rem iniscence. “ So, it w ould be int erest ing,” said Roopa enthusiastically. “ What ’s lacking now?” crooned Sandhya, pushing Roopa’ s head into her valley. “ Why are you dull, m y lovey?” said Sandhya finding Roopa numb in her em brace. “ I don’t know but I’m out of sort s really,” said Roopa melancholically. ‘I can underst and what’s bot hering you; I can visualize what his love m ight m ean to m e but I know I need you as m uch as I would need him ,” said Sandhya with convict ion. ‘Thank you lovey, I love you all the more for our love,” said Roopa in gratification. With t he fears t hus dispelled from her m ind, Roopa went on devouring the lips that ut t ered t hose reassuring w ords. Then the rosy lien on t heir love seem ed to have lent a new vigor to their libido as they indulged to t he hilt. When Chandrika landed a week later, Janaki turned sentim ental all again, “ She brought it upon herself, this ost racized exist ence. We can neither invit e them to our house nor can w e go t o their place.” “ Don’t worry, world is changing,” said Chandrika, assuring her mother. ‘I don’t see any but how I w ish it does,” said Janaki going into the kit chen sobbing. “ I love to hear about your love life,” said Roopa unable to hide her eagerness. ‘We’ll com e to that lat er but t ell m e how your married life is,” said Chandrika. ‘It’s routine with the capital R,” said Roopa. And suddenly Janaki rejoined her daught ers with a rejoinder, “ One shouldn’t forget the fuss Roopa made about the mat ch. And you didn’t heed our advice.” “ Why do you rake up the past?” Ramaiah, who w as within an earshot , reprim anded his w ife. “ One m ust know that the path of the fut ure is laid on the t racks of t he past ,” retort ed Janaki. “ Let’ s go to Sandhya’s place,” Roopa proposed t o her sist er after a while. The m om ent they st epped out, Roopa was impatient. “ Tell m e now,” she said in all urgency. “ Life in a nut shell is challenging as w ell as charm ing. It’s as though the complexit ies of life are com pounded in exogam ous marriages. At tim es, it feels that the risk was wort h t aking, and on occasion, it seem s it’s all a bad bargain. There w ould be depressing mom ent s to go through as w ell as excit ing events t o gloat over,” said Chandrika. “ But for mine, I suppose, t hat ’s t he way with most marriages,” said Roopa a lit tle disappointed. “ No way,” said Chandrika in explanat ion, “ inter-cast e marriages would throw up m yriad problem s. We encount er sensit ive situat ions and face peculiar pressures alien t o t he arranged unions. To make it worse, there are ext ernal factors t hat could upset our apple-cart s. All of us have personal preferences st eeped in our upbringing t hat are shaped by our respect ive communal et hos. In endogamous m arriages, the commonality of cultural att itudes could limit the deviat ions in personal proclivities. But the exogam ous marriages won’t have the in-built limit sw it ches to keep the couple on course. We have to fend for ourselves in the pat hless woods of personal prejudices. The spouses should be on guard always, lest som e casual remark of one should hurt the comm unal sensitivit ies of t he other. All t his w ould only m ean t hat one couldn’ t be his or her nat ural self in a given situation. On the posit ive side, however, it m akes us m ore responsive to others’ sensibilit ies.” “ Now I can understand,” said Roopa w ho was all ears for Chandrika. “ Once we opt for an int er-caste marriage,” Chandrika continued, “ it’s as if we have burnt our bridges and cold-shouldered all shoulders to cry over. Unable t o relieve ourselves from our pressures, we only help t hem build up to the breaking point . We cry in the privacy of our dw elling, afraid that t he world would laugh at us if found want ing. Though it m ight provide a vent t o the woman, it w ould invariably vex the m an for that t ends t o suggest t o him that it’s all his making. We develop a siege m entalit y and im agine everyone want s to see us fail. We feel as t hough t he world doesn’t want us to succeed so as t o make an exam ple out of us for ot hers to desist from vent uring. All this put s pressure on us to make it right as though marriage is a task to be fulfilled. Forced to rest rain ourselves, w e int eract select ively stalling our social integration.” “ Don’t his people support you?” Roopa asked with concern. “ In a way yes,” said Chandrika nostalgically, “ but those w ho happen to com e close t o us t end to be a hindrance than of any help. If the w ife were to be from an upper caste, t hen the man is congratulat ed, making her feel hum iliat ed as a sym bol of the cast e conquest. Well, one should understand their psyche burdened by their collective hum iliation caused by the age-old exploitat ion of t heir wom en by the m en of the upper cast es. Seen from their perspect ive, it ’s as if one of their clan has in som e way avenged for all of them by roping in an upper cast e female for his cohabitat ion. If on the ot her hand, the marriage w ere to be m organatic, then they condescend to descend as though showing the wife’s place in the privileged sett ing. In subtle ways, the societ y, by and large, would ensure that w e carry the cross with the odd-couple com plex all along.” “ So, what’s your balance sheet like?” said Roopa in apprehension. “ On the whole, it does seem a profitable account, t hough it needs quit e a lot of reconciliat ion,” said Chandrika. “ I hope you aren’ t regrett ing,” said Roopa. “ Oh, no; but if I’ve to decide all again, I might think tw ice over, and yet go the sam e w ay. The thrill of being different gives a halo to our m arriage in spit e of everyt hing, t hough the pressures constant ly lead us on a razor’s edge,” said Chandrika sincerely. “ What is he like?” asked Roopa. “ He is quit e m ature; it ’s his m aturit y and m y m ot ivat ion that’s carrying the day for us. Ot herw ise, we w ould have called it quits a long while back,” said Chandrika as her affect ion for him filled her voice. By the t im e t hey reached Sandhya’s place, Roopa was excit ed about the challenges t hat her sist er’s life posed. However, in t im e, seeing her sister’s adventurous life against t he backdrop of her dull marital exist ence, she felt depressed all again. That they didn’t find Sandhya at hom e only furt her spoiled her mood, and as they walked back home, Roopa kept mum all along. “ I’ll take you to the doctor, don’ t go anywhere in the evening,” Janaki told Roopa as t hey had t heir lunch. “ Why, what for?” Roopa feigned innocence. “ Don’t you realize it ’s nearing t wo years now but there are no signs of it yet ,” scowled Janaki at Roopa. “ What ’s t he hurry?” said Roopa unable t o share her m other’s anxiety. “ M aybe, they’re having an ext ended honeymoon,” said Chandrika in jest . “ When would your t ummy show up?” said Roopa t o Chandrika. ‘Bear with us, we are at it,” said Chandrika, laughing. M any a t im e, it did cross Roopa’s mind that a child should have filled her em ot ional void. However, Sathyam , in spit e of his disappointm ent, felt t hat a t rip to t he doct or was prem ature. Chapter 14 Veil of Fate The countdown to Sandhya’s wedding comm enced w ith the arrival of t he m arriage part y on that 6t h June. The groom’ s entourage felt the official clout of Kamalakar, who by then becam e the Dist rict Collector. Officials worked overtim e t o spruce up the governm ent guest -houses for the occasion. Fleet s of departm ent vehicles were lined up at a hailing dist ance from the guest s. The kalyana m andapam was so made up as to resem ble t he durbar hall of a maharajah’ s palace. Att endant s in their scores sw arm ed t he place to be on hand for assort ed errands. Sandhya was wondering how to int roduce Roopa t o her fiancé. She couldn’t take her t o him, as cust om ordained that a bride shouldn’t m ove out of t he house on t he eve of her m arriage. She w ished that he w ould com e hom e to see her but the norm s left no scope for that either. “ What about going to the guest -house on the sly,” said Sandhya t o Roopa. “ Why not, if you don’t mind m e being labeled a groom -chaser,” said Roopa in jest . As t hey w ere wondering what to be done, Sandhya’s m other called her, “ O, Sandhya, com e down.” “ She won’t let me be on m y own even t oday,” grumbled Sandhya as she went down. Springing down the stairs in irritat ion, Sandhya saw her fiancé follow ing her movem ent s from the drawing room . Even as her daydream ing brought him closer t o her in her consciousness, she was st ill shy in his presence for the lack of int imacy. Thus, st opping in her t racks, she blushed to her roots. “ You look sw eet er than ever,“ he com plim ent ed, going up to her. “ Thanks,” she said coyly. “ It ’s I who should t hank you for accepting m y hand,” he said taking her hand. “ It ’s you who started it all, by taking m y hand t o read in bet w een the lines,” she t urned coquet tish. “ What of your invit ing gest ures then,” he said looking into her eyes. ‘Don’t t ell m e, you’re blindfolded otherwise,” she said all sm iles. “ Won’t your beauty impart vision even t o the blind?” he said squeezing her hand. ‘Oh, com e on, I’ve a t reasure to show you,” she said enthusiast ically. “ I thought you’ve more than one but why a premat ure display?” he said mischievously. “ Behave like a bridegroom, don’t act like a playboy,” she scolded him in m ock anger. “ Hope you won’t fram e rules for our nuptial night and thereaft er,’ he said, and as she t urned coy, picking up from where she had left, he added, “ Tell m e, what’s that you want t o show m e?” “ Sim ply follow m e,” she led him sprightly to her room. “ Won’t t hat be m y lifelong occupation?” he followed her smilingly. When Roopa heard their st eps, rat her instinctively, she kept her inquisitive gaze door-wards. In tim e, when their eyes m et , her gaze was frozen and he stopped in his t racks. As Sandhya was about t o initiat e introduct ions, her m ot her called her again and hurried by her from downst airs, she left her fiancé and her mate t o fend for them selves. As t hough guided by her charm s, Raja Rao found him self walking up to Roopa w ithout taking his eyes off her even as she stood root ed and fixed her gaze at him as t hough the slight est tilt on her part might distract his path of at t raction. How ever, as he neared her, she insensibly ext ended her hand as though to ensure he wouldn’ t t rip in his t rance. While he took her hand, as if t o hold on t o the sum m it of his life, energized by her dormant desire, she found herself pressing it in all eagerness. As t hey held their hands thus, their eyes were locked, conveying to each other t he convulsions of t heir heart s. Lost as they were in their enam ored st ate, they had no words for each other but heaving a sigh on hearing Sandhya’s approaching st eps, as though to alert him, she pulled out her hand and wrenched her look. At that, as if cut off from the life force it self, his heart was seized and his hand dropped. “ This is Roopa, m y t reasure,” said Sandhya to him , patt ing her friend while she herself pant ed, “ He’s Raja m y beau.” ‘Anyway you look at it, it’s a privilege to possess,” he said t o Sandhya ext ending his hand to Roopa. “ What ’s t hat ?” said a perplexed Roopa. ‘That I’ ll t ell you lat er but now take his hand to cem ent our friendship,” said Sandhya. Roopa didn’t need any furt her persuasion t o recapture the thrill of the past m om ent . “ If you feel I’m your bet t er half, I m ay say she is m y ot her half,” said Sandhya to her beau, lacing Roopa. “ What a value addit ion that’ s going to be?” he said m eaningfully. “ No less for us, you being our friend, philosopher, and guide,” said Sandhya taking Roopa’s other hand. “ What a pleasurable role t o play,” he said to Sandhya even as he tight ened his grip on Roopa’s right hand. “ I’m fortunat e t o be part of both of you,” said Roopa dreamily. In tim e, called by Kamalakar, all three w ent down, the spright ly bride leading and the enamored souls falling behind. “ I suppose you’re finding it tough grappling with our coastal hum idity,” Kamalakar greet ed Raja Rao. “ Short of alt ering the climat e, sir, you’ve done everyt hing for us. Thanks a lot ,” said Raja Rao warm ly. “ What do you say about your honeym oon at Kodaikanal?” said Kamalakar to Raja Rao. “ I’ve m y Kothalanka in m ind, that is if you agree,” said Raja Rao looking at Sandhya. “ You could enjoy the scenic beaut y of Konaseem a, and for me it w ould be like start ing our life where I cam e into being.” “ I love that for I’ ve heard that Konaseema rivals Kerala for it s landscape,” said Sandhya, seem ingly excit ed. “ If it suits you bot h, it’s Ok with us,” concurred in Kam alakar. “ Looks like our purohit is m issing m e, I bet t er get going,” said Raja Rao as som eone cam e to fetch him While Sandhya saw him off w ith an endearing look, Roopa seem ed lost with a forlorn feeling, and after he went out of sight, Sandhya led Roopa to her room for exchanging not es. “ Won’t you find him handsom e?” said Sandhya excit edly. “ He’s better than m y dream m an,” said Roopa inciting Sandhya t o kiss her in response. “ Now I’ve to leave as Chandrika want s m e for som e purchases,” so bluffed Roopa gripped by an urge for solitude. How ever, Sandhya, who want ed to share m ore about her beau wit h her m at e, t ried t o hold her longer, and Roopa, aft er spending som e tim e with her m ate in her absent minded st at e, could eventually persuade her to let her go. “ Go now but tomorrow I won’t st ir from m y bed t ill you com e,” said Sandhya, reluctantly set ting her free. ‘Don’t worry, if you don’ t show up in t ime, he would com e to drag you all the way to t he altar,” said Roopa as though att uning her m ind to Raja Rao’s proclivities. ‘Isn’t he the one?’ thought Roopa, closing her eyes as if t o hold him in her m ind’s eye. She felt as though the man she vaguely craved all along cam e in his form and as t hough infat uat ion it self was enam ored t o feel t he pulse of their love in tandem, it induced Raja Rao int o reverie to review his feelings. ‘Oh, what a face and the figure to mat ch it, as well!’ he thought excit edly, ‘a woman w ith a woman’s body, as Dostoyevsky put it , is she not? And what about that bewit ching sm ile, w ell, what a fascinating woman she is!’ ‘It’s as though he cam e straight out of my heart t o delight my eyes,’ Roopa t hought in am azem ent . ‘New, yet so fam iliar, unknown, but doesn’t it feel as if he is my own! Oh, how it tickles, as though his gaze gauges m e nude! Yet, I felt prot ect ed in his presence! Well, he’s t he Raja of m y heart and soul, there’s no mistaking t hat .’ ‘It feels as t hough we’ re born for each ot her,’ he felt hopeful. ‘ It’s clear that she’s att ract ed t o m e. Won’t her eyes carry the poetry of her passion for m e? To get infatuat ed, or to love even, is one thing, and an affair is altogether different . But m ercifully, I wouldn’t be losing t rack of Roopa, unlike that Ganga-Kaveri girl. What an incredible fort une to m eet this one so soon after losing that one! There could be a chance to make her m y own som eday, who know s?’ ‘Wasn’t my hand languid in his clasp as if to feel t he pulse of his love,’ Roopa sighed as she recalled the sensation of that incredible m om ent . ‘Didn’t his touch, touch the w oman in m e? And when he pressed m y hand with passion, wasn’t I possessed for his possession. If only I weren’t married and he hadn’t been bet rothed, oh, what should’ve com e in the way of our wedding? But w ell, I have t o suppress m y love, if not for fidelity, at least for friendship.’ ‘Even if I can’t live with her, I would be able to love her still,’ he felt peaceful in the end. ‘If I w eren’t dest ined to have her, w ell, my passion in tim e could t ransform into a sublim e affect ion for her. Being privy to our mut ual affection, won’t w e nurse a fond feeling for each ot her? But then, would my dist ract ion for Roopa affect m y att raction for Sandhya? No; don’ t I know that my love for Sandhya springs from t he depths of m y soul. Surely, Roopa seem s to rein in m y heart, but won’t Sandhya rem ain it s queen? ‘Thank God,’ she consoled herself. ‘We would have enough opport unit ies to m eet . Won’t I see him and be seen by him? So, I would be able to adore him while he adm ires m e. All said and done, isn’t he m ine, being Sandhya’s man? Won’t I get a feel of him w hile I m ake love t o her?’ ----As day broke that 7th June, the chain of cerem onies leading t o t he m om ent ous w edding comm enced in right earnest t hat is even as Sandhya clung t o Roopa all the w hile. “ I’m too excit ed to be on m y own,” Sandhya repeat ed all along. “ Your marriage gives m e an idea of Rat hi – M anmath’ s mythical wedding,” said Roopa heartily. “ You being the attendant angel,” said Sandhya. “ Of an enamored kind,” said Roopa alluringly as Sandhya laced her endearingly. By dusk, it was din at the kalyana mandapam . Clad in a whit e silk dhothi, Raja Rao obeyed the unceasing commands of the purohit, ut t ered in sonorous Vedic chant s, but even as his hands w ere handling the marital rituals to the rhythm ic rendit ions, robot like, his angavastram had a tough tim e balancing it self on his bare shoulders. At length, as Sandhya, seated in a bam boo basket , was brought near him on the decorated dais, by four of her uncles, all the way from the ant eroom, and well before they could unload t he pret t y load opposit e him , a m akeshift curtain was raised in bet ween them t o preclude their ogling before the auspicious m om ent . When Kam alakar’ s wat ch, set to t he AIR tim e, indicated 08.26, the chosen sumuhurtham from the Pedda Purnaiah’ s almanac, Raja Rao was given the green signal by t he purohit . Governed by his dest iny and guided by the purohit , Raja Rao’s hand, carrying the sacred past e, prepared for the occasion as per the custom , reached out to Sandhya, from underneath the curtain. Goaded by Roopa, the bride bowed her head to enable the groom to affix t hat m ass on her scalp to init iate their union and in turn, Sandhya was direct ed t o follow suit, as though to cem ent their m arital bondage. Then doing away with t he curtain, the purohit ordained t he just m arried t o st ay put in that posture as though to allow them tim e to grasp the import of the m om ent t o t heir event ual life. Amateur phot ographers, from am ong the relatives, vied for vantage posit ions w ith t he professional ones engaged for the occasion, and in their eagerness t o capture the mom ent for the family album s, they t ended to block the view of the vintage event to t he curious audience. When t he couple was allowed to free their hands, they raised t heir heads t o espy each other as m an and wife. Aft er having been satiat ed w ith Sandhya’ s dem eanor, when Raja Rao’s eyes m et Roopa’s stare, they seem ed to acquire a longing look, and sensing his ardor for her in her enam ored state, Roopa felt as t hough t he mom ent belonged to her as w ell. M eanwhile, t he mangalasut rams, sym bolizing the nuptial knot, were taken around by the chota purohit t o enable the married w omen t o bless them . In tim e, as the junior brought t he blessed t hings back to his senior, Raja Rao was ready t o usher Sandhya into t he dream of her life. While Roopa maneuvered t he flow er-decked plait of the bride, Raja Rao st ood up to tie t he blessed things round Sandhya’ s shapely nape, and before he proceeded, Roopa heard him whisper t o his bride, ‘W ith your permission.’ As Roopa looked at him in adm iration for his ingenuit y, he raised his head and gazed at her in fascination. Puzzled by his manner, as Roopa wondered whether he had her t oo in m ind w hen he sought that ‘permission’ , Sandhya bent her head even more, as t hough t o salute him for his thought ful gest ure. While t he rit uals last ed a lit tle longer, fuelling the longing of t he newly-w eds for each other, as they w ere given the green signal to show er the t alambraalu over each ot her’s heads, the respective cam p followers egged them on for one-upmanship. Finding Roopa helping his bride to gain the upper hand, as Raja Rao cried foul, Sandhya retort ed, ‘didn’t I t ell you that she’s m y ot her half’ and increased the t em po, unm indful of his furt her protests. What with the euphoria that followed am used t he gathering no end, and as a fist ful of the sacred rice, let loose from Raja Rao’s hand, landed on Roopa’s head as well, she wondered whether it was m erely accidental! Reflexively looking for Sathyam, she found him engrossed in a conversat ion with som eone in the gat hering. When it was t im e for the gathered to greet t he newly married, Roopa joined her husband. “ This is Sathyam , Roopa’s husband and my raakhi brother,” Sandhya joyously int roduced him to Raja Rao. “ Thanks for com ing,” said Raja Rao, while he shook hands with Sathyam , and as Roopa scrut inized his demeanor to discern the nuances, he added, “ It ’s a pleasure m eet ing you t wo.” ‘Didn’t it sound like ‘ you t oo’ ?’ thought Roopa staring at Raja Rao, ‘It ’s as if he won’t miss an opport unit y for a double ent endre! Isn’t he at it ever since w e m et ? M aybe, t hat could be part of his charm .’ What’s m ore, she thought Raja Rao’s eyes w ere sm iling as t hough to confirm that she got it right . “ We wish you spend som e t im e with us on your way to Delhi,” invit ed Sathyam, as Roopa’s face light ed up. “ Thanks, we’ll t ry, but,” said Raja Rao “ Why don’t you recomm end,” said Roopa to Sandhya imploringly as Raja Rao read t he disappointm ent w rit t en all over her face. “ I’d love nothing more than spending some with them ,” said Sandhya ent reat ingly t o her husband. “ As you please, so it ’s done,’ Raja Rao seem ed t o address Roopa’s ears. “ That is sisterly affect ion,” said Sathyam warm ly. “ We’ll be wait ing,” Roopa said cam ouflaging her longing. “ Can I detain Roopa for t onight?” said Sandhya t o Sathyam. ‘Do you need m y perm ission for t hat,” said Sat hyam and added, “ I don’t com e in her way either.” “ Is there any alt ernat ive pat h of salvation for a married m an,” said Raja Rao heart ily, and turned to Roopa, “ You take care of her t ill I take her over.” Past midnight t hat night , t he physically fatigued bride fell int o t he arm s of her m entally exhaust ed mat e. “ Lovey, it’s all like a dream com e t rue,” said Sandhya resting her head on Roopa’s am ple breast s. “ Anyway, it’ s all real now,” said Roopa pressing Sandhya’s head deep int o her valley. “ Tell m e, how it would be like with a man,” Sandhya asked t hought fully. “ As m at ing it self is so exciting, lovem aking m ust be a lot m ore fulfilling,” said Roopa in all cont emplation, ‘I’ll be in your arm s anyway, narrat ing w hat it was like in Raja’s coit ion,” said Sandhya m ystically. “ Prom ise me then,” said Roopa. ‘Promise w hat , t o land up in your arm s in Hyderabad, or to kiss and t ell about our honeym oon,” said Sandhya with a sm ile. ‘Of course both, you know how I miss male sexual rom ance but from now on I’ll have proxy experience,” said Roopa taking Sandhya into her em brace. “ How sweet, but it all depends on how you make m e want to com e to you,” said Sandhya, in all eagerness. ‘Com e, I’ ll make you feel doubly want ing by the t im e your man com es m ounting,” said Roopa pressing closer to Sandhya, Soon, Sandhya realized t o her gratification that Roopa’s love m eant business. The next day, aft er seeing off the newlyw eds on their honeymoon t rail, Roopa set out on the hom eward st ret ch with Sat hyam t owards the evening. ‘While Sandhya’s love would find fulfillm ent in Raja’ s passion, am I not left to pine for his possession,’ she felt as she st ruggled to find solace in sleep in t hat sleeper coach of t he Godavari Express. Chapter 15 Naughty Nuptials As the chauffeur-driven Am bassador crossed Kakinada, greenery greeted the honeym ooners. ‘I never knew that w e’re so close t o nature,’ exclaim ed Sandhya leaning on her m an. “ Once we’re in Konaseem a, you won’t have eyes even for m e,” said Raja Rao feeling refreshed. “ How I w ish t hat Roopa w ere with us,” said Sandhya, lost in her excitem ent . “ I’m beginning t o get envious of your Roopa,” he said in jest , taking her hand. “ Why so, she only complem ent s m y love for you,” she said lovingly. “ What ’s so special about her by the way?” he t ried to appear casual. “ Sim ply put, she’ s unique, though it feels nice being your wife, her separat ion hurt s m e no end. We’ve grown up dreaming living as neighbours,” she said em ot ively. “ It ’s still possible,” he said t entat ively, “ Can we move over t o Hyderabad!” she said excitedly. “ I love that place like no other, let’s see how soon we can m ake it,” he said as he made up his mind by then t o t ry to w in Roopa’s favour. “ Till then, be prepared for m y nagging on that score,” she said, looking into his eyes. “ Won’t I love that,” he said kissing her hand. “ Roopa would be thrilled t o hear about t hat,” she said excitedly. “ Don’t tell her t ill we’re close t o that,” he cautioned her. “ How I w ish it w ere now,” she said, closing her eyes as if in prayer. “ But for now , w e’re in Draksharama,” he said. ‘So it port ends w ell, let ’s seek Lord Bhem esw ara’s blessings,” she said “ Why not, I’ve t o thank Him a lot and pray for m ore,” he said. Seeing her in reverence before the deit y, he could discern t he serenit y of her beauty and felt beholden for the blessedness that life had best owed upon him . “ What have you sought from Him ?” he asked her as they got back int o the car. “ I think, you can guess,’” she said dream ily. “ Why can’t I?” he said lovingly. “ What about your prayer?” she asked him . “ Let it be my secret ,” he said sm ilingly. “ Then keep it under lock and key,” she said feigning anger. “ It ’s all about love,” he said effulgent ly. “ I love you,” she jibed with him joyously. Soon they reached the shores of Kotipally t o cross t he Godavari. Sandhya’s fear of w at er shored up by his assurances en rout e, sunk her heart as she saw the m ight y river in its lean sum m er course. While the prospect of boating across it shocked her wat erphobic psyche, Raja Rao’s coaxing of her, w hich bordered on pecking, am used the t ravelers and the boatm en alike. Caught bet w een the onshore em barrassm ent and the offshore predicam ent, as Sandhya st epped into the boat as t hough she w ere slipping int o the river itself, Raja Rao, having jumped into it earlier like a habitual, t ended his perplexed bride t enderly into it, and once in, she reached for a cross plank seemingly considering the cent er of gravit y of that which was afloat. Seeing her predicament then, t hose who sat on it m oved away to enable the newly-w eds ensconced in the m iddle. In t im e, having adjust ed herself in t repidat ion, Sandhya clasped her man as though he w ere the mast of the boat it self. During the voyage, w hen he vent ured to t oy with the wat ers, she pulled him in fear and reprimanded him for his daring. Whenever the boat was rocked in motion, she enlaced him in confusion, inducing him t o cuddle her for her com fort. As her primordial beaut y pixilat ed by panic evoked pit y in him, he was empathic in addressing her apprehensions. How ever, having got over her fears in his prot ective embrace, in t im e, w hile she felt that she has grasped t he m eaning of m arriage, seeing her at ease thus, he could visualize t he power of love over t he fear of the unknown. Aft er turning her at t ention t o the horizon, lined w ith coconut t rees, and wat ching it for long in fascinat ion, she int erest ed herself in t he vast ness of the Godavari, and felt t hat the wavy current s of it s bluish green wat ers synchronized w ith the romant ic beat s of her expectant heart . Then, looking lovingly at her man, she experienced rare warm th in her soul, which made her feel t hat the sheen of their love m at ched with the glint of t he river. Aft er voyaging for w ell over an hour, they reached the banks of M ukt eswaram, the gat eway of Konaseem a, where, court esy Kamalakar’s clout, an Am bassador awaited t hem . Looking back at t he river they just crossed, she felt relaxed and t hought, ‘Haven’t m y fears got dissolved mid-course making way for hopes!’ At that , as she got into the car, it crossed her m ind t hat by the next day around, she would be on the other bank of her virginal canal. Amused at the thought, she looked at her man in am orous anticipation. Soon, ent ering the hinterland, they found the roadside canal on course, seemingly guiding t he visitors t o their respect ive dest inat ions. While t he unending row s of coconut t rees resem bled sent ries on dut y for the visit ing dignitaries, the lush green carpet s of paddy seedlings went into ripples, as t hough st irred by t heir welcoming inst inct . Lending variet y to the landscape was many a mango grove apart from the fully-grown banana gardens and as if to avoid t he monot ony of the greenery, habitat s abounded all along w ith cat t le sheds as annexes. “ It looks like life is closer to nature in t hese tiled houses and that ched hut s, with cat tle for company!” Sandhya wondered aloud. “ It ’s an irony that w e fail to fuse the new technology w it h the old environs in fashioning our m odern way of living. It ’s sad w e’ve t o choose bet w een nat ure’s bount y in the rural set tings and the make-believe of our urban environs,” he said ruefully. As if to demonst rate the difference, the driver brought t hem to Am alapuram , the comm ercial hub of Konaseem a. Aft er som e snacks and coffee in a bust ling hot el, they resum ed their journey to their dest inat ion that was far from Hardy’s madding crowds, and as t hey saw the back of Amalapuram, they cam e t o face t o face w it h the nature all again. By the tim e they approached Bhat navalli, t he sun began t o set, and t he villagers were seen rest ing in t heir court yards. While som e men w ere seen rolling their cigars with lanka pogaku , ot hers were puffing away at theirs. Women there w ere found gossiping w ith t heir neighbors across t he fences as if they w ere mending fences over past quarrels. As the landlords rode hom e in their bullock cart s, farm hands too start ed t rekking back from the fields w it h their head loads. Giving a pict ure of the carefree life t o the visit ors, the youths w ere engaged in kabaddi and t he children were lost in their marbles. As though sym bolizing the surging spirit of the fair sex all over, village belles vied with each other t o com e up t rumps in competit ive hops in those eight square court s t hat w ere marked in the court yards. However, t he hen in helt er-skelt er disturbed t hem in bet w een, m aking them cautious not t o step on them . “ This is the fam ed pilgrim age of Balayogi,” said Raja Rao as t hey reached M um midivaram, “ t he saint who’s said t o have been holed up in penance round the year. He was w ont t o com e out of his hibernat ion only on maha sivarat hri for his devot ees to have his darshan . It’s believed t hat he had the pow er to survive without food or wat er and lived long for all that .” “ Is it possible!” she asked in surprise. “ Well it’s a mat ter of faith, while his devot ees deify him , his det ractors deride him,” he said. As it was dusk by the tim e they reached Kothalanka, t he Am bassador had a herd of cat tle on the hom eward st ret ch t o accompany. It seem ed t he dust raised by the vehicle on the kachcha road mat ched with t he m ood of t he set t ing sun. While children ceased playing, wat ching the spectacle of t he four-wheeler in m ot ion, the elders craned t heir necks to second-guess the dest inat ion of t he visitors. ----When their journey ended at his uncle’s courtyard, said Raja Rao to Sandhya, ‘There’s Thimm aiahgaru for you.’ As they st epped out of the car, the old m an cam e out of the court yard to receive t hem , all along blam ing the t ransplantat ion tim e for his failure t o at tend their w edding. ‘The farmhands have becom e a big nuisance t hese days,’ grumbled Thimm aiah unceasingly. ‘ You’ve to be behind them always or else they would give t he slip at every t urn. Anyway, I’m glad you’ve come with your w ife t o your native. I’ve got your house spruced up; let ’s see how your wife likes it .’ As he continued to engage them at t he gate itself, Narasamma cam e out of the house, and reprim anded her old m an, ‘Why, do you want t o send them back from the gat e it self?’ Then t urning t o Sandhya, she said affect ionat ely, ‘I haven’t seen a more beaut iful bride in all m y life. Our Raja is very lucky. We’ve got excit ed when w e received his let t er t hat you’ re coming here. It ’s a very sensible thing t o do. One shouldn’t forget his root s. We would’ve loved your stay in our hom e, but it is only proper that you spend som e t im e in his ancest ral house. So, you lodge there board here.’ “ Thanks for your kindness,” said Sandhya heartily. “ Why haven’t you asked them to come in yet?” said Thimmaiah t o his haranguing w ife. “ How are Krishna and Krishnaveni?” enquired Raja Rao as he led Sandhya into the verandah. “ They keep w riting, asking us t o join them , but how could w e leave our hom e and st ay with t hem , that too in t he U.S. Though our t hought s are with our children, our desire remains t o breathe our last here,” said Thimmaiah stating their position. “ Now that you’ve got married, would you go back to the Stat es?” said Narasamma to Raja Rao. “ Act ually, I’m planning to shift t o Hyderabad,” said Raja Rao playing music to Sandhya’ s ears, “ Let me show you your place, there won’t be any end t o her enquiries,” said Thimm aiah leading the newlyw ed to their honeym oon house. “ Don’t hang around t here for long,” said Narasam ma as though to get even wit h her old man. Led by his uncle, Raja Rao crossed the road with his bride to enter his ancestral house as a prelude. “ I let it be used as our village club for if locked up, it would only dilapidat e,” said Thimm aiah just ifying his decision. When Thimm aiah took them to the backyard, with a compound wall, finding a flow er-bedecked bed on a high-rise double cot, Sandhya felt embarrassed and looked t he ot her way. “ I appreciat e your sent im ent in having the fam ily cot here. I thought you w ould need a table fan as well,” said Thimm aiah to Raja Rao, as t hough t o let Sandhya grasp the significance of it all. Then he swit ched it on, as a dem onst rator would do in the laboratory. ‘Sorry for the bother but I couldn’t help it, knowing that w e would land up lat e in the evening,” said Raja Rao. “ We’re glad you chose our place for your honeymoon,” said Thimm aiah before he left t hem all for them selves. ~~~~~ Being all alone for the first tim e w it h her m an, Sandhya was overwhelm ed by the privacy the mom ent had afforded them. However, as Raja Rao cuddled her in ecstasy, she cajoled him w it h love. “ How long I’ve been longing for this m om ent !” he said, caressing her back as she moulded into his em brace for a response. Then, he raised her head as though to see the essence of her soul but saw her droop her eyelids in anticipation. He show ered kisses on them , seemingly to cajole them to sight to make them witness his passion. As the ardour of the m om ent quivered her lips, he joined his to those for support. Gratified by his gesture, so it seem ed, her lips played host t o their labial guests. The reciprocity of their explorations that followed enabled t hem t o experience the fondness of their love that perm eated their souls. In tim e, he loosened him self from her enticing grip so as not t o cross the t hreshold before the mom entous event . As t hey reent ered the backyard, as t he softness of the bed, lay am idst a bed of roses, has blossomed their anticipat ion, they reached the nearby w ell to see their reflections in t he moon-lit wat ers. Having savoured their shadow of closeness, he proposed that they bathe in t he open for a real feel of it , and as she prot est ed in shyness, he said in m ock innocence, “ Why fear, I’ll keep guard.” “ That ’s t he t hreat,” she said, turning coy. “ Let’ s find a romantic balance then,” he said persuasively and went up t o t he cot in m easured st eps. He t hen gest ured her to join him and having been am used, she obliged him demurely. “ It s half m oon now and I w ould be tw ent y steps away; let me gloat over your contours that w ould shape the course of our love life?” he crooned into her ears endearingly. “ Gent s first , in these things,” she suggested. ‘Agreed, if it m eans courtship manners,” he caught her by her waist and led her t o t he well. As he handled the bucket over the overhead pulley, finding som e coconut s afloat, she said in w onderm ent, ‘rural refrigerat ion!’ Soon, when he was dow n to his underwear, she thought he resem bled a wellchiseled sculpture of a Greek warrior, and as he went on drawing wat er from the well in bucket fuls, she was charmed wat ching the cont ractions of his shapely biceps. “ Would you please soap m y back,” he said invit ingly. “ All t hrough you behaved like a gent leman I thought, but now you’re showing your naughty side,” she said m ischievously. ‘In other w ords, you w ere afraid all along that the burden of initiat ive should’ve landed in your lap. But w ith the driver around, I had no way but to st eer clear of your capt ivating curves,” he said pulling her nearer to him . ‘I never thought that you’ re such a sham eless charact er,” she said turning coy. “ Should a groom turn shy at t he threshold, t hen his bride w ould’ve to bear the burden of sham e” he said in all sm iles, “ I’m privy to the fact that a cousin of mine didn’t st ir in the nuptial bed as though he was in m editat ion. Finding him t epid to her eager charm s, crossing her fingers, his bride felt him at t he right place! As you could guess, t hat did the t rick for t he rest of t he night and ever aft er.” Without furt her fuss, hit ching her sari and tucking it, she obliged him . “ I love a lit tle m ore pressure lat er,” he said as he w inked at her, enjoying the sense of her touch in the slippery m edium . “ You seem t o be quit e experienced at that,” she said tauntingly. “ Can’ t that be imaged even without going through that?” he said t entatively. Aft er his bath, having filled the w ell-side tub for her use, he ret reat ed t o the bed as agreed and waited in anticipation, but she st art ed her bath with her clothes on. Crying foul, he rushed to the w ell and pulled at her sari, leaving her in her blouse and the petticoat . When his at tack was direct ed at her midriff to untie the ribbon, she agreed to obey and sent him away. As she began bat hing with her back to him , he goaded her to be more open, and as she relent ed, seeing her m yriad movem ent s in nude, he felt as though som e rom antic poet ry acquired her form. When she st epped out wrapped in her bathrobe, he nestled her from behind eagerly and whispered in her ears endearingly, “ you look sex fresh,” and as she blushed to her root s, he went on showering her shoulders with warm kisses. By the tim e they arrived for dinner, he in his white pajamas and karat and she in her light green cott on sari and a black blouse, the host ess was all set t o serve them som e spicy dishes. Being hungry, and egged on by the arom a of the preparat ions, the eager couple ate w ell t o Narasamma’s visceral sat isfact ion. Aft er dinner, Narasamma adorned Sandhya’ s forehead with kokum and gave her a w hit e voile sari with gold border and said, “ Wives should w ear a white sari for the night s as there is none like it to lend appeal t o the fem inine fram e for the male eye as in it lies how much t o reveal and what to veil off a wom an’ s bearing. So, it’s sari that symbolizes the seductive dressing and not that t ent called the night tim e for it fails to m ove t heir m en.” When the fresh pair left, soon after, the old couple began t o reminisce their own sweet tim es, and as it daw ned on t hem that they forgot to place ‘m ilk and sw eet s’ near t he nupt ial bed for rejuvenat ion of the just weds, they sent them post -hast e with a farm hand. Soon, laid on the high-rise cot in t he court yard, Raja Rao was impatient for his bride’s arrival and as Sandhya, clad in that whit e sari, stepped out into t he moonlight , he felt as t hough she were an angel that had descended from the heavens. However, as she neared him, even as his pulse increased, her pace slowed down, and finding her coy to climb up t he bed, he clenched her waist to catapult her ont o t he cot. While she landed herself in his ardent embrace, even as her sari went askance, exposing her shapely legs and baring her alluring blouse, ant icipat ing an ambush, her heart beat has galloped. What with her breast s heaving heavily, as if t o invite him to st eady her im pulse, when she felt the pressure of his hands on t hem, she realized that she was in the realm s of masculinit y. When he began feeling t he softness of her belly, she felt fascinat ed by the firmness of his t ouch, and as his hands probed the cont ours of her bot tom , she found herself rollicking in anticipation. In tim e, as he t urned her naked, she dropped her eyes, for she felt shy to espy herself in his presence but when she sensed that he was nude as well, she stole a glance t o gauge the m easure of his manhood. When he held her firm ly against his hairy chest , her breast s had their first brush wit h maleness, and as he sought for her lips eagerly, she provided t hem readily for their mutual sat iation. Soon, having conquered her heart with his love, he stooped to her feet in passion only to find his way back in tim e to it on her silken slopes with the labial support . How ever, having reached her m idriff, he rest ed his head for a while on it s slab, but signaled by its spasm s, as he changed the direct ion of his ardour and lent his lips to her labium, she m oaned at his labial nuances though as a prelude to guiding him to ent er into her w ell of love. And as his manhood reached the t hreshold of her m aidenhood, her wom anhood connived w ith him t o cont rive it s crossing. Thus, on their way to orgasm, t hey experienced t he ecstasy of their nuptial union brought about by the feeling of lovemaking. Then fondling his back, as he lay on her in exhaust ion, she felt life was worth living if only for that one m om ent. Seeing he was fulfilled as w ell, she felt gratified for being the source of his fulfillm ent, and her own satiation, occasioned by his passion, made him even more endearing t o her loving heart . Holding hands in unison, wondering about nature’s ingenuity in conceiving sexual grat ification as a m eans of hum an fulfillm ent, t hey gazed t owards the skies, as though to thank the stars for their union. Soon, how ever, Sandhya couldn’t help but think about her int im acy w it h Roopa and felt , ‘t rue our lesbianism ent wines our bodies and delight s our m inds, but in his coition it ’s as if his body got fused wit h m ine t o our heart’ s content .’ Before exhaustion overpowered their youthful exuberance in their nuptial bed and as sleep overt ook their adoring gaze, the moon was on it s w estward descent, but as t hough it got inkling from its fairer partner on the horizon, the sun lay in wait to cat ch a glim pse of t he nupt ial bride in her exhaust ed sleep. How ever, as though influenced by his possessive inst inct, Raja Rao woke up at dawn t o cat ch the peeping tom in it s act , and then turning to Sandhya, who slept spread-eagled, he felt t hat she looked incredibly splendid. Aft er being deflowered, it seem ed as if she flowered overnight to resem ble t he bedside roses, and seeing her t hus in the nascent sunlight, he surged to have m ore of her fresh yout h; and as he pressed against her ardently, she woke up t o his ardour to mat ch him am orously. ----When it was t im e for breakfast, Raja Rao and Sandhya went hand in hand to Thimm aiah’s place to be greet ed by Narasamm a’s st eam y idlis and spicy chut neys, and having savored t hose, they set out for sight-seeing. Thy saunt ered in the paddy fields and roam ed about t he m ango groves until Sandhya becam e sore foot ed t o go any fart her, and ignoring her coy prot est s, he carried her in his arm s, inducing her to cling on to him cosily. But once they reached their coconut plantat ion, she jumped to the ground as though t o view t he set ting in it s proper form . Their kapu, so as to sweet en t heir palat es and fill their bellies, fet ched a couple of ganga bondālu, and a rejuvenat ed Sandhya t hen accom panied Raja Rao to pray at the nearby darga of the legendary Vali Baba, who, it was said, walked on the rivers and wasn’t w et t ed by the rainwat er. Returning to the Thimmaiahs for lunch, they stayed back for gossip lest t heir host s should feel that they w ere t reated as m ere innkeepers. Thim maiah poured out the problem s agriculture posed, and was pleased at having a person for an audience who didn’t have ideas to differ with his own. Narasamm a, however, t ried to int erest Sandhya w ith a gam e of dice and shells. Aft er drubbing the bride half a dozen tim es, Narasamm a switched over to the sport of tam arind seeds. She spread a few score of them at random on the floor at arm length. Then she t ossed one up and picked up another from the spread before cat ching the form er m id air. As the play progressed, she increased the num ber of pickings from the spread and yet didn’t let the freshly t ossed-up one slip t hrough her guard. Sandhya, who wat ched in wonderm ent, made a m ess of it w hen it w as her turn t o t ry her hand. When it was t ime for t ea, Sandhya offered t o serve them , and savoring her sweet ened preparation, Thimmaiah complim ented her, “ ‘You seem to be one up on my old woman.” “ Honestly, I want t o be her apprent ice,” said Sandhya earnestly. “ I’m glad you realize t hat cooking is an art t hough these days it’s being t reated as a machine craft,” Narasamma said. “ Pressures of the t im es have brought in pressure cookers, and it’s lost on the housewife that as nature takes its own t im e to deliver, cooking too needs tim e to im part tast e to the food. And if you pressure it to deliver, either way, it ’s going to be a prem ature issue. Now it has become fashionable to talk in t erm s of the recipes though they’re no m ore t han the sam e garam masala w it h different brand nam es. Won’t one lose t he unique tast e of t he vegetables, the gravy being the sam e in every curry? Cooking seem s t o have fallen into t he hands of the barbarians, and the family m embers too don’t seem t o m ind any m ore. So be it but I’ll give you som e useful t ips before you leave.” “ I would grab t hem with both hands,” said Sandhya earnestly. “ Then would be able to serve your m an bett er,” said Narasam ma and added as an aft erthought , “ Are you planning to visit som e t em ples?” “ Know t hey’re not on a pilgrimage,” said the old man jokingly. “ Jokes apart, I’m keen on praying at a couple of t em ples,” said Sandhya. “ Raja, bet ter you spend a night or t wo in a houseboat on Vasishta and that would be like icing on your honey,” suggest ed Thim maiah. “ That ’s only w hen Sandhya get s over her wat er phobia,” said Raja Rao. “ Then take her t o Vodalarevu where the Gow tham i m akes a ‘T’ with the Bay of Bengal, it ’s a sight t o see,” said Thim maiah. “ I love to witness that, w ho knows, in tim e I might be a gam e even for a houseboat ,” said Sandhya in excit em ent. “ I feel Ryali is a m ust visit, if only to envision the sculptured fusion of Vishnu’s front w ith M ohini’s back in that saligrama ,” said Raja Rao t o Narasamm a’s delight “ God bless you people,” said Narasamma, seem ingly blessing them herself. ‘It helps t o place t rust in God.’ “ Tim es have changed,” said Thim maiah. “ Nowadays, it’s as t hough m en are guided m erely by religiosity and not by any religiousness. Naro narayana, man is God, t hat ’s w hat our sast ras preach, implying that you only reach Him t hrough t he service t o hum anit y. But, t oday man seem s to believe he no longer needs to serve man to please t he Gods. In this jet age of non-st op flight s, man seem s to think he can hop to heaven w ith a few t rips to the hallow ed shrines on earth. These days no one prays t o God for peace of m ind; it ’s his prosperit y t hat ’s at the back of his mind. Boon seeking has becom e the bane of t he religious spirit. The m ore one is m oved by his motive, all the more the fervency in his prayer increases. It ’s as if the fellow -beings count for nothing.” “ In m y opinion,” comment ed Raja Rao, “ there is more t o religion than m eet s t he eye. It is the most effective m eans devised by m an to hold human beings from cracking at t he threshold of their anxieties. If you see, when a man is gravely ill, his wife fears that she’s on the verge of widowhood and all t hat goes w ith it . Unable to bear t he anxiety about her future without him, won’t she t urn to God via her religion to transfer her burden? ‘God, please save him’, she would pray for His m ercy w hile waiting for his recovery in hopeful ant icipat ion. Thus in the m ean tim e, making it easy on her m ind, her own anxiet y lies in suspension of belief, and in t he end, if he com es out true and kicking, it ’s God’ s grace, but were he t o kick the bucket , then it ’s God’s will. How ever, life takes over where her m an would have left it, and soon she get s adjust ed in the alt ered sit uation. The feature of faith is that it rescues us from going insane by helping us t o face the vicissit udes of life with the religious hope.” Thimm aiah nodded in approval as Narasamm a scowled her disagreem ent, “ What you say might be t rue but it could be too sensitive for your w ife.” “ I would like to see life w it h maturity and not approach it w it h sent im entalit y, I’m glad that I’ve found the right guide in my husband,’ said Sandhya. “ That ’s t he benefit of w om an’s education,” said Thimmaiah great ly impressed. “ But t he real t ragedy of m an lies not in death but in life it self,” said Raja Rao characterist ically. “ M an t ends to nurse anim osity lacking percept ivity, burdens him self w ith sent im entalit y, courts t rouble thoughtlessly and then turns to god-m en for deliverance. It ’s a pity that man m editat es for peace of m ind having purchased headaches at a discount.” Seeing the nupt ial couple yawn at length, Narasamm a suggest ed that it was tim e t hey caught up with lost sleep under the mango t ree in the backyard. Aft er siesta, how ever, at Sandhya’ s behest, t he aged couple accompanied the newly-weds in the evening to t he Sathyanarayana Swamy t emple on t he banks of the village tank. Aft er t he parikram a, they had the Lord’s darshan and sit ting by t he lake, Narasamm a narrat ed the t em ple’s legend thus: When Lega Sathyanarayana of the village w ent to Annavaram, the Lord visit ed him in his dream and direct ed him to begin building a temple for Him at this very spot. Once Lega ret urned, everything fell into place by t he blessings of t he Lord and the benevolence of the villagers and the others. It was t hus at Godspeed this t emple for the Lord was built . On their return though, as t he nuptial-couple headed hom e to have their way, the elderly, while preparing t o receive them for dinner, reminisced about the finest day they have had in years. “ Let m e repay m y debt ,” said Raja Rao picking the soap, as they went int o the backyard for bath. “ Wait for m y call,” she said sm iling. “ Don’t keep m e waiting,” he said ardent ly. When they reached t he Thimmaiahs place for dinner, seeing Sandhya in an off-whit e voile sari w ith m aroon border, Narasamma was t ruly im pressed. Though Sandhya ret urned upbeat aft er dinner, nevertheless, Raja Rao found her morose in his embrace. “ Why darling, has the honey t urned bit t er just after seven takings?” he said in jest. “ Don’t be cruel, som ehow , I’m m issing Roopa, that ’s all,” she said. “ You should’ve opt ed t o be co-wives t hen,” he said sharing her m ood. “ To t ell you the t ruth, we t oo thought so,” said Sandhya sm ilingly. “ If it w ere so, how I w ish I m et you both as m isses,” he said as if t o put ideas into her head. “ Well, but I’m in no mood to m iss you now,” she said eagerly. “ Wonder how Roopa excites you as w ell as depresses you!” he said taking her into his arm s. “ You got it my dear,” she said before he sealed her lips. Over their w eeklong stay at Kothalanka, having gauged Sandhya’s abilit y to take t hings objectively, Raja Rao thought it fit to lead her on the realist ic path of life. “ Sandhya,” she heard him croon, as she lay exhaust ed in his arm s that night, their last night of t heir honeymoon. “ Hahn.” “ I must confess t o you t hat I fancied many wom en and even enjoyed a few of t hem, I even im agined t hat a wife could be just another w oman in m y life. How ever, you’ve made m e realize that wife is man’s very own w oman, different from all other w om en,” he said. “ Are you upset that you didn’t get a virgin man,” he enquired, as she didn’t respond “ Not at all, I was just t hinking about som ething else,” said Sandhya. “ Normally it is bet ter that w oman keeps her past from her man but as I appreciat e t he proclivities of yout h, you can be open w ith m e without any hesitation,” he said set t ing t he standard for t heir relat ionship. Then she readily narrat ed her experience in t he cit y bus, and said, sinking into his chest , “ Now all that would seem so funny,” “ So, he st irred the nest, and t he cuckoo flew to m y chest ,” he said, m aking light of it all. “ Now I’m relieved; it has been bothering m e ever since,” she said fondling his chest. “ Treat that as one of those small pleasures in life, and no m ore, but they too have a place of their own in one’s life,” he said smilingly. “ M aybe, it ’s m y love for you t hat induced that guilt in me,” she said reaching for his lips. “ While nat ure has conceived man-woman at traction for t he furtherance of procreat ion, it is man that invent ed the inst itution of marriage for orderly living,” he said, aft er she released his lips, to let her grasp t he import of it all. “ However, nature didn’t oblige us by altering the catalysis of m an-wom an chemist ry to suit the st ructured need of marital fidelit y. Thus, the human proclivit y t o get at t ract ed to the opposit e sex com es into conflict with the concept of adultery. That ’s why it ’s not fair t o judge the sexual ethics of ot hers.” “ You’ re an int ellectual, I am proud of you really,” she said in all admiration to him . “ You are my angel, I adore you,” he said, as he becam e eager all again. When the tim e cam e for them to leave, the old m an hoped there w ould be sim ilar summ ers to com e. “ But with the newborn next tim e,” said Narasamma, making Sandhya blush to the root s. Aft er being in the seventh heaven for over a week, the honeym ooners left Konaseema for their new sojourn. Chapter 16 Tidings of Love Roopa was languid in her bed t hat m orning w hen she received Sandhya’s t elegram ARRIVING TWENTIETH GODAVARI RECEIVE US STATION. Overw helm ed, she t hrew her hands up in excit em ent. How ever, she picked up ‘The Hindu’ lying in the door lat ch as though to confirm the dat e. Thrilled at t he prospect of m eet ing Raja Rao, she looked at the clock, and was shocked at what she saw. ‘Oh God, t he t rain w ould arrive in half an hour, the t im e that takes m e t o reach the st ation. Can’t t he depart ment show som e consideration for such m essages,’ she thought in irritat ion. ‘But why did Sandhya have to wait unt il the eleventh hour to w ire?’ While cursing her friend impulsively, she reached for the mirror instinctively. ‘I’ve t o appear before Raja unkem pt or keep t hem wait ing to freshen up,’ she t hought , apprising herself of her appearance. ‘But I’ve been craving to see him for the past eleven days, am I not? When t he longed-for m om ent is on hand, why am I bot hering about my looks? If I don’t show up in t im e, t hey may t ry t o m ake it on their own. Won’t that further delay his darshan ? M oreover, a mix-up would leave them st randed at the doorst eps, and that w ould surely present me in a poor light. Oh, no, I w ill change the sari and m end m y hair on the way.’ As soon as she got int o an aut o-rickshaw, she began goading t he driver to go in top gear, all the while blaming herself for her predicam ent, ‘Oh, how st upid I was! It ’s m y idea to receive t hem at the station t hat has landed m e in this mess? Didn’t they say t hey would make it on t heir own even then? But , I insisted on receiving them, didn’t I? But how could I’ve ant icipated all t his then? Was it m y fault w anting to see him as he got down from the train? For all my longing, don’t I deserve t o see him as he alight s? But as luck w ould have it , I might as well m iss the bus.’ “ What ’s wrong w it h you? Where have you parked your driving skills?” she berated t he driver in annoyance. “ M adam, what can be done w hen t he roads are as bad and the tyres so dear,” the driver said in apparent helplessness. ‘Well, the roads too are as w ret ched as m y life,’ she felt deject edly while her t hought s instinctively turned t o Sathyam , ‘of all days, why had he t o go today on that god-damn t our? Had he not woke me up at four; I wouldn’t have had a dist urbed sleep later, and so should’ve got up as usual. It ’s as though ill-luck would shadow m e in his shape.’ Having reached the Secunderabad Railway Station with such wayward thought s, Roopa all but fum bled at the Enquiry Count er but on learning that the Godavari was expect ed shortly, such was her relief that she didn’t bother to check up whether she w as early in coming or the train was lat e in arriving. Pregnant w it h expectat ions all again, she rushed t o the designat ed plat form and awaited their arrival with all her heart. Having inst inct ively recalled t he glow on Sathyam’s face in the wake of t heir first night, she thought , ‘post -nuptials, how would Raja look?’, and t ried t o envision him w it h a peculiar sense of thrill. ‘Raja must be looking at his handsom est best given his unique looks,’ she resolved in t he end, and recalling his enam ored dem eanor and his longing touch, she craved even more for him . ‘It feels as though we m et only t he ot her day,’ she thought in all fondness. ‘How t wo w eeks have passed since! When w eeks could roll by in his thought s, then years could be but fleeting m om ents in his company, won’t they be? Oh, why does he never leave m y t hought s? It’ s as if I’m incapable of holding any picture other than his persona now ! It ’s as though he has become an immutable essence of m y consciousness.’ ‘Would he have given m e a damn all these days?’ it crossed her mind t o her const ernat ion. ‘Were it possible that he wouldn’t have thought about m e at all? Why, hasn’t t he love bug bitt en us in the sam e vein? But still, wasn’ t it just a brief encounter? Is it possible that it was just an agreeable dist raction for him ? M oreover, hasn’t he been w ith his beaut iful bride all the w hile? What a stupid I’m t o expect that he would long for m e!’ Though st artled by that thought , she nevert heless conjectured in hope, ‘He loves Sandhya for sure, and don’t I rejoice at her fortune for that . St ill can’t he feel som e fondness for me as w ell? In spit e of his preoccupation w it h Sandhya, shouldn’t he be thinking about m e in blissful anticipation? M aybe the sam e way I think of him while in Sathyam’ s arm s.’ ‘What if the glow of m y at t raction had paled by Sandhya’s effervescence in his eyes?’ she thought in fright , as her doubt s resurfaced. ‘Sandhya’s ardency should’ve nipped his passion for m e in t he bud. Don’t I know how ardent she is? Besides, her ethereal beauty should’ve bewit ched him, blinding his eyes to my charm s forever. The softness of her manner should’ve seeped into the soft cent re he could have nursed for m e in his heart . Her love by now could have satiat ed his lust , obliterating the t races of his infatuat ion for m e.’ As she turned gloomy t hus, she thought m elancholically, ‘I should’ ve known t hat it wouldn’t lead m e anywhere. Yet , how did I fail t o rein in my enamored heart ! Why this fruit less feeling for m y friend’s m an? Won’t t his fatal att raction for him engulf m y life in passionat e misery? Well, the dead weight of m y hopes used t o be a drag on m y life but hasn’t this throbbing pain of love act ivat ed m y heart . When it is so pleasurable pining for him, how t hrilling it would be to possess him ? Won’t all this amount to consciously coveting Sandhya’s m an?’ Shocked by that thought , she quest ioned herself in disbelief, ‘Why didn’ t my conscience caut ion m e when m y infatuat ion began coveting her man? Is it because it’s love that ’s at t he root of m y passion? M oreover, I’m not out t o snat ch him from her, am I? Why, I want to bestow m y affection on the m an whom she seem s t o adore. Given our lesbianism , what’s wrong if I want to augm ent her m an’s happiness with m y body and soul as well? How thrilling it could be for the three of us in a grand liaison!’ Having rat ionalized her proclivit y thus, she began visualizing t he ecstasies of their t hreesom e orgies to her peculiar excit em ent. Soon, the t rain halted on platform num ber tw o to unload it s load of w eary passengers, and when she saw him alight ing from a first class coach at some distance, she st opped in her t racks. ‘Didn’t I guess it right? He looks so divine,’ she t hought endearingly, espying him longingly. ‘It’s wort h pining for him even though it ’s paining. Isn’t pain bet t er t han the lack of any feeling?’ Though, in tim e, as Roopa spott ed Sandhya descending from the train, her look acquired a new -found love, goading her to rush towards t hem even as she recalled the incident in that t rain journey. ‘If that w eird episode could romanticize my gloom , wouldn’t his vivacit y have overwhelm ed her in a romantic whirlwind?’ she felt reaching them with arm s out st ret ched. When Roopa was at an arm ’ s length, Sandhya leapt towards her, losing her balance in the bargain, and as Raja Rao inst inctively t ried to prevent her from tum bling, his hands clasped Roopa’s arm s calling t he sam e bidding. Holding Sandhya in betw een t hem , as t hey looked at each other, his gaze port rayed longing and her look acquired t he feeling of belonging. Lat er, as he was arranging for a coolie, t he friends were boggled with t ears of joy. “ How’ s m y raakhi brother?” enquired Sandhya at length. ‘He’ s Ok but away, been to Warangal before your w ire arrived,” replied Roopa. “ How disappoint ing, will he be back before w e leave tomorrow?” said Sandhya. “ I thought you would be staying a lit tle longer,” said Roopa in all disillusionm ent . “ Honestly, we’re hard pressed for t im e, but still w ant ed t o see you two,” said Raja Rao, who joined them by t hen. “ Can’t you im agine what your gesture m eans to m e?” said Roopa soft ly, aft er having t hought am usedly, ‘He’ s again at it with that ‘too’.’ “ Given your heart y welcom e where’s the need for imagination,” he said seduct ively. ‘He’ s sim ply im possible, not even worried that Sandhya m ight guess,’ Roopa t hought, t hrilled by his audacity. Securing the rest of t heir luggage in the cloakroom, they exited with a suitcase that Raja Rao carried. Walking along with them , Roopa thought , ‘Surely, he heard about Sathyam ’s absence but failed t o voice t he cust omary disappointment. Why, won’t he know it ’s a godsend for him to make advances at me? It ’s clear that he know s that I’ve fallen head over heels for him, with all m y heart and soul as w ell. The fact t hat he kept m um show s he’s not a hypocrit e, and how I abhor hypocrisy, though I was guilt y of it with Chandrika t hen. Anyway, w on’ t Sathyam’s absence suit m e as w ell, for the sam e reason? Well, it could be provident ial, couldn’t it be? Besides, Sathyam ’s presence could have devalued m e in Raja’s est eem .’ Gladdened by Roopa’s warmt h, Raja Rao toyed with t he idea of ext ending t heir stay but gave up in the end, fearing t hat it might give him away. Nevertheless, he m ade up his m ind to delve deeper into her heart while further revealing his feelings to her m ind. Chapter 17 Tentative M oves By the t im e they cam e out of the Railway Station, t he auto-stand wore a deserted look. So, moving away from them to locat e an auto, Roopa hailed at a passing driver, w ho drove the vehicle bet w een her and the couple. It was as if he want ed to form a w edge between them t o show her, her place in the love t riangle. However, as Roopa got in from t he right side, Raja Rao st epped in from the left to place t he luggage in t he space behind, and even as he was about to st ep out to let Sandhya get in, he found him self pushed in by her, unmindful of the protocol. Soon, as Sandhya nudged him for m ore space for herself, he was pushed closer t o Roopa that filled her heart and thrilled his senses. Having thus posited bet ween his wife he loved and t he wom an he enam ored, as Raja Rao realized t hat his sex life w ould be dull without bedding the lat t er as w ell, the jerks of the journey thereon that jost led him closer t o them only sharpened Sandhya’s sensualit y and deepened Roopa’s desire. It’s thus, when t he aut o finally reached her place, reluctantly get ting down from it; Roopa thought endearingly, ‘If a mere thirtyminut e ride with him could be so excit ing how exhilarating a lifelong journey could be?’ How ever, once they got int o her penthouse, as Raja Rao w ent straight into the t oilet , she pulled Sandhya int o her em brace and crooned in her ears, ‘how’s t hat ?’ Saying, ‘wait unt il dark’, as Sandhya reached for her lips, Roopa engaged t hem in a prolonged kiss t hat was before t he new bride rose to show her marriage album t o her old mate. “ I may be mistaken as photo-crazy,” said Roopa finding herself in every other picture t herein. “ We t hought you’ re a value addition,” said Sandhya, affect ionat ely leaning on Roopa’s shoulder. “ Who else?” said Roopa, sensing Raja Rao’s com ing. “ Can’ t you guess?” said Sandhya point ing to her m an with her gaze. “ It appears that ma’am kept wat ch on me,” he said, m aking Roopa blush t o the root s. “ I was m easuring m y mat e’s fortune in the m aking,” said Roopa, composing herself readily. “ What a com pliment !” he said, thrilled at t hat . “ Your gest ure truly com plem ent s,” said Roopa. “ Wonder why it ’s said that beaut y and brains won’ t coexist in the fem inine fram es for you bot h seem to have appropriat ed the most of bot h,” said a pleased Raja Rao. “ Thank you, but st op this ma’am thing, you know she has a beaut iful nam e,” said Sandhya t hrilled to the core. “ She may feel that sounds fam iliar,” he said, looking at Roopa. “ Roopa,” said Roopa, mat ching his gaze. “ Roopa,” he repeat ed, thrilling her senses. “ I’ll have a bat h,” said Sandhya, and left . “ Roopa,” he said as she was savouring his picture in t hat album. However, as the ardency in his tone signaled a not e of urgency, she shift ed her loving gaze from t he groom in the pictures ont o him in her very presence. “ Roopa,” he repeat ed “ Hahn.” “ We’ll be leaving tom orrow,” he said with a feeling of disappointm ent t hat she grasped in the t enor of his tone. “ I know,” she murm ured, const rained to express t he desire of her heart, ‘how I w ish you w ould take m e t oo.’ Thereaft er, she kept quiet , and staring at her in disappointm ent, he thought , ‘She could’ve easily said, ‘you could’ve stayed for a day or m ore’, without com prom ising herself that is and t hat would’ve enabled m e t o open my heart to her, inducing her t o pour out in reciprocit y. Isn’t it apparent that she’s attracted t o m e, there is no m istaking that. Won’ t her heavy manner belie the burden of her love for m e?’ The feeling that she loved him pleased him even more for her very presence. How ever, finding him t ruant , she realized that she goofed up her chance, and t hought , ‘Any comm onplace comm ent could’ve kept t he dialogue going, and who know s, what it w ould have unraveled. But why won’t he realise that it’s a m ere slip bet w een m y cup of emotion and the lip of my expression?’ How ever, as blam ing him didn’t appeal to her m ind, she t ried to rationalize his lack of fort hrightness, ‘In his position, he can’t but be tentat ive, for the fear of offending m y sensitivit y.’ Thus, even though their lips were sealed in apprehension, their eyes cont inued their conversation without any inhibit ion. Sandhya, m eanwhile, felt refreshed while freshening herself in her bath thinking excit edly, ‘She likes m y m an. But then, w on’ t wom en find him fascinat ing if they happen t o get acquaint ed wit h him ? That way, he too turned fond of her, why not ; can any man ever ignore her either? How lucky I’m t o have a friend like her and a man like him !’ Soon, sailing to them on cloud nine and finding t hem both im m ersed in their ow n t hought s, she said in jest, “ Being sworn friends, why you are sit ting like st rangers?” “ Being a gentleman, your hubby believes in ladies being first ,” said Roopa sm ilingly, as she left for her bath. While Sandhya laughed at the remark, Raja Rao was pleased with her innuendo. When Roopa ent ered the bathroom , the very thought that he had his bath there earlier thrilled her sensualit y, and as she undressed herself, she recalled his searching gaze that insensibly made her im agine him in that set ting, which in turn, has induced pulsat ions in her fram e that furthered her craving for his possession. So, show ering herself leisurely and sighing for him longingly, at lengt h, she reached for her soap, but seeing theirs, she was draw n t o it im pulsively. Thereaft er, in her bath of fantasy, the soap becam e a fetish that freshened as w ell as excit ed her in equal m easure. Lat er, as t hey gossiped after breakfast, t he topic of children cropped up in tim e. “ What ’s your reading on her children?” said Sandhya placing Roopa’s hand in his. “ It would be a pleasure to speculate about the prospect,” he said, grabbing w hat was on offer. “ M ind you, don’t turn it int o a farce,” said Sandhya reminiscently, pulling Roopa’s hand from his in jest . ‘What a lovely hand!’ he t hought as he took it back, ‘Isn’ t it a classic psychic hand w ith those shapely fingers in t heir full flow? How have I failed to not ice t he beauty of her hands all t his while?’ Thus, espying her hand in wonderm ent, he found him self fondling it, more t o comm unicat e his love to her than to envision her future, seemingly in a trance. How ever, as the spasm s of her fram e w oke him up t o the realit ies of her allure, he felt , ‘Apparently enam ored of the charact er of her m ain at t ribut es, I becam e oblivious to t he charm s of her rem aining features.’ Then, driven by t he desire to espy her features, he mapped her feet with his caressing looks. ‘Oh, what an att ractive lass she is! What a female form in such a fascinating fram e? Won’t that m ake her deadly in lovemaking? What a woman she is really; could t here be a bet t er one than her to have?’ as he thought , so he gripped her hand ardently, further fuelling her passion. “ What are the indications?” said Sandhya, growing in im patience. “ It ’s not clear as yet; as I told you, the lines are alt erable,” he said, st ill holding Roopa’s hand. “ I’ve heard the lines here indicat e offspring,” said Sandhya point ing at a sideline below Roopa’s lit tle finger. “ They indicat ive of one’s affections for the opposite sex, as Roopa has only one line, she’s likely to have one deep affection in her life,” he predict ed with hope. “ What about her?” asked Roopa, reluctantly w it hdrawing her hand. “ Do you m ean affect ions or children?” he said naughtily. “ I know from her nature as well as her hand that she would’ve only one such affect ion in her life, I want to know about her children,” said Roopa indulgently. “ She could have t wo children,” he said. “ You m ean, you would’ve tw o kids,” Roopa suggest ed correct ion. “ You see her hand indicat es the prospect s of her mat ernit y and not the source of it s paternity,” he said smilingly. “ Now I know how devilishly mischievous you could be,” said Roopa coyly. “ So, you can figure out m y lot with him,” said Sandhya joining in the m irth. Soon after lunch, as Sandhya proposed a gam e of carom s, and even as he offered to sit out t o wat ch the friends at play, Tara cam e around. “ Here’s t he godsend,” said Roopa ent husiast ically. Int roductions over, Roopa asked Tara t o join them to complet e the quorum for a carom. “ It ’s my pleasure, but som eone is going to be sore,” said Tara. “ Who shall partner w hom?” Sandhya thought aloud. “ Let it be the couple versus the neighbors,” suggested Tara. “ M a’am, you seem t o be a sound strat egist ; know ing that a man and his wife won’t see eye to eye, you want to pair us for your easy pickings,” retort ed Raja Rao. “ Roopa, you bet t er partner him, if I say t hat w e might pair, his tongue would wag yet anot her way,” said Sandhya amusedly even as Roopa and Tara laughed heartily. As Roopa t urned out to be a novice and Tara being quite adept at the game, not to speak of Sandhya, Raja Rao sensed that there was a drubbing in the offing, and as feared, he and Roopa fared poorly in the first board. “ We’ve lost because of m e,” said Roopa apologet ically. “ Surely, we’ll m ake it in the end,” he seem ed t o assure her in m ore ways than one. “ I suppose playing carom s is not as easy as wagging the t ongue,” Sandhya t eased him . “ The proof of t he pudding is in the eating, what do you say Roopa?” he said heart ily. “ How I w ish I had a bett er hand to lend you but I know that you’ll make them run for t heir money all on your own,” said Roopa. While the gam e progressed, as he began to regain his t ouch, he was seized by a desire to let Roopa savor the thrill of w inning, and in the euphoria of her praises, he played like a m an possessed. “ I haven’ t seen you play half as w ell at Kothalanka,” said Sandhya, wat ching him in w onderm ent as he went on a pocketing spree. “ It ’s all about inspiration,” he said and added, “ moreover, can I let Roopa down.” Roopa got scared for once and looked at her m ate in apprehension. “ M an, I don’t fault you on both the count s,” said Sandhya t o Roopa’s im m ense relief Wrapping up the gam e in tim e, when he involuntarily ext ended his hand t o Roopa t hat she shook in excitation, feeling sorry for Tara, Sandhya shook his hand in adm iration. How ever, when Tara t oo shook hands w it h him in congratulat ion, Roopa w at ched his demeanor in cont em plat ion. ‘ Is he enjoying her touch?’ she looked for signs of his crush on Tara, and seeing none, she felt relieved, but t hought nevertheless, ‘Why t his possessiveness for a man who’s not mine even! But how could it ever be love unless it is accom panied by jealousy?’ When Sandhya want ed a challenger, Roopa was not a gam e for it as she preferred t o preserve the mem ory of that t riumph lest they should lose the challenger, and inst ead proposed a round of rumm y, Tara talked about the stakes. “ You spell it ,” said Raja Rao. “ Ten a count,” st at ed Tara. “ I feel it’s high,” said Sandhya. “ Not for an archit ect ’s w ife,” Tara brushed aside the objection. As dam e luck team ed up with the mem bers of her gender, as if t o show where her sym pathies lie, Tara said t o Raja Rao, “ It seem s you’ve no way w ith the dame luck today.” “ I’m hopeful t hat she might favour m e in t im e,” he said, st eadily picking up his cards and st ealthily looking at Roopa. Finding Roopa gazing at him , as though expect ing som e such com m ent, he knew that she was playing the ball wit h him , and even as she adm ired his audacity, nevertheless, she was t roubled lest Sandhya should take not e of their flirtations, but at the sam e tim e, she was t hrilled that Raja Rao’s fascination for her was unfolding before Tara’s eyes. ‘She seem s to be in love w it h him to a fault , t hough she can’t be fault ed for t hat ,’ Roopa thought as she scoot ed the next deal. ‘It’s as though som e magnet ic force would draw wom en to him ! Isn’t Tara, the vet eran of many a fill, coy t o him as if she w ere a virgin? It looks like he appreciat es Tara’ s undeniable charm s but he doesn’t seem to be enamoured of her. Without a roving eye, won’t he make a st eady lover? M aybe, had I not st opped him in his t racks, daredevil that he is, he could’ve declared his love for m e t hen and there, oh, how stupid of m e. Surely, I won’ t m iss t he next chance as and when it present s it self. What a lover to have, if ever I could have him .’ “ Sorry for robbing the host s,” said Tara, taking leave of t hem aft er t ea. “ We’ll make it even next tim e,” said Roopa sm ilingly. “ I wish you get even,” said Tara to Roopa in undert one. Aft er Tara had left, fearing a possible m isunderst anding, innovat ed Roopa, “ She want s m e to take up a job.” “ It ’s not a bad idea,” said Sandhya. “ What ’s t he hesitat ion?” said Raja Rao t o Roopa, finding her unresponsive. “ Don’t you know t hat I’m not even a graduat e? I w onder who would em ploy m e, and for what,” said Roopa “ As I t old you, Roopa was our topper before she dropped out,” said Sandhya to Raja Rao. ‘How does that help me now for it s all bygones,’ said Roopa. “ Roopa, not hing is really over till the very end,” he said persuasively. “ Even aft er death, there w ould still be that last journey to t he cem et ery. I know that you craved to becom e a doct or t o serve the sick but there are ot her ways for you to do the sam e. You know besides doct ors and the ayahs, health-care needs administ rat ors as w ell and if only you work for it, who know s, you m ight run your own clinic one day.” “ Honestly, I haven’ t thought on those lines. Thanks for opening up my mind,” said Roopa visibly impressed. “ Who know s, one day you m ight as w ell design her clinic,” said Sandhya joyously. “ Won’t I put all m y heart into that to make it soulful for her,” he said heartily. “ It ’s like you’re rekindling my am bit ion,” said Roopa ext ending her hands to t hem . “ M eanwhile im prove your academ ics t hrough som e correspondence course and enlarge your vision by observat ion. Thus when the opportunity knocks, you w ould’ve been equipped t o acquit yourself w ell,” he said holding on to her hand. “ I shall,” Roopa said as though in a trance. “ I know you would,” he said anim at edly, and she pressed his hand warmly. “ You can always count on us,” said Sandhya, em bracing a visibly moved Roopa. At that, infect ed more by t heir euphoric love t han his carnal desire, Raja Rao was im pelled to fold t hem toget her in his arm s for a fleeting mom ent that seem ed et ernity t o Roopa. Chapter 18 Fetishes of Fantasy Aft er siest a that evening, Sandhya proposed a st roll on t he nearby Tank Bund and as t hey cam e out, Roopa suggest ed that they might as w ell walk all the way. Soon, when t hey ascended the adjacent staircase of Kat tamaisamma t emple and reached t he top of t he age-old st ructure, Raja Rao’s eyes caught t he line of new age st atues on granit e pedest als. Want ing to see them all at close quart ers, t hey walked past the row of lifesize bronzes of renowned Andhras, and having read the inspiring inscriptions in gold on t hem , he marveled, ‘A great idea’. “ It ’s NTR’s,” said Sandhya. “ That becam e cont roversial” said Roopa “ How com e?” he said seem ingly surprised. “ There was a minor row raked up in the local press about the advisabilit y of spending millions on them , bringing t he schem es for t he needy to a grinding halt ,” explained Roopa. “ It could be t he m ischief of t he out-of-pow er politicos it ching for polit ical spoils. Even if one kid, who sees them , w ere t o be inspired by the deeds of any one of these great s, t hen the value of that life for the hum anity would count ervail t he cost of all these st atues put t ogether. But whither gone Srinatha,” art iculat ed Raja Rao. “ It ’s odd that kavisarvabhow ma is absent,” said Roopa. “ When Thyagaiah is right ly accorded the pride of place, ignoring the most rom ant ic Telugu poet is indeed puzzling,” said Sandhya in agreem ent. How ever, in tim e, as they reached the statue of Sir Art hur Cot ton, Raja Rao comm ent ed, “ It ’s very thought ful to t reat this Englishman as our own.” Aft er a go around, as they relaxed on the lawns near the Nannaya’s, the topic turned t o culture and literat ure. “ The hallmark of greatness is t he abilit y to appreciat e the virtues of other peoples and their cultures. You may know that Appaiah Dikshitar, the Tamil poet -saint said that t o be born an Andhra and to be able to speak Telugu is a boon, which cannot be achieved without m uch penance. But normally bigot ry m akes people imagine t hat they are superior t o the rest of the peoples put t ogether,” art iculat ed Raja Rao. As it st art ed drizzling by then, they thought of leaving. “ I love gett ing drenched,” said Roopa “ M e too,” said Sandhya. “ I’ll fall in line,” said Raja Rao, looking at Roopa. Halfway t hrough, having got caught in the pouring rain, in no tim e, they got w et to t heir root s, and falling behind t hem on purpose, Raja Rao w ent on devouring Roopa’s flowing figure at it s back. In her w et sari that tightly hugged her body, as though to squeeze it self dry, her provocative fram e evoked passion in his groins. Her splendid back of tan exposed by the seem ing dissolution of her brownish blouse induced in him a craving for show ering it w ith his kisses. Her narrow waist , left part-bare by her sari, enabled him to envision the carnal charact er of her luscious form . The slit of her seat , discernible at every st ep, st epped up his urge for a ‘novel’ possession of her exquisite body. As if to feast his eyes w ith her wondrous legs, when she art fully hit ched her sari t o bare them, their ent icing shape enveloped his vision. In that rainy set ting, w henever she t urned at street corners, t he sight of her heavy boobs wet ted by the Act of God whet t ed his appetite. At length, as he inst inct ively turned his gaze t owards his wife for an unintended com parison, he found her talking anim at edly to her mate. Her exquisit e dem eanour made him envision the evocative charm of a bunch of grapes in the m idst of the season. He felt that t he sm ooth contours of her delectable form im part ed waviness to the sari she wore. Then, as t he skies were bright ened by lightning, he visualised that his wife’s rosy face glow ed even m ore by the radiance of her amiable nature. ‘Individually t hey pict ure contrast ing charm s but together t hey symbolize beauty it self,’ he thought as he went on analyzing his st ate of m ind st orm ed by Roopa. ‘What a marvel of a woman! Im agine she’s infatuat ed w ith m e! How sw eet love is in it s t entat iveness! That ’s the charm of it , isn’t it? But as the urge surges, so would the pain for possession in t he pangs of passion. Only her soothing em brace can bring solace t o m y perturbed soul. Surely she’s enamoured of m e but would she be inclined t o bestow her final favor upon me? Regardless of her proclivities, still a liaison with her friend’s husband rem ains a big hurdle for her to cross, isn’t it? What ever it is, my cup of life w ould be half empt y till I have her as well.’ ‘Why am I allowing m yself to be dist racted by her charm s when m y bride herself is so fresh?’ he thought in wonderm ent . ‘Why to start w ith it s love at first sight, for both of us and then hadn’t Zola averred t hat love increases in proport ion to the possibilit y of possession. That way, Tara is no m ean a charm er eit her; any man would gladly put his soul on t he line to win her favours. Yet, there’s no way I can possess her, but for which w ho know s, I m ight have been eying her as well. Thankfully, it ’s all different with Roopa for her friendship with Sandhya might usher in our liaison, sooner or lat er.’ Even as he felt hopeful of having Roopa som eday, her enam ored eyes and suggest ive glances that he reminisced, had only fuelled his passion for her possession. ‘Possession, t o be m eaningful, should be tim ely,’ he reasoned, as he increased his pace to com e closer t o the wom en. ‘When we would m eet next t im e, who know s, she could be carrying, and shortly thereaft er, holding her child in my lap, won’t I be left w ondering as to what it w ould have been like had I possessed her before? Then, w on’t it t urn out t o be a life-long regim en of seeing a bloat ed Roopa belat edly? Thus, with not hing left to inspire possession, and having gained to m ake it difficult , won’t she leave m e pondering over her past cont ours in her rotund presence? And in t im e, won’t the hoped-for possession on a grand scale passion end up being a damp squib in a platonic fashion? It would be for sure and sadly at that .’ ‘Won’t it be sexy having her now when her figure is at it s curvy best,’ it crossed him as they turned the corner to reach home. ‘Besides, going by her hungry looks, she seem s t o be ready for it . What if I go t o her on t he sly aft er Sandhya falls asleep? Surely, she w ouldn’t push m e away even if she w on’t pull m e into her arm s. But won’t that be the cue for m e to press ahead over her sexy fram e to usher in our liaison? ‘But that w ould make sense if I w ere put up here,’ he thought deject edly. ‘In a onenight stand, I m ight barely tast e her flavor to savor w hich takes the possession of a lifetim e. M aybe the romance of a night might m eet t he demands of our urges but only a continuing union could fulfill the craving of our souls. Thus, even if I were to coax her int o bed now, my prolonged absence thereaft er m ight lead her astray in due course. Why having lost her inhibitions in crossing t he marital line to have a fling with m e; won’t she in tim e becom e vulnerable to the advances of som e seducer or the other? God forbid, should that happen, inst ead of giving her t he solace of love, won’t I becom e the root cause of her depravity?’ As he shuddered to imagine her moral fall, he resolved, ‘It ’s as w ell t hat we m oved in here before I begin w ooing her.’ Soon as they reached hom e in that wet set ting, Roopa goaded Sandhya t o go in for a show er. “ Have you seen Pa keezah?” Roopa said w it h a sense of urgency. “ I liked it, what about you?” he said sensing som e inference from her in that love st o r y. “ I found the movie m oving and the songs m eaningful,” she said, giving an impression t hat she left something unsaid. “ Especially, ‘yuhi koyi , about a chancy m eeting and t hereaft er,” he said, as though he understood w hat was unsaid, “ True, do you believe that marriages are m ade in heaven?” she said as though to convey more than she has enquired. “ M aybe, but why on earth one shouldn’t fall in love?” he said, as if he was clarifying t heir posit ion. “ Why not one?” she echoed aft er a pause, during which she conveyed her approval w ith her gaze. When Sandhya cam e out from t he bathroom , Roopa t ried to goad him into it, but as he insisted that he would show er later, she w ent in there disappoint ed. Nevertheless, aft er her fetish-less bath, about to clear the clothesline, she changed her m ind and chose t o leave her dirty linen behind. ‘Surely, he would scan m y innerw ear,’ she thought thrilled about the possibilit y. ‘That could be the reason why he insist ed that I have m y bath before him . What a clever lover! Won’t he size m y brassiere for his grasp and sm ell it as w ell for m y body odour? When it com es to m y pant y, well.’ At t hat , the thought of his fet ishism involving her bra and drawer creat ed a sensat ion in her body, which made her shiver expectantly. ‘Why not I confirm his doings by noting t he arrangem ent ,’ she t hought m ischievously and arranged her lingerie meticulously. Thereaft er, as he w ent for bat h, she kept t im e. While she visualized him handling her brassiere, she felt as though he w ere squeezing her breast s, and when she anticipat ed him to sm ell t he thing, she felt as though his breat h had warm ed her breast s but above all, t he idea t hat he would be toying w it h her panty pulsat ed her fram e. As he came out of it, lying in wait, she rushed into the bathroom , only t o return from t here in a fulfilled m anner much lat er. When it was tim e t o call it a day, Roopa addressed Raja Rao, “ I hope you don’t mind using t he bedroom .” “ Why bother, the hall should do for us,” he said embarrassedly. “ I w ould rather insist that you use the bedroom . Though w e’re fine otherw ise, it t akes us a lit tle t o accomm odat e our guest s,” said Roopa. “ The need of any fam ily could be a couple of chairs besides a cot or t wo as the occasional visitors can be accom modat ed on some spare bed or the other,’ he said as if t o make them grasp the underlying irony of the so-called status. “ So, a house is where w e take shelt er as w e live and vacat e as we die, but t he paraphernalia we t end t o acquire is m eant more to announce our arrival on the social stage than to cat er to our hom ely requirem ent s. Thus, having put them in place at great cost, and w it h m uch com prom ise even, w e won’t rest t ill we show them off t o our acquaintances.” “ You make m e feel at home in m y house,” said Roopa in response. “ It ’s t he best complim ent I’ve ever received from any host ess,” he said. “ You do feel at home,” she said in an undert one t o him as Sandhya went in to have som e wat er. “ When I’m welcom ed,” he whispered to her. Soon, Sandhya follow ed her husband, however after w inking at her friend. “ Isn’t it embarrassing?” said Raja Rao as Sandhya bolted the door. “ Never m ind, I’ll join her lat er,” said Sandhya reaching him . Readily sinking into her husband’s em brace, while she felt that he seem ed fonder t han ever before for her friend t oo was fond of him , pressing her closer, he found him self fantasizing her friend’s presence, and as he made love to his wife, he began craving his lover’s em brace as well. So, even as he got ecstatic in their clim ax, yet he felt w anting in his fulfillment. ‘Won’t I need them both for my fulfillm ent?’ he contemplated aft er his wife left him t o reach her mat e. ‘Though m y emotions for each are discernible, m y love for them seem s indivisible, and yet how well they fit in our love t riangle? Oh, how they adore each ot her? Won’ t that ensure they could be receptive t o the t hreesome idea? But st ill, I need to prod t hem a lit tle to help them overcom e their inhibit ions. But once drawn int o the love t riangle, won’t t hey find it fascinating to envision each other making love t o m e? Sandhya m ight feel fulfilled seeing the wom an she adores gratifying the man t hey love. In turn, finding the man she adm ires at coitus with the w oman she loves, Roopa could indeed feel fulfilled. Thus feeling beholden, won’t Roopa enlace Sandhya in all em pathy as if to share her joy? If only Freud got it right, won’t their lat ent leanings lead them to the lesbian frontiers t o feast my eyes?’ Soon in her daydream, Raja Rao sank into a deep sleep. -----Roopa was in luscious wait as an ardent Sandhya reached her. Even as she was shedding her sari to m erge herself w it h her mate’s nudeness, Roopa pulled her int o her makeshift bed. Aft er having yielded t o her man’ s passion, as Sandhya felt ecstatic fondling her mat e’s fram e, she could discern the duality of her desire on a differing plane. She felt that while the coition with her m an affords her the womanly worth, her lesbianism with her mat e ennobles her innat e femininity. So, having comprehended the t rue value of the emollient variat ion of her sexualit y to her life, she began to engage her mat e w it h all lesbian with gusto. M oreover, the realizat ion that she felt fulfilled by the male passion only sharpened her ardour t o sat iat e her mat e’s lesbian urge. As for Roopa, the very thought that her lover just coited w it h her m at e sharpened her sensualit y, and that made her feel as though she sm elled him through his wife’s m edium . Thus, as Roopa cuddled Sandhya, she could yet feel his masculinity in his w ife’s body; and deep kissing her, she felt as though she tast ed his saliva in her palat e. Soon, so as to satiat e herself, Roopa reached in her mate where her lover had mount ed for his fulfillment , and then visualizing his manhood in motion, when she t urned oral at the source of it s lubrication, as if to savour the tast e of his cum, Sandhya w ent int o rapt ures craving for her m an’ s presence in her mate’s company. With the m ut ual solace their lovem aking afforded t hem , as they lay languid in their arm s, said Roopa, “ Now kiss and t ell what’s like it with him ?” Whispering her reminiscences of her honeym oon for Roopa’s ears, Sandhya said, “ Som ehow, even the vigour of his virilit y can’t subdue m y urge for our mating. How I w ished you cam e along with us.” “ I think m y luck and love, are poles apart , if only I were single, maybe I w ould’ve begged you to take m e along with you as your co-w ife. What’s worse for m e, you would be so far away, increasing m y m isery even m ore,” said Roopa m elancholically. “ Now I too feel t hat we would’ve been bet ter off living toget her as co-wives,” said Sandhya moved herself. “ I could divorce Sathyam for Act - 1 but having a wife like you, would your man be ready for Act - 2?” said Roopa half in jest . “ I’ll ask him,” Sandhya half-rose in mock seriousness. “ Leave t hat t o m e,” said Roopa, as she pulled Sandhya back int o her bare arm s, “ but have you t old him about us?” “ Not yet, though I was thinking about it all the while,” said Sandhya dream ily. “ Anyway, our love doesn’t take anything away from him as our am our is not ham pering m y ardour for him . Though I find the associat ed emot ions are so different, yet I see neit her a conflict nor a cont radict ion in them . I’ve come t o realise that m y em otions for you and affection for him are nursed in separat e corners of m y heart . But how com e you never talked about it to Sathyam ?” “ As I don’t feel for him much, t here’s no em otional hit ch as such,” said Roopa dryly. “But now it looks like you’ re Ok with him ,” said Sandhya. “ Don’t I’ve duties as his w ife? I thought I’ve no right to make him feel wanting due to m y disillusionm ent. M aybe, it could be risky t o reveal it even to your husband, as he might not like it. It would be the deat h of m e if he weans you away from m e,” said Roopa looking vacantly. “ I love you for the way you feel for us but even if I t ell him , I know he’ll underst and. Yet I would wait though I told him about that city bus escapade,” said Sandhya, kissing Roopa. “ What ’s his react ion?” Roopa sat up, as if to wat ch his feelings in Sandhya’s face. “ He m ade light of it all as no more t han a sm all pleasure,” said Sandhya. “ I’m happy that you’ve got a confident man,” Roopa kissed her as if the gesture was m eant for him . “ Good night, let m e see if he get s up, you’ve made m e need him all again,” Sandhya w hispered. “ Good night and good luck,” said Roopa winking at Sandhya. ‘Why is life hard on som e while being soft on others?’ Roopa cont emplat ed aft er Sandhya had left . ‘The sast ras would have us believe that it’s all owing to karma , while t he philosophers st ress t hat life is condit ioned by a com binat ion of circum st ances. It could be t rue eit her way, but how does that help m e in anyway. For all t hat , does life play favorit es? But that ’s unlikely, isn’t it? Aft er all, w hy should it be partial to som e w hen all bear it s pat ent? Yet , som e like m e get condem ned, all the t im e. But w hy is t hat so?’ ‘It’s as t hough life has an obligat ion for it self as a w hole and not to t he individuals t hat m ake up the w hole,’ she t ried t o probe into the proclivit ies of life as though to solve the puzzle of her predicam ent. ‘It would appear as if life feels a m onotonous regim en would bore people to deat h, thereby bringing the creat ion t o an unint ended end. So, for the larger good of m ankind, it could be const rained to cont rive individual inequities to keep alive the general int erest in it. Wonder how it prepares the black list for t he fate to act upon! As all are dear t o it were it not possible that blindfolded, it w ould go in for random selection with a sinking heart ! And once fat e get s hold of life’s blacklist , w on’ t weddings com e in handy for it t o im part misery in many wrong perm utat ions and provide bliss in a few right combinations! Then is there nothing left for m e t o do than to regret my fat e, all my life?’ As though her pain m oved nature it self, it opened the skies to shed its t ears, and closing the w indows to avoid the spat ter, she felt m elancholic, ‘So t hat ’s how I’ve got t he rough end of the marital st ick t hen. But why not grab the silken glove of liaison that is dangling before m e now? Won’t t hat m eet life’s innat e need for variet y as w ell? When it could im pose a husband of it s choice on m e, why not I choose a paramour of m y own liking?’ As it st opped raining as though on cue, opening the window s, Roopa felt nat ure too has seem ingly desired her turbulence to end in Raja Rao’s arm s. ‘Would it be fair to Sathyam?’ she t ried t o analyze as she was consum ed by selfdoubt s all again. ‘But t hen, what could be done when fidelity im poses a loveless life on m e? By the way, what’s this fidelity all about? Isn’t it m an’s m eans to rein in w oman’s proclivities? Though male-fem ale att raction is the cornerst one of creation, yet man seeks t o blindfold w om an with the band of marit al loyalty, never m ind his own roving eye. Leaving that aside, w hat does a wife ought to give her m an? Well, she should keep an am iable hom e for him to recreate and procreate, and as for love, she needs it as much as he, doesn’ t she? But is love som ething of a recipe that a w oman could prepare at her husband’s bidding?’ ‘How can I help as he doesn’t inspire love in m y heart,’ she wailed at her plight. ‘Is it not said that love is but a part of man’s life while it is a wom an’s whole exist ence? Why, it ’s every bit t rue! Sathyam is m erry in marriage, enjoying all that goes w it h it, while I’m miserable, despairing for love. I can’ t be happy without Raja, that ’s clear by now , isn’t it? Then, don’t I ow e som et hing to my life as well? What’s the contradict ion in leading m y love life with Raja even as I cat er to Sathyam ’s marital needs? It seem s t o be the only sensible way to go about my life than t o feel deprived all the while.’ Thus, having resolved to have Raja Rao for a paramour, she was at peace w ith herself, ‘But it would be unfair for wom an t o let the param our father her child. M aybe, it ’s the only thing unethical about adultery, isn’t it? A woman ought to take care t hat t hings don’t be m ixed up in the process. Surely I w ould need Raja for m y fulfillment and Sathyam can have his child if he could.’ Having resolved on a liaison with her lover, Roopa slumbered in expectation. Chapter 19 Curtain of Courtesy At t he break of dawn, Roopa awoke to the sound of the doorbell, and was surprised t o find Sathyam at the threshold. Seeing t he makeshift bed in the hall, he was surprised in turn, but before he could enquire from Roopa, he got the reply from Sandhya, “ I’m happy you’ve com e.” While Roopa took the briefcase from Sat hyam ’s hand, Raja Rao, w ho had joined t hem by then, observed her dem eanor to discern her em ot ions, and having not iced a perceptible disappointm ent in her, he felt vindicated. “ Glad I’ve com e back,” said a visibly delighted Sathyam . “ But what of your work?” said Roopa. “ I didn’t want to wast e my tim e over there, as they weren’t ready with their paperw ork. Had I got even a wink of your visit , I wouldn’t have gone at all,” said Sathyam. Som ehow Sathyam always felt t hat whereas Sandhya’s genuine warm th elevat ed his self-w ort h, Roopa’s const rained affection t ended t o underm ine his self-est eem . “ We reached as you left and would be leaving as you cam e,” said Raja Rao in greet ing, ext ending his hand to Sat hyam . “ When is that?” said Sathyam “ By today’s M inar,” said Raja Rao. ‘Wish you’ve stayed a while,’ said Sathyam. “ I would’ve loved that,” said Raja Rao, m ore for Roopa’s ears. “ I’ve asked him to ext end his leave but,” said Sandhya. “ I know it ’s not easy,” said Sat hyam . “ I’d half a m ind to skip Bom bay but Sandhya was insist ent ,” said Raja Rao. “ If not, your parent s could think she has already weaned you away from them ,” said Roopa in jest. “ You double up for her advocate, don’t you?” said Raja Rao to Roopa “ Be our first guests in Delhi,” said Sandhya to Sathyam, leaning on Roopa’s shoulder. “ Let Roopa fix the muhurtham ,” said Sat hyam as he w ent to freshen him self. “ I’ll wait for the call,” said Roopa dream ily. “ Don’t keep us waiting,” said Raja Rao sm ilingly. “ You’re a mast er at pushing the ball into others’ court ,” said Roopa to Sandhya’s mirt h. Som etim e lat er, as Sathyam and Raja Rao began chit -chatting, Sandhya assisted Roopa in preparing dosas and sambar for breakfast . “ With all t hat clout , it m ust be a heady feeling working in the departm ent,” said Raja Rao to pep up Sat hyam . “ True, it’ s glamorous at the t op, but it ’s drudgery all the way dow n, more so for honest folks like us. The conscientious carry the burden, and the unscrupulous walk away w ith the spoils,” grumbled Sathyam. “ I always felt that there’ s a sim ilarity between a m iddle-class hom e and a governm ent office; one earns for half-a-dozen, and a score gossip as one works,” said Raja Rao, “ If anyt hing, the reservations ruined the work cult ure further; seeing t he way the scheduled cast s and scheduled t ribes s are promot ed out of turn, in double-quick t im e, others have com e to doubt t he virt ue of hard work. The net result is t hat hardly anyone w orks in the departm ent s t hese days,” lamented Sathyam. “ It ’s the way he cribs to whoever list ens; either he makes you m ad by narrat ing how he’s being ignored in spit e of his w orth, or bores you to deat h by enlight ening how the reservat ions are ruining the nat ion,” said Roopa to Sandhya in const ernation. “ Why don’ t you see that as his crit icism of the syst em ?” said Sandhya. “ Could be but t here must be a limit to one’ s lam ent,” said Roopa, and added as t hough on a second thought, “ more so in mat t ers like these.” “ I can underst and your feelings but I think that it’s a subject that needs to be viewed w ith a broader perspective,” they heard Raja Rao t ell Sathyam . “ I’m sorry if I’ve given you t he impression that I’m unsympathet ic towards them,” Sathyam said in clarification. “ No, t hat ’s not the case. What I feel is, and let m e t ell you, it ’s t he general percept ion, that the governm ent could support them by ext ending all possible help to pursue their educat ion. But let the job market be t ruly open for com pet ition.” “ I don’t t hink that ’s how w e should approach this issue,” said Raja Rao. “ Let m e explain by way of an example. Would any father leave his plain daught er remain a spinst er sim ply because none com es forward to marry her? You know that he would go round the globe t o find her a m at ch. When it com es to that, he w ould cough up the ext ra buck for her dow ry. If her bet t er endow ed sist ers w ere to grouse for that concern, w on’t he say that he owed it to her t o see her m arried as w ell?” Raja Rao paused to see how Sathyam react ed, and finding no bad blood, he continued, “ In case a son doesn’t shine as w ell as his siblings, would the father bask in the glory of his glorious sons, leaving the sluggard t o his fat e? Why, he w ould certainly support him all through besides bequeathing a litt le m ore t o him in his will. If his ot her sons w ere t o cry foul, the father’s soul might as well wonder in the heaven, ‘Why do these guys, enjoying the fortunes of a bright birt h, envy the props I provided for their poor brother?” “ It ’s a peculiar feature of human nature that we love t o see those close to us, clim b up the st aircase of success, but , behind us. If t hey happen t o cat ch up with us, needing t o share the space with them , we feel choked, and w ere t hey t o overtake us, w e feel morose, though they m ight remain friendly. It is because, used as we were t o condescend to descend in our affections t o them, w e lose countenance, not counting our jealousy, that they too m ight seem pat ronizing from their alt ered stations,” art iculat ed Raja Rao even as Sandhya brought for them some crispy dosas with spicy sambar t o savour. “ By the sam e logic, is it unfair to expect the qualified from the scheduled cast s t o fend for them selves?” quest ioned Sat hyam spirit edly. “ That ’s com paring apples with oranges,” retort ed Raja Rao. “ Aft er doling out som e sops here and providing a few props t here, w ere t he governm ent t o wash off it s hands, w on’t that amount to a half m easure? It has to support them at every stage until their faculties are developed, needing no more concessional crut ches. If others feel aggrieved about that, it only am ounts to grieving over the recom pense t o the unfortunat es while t hem selves enjoying the benefit s of a more fortunat e birt h. Not that I can’ t underst and t he individual inequities these reservations bring about, but for t he great er social good, w e’ve got to put up w ith these aberrations. Aft er all, it’ s t hese reserved posit ions that enable them to hold their head high in the social milieu, which had spurned them all along.” “ But for how long and that too w hen they t end to m isuse t he sops?” said Sathyam “ M aybe, you’ve answ ered that yourself,” said Raja Rao. “ Hasn’ t the societ y, all along, ost racized them physically and suppressed them m orally, thereby sinking their collective consciousness into a morass. Knowing w ell what it takes to regain one’s self-confidence aft er a reverse or t wo, would it be difficult to imagine w hat it takes for t he so-called SCs and STs to start believing in them selves? Do you honest ly believe that t he climat e today is conducive to their em ot ional integration w it h t he social mainst ream? It ’s surprising t hat we fail t o put ourselves in their sectarian shoes, knowing full w ell that birt h, aft er all, is a chancy proposit ion.’ “ But of what avail are t he second-generation reservations?” questioned Sathyam. “ For t hat , let’s consider the affect s of the withdrawal syndrome,” explained Raja Rao. “ As can be expect ed, som e among the newly-arrived won’ t make t he grade and go back t o square one. If not propped up in their alt ered stat ions, won’t their fall from grace, besides dem oralizing the affect ed individuals, dent the communit y confidence? So the key t o their ennoblement lies in t heir cast e confidence brought about by the individual advancem ent. It should be realized that those mandatory ministerial berths and the quota of secretaries would only help butt ress t heir communal self-wort h. M ore so, to bett er their lot, their general welfare is to be addressed while their com munit y should be helped to build it s econom ic base through tiny ent erprises.” “ In spit e of being the most favoured lot, won’t t hey still desert our religion?” said Sathyam. “ That ’s the irony of the Hindu societ y,” said Raja Rao sadly. “ So long as they’ re in our fold, we don’t feel that they are our own, but w hen t hey leave us in frust ration, w e blame it upon t hem ! What’ s the use of gloat ing over our great religion, when we bar t hem into our gods’ abodes? So, w e never give them cause to believe that Hinduism is t heir religion, do we?” “ M aybe, that’s the way to look at t hese issues,” said Sathyam resignedly. “ So the moral of the st ory is to view the other side of the fence w ith sensitive eyes,” said Roopa, who brought som e coffee for Raja Rao and m ilk for Sat hyam . The rest of t he day turned out to be unevent ful for Roopa and Raja Rao though it enabled Sathyam and Sandhya get closer to each other. When they reached the Secunderabad Railway St at ion t hat late noon, as Raja Rao ret rieved the luggage from the cloakroom , Sathyam volunt eered t o keep pace with the coolie ahead of them . Noticing that Raja Rao st opped at the Higginbotham s, as Roopa slow ed down, pret ending t o m end her chappal, Sandhya proceeded t o cat ch up w ith Sathyam. Sensing Roopa’ s gesture, Raja Rao quickly picked up the current ‘Sunday’ and reached her hurriedly. “ So,” he said. She gave him a longing look. “ I miss you,” he said. “ I’m lost ,” she said, without raising her head. “ Can I hope?” he said ardently. Having kept quiet for long, as if lost for words, as she was about t o respond, realizing t hat they neared Sat hyam by t hen, as though to forewarn her, he called out to him . In tim e, with the luggage secured in the coupe, as Sathyam and Sandhya w ere lost in t heir conversation, Raja Rao and Roopa lent their eyes t o t heir love for it s soulful expression. Thus, when the guard w hist led, Roopa felt as though Raja Rao’s eyes w hispered, ‘I love you.’ ‘As his presence has set the narrative of m y life in poetic prose, won’t his absence make it prosaic all again?’ Roopa thought as the M inar Express w as about to m ove, and w aving to them as the t rain chugged out of the station, she w ondered, ‘ Will I be able to make my life poet ic in his passion? Am I dest ined for him?’ Chapter 20 Blueprint in the Offing Unm indful of the sent im ental ways of it s passengers, as the M inar Express kept it s w est ward course, reclining in a first class coupe, Raja Rao rem inisced over that incom plete encount er with Roopa. ‘Had I not withdraw n from her what w ould she have said at our parting?’ he began t o speculat e, ‘Could she have said ‘yes’? Well, she might not have been so forthright, but surely she would’ve said som ething to break the ice. But t hen, haven’t we already conveyed our m utual craving in revealing ways? What remained was just affixing the ‘I Love You’ stam p t o t he cover of our mutual at t raction. M aybe w e w ould’ve done that if only w e w ere slow er by a st ep or t wo, but st ill, isn’t it clear t o both of us that we love each other? No denying that and m y life m ay not be worth living without possessing Roopa, in spit e of having Sandhya.’ Then turning his attent ion t o Sandhya, he found her lost in her own t hought s. ‘Im m ersed in her ow n em otions, she failed to see m y flirt ations w it h her friend, so it seem s,’ he thought to his relief. ‘In the euphoria of her excit em ent, our unm istakable att raction seem s t o have appealed to her as an ext ension of her own affect ion for both of us. What a happy nat ure it is, a blessed soul, really.’ “ Are you upset?” he said at length. “ You know how I m iss her,” she said, rest ing her head on his shoulder. “ M aybe, you needn’t for long,” he said taking her hand. “ I hope so,” she said looking at him as though for a reassurance. “ You may begin t he countdown,” he said pressing her hand. “ Why not reduce the count t o five?” she said kissing his hand. “ M aybe with Roopa’s im petus,” he said smilingly. “ That’ s lovely put,” she said. “ By the way, is Sathyam her relative of sort s before t heir marriage?” he said. “ No, but why that question?” she said, even though she underst ood his int ent. “ Frankly speaking, she deserves a bett er match than that . So I felt she could’ve been married off to him to keep her wit hin the fam ily. It’s a pit y that many t end t o slight a bright mat ch for an ungainly fam ily alliance,” he said ruefully. “ Generally I don’t blah-blah others’ affairs but as I feel you’re as much m y friend as husband, I think you should know about her affairs as she is one of us,” she said m oved by the m om ent. “ You can t rust m e as a friend m ore t han as a husband for as a friend, you would find m e frank in discussion, but as husband, I might be select ive in disclosing. I believe t hought less openness hurts m ore t han it helps relationships,” he said w it h an eye on a probable fut ure scenario. “ I appreciat e that,” she said, turning thought ful herself. “ It ’s not frankness alone that brings a couple closer but it s m ut ual respect that gives rise t o their toget herness,” he said fondling her hand. “ With Roopa and m e, the feelings of friendship fuse w ith the emotions of affect ion,” she said, as her face bright ened. “ I suppose, that’s possible only in friendship bet ween wom en. Though I am happy for you, I am worried about her,” he said gravely. “ Why it is so?” she said, puzzled. “ It ’s apparent that theirs is an int ellectual mismat ch, and given her faculties, she could be a might ily bored housewife by now ,” he began assessing Roopa’s marital condition. “ So to say, she could be on the thin edge of married ice, a fall from which w ould be hurt ful, though life it self could be laborious. Sooner or lat er, it’s possible that her life may lead her int o a liaison for it’s the first resort of a dist raught woman.” “ You’re only half-right,” she said. “ What ever it was, she wasn’t enthused about him from the very beginning, though later on, she m oulded herself int o a dut iful wife. But about the t em ptations and all, t hough it may be t rue otherw ise, she is no run-of-the-m ill for that .” “ Left t o her, what you say may be t rue,” he said concernedly. “ But do realize that she doesn’t live in an ivory t ow er anyway. Any novice can sense the void in her wedded life, w hich would make him think in t erm s of conquest and his at t em pt s to w oo her insensibly disturb her moral equilibrium to push her into his arm s for solace. What ’s w orse, his desert ion that is a corollary t o seduction could dent her self-wort h to her detrim ent. It ’s not the moral aspect liaison that bothers m e for it ’s her privat e affair, but it ’s t he possible fallout of t hat which should alarm us.” “ Oh, you scare m e really,” she said clut ching at his hand. “ By t heir very nature, affairs t end to be short-lived, often brought t o a premature end by t he param ours, and st rangely t hough, yet it won’t be the case of ‘once bitten t wice shy’ w ith the deprived wom en. Bitt en by the novelty bug, the dit ched one could it ch for a new one to supplant the lost one. Thus, having got addict ed to the illicit thrills, on the sly, she could jump from one bed to another with gay abandon, and God forbid, if her life were t o follow this pat t ern, then she could end up depraved in the end,” he said sounding pensive, “ Worried though, I don’t think she w ould ever com e t o that ,” she said, and t ried t o believe w hat she said. “ It ’s a pity t hat she has to suffer all t he m ore for her sense of decency,” he said him self feeling the pain. “ A life of despair, in spite of her disposition, would expose her t o the seducers, and t he strain of resisting their advances could sap her resolve at som e st age. Added to t hat is the burden of having had to remain a dut iful wife, and you could figure out t he stresses and strains on her sensit ive soul, all of which m ight combine to make her vulnerable to the male advances. It’s thus; the boast s of m en about their conquests would seem hollow for it ’s t he vulnerabilit y of w om en that fet ches them their favours. That way, if she were t o succum b in her m om ent of w eakness, then she would suffer even more for having failed to desist from it.” “ Oh, God, but w hat can be done?” she sounded helpless. “ I don’t t hink her problem lends it self t o a clear-cut solut ion, but surely, her dest iny w ould have it s own agenda for her life that we will see as it unfolds,” he said t hought fully. Seeing her readily lost in contem plation, he thought over the matt er, ‘Why my speculat ion has upset her. But isn’t the possibility of Roopa’s failing for real? Surely somebody is bound to lurk in the st reet corner to barge into her hom e to bring about that. But won’t I like to be proved w rong?’ ‘Why didn’t it occur to m e when I was w it h her?’ he thought as such a prospect pained him no end. ‘How my fascination for her overshadow ed m y faculties! Oh, how she could drive m en into dist ract ion! Isn’t she likely to at t ract m any? If only her favoured man happens t o be a genuine lover, t hen that liaison w ould be a blessing in disguise for her. I could be t he one, but would her fat e make her wait for m e? What w ith the passage of tim e, won’t her enamour for m e wane paling her passion? Why w ouldn’t som eone w it h the right opportunity replace m e in her heart? That too as her affect ion for m e hasn’t crossed the threshold of infatuation, had it?’ As t he possibility of losing Roopa unnerved him, be began to think, ‘Were she to com e across t he right man, she’ s likely t o be st eady w it h him. Left in the lurch then, won’t I languish for her all m y life? As for her, for physicalit y t ends to shape t he course of affairs, won’t she miss t he essence of love in the dictates of passion? Even if she com es int o my life eventually, w ouldn’t have the purity of our love got polluted by t hen?’ ‘What about my own love for her?’ he began to quest ion him self. ‘No denying, it’s lust ful t o the core. Am I not dying to possess her? But then, m y all-consum ing passion st em s from a deep-root ed affection for her, isn’t it? Can’t I perceive t he purity of m y feelings in the depths of m y soul? Surely, m y craving for her is not m erely confined t o possessing her, fabulous though she is. Why, am I not aim ing to bring about the fusion of our souls t hrough our em ot ional int egration? How fulfilled would I be, if only I could fill the void in her heart , once and for all. For all I know , her feelings for m e are no different . Haven’t I seen the longing of her soul in her gaze, even as I felt t he craving of her love in her touch? What else I can do than pray t hat she develops the pat ience to w ait for t he fruition of our love without becom ing a prey of seduction.’ ‘Why did I fail to declare m y love t o her?’ he thought as he went on recalling their nascent romance. ‘But then, haven’t m y eyes spoken volum es about my craving for her, so have hers, haven’t they? Couldn’t she have grasped m y em ot ions from m y innuendoes? True, she can’t be expected t o take all that as the t est imony of m y devotion to her. Had I been forthright in declaring m y love t o her, possibly t hat w ould have helped her persevere with her fascinat ion for m e. But then, by being rash, I could’ve offended her sensitivit y in the formative st ate of her affect ion for m e.’ ‘Why not I w rit e to her,’ he thought , as a way out of the predicam ent . ‘But t hen, isn’t it risky without knowing her sensibilities? Besides com prom ising m yself, I might creat e misgivings in her mind as w ell. What if she shows it to Sathyam, and worse, to Sandhya? Why court disast er?’ Dam pened by t hat t hought, as his spirit changed tack, he began to reason, ‘Is all this m erely a flight of m y hyper im agination? Who know s, being overst rung m yself, I’m going crazy in m y head? Clearly she has a crush on me but is that enough for her t o plunge into m y arm s? What ever, I should t ry m y luck with this remarkable w oman.’ In spite of Roopa’s possible indifference towards him , the feeling t hat , aft er all, she may not be in danger, as feared, eased his m ind. But seeing Sandhya still uneasy, he t hought , ‘Haven’ t I scared her unwit tingly? The poor t hing loves that lovely one so dearly. Won’t t hat m ake it easier for her t o reconcile to our affair, if it ever com es t o t hat?’ Sandhya, m eanwhile, tried to comprehend the sit uation with apprehension. ‘When it ’s so distressing im agining her fall, if ever it comes t o that, how horrible that could be?’ she began to think. ‘Could Roopa ever go ast ray? Generally speaking, what he said could be true, but isn’t she all too different ? Why doubt that at all. She isn’t going to be the one to lose her head to som e silly seducer. After all, won’t she keep vanity at bay? Surely, she would.’ Before she could put her doubt s at rest, she rem embered Roopa’s t ryst with Ravi at Tara’s place that brought her fears about her m ate’s fat e to t he fore. ‘M aybe t hat confirm s his apprehension about her sit uation,’ she becam e doubtful. ‘As she lost her head like it happened wit h m e in the city bus, can she keep her cool w hen som eone com es wooing her the next tim e? What if he is proved right?’ Convinced about her man’s reading of her mat e’s sit uation, she sought t o analyze the latt er’s mind-set , ‘It’s clear that Sathyam’ s love is of no avail to her for it lacks the vigour to dispel the euphoric clouds from her lovesick eyes. Won’t his wit fail t o cater t o her innat e int ellect and his dem eanour her romantic vision? And that m akes her vulnerable to the m ist y looks of the fast guys for sure. Why, hasn’t she t aken to my m an though she t ried to hide her feelings from me? Haven’t I sensed her romantic overtures to Raja, in spite of m y ow n excit em ent? Surely, he wouldn’t have lost sight of her apparent infatuation for him . How couldn’t he have w hen he was the object of her adorat ion? M aybe, that was at the back of his mind when he voiced his fears about her possible fall.’ ‘Would Roopa then becom e a target practice for assort ed seducers?’ she t hought in w orry. ‘Is she willy-nilly saunt ering on the volcano of t em ptation to be sw ept away by t he lava of illicit passion?’ As she shuddered to think furt her, she t ried to push that t hought away, only to get bogged down all the sam e. ‘But, how can I rem ain indifferent to her predicam ent given our own int im acy?’ she t hought , overcom e with empat hy for her friend. ‘Could I ever let m y t reasure slip int o t he garbage of vice? Shouldn’t I go to lengths t o see that she wouldn’t fall into alien hands? Won’t her indulgence with assort ed charact ers sour our own am our? Having t ast ed the sw eet ness of her ardour, how could I forego the ecstasy of our intimacy? Can I let things foul-up at her end, no way.’ ‘M aybe, I could’ve avert ed all t his had I been genuine w hen she want ed my opinion about Sathyam,’ she thought, going t o the root s of her friend’s dist ress. ‘What a sham e t hat I was evasive in m y reply, though I m yself wasn’ t impressed with him . How cruel t hat I placed the proverbial last st raw on her emot ionally unst able back then, t hough unw it t ingly. If only I had been frank with her t hen, her scales of doubt wouldn’t have got t ilt ed the wrong way. Didn’t I insensibly im pose this marital burden on her, forever? But t he poor thing never blam ed m e for that , and instead bore it all resignedly! What’s more, when I got the man of m en as m y man, she rejoices at m y fort une without a t inge of jealously? But m yself being on t he cloud nine how m ean of m e to let the poor thing pine for love. Didn’t Raja sum it up it all so w ell, when he said that she would suffer even more for the nobilit y of her soul? Oh, God, how can I alleviat e her suffering?’ Overw helm ed by pity for her mat e, she pict ured her future, ‘If w e m ove over to Hyderabad, I can be near her, but how t hat would help her? Finding m e joyous, won’t she suffer even m ore for her deprivat ion in comparison, unint ended though? Caught bet w een the kick of m y life and t he burden of her own, w on’t she be worse off then? But if we stay put in Delhi, she would have to fend for herself when she needs m e t he most . What a classic catch-22 to contend with!’ In the eventualit y of their moving over to Hyderabad, as the prospect of Roopa falling in love w ith Raja Rao dawned on her, she tried to envision it s affect on t heir lives. ‘Inst ead of bringing succor to her, won’t w e com pound her m isery?’ surm ised Sandhya. ‘If Raja t oo falls for her, barring a eunuch, which man can remain indifferent to her charm s? Romantic that he is, he is bound to rave about her. Isn’ t his concern for her already a point er t o that? But as t hey both love m e they may keep their infat uat ion under t he wraps? Won’t t hat m ake them suffer for m y sake, becom ing morose in turn? That would surely sour m y own m ood even as she is caught in a cleft of love and loyalty, leave lone fidelity.’ ‘Then, what’s the way out?’ she raked her brains. ‘Were I t o leave her to her fat e, and God forbid, she goes ast ray, w ould I ever be able to forgive m yself? M y guilt -filled conscience w ould ensure that I’m haunted all m y life, won’t it? Besides, I’m bound to feel m iserable seeing her in the dum ps. Sim ply put, I can never ever let her dow n, w hat ever it m ight take. So, w e must move near her t o let life take it s own course t hereaft er.’ ‘Which course could it take then?’ she t urned inquisitive to gaze at the crystal ball. ‘All said and done, Roopa may not cross t he threshold of her romant ic leanings, and might remain within the bounds of marital fidelit y. In t hat case, our com ing toget her will rest ore t o us what w e’ ve been m issing in our separat ion. Even if Raja get s at tract ed to her, unable to cross the hurdle of her fidelity, he would confine him self in his platonic plane.’ How ever, wondering whether sentim entalit y alone chem ist ry, she tried to grasp the applied physics of adultery, form ulat es m an-w oman ‘Should Roopa it ch for an adult erous hit ch, given his personality, as w ell as his proxim it y, Raja could easily out smart her every other suitor. So be it, if that’s the way it t urns out to be. Though I might have liked to keep m y m an all for myself, by the way, w hich w oman doesn’t want it that way; dispensation seem s to be the only m eans of m y atonem ent, isn’t it ? If I share m y man with her, t hat would bring cheer into her life unburdening m y guilt as w ell. Even otherw ise, isn’t it a logical progression for our lesbianism ? M ore so, it would ensure that her amours are kept in-house, isn’t it? Is it t hat t he ménage a t rois we w ere jesting about all along seem s to be on hand? If so, w hat am ours w e three could bring into our orgies. As for Raja, it am ount s to having his bett er half wit h her other half, as m uch for his sat iation as for m y salvat ion.’ Having fantasized about t heir t hreesom e sex, she turned her focus on Sat hyam ’s fate. ‘Wouldn’ t it be unfair t o him ?’ she thought as her sym pat hy for him affect ed her. ‘But, how could it be helped? M aybe, it doesn’t help man taking a lively w ife if he’s not up t o the mark. What a fine soul he otherwise is! What a pit y love doesn’t reckon one’s goodness in it s yearning. Well, if Sathyam were dest ined to be cuckolded, wouldn’t it be in order t hat Roopa is cajoled in Raja’ s arm s. Queer t hough, it ensures that she rem ains in the fam ily fold.’ As she couldn’t help but envision the scale of their love t riangle, she thought , ‘Once w e shift t here, t hey w ouldn’t be able to hide t heir craving from m e for long. It could be a great fun int ercepting their signals and decoding t heir innuendos. I could even scare t hem occasionally by dropping hint s that I am at spying. Won’t t hat pep up their sense of adventure before I bind them in our amorous fold? Isn’t it maddening imagining the sexual union with t he man and the woman I love!’ The thrill she felt in fantasizing their threesom e in t hat fresh light , further fuelled her love for her man and her mat e, fusing them all int o one erot ic whole in her consciousness. “ Don’t get upset dear, your love will save the day for her,” he said, as she looked at him aft er t hat long reverie. “ I count on your support,” she said. “ It ’s a given from m e,” he said taking her hand. “ Can I take it on her behalf?” she sm iled m irthfully. “ If you can keep it with you,” he said sm ilingly. “ Along with what she has for you,” she said opening the food packet s. “ What is that?” he said. “ Wait for that,” she said sm ilingly. Som etim e aft er they had t heir m eals, coyly looking at the window, she said, ‘Pull down t he shut ter.’ “ If you excuse m e,” he said, kissing her forehead. “ If you please I’ll make you moody,” she said am orously. “ Your mere thought is enough for that, but som ehow ,” he said patt ing her head. “ I underst and, good night,” she said kissing his hand. ‘Clearly he’s dist urbed, so he’s in love with m y lovey,’ she t hought endearingly. Envisioning a love-filled future for three of them, soon Sandhya slum bered on the lower bert h in that coupe for t wo. Chapter 21 Enduring Longing That morning as the M inar reached Dadar, Raja Rao and Sandhya were all set t o alight, and exiting from the railway st at ion, with a couple of port ers, who carried their luggage, they hired a cab t o Chem bur. And in time, Sandhya st epped int o a spacious flat t o the warmt h of her in-law s’ greetings. “ Any com plaint s about m y son?” said Gopala Rao in jest , taking him self away from The Times of India. As Sandhya sm iled coyly, enquired Visala, “ How’re your parent s?” “ I brought their pranaam s to all of you,” said Sandhya. “ How’ re the Thimmaiahs?” enquired Gopala Rao. “ They’re evergreen as ever,” said Raja Rao. “ How’ s our house by t he way?” asked Visala. “ Sandhya m ay t ell you,” said Raja Rao. “ Was it all funny Sandhya?” Visala sm iled. “ Oh, no, it’s vintage” said Sandhya reminiscently. “ How’ s Roopa?” asked Visala. “ She’s fine,” said Sandhya. “ We all took to her a lot, more so Hyma,” said Visala. “ She too holds you all very highly,” said Sandhya, and felt, ‘it’s good that his family has taken to her, and that helps, just in case.’ “ How’ s Hyma and m y B-I-L?” enquired Raja Rao. “ They’re all so eager to spend som e tim e w ith Sandhya,” said Visala. Aft er having a good tim e at her fat her-in-law’s house, towards the evening, Sandhya accompanied Raja Rao to his sist er’s place at Andheri. “ We should’ve received you at t he railway station but m y brot her was not for it,” said Hym a apologetically to Sandhya. “ Obviously Raja want ed to go t he ext ra m ile alone wit h his bride,” said Ranga Rao making Sandhya blush to the root s. “ You look exquisit e,” said Hym a hugging Sandhya. “ It ’s all your affection,” said Sandhya clasping Hym a. “ How’ s Roopa?” asked Hyma still holding Sandhya. “ She is fine and is all praise for you,” said Sandhya w it hdrawing herself. “ She’s quite im pressive,” said Ranga Rao. “ Had she had her way, she would’ ve been well on her way to join your profession,” said Sandhya rem iniscent ly. “ So the m edical fraternity is deprived of a charming lady doctor,” said Ranga Rao mim icking sadness. “ This is M CP syndrom e, the inabilit y to value wom en other than for t heir beaut y,” said Hym a in mock anger. “ Raja, sorry I couldn’t make it t o your m arriage but am glad that you got a nice wife,” said Perindevi, Ranga Rao’s m ot her, aft er taking a close look at Sandhya. “ You look fift y at your seventy,” Raja Rao greet ed her while Sandhya bow ed at the old w oman’s feet. “ Thank m y grand children for that ,” said the old w oman affectionately as Prem and Preet i, aged five and three, flocked t o her. “ Don’t you remem ber m e?” asked Sandhya, inviting them into her arm s. “ You’re our beaut iful Sandhya auntie,” said Preeti w hile Prem remained shy. “ Raja, I’ve heard t hat your father-in-law perform ed your wedding in grandeur; by the w ay, how m uch dow ry did your wife fet ch?” said Perindevi. “ It ’s a case of Archimedes Principle applied to matrim ony, the more a groom is taken t o the bride all t he m ore he loses on the dowry. So m y father-in-law weighed m e light on that count,” said Raja Rao in jest . Aft er a m irthful tim e, followed by dinner, as they st epped out of t he house, said Raja Rao to Sandhya, “ It ’s great fun with relat ives if w ife is around.” “ M ore so, if her father is made fun of,” she said t rying to be sarcast ic. “ You know all that was in jest ,” he said cajoling her. “ Have I asked for your clarification?” she said rather curt ly. “ So you want to hang m e wit hout a hearing,” he said tying his handkerchief to his neck. “ I only t hought you’ve t he gift of the gab, now I see t hat you’ve theat rics to boot,” she said in t he sam e vein. “ Even in your kaali avatar, you look angelic,” he said endearingly. For once, she seem ed not pleased, and, in time, they boarded the city bus that barged in t o the bus st op. Aft er that long ride of silence, when t hey reached hom e, Sandhya headed to the bed st raight , though aft er greet ing her in-law s. “ Why t his fuss over som e lightheart ed bant er?” said Raja Rao, w ho followed suit . “ Who prevent ed you from finding a fat her-in-law who could’ve w eighed you in gold?” she said t urning her back on him. “ You’re God’ s own gift t o m e, let’s forget about it ,” he said taking her into his arm s. “ Let’ s forget about it , good night ,” she said nudging him away. “ Sandhya, do realise that sex is the nat ure’s gift for both the sexes. If you mistake t hat you’ve m ore t o give than receive in it , then t he wom an in you would lose as wife for you won’t be able to experience t he joy of being a female. So don’t ever dem ean lovem aking as an inst rum ent of sexual blackmail. It pays you to know that sex is not about male sat iation alone but it is as m uch a w omanly fulfillm ent,” he said persuasively. “ I’m really sorry, I’ll never m ake t hat mist ake again,” she said, and m oved int o his out st ret ched arm s. “ It ’s not entirely your fault t hough; I should’ve know n that any bride would be sensit ive when it com es to her parent s. You may know that I value your parent s as much as I do m ine,” he said, as he reached for her lips to savour t he flavour of their first reconciliat ion. “ Now I love your m ind too, I’m proud of you, really,” she said, and initiat ed their deep kissing. It ’s in the realm s of m an’s vision t o ennoble his wom an by enabling her t o tast e the fruit s of femininity rather t han know t ow ing to her fallacies to possess her womanliness for the satiation of his carnal cravings. ----Aft er grappling w ith Bom bay’s gripping hum idit y for a week, the Raja Raos had to encount er New Delhi’s sw elt ering heat that June-end. When Sandhya stepped into the drawing room of m odest t wo-bedroom apartment in Karol Bagh, she experienced a rare sense of belonging though she knew that it was a rent ed one, and as if to cem ent her sentim ent, Raja Rao lost no tim e to take her int o his arm s. “ Sorry, I’ve been a spendthrift ,” he said, in explanation of lack paraphernalia therein. “ Surely it ’s a bachelor’ s prerogat ive,” she said smilingly. “ I’m sure you would induce in m e a m arried man’s responsibilities,” he said. ‘Why not I take up a job,’ she said enthusiast ically. “ A t housand or m ore t hat you could earn m ay not be needed now, but w on’t be sufficient lat er if need be. So bett er you improve your qualificat ion and acquire skills for a paying career,” he said. “ I’ve an apt it ude for int erior design; I like to take a diplom a course in that,” she said excit edly. “ When we go on our own, you can complem ent m y architectural pursuits,” he said shaking her hand. “ I love to cont ribute in all your endeavours,” she said kissing his hand. Then following him into other port ions, she felt the place was her very own, and as t hough to express her gratitude t o him for having given her that feeling, she enlaced him from behind, and said fondling him , “ As I’ve a hom e to call mine, I feel I’ve an identit y of m y own,” she said feeling fulfilled. “ So, I’m left out ?” he said in jest. “ Even if I want to, I know you won’t let m e,” she said clinging t o him closely. “ Though it’s a bit prem ature, a lit tle lecture may not be out of place,” he said as they began having sam osas they picked up on the way. “ I’m sure you would’ve shined as a lecturer as w ell,” she said admiringly. “ It ’s as well that w e all need som e space on which w e’ve t he lien; while man protect s his workplace, woman clings on to the kit chen. Try asking a clerk to move his table to an obscure corner, though he might not oppose, but yet he would be resent ful. The mother-in-law syndrom e, t o som e ext ent , is root ed in wom an’ s compulsive need t o reign in her hom e. When she is forced to share it w ith her daughter-in-law, she show s it in not -so-subt le ways, and when it comes to a wom an’s equation with her man, it’ s said t hat she m ight even suffer a rival in his bed but wouldn’t like share her kit chen wit h any, st range t hough it may seem !” he said m eaningfully. “ I hope to mature by then,” she said. “ Given your sweet nature, I’m sure you w ould,” he said affectionat ely. ‘Smart t hat he is, he’s preparing m e for sharing him with Roopa, as if I need any preparation for that, and when it com es t o sharing t he kit chen, it’s altogether different w ith t he lesbians,’ she thought. Shortly before noon, they w ent t o the M achala Rao’s place, where it all began, for lunch, and stayed there till t he evening, from w here; t hey reached the M alhot ras, m embers of Raja Rao’s bridge circle. “ So, you’ve a dealt yourself a GS of a wife,” said M alhot ra, obviously im pressed with Sandhya. “ Welcom e to the new m em ber,” said M rs. M alhotra. “ But I say, we sorely missed you at Panaji,” said M alhot ra. “ How did it all go?” asked Raja Rao. “ It ’s m ore m emorable off-the-table than on-the-table,” said M alhotra. “ In the Swiss League, we failed t o make it to t he final round by just three VPs. I’m sure your presence w ould’ve seen us through.” “ What ’s w ith the progressive four?” Raja Rao enquired. “ I’m only coming to that, it’ s bet ter forgott en but for M V Rao’s classic comm ent,” laughed M alhot ra boist erously, and continued m irt hfully. “ Surely you rem em ber the ‘Queens of Trum ps’, the ladies t eam from Bom bay. As it happened, they overbid LS against Sinha and Uday and went t hree shy. Yet, as t hey event ually won the event , Sinha got ecstatic, as you know he would oft en, and for no good reason. So, he went on praising them, though rem inding them that he give them a zero on his table. Am used by Sinha’s raving, M V Rao pulled him aside and said, “ Sinha saab w hat ’s so excit ing in giving a zero to wom en; had you taken ‘zeros’ from t hem and given them a ‘one’, it would’ve been the tim e t o gloat over.” As M alhot ra joined Raja Rao afresh to laugh their heart s out, their w omen looked at each other in em barrassm ent . “ You men and your part y jokes,” snarled M rs. M alhot ra. “ Sexual colour provides fillip t o good hum our like not hing else,” retort ed M alhot ra. “ What else?” said Raja Rao. “ M rs. Rajan was enquiring about you. She st ill rem embers the way you squeezed her hand at M adras last year,” said M alhotra. “ M rs. Rao may wonder what this squeezing is all about,” said M rs. M alhot ra in all sm iles. “ That ’s why I say, let ’s init iat e the bride into bridge right away,” said M alhot ra, reaching for a couple of new packs. As t he novice partnered the expert then, they had a long session at t he table, followed by the Nort h Indian culinary that sat iat ed t heir palat es as w ell. “ With M rs. Rajan, it should’ ve been a pleasant experience for the ladies’ m an, even in bridge t erm s,” said Sandhya adm iringly, as they left the M alhot ras only to reach a nearby Ice-cream Parlour. “ It ’s more int erest ing if seen from the angle of hum an proclivities,” said Raja Rao. “ In M adras, last year, M alhot ra and I chanced to play against a t eam from the Gym khana Club. In the open room , w e had for our opponent s M rs. Rajan and her partner. Int roductions over, I asked her w het her she knew Hema, m y cousin, a regular at their club. Though she acknowledged their acquaintance, yet she didn’t enquire further, apparently treating m e as a poor cousin of her club mat e,” he said. “ Really!” said Sandhya. “ But during the course of play, I chanced to execut e a squeeze on her hand that changed her att itude t owards m e; for t he rest of the tournam ent she sought m y com pany at every turn, enquiring about my further exploits in the m eantim e,” he said rem iniscently. “ It ’s obvious that she valued t he player in you,” said Sandhya, and added, “ but st ill I w onder why she wasn’t im pressed w ith you to start w it h!” “ Because she didn’t have your eyes,” he sm iled. “ Enough is enough, if only I’ve the power, won’t I blind all your wom en prospect s?’ she said heartily. “ You may know t hat it’ s not uncommon for people to lack equanim ity in their int eractions - eit her t hey turn obedient to those they imagine as superior to them in t heir st ation or remain indifferent t o those t hey perceive as inferior to them, of course, going by m ere appearances. But if circum stances were to rem ove their m ental blocks, t hen som e of them m ay warm up t o the deserving. You know the one thing that appealed to m e in Roopa’s persona is her sense of equanim it y; not t hat you lack any, but it’s remarkable wit h her, given her background,” he said. “ You’ ve read her w ell; wonder how the poor t hing is; she prom ised that her lett er w ould receive us in Delhi, but,” she said in vexat ion. “ Won’t she have her own t hings to att end? You can’ t afford t o let such t hings upset you. I wish you develop a hobby, as your involvem ent w ith it provides you t he necessary diversion from the disappointm ent s of life. The wider your int erest s are, t he lesser w ould be the tim e left for worrying,” he said persuasively. “ But st ill, hope you would st ick t o your promise t o shift,” she said st ret ching her hand. “ How do you expect m e to forget that when it promises so much t o us, let m e see how t o go about it , and sooner at that,” he said taking her hand. As Roopa’s aura cam e into his focus at that, Raja Rao too t urned m elancholic as he kick st art ed his Bullet. ----Try as she did, Sandhya couldn’t feel at hom e in t he count ry’s capital as it s social et hos, dom inat ed by ostentat ion offended her sensit ivit y, nursed in refinement . Added t o that, her longing for Roopa and her brooding over their reunion m ost ly confined her t o hom e, precluding any possibility of socializing, save her regular int eractions with the M adhava Raos and the M alhotras. It was in that st at e of mind that she felt t he place a t ransit cam p, and failed to get involved with the life and tim es of New Delhi. When the Inst itute of Int erior Design, as though t o drag her out of her hibernat ion, had grant ed her adm ission, Raja Rao, who cam e hom e early that day, excit edly told her, “ I’ve great news for you.” “ So do I,” she sm iled. “ Let m e guess,” he felt her belly. “ Why are you in such a hurry?” she caressed his head. “ You know I’ve a double stake in that, as m an and as a palmist . What’s the news you’ve for m e?” he said, continuing t o caress her. “ You t ell m e yours,” she said. “ Ladies first , if you please,” he said. “ Yes, t o list en,” she said, sm ilingly. ‘How smart of you, congrat s, you’ve got the adm ission,” he said visibly pleased. “ Thank you but what a coincidence it is that Roopa too has taken up the correspondence course, in Personnel M anagem ent, of Annamalai Universit y. She w rot e t hat she start ed learning t yping and shorthand as well,” she said kissing him . “ It ’s nice to hear all that,” he said, wondering w hether it was a sign of his continued influence on Roopa. “ Don’t you want to know how you figure in her mind?” she said as though to t ease him . “ Isn’t it full of regards and all that?” he said pret entiously. “ She wrot e that as her friendly half, you’ve im mensely influenced her; I t oo believe you deserve all her praises,” she said heartily. “ It ’s really a relief t hat she’s on t he right t rack; but why such a long hiatus?” he said. “ She want ed to write t o us only after making som e progress, why not you read it yourself,” she said handing him the lett er. “ A beaut iful hand,” he said, as he gave the lett er back to her. A few days lat er, said Raja Rao to Sandhya, “ Som eone sounded m e out about an assignm ent in the U.S., and I told him t hat I will get back aft er talking to you.” “ Is that good for your career?” she said with m ixed feelings. “ You know I had been t here before. Now I’ve to look at that m ore as an opport unity for your exposure,” he said casually. “ You know the direction of m y dest iny,” she said coyly. “ Don’t I know,” he said as he felt relieved him self. “ What ’s t his West ern lifest yle all about?” she asked. “ In the West , they’ve a deep-rooted work culture, while the philosophy of life is bett er evolved here. For all t heir applicat ion of mind over things material, in m att ers of em otion, resilience seem s to be conspicuous by it s absence in t heir lives. While psychic care is the order of the day for every disorder of life, it may not take m ore t han get t ing t he boot at the office for one to start fearing about losing his woman as w ell!” he said as if he w ere summarizing the essence of his observat ions. “ Sadly for us,” he resum ed wit h a tinge of distress, “ our ineptitude at work t ells upon our st andard of living as w ell as the quality of life that is appalling in com parison. But our culture enables us t o take the vagaries of life in our st rides; why, a novice of a friend could double up for a psychiat rist to set things right for a jilted lover. So also, even a man in t he t hick of adversit y oft en com es unscathed t o look forward with fort it ude.” “ The fundamental features of t he tw o cultures, as I see them are - while the West ern t hought probes t he nat ure of m an, Indian philosophy delves deep into his soul,” he said in conclusion. “ It’s the t ragedy of our societ y that an evolved culture coexist s with the w orst of prejudices, hindering t he out look of our people. If only w e could t emper our social rigidit y with the western individualism, it would do us a world of good, but sadly, in the West t oo, over tim e, the individualism insensibly degenerat ed into rank selfishness.” As short ly thereafter, to the delight of all, as Sandhya found herself in t he family way, t o her amusem ent, Raja Rao got into the habit of fussing about her diet and all. When t hey w ere in t he seventh heaven of m arital bliss, as he was required t o go t o Hyderabad, disturbing his equanim it y, his dormant desire for Roopa cam e t o the fore. “ Take m e along,” said Sandhya excitedly as he broke the news. “ You know that it’ s st ill the init ial stages?” he said, feeling her tumm y. “ I know, but st ill,” she couldn’t hide her disappoint m ent. “ On your way for delivery, you can be w ith her till she drives you away,” he said to cheer her up. “ Won’t she play m idwife to m e if needed,” she said, and added mischievously. ‘Don’t fail t o m eet her, but before you st art looking at her, see her with m y eyes.” “ Send m e blindfolded then,” he said, amused. “ Never mind, she would bare your eyes to see my reflect ions in t hem ,’ she said, and t hought , ‘and hers as well.’ “ Shall I bring her to you as the capt ive of m y eyes,” he said, st riking a chivalrous pose. “ How I w ish you could do that,” she said closing her eyes. “ What a friendship!” he said taking her into his arm s. “ It ’s more of love,” said Sandhya dreamily. “ The t rue t est of love lies in it s ability to endure the longing,” he said, and wondered about the longevit y of Roopa’s infatuat ion for him. Sinking into Raja Rao’s em brace, Sandhya could sense the feeling behind his comm ent , and hoped that Roopa’s love for him would endure in spit e of everyt hing. Chapter 22 Villainy of Life Alight ing from t he Dakshin Express that m orning, Raja Rao headed t owards the Ritz Hot el in Hyderabad. Though the anxiet y he felt all through the journey for Roopa wore him out, on his way to the hotel, he felt rejuvenat ed with the thought that he was breat hing the very air scent ed by her breath. ‘If only I could stay with her,’ he t hought dreamily in the aut o he hired. ‘How surprised she would be if only I could knock at her door right away? And seeing m y luggage, how excit ed she would be at the prospect of host ing m e for wom an loves not hing more than t ending t he man she loves. Besides, won’t she know that my st aying t here would afford opportunities for our flirtation, and even more, who know s? But t hen without Sandhya around, it would be highly em barrassing for m e with Sathyam . Also, how could I ent ertain m y client s in their house?’ How ever, having checked int o the hot el, he was engrossed in adjust ing his plan t o m eet t he client’ s last m inut e changes, but, once in the café for breakfast, he started picturing his prospective encount er with Roopa lat er, ‘What would be her em ot ions in our int eract ions? It has been five m onths since we’ve last m et but st ill it feels as though I’ve seen her only the other day! Hasn’t her persona got et ched in m y m emory t o the last nuance? How excited she w ould be upon learning that I’m planning t o be on m y own here, to be near her. Why can’ t I suggest that she m ight assist m e as m y secret ary? Looks like, it ’s now or never for our affair. If I fail to declare my love now, it m ight be too late lat er, if it’s not already so. Well, let m e see what fat e has in store for us, but for now , I’ve to m eet her before Sathyam returns hom e from his office.’ While he went on visualizing t he possibilit ies of their fut ure liaison, as if to bring him back into t he present realit y, the bearer brought the bill for his signature. By calling it a day early at Subba Reddy’s ‘Sai Const ructions’, Raja Rao reached Roopa’s place in high spirit s, by three-t hirt y, but as he began ascending the st eps to her penthouse, as though his hopes got int o a descending m ode, he was beset with doubt s, ‘How can I assum e that she st ill loves m e?’ Though greeted by the door lock that only lent substance t o his surm ise, nevertheless, he decided to knock at the landlady’s door t o ascert ain t he situation. ‘What if she’s already into som e affair?’ he wondered as he went dow n t he steps to enquire about her. ‘Has she gone for a rendezvous w ith her lover?’ How ever, Lalit ha, the landlady, after ascert aining his credent ials, t old him , “ Only last night Sathyam underwent appendectom y. It was all so sudden, and there w as no t ime for her even t o inform his parent s. It was only this m orning that my old man sent them a t elegram . Poor Roopa is managing it all, on her own; but she’s really am azing! You can m eet them in the Gaganmahal Nursing Hom e, it ’s just nearby.” “ How sad,” he said, st riving not to show his relief on Roopa’s account, and t hought on his way to t he nursing hom e, ‘t he poor fellow, but how untim ely it is.’ When he pushed aside the curtain of t hat cabin, he saw Roopa administ ering som e m edicines t o Sathyam, and as his eyes met Sathyam’s, she t urned around t o find him to her perplexing delight . “ How do you feel now?” Raja Rao asked Sathyam. “ I’m much bet ter but what a surprise,” said Sathyam feebly. “ When have you com e?” Roopa asked Raja Rao at length. “ Only in the morning,” he replied, looking at her int ently to probe his standing in her affect ion. “ Where’ re you put up?” she asked him . “ At the Rit z Hot el,” he said, echoing her disappoint m ent. “ You should’ve stayed with us,” she said not hiding her vexation. “ I would’ve but I cam e on som e official work,” he said sounding apologet ic. “ So what , w e wouldn’t have disturbed your work,” she persist ed. “ I agree; I shall take not e of it for the fut ure,” he said. “ You bett er do that,” she said without taking her eyes off him. “ What about Sandhya?” “ She’s fine, but misses you as ever,” he said, and added as he handed her an envelope, “ she doesn’t t rust m y communicat ion skills.” “ She’s right,” she com ment ed meaningfully as she opened the envelope, and having savoured t he let ter, inform ed Sathyam , “ she sent her love and regards for you.” “ It ’s very nice of her, don’ t forget to convey m y affect ion for her,” said Sathyam t o Raja Rao. “ No way, you would be the second person she enquires about,” said Raja Rao and t urning to Roopa added sm ilingly, “ Need I tell who t he first one is.” “ Tell her that I’m unhappy with her for allowing you check into a hotel,” she said. “ Won’t t hat add to my woes?” smiled Raja Rao forcing a sm ile on her lips. Thereby, sit t ing by the bedside, Raja Rao ent ered int o a conversat ion with Sat hyam befitt ing the occasion. “ How long are you here?” she asked Raja Rao interrupting them at length. “ I’ll be leaving the day aft er tom orrow morning by the A P Express,” he said, and having noticed a disappoint ed look on her face, he added, “ If you find t im e to scribble som ething, I’ll pick it up tom orrow evening.” Aft er spending som e uneasy tim e w it h them, in t im e, he depart ed in disillusionm ent . ‘What an inopport une tim e to m eet her when the opportunity itself came aft er such a long t ime,’ he felt as he came out of t he room . Feeling let down by t he dam e luck thus, it didn’t even occur to him to t urn back to see if Roopa cam e aft er him . ‘Oh, doesn’t his m ere presence vibrate m y soul,’ thought Roopa as if in a trance. ‘Surely, he’s my man, if there’s ever one. But w here have all his searching glances gone? Why has he failed to best ow at least one am orous gaze to add to m y m em ory bank? Inst ead, he was absorbed with Sathyam nearly neglecting m e, didn’t he? Well, w hat else could he have done in Sathyam’ s presence than keep a poker face for m e? Yet , how handsome did he seem even in his m orose look. But what a queer rendezvous has fate chosen for m e with my beloved!’ Soon, as she began realising her failure in finding an avenue to lead him to her love, she couldn’t help but think deject edly, ‘ Why didn’t I take him out on som e pret ext ; at least I should’ve accom panied him till t he gat e; surely that wouldn’t have seem ed odd t o Sathyam or even com promised me with the hospital staff. But then, wasn’t it all so sudden and unexpect ed, and lo, before I could gather my w it s, he was gone!’ ‘But when he com es t omorrow, I shouldn’t slip up at any cost ,’ she resolved. ‘Hasn’t he suggest ed that I could scribble som ething, for him to pick up? Given the const raint s for a dialogue of love, isn’t it his innovat ion to let m e bare m y heart in writ ing. Won’t I make it a m emorable one for him, nay for us? Surely, he would exchange his own not e of ardour to be on par after all.’ ‘But can I ever express m y love to him in w rit ing as I experience it?’ she thought as she began figuring out how to pen her maiden love lett er. ‘Can a ream of paper carry t he craving of m y soul t o him? Besides, won’t borrow ed phrases mar love let ters, robbing them off originalit y? How else can a woman let her man see her soul t han in lovem aking? Why not I sim ply w rit e, Raja, just take m e int o your arm s to know how you’re loved. Yes, those dozen words will convey more than a million can carry.’ At that, while she felt excit ed, back in the Ritz, he remained pensive. ‘What rotten luck! I couldn’t even take a proper look at her. But how could I have, given the circum stances. Oh, but even in her glimpses, she looks as ravishing as ever, doesn’t she? If anything, in her pensive mood, she’s m ore bewit ching, and ardent t han ever before. Yet can I ever make her mine?’ thought Raja Rao, all again. As if t o reassure him self, of her possible possession, he recalled her longing look and furt ive glances, ‘It looks like she st ill loves m e. Isn’t t hat clear from her amorous gaze? Why, it’s her craving for m e t hat sustains m y longing for her, isn’t it? If ever w e could make it, then our unfolding passion could lead us into a whirlpool of eroticism , w on’t it?’ What w it h his spirit s revived thus, as the room bell rang, he t hought, ‘Well, there’s always a tomorrow , but for now, it m ust be Subba Reddy.’ “ I’ve dragged Ranga Reddy along for the pleasure of your acquaintance,” storm ed in Subba Reddy with his friend. “ I believe in reciprocit y,” said Raja Rao in welcome. “ Ranga Reddy owns half of Rayalaseema,” said Subba Reddy, patt ing him. “ You can safely reckon a t rillionth of it for a realist ic figure. But I’m sure he couldn’t be off the mark when he says that you’re an archit ect to wat ch,” said Ranga Reddy to Raja Rao. “ Let a peg or two make way into his syst em and then w e can savour Raja Rao’s unfolding versatility,” said Subba Reddy, pulling a ‘Black Knight’ from his briefcase. “ Our friend is all praise for your ideas about the way dw ellings are to be built,” said Ranga Reddy, sipping the whisky. “ It ’s only a bett er talent that can spot som e talent in ot hers,” said Raja Rao heart ily. “ Let’ s divert the t opic to the fair sex for any way it ’s all bricks and cem ent all day long. If Ranga Reddy t oo want s to t urn into a realt or, so be it ,” said Subba Reddy, pouring another for him . “ You seem t o be put ting ideas into m y head,” said Ranga Reddy. “ It ’s not a bad idea at all, but let’s first finish with wom en as Subba Reddy w on’t get st art ed otherw ise,” said Raja Rao m irthfully. “ What ’s t he lat est in t he capital’s grapevine?” asked Subba Reddy. “ A man could have m urdered his wife for gain, or else a bored housew ife could’ve t aken a param our. That way, what ’s there to the scandals but for the change of characters, the plot being t he sam e? As for the grapevine, isn’t it all that is there to it?” said Ranga Reddy dism issively. “ But the t hrill of it never wanes, does it?” said Subba Reddy. “ That’ s t rue, whether we adm it t o it or not , all of us eye the scandals involving illicit sex. At the back of it could be our innat e urge to be the lover of every desirable dam e t hat is there, and so it ’s as if w e supplant those paramours in our daydream s. So as t o savour the sleaze, w e convert private affairs into public scandals and if the involved w ere t o be rich and famous, then w e publicize their liaisons in the tabloids,” said Raja Rao. “ What ever, it’s well set tled by now that all m en are promiscuous though som e claim t o be rom antic, whatever t hat m ay m ean,” said Subba Reddy. “ Prom iscuit y is m an’s nature w hile rom ant icism is one’s cult ure,” said Raja Rao. “ Isn’t it m ere semant ics?” said Subba Reddy dismissively. “ I t hink unrest rained urge is prom iscuity while passion refined is rom anticism ,” averred Raja Rao nevertheless. “ That sounds very much t rue,” said Ranga Reddy glancing at his wat ch. “ Now, I’ve som ething up m y sleeve. Raja Rao garu, I’m doing not hing wort hwhile at present, t hough I’ve the m eans t o take up alm ost anything. Why not w e join hands to rebuild Hyderabad, or rather more of it?” “ I’m planning to shift here soon though not to turn into a realtor, and in case you t ake t he plunge into the real estat e, I w ould love to be your consultant,” said Raja Rao. “ Done, let ’s schedule it for this vijayadasami . M eanwhile, I w ould tie up the loose ends,” said Ranga Reddy. “ Three cheers, as and when you set up shop here, you can count on m y account too,” said Subba Reddy. The next aft ernoon, when Raja Rao was all set to leave for t he Gaganmahal Nursing Hom e to m eet Roopa, he got a call from his boss, asking him t o join him for a crucial m eet ing next day at Bangalore. As he had not much t ime left to cat ch the Bangalore Express, he rushed to the reception to checkout . ‘Roopa would be terribly upset , but how can I m eet her now . What if I wire m y resignation and sort out things with her. No, that’s not fair even for love’s sake though it ’s said that everyt hing is fair in it , is it? It’s a matt er of m y professional credibilit y that I can ill-afford to lose, even for her sake. So, I shall t alk to her on phone and hint my love and devotion,’ he thought deject edly. Soon, as the telephone operator at the Nursing Hom e told him t hat Roopa was not t o be found there, Raja Rao left the m essage of his depart ure for her, and half-heart edly headed towards the Nam pally Railway Station. Thereaft er, w hen Roopa reached t he hospital in anticipat ion, as the unexpected developm ent devastat ed her, she sank on her knees, alarm ing recept ionist to summ on t he doctor on dut y. At length, having been recuperat ed by the tim ely care, a dist raught Roopa began to lam ent , ‘I shouldn’ t have gone hom e at all, but then, how m y m ot herin-law insist ed that I rest for a w hile. Oh, how I wanted t o hang on here till he cam e; it’s as if I had a prem onition! What’s t he sense in living if hard luck w ere t o t rick m e at every t urn in my life? Had I been around when he rang up, wouldn’t I have blurt ed out about m y love for him? Why doubt, haven’t I prepared m yself for every eventualit y? Even if I w ere to develop cold feet in t he end, I could’ve st ill cried over the line t o convey m y love. But then, why didn’t he just peep in, before leaving? Shouldn’ t he have, if he really cared; why did he leave m e in the lurch? How could he be so cruel to me?’ ‘Surely he could’ve com e, if only he cared,’ she cont inued in her depression. ‘Has he, as feared, lost interest in m e? Did he call on us yesterday only at Sandhya’ s behest ? Was all his court esy only for t he old t im es’ sake? Hadn’t I noticed that his looks lacked passion? How I deluded myself then, thinking t hat he could’ve been inhibit ed in Sathyam’s presence? Has his passion dissipat ed in our separation? Do I count for him anymore?’ Feeling m iserable, and unable to st eady her thought s, she w ent hom e, as though t o rem ove herself from t hat unlucky set ting. ‘Is it possible that his passion was no more than a passing int erest in m e?’ she felt nervous as she lay in her bed. ‘Am I dest ined to be disappoint ed in love as well? If only he cared to tell m e about it, I would’ve reconciled t o m y fate, but can I really? No, I can’t live w ithout him ; don’t I want him at any cost ? But what am I t o do now to make him mine? What if I beg him for love, but, did ever begging begot love? It’ s cold end that’ s in st ore for an unrequit ed love, if not , Sathyam w ould’ve been enjoying it s warm th in his heart h for so long now . So be it but my dest iny is linked t o his passion for m e; I’ll be blessed if he takes m e, and if not, I would be doom ed forever. Will he or won’ t he, oh, how t his suspense is killing me?’ ‘Surely, I was cheated by fat e t o air m y love for him , but w on’ t m y destiny let m e have the last laugh in our liaison,’ she thought as she pulled her missive for him and the lett er she w rot e to Sandhya from her blouse. Stirred by what she had w rit t en t o him, she began reviewing her sit uat ion, all again, ‘w on’t anxiet y consume me before all else? It might as well, so, w hy not I post it to him forcing fat e to reveal it s hand? But what if Sandhya reads it by mistake; in her longing for m y lett er, surely, she m ight not notice it s belonging, and won’t t hat seal m y fat e. If only I knew his office address! But how am I t o procure it now without giving rise to unwarrant ed suspicions? So, is it t hat I’ve reached the dead end of love; w ell t ime only w ould t ell if m y life keeps m e alive for him to rescue m e.’ Roopa reached that st age in love when a woman feels obliged to keep her love alive so as to sustain her belief in her ability to love and be loved. Chapter 23 Playboy at Play In the m id-January t hat sankranthi, the exhibit ion ground in Hyderabad cam e alive as t he fair curious of all ages swam ped the prem ises. While som e saunt ered in and out of t he assort ed pavilions, others flocked to the eateries, but , it’s the garm ent shops that t ook t he cake at the annual fare. All the same, the really curious, so it seem ed, st ood root ed at the vantage point s to ogle t he bevy of beauties that made it to the annual fair. In the pavilion of the Aust ral Indust ries, it s young executive direct or, ost ensibly reviewing the sales figures, was figuring out the vital st at ist ics of the female visitors. What was of part icular int erest to him was the im pression t he air-conditioners, their new product, made on the pot ential buyers. Sat isfied with the bot tom line, he cam e out int o the open t o ascertain t he proclivities of t he passing wom en, abounded by t hen. ‘Alm ost every dam e in her youth is beddable,’ he t hought, lighting his India King. ‘While som e m ay be repeatable, rarely are they keepable. But, each of them is obtainable, though with som e of t hem ; it may take som e tim e, and even a lit tle effort . Yet, it ’s t he quick-fire affair that affords m an ego satisfact ion as well as ready gratification; besides, won’t that make it easy for him to bring the curtains down, when it suit s him , though w om en t end t o hang on to t he illicit stage t hat m uch longer.’ ‘But should any lass resist long enough, then it would be a different ball gam e for the adventurer,’ he continued with his soliloquy. ‘Her reluctance to give in would only enhance her appeal by the day, deepening his desire by the night, which makes it difficult for him to rescind, and w hat ’s w orse, he might need the nuptial knot s to loosen her shackles of passion. And when it com es to t he married m an, court ing maidens could be a hindrance, for they harp on his divorcing the spouse as a prerequisite for t heir favours. But luckily for m en, t he hard nut s to crack are few and far bet ween, and st rangely, the harder t he st ruggle to w in women over, the sweet er would be the pleasure in having them , isn’t it?’ ‘But w it h their ripen wares, aren’t married w om en t ruly mouthwat ering?’ he continued to delve int o the proclivities of the fair sex. ‘Thankfully, they are ready-made for liaisons, though som e of t hem may need a man’s helping hand to cross the threshold of fidelity for t hem to indulge in their raunchy beds. By the way, what else draw s man to a woman than his desire to access her persona specifics; and once drawn, won’t she bare her veiled asset s for her fancied man to dabble with her private account s? But t hen, aft er a few of his jaunt s to her favoured joint , what else would be left in her for her lover t o explore and for her to offer? Thus, t hereaft er, how could she cat er to his need for variety and what else she could conjure up t o sustain her enticem ent? Oh, the poor thing, seeing his int erest in her wane, won’t she turn more so eager to keep him in good humor? But then, the m ore she gives him; even m ore she satiat es him, and it s only t im e before she finds her param our bypass her favours for lesser flavours. That’s the w oman’s bother, anyway, why should I bother?’ Not icing a pret ty lass of twent y pass him by, he thought , ‘Doesn’t she swing her seat as t hough to suggest that there’s a way right up t here? Why, won’ t the heaving boobs and a bulging bot tom with som ething passable for a waist in bet w een sum up woman for m an? Didn’t La Rochefoucauld say that man is t he sum total of all the wom en he had ever loved; probably what he m eant was that the m easure of a man’s wort h is the aggregate sum of the vital statist ics of the w omen he laid. Why not I m aintain a record of them all, at least from now on, t o know m y net wort h at the tim e of m y deat h, why shouldn’t I?’ ‘Not a bad idea,’ he felt amused, and pursued his course in the applied sex. ‘Nat ure made m e a ladies’ man and fortune gave m e t he m eans to lure them . Oh, how the cupid fellow thought it fit to endow w omen with an ear for flat tery as if to help his own ilk w orm their way into their arm s. Why wouldn’t a push with praise and a prod with gift make the babes bare t heir boobs? Besides, aren’t wom en blessed with a weakness for t he successful m en? How m oney best ow s status upon men that entails power over w om en, enabling the w ell-heeled t o pick up their fancied dames, so to say, at the drop of a hat at that ! Didn’t I tast e t he am orous flavours of countless randies in assorted w ays; it ’s as if every dame is ready for a lay, well, but on the sly. Isn’t snaring wom en int o bed as easy as luring the greedy into a bad bargain, with the right tactics? But when it com es t o wom en, man also needs the requisite tools to handle those fleshy wares in t heir horny fram es. Then, won’t it be a case of quick fixing them in wanton liaisons?’ ‘But access makes all t he difference betw een the conquest and failure, isn’t it?’ he felt as he thought about his insatiate passions. ‘If not for the lack of it, w ouldn’t I’ve laid every woman I’d ever fancied? Given half a chance, won’t wom en want t o explore t heir passions in their paramours’ private part s, but it ’s their m en, who invariably turn out to be the spoilers by throwing a spanner in the cupid’s w orks-in-progress. Why, one needs only to show a passing int erest in t he wife, and the husband can be expected t o do the rest t o put paid to it; not content with shrouding his w ife, he cold-shoulders the t respasser as if to nip his passion in the bud. It ’s as though m en are prone to policing t heir wives than husbanding them ; so, as though t o celebrat e the poet ic just ice to their predicam ent , won’t wom en turn gleeful whenever t hey cuckold their caretakers?’ ‘But working wom en com e on a different plat t er alt ogether, don’t they?’ he seem ed t o sum up the essence of philandering. ‘Court ed by the flirt ing colleagues, aren’t they clearly cut out for liaisons what with t he alibis their workplaces provide them t o cover up t heir flings? And luckily for the resourceful, it ’s t heir fancy t o dress w ell that makes t he vain among them to seek paramours t o fill their bare wardrobes. How many of t hem undress in the adulterous arena t o cut a figure for them selves in the public view; haven’t I com e across m any such. It ’s their short -t erm needs t hat m ake t hose jaunt s so lively with them , and the welcome thing about them is that, when t he tim e com es to hang up the boot s, there won’ t be any hangovers. Oh, it’s as if all the pleasures of life are packed in the fem ale frames for t he favored to savour them !’ Seeing a shapely w om an get int o his pavilion, he follow ed her inst inct ively and approached her readily. “ Have you t ried our kit chen it em s, designed for wom en like you,” he said ent icingly. “ I find your m ixer-grinder quit e handy,” she said, looking flat t ered. “ Part of the credit goes to you for it s int elligent use,” he said looking into her eyes. “ Thank you,” she said, and t ickled by her vanity, she blushed t o the root s. “ Why not t ry our air-condit ioner, I m ean in t he guest room,” he said ent icingly. “ We don’t need one, at least , for now,” she said in em barrassm ent . “ If you please, I’ll get one installed free of charge,” he said tantalizingly. “ But why?” she said, looking puzzled. “ I’m looking for a t est imonial from a prett y woman like you,” he said suggest ively. “ Let m e think it over,” she said, as she couldn’ t refuse being unequal to his flat tery. “ Your address for m y rem inders,” he pushed a pad and a pen into her hand “ I appreciat e your cust om er care,” she said as she scribbled. “ What are your convenient t imings t o receive,” he said. “ I’m a housew ife,” she said overw helm ed by his advances. “ It ’s a pleasure m eet ing you M rs. Vanaja,” he said ext ending his hand. “ Good night , M r...’ Having t entatively withdrawn her hand from his, and am usedly confused, she left him t o his thought s. ‘Isn’t she a prett y prospect, won’t som e follow-up help? Let her in the meant im e ponder over t he tempt ing proposal besides playing a guessing gam e with m y nam e. Having been sourced in her anat omy it self isn’t myst ery the key to open wom an’s heart t o m an’s thought?’ he surmised, pleased with himself. As he cam e out to wat ch her figure from behind, lighting his cigaret t e, he felt , ‘Why not I go to The Nizam Club for a change? Who know s, I may com e across a new prospect t here.’ ---When the playboy executive was about t o move out of the ground, seeing a woman of about twent y com e nearby, he st opped in his t racks. ‘Oh God, a real stunner here!’ he ogled at her greedily. ‘What a flow ing figure! Had m y roving eye ever caught hold of a more desirable dam e t han this? Dream st uff she is, dreamier than any in m y wildest of dream s! It’ s as if she’s shaped for sex, isn’ t she? She’s t he dam e t o be laid, and there’s no mist aking it. How surprising that she carries a divine visage and a volupt uous form on the sam e fram e? Won’t that m ake her the Goddess of Sex in the pant heon, if t here’s one? But is she a resident or here on an out ing? Whatever, she is too good to be lost . If only she goes into our pavilion, and even otherwise, I shall follow her to her doorst ep, be it at t he other end of the w orld. I m ust ensure that I do not lose sight of her in this god-dam n rush, and when I get her that w ould be the jackpot of m y life. And I shall get her, what ever it m ight take.’ While he w ent towards her, as if in a t rance, what with the fag burning his fingers, he cam e to his senses and saw a man joining her with t wo cones of popcorn. As the incom er bore a familiar look - won’ t his nose give him away in a m illion - he readily realized that it was Sathyam, his long lost friend, and rushed to him excit edly. “ Hi buddy, do you get m e?” he asked Sathyam tent at ively. “ Oh, Prasad!” said Sathyam . “ Glad we’ve m et at last,” said Prasad ext ending his hand to him . “ Heard you’ re a bigwig now,” said Sathyam taking t he hand aft er handing one cone t o Roopa. “ Don’t go by hearsays but t ell m e about you,” said Prasad. “ She’s m y bett er half,” said Sathyam and ext ended the other cone t owards Prasad. “ This is our half.” “ You’ve becom e wit ty but lost your w it s,” said Prasad picking up som e popcorn. “ What do you m ean by t hat?” protest ed Sathyam in jest . “ You haven’t int roduced the new comer to t he old-t im er,” said Prasad smilingly. “ Oh, sorry, she’s m y Roopa,” said Sathyam. “ How do you do m a’am ,” Prasad greeted Roopa. “ Fine sir, thank you,” said Roopa. “ Now, t ell m e all about you,” said Sat hyam to Prasad. ‘I’ve to play m y cards carefully,’ thought Prasad, affecting hiccups. ‘It’s all so sudden, isn’t it? It pays to play down m y success before I get into the winning position, and till t hen I should m ildly im press Roopa without unduly alarm ing Sathyam . Unless he sees t he present t o be an ext ension of our m odest past , he may not be too keen to renew our old friendship, and that w ould be that .’ “ Do you want t o call it quit s here it self? I thought w e’ve met not t o part again,” said Prasad at length. “ Won’t I drag you all t he way t o m y place,” said Sat hyam taking Prasad’s hand. “ Then, allow m e t o wind up,” Prasad pulled Sat hyam into the pavilion as Roopa followed them . “ You don’t know how I used to wish that w e m et ,” said Sathyam in cont inuation. “ Sam e is the case with m e, and thank Roopa Devi for our reunion,” said Prasad. “ Roopa w ould do sir; but how am I responsible for your chance m eeting?” she said em barrassedly. “ But for wom en, would m en ever venture out on their ow n?” said Prasad half in jest . “ I agree, we ow e all this to her,” said Sathyam . “ Just give m e a few minut es as our m anager takes you around,” said Prasad. ‘Good t hat she turned out t o be Sathyam ’s wife!’ t hought Prasad in excitem ent as he w ent into his makeshift cabin. ‘What a w elcom e developm ent it is! But how on earth did he land up with such a lass; maybe, ow ing t o m y dest iny t o have her, who know s? What ever, won’t his friendship prove t o be a thoroughfare for her favours? Yet , won’t she need som e w ooing as w ell? I might as w ell dazzle her by flaunt ing m y credent ials, but that would only push Sathyam int o a shell st raight away. Won’t that hinder my endeavour, and what ’s w orse, sensing t rouble, he might erect checkpost s all the way t o her bedcham ber. Even if I w ere t o must er Senna’s skills and Sorkar’s st ealth, looks like t he Form ula One won’t do for her final favour as Sathyam would ensure that I end up in t he pit on m y way to the put t, why won’t he? Given t hat an overt court ing would be unyielding, I bet t er sneak into her bed under the cover of his camaraderie. Going by his confidence quot ient , he shouldn’ t have made m uch in his career; so, t he winning formula is t o downplay my success to develop a sust ainable equat ion with him . Then, w on’t his goodwill issue m e the visa to land in his wife’s lap, and that should be fine w ith m e.’ ‘But what about Roopa?’ he t ried t o analyze her proclivities. ‘ Doesn’t she w ear that disinterest ed look I’m so fam iliar wit h in wom en; m aidens em brace it w hen they are lovesick, and in t he married, it ’s proof enough that t heir pudding has turned stale. Isn’t it clear t hat she’s unexcit ed about her marital st at e? Won’t t hat make her a candidat e for conquest ? But yet t hat subtle awkwardness discernible in wom en, when att ract ed to m en, is missing in her, isn’ t it? M aking it worse, she doesn’t seem to be vainglorious to flatt er m y way to her favours. Won’t t hat call for a change of tact ics? As it appears, it needs som e sustained effort , and a lot m any seduct ive tactics to t rick her into an affair. But for all that, it appears to be a condit ional access, aft er all. Thou art so near and yet so far, oh, Roopa dear!’ ‘But, how to go about it?’ he t ried to analyze his m oves to checkmate Roopa in her own den. ‘What could be t he path of least resist ance to possess her volupt uous fram e? Won’t the first few st eps decide the out com e of this ticklish tangle? While cult ivating her man’ s confidence, I must undermine her own defenses as well. But with a st unning w ife like that, any man w ould be on guard to see through t he motives of all com ers. Why not I vouch a sist erly feeling for her to keep him off guard? Won’t t hat cut both w ays in our t riangle for I can get closer to her as brot her and then worm m y way int o her bed as param our. What a great idea t o get closer t o a wom an w it hout alert ing her man, indeed it is.’ Carried by his brainwave, a heart y Prasad reached the Sathyam s w ith great expectat ions. “ I’m at your service now,” said Prasad. “ Let’ s go to our place,” said Sat hyam . “ If you haven’t brought your car, I’ll hire an auto,” said Prasad “ Good t hat I’ve left my Lam bretta at hom e but I thought you must be moving around in lim ousines,” said Sathyam unable to hide his surprise. “ I use t he office Ambassador that’ s in the garage now ,” said Prasad, who by then had inst ructed his chauffeur t o report for dut y the next day. “ You haven’t changed a wee bit Prasad; Roopa, he’s always been an adjust ing t ype,” said Sathyam in apparent admirat ion for his friend. “ Now tell m e,” said Sathyam as they walked towards an exit gat e. “ Since I’ve spott ed you, I’ll have t he first ear too,” said Prasad in jest . “ Aft er graduat ion, I joined the Stat e Government, and have been working ever since at the Secretariat. Now I’m a Senior Assist ant , wait ing to become a Section Officer. In a nut shell, that ’s all there is t o m y life,” said Sathyam . “ But you’ve m issed the essence of it all; w hen did you get m arried?” said Prasad. “ We’re two years old,” said Sathyam sm ilingly. “ So, your wit is unceasing, love m arriage, I suppose,” said Prasad. “ It ’s love at first sight, but in pellichupulu but I’ve heard yours is a love m at ch,” said Sathyam. “ Yes and no,” said Prasad as t hey got into an auto. Soon reaching Dom alaguda, they got int o the Sathyam s’ pent house. “ If I won’t inconvenience m y sist er, I would like t o have m y dinner here; ever since Rani has been to Delhi, I’ve been eat ing junk, and it’ s been a week now,” said Prasad as t hey set tled. “ You’re w elcome sir,” Roopa smiled her invitat ion. “ It ’s sist erly,” said Prasad heart ily. “ Now tell m e all,” said Sat hyam . “ Let my sist er serve som e water first to quench m y thirst ,” said Prasad. “ Won’t you like to hear his story?” said Sathyam , as Roopa turned back aft er giving t hem som e water. “ Buddy, I’m afraid you’re giving an impression to m y sist er that there is a great deal of int erest attached to m y life,” said Prasad, “ but for m at rimony, m y life is as ordinary as any. Rani was my classm at e in Delhi and w e happened t o like each other though I didn’t dare daydream our m arriage for her dad is quit e a big shot there. But w it hout m y know ledge, as she pressured him for my hand, his fondness for her and m y eligibility, otherwise, made us man and wife in the end. Now I’m here t ending a sick unit that he t ook over only last year, and at hom e, w e’ ve Gaurav and Om athi t o engage my fam ily t im e. That ’s about it all.” “ Surely your wife is a remarkable person,” said Sat hyam. “ No denying that but you’re bett er off for m y sist er,” said Prasad, pat t ing Sathyam w hile looking at Roopa. “ I’ve t o see Rani to concur with you,” said Sathyam . “ Rani is dear to m e as w ife and Roopa endears m e as sist er, so you can rely upon m y judgm ent, can’t you?” said Prasad. “ I’m lucky that way,” said Sathyam looking at Roopa in adm irat ion. While the friends continued to reminisce about their childhood days, Roopa was engaged in preparing the dinner. ‘How lucky is Rani t o have married a handsom e man like him whom she loves as w ell,’ Roopa cont em plated. ‘But why does he refer t o m e as sist er at every turn? How odd that a handsom e young man should keep calling m e sist er. Why, even Ramu, being so close, doesn’t address m e that way. It ’s as if the sist erly reference takes som et hing away from my persona, or to be honest , it hurt s m y vanity. To t ell the t rut h, m aybe it’ s a bit of both; w hat if I too start addressing him as brother to make him feel sissy? It ’s no more t han a m ere form and any way; t his guy is m y husband’s friend and just another int eresting charact er, no more and no less. That ’s all there’s t o it , isn’t it?’ How ever, at t he dining table, Prasad was even more effusive in his praises, and as if icing his seductive cake, he said in the end, ‘it ’s like an annaprasana for m e, tast ing food for the first t ime in my life.’ “ You exaggerat e a great deal sir,” said a visibly embarrassed Roopa. “ You’ll know how I feel if only you could tast e your preparations w it h m y palat e. How I w ish Sathyam will invent an em pirical form ula of relat ivity of palat es to prove m e right. Don’ t you know how good he is at maths?” said Prasad in pursuit of his gam e-plan. “ Why don’ t you stay back tonight,” suggest ed an apparently flatt ered Sathyam . “ I would have loved to, but I’ve got t o go now ,” said Prasad, wanting to creat e the im pression that he was not the one to take undue advantage of his friend’s generosit y. “ Till Rani’s return, do join us at our dining table,” said Sathyam. “ It ’s worth going m iles t o savour her preparat ions and enjoy your com pany; but why t rouble m y sist er,” said Prasad. “ You’re always w elcom e,” said Roopa in spit e of herself. “ I’m no fool to miss out on the fare; t hank you and good night t o bot h of you,” said Prasad heart ily. Though Prasad said t hat he w ould go on his own, Sathyam insist ed on seeing him off at the st reet corner; and returning hom e, he said to Roopa, “ Thanks to t he small world, w e’ve m et again. I hope you liked your new brother.” “ Looks like he’s an interest ing fellow,” said Roopa. “ It goes to his credit that there’s no change in his att itude, in spit e of his elevation. Don’ t we see people put ting on airs though t hey w ouldn’t get to spell t he ‘S’ of success? But how it ’s rumoured that a businessm an roped him in for his plain daught er! What a pit y their love mat ch is dubbed as a m ercenary marriage; well if seen with jealous eyes, all that is seen is green, isn’t it? I’m sure we’ll pick up t he t hreads from where w e had left them,” said Sathyam in an apparent satisfact ion t hat only childhood friends could afford one. How ever, Roopa, struggling t o cat ch up with the elusive sleep that night , t ook to contem plation, ‘If only Raja were to be in this man’s place, what a different t im e it w ould have been! What would be he doing now? Does he recall m e at all, leave alone craving for me. But w hat separates t hese t wo remarkably handsome m en? Whereas Prasad’s dem eanor is dem anding, Raja’ s persona is com pelling, isn’t it? True, Prasad exudes self-confidence but Raja personifies self-w ort h it self. No denying t hat Prasad is handsome, but oh, Raja has t hat exquisit e sex appeal, rare in m en. No doubt , Prasad is an int erest ing person, but is not Raja a lovable persona. Prasad could be a ladies’ man but Raja is a rom antic hero, a rare breed at t hat . And above all, Raja is t he he-man, and more so m y dream man, t here’s no m istaking that.’ It ’s as though it is in the nature of woman to value herself by t he wort h of her man more than her ow n self-w orth. Chapter 24 Scheming the Them e ‘Sat isfact ory, isn’t it?’ t hought Prasad on his way back to his hom e. ‘Haven’t I played m y cards with finesse? Surely, Sathyam’s dinner gesture could be a point er t o what might port end. Yet t he proof of t he pudding is only in the eat ing, isn’t it? Anyway, it ’s st ill a long way to get there. But then, t he goddess w illing, won’t I have it som eday? Well, a good start could ensure the lead all the way.’ ‘Sathyam is a sim pleton as ever,’ he thought , t rying t o analyze his friend and his wife. ‘If a m an of thirty were to remain that way, he m ust either be kind-hearted or dungheaded and / or both. It looks like Sat hyam is a bit of both. However, Roopa - what an appropriat e nam e she has - rem ains a puzzle, and I m ust ensure t hat she’s dazzled enough not to begin quizzing m e. What ’s it that makes this fabulous w oman so irresist ible? Surely, there’s much more t o her persona than her oozing sex appeal. Well, t he m ore one espies her; all the m ore he get s obsessed with her. It’ s as if her w hole body is endued w ith a magnetic layer to keep t he male gaze glued t o her, isn’t it? If not, how can one explain her dusky com plexion? Oh, som e god could have turned horny w hile making her! Why else is she t he femm e fatale of t he first order?’ So it occurred t o him , ‘Unless I’m on guard, I m ight as well trip on the path of att raction and even fall in love wit h her t o m y hurt . Surely that would be an unw elcom e developm ent, wouldn’t it be? By t he way, would sex becom e any m ore pleasurable if penet rat ed with love? Why at all t his doubt , as if love would take t hat any deeper into her. Hah, hah! But, it’ s t he lust t hat vest s t he thrust s w it h power and any wom an w ould know that for sure. What ever, Roopa should be had before I develop any em otional hiccups for her. Only by taking her to bed early could I feel at ease, and remain safe in her enchanting company for which I must patient ly hast en her into my grip. It doesn’t seem easy t hough, and I should be prepared even for a long haul, but once in bed, she w ould be worth her w eight in gold, nay platinum, t o be precise.’ Follow ing his tim e-t ested tactic of m aking w om en ponder a lit tle over his absence, w ith Roopa in mind, he made it lat e to Sat hyam ’ s place. “ What happened, w e’ve been waiting so long for you,” greet ed Sathyam . “ Wait, I’ll explain; first let m e apologize to m y sister,” said Prasad dramat ically. “ Oh, it ’s all right ,” said Roopa visibly em barrassed. “ I won’t take anything less than your forgiveness,” said Prasad looking into her eyes. “ What ’s w rong w it h you?” said Roopa all perplexed as Sathyam looked on am used. “ I know how vexatious it is t o wait,” said Prasad to her. “ Okay my friend, you’re forgiven,” said Sathyam smilingly. “ You should know that I’ve skipped lunch t o savor m y sist er’s preparations,” said Prasad, soaping his hands at t he wash basin. “ I too have a raakh i sist er in her friend Sandhya. What a sweet soul she is,” said Sathyam reminiscently. “ Who can bet t er m y sist er in any way?” said Prasad looking int o Roopa’s eyes, and t urning to Sathyam , he added, “ When is the next rakshaabandhan com ing up?” “ That I’ll let you know ,” said Sathyam . “ Though I regard Roopa no less, know that Sandhya is all too different .” “ M aybe, but Roopa is Roopa,” said Prasad with apparent conviction. St ruck by his direct m anner, Roopa looked at him in awe, and thought in puzzlement , ‘Isn’t he showing an uncom m on int erest in m e. What is he up t o? Though he calls m e ‘sist er’, his manner doesn’ t bear any brotherly mien, does it really? Why, won’t his dem eanour bet ray lust? Oh, what a hypocrit e he is to get int o this sist erly m ess. Isn’t it proving to be aw kward for him and embarrassing for m e as w ell? Anyway, for m e, he’s just a handsome man and an int erest ing com pany. All the same, he’ s like any other man in m y life that’s all, is he not?’ Aft er a couple of visit s, Prasad failed t o turn up for a w eek, leaving Sathyam in jitt ers, even as Roopa felt t hat she was m issing him as w ell. ‘Haven’t I got used to his company,’ she thought many a tim e, during t hat tim e. ‘Or am I craving for his flatt ery? Hasn’t he developed the knack of praising m e without alarming Sathyam? And, it’s not at all brot herly really for when Sat hyam is not around, how he intonat es m y nam e in passionate tunes! How longingly he espies m e, all the w hile holding his gaze at m y bosom. Isn’t his carnal bother t roubling his alleged brotherly candour? What hypocrisy, w orse st ill, is it his st rat egy to hide his designs on m e from Sathyaam? Is it t hat I’m indulging in his charact er assassinat ion by m erely surm ising? But then, isn’t his want for m e cryst al clear t o m e. Whatever it is, it ’s his problem, and I’ve not hing to do w it h him that way anyway.’ ‘But is it as simple as that ?’ she felt as she developed second t hought s. ‘Am I not missing him , and willy-nilly, get ting at tract ed t o him ? But, how’s that possible when I’m head and heels in love with my Raja darling. Then, am I flirting wit h him? Oh, no, I just happen to enjoy his com pany, bored that I am . That’s all there is to it.’ When Prasad finally arrived, Roopa was all alone in her hom e. “ What ’s t his vanishing act, m ister?” Roopa found herself asking him. “ You know I had no way to t ell you,” he said staring int o her eyes. “ Sathyam becam e a fish out of wat er all the while,” she said avoiding his gaze. “ I felt m iserable throughout, need I tell you why?” he said, unm asking his desire for her. ‘So, he want s m e. Does he not look lust ful to the bones? But then, how Raja’s romantic eyes caress m y fram e conveying his craving for m y soul. Won’ t their eyes port ray the cont rast betw een lust and love? Surely t hey do. But am I not im agining t hings, st rung by m y craving for Raja? How does it m at t er anyway, when I’m clear whom I want to have? To be clear is to be real, isn’t it ? Well, how could one grasp the realit y of life w it hout clarit y of thought?’ she thought looking away from him. “ Where are your thought s taking you to?” he said sm ilingly. “ Oh nothing of t hat sort,” she said em barrassedly. “ Haven’t you heard it said that the at t ribut es of w oman’s utt erances have reverse inferences?” he said m ischievously, and dwelled upon the proverb t o probe the proclivities of the fair sex. The male percept ion t hat women are ambiguous by nature is not unfounded for they t end to dissem ble. But then, why shouldn’t they, anyway? Won’t m en role m odel w om en to self-serve their vest ed int erest s, and judge t hem on t he scale of conform it y? Since the male t enet s are at variance with the feminine inst inct s, won’t wom en com e to pret end? So, unable t o comprehend w om en, w on’ t the confounded m en end up according the benefit of doubt to them, at every turn that is. It ’s thus, m en com e to hoist them selves on t heir own petard, and deservedly at t hat , so it seem s. However, before Prasad could get Roopa’s reply, he felt Sathyam’s sm ack on his back. “ You know, a businessman’s t im e is not his t im e,” said Prasad. “ Had you sounded us, we would’ ve given you Sandhya’s address,” said Sathyam . “ That ’s next t ime but right now it’s to m y place,” said Prasad. “ What ’s t he hurry, can’ t we make it leisurely?” said Sathyam . “ Rani won’t let m e be in unless you both com e along with m e,” said Prasad sm ilingly. “ You know how I value wom en’s sentim ent s,” said Sathyam goading Roopa to get ready. “ I say sentim ent is the embodim ent of love, what do you say sist er?” said Prasad affect ing a sneeze As Roopa gave him a searching look, Prasad smiled in all conceit. Though they readily headed towards Prasad’s bungalow in the Banjara Hills, how ever, it was well past eleven when the host dropped his guest s back at their hom e. “ What a tim e it was!” said Sathyam in ecstasy as Prasad left. “ It ’s plain boring, t o say the least,” said Roopa unlocking the door. “ Rani is so court eous and the kids too court ed us, what else. You’re im possible at t im es,” he protested. “ She just condescended t o descend t o us, no m ore about it ,” said Roopa. “ I think its other way round, I felt that she’s so affect ionate,” said Sat hyam . “ I bet, st op court ing her and you count for nothing to her,” she said indignant ly. “ At least concede t hat she’ s a fine conversat ionalist,” said Sathyam in all eagerness, as if to m ake Roopa see som e m erit in Rani. “ If enlight ening ot hers about her dad’s great ness, her man’s smart ness, and her kids’ brightness, surely she’s a great conversat ionalist. And the advantage of her com pany is t hat you m ight rest your vocal cords while she goes on w ith her monologues,” said Roopa, and added, “ but on the flip side, your t ired ears lead to a headache.” “ That’ s wom en’s nat ural t rait but you hardly have a good word for m e,” he said half in jest . “ It ’s as if you let go an opportunity to have a dig at m y people,” said Roopa show ing Sathyam his place. “ Neit her would you m iss a chance at nitpicking,” he said in disappointm ent . Bot hered by her bickering, Sathyam couldn’t sleep for a while, and dist urbed by Prasad’s forthrightness, Roopa stayed awake for long. ---‘Isn’t it a fortnight since I laid the t rap for Roopa?’ Prasad t ried to envisage his stat ion in his adopt ed rout e of seduct ion. ‘Though the prey is nowhere in the com ing, yet m y ardour is despairing for her possession, isn’t it? What progress is that anyway? While jolly w ell enjoying m y att ent ions, she show s no part icular int erest in m e. But then, hasn’t she com e to love my company? M aybe, that’s the only thing to w rit e hom e about. Could that be a cause for hope by the way? Though found want ing it’s as if she doesn’t abhor her married life altogether and that makes her a bed-hedger in the arena of adultery. Court esy the darling, haven’t I coined a new phrase for her flirting ilk. Well, even as a few of t hem are beddable; all m arried wom en are bed-hedgers anyway, are t hey not?’ ‘Never mind his dull dem eanor, Sathyam must be good in bed,’ he contemplat ed in w onderm ent. ‘Com e t o t hink of it, given a good t im e in bed, wom en t urn blind to the fault s of their m en, how st range! But t hen, it’s all so different with Rani. Though she loves m e, doesn’t she think it ’s her good turn in bed for m e? Why, she couldn’t get rid of her Elect ra com plex even after six years of sex life with m e t hat m ade her m other t wice over! Before her giant of a fat her, isn’t every man a contempt ible m idget for her? Short of being explicit , doesn’ t she t end to imply that I ow e m y status and all that goes with it t o her redoubtable fat her?’ ‘No denying it, though,’ he went about drawing up the balance sheet of his marital life. ‘Of course, it’s our m arriage that shift ed my gear to the fast t rack of life from the middle-class morass that it was in. If not, I wouldn’t have been bet t er placed than Sathyam; maybe, I would’ve been worse off for all I know. How would’ve I got a w ife like his! Inst ead of eyeing Roopa, I would have been envying Sathyam now. Supposing I got a w inner for a wife, won’t it have been a t ough ask to keep her wooers at bay, that too w ith lim ited resources?’ Then he recalled an incident that his w ife had made him privy to. When som eone made a pass at her, she t old t he bewildered dasher t hat he might hope for her affection aft er acquiring her fat her’s stat ure and her husband’s looks! ‘Looks like man’s st atus provides his wom an the fidelity amour against her possible seduction,’ he began t o think. ‘Isn’t it bet ter than the chast it y belt s of yore that w ould have st ill left room enough for t he deviancies of the ent erprising dam es? Fidelity apart, w on’t wom en of m eans, being sure about them selves, lose their innate womanliness? Isn’t it sad for the fair sex as such, but none seem to care, even m en at that ! Is it not t heir vulnerability that makes wom en charming to m en and sans a semblance of t im idit y, won’t fem ininit y suffer? But for all her perfect features, doesn’t Rani lack that fem inine grace which abounds in Roopa.’ ‘Am I in love with Roopa then?’ he w ondered. ‘What nonsense, leave alone the patience, do I have the inclination t o love? I’m just im patient to take her to bed, at the earliest t hat is. No more and no less that is.’ He t ried t o believe t hat he has assum ed. Shortly t hereaft er, in the wake of the Prasads’ return visit , Sathyam was disappointed. “ How I w ish they st ayed back for dinner, but t hen, she has a prior comm itm ent,” said Sathyam t o Roopa. “ By now you should’ve know n that it’s just an excuse. But I won’t blam e her for she got used t o the posh living, it’s not fair to expect her to feel at home in our middle-class m ess. And to make m at t ers w orse for the visitors, you harp on your childhood as if you’ve stopped living thereaft er. I feel these days even Prasad is gett ing t ired of your flogging t he dead horse of your childhood,” said Roopa indignant ly. “ M aybe you’ve read her right, but I’m sure you’re off the mark with him . For that matter, you and Sandhya are no different ,” he said t urning defensive. “ By now you should’ve known t hat w e don’t harp on our past , m emorable though it w as. Well, w e feel the present and dream about our fut ure,” she said turning nostalgic. “ How I wish Sandhya visit s us on her way t o Kakinada. It ’s a sham e that w e couldn’t make it to Delhi in all these days,” he said, sounding apologetic. Recalling how their plans to go t o Delhi went aw ry at every turn, Roopa thought deject edly, ‘Leave alone let ting me gat ecrash into Raja’ s life, fat e even keeps m e out of Sandhya’ s em brace.’ As if to place Rani’ s unease in their place in it s contrast , that Sunday aft ernoon, Tara visited the Sathyam s as they were having their t ea aft er siesta. M eanwhile, Sathyam had developed a tast e for t ea, fed up with giving an explanat ion to all and sundry about his abst inence. St range, indeed, is the way one t ends to react to t he differing peculiarities in ot hers. None reminds the rotund about the obesity, for the fear of offending them, but when it com es to t he lean, unmindful of em barrassing t hem, all tend to voice t heir anxiety about his health. “ Got scarce these days, why so?” Roopa w elcom ed Tara. “ It ’s all about kids’ studies as their exam t im e is a t esting t ime for the parent s. But w hat’s happening t o you?” said Tara as Roopa led her int o the bedroom . “ If it’s t yping and shorthand in the m ornings, then, it’ s the course material in the aft ernoons. The days are passing by,” said Roopa “ What about t he nights?” said Tara tentatively. “ Night s follow days, don’t t hey?” said Roopa dryly. “ Why not let days lead into nights,” said Tara holding Roopa’s hand. “ That way, my dream s roll my days and night s all into one,” said Roopa dream ily. “ Roopa, som e tea for Prasad please,” said Sathyam in high pit ch. “ Prasad is his childhood friend, see if he int erest s you,” said Roopa to Tara. “ Do you think he’s a prospect then?” whispered Tara. “ Why don’ t you find it out?” said Roopa. “ But you spoil m y chances with the prized one,” crooned Tara. “ I don’t get you,” said Roopa a lit t le puzzled. “ Am I not const rained to hook up your fancied m an?” said Tara winking at Roopa. “ Stay off from him or else,” Roopa said m ockingly t hreat ening Tara. “ All right, t ill you get him,” said Tara sm ilingly. “ Still it ’s a t hreat as your t imepiece could be turning ant iclockw ise to m ake you ever younger,” said Roopa, in all admirat ion for Tara’s charm s. “ Aft er I’m done with it, I would present that to you,” said Tara w inking at Roopa, “ But for now , what if he...” winked Roopa back at Tara. “ I’ll see,” said Tara. “ Good luck,” said Roopa and led Tara into the hall w ith t ea for all. “ She’s Tara, m y friend,” said Roopa to Prasad serving him som e st eaming t ea. “ He is m y bosom pal and a leading indust rialist ,” said Sathyam t o Tara w ith a sense of pride attached to that . It is a peculiar charact eristic of people that for som e inexplicable reason they feel nice about them selves when they cite their acquaintance wit h the successful. “ How do you do,” said Prasad. “ Fine, thank you,” said Tara. “ I’ve just dropped in on my way to at tend som e business, I’ll be back soon,” said Prasad as he got up to leave. “ We’ll wait for you,” said Sathyam a lit tle puzzled, and thought aloud aft er Prasad had left , “ doesn’t he look a lit tle confused?” Aft er a short while thereaft er, Tara too left, leaving Sat hyam pondering over Prasad’s predicam ent . But , Roopa felt t hat Prasad had left fearing Tara might sm ell t he rat from his m anner, and resort to innuendoes that could alert Sathyam over tim e. And she knew he would com e again to follow his seductive course. The longing she felt for her lover and the resistance she had to offer t o her seducer seem ed to push Roopa to the brink of her chast ity. Chapter 25 Device of Deceit Get ting into his Chevrolet, Prasad drove st raight t o the 7t h Street in Dom alaguda. Having parked his car near a pan shop, he began chain smoking India Kings in all excit em ent. Soon, as Tara ent ered the lane, he wait ed im patiently for her to reach her house, and as she t ook note of him , once in, she left the door ajar, in all expectation. “ Who’s that?” she said nevertheless at t he sound of the door buzzer. “ Your prodigal soul,” said Prasad pushing open the door. “ M y body w elcom e,” said Tara baring her blouse. “ I’m glad t hat I’ve found you at last ,” said Prasad taking her at her waist . “ Why not say, by default ,” she said rem oving his hand. “ M aybe, but st ill I’m glad,” he said, pinching her bot tom . “ Are you sure?” she said winking at him. “ Do you need any proof?” he said taking her int o his arm s. “ Get ting scarce is proof enough,” she said sarcast ically. “ I was busy in the beginning and lost t rack in t he end,” he said rest ing his head on her breast s “ What are you up t o now ?” she said pressing his head onto her bosom . “ Thanks for not embarrassing m e there,” he said, said kissing her hand. “ You know I don’t com prom ise m y client s?” she said. “ It adds to your value, won’ t it?” he said. “ Say, you want to com e onto m y t racks or w ish to put m e off yours?’ she said sm ilingly. “ Oh you’re im possible darling,’ he said affect ing exasperat ion. “ Tell m e, what’s cooking up over t here?” she said looking into his eyes. “ Not hing of that sort but what about your concern for Roopa?” he said. “ Love thy neighbor, say the script ures, won’ t they?” she said sm ilingly. “ Is it as sim ple as that?” he said. “ Isn’t she too sexy for your com fort?” she retort ed. “ To be honest , I’ve no such ideas unless you want t o put som e into m y head,” he said, assum ing a grave t one. “ Hard to believe you but you stand no chance anyw ay,” she said. “ Leave her aside, how are things w ith you?” he said reaching for her lips. “ You’ re the bet t er judge,” she said unveiling her valley. “ It ’s juicier t han ever,” he said digging int o her bra. “ I t rust you’re no less spicy now,” she felt him where it m att ered to her. “ You’ re w elcome t o confirm,” he said pushing her int o her bedroom. “ You’re more amorous than ever,” he complim ented her aggressiveness. “ Competition has becom e the bott om line in every calling now, isn’t it?” she said jokingly. “ So it port ends a frenzied tim e,” he said m outhing her asset s. “ Can I hope to see you m ore oft en now?” she said as he repaired to leave aft er a w hile. “ Am I a m oron to m iss these golden apples,” he said, fondling her breast s “ With t he pat hway t o your passion so nearby, m aybe you need a passage for your relief close by,” she said squeezing him m eaningfully. “ Oh, Tara, you could even corrupt t he saints!” he said in all adm iration. “ Is it so? But let m e see if you could seduce her. M eanwhile, you could count on my services,” she said nearly em pt ying his purse. ‘How on eart h have t hese t wo got acquaint ed?’ t hought Prasad on his way back to Sathyam’s house. ‘Is it possible that Roopa doesn’t know about Tara’s double life? How it could be, given that Roopa is no fool. Hasn’t Tara implied that Roopa is a tough nut t o crack? Wouldn’t she have unsuccessfully t ried to rope in Roopa into her fold? It could as w ell be. But the real t hrill of coit ion lies in seduct ion, though paying for sex could be paying w hen the wares are Tara brand. Isn’ t she as good as ever? She hasn’t lost a wee bit , has she? But m y appet it e for w om en w ould have a t rue satiation only in Roopa’s em brace, and that ’s it. What about seeking Tara’s help to ent rap Roopa? Surely, she could cooperat e, but that might as w ell backfire. Oh, no, when it comes t o seducing w om en, it ’s bet t er t o keep one’s own counsel.’ When he reached Roopa’s place eagerly, he found it filled with Sathyam’s colleagues, w ho cam e to canvass for t heir candidat e for t he president ship of their association. So, w hen Sat hyam suggest ed that Roopa m ight engage Prasad inside, she excused herself on the pret ext of her going to help Lalitha with a new recipe. ‘Oh, this god-damn dam e,’ t hought Prasad as he left in irritat ion at m issing the opport unit y. ‘She won’ t even let m e m ake a pass at her. Looks like she’ s lending m e all her eyes and ears with her heart tucked away in her attic. So, as it’s clear that I can’t seduce her by appealing t o her m ind, I should find a soft spot in her heart t o gat ecrash int o her bed. But how am I to touch her Achilles heel, if t here’s one? She seem s to be good heart ed, so, that could as well be the chink in her chast it y. Why not I invoke her pit y by declaring m y love to her? But what if she cut s m e short and shows t he door? So, w hat about w riting t o her? Why not , as it could be the right move as a love let t er could be t he best bet for a t entative lover. Won’ t t hat afford a lover the required space to modulat e his passion even as it gives enough tim e for his beloved to crystallize her inclinations? But , w hat if she show s it t o Sathyam , won’t that put paid to m y passion. Besides, w on’t that show m e in a poor light t o him?’ ‘Then what about playing patience with her?’ he thought as he began to explore the alternat ives. ‘Where would all t hat lead m e to? Isn’ t she coy to m y advances without herself giving anyt hing away? Oh, how my wooing is warming her like a winter glove in her icy set ting. Won’t she like to have it that way as long as she could? When I can’t seduce her in t he euphoric beginning, how can I win her over lat er, when familiarity w ould have bred cont em pt? So, pat ience cannot be the right tact ic to checkmat e w om en into resigning, so it seem s. Well, t im e is the essence of an affair, to get into, as w ell as t o get out of it, isn’t it?’ ‘So, nothing could be gained by playing the waiting game w it h her,’ he resolved at length. ‘I’ve got to take chances to im prove the odds. Let m e draft a sm art lett er and hand it over t o her. If she complains to Sat hyam , so be it. What more have I got to lose if she is not inclined, aft er all t hat ?’ Aft er penning t he missive that night, he thought about it s delivery mode, ‘If I t ry to give it in her house, she might as w ell refuse to take it. And even if I force it on her, she could t ear it in my face. So, I’ve t o confound her in a way that she w on’t have the wit s to refuse it, and having taken it , she won’t be able t o resist the t em ptat ion of reading it , w ill she? Once she goes through it, she can’t keep m e in the cold for long, can she? So, if only I could thrust m y love let t er into her hand, won’t she w ide open her golden gat e of lust for me? And t hen, t he rest would be our erot ic hist ory.’ Having hit upon t he winning move at lengt h, though he couldn’t sleep for long in anticipation, he woke up early t o take on Roopa as she cam e out of t he Vinayaka Typew riting Inst it ut e, near her place. Accost ing her at a st reet corner, he t ook her hand and thrust his let ter. “ What ’s all this?” she prot ested in confusion. “ I’m dying, save m e with your m edicine,” he said w ith apparent passion. Before she could recover her wit s, he drove away out of her sight. Stunned though at t he developm ent, she looked around inst inctively, and finding none in t he vicinit y, she com posed herself readily. Heaving a sigh of relief then, she paced up to her hom e with her cont emplation for com pany. ‘What else is it, if not his love letter,’ she thought in bewilderm ent. ‘How dare he force the let ter on m e? What m ade him think that he could have his way with m e? Did I give him any cause for hope? But obsessed as I’m with m y Raja, how could I have coalesced with him? It looks like there was a m ix-up bet w een m y love for Raja and liking for him in my int eract ion with him . Still, how could have I expect ed som ething like this from him? Oh, why didn’t I fling the t hing at his face? If only I had done that, w ouldn’t t hat have served him right? But it was not to be. What should I do with it now ?’ ----Reaching hom e, Roopa pondered over Prasad’s missive further, ‘Why not I t ear it and be done wit h it? But then, won’t he assum e t hat I’ve read it. Bett er I return it t o him as is where is. Yes, that w ould give him a clear picture of how m y mind is closed t o him , having been locked by Raja’s t hought s.’ Soon, having decided upon the m ode of it s disposal, she has hidden the let t er behind t he bookshelf, and tried to forget about it . However, as the incident haunt ed her no end, she t ried to divert her mind, and to rid herself of t he embarrassing t respass, she t ook a romant ic ride on t he thoroughfare of her heart . ‘Had it been from my Raja, I might st ill be kissing the cover, unable t o gat her my wit s t o part my quivering lips from it,’ she thought endearingly. ‘While my eyes would have been kept in anxious waiting t o read his outpouring, wouldn’t have my heart missed it s beat in ant icipat ion.’ How ever, as the realit y of it all dawned on her, she thought m elancholically, ‘What a t ragedy t hat the first love let t er I’ve received should’ ve caused fright instead!’ Fed by her anxiet y, she had a m eager meal, and as t hough to push the issue into her subconscious self, she set tled for siesta. But as if to spare her subconscious-self from the dilemm a, her conscious m ind kept sleep at bay by keeping the issue alive in her thought . ‘What made him t hink I would accept it?’ she cont emplat ed in all humiliation. ‘And I did take it , didn’t I? Didn’t I know it was a cat and m ouse betw een us all along; why was I not enjoying it in good m easure? Couldn’t he be expect ed to st rike at som e point , and st rike he did, so w hat ’s surprising about it ? Now that he has thrown down the gauntlet , w on’t I have to ready m yself for the bat tle of wit s?’ ‘If not for anything else,’ she thought at length, ‘I need t o read it t o avert the threat he might be posing t o undo m e, so that I’ ve an idea of his line of attack t o st rategize my defence? So, it m akes sense t o read his m ind through his let t er.’ It ’s thus Roopa ret rieved the lett er from behind the bookshelf and began reading it w ith apprehension. ‘Roopa, m y hope, I’m aware t hat m y move w ould agitat e you. But how am I to port ray the t housand deaths I died wanting to avoid distressing you. All these days, I’ve chosen to suffer silent ly w ithout making you privy t o m y predicam ent . Then, it dawned on m e that I owe it to you t o let you know that a poor soul is bathing in the warm th of love that is inspired by you. That apart , do I have any right t o deny m y love it s legit imate expression no matt er even if it ’s unrequit ed? On t hat fat eful evening, when I’d first seen you, I felt as if the flood of love that spurt ed out of m y heart would drown m e to death. Unable to hold on my own, I vent ured to seek your hand for support. Thus, as I was nearing you, I’d seen som eone com ing t o you with those popcorn cones. Oh, how m y heart froze, fearing t hat you’re married to him . But when I realized that you’re my friend’s wife, I rejoiced at his fort une, and chose to bury m y love for you in the depths of m y heart . Since I am not supposed to love you as wom an and as I couldn’t live without loving you, I forced m yself t o adore you as a sister inst ead. But , it didn’t take m e long t o realize that the brot herly affect ion is too limited t o reflect the m anly love I feel for you. Possessed as I am by carnal passion for you, m y suffocation in the frat ernal garb has been demeaning m y soul ever since. Don’t I know t hat you too haven’t failed t o notice t he pain I experienced in those ungainly brot herly shoes? Now that you’ re privy to my predicam ent , m y only hope is that you w ould be sensit ive t o m y sent im ent. You know that I’m only nursing the love you’ve given birth to in m y hapless heart. Aren’ t you aware that I love you as a w oman and adore you as a person? I believe that m y sense of dignit y demands of me to disclose m y love t o you. What do I seek in ret urn from you for my devotion to your person? I only beg for your indulgence in lett ing me love you till m y last breat h. Since it’s in your knowing now, how I see m y love acquiring a new meaning. If only you let m e love you, I’ll feel rewarded no end for t hat. Were you t o pit y m y w ret ched soul, I would feel vindicat ed as well? Either way, now I am at your m ercy, and I know your nobility wouldn’t belitt le m y love and bet ray m y secret . But w ere you t o give away my sentiment to any to make a mockery of it , m y blood would be on your hands. Why, cursing your insensit ivity, m y rest less soul would suffer et ernally in the heaven living like in the hell. Dying for your understanding, ever yours in devot ion, I remain, Yours aspiringly, Prasad, t he hopeful.’ ‘Haven’t I known that he’s lust ing for m e? Isn’t he t rying to win m y heart now by couching his lust with the sentim ent of love?’ t hought Roopa, as though in hindsight . How ever, on second t hought s, as his passion for her seem ed to reinforce her own draw , she wasn’t displeased wit h his disclosure. Besides, t he feeling of being loved by him seem ed to please her vanity as w ell. ‘Why, won’t it feel nice to be loved, t o be want ed,’ she t hought w it h a feeling of sat isfact ion. ‘In a way, I too like him, don’t I? But it ’s not the way for him t o have his w ay. Don’t I underst and how m iserable it could be for him? Can’t I see his plight in the light of my own pain? Oh, it must be really hard on him, the poor fellow. But how can it be helped?’ ‘But, I can’t be expect ed to soothe every man who craves for my body, could I?’ she analyzed her predicam ent. ‘ M aybe, I should’ve welcom ed him , if only I’m not m yself in love. Seem s misplaced love is wasteful for it serves no purpose, save m assaging the ego of the one who is loved. Perhaps, it ’s anot her dirt y t rick of fate on my life - t o keep the love I need hanging in the fire, and throwing in my lap the passion that doesn’ t help.’ Perceiving herself in the same boat with Prasad, she was overcom e with pity for him. ‘Am I not guilty in abet ting his love w ith m y flirtat ion, maybe unwit tingly?’ she t hought about her own cont ribution to his woes. ‘Could be, but how have I failed to not ice his suffering, when he’s supposed to be in such a turm oil. Is he not play-acting love to worm his way into my heart? Isn’t it st range t hat the em otions of love and the afflict ions of lust are look-alike, bewildering w om en from discerning the lover from a seducer; and unfortunat ely for t hem the language of love and the dialect of lust have a comm on alphabet causing this confusion.’ ‘Why not I t est him t o know his t rue character?’ it occurred to her at length. ‘If he w ere t rying t o pull a fast one on m e, w on’t he get his just desert s t hen? But w hat if he w ere genuinely in love with m e? That would only compound his misery w ithout m e rew arding him in the end. Won’t that m ake it all so unfair for him ? It is as w ell that he unfolds him self by and by. If his feelings are genuine, won’t I serve him the affection of m y love on a platonic plat t er?’ ‘Why all that, why not I nip it in the bud, and be done with him,’ she began to think on second t hought s. ‘Then won’t I need t o take Sat hyam int o confidence for that? Besides em barrassing Prasad, that w ould hurt Sat hyam as w ell. M oreover, w ho know s, bot h of t hem m ay put part of the blam e on m e, and sham e me in the process. It’ s bett er t hat I handle him m yself.’ ‘Given m y own agenda, am I all that innocent?’ it occurred to her in t ime. ‘Am I not scheming to draw Raja int o my life? For all t hat , I could have been flirt ing with Prasad as w ell, by way of a dist raction. What ever, now I’ve to ease out Prasad without alert ing Sathyam. M oreover, I m ust ensure that all this doesn’t scandalize m e w ith Raja. Won’t he shun m e forever should he get t he wrong m essage? Oh, why didn’t it occur to m e all t he while, what a risk I was running w ithout my realizing it ?’ It is one of the ironies of w oman’s life in that she t ends t o tango her reflexes w it h the nuances of male proclivities. It is thus, wom an’ s t rue feelings get camouflaged in her lullabies of com pliance to let her man sink into the slum ber of com placency. ----‘Is Roopa leading m e up the garden pat h w it hout so m uch as let ting m e hold her lit tle finger?’ thought Prasad in bewilderm ent that day. ‘Why, it s t wo months since I w rot e t hat lett er w ith great expectations, didn’t I? M aybe she’s coy, but of what avail is that? Well, she show s a lit tle m ore interest in me than before, but where is the hint of her int ent to grant? Is she a flirt for all that? How am I to know? Oh, wom en’s god-damn coyness m akes it difficult for men to probe their m inds; it could be eit her a shield for t heir m odest y or a shroud of their coquet ry. But t hen, how can any man get t o know w hat it is beforehand? Leaving all t hat aside, I w ould have the last laugh only in her conquest, that is all. Sure, I failed t o seduce an odd dam e on occasion, but didn’t I com e out unscathed for the loss of it. Now, as it looks, it’s all so different with Roopa. In t rying t o seduce her, it’s as if I’m gett ing seduced, isn’t it ? What a role reversal! It looks like t hat I m ight fall in love with her, that is, if I’m not in t he thick of it already. Well, I should have her before she get s used to the status quo, shouldn’t I?’ ‘But w hat m ore could be done t o lure her into bed?’ he thought in exasperation. ‘Why not I make a decisive pass at her, in a passionat e way? But t hat won’t help as she’s bound to give m e the boot. Inst ead, I should cont rive to m ake her vulnerable to m y am orous assault s. But how am I going to bring t hat about?’ So he took st ock of the situation, ‘Roopa has an orderly life with a m ediocre husband in constant company. Isn’t t hat an infallible sit uation for a philanderer t o pull off an am orous coup? I bet t er destabilize her by hitt ing at her st rength. Didn’t the bard aver t hat wom en w ill fall when m en are w eak? Why doubt the master? So, I’ll t ry t o weaken Sathyam to bring about her fall. Won’t that be a new lesson in t he art of seduction? But t hen, who know s, it could as well drag on to boredom . So be it, if that ensures her event ual fall. Well, even if her figure w ere t o be dent ed in tim e, won’t she be w orth possessing even w ell past her prim e. Oh, she could be st ill deadly to have even if she’s left with no more than the rem nant s of her charm s. Why given her sex appeal, won’t she be maddening in bed, at any t im e in her life? The long and short of Roopa is that she’s an excellent short-t erm prospect and an enduring long-term asset , the endearing one, is she not?’ ‘What about Sathyam?’ t hought Prasad, looking for ways to bring about Roopa’s fall? ‘He’ s one of those colourless characters, without a convict ion to nam e, and lo, the societ y labels such as good-natured! While their manner derives it s m eans from the lack of exposure, their signature is not sourced either in a st rong character. But it ’s these t eetotalers that take the cake of goodness in our hypocritical society, don’ t t hey! How st upid is our societ y that it lives in t he shadows of the old values of an ignorant past ! Well, it’s anot her mat t er t hat these nice guys, w hen exposed to the nicet ies of life w ould end up chasing the goodies of the world. If only I could let Sathyam have a feel of t he market place, won’t that m ake him crave for t he good things of life? Then, life w illing, would it take long for him to lose his bearings. If only I could induce him to have a drink or t wo now, won’t Roopa, in t im e, find him sw imm ing in the ponds of liquor. But t o st art with, what w it h his drunken endurance as bonus won’t Roopa the amorous, look t he other way at t he Bacchus? As and when his fondness for the drink increases, won’t his ardency for her be a thing of the past to her pineful self. That’s w hen Sat hyam would be leaving her craving for an ext ram arital fling, wouldn’t he? Won’t that be t he t ime for m e t o get into his shoes to reach her sexless bed? Aft er all, is there any surer way than t hat to lay her?’ ‘It’s st ill bet t er that I have a second st ring to m y seduct ive bow, to be doubly sure,’ he t hought enthusiast ically. ‘Why, can’t I t ry to w ean away Sathyam from Roopa’s charm s w ith whorish support that is? Hadn’t t he sam e mast er given his ruling that beaut y provoket h thieves sooner than gold? Who could seduce Sat hyam bet t er t han the suave call-girls t hat abound t hese days? But Tara, t he ace of t he pack, is not quit e t he t rum p card in this deal. Taken by their seduct ive ways, w on’t Sathyam find Roopa a rout ine fare, and abstain from her altogether in t im e? Won’t that make her think in t erm s of entrusting her fleshy wares t o my am orous care? Does she care t hat ’s an illicit fare?’ ‘But I must ensure that she won’t get wind of my schem ing ways,’ he thought consciously as his excit ement began to gallop, ‘and, were she to spot the foul, she’s bound to blow the whistle. As the idea is to give her m y shoulder for her t o cry over, in no way should she be able t o see m e with soiled hands and all. Don’t I need a helping hand to carry out m y plans? Well, it shouldn’t be difficult, as m oney these days would fet ch hands for any errand. But then, who would foot the bill for all t hat?’ When Prasad had visualized the m agnit ude of the money needed for his grandiose project involving wine and wom en, his spirit was insensibly dampened. ‘Will I be able t o siphon off t hat kind of m oney w it hout Rani knowing it?’ he thought dispirit edly. ‘And even if I could, it might turn out to be w orse, if she get s wind of m y spending spree for she might get it all w rong and curtail my freedom in the bargain. Is m y plan t hen a non-start er, aft er all? Haven’ t I reached t he dead end even before I have begun? Isn’t there a way out?’ At t hat , as Prasad racked his brains for a solution, in tim e, he got a brainwave, as t hough to fashion her future, Roopa’s destiny made a comm on cause with him . ‘Why not enable Sathyam to take care of his needs all by him self?’ he t hought joyously, ‘Why not I use m y contact s to move him into t he cont ract s section on prom ot ion for t he contractors to take care of t he rest of it? At best, Sat hyam may need a litt le bit of prodding from m e and som e pushing from som e cont ract or. Well, that can be taken care of by me, to set the ball rolling. Haven’t I m yself brought many a reluctant folk onto t he convenient track of compromise? And once they get over their inhibitions, t hese scoundrels becom e past -masters at ext ort ion, don’t they? But then, they’re inconveniently called corrupt by the left-out s, sour grapes. How the illicit side of the behavioral pat t ern seem s t o be common for both sexes. Wom en too hesitat e to step out of t he threshold of fidelit y, but once they cross it , t hey hit the fast t rack of debauchery, don’t they?’ ‘Naive that he is, would Sathyam fall prey for all these?’ he thought as he developed second t hought s. ‘But don’t I know that only a handful of men are incorruptible, either by nature or by convict ion. Thus, leaving those oddballs, as with bed-hedgers among w om en, the bulk of them , wat ch which way the w ind blows. When they see their colleagues and neighbours prosper t hrough bribe m onies, their jealousy m akes them anticipat e a tax raid. But when none of that happens, and if they happen t o sit at the right desks in their offices, sooner t han later, they t oo join t he bandwagon. Doesn’t that explain the ever-grow ing corruption in all societ ies? But the vast m ajority, without access t o that ext ra pie, is the m ost vocal against corruption in societ y! Give them half a chance t o line their pocket s, and they’re sure to quiet en dow n like kit t en. Anyway, Sathyam w on’t have to complain anymore on that score.’ ‘But is all this trouble worth taking when I could get half a dozen randies for a song, t hat Vanaja included?’ he was left w ondering. ‘If not for Roopa’s dist raction, was it not possible that I would have been carrying on w ith her by now? How disappoint ed she w ould have been that she was only flat t ered to be deceived. Well, m any a Vanaja like might com e and go but isn’ t it w orth covering t he earth to lay Roopa. If things work out as they should, won’t I have her soon enough?’ ‘But what if Sathyam get s w ind of our affair?’ he t ried to foresee loopholes in his plan. ‘What would he possibly do than becom e accommodat ive? That ’s what all cuckolds do, don’t they? But then, what else can a decent man do when he com es to know that his wife has taken t o a param our. Well, divorce won’t do as t hat deprives him of a hom e with t he bed and all t hat goes with it. Should he shop around for a younger one, wouldn’t it be a matt er of tim e before she follows the example set by the first one. If on the other hand, her w ere t o set tle for a middle aged, it might as w ell am ount t o inviting her lover into t he marital fold. Thus subst itution, t hough difficult, m ight ensure an encore, doubling the ridicule. So, anyway one might look at it; st at us quo w ould seem t he bett er course for a cuckold to stay on course.’ ‘What if out of spite, Sat hyam were to sue her for divorce,’ he t ried t o visualize in the end. ‘Won’t that be a blessing in disguise for m e as I can m ake her m y m ist ress t hen? Though I’m going back to Delhi by t he year-end, won’t my w ork bring m e here often enough? Oh, how well, she, as m y keep, would keep m e in com fort in m y hom e, away from hom e. M oreover, can’t I fix her at the office to keep an eye on t he guys over t here? What a loyal spy she w ould make. Whichever way it m ight turn out to be, all the sam e, it should go easy on m e. In fact , it would be bet t er t hat Sat hyam leaves her for m y safekeeping. Isn’t Roopa an em inently keepable wom an? Well, she would learn what it ’s like flirt ing with m e, sooner or lat er, one way or the ot her, w ouldn’t she?’ Chapter 26 Softw are of Detour That April evening, Roopa im patiently wait ed for Sathyam’ s ret urn from t he office. As t hough to keep irritat ion at bay, she was rereading Sandhya’s lett er delivered that day. ‘When it’s t im e for their com ing, what do I get t o hear from her? It’s about the postponem ent of her exam s! Why not renam e India as Postponeland? How som ething or t he ot her com es in my way to Delhi. Com e what may, I should go now to know where I stand on the ladder of Raja’s love,’ she thought at length, folding her mat e’s missive. Having realized that it was already t en, she felt worried and thought , ‘What could have held him up? Why, the homebody that he is, he com es hom e st raight , doesn’t he? Is it possible that he’s in som e t rouble? Or, is he gossiping w ith Prasad? Why don’t I find out from Prasad? Anyway, let m e wait for a while.’ When Sathyam didn’t t urn up even by eleven, she called Prasad, from a nearby P.C.O. “ It ’s Prasad here.” “ I’m Roopa.” “ Say, your darling.’ “ You shut up.” “ Oh, don’t joke.” “ Is Sathyam there?” “ Has he gone m issing or what?” “ Don’t be silly, I was just checking up,” she said. “ Okay, let ’s be serious, can I check-in dear?” he said. “ Don’t bother, mist er,” she hung up amidst his loud laught er. ‘Som e w elcom e developm ent at last ,’ ‘Well, she would never ever get wind of m y gam e plan,’ thought Prasad, st ill holding ont o the receiver. On her return, however, finding Sathyam sit t ing drowsily on the staircase, Roopa said in vexation, “ I had t o ring up Prasad for you,” she said by way of an explanation. “ I think it’s tim e, I apply for a t elephone connect ion,” he said giving way t o Roopa. As she opened the door m orosely, he follow ed her drow sily. However once t hey w ent in, t rying to take her int o his arm s, he said, “ I couldn’t say no at the part y. After all, t he leading cont ractor arranged it. Now, isn’t it your t urn t o say yes.” “ Oh, how you st ink in your m outh,” she reproached him . ‘How does that mat t er, as you don’t kiss anyway,” he said t rying t o grab her. “ Know t hat I was scared to death,” she said pushing him away, st ill cut up with him . “ Though I’m sorry for you, I’m happy that you care for m e,” he said taking her hand all the sam e. ‘So, t his is the reward, let’s have dinner,” she said as she pulled her hand from him. “ I’m full any way, let me serve you for a change,” he said fondling his belly. “ Go have bath and have som e butt ermilk at least ,” she said. “ Ok, I’ll be pole-ready by then,” he said winking at her. “ What happened to you all of a sudden!” she said a lit tle surprised. “ Have a peg or t wo and see how you get lift ed all ends up,” he said m errily. As Roopa gave him a sharp look, pleased w it h him self, Sathyam slipped into the bathroom , but before Roopa could figure out w hat was happening t o him , he cam e st orming into t he bedroom . “ Oh, how nice it felt,” he said, as he got up from the bed. “ Don’t m ake it a habit for t hat ,” she said coyly. “ Won’t I make you habit uated for that,” he winked. Surprised at his unusual gusto in bed, she w ondered, ‘When a man on high has it so different for w om en, how com e then t hat drinking becam e a taboo w ith them?’ “ So,” he said as t hey refreshed. “ Why don’t w e go t o Delhi now? Sandhya w rot e again wanting us to make it soon,” she said coyly. “ You know it’ s not even a month since I took over the Section, I can only think about it a lit t le lat er,” he said put ting on airs. ‘At this rat e w e’ll never make it, I bet t er go on my own now,” she said. “ Don’t worry; we’ll m ake it very soon, if ever Raja Rao set s up shop here, I think I can be of help t o him . You know , now I am get t ing to know som e very w ell placed people,” he said cajoling her. How ever, as the idea of her m ediocre husband helping her m arvelous lover didn’t appeal to her sensitivit y, she thought, ‘M y Raja is too smart t o need his help.’ She began t o wonder at the new sense of confidence in her husband, ‘What a difference has a lit tle recognition made t o his self-confidence! Why not? When a peg or m ore bet t ers man in bed, w on’t a st ep or tw o up at the workplace, but t ress t he feel good of his?’ But in tim e, as he got hardened at drink, she found him a hard nut to crack in bed. This new feat ure in her marital life depressed Roopa as her husband’s nocturnal abst inence m ade her daydream ever m ore passionat ely about her lover, the excitation of which brought her deprivation to the fore, m aking her craving to possess her Raja. So, insensibly the mission t o posses him more and more became t he obsession of her life. Heady with his newfound power, Sat hyam , however, had no thought for his wife’s predicam ent . As if t o add insult to injury, he thought it fit to bring the bott le home so as t o give a face-lift to their m iddle-class home. Thus that late summer evening, he asked Prasad to feel at hom e over a bot t le of Glenfiddich. “ You know it s Scot ch w hisky, I invit ed Prasad to celebrat e,” said Sathyam t o Roopa. “ Celebrat e what?” she said in surprise. “ What else it is but m y progress,” he said shrugging his shoulders. At t hat , before a nonplussed Roopa could respond to Sathyam , Prasad had st orm ed in. “ But why at hom e?” exclaim ed Prasad as if to ingratiat e him self with Roopa. “ Isn’t it bet t er t han coming hom e dead drunk?” she said to Prasad’ s disappointm ent . “ How I wish you’re m ore sensit ive t o her feelings,” Prasad adm onished Sathyam as t hough to put a w edge bet ween t hem , all by him self. “ I too w ish she shares m y excit em ent a lit tle, I feel I was a m ere file pusher earlier. Now I see t he faces of those w hose cases I handle. And it ’s quit e satisfying that way,” said Sathyam filling t he glasses. “ I hear there’s m oney t o make over t here, I m ean, under the table,” said Prasad in undertone. As she happened to com e w it h som e roast ed papads for them t hen, Roopa overheard him, and said, “ I’ve warned him about that . Leave alone m orals, w ho knows about it s fallout?” “ Sit ting at hom e, it’ s easy to sit in judgm ent over others. It’s not as if I’m dying for the bribe money though I know t he project cost s are jacked up to accomm odate one and all. So, even if I w ere to decline m y share of the mark-up, st ill that won’t bring any discount t o the governm ent table. The choice thus boils down to picking up your portion of it or gaping at those pocket ing it all for t hem selves. That being the reality, by taking my cut, I w ould be only robbing the robbers a lit t le,” said Sathyam. “ Why hanker aft er what’s not due, never m ind what others do,” she said spirit edly. “ Isn’t coveting the part of being,” said Prasad, im agining an innuendo. “ It ’s about one’s orientation towards t he value syst em,” said Roopa seemingly answ ering him . “ Of what avail are the old world values anymore, by the way, tell m e who cares for t hem these days. Now, it ’s t he m oney t hat m easures man’s wort h never mind how one acquires it, what m att ers is how m uch moolah one has. One could choose values for com pany but prosperity seeks the pliable,” said Sat hyam in exasperat ion. ‘So what, of w hat worth is money without virtue?” she said indignantly. ‘Don’t I know m oney is no guarantor of happiness,” said Prasad looking ardently at Roopa. ‘That’s what all the moneyed say, while making m ore of it all the tim e; the only att ribute of man is his wealt h and you very w ell know about that ,” said Sathyam in irritat ion. “ No fault ing you but only the affect ed know s about t he affliction,” said Prasad solicit ously. ‘Yet I’m sure you won’t part w it h a paisa ever more than needed, t hat is even for curing your ailm ent , whatever it is,” said Sathyam, serving him self another large. ‘But for a late start er, you seem to have covered a lot of ground,” said Prasad playing up to Sathyam’s ego, ‘It all boils down to capacit y, m y old boy, w ell, I can stand even on a bot tle,” said Sathyam proudly. ‘Because m y sist er is able t o put up wit h you, what do you say, Roopa?” said Prasad. “ If only I lose my pat ience, then you would know ,” she said half in jest . By then, as he felt that it was wiser for him to leave the scene before he was forced t o take sides, said Prasad jokingly, “ I better leave before that happens.” When Prasad was all set to leave, Sathyam insist ed that he stayed on for dinner. How ever, the guest excused him self to review the situat ion as he drove hom e. ‘Oh how does one go ast ray when exposed t o things that he was deprived of for long!’ t hought Prasad gett ing int o his Benz. ‘Sathyam is eyeing money as much as I ogle his wife. Sure he won’t let go an opportunit y to grease his palm s to the hilt and left t o him self, he m ight soon acquire the vice for making money, maybe ending up being a hoarder as w ell. Well, t hat m ight suit his progeny, if they ever arrive, but w hat of m e; w on’t that jeopardize m y idea of having his wife?’ ‘It’s about t im e that I activat e the second string of m y bow,’ he resolved, answ ering his quest ion all by him self. ‘As Sathyam makes those extra bucks, I should enable him to part w ith som e of t hem to the sex w orkers, and as t hey give and take as w ell, are t here any that deserve m oney bet t er than them . Besides, even if the last vest iges of hesitancy w ere t o prevent him from going the whole hog at ext ort ion, then t he need t o foot the bed bills and all would ensure a vice like grip on his corrupt ed psyche. So, it’s t im e that Sathyam got hooked onto t he whores. All said and done, only t he charm s of the call-girls could w ean him away from his w ife, to make way for m e as her paramour. And the craft ier t hey are, the bett er it is for m e, isn’t it?’ ‘But t hen, is this gambit wort h t he gain?’ he wondered at lengt h. ‘Wouldn’t I have laid a couple of randies in their couches by now, t hat t oo with m uch less bother? What ever, Sathyam is bound to have a tim e of his life, what with wine, wom en and all com ing his way. If not for m y obsession for his wife, he w ould have remained a frog in t he m arital well after all. It looks like it pays to have a sm art wife, in m ore ways than one! That is because, I love Roopa as much as I could and crave for her m ore than I should.’ ----‘What a fool I was, being a one-wom an m an all these years,’ thought Sathyam , as he headed hom e in pouring rain that June night. ‘Does it augur well t hat the m onsoon too has set in t oday? Won’t t hat port end wom en pouring in into my bed as it w ere? True, t his Kantha cannot hold a candle to Roopa, but didn’t she set the whole bed on fire, many tim es over. How prom ising it is t hat t he pimp told m e to expect bett er fare in fut ure. Didn’t he say his top drawer was empt y by t he tim e he had m y requisition on hand. How nicely he had put it , in his own pim pish m anner. Isn’t it tim e t hat I had m y fill, having m issed the fare all along? It would cost money for sure though it shouldn’t be a problem managing the m oolah. Well, if only I sit a lit tle tight on t heir files, won’t the cont ractors cough up enough for m e to m aintain a harem ? As Appa Rao has his guest house all for m e, can’ t I look forw ard to having horny t im e with w horish fram es? That is for sure.’ ‘Having heard about the flesh t rade all along, how I have failed to vent ure int o it so far,’ lam ent ed Sat hyam , imagining what he m ight have m issed all through. ‘In Kakinada, t he famed M irror House was just a st one’s t hrow away from m y place, yet it rem ained t oo far for m e. Won’t all swear that the bogamollu of Peddapuram are apart , with the required skills to please, acquired from the past mast ers of the flesh trade? Isn’t a visit t here overdue after all? Why don’t I go there in August when the clim at e t oo would be cozy? And for hom e consum ption, can’t I give an official colour to m y sexventure?’ Thus, whett ed by the ant icipat ed accompanying impedim ent s, escapades, Sathyam made light of the ‘What if Roopa gets w ind of m y doings? Aft er all, she might cry in t he beginning, only t o quiet en down in the end, w on’t she? What else could she do, as it’s t he way with all w om en, moreover, what she could complain as she herself is half-heart ed in bed? All said and done, don’t I ow e som ething to m yself as w ell?’ All along, though his libido craved for sex, he was shy at court ing wom en but with no need to be dashing with the whores, and having found t hem willing on their own, he felt vindicat ed in the brothels he cam e to frequent . So, as he becam e closer to them, he moved away from his wife, and the m ore he felt com fort able w it h the Kanthas, his discom fort w ith Roopa increased even more. Well, it had as much to do with the psyche of the sex w orkers as with the st ate of his mind. Wom en in prost itution tend to perceive the male as the root cause of their fall, and if anything the rudeness of those who frequent them further deepens t heir ant ipathy t owards m en. Besides, having lost t heir inhibit ions through constant exposure t o assort ed m ales, the w hores becom e coarse to sett le scores even wit h those they solicit. Yet with a considerat e man, the innat e woman in them com es alive, inducing them to show er them selves on him and it is t hus they make such feel at hom e even in their brothels. When, Roopa had reasons to suspect Sathyam ’s sexual forays, she was m ore surprised than shocked. In tim e, how ever, as his brothel mania becam e a m enace, she felt hum iliated that he should prefer harlot s to her, and at length, having been disgust ed w ith him , she thought of confront ing him. ‘He would only confirm it , dem eaning m e all the m ore, wouldn’t he?’ she felt on second thoughts. ‘M aybe, it’ s m y fault for having driven him int o alien arm s. Haven’t I offered him a cold bed, in spit e of his passion for m e? So, having been uncaring all along, why am I cut up with him now ? Is it a case of wounded vanit y then? No, it’s not so, it’s the very thought that he sleeps with all and sundry that ’s bothersom e. Now I’m simply unable to bring myself t o take him . That’s all there’s to it .’ ‘But w hat could I possibly do now?’ she began to deliberat e coolly. ‘ Precious litt le, but in a way, it ’s a w elcom e developm ent, isn’t it? I needn’ t feel guilt y when I m ake it w ith Raja in the end. It’ s as t hough the last vein of his m oral rein on my heart got sapped. Haven’t I always seen love as the only just ification for infidelity? But now, if required, even that qualificat ion could be waived now adultery. Why am I not a free bird now , though caged in marriage?’ Thus experiencing an indescribable relief at that t hought , she felt that she couldn’t care less, but her philosophic indifference couldn’ t com e in handy in her daily regim en. M oreover, finding her situation hum iliating, she continued to be confounded no end. ‘Hasn’ t Prasad start ed pressing his suit further?’ Roopa reviewed her position that evening. ‘Why should not he? Aft er all, finding m e all alone, all the t im e, wouldn’t he have guessed t hat som et hing is am iss in m y life? Who knows, for all that Sat hyam could have bragged about his lust ful conquest s. Whatever, aware t hat Sat hyam is ignoring m e; he could be licking his lips in anticipation, wouldn’t he be? Why can’t he be hoping t hat I might as well warm up to him , sooner than later? For all that, what’ s my com plaint against him ? If not for his at t entions, wouldn’t have Sat hyam ’s neglect been even m ore hum iliating. Don’t I ow e him on that count at least ? Why not I let him have m e? By that, w on’t I be rewarding him for his perseverance while paying Sathyam back in the sam e coin? As and w hen Sathyam discovers our affair, won’t he get t he tast e of his own m edicine?’ As though the crassness of the proposit ion didn’t appeal t o her sensitivity, she review ed her position all again, ‘But t hen, how does all that help m e. All m y longing for belonging would have no m eaning if I were t o bed with Prasad out of spite for Sathyam . When it com es t o Raja, it ’s not any pique but m y innat e love t hat drives m e towards him, isn’t it? Besides, having stirred m y heart, hasn’t he earned the right of possession over my body? So, I w ould give m yself to him and him alone, body, and soul. Next t im e around, won’t I gat ecrash into his life; what ever it takes m e to do.’ In t im e, unm indful of t he risk she ran on account of Prasad’s fixation for her possession, Roopa w ent on daydream ing about Raja Rao. Chapter 27 Tara’s Theory On his way t o Roopa’s place that evening, Prasad began to review his posit ion in the w aiting gam e he was forced t o play w ith her. ‘Left to herself, she would let m y passion remain in hibernation, wouldn’t she?’ he deliberat ed in desperat ion. ‘Oh m e, it ’s six m onths since I’ve been w ooing her, and isn’t t hat a record of failure for m e? All the sam e, being coy t o m y att entions, she makes it appear as if it’ s only tim e, before she grants it to m e. It seem s she’s retaining her opt ion for a liaison without taking m y t earing passion into account . It’s as if she had put my lust in her m ental loft, to ret rieve it for use, just in case. But why so in spite of it all?’ ‘What is it that could be holding her up even now , even in her low ?’ he racked his brains as he raced to her place, ‘To st art w ith, it could be the fear of desert ion that is comm on to all wom en. But haven’t I prom ised t o make her m y second w ife, as and w hen she chooses to divorce Sathyam . It looks like her m ental apathy lies in the fear of t he unknown, which is common t o all humans. But what is there for her t o lose any more? Thanks to Sathyam ’s peccadilloes, isn’t her m arried life already in a sham bles? Perceiving herself a mart yr, w ere it possible she’s deriving som e pleasure in her suffering?’ ‘Since t he m ental siege didn’t help to break her resolve, is not t he physical am bush t he only recourse left for me,” he concluded as he crossed the Secretariat. “ By overwhelm ing her in m y embrace, I should use subtle force t o drag her to her bed and pin her into subm ission. Won’t m y passion then ensure that she’s excit ed in her very vitals t o open up her golden gat e for my grand ent ry? Won’t then she explode on her own in t im e. What a rape by consent it makes, t hat too in her own den! It looks like t here’s no other way to gain her final favor. Why delay, let m e have her right away.’ Buoyed by his resolve, he leaped up the st eps, and as expect ed, he found Roopa alone in the sofa. As she got up to greet him when he neared her, he w ent down on his knees, as if in supplication, and before she could com e to gather her wit s, he enlaced her bott om with passion and buried his head there in hope. But as she t ried to withdraw in panic, he tight ened his grip with urge. While she turned dum b in fright, he declared his love with emotion, ‘I’m dying for you. If you can’t have m e, kill m e at least .’ “ Oh, get up, Tara would com e,” Roopa said confusedly. “ I don’t care for once,” he said, and buried his head back int o her crot ch. “ Don’t be m ad,” she pushed him w it h all her st rength w hile pulling herself in const ernat ion. While he landed on all fours, Tara came out of the toilet . “ I’m sorry,” he said embarrassed repairing from his awkward posture. “ I better leave,” said Tara, herself overwhelm ed at the developm ent. ‘Oh, no, don’t go now,” Roopa clasped Tara’s hand in desperation. “ Let m e not be the odd man out ,” he grinned, having m eanw hile composed him self, and left . “ I hope you haven’t got it wrong,” said Roopa, st ill in shock. “ It ’s your privat e affair, anyway,” said Tara thought fully. ‘Believe m e, t here’ s nothing of that sort between us,” said Roopa pleadingly. ‘Now I believe you, but what com es lat er,” said Tara sm iling m yst eriously. “ What do you m ean?” said Roopa in all nervousness. “ Don’t t ry to t ell m e that he just walked in and took you by your seat , I’m sure he cam e for a fling on an invitat ion draft ed by your flirt ing mind. Though he ret reat ed for now , in t im e, he’s bound to com e to do your bidding. Take my word for that,” said Tara in all concern for Roopa. “ Oh, God,” Roopa nearly swooned int o Tara’s arms. ‘It’s t im e you know som e home t rut hs about us wom en; the radars of male eyes are sure to pick up the unm istakable signals emanating from unhappy w om en. In her married life, a w oman is either sat isfied or dissatisfied, that’s all there is to it , and if som eone persist s w ith a married w oman for som e tim e, it’s a sure sign of her ow n vacillation,” said Tara m aking Roopa sit in the sofa. ‘M aybe, you’re right,” Roopa said, in spit e of herself. “ But every situation portends an opportunity as well,” said Tara wit h seeming conviction. “ The art of living lies in capping opport unit ies and not whining over problem s. It’ s only a m att er of tim e before you find yourself in the arm s of a param our, be it Prasad or some other, as your lover is nowhere near. Either way, you bet ter be prepared to be trapped in a m an’s seductive w eb sooner than lat er. You m ay know t hat t he novelty of m ale libido manifest s it self in sexual conquest s and that ensures som eone is not going to rest unt il he beds with you. But when t he novelt y w ears off, he’s prone to cross over to fresher pastures, leaving you languishing for sexual love. Do you know w hat’s going to be your likely response t hen? As if to prove to yourself that your sex appeal hasn’t lost its sheen, you’ll take another lover to sing t he sam e praises of you.” “ All I crave now is for my soulmat e,” said Roopa, beside herself. “ Who doesn’t despair for one, but there’s no way of get t ing to know the man before giving in to him, even the one you’re covet ing. And that m eans st art ing an affair, w ith all t he at tendant risks,” said Tara affect ionat ely. “ Isn’t it the bane of being a wom an then?” sighed Roopa. “ Can you alt er the fact, having been born so,” said Tara spirit edly. “ Thus it ’s sensible t o accept the handicap to start with. M an loves his t im e with wom an more than her as a person. And for all I know, females of t he animal world are worse off for that as the male w ould walk away, having had his fill and the female wait s for t he next mat e for a like t reatm ent. That’s about the qualm s of the male of t he species, and t he lot of the fem ales to satiate them , never m ind her self-grat ificat ion.” “ Is it then a man’s world of female malady?” said Roopa in exasperation. “ Yet, all is not lost for us women as our cultures highlight male egos with vitality markers, our grum bling on that score is sure t o pull m en down. Try dropping a hint or t wo that he’s found want ing, and he’s bound to subm it to you in sham e,” cont inued Tara aft er having som e wat er. “ That ’s Tara’s Theory of henpeckedness,” said Roopa laughing in spit e of herself. “ It ’s no laughing matter though, be it her man or her param our, woman either rem ains vulnerable to him to her hurt , or enslaves him to her benefit. It’s for woman to choose,” said Tara assum ing a serious t one. “ And end up being em pty either way,” said Roopa sighing. ‘M aybe, but still its thrilling exploiting the exploit er,” said Tara mirthfully. “ Is there no m iddle-way for woman for a m eaningful life?” said Roopa. “ It ’s t he way of the nat ure that it hadn’t laid any m id-path on the eart h,” said Tara to a baffled Roopa. “ While on t he subject, it pays t o know the proclivities of the sexes. Never count out a man as aged, since m an never t urns w eary of w oman’s charm s. It ’s st upid of woman not t o realise t hat past her prim e, she’s no gam e for any man. Thus, w oman has a lim it ed t im e for m en to dot e upon, and what a t im e they give us wom en in our tim e! If a wom an chooses to remain a m arital frog in her dried up well, she would w ither away anyway. Even if a wom an ventures out of her cold marital hom e for w arm ing up in her lover’ s hearth, st ill she would gain nothing in the end. Well, having had his fill, it’ s only tim e before her favored m an leaves her in the lurch. So it pays for a w oman t o bart er her favours t o stay even.” “ Isn’t it an unethical outlook,” said Roopa, for once, upset w ith Tara. “ Ethics, m y foot ,” Tara became animat ed. “ Don’t we wom en have an innat e w eakness for successful m en? If m erit alone were t o bring success in this world, that might st ill justify our preference. But don’t you know the m et t le of many of t hese successful m en? What all it takes to succeed is a m ediocre m ind t o serve t he syst em and a slavish tongue t o praise the pow erful. Isn’t it a sad comm entary of our tim es that m ediocrity is eulogized as dependabilit y and but tering is sanctified as good PR?” “ How true, but what can be done?” said Roopa. “ Devise means t o live in it without get t ing hurt ,” said Tara, as Roopa was all ears. “ It’s high t im e t hat wom en realized t hat they run behind these m ediocre minds, masquerading as successful m en. As for their wealth, t he less said t he bet t er, for it s most ly ill-gott en. However, as the social dice is loaded against the st raight forward, it ’s seldom that you see an honest m an prosper. So, sadly, the right eous cut a sorry figure for us t o fancy them .” “ But why this fem inine w eakness for t he wealthy?” exclaim ed Roopa. “ What can be done when we are m ade that way?” continued Tara. “ It ’s as w ell that t hese rouges hoard the gold, leaving us t o live with the coppers. But if they eye our asset s, why shower our favours on t hese w ith bloat ed egos, acquired on t heir sham eless climb up on the social ladder? Ironically, it’ s to these pseudo successful that we give in t o, and won’t t hat give away our poor IQ. That being the case, what’s w rong if w e put a price tag on our sexual wares?” “ So, is sex t oll the crux of your fem inism ?” said Roopa disquiet ed further. “ What ’s wrong wit h t hat anyway?” said Tara not giving up. “ One needn’t be an Amartya Sen t o grasp that it ’s their black-money t hat skyrocket s the real est at e beyond our m iddle-class reach. Those positions, to which they butt er their way through, might have gone to our m en by m erit. Think of the gadget s they bestow upon t heir kids, forcing us to match those with our lim it ed resources, lest our children should suffer from an inferiority com plex. As the unscrupulous enrich them selves without a hit ch, how is it imm oral for us to filch them a bit, if they seek our carnal company?” “ No denying your argum ent is compelling but I’m sure it’ s not your prescript ion for w oman’s liberation,” said Roopa as though pleading for a review. “ There’s a great deal that ’s funny about advice, though the halfwit s too feel t hey have a great deal of advice to offer,” said Tara reminiscently. “ But on occasion, a naive suggest ion m ight turn out to be the shrewdest of advices. When I lost my father, w e w ere penniless, and m y mother had no clue as to how to arrange for m y dowry. Then som eone cam e up with the suggestion that I could use m y body to raise my dowry. Though m y m other cried foul, finding it sensible under t he circum stances, I w ent along w ith it. As you can see, I haven’ t lost a wee bit for t hat weird advice.” ‘It rem inds m e of t hat Shakespearean quot e, virtue it self turns vice, being misapplied, and vice som etim es by action dignified,” said Roopa in apparent awe. “ It ’s for you to decide what to do with your virt ue under siege now,” said Tara gravely. “ Let m e see w hat fate has in store for m e,” said Roopa m elancholically. ‘But the irony is t hat others believe you’ve already com prom ised your posit ion, once I overheard Lalitha’s sleazy rem ark that you could be barren, as your ovum is in a dilemm a over choosing M ast er X and M ist er Y,” said Tara to Roopa’s discom fiture. ‘Oh God, but to tell you the t rut h, I’m hopelessly in love, you know wit h w hom ,” said Roopa in exasperation. ‘I w ish your liaison becom es virt uous in act ion,” said Tara, extending her hand to Roopa. ‘I can t ell you he has all the int ellect t o bring that about,” said Roopa. “ How far is Delhi now?” said Tara. “ It ’s dream distance away,” said Roopa. “ I wish it get s love-close” said Tara smilingly. “ I hope so but you’ve saved t he day for m e,” said Roopa turning all the coyer. “ That t oo to my client’ s hurt ,” said Tara with a sm ile. ‘Oh, really, don’t I ow e you even m ore for t hat?” said Roopa, taking Tara’s hand. “ Your lover’s fling with m e is the right com pensation,” said Tara winking at Roopa, “ but I won’t insist t hough I’ve a crush on him .” “ Thank you dear enticer,” said Roopa sm ilingly. “ I don’t know w hy, but I love you,” said Tara kissing Roopa’s cheek. “ I love you m ore t han ever,” said Roopa, and hugging Tara, she showered kisses all over her face. “ Bett er save your ardour for him ,” said Tara affectionat ely. The fact that she made Tara privy to her innermost feelings enabled Roopa feel as t hough she had shared the secret of her life w it h the world it self. The feeling that Tara knew the identity of the m an of her dream s m ade her even more ecstat ic. It was in that st at e of mind Roopa bade good-bye to Tara at t he wicket -gate. ---As Tara walked up the lane, Roopa found herself st aring at her all the way. While t aking a turn at the m ain road as Tara looked back, Roopa waved at her as if propelled by a sense of gratitude for that love-saving gesture of hers. Well aft er Tara w ent out of her sight , Roopa stayed put at the w icket-gate, reminiscing about the fascinating closeness that developed betw een them. When Roopa was closing t he wicket -gat e, as Lalitha had opened the main door, recalling her sleazy comm ent, Roopa felt embarrassed in her presence and extricat ed from the t ête-à-t êt e that Lalitha began. Once in her hom e, however, as if to fully grasp t he import of the incident, Roopa sank in t he sofa, and reliving the m om ent, she began t o see Tara’s charact er in a fresh light. ‘Wasn’t she in a position to abet Prasad’s cause and then blackm ail m e into her calling,’ thought Roopa in all adm iration for Tara, ‘w hat a noble wom an she is, in spit e of everything?’ And in cont rast, as t he brotherly m ask worn by Prasad to hoodwink Sathyam to seduce her appeared ever m ore m ean to her, she despaired, ‘But in t he m an’s world, Tara is a loose wom an and Prasad a gentleman. That’s the paradox of perceptions, isn’t it?’ She t ried t o figure out Prasad’ s future m oves t o enable her t o com e up w ith appropriat e responses, but as she failed t o come up with a gam e plan, the post man cam e up with Sandhya’ s let t er as though to show her the way. All along, Roopa had hoped that on their way to Kakinada, Sandhya and Raja Rao w ould come t o Hyderabad. That lett er of Sandhya’s helplessness conveyed that her father hijacked her when som e work took him to Delhi the w eek before. The unexpected developm ent depressed Roopa for it m eant she wouldn’t m eet Raja Rao in t he imm ediat e future. ‘Fat e seem s to be playing hide and seek w it h m y love,’ she thought at length. ‘Now t he least I can do is t o go to his wife to hear her talk about him . Besides, that would keep m e away from Prasad’s designs in the offing. M ore so, I could consult Sandhya for a way out of this m ess, couldn’t I?’ ‘Oh, how she got away, t he slippery slut,’ Prasad thought in irritat ion, as he recovered from t he embarrassm ent . ‘ If not for Tara’s unexpect ed presence, it should’ve been a different st ory to tell, w ell, inst ead of biting the dust myself, I should’ve made her eat t he humble pie, wouldn’t I have? Oh, if only I withdrew when she caut ioned m e. Wouldn’t have t hat saved the em barrassm ent for both of us? Surely, she would be damn cut up w ith m e for having comprom ised her before Tara. Besides, haven’t I lost m y face as well? It is bet t er that I lie low for a while so that Roopa might feel pit y for m e in tim e. Why, isn’t pity a surer way t o a w oman’s heart than man’s chivalry? What’ s the doubt about it? Well, I should wait for the right m om ent t o st rike back.’ But how were he t o know that soon Raja Rao’s love would seal t he oyst er of Roopa’s heart t o his lust for ever. Chapter 28 Night of the M ates At the Prem ier Archit ect s’ office that August aft ernoon, holding Sandhya’s let ter, Raja Rao was im m ersed in Roopa’s thought s, ‘How m iserable she could be, the poor thing,’ he sighed for the um pt eenth tim e. As t hough to get a measure of his beloved’s misery all again, he read from his w ife’s lett er once again. ‘Aft er a fortnight ’s stay here, Roopa left for Hyderabad this evening. Bogged dow n w ith her affairs all these days, I couldn’t w rit e to you. Roopa is dist raught , t o say the least . She says that Sathyam has gone ast ray, unbelievable though it is. And to add to her misery, his friend Prasad has been pestering her for quit e som e time now . As I recall your reading of her situation, I am worried to death about w hat might lie in st ore for her. Though she feels she can handle her affairs on her own, I know she needs our support now more than ever. Any delay in our being near her m ight prove cost ly for all of us. I’m sure you would ensure that we fort hwith m ove over to Hyderabad.’ As he read the let ter once again as though t o find a clue to Roopa’ s predicam ent, he becam e nervous, and felt som et hing within him was about t o snap. ‘Oh, how m y fears have com e t rue but why have I fail to act? Shouldn’t I rush now and see if there’s som ething left for m e to salvage?’ he thought in desperation. Aboard the Indian Airlines flight that very evening, Raja Rao’s thought s hovered around what Roopa’s present port ends for his future. ‘What I am rushing now for? Does she want m e anymore?’ he began to cryst allize his sit uation at lengt h. ‘Had I m issed the bus or did that Prasad jum p the queue? How does t hat mat t er if I lost her? Is it not possible that she w ould’ve given in t o Prasad by now? M aybe, she couldn’t bring herself to confide in Sandhya that she was in t he thick of it w ith him . It appears t hat her part-confession was but a sounding-board to prepare her pal to her affair with him . Oh, why have I delayed declaring m y love to her? How cost ly w ould that prove for m e?’ As t he thought of life without Roopa depressed him , even the att entions paid by the pret t y air host ess failed to impress him . ‘Am I dest ined to suffer in regret for letting her slip into Prasad’s em brace?’ he felt gloomy at the thought . ‘If she’s already carrying on w it h him, what sense does it m ake for m e t o shift over there now? Won’t that be a suicidal m ove for me? What an irony it w ould be, had she t ransferred her affect ions to another, even as I’m on the verge put ting in m y papers for her! Anyway, the m oment of truth seem s to be on hand for me. Let m e see what her life would reveal to m e.’ When the plane landed at Begum pet, he left the airport with alacrit y and w ith his heart in his mouth; he rushed to Roopa’s place in a taxi. Pacing up the st eps, as he pressed t he doorbell, he felt as though his heart was short circuit ed, and when Roopa opened the door t entatively, as her heart m issed it s beat at his sight , she was breathless. Unable to comprehend their respective positions, staring at each other, they st ood rooted at the threshold, he wit h his briefcase in hand and she w ith her bathing tow el over her shoulders. “ Won’t you let m e com e in?” he said, at last. “ Oh, I’m sorry,” she gave him way, and bolt ed the door after him as though to secure him once and for all. “ How do you do?” he said looking at her longingly. “ Pulling on,” she mum bled, unable to com e to t erm s with his unexpect ed arrival. “ It ’s been so long since w e last m et,” he said as he sat down. “ It ’s over seven m onths, I thought you’d forgotten m e,” she sighed as she said. “ How can you say that?” he said in prot est. “ You would know if only you’re a wom an,” she said in despair. ‘Being a man, it’s none the bet t er for m e,” he said deject edly. “ You should blam e yourself for that,” she sounded critical in spit e herself. “ But how’s that?” he exclaim ed in pain. “ Haven’t you prefixed forget fulness to your maleness,” she said in vexat ion. ‘What do you m ean?’ he prot est ed haplessly. ‘Haven’t you failed to turn up as prom ised?” she said as the bit t erness his earlier failure to m eet her overtook the sw eetness his presence occasioned. “ You would never know how desperat e I was to m eet you t hen,” he said as his tone got the m easure of his frust ration, as he recalled his stat e of m ind in which he had t o leave for Bangalore t hat day. “ Where there is a will there is a way, isn’t it ?” she said st ill smarting under the hurt of t he perceived let down. “ Believe m e Roopa, there was no way I could’ve com e to see you. I had to cat ch the t rain on the m ove as it were,” he said and added aft er a pause, “ I even t hought of writing to you, but I couldn’t bring myself t o do that.” “ You should’ve w rit t en, that would’ve m ade so much difference to m e,” she said in t he same vein. “ Roopa, why don’t you t ry to underst and m e?” he said with a loving t one. “ Oh, I’m sorry,” she said as her love, aided by the presence of her lover, abett ed her mind to overpow er the bitt erness it bore. “ Let bygones be bygones,” he said smilingly. “ I only felt like pouring out m y pain to you, go have your bath,” she said placing his briefcase on the t eapoy. When he made it t o the bathroom , she began set ting t he dinner ready for them . “ We’ll wait for Sathyam,” he said as he cam e out of the bathroom . “ I don’t int end to starve you till he ret urns from his four-day t our; think of it, w hat a coincidence t hat he was away when you first came with Sandhya!” she said smiling. But then, how were she t o know about Sathyam’s peccadilloes at Peddapuram on t hat supposedly official t rip. Besides, at the t hreshold of the golden mom ent of her life, even if she were aware of it then, maybe, she couldn’ t have cared less. ‘Oh, I see, I thought I could stay here for a couple of days,” he said t entat ively. “ Do you think I w ould show you the door after dinner?” she said smilingly. “ I didn’t m ean it that way,” he said a lit t le confounded. ‘But I m ean t o t ell you everything, wait, I’ll have m y bath and com e,” she said get t ing up from the dining chair. ‘Probably, it’ s all over bet w een us bar sighing,’ he thought pensively, sinking into a dining chair. ‘Hasn’t she said that m y let ter w ould’ve made so m uch difference to her? Oh, does that not imply t hat I have lost out to Prasad? Is it any consolation that I was her first choice? What if her current concern is the court esy of her past feelings? Or is her friendliness ow ing t o m y being Sandhya’s husband? What sense does the relocation t o Hyderabad make for m e? Won’t I feel m iserable seeing her carrying on with som eone else? What sort of a reward it would be for my unrequit ed love for her if Prasad w ere to t urn up now. Won’t t hat embarrass us all, and what’s worse, m y presence m ight lead to a m isunderstanding bet ween them . I bet t er pack up aft er dinner for it ’s not fair to spoil her party wit h her param our. How st upid I am t o lose a wom an like her when she could have been mine for t he asking!’ ‘Isn’t it Godsend,’ thought Roopa in relief, making use of the soap he used, even as she recalled t he bath of fetish that she had had w ith his soap during his first visit t o her place. ‘Have I not been waiting for this day all m y life? Oh, finally m y destiny seem s t o have kept it s dat e with him ! I’ll m ake him mine even if it com es t o raping him, won’t I? How we could indulge in lovemaking day and night for three days at a st ret ch. Well, w ithout a care in t he w orld. How fortuitous that he cam e at a t im e when Prasad too w ent on a foreign jaunt ! Why can’t I expect him to take the initiat ive now? It’s clear that his passion for me is kicking and alive though shrouded in hesitancy. Won’t his manner reveal t hat? If only I signal m y urge for him, won’t he engulf m e with his innat e passion for m e? ‘But to be m ore woman like, w hat if I wait for his advances,’ she thought having developed second thought s about her own abashm ent. ‘Surely he has com e in the hope of possessing m e. But st ill he may be const rained t o overt ly seek m e for fear of scandalizing m e. Oh no, now if I fail to be explicit in my invitation, won’t he take m e to be a flirt and dism iss m e forever? If I don’t let him have me now, I m ight as well forget about him in this life, maybe in the lives that follow . Well, come what may, I shall grab t his opportunity of a lifetim e, now and here, with both hands at that . Once he has m e, w on’t he keep m e in his em brace forever as I lay there in coyness? Haven’t I suffered enough to deserve the solace of his love? Have I any st om ach left for m isery, anymore?’ Soon, as t hey sat for dinner, she served him silently as if the dist raction of their conversation would hamper his partaking. How ever, const ruing her contemplat ive mood as a proof of her embarrassm ent, he felt depressed at the tragedy of his ow n making. At length, when they rose from the table, sensing his predicam ent, giving him pan, she opened up, “ I’m glad you haven’ gone t o the Ritz now, did Sandhya prevail upon you?” “ You know Sandhya is at Kakinada now,” he said. “ I’m sorry,” she said ext ending her hand. I’ ve com e t o see you on m y own,” he said taking it heart ily. “ That makes it doubly w elcom e, won’t it?” she said bringing her other hand int o the equat ion. “ I’m doubly grat eful,” he said pressing her hand with his. “ Now that you’ve expressed your grat itude, shall I bid you goodnight ?” she said coyly. “ No, t ell m e about you,” finding her gesture invit ing, he played his m ove, to probe her posit ion. “ Don’t you know that face is t he index of mind,” she said bowing her head. “ You look a lit t le pulled down,” he said lovingly. “ Didn’t I t ell you t hat I’m just pulling on?” she said looking int o his eyes ardent ly. “ Sandhya w rot e to m e that you’re having a hard t im e,” he said hesitantly “ Do you think Sat hyam ’ s neglect and Prasad’s pest ering could bot her m e really, they are just allergies, but m y ailm ent is different,” she said as t hough showing her cards. “ M ay I know what it is, if it ’s not personal,” he said sensing her m ood. “ I always thought that you knew that ,” she said coyly. “ But then how can I conclude from m y ow n diagnosis?” he said wit h rising hope. “ Why not take a second opinion?” she said as if she were begging to be asked by him. “ Tell m e t hen,” he said to reach out for t he approaching mom ent . “ Haven’t you heard my body language!” she said. “ But st ill.” he was at a loss how to respond. “ M aybe you need more privacy than here t o express yourself,” she said as she w ent int o the bedroom in an apparent invitation for him to cross the threshold. ‘Thank God, m y fears seem to be liars,’ he felt ecst at ic. ‘Is she not expect ing m e to break the ice and thaw it out? Why, hasn’t she left enough hint s already about that? Aft er all her advances, does it m ake any sense for m e to hold back now ? Oh, in the entire pat h of love, t he st eps that lead up t o sex are the most slippery, one false st ep and it could m ake man slip out of w oman’s favor, forever. All the sam e, if he were not to vent ure, how could it ever result in an adventure? What else a lover should do than to enter into his beloved’s orbit of fam iliarit y? Then, won’t she suck him into her arena of lovem aking? Where else one can find a bett er jaunt for t hat than t he precinct s of her bedroom?’ Even as Raja Rao began t o st ir in hope, leaving the door ajar, Roopa started shedding her sari. ‘Why cover m yself when he’s coveting m e,’ she felt amused as she undressed languidly as if t o allow him tim e t o catch her in the act . Soon, in nude, she turned towards the door, and not finding her lover though it was ajar, she reached her wardrobe. Then, she pulled out the nylon lingerie t hat she earmarked for the occasion, and fondling it lovingly, she wore it leisurely. Slowly, she st epped in front of the mirror and thought am usedly, ‘Won’t it reveal m y m ind to him besides my body? It’s tim e I find out .’ When Roopa was about to pull open the door, Raja Rao pushed it open to get in. “ I love you,” he took her into his arm s ardently. “ I’m lovesick,” she said pressing against him , “ I need your t reatm ent .” “ Oh, how I’ ve been dying for you,” he said, lift ing her head and looking int o her eyes w ith all his longing. “ I wonder why I didn’t t urn mad craving for you,” she said holding him deliriously. “ I felt wretched fearing that I might ’ve lost you,” he said t ight ening his hold on her. “ Raja, I was worried to death that I may not have you,” she said as she began t o sob. “ Roopa, don’t cry, now I am yours forever,” he said as he kissed her t ears. ‘Darling, longing for you, I becam e an urchin of love,” she said cuddling him. “ Roopa, I always felt your love in t he pulsations of m y heart,” he caressed her head even as she wet t ed his shoulder. But when he felt her heavy, realizing that she has faint ed, he glided her t enderly t o her bed, and rushed for som e water. “ Are you Ok, darling?” he asked her, as she opened her eyes. “ I never felt bett er dear,” she st ret ched her hands, invit ing him int o her embrace. “ I always felt you are mine,” he rest ed his head on her ample breast s, turned heady by her heaving. “ You’ll never know how I craved to be yours,” she said, running her fingers through his curly hair. “ It didn’t take m e long to realise that m y life would be half em pty w it hout you,” he said pushing his head int o her enticing valley. “ I was scared of leading a loveless life,” she pressed him into her, further. “ I’ll give you so much love that you can spare as m uch as you want to Sat hyam ,” he said enigmat ically. ‘Honestly, I cannot love anyone but you and moreover he doesn’t need m y love anymore,” she said dismissively. “ Roopa, you know I love you, but st ill it ’s only a part of our life – yours as well as mine - and t hat is the reality of our life, and of what avail is all our love if it won’t bring happiness to our lives. If not for his sake, at least for our accord, love your husband and make him happy so that we can be happier ourselves. M oreover if you are m orose in your house, there is no way I can be lively in m y hom e, in spite of Sandhya,” he said endearingly. She sat up elect rified, and smothered him with kisses. “ Oh m y Raja, I’ve always felt that I loved the right man, but now I know t hat I’ve a noble soul for a mat e. I promise you dear that for your sake, I shall love him as much as I possibly could,” she cried in ecst asy. “ I’m glad really,” he kissed her hand. ‘Know I love you more than I love m yself,” she cried, rubbing her face against his. “ Roopa, I can never picture to you my pleasure in loving you and t he pain I felt w anting you,” he said gripping her all the more. “ I’ll give you every joy that a woman could give her man,” she said, reaching for his lips. “ You would find m e m ore t han reciprocat ing,” he said, aft er a kiss t hat both felt had last ed a lifet im e, While he was fondling her adoringly, suddenly, she jumped up onto t he bed, and as she dropped her lingerie languidly, he wat ched her m esm erically. “ I so much fantasized about our lovemaking that I don’t feel shy about it anym ore,” she cried joyously. “ I’d never imagined that a five m eter sari would’ve hidden so m uch of a beaut y! What a fabulous figure you have, m y darling!” he said sizing her up in nude. “ Oh, how your gaze makes m e feel nude in your looks as w ell as in my t hought s! I dream t a thousand dream s in which every inch of m e gave you joy,” she said ecst atically, as he kneeled up t o her in embrace. “ What a beautiful bush Roopa,” he said, caressing her crot ch in delight. “ Isn’t it on fire t o warm m y Raja,” she said joyously. “ Oh, what a scent,” he said euphoniously. “ You may find it’s tast y too,” she said coyly, ruffling his hair. “ Why, haven’t you been t old?” he said raising his head. “ Orals my dear, I’ve reserved for us,” she said pressing him to her declivit y all again. “ What a honeycom b it is!” he said in delight, pausing. “ Drain it t o the dregs dear,” she cried rapt urously. “ What a love it is Roopa,” he said to her at lengt h. “ It ’s my life Raja,” she said pressing his head into her once again. “ You’ re m y wife no less,” he sput tered. “ Hubby dear husband your ardour,” she said pulling him away. “ I’m nursing it for you,” he said ecstat ically as she herself fell on him libidinously. “ Let m e have m y m outhful t oo,” she took him greedily. “ Roopa, all m y fantasies pale before your fare!” he said dream ily. ‘Oh, how I practiced w ith dummies for this day?” she mut t ered. “ You know how to love a man,” he said affect ionat ely, caressing her back. “ Thank your maleness for that,” she said, reaching for his hairy chest. “ Roopa how fortunat e we both are,” he said caressing her head. “ But darling I felt w ret ched all these days,” she said, unable to get over her bit terness of her past suffering. “ We’ll make it all the sweet er for that , “ he said reaching up to her lips. As t hough to draw t he nectar of love to sustain her nascent life, grabbing his eager lips with her throbbing ones, she deep-kissed him for long. ‘I’ll ensure that you’ll lead a fulfilled life,” he said as she freed his lips. “ Know t hat I’ve only lived want ing t o be yours,” she said kissing his hand. “ I’ve never seen any so sumptuous, how they’ve been haunt ing m e ever since I saw you last June,” he said, fondling her breasts. “ How m y hands ached squeezing them for you,” she joined him in the act . “ Don’t I ow e it to them then,” he kissed her palm s. “ Take it ,” she pushed her breast int o his eager mouth. “ Splendid,” he sputt ered. “ Bit e it,” she crooned in his ear. “ M addening,” he said, as he took the other one. “ Pocking,” she crooned, licking his ear. “ Roopa,” he said in pleasure. “ Raja, m ake m e yours,” she said in want. “ Have m e then,” he said w ith urge. “ Inaugurate,” she said, as she pushed up her bot tom t o him. “ So, it’s our nuptials!” he said kneeling behind her. “ That makes m e your wife,” she helped him penetrat e her. “ How it cam e t rue!” he t hrust with pleasure. “ Court esy Sandhya!” she moaned in pain. “ Never bet t er,” he was ecstatic. “ Go to t he root s,” she said, pushing herself all the closer to him . “ Well, I’m there,” he said joyously. “ M ake it count,” she said with passion. “ Roopa, I’m fulfilled!” he moaned at length. “ Raja, you’ve inject ed life!” she cried in relief “ Oh God, how good,” he said lying mot ionless on her back. “ I don’t m ind dropping dead now,” she clasped him as they cam e to rest . “ But I want m ore of you,” he crooned into her ears. “ How I w ish Sandhya sees us m at e,” she exclaim ed. “ wonder how my queen m at es think about each ot her even as t hey mat e their man!” he said, pat ting her feelingly, and narrated to Roopa’s joyous ears how Sandhya never ceased thinking about her all through their honeymoon. “ Lesbians like,” she said mirt hfully. “ Keep it up,” he said adm iringly. She got up to swit ch on t he geyser and when she ret urned, they w ent about scanning each other, adm iring the charm s of their fram es t hat occasioned their em otional int egration. In their bat h that follow ed, he soaped her breasts admiringly, and said, “ What a size!” “ It ’s t he sam e,” she said as she pointed at t he clothesline. “ So you spied,” he said smiling, squeezing them both. “ You should’ve had m e t hen?” she sighed, rest ing on him . “ I thought for long but gave up in the end,’ he said, and explained what all he had contem plat ed then. “ Oh, how I wait ed for you t hat whole night ? Lat er, after you left, unsure of your love, how I was torn apart by t he hope of love and the despair of passion, only I know. But as if t o com pound the miseries of m y life and the dilemm as of m y love, cam e in Prasad to push m e int o a liaison. Even as I was at t ract ed t o him , being in love with you, I felt asham ed of myself, and the more I was flat t ered by his att ent ions, the m ore I suffered in guilt. But as he began to charm m e with his passion, in despair, I clung on to my love for you. Well, I always want ed to give m yself heart and soul t o you and you alone. How I used t o wish every night that you would come st orm ing into my life,” she cried in his arm s. ‘Roopa, forget about all that, I’ll ensure your happiness,” he kissed her t o assure her. “ Though I shudder t o think about the past, t he pain I’ve had m ade this pleasure even more pleasurable. Don’t ever leave me darling; now I’m sure that I’ll die wit hout you,” she said clinging ont o him. ‘So I,” he said, lifting her head. “ I’ll live by your word,” she said taking his hand. “ Hold your breath, I’m coming here for good,” he said fondling her hand. Like a child in disbelief, she asked him to repeat him self and sank back int o his em brace seeking solace. “ I’ll be here soon, never to part again,” he crooned into her ear, as if t o cajole her subconsciousness. “ Oh, I may die of happiness, when is t hat?” she hugged him t ightly, and said coyly, “ Next month it self,” he whispered, as if it w ere a secret for her ears only. ‘So, t he Don would be on double dut y,” she said, cupping him at the source of her joy. “ Say, doubly blessed; what a rare fort une Roopa?” he said joyously. “ What if Sandhya finds out?” she said nervously. “ She loves us enough t o rejoice at our love,” he said dreamily. “ Then why not put her into the loop st raight away?” she said looking at him expectantly. “ Wait for a while for it ’s no good jolting her now,” he said cont em plat ively. “ Do you feel guilty since you love her?” she asked in apprehension. “ I always knew that I wanted both of you,” he said with conviction. “ What about you?” “ I want to be a share-farm er and not a prick-robber, and that’s how I’ve always placed myself in our love t riangle, as anyway, Sathyam never m eant m uch for m e. Now t hat you’ve com e up with that loving proposit ion, I shall reorient m y affection for him,” she said t houghtfully. “ I love it,” he said taking her hand. “ I can feel that,” she said overwhelm ed with admirat ion for him . “ Let’ s say three cheers,” he said raising her hand. “ I’ll prepare some coffee t o pep up,” she said, as they tow eled each ot her. “ If it ’s in your birt hday suit,” he said winking at her. “ Why so?” she asked coyly. “ I love to wat ch your tan vie w it h the coffee steam,” he said in a romantic st ream . “ I too love seeing our skins m erge on the canvas of coition,” she winked at him . Soon they were back in bed aft er romancing in t he kit chen for long. “ Roopa, this is as flat as a slate,” he said caressing her belly, rest ing his head on her t highs, “ let m e scribble the poet ry of our love here.” “ Raja, you m ake m e feel like a special wom an!” she said in delight . “ You’re t ruly special,” he said in all adm iration, as he turned his forefinger into a slat e-pencil t o scribble - goddess of coition. “ Now I feel fine being barren that keep m y figure intact for your delight ,” she said joyously. “ But I would love to father your child,” he said, looking int o her eyes. ‘I love nothing more than m othering your child but I feel it won’t be fair to him ,” she said, disappoint ed herself. “ I value your sensitivit y and am proud of your love,” he said, as his face lighted. “ But still, having pined for each other for so long now, tonight is an except ion to the rule. So, cat ch m y egg on the sly and I’ll look the other way, but from t om orrow I’ll condom t he litt le fellow ,” she said on second thoughts, toying with her love-toy. “ I have the full m easure of your love now,” he said kissing her delight edly. “ Take a shot and get it right,” she spread herself, as though t o keep her word. “ I would be disappointed if I fail,” he said as he engaged her. ‘In a way, I’m caught in a cleft as you know,” said Roopa. ‘Anyway, let that not bother us,” he said. “ It looks like life draw s the limit s even for its own fulfillment ,” she said. ‘Well, it m akes sense to live wit hin those lim it s,” he said seem ingly reconciled t o the lim itations of t heir love life. “ I think it’s tim e we rest ,” he said, at length, yawning, “ M at e, mate with m e once m ore to m ake it par,” she said going all over him . “ Par w it h what?” he said drow sily. th “ The day we m et t he 6 of June,” she said w ith gust o. “ Oh Roopa!” he said elect rified by her love. Before exhaust ion pushed t hem int o a fulfilled sleep, the light was on until it was about to daw n. It ’s a unique feature of life in that , in surmounting a mountain of m iseries, a fulfilling mom ent obliterat es the nightmares of the past . Chapter 29 A Brim ming Romance The next m orning Roopa woke up at nine as if from a dream , and found Raja Rao st ill asleep, looking at him fondly, thought ecstatically, ‘Wasn’t it bett er than all my dream s put t ogether!’ Though she touched him impulsively, as if t o confirm that her fulfillm ent was in the realm s of possibilit y, for once, as t he softness of her t ouch failed t o excit e him in his slum ber, he continued to sleep like a log. ‘Oh, what a night it has been!’ she t hought, withdrawing her hand t hough without t aking her eyes off him. ‘Didn’t I know that it would be marvelous with him? What a lover to have. Can’t he be t he one in a billion or m aybe even in a t rillion? Wasn’t all that longing w orth for this sense of belonging? It’ s as if he has pushed out all m y frust ration w ith his very first thrust it self! Haven’t I experienced the feeling of lovemaking in his passion? How fulfilling it feels! What a joy being a wom an! I wish to be a woman in every birt h if only for being his woman. Well, but for Sandhya, I w ouldn’t have met him at all.’ ‘Don’t I owe Sandhya in other ways too,’ she fondly recalled about her friend, looking at their man. ‘Som e associations bring in happiness, and som e, nothing but m isery, so it seem s! To start w ith, how I hesitat ed t o befriend her! Can I imagine life without her now ! Won’t he cement t hat bond even more? But, in spite of our euphoric threesom e t alk, how would Sandhya take to our affair? Will she feel bet rayed at my seducing her man? One cold look from her, and won’t I die of sham e t hen and there. But she knows how I’ve been suffering for want of love, what if I beg her for his love? Won’t she push m e into his arm s w ithout second thought s? Then, as I cuddle in his em brace, w on’t she as well caress m e for my com fort?’ ‘Until t he ot her day, all I craved was for a corner in his heart , and no more,’ she t hought amusedly. ‘But now , am I not yearning for orgies with him and his wife. That ’s w hat hum an nature is all about, isn’t it? The more one get s, all the more one want s, doesn’t one? St range that m y life is, w ho know s, t hat too might com e true. Why won’t he like to bring that about him self? Surely he would love t o see his wom en craw ling all over him and on each other as w ell, it’s m addening even to im agine our orgies. How lucky I’m that I haven’t give in to Prasad t o spit e Sat hyam . Why, I could have avenged m yself on Sathyam all right, but how could all this bliss have been mine. Well, negative em otions could be t ools of revenge, but it ’s t he positive feelings that aid one’s fulfillment , don’t t hey?’ “ Won’t you get up m y love?” she crooned in his ears, as he st irred. “ What ’s t he tim e like, darling?” he asked drow sily. “ It ’s nine, want som e bed-coffee?” she caressed his back, as he laid his head in her lap. ‘What a time we’ve had Roopa!” he said, enlacing her at her waist . “ I’m unable even to recollect m y yest erday’s agony, how w ell you’ ve driven out m y suffering past with your magic wand!” she whispered into his ears, as if to keep her feelings out of the earshot of her past . “ Prom ise you w on’t desert me; having got you, I’ll die if I were to lose you. Now I love t o savor life with Sandhya and you,” he said earnest ly. “ Aft er all that waiting, do you think I’m m ad to spoil my party? I would be your Roopa Rao for the rest of my life. Oh, how our nam es score in the symphony of love!” she said in all fulfillm ent. “ So to enthrall our life,” he pressed him self closer t o her. Having gone into t he kit chen t hereaft er, she woke up to t he surroundings. ‘What if Yadamma had com e and gone, having got no response!’ she began to t hink. ‘M aybe, there was a load shedding before I got up and her door knocks t oo might’ve failed to resonate with m y ears that got used to our love-talk. But what would she infer finding him here tom orrow? I’ll t ell her not t o turn up for the next t hree days. But how am I to keep away Lalitha from peeping in? I couldn’t care less about her as anyway she t hinks I’m lost . But isn’t discretion the bet t er part of valour? So, on and off, I should go t o her myself to ensure that she wouldn’t com e up calling on m e. With that t respasser of a Prasad having gone abroad, only Tara would be among t he likely callers. And given our background, anyway, she would be a welcome visitor; what if I invite her m yself to let her see it all for herself?’ “ How we can carry on in the long run,” she said, serving him som e coffee “ Why worry, t rust our passion for that ,” he said nonchalant ly. “ But others would raise their eyebrows,” she said in disappoint ed tone. “ None, if you’re my personal secret ary,” he said winking at her. “ But Sathyam is averse to m y working,” she said in disillusionm ent . “ Won’t Sandhya bring him around?” he said taking her hand. “ Oh, you m y lit tle schem er,” she said in all adm iration. “ Why not w e eat out and make it to a m at inee too,” he proposed. “ How sexy, w e do ow e ourselves a part y,” she said excitedly. “ I deserve to show m y fortune to the world, don’t I?” he sm iled taking her into his arm s. ‘What a man you are, how you excite m e with your looks, t ouch and talk,” she said joyously. “ Won’t your seat, skin, and sm ell make you a XXX randy,” he said pinching her bot tom . “ Do you drink rum?” she asked him. “ We do have at t im es,” he said w inking at her. “ How I love to join you,” she said dream ily. “ Wait for her call,” he said sm ilingly. When they had their bath together, she led him to her wardrobe and said coyly, “ You choose for m e.” “ You fascinat e in any sari, but seem ravish in brown, and grey,” he said, picking up light brown chiffon. “ So our tast es t oo match our m inds,” she said taking the sari from him . “ Only to fuse in our loving heart s,” he said enlacing her “ By the fortuitous hand of Sandhya’ s angelic soul,” she said sm ug in his embrace. “ You said it darling,” ’ he said looking at her lovingly. While m esm erically wat ching her w earing the sari, he said, “ What reciprocit y betw een your body and your sari! Can’t I see it gracing your persona while acquiring an alluring shape all for itself? Oh, Roopa, how you are bodily fashioned for lovemaking! To t hink that you’re m ine is gratifying really.” “ How your passion solaces m y soul?” she embraced him . “ Even though your hair is fabulous in it s plait , I feel you turn a charmer in chignon,” he said coiling her hair. “ Won’t I look an aunt y, yet I’ll be what you want m e to be,” she said aiding him. “ Aunt y, what with your nape too showing it s t eet h, you make a deadly randy. How fascinating you are, m y darling!” he said kissing her bare back that her blouse exposed. “ So, from now on, this is the hairdo of Roopa Rao,” she said kissing him . “ There’s no way I can describe the spell of your charm ,” he laced her ardently. “ Can’t I discern t hat from your dem eanor,” she said joyously. “ You glow even m ore in a pearls chain as it glist ens on you velvet skin,” he said endearingly, “ What in your eyes would glam orize Sandhya even more?” she asked him . ‘Im agine corals on her rosy bosom ; I’ll love to adorn you t ogether,” he said dreamily. “ As I see the m easure of man is his abilit y to envision the nuances of his woman, you m easure up as the man of men. I’m sure Sandhya too would love t hat day when you have us bot h,” she said in all adm iration. “ You know how to flat t er your man,” he pat t ed her, obviously pleased with her out pouring. “ Let m e see if Lalitha is around; lock the door and join me at m y signal,” she said, as t hey were ready t o leave. “ What a st range honeym oon it is, we couple at hom e only to decouple at it s st eps,” she said, as he reached her on the m ain road. “ Being confined to it s sheath, the cut ting edge of love remains sharp, maybe that ’s t he charm of liaisons,” he said taking her hand. “ But st ill I want to be known as your woman not the other woman,” she said pressing his hand. “ Let’ s not be too greedy, why uproot Sathyam’s life? Rem em ber your promise,” he said cajolingly. “ Sorry, I was carried away, I shall keep m y w ord, and love you ever more for that,” she said apologet ically. When they sat at a table for t w o at Blue Fox, she said, “ How I w ish it w ere for the three of us. You don’ t know how I love Sandhya.” “ You can’t m ake m e jealous on t hat count , can you?” he said in sm ile, “ Why you should for all our love is all yours?” she said w inking at him . ‘‘How she has becom e a part of me; her confinem ent is telling upon m e,” he said rem iniscently, “ I know but are you going to tell her about our m eet ing?” she said taking his hand. ‘Let ’s m ent ion it in the passing, to both of them that is,” he said as he start ed foot sie. “ I thought as m uch when you got int o your chappals,” she said joining him in the foot sie and enjoying the sensual pulsat ions his t ouch has induced in her. “ Roopa, had you m odeled, M arlene Dietrich’ s legs would have been cut down to size,” he said in all adm irat ion. “ I’m glad I’ve got a leg m an for my man,” she said joyously. “ Now, I’ll give you som e legwork,” he said, as he took his leg up above her calf. “ You’ ve to locat e an office space t hat caters to the needs of our passion and a flat that goes wit h the tast e of your friend. You know it covers t he dist ance if you find them both near your house.” ‘I’ll get into the mission m ode,” she w inked at him. Having had a sumptuous meal, they hired an auto-rickshaw to go to Deepak for the matinee show . How ever, seeing som e sari shops on the way, Raja Rao asked the driver t o st op nearby. “ Let’ s get a sari for you,” he got dow n. “ Won’t I t reasure it as the comm emorat ive one,” she said coyly. ‘Won’t it rem ind m e every t im e I disrobe it ,” he crooned into her ears as she st epped out of t he auto. As both of t hem were scanning t he saris in those rows of shelves, she picked up a brown venkat agiri and began feeling it on herself. “ Won’t it go well with me?” she said excit edly. “ And t his as well,” he handed her a grey pochampally. “ I’ll have that then,” she dropped the venkat agiri. “ You have them both,” he said handing her the venkat agiri. “ If only you promise m e that you would have us together,” she said to him in undertone. “ Would I love t hat any less?” he murm ured in her ears. Aft er she had select ed mat ching blouse pieces for those saris, they cam e out of the shop. “ How else I can thank you t wice than by wearing t hem both together?” she said coyly, as they walked towards the aut o-rickshaw, kept in wait for t hem , “ That would be an overburden to my eager hands, and to tell you the t rut h, you look t he best with none on you,” he whispered int o her joyous ears. “ Let m e also reveal m y m ind; you’re alike handsom e, w ith and w it hout your jeans,” she said t urning coy. “ Thank you, I’ll join you in a m inut e,” he said, as she got into the auto. “ What ’s t hat ?” she asked him when he ret urned with a packet . “ It ’s personal,” he winked at her. “ Is that so?” she said reaching for it . “ I feel so,” he sm iled holding it back. “ Then lock it in your briefcase,” she said feigning anger. ‘Anything to do with you is personal to me, isn’t it?” he said, cajoling her. “ M ere words aren’t they?” she said looking the other way. “ Som e colorful thirt y-sixes for you,” he crooned int o her ears. “ Good m emory,” she sm iled, thrilled to t he core. ‘The haunting one of our love spheres,” he whispered, While she rest ed her head on his shoulder, as though made heady by his love, the auto t ook them to the Deepak Theatre. How ever, by the tim e t hey got into cinema hall, the matinee was already under way but no sooner they sett led in their seat s t han t heir legs sought part ners for foot sie. Thus by the int erval tim e, even as t heir legs got w eary, t heir souls craved for fusion. So, as t heir looks conveyed longing, their legs signaled the exit . “ Get a few ,” she whispered as they cam e out of t he theat re. “ How many?” he said heartily. “ As many as you could wet ,” she said coyly. While she wait ed at t he gat e, he went out on her errand, and soon, as she saw him ret urning with a Vanilla large picked up at the nearby Kwalit y, she guessed his int ent ions and follow ed his coming in all eagerness. “ So, you’re fond of ice cream ?” she said all the sam e, feeling his pocket . “ I thought you could blow hot and cold,” he w hispered leaning ont o her. “ What an imagination,” she ruffled his hair in admiration. “ Ow ing to your inspiration,” he squeezed her waist . Soon they reached Dom alaguda by an aut o-rickshaw, and as t hough to shed part of her fear, she asked the driver to take them right up t o the st reet corner. “ I’m sorry, but you’ve t o com e behind m e,” she said as she went ahead of him . “ Why t he precedent was set last night it self,” he said making her shy. When she gave him the green signal, propelled by his passion, he increased his pace t o reach her place. Then, closing t he door behind, he overwhelm ed her in no tim e. “ Roopa, in spit e of her love, life without you would’ve been em pt y, how lucky w e made it,” he said, as t hey lay satiat ed in each other’s arm s. “ Give m e the credit for enticing you in t he end, oh, how desperate I was for your fill,” she said in a fulfilled tone. “ That ’s why, I ow e you even m ore,” he clasped her hand. “ Raja, t he more you explore my body, even more I’m coming to know about m y soul. I never knew love w ould m ean so m uch in spite of m y craving for you,” she said, kissing his chest . “ Even if I spend a lifetim e on your fram e, I’m sure it w ould st ill have nuances left t o enthrall my senses,” he said, fondling her. Soon they had t heir nap as though t o refresh them selves for t he tim e ahead and as t hey woke up she said, “ I’ll make som e coffee for us.” “ M ake it a lit tle hott er for bet t er effect,” he said w inking at her. “ Why not,” she winked back at him , as she went into t he kit chen. “ See how it differs from those ice-cream jerks,” he said even as she ret urned w ith t wo cups of st eaming coffee for t hem. “ With you I’m a gam e for anything,” she said ent husiast ically. “ Oh, you are a marvelous woman,” he shrieked in t im e. “ For the m arvel of a man,” she sputt ered. “ Brought by the hand of love” he said in ecstasy. “ I’m afraid the lat ex would lacerat e,” she said, condom ing him at length. “ Oh! Roopa what a dam e are you?” he said in happiness. “ I’ll let you know now,” she said, as she m ount ed. “ Oh, m y love” he cried in ecst asy. “ Hold m y boobs,” she moaned in joy. “ What a randy,” he said, as he took his turn in their lovem aking. “ Horny honey,” she said, sat iated at length. “ Roopa, I’m coming to see the com monality between sex and sport, basics being the sam e, it ’s t he players who raise t he bar,” he said resting on her belly in fulfillm ent. “ How t rue,” she said caressing his chest . When they bat hed t ogether in the evening, wanting to have him there t oo, she made him want her even more. Aft er bath, as she began w earing the new pochampally, he ogled at her, as if she w ere new t o him. “ I’m sorry that you’re caged here,” she said apologet ically. “ No sorries in cupid’s nest ,” he said taking her into his arm s. “ So so sexy,” she said sinking into him . When she got int o the kit chen t o prepare dinner for them , he started helping her in t he kit chen chores. “ Why get tired here when you’ve got to exert elsew here,” she said taking away the kit chen knife from him. “ Will this do?” he said in smile, as he squatt ed on the floor, leaning to the wall. “ That ’s fine, but don’t dare st ir out from there,” she said, assuming the post ure of a monitor with a ladle for the stick. “ M ay I know what went wrong w it h you and him,” he said hesitant ly. ‘M y life an open book for you, but why spoil our part y with my problem s,” she said. “ You know I want you to be happily w ed-locked, let ’s see how we can fix it,” he said concernedly. “ I’m happy you care,” as she said, she w ent up to him to kiss. While she prepared their m eal, she narrat ed her life and tim es, and said in the end, “ I’ve only to blam e m yself, for I never m ade him feel want ed.” ‘I’m sure, he would return to a sweet er home,” he said, caressing her affect ionat ely. “ To be honest with you, I could never love him the way I dreamt of loving a m an,” she said, cuddling herself in his embrace. “ I shouldn’t have married him at all and that w as the biggest blunder of m y life. So it’s in a void that I lived till you sw ept m e off m y feet on that fat eful 6th of June (she looked up and winked at him ). Having got you aft er all that craving, I should’ve cared t wo hoots for him, but as you’ve opened m y eyes to t he real m eaning of our love life, I shall open m y heart to him as well. Now, I’m full of hope as your love has given me zest for life.” “ I would love to see that dawn in his life,” he said reaching for her lips. “ Raja, I’m really proud of you,” she said hugging him tightly as he released her lips. “ I’ll bring that about, if only to prove the power of our love. I t hought about what you’ve said and realized t hat it makes m uch sense. As you’ve pictured the sent imental aspect s so clearly, I could see the practical ut ilit y of it all. Aft er all, adult ery could be a double jeopardy for w omen, as affairs can’ t cat er to t he marital irritant s t hat push w om en into alien arm s; and m aking it worse for them, liaisons induce a feeling of guilt , pricking their conscience all the t im e. So, while st ill having to endure that which made them adult erous, wom en in liaison find them selves carrying the cross of infidelity as w ell. Besides, in t ime, t he fear of exposure, impart s dullness t o their sense of excit em ent, and t hat robs them of t he thrills on the frills. When in t he end, t he inevitable desertion is on hand; won’t wom en wonder about the fut ilit y of it all, so your idea could be a viable via m edia for such. Oh, how I feel enslaved by your int ellect ual love.” ‘I’m proud of you Roopa for expanding it so w ell,” he kissed her ardently. “ With all that rubbing w e’ve been having, a lit tle of your int ellect could have seeped int o m e,” she said with a sense of satisfaction. “ Add that to your love and charm s, w on’t you enslave m e,” he said in adm iration, and added in jest. “ But do spare me for I’ve to serve her as well.” “ Why w on’t I lend m y helping hand to help you serve her bet ter,” she said as she w inked at him , and thought, ‘How unique m y life is! Isn’t it thrilling to have a man and his w ife for lovers without t he ot her being wiser to it? Oh, how excit ing it is, being in t he eye of t he love st orm .’ “ M ay I see your course m aterial,” he said, as t hey cam e out of the kit chen. She readily placed all the course mat erial before him and looked at him eagerly. “ I know from your let t ers t o Sandhya that your pen carries the beauty of your hand,” he said perusing her not ebooks. “ Bur how I w ish I can show you the Rama Kot is in m y heart bearing your nam e,” she said leaning on him . ‘Roopa, I love your lett er greeting m e w hen I get back to Delhi,” he said, kissing her w rit ing hand. “ What else to w rit e than seeking sex dat es from m y horny man, so that is that,” she said coyly. “ Surely you can picture your reflect ions of our union for one,” he said. “ As if you haven’t seen t hem all,” she sank into his lap. “ Being unlucky in love,” he said reflectively, “ I never had any love lett er to read. Seeing Sandhya, m y mind want ed her as w ife before love ent ered my heart . But as you know ours is love at first sight . That way, you’re the first woman I loved and had. If you feel it’s not risky, w e could correspond t ill we come here.” “ I’m happy being special t o you but I feel sad that you had t o wait for so long to lovemat e,” she said cajolingly, and added in disappointm ent, “ Yet , I don’t want som e postal mishap ruining our love.” “ You can safely w rit e, if not receive,” he said, and added in jest , “ If you fail to w rit e, I’ll send you a reminder.” “ Blackmail,” she sm iled. “ Love mail,” he laughed. ‘Ok boss, but tell me how I can assist you at w ork,” she said in all seriousness. “ So to say with your presence it self; M oreover, your general abilit ies and her creative capabilities should do wonders for us, I’m really hopeful that we three could m ake it w ork.” he said thought fully. “ With t wo wom en backing your genius, I’m sure we would succeed,” she said in all adm iration. “ Don’t be lavish in your praises; only when somet hing goes on smoothly for som e length of t im e, can one say that som e genius is at work t here. But w e haven’t even st art ed,” he said unpret entiously. ‘I’ve a hunch that our sufferings are behind us and a rosy future await s us,” she said exuding optim ism . “ But what of the present,” he said ardently. “ It ’s in our mating, isn’t it?” she said amorously. In the ecstasy of their lovem aking quite a lot of m idnight oil was burnt t hat night as w ell. ---Waking up at his honeym oon t im e of nine, Raja Rao t iptoed into the kit chen to surprise Roopa, and as he laced her at her back, she lay sm ug in his embrace for long. “ What ’s for the day darling?” he crooned into her ears at length. “ Why not a Lam bretta ride, all t he way int o t he w ilderness,” she said as she had an agenda on hand. “ No doubt it w ould be an exciting ride but what if Lalitha derails it by alerting Sathyam about it?” he said. ‘I couldn’t care less for once, but even if it com es t o t hat , won’t I make up som ething for an explanation?” she said nonchalantly. “ Roopa, what a perfect ten you are!” he said, wat ching her wear the brown Venkatagiri sari. “ But Sandhya is t en plus one, and I m ean it,” she said. “ While your passion supplies m e the life-force, she sustains t hat w it h her love, t hat ’s how you both bring substance to my life,” he said contem platively. “ Why not a ménage a t rois then,” she said enticingly. “ Not t hat I want it any less t o happen but what I seek m ore is that you succeed with Sathyam,” he said taking her hand. “ As m uch as I want to live wit h you, st ill I would try to be m ore eager for him , if only as a salutation to our love,” she said, moved no end. When they st epped out of t he house and got onto Sathyam ’s Lam bret ta for a ride int o the wilderness, riding t he pillion, as they crossed t he cit y limit s, she enlaced him am orously. “ How pleasantly hard it is Roopa,” he said, without turning back. “ It ’s my dream ride Raja, take m e to som e no man’s land,” she hugged him closer. When he finally st opped the scoot er near Sham irpet, she spot ted a place yonder for t heir rendezvous. Spreading a bedsheet under a banyan t ree, they sat for a session of sw eet nothings, and having eat en som e rot is with dalfry bought at a dhaba on t heir way, they sett led for siest a. But no sooner they woke up than she goaded him to m ove around the place ‘like grazing cow s’. “ You’re crazy really,” ’ he said. “ Am I not in love?” she walked spirit edly ahead of him . Soon spott ing a mango grove, she ran towards it , dragging him all the way, and as t hey got therein, leaving him perplexed on the ground, she clim bed up a w ell-grown t ree. When she perched herself on a low branch, and invited him to join her t here, he obliged her saying, “ How you am aze m e Roopa!” “ Raja you gave m e the real m e,” she said cuddling him in delight . “ Roopa, even in my wildest dream s, I haven’t imagined anything near this,” he said holding her dearly. “ Now I’m being gripped by the animal in m e,” she jum ped down, pulling him along. “ Be m y bull,” she said having bent on the ground and lifting her sari t o bare her arse for him . “ How you’ve becom e insane!” he said am azedly. “ True, but t hen, you should know how I’ve been craving for you? I want you t o lay m e at w herever I’d pined for you. M aybe, it ’s the only way I m ight be able to erase t hose painful m om ent s of my craving for you. How I w ish you could stay put in m e. Why has not nature m ade it that way?” she said excitedly in her provocat ive post ure. “ Oh, to be wanted like this is divine indeed,” he said, as he follow ed her bidding. In the end, as the sun was all set to cross the horizon, they headed back t o t he city, as if to beat it at its own gam e. But once they reached Paradise, they st opped for a cup of Irani chai that they shared by the roadside. Thereaft er, having loit ered on the Tank Bund for a while, on their way back hom e, he picked up four bot tles of King Fisher. “ Are you going t o gobble up all that beer?” she said second guessing his intentions. “ I thought you would share,” he said tantalizingly. “ Does it help m e t oo?” she winked at him . “ Yes, t o take the stuffing out of m e,” he said in smile. Reaching hom e, they were relieved at finding a padlock on the landlord’s door. “ Looks like my bad-luck is a spent force now , t ouch wood,” she said, touching the door before she opened it. “ That’ s good for our love,” he said repeat ing the rit ual. Having stuffed the beer bot t les in the fridge, they w ent toget her int o the bathroom for a shower. Though they w ent in t ogether as if to save tim e, yet they t ook a long tim e com ing out of it, only t o set tle down on the bed for ‘cheers’. “ Isn’t it bit ter,” she said after t he first sip. “ You will feel bet t er after a gulp or m ore,” he said in encouragem ent. “ I know it w ould be bet t er for m e, even without m e drinking it ,” she sm iled. “ You are a pet dear,” he said. “ Like her, you m ean,” she said, sm iling. “ Did she t ell you that she likes her peg having my peg?” he said with a glint in his eye. “ I won’t bet ray her secret s, even t o her man,” she said in m irth lying in his lap. “ So you would gang up in our m énage a t rios, bett er I have second thought s,” he said in jest About to respond, she ret ched, and his hands got out st ret ched. “ Oh, I’m sorry,” she said in em barrassm ent as he w iped her m outh clean, he having cleaned his own hands before. “ Why, won’t you take m y cum?” he said, cuddling her in his em brace. “ If not for that what for a w oman is m ade?” she said sm iling, looking into his eyes as he sought her lips eagerly. While he made love t o her, she readily surrendered her soul to him as her body sought him even more eagerly. When she was at preparing meals for them , enjoying his drink, he kept her com pany in the kit chen, and as if the beer tast ed bet ter from his bot tle, she began to share it with him at every t urn. Having been rejuvenated aft er dinner, they indulged them selves, as if t here would be no sex life left after that night for t hem . ----When Roopa got up the next day, finding Raja Rao staring at her longingly, she felt as if she woke up from a dream. “ Why stare at m e as if I’m new to you?” she said, getting closer t o him, “ I’m not able to believe that all your beauty is m ine,” he said, blowing into her navel. “ Worried about the void, I couldn’ t sleep for long,” she said pensively “ I’ll be back in your arm s before your love bit es lose their t races,” he said baring his shoulders. “ Wish I were a vam pire to live on your blood till then,” she said bit ing him to the bones. “ Ooh, m y bit ch,” he said in pain “ I it ch for such,” she said in want . ‘What shall I t ell Sandhya’s about these,” he said st ill in pain. “ Tell her to ask m e,” she said coyly, and added,” You want her t o deliver a boy or a girl?” “ Baby girl,” he said. “ If I could, I would like t o bear your son,” she said. “ Why is that?” he said inquisitively. “ I want a fut ure Roopa t o have a m an like you,” she said admiringly. “ Roopa, oh, how you love m e!” he said hugging her. “ When would be the barasala?” she said. “ Once you hear from her don’t fail to book your ticket s,” he said. “ I’ve an idea, w e shall m ake it in a 1st Class coupe for t wo; as I make som e coffee for us, think how to bring it about,” she said excit edly, and he t oo followed her into the kit chen. While preparing the coffee and picturing their togetherness on the t rain, she recalled her weird experience in the coupe, and as if t he milk on the burner t oo shared her urge t o narrat e the episode t o her lover, it boiled it self in double quick tim e. Having heard her recap, he t ried to figure out t he embarrassm ent she might have felt t hen, and said, “ That ’s what life is all about, st ranger than fiction, as they say, but do check below t he bert hs before all else,” “ No worry as it ’s once bit t en t wice shy, now t ell m e how w e get in t here in the first place,” she said eagerly. “ Book a coupe for us in t he Godavari, party joining at Kazipet . You ring m e up so that I too can book m y t icket t o kazipet . As he would be w it h you till t he t rain m oves out, you book another t icket for you as usual. Then at Kazipet , we would check int o t he cupid’s corner,” he explained as they had coffee. “ What a ‘love on wheels’ t hat would be reminding m e, jab miya bibi raaji t o kya karega kazi,” she hugged him , spilling the dregs on him . When the clock st ruck eleven though, it occurred to her that in it s forw ard m arch, t im e would abet her lover to leave her for his w ife’s place t hat evening, and that made her feel morose. “ Cheer up Roopa, If you sulk, t hat would only make it w orse for m e,” he said at last . “ M aybe you can m easure m y love on the scale of your misery,’ she sighed. ‘How t rue,’ he said, hugging her. “ You can’t separat e love and anxiety in a woman’ s heart ,’ she said, tight ening her grip on him . “ That’ s why love is so painfully sw eet,” he kissed her tears, ‘and salt y too.’ By the tim e they reached the Secunderabad Railw ay Station in the evening, Roopa began to see Raja Rao’s im pending departure as a necessary evil for their fort hcom ing t oget herness. “ As you make love to her, give m y love to her,” she whispered to him in the din of the arriving t rain. When t he Godavari Express languidly pulled out of that railway plat form, gazing at him lovingly, she waved at him furiously. If only her sense of longing for her lover had acquired a physical dim ension, probably t he t rain, in spite of it s diesel pow er, wouldn’t have moved an inch forward. Chapter 30 Euphoric Forays The Godavari Express, w hich Roopa boarded at Secunderabad that Sept em ber evening, raced on t he railway track as if pow ered by t he pull of her passion even as the sound of it s vibrations synchronized with t he pounding of her heart beats. But , when t he t rain cam e to a screeching halt at Kazipet , ending her t wo-hour long anxiety, it didn’t take long for her t o jump int o the waiting arm s of Raja Rao. “ I was worried about your t rain m aking it in tim e,” she said aft er deep kissing him for long, unmindful of the surroundings. “ Why would I take chances? I was ahead by a day,” he said holding her. “ Oh, sorry for your lovely wait,” she said, not hiding her happiness. “ What is it before our year-long longing,” he crooned into her ear. Then as they reached the first class bogie, pulling him t owards the fart hest entrance, she said, “ I’ve something to show you.” “ Can’t you wait till w e get in?” he w inked at her. “ It ’s a special from t he Indian Railways for us,” she said, and read aloud from the passenger chart past ed over there. M R. RAJA RAO M RS. ROOPA RAO “ You know how to feel love, and express it as w ell,” he said pressing her shoulder. “ Isn’t it a bold st at em ent in bold let t ers?” she said clinging to him lovingly. “ Even small print suit s our lovesick eyes,” he said lovingly. “ Of brave souls, that is,” she said looking at him adm iringly. “ True,” he said looking at her lovingly. “ How are you dear?” she asked him , at last , when t hey set tled down in t he coupe. “ Yours eagerly,” he said w inking at her. “ Let m e see,” she felt him at t he soured of her fulfillm ent. “ How are things?” he said holding her breast s. “ Am I not happy?” she said joyously. “ Say radiate but what about him?” he said taking her hand. “ He becam e hom ebody all again, w ell with the bot t le for com pany; at last , I could make him feel at home in his hom e. Shall I t ell him t o thank you for t hat,” she said in all sm iles. “ Never m ind, I would befriend him,” he said with an apparent satisfaction. “ Why buy a headache?” she smiled. “ What could be w orse t han t he heartache we’ve had, oh, how I shudder to think of t hose days,” he said squeezing her hand. “ What about t hese days?” resting on his shoulder she caressed his chest . “ Don’t you see that m y cup of joy is overflowing?” he said reaching for her lips. “ When I heard about the new arrival, I felt as if I w ere her m other,” she said. ‘So, she’ll have a double prot ection against m y pampering,” he said smilingly. ‘Before I forget , these days all say that I’ve become forget ful,” she began. “ Lost in love!” he said, int errupting her. “ But to regain m yself I’ve paid an advance for your office as w ell as Sandhya’ s Sweet Hom e, bot h in Himayatnagar,” she said enthusiastically. “ So, you’ve got the sets ready for m y shooting,” he said pinching her crot ch. Shortly thereaft er, the TTE had com e and gone, leaving them on their ow n, and having bolt ed t he door, Raja Rao opened his suit case, and pulled out an ‘Int imat e’. “ When you’re around, w hy do I need this?” she said, sm elling it. “ Not hing is bett er scent ed than your body, it’ s just t o make it a witness to our int imacy,” he said, rubbing his nose all over her. “ You’ re such a pet,” she said, running her fingers through his curly hair. “ I read your lett er a hundred tim es for it s romantic quality,” he said as he pulled it from his pocket . “ Thanks for your complim ent, for m y m aiden att empt,” she sank into him coyly. “ Why don’ t you read it for m e?” he gave her the let t er. “ Why do you want to em barrass m e?” she said gazing at it lovingly. “ Having seen your love in t he print of your hand, now I want to savour it in the tenor of your tone,” he coaxed her. She smiled wit h sat isfact ion, but read w it h inhibition. “ Raja dear, Believe m e, for m ore than an hour now, I’ve been toying w ith my pen to picture the feelings of m y heart so t hat you could feel them in my m issive. If only you’ve been around, by now , w e w ould’ve m ade love t wice over. Is there any human expression other than lovemaking that is so full in it s int ent and content ! I wonder why I feel so diffident t o find words to express t hat by which I breathe life, is it not our love that helps m e live. M aybe, a woman prefers to preserve her love in the recess of her heart , as if it s exposure, even to her lover, deprives it of it s prist ine purit y. You know, I didn’t have any inhibitions turning nude t hat night, before your very eyes, t hat too on m y own. So, isn’t it strange that I should st ruggle now t o bare my heart , in spit e of your comm and! It looks like the emotions of m y love are closer to m y heart t han t he feelings of my fram e, if not , how could have I st eered clear of all t hose temptations for the appointm ent with our fulfillment ? Oh what a dest iny! Why, I’m annoyed with you st ill, for having insist ed on m y penning down m y inner feelings, alt hough I made you privy to every nuance of m y emot ion. Haven’t I conveyed m y craving for you through m y body, every t ime it was ent wined wit h yours? But , as you know , I only live t o fulfill every w him and fancy of yours. All the same, I can feel your desire to behold our love in m y hand, having seen it t hrough m y eyes. But be certain that whichever way you look at it, you will st ill find m e fulfilled. If I could m ake you feel likewise, I would have a purpose to live, and a cause t o die for. Don’t you pull faces (she paused to see his face and found it aglow) I know what our love m eans to you too. Thanks t o our union, I have a revelat ion, as I find it hard to relive the sexual ecstasy I’ve experienced with you; t he sensual pleasure of your touch has come t o stay in m y consciousness. It is as though the softness of your skin has seeped through m y flesh. I’m in wait - to meet and mate. Yours ever, by heart and soul, Roopa Rao.” “ I’m eager,” he said. “ I’ll ablut e,” she went about it. “ I’m thirst y,” he said in tim e. “ Let’ s turn 69.” “ Oh, m y Roopa,” he sput t ered at lengt h. “ Let’ s roll over.” “ Don wants it,” he said pushing her away in t ime. “ Dame t oo craves.” “ Juicy w elcom e,” he said as she took him in. “ I’m going m ad,” she groaned. “ Your spasm s t ell,” he crooned. “ I’m dying,” she cried. “ How thrilling,” he moaned. “ Your motions t ell,” she was ecstat ic. “ I’m com ing!” he exclaim ed. “ M y orgasm t ells,” she cooed in the end. As t hey lay in embrace, she said, “ Lay m e in the bed that I grew up daydreaming.” “ What a love rash you’ve?” he said in all adm iration. “ If it ’s a new coinage, you m ust at t ribut e it to m e,” she said happily. “ Done darling,” he said kissing her. “ Won’t laying the hen in its den be a big game?” she said lovingly. “ What next, m y den,” he said, in jest. “ Imagine the possibilities, with the ot her one around,” she w inked at him. “ How devilishly you love Roopa!” he exclaim ed. “ A devil in the bed and an angel otherwise, haven’t you heard it said,” she said joyously. “ I’m com ing to know about it,” he said sm ilingly, and added aft er a pause, “ What of Prasad?” “ Are you jealous of him ?” she said coquettishly. “ Has one loved wit hout being jealous? Do you know of any?” he said holding her. “ I feel sorry for him t hat I made him wast e his t im e in his fruitless chase,” she said. “ How generous you are, even t o your adversary,” he said. “ But st ill, w on’t he have a cause of action to claim opport unit y cost s from m e,” she said in jest , only t o cont inue reflectively, “ Shortly after you left, he cam e to force m e int o surrender and I could clearly see that he cam e det erm ined t o drag m e into bed. How int ense was he in his int ent then, and what a st orm he creat ed at that is beyond description. Oh, how he t ried every tool in his lusty kit t o w rench m y resolve, why he even threat ened t o kill him self with my kit chen knife. Since I didn’t yield even then, he injured him self on his chest as if carrying out his t hreat to kill him self. As I rem ained unm oved aft er all that, he called me a frigid flirt , and angered by m y st ony silence, he left in a huff, never to ret urn.’ “ M aybe he too loves you,” said Raja Rao. “ Though he lust ed aft er m e like nobody else, he never cam e to love m e; why, at the very out set m y sixt h sense forewarned m e about it . If not , he could’ ve had m e m uch before you made m e yours. Oh, you can only see to believe t he int ensit y of his passion t hat day! Thank God, your August visit saved the day for our love and m e as w ell; otherwise, I don’t think I could’ve must ered t he required st rength to resist him t hen,” she said reminiscently, Then, as she hugged him with t he relief associat ed with having escaped som e danger, he held her with the feeling associat ed in ret rieving a valued object before it s accidental fall, and said, “ But w ould he leave it at that. What if he begins spying upon you?” “ I t old Sathyam about it all, to take the wind out of his sails of m ischief. Even otherwise, I don’t think we need t o worry about him anym ore. Aft er all, t he vanity of man makes him believe that if a w oman shuns him, she w ould snub others as well, but , should man suspect that one is carrying on with som eone, he would im agine that she could be an easy lay for him as w ell. It ’s all because man tends to picture wom an’s preferences through the prism of his fallacies, and not in the mirror of her proclivities,” she said coolly. “ What ever, it ’s the wom an’ s whim that prevails in the end, isn’t it?” he said “ You shouldn’t grudge us our only advantage, otherw ise, are we not at the receiving end, in every way?” she said, picking up some bananas from her basket . “ I haven’t seen you reading this before,” he said, finding an Andhra Pathrika t herein. “ I picked it up at the Higginbot ham’s to keep my anxiet y at bay,” she said, giving him a banana. “ Don’t I underst and,” he said patting her on his head. “ I read a couple of st ories, but I felt t he charact erizat ion was poor,” she said in disappointment. “ Charact ers of fiction are authors’ children and crit ics’ neighbors, even if w e perceive t hem as inadequat e, nevertheless, we should appreciat e the fact t hat they are the product s of som eone’ s imagination, however limit ed t hat m ight be. It’s not oft en that you com e across a book from which you could quot e much,” he said enigm at ically. “ I agree, but in these w rit ings, I only find t he phantom s of w ishful thinking but not any product s of im agination.” “ Do you have som e m ore?” he asked her, having helped him self t o a couple of them by then. “ It ’s t he last one,” she offered him t he one she was about t o have. “ Never m ind, you have it,” he persist ed. “ You know m y preference for the one with the skin,” she pushed t he banana into his mout h as a prelude. Lat er, aft er they savored the m eal that she brought along w ith t he saada paan for t hem , which rejuvenat ed them for their noct urnal exercise so much that when the t rain approached Eluru at three, unable to part from one another, the lovers were st ill at caressing each other. “ At this rat e you m ay be sending me to Sandhya’s bed just to rest ,” he sm iled in the end. “ She has one year lead over m e that is after discounting the off days, so let m e get even before you can be even handed,” she said winking at him . Aft er t hat journey of ecst asy, they reached t he Kakinada Town Stat ion in t he m orning t hat is aft er changing the t rains at t he Samalkot Junction, and for appearances sake, t hey went their separate ways - he in his in-laws’ car and she in a cycle rickshaw. While a hiatus aft er lover’s union is welcome for sw eet reflections, what is unw elcom e is t he painful separation that entails it. ----While t he rickshaw -puller was peddling her home, Roopa t ried to speculat e about his w ife and their life. ‘Would their married chores be any different from t he middle-class m ores? M aybe, for want of privacy in the slum life, affairs could be but a handshake away. But then, w on’t that dampen t he pining of love and ham per t he exhilarat ion in t he union? How am I to know?’ she wondered. “ Welcom e Roopa, how are you doing?” Ramaiah greet ed her warmly. “ Naannaa, you know the face the index of m ind,” she said joyously. “ Yes, you look happy,” said Ram aiah in apparent relief, as though her joy has reduced his guilt. “ Glad you’re relaxed,” she said noticing his m ood, and headed t owards t he kitchen, shout ing, “ O, Janakam magaru. “ “ You have it now , ever since Sandhya’s conceived, w e had it from her on your account,” Ramaiah said to her in all sm iles “ You can’ t go back without a medical checkup; be sure about it ,” said Janaki, as Roopa joined her. “ You bet t er sort it out with your son-in-law when he com es,” Roopa enlaced her. “ Does he count at all, m y poor brot her-in- law,” said Raju t easingly. “ When you’re m arried, you would know about that,” said Roopa smilingly, “ But you look exhaust ed?” observed Janaki. “ Is it so?” she said sm iling. “ Ask Sandhya, if you don’t believe m e, I know that her words are t he gospel t ruth for you,” said Janaki. At the thought of her impending m eeting w it h Sandhya, what with her guilt feelings com ing to the fore, Roopa was tied her to bed all morning, rationalizing her affair with her husband. Scared t hough she was at t he prospect of facing her friend with her lover around, however in the end, as her love for the form er got the bet ter of her guilt, she sprang up from her bed. How ever, on her way to Sandhya’s place, she recalled her stat e of m ind when Sathyam returned aft er Raja Rao had left, ‘How is it that I didn’t feel guilty then, but felt it odd to t hink in term s of loving him , t hough I gave m y word to Raja? But with Sandhya it ’s all so different , isn’t it? It ’s her love that sust ained m y int erest in life until her man turned me on. Won’t seducing her man am ount to bet rayal? Well, if I develop qualm s on that count , won’t I end up in the doghouse of guilt ? Aft er all, I’m not for robbing her joy by grabbing him all for m e, isn’t it? What’s wrong then, if I share his affect ion w it h her? Isn’t it fine, given our lesbian connection, w on’t ext raordinary sit uations call for ext raordinary solut ions? Why not w e t hree engage our love in a round robin of ardour?’ Helped by that euphoric feeling, Roopa felt relieved by the t im e she reached the Dist rict Collect or’s bungalow. “ What ’s your secret Roopa that you look prett ier t han ever?” said Damayanthi in w elcome. “ Surely you radiat e! Sandhya is im patient for you; what a friendship yours is! Touch w ood, may God keep it that way,” said Kamalakar. As she began to clim b up the staircase, Roopa saw it all in a new light . “ Sandhya might m isread the cause of m y joy, what if she suspect s that I’m carrying on with Prasad? What a pit y that I can’ t clarify,” she thought. When Roopa reached t he t hreshold, she found Raja Rao cuddling his kid, even as Sandhya was hugging him from behind. As Roopa coughed t o announce her arrival, Sandhya jum ped for joy. “ Oh, Roopa,” Sandhya reached out to her w it h her out st ret ched arm s. “ How’s our little darling?” said Roopa, fondly looking at the baby over her m at e’s shoulders, in their sm ug em brace. “ Here she is,” said Raja Rao com ing near. Still enlacing Sandhya, Roopa pinched the baby, and said, “ So cut e, she’s like her mother.” “ Seem s she too w elcom es you,” said Raja Rao, alluding to t he cries of his baby. ‘Isn’t it my coercion that led to the out come?” Roopa said t o him in all smiles. “ Oh, how ravishing you look! You’ve never been bet ter,” said Sandhya. “ I don’t know, but that’ s what everyone says,” said Roopa, and taking a hard look at Sandhya, she said in undertone, “ Why, you too look fuller in your fulfillm ent. Won’t t hose extra pounds com e in handy t o him and to m e as well?” “ Won’t I love that,” Sandhya cooed back. “ What ’s t he secret Roopa?” said Raja Rao with t he int ent of m aking Sandhya get used t o his closeness with her friend. “ I’ll t ell you,” said Roopa winking at him , and then turning t o Sandhya, she apologized, “ I’m sorry for being so lat e.” “ Who’s she aft er?” Raja Rao sought Roopa’ s opinion about the newborn. “ She has her father’s feat ures and her m ot her’s charm s,” said Roopa, looking fondly at the baby. “ Hope she picks up your diplomacy, as she grow s up,” said Raja Rao in jest . “ So, our dream is com ing t rue, how did it feel when he broke the news to you?” said Sandhya taking Roopa’s hand. “ Can’t you guess? I nearly sw ooned,” said Roopa reenacting the act . “ Thank God, she didn’t collapse then,” said Raja Rao. “ Well, to spare you the t rouble,’ Roopa t old Raja Rao, and t urning to Sandhya, she said dreamily. “ It’s dream -like lovey.” “ Lovey sounds nice, can I borrow that,” he said. “ Ask Sandhya for she has its pat ent,” said Roopa mirt hfully. “ Have you m ade it easy or difficult for me?” he said sm ilingly. “ Know from her,” said Roopa. “ I thought of joining you by the month end but m umm y w on’t have it; she feels I w on’t be able to manage the baby so early,” said Sandhya in all disappointm ent . “ Am I not on hand t o lend m y helping hand?” said Roopa. ‘Who’s for wast ing your talent s at baby-sit t ing, can’t we t ogether cont ribute at his office?” said Sandhya, “ I love that but you know how touchy Sathyam is about m y working,” said Roopa in vexation. “ Leave t hat t o m e,” said Sandhya. “ Let’ s see,” said Roopa. “ He want s to make us bot h his business partners,” said Sandhya. As Roopa st art ed sobbing, for want of a bet t er response, Sandhya couldn’t hold her t ears of joy either. The euphoria of their love insensibly im pelled in Raja Rao the urge t o m erge with his wom en. “ It ’s fort une to partner your beaut iful souls,” he said as they clung on to him as one, as he held them both in his arm s. “ How concerned you bot h are, now, I can live in joy and die fulfilled,” said Roopa bogged down by t ears of joy, “ Roopa, don’t get em otional,” said Raja Rao pat ting her head, fearing she m ight bare her soul, overcom e by rem orse. “ What would be m y share of the investm ent?” said Roopa, recovering herself at length. “ Don’t bother about that; it won’t take m uch to get start ed,” he said. “ But st ill I would like to cont ribut e. I can sell some of m y jewels,” said Roopa. “ Do you need t o go to t hat lengt h?” said Sandhya. “ I don’t want Sathyam ’s favour and don’t like to be a drag on you,” said Roopa. “ We bet t er respect her feelings,” said Raja Rao t o Sandhya. ‘So, as I hold your jewels in t rust , we use m ine as our common wear. Is that okay?” said Sandhya. “ Sandhya you’re a wonder,” said Raja Rao. “ She’s the fort une, of yours and m ine as w ell,” said Roopa t o Raja Rao, enlacing Sandhya. “ Being your beloved, is no less a fortune,” said Sandhya, taking Raja Rao’ s hand. “ What a fortunat e circle it is,” said Raja Rao holding Roopa’s hand. “ I want to keep her for us,” said Sandhya holding their hands together. “ I’ll be your love slave,” said Roopa, coy in the circle of affection. “ Haven’t you enslaved us yourself,” said Sandhya affect ionat ely to Roopa. “ What about t he lit t le darling’s nam e?” said Roopa. “ Let him apply his m ind,” said Sandhya. “ I welcom e your suggest ion,” he said to Roopa. “ I’ll second her stand,” said Roopa, leaning on Sandhya, as t hough in solidarit y. “ As you’ve passed the buck to m e, you both are equally accountable, and as the ball is in my court, I can’t avoid taking a shot at it . Thus t he nam e derives by it self - Sa - Ro (Ra) Ja, - Ra being silent , Saroja,” he said mirthfully. “ Lovely!” Sandhya exclaimed. “ Creative!” Roopa adm ired. “ Inspired by love,” he said, taking both t heir hands. “ I’ve t o leave now ,” said Roopa reluctant ly, and w ithdrawing herself from them , she w ent up to kiss Saroja. “ Com e for lunch tom orrow,” said Sandhya kissing Roopa in turn. “ We’ll com e to pick you up uninvited,” said Raja Rao in jest . “ Are you the one to wait for an invitation, so don’t keep m e wait ing,” Roopa smiled. Seeing Roopa so joyous, Sandhya couldn’t contain her joy, and thanked Raja Rao for enlivening her friend’s mood w it h his charm and wit. On her way hom e though, Roopa wondered as to how t o bring about a hom ely union w ith her lover. How ever, as she reached hom e t here was a godsend for her in the form of a w edding invitat ion t o the Ramaiahs. Chapter 31 Living the Dream The next morning as Raja Rao and Sandhya went to see Roopa, it was Janaki w ho received them as Roopa was having her bath then. “ Your in-law s speak well of you, and that goes in favor of any m an. Not to speak of your wife, m y daughter Roopa too sings praises of you, and t hat speaks for it self. Now t hat you’re moving over t o Hyderabad, w e can relax about our Roopa,” said Janaki t o Raja Rao in w elcom e. ‘I’m glad they would be together again; m y wife has led only half a life in Delhi,” he said smiling. “ Roopa says that you’ re going to stay nearby,” said Janaki. “ I wonder why Roopa didn’t look for a house of tw o port ions,” said Sandhya. “ They grew up glued together from their schooldays; may God bless them ,” said Janaki t o him. “ Surely your blessings would stand them in good st ead,” said Raja Rao to Janaki. “ As the saying goes, you w ould live for hundred years,” sighting Roopa coming out of her bath, exclaim ed Sandhya. “ That int erest s m e if you too live along with m e,” said Roopa, slyly looking at Raja Rao, as she proceeded int o her room. ‘Sandhya, let’s show him the place,” said Roopa, as she joining them soon. “ Why do you need me for that?” said Sandhya, engaged as she was with Janaki. “ Grace m e in m y parental hom e,” said Roopa, leading him inside. Once they entered her bedroom , she em braced him ardent ly, and he kissed her passionat ely. “ Luckily, tom orrow, m orning, m y parent s would be at t ending som e w edding for m e t o ent ertain t heir newest son-in-law , so com e by ten,” she whispered t o him , as he released her lips. “ I’ll com e with loads of that,” he crooned into her ear. “ Let’ s get going,” said Sandhya, as t he lovers reappeared in the main hall. Soon the t hree of them got into the waiting Ambassador t o m ake it to t he Collector’s bungalow. Aft er a sumpt uous lunch, that follow ed a lot of m errim ent, Sandhya closeted herself with Roopa, leaving Saroja to Raja Rao’s care. “ You never looked sexier,” said Roopa, having ardently kissed Sandhya. “ I’m glad both of you feel the same way about m e, “ said Sandhya. ‘Your generosit y makes me more indebt ed than ever,” said Roopa hugging Sandhya. “ I’ve an axe to grind and you know that ,” said Sandhya taking Roopa’s hand. “ Oh, m y lovey,” Roopa kissed Sandhya affectionately. “ How I w ish w e get fused into one,” said Sandhya lovingly. “ How are w e to see each other and gloat about us then?” said Roopa in jest . “ By making him a w itness to our closeness, can’t we gauge how it feels from his eyes,” said Sandhya coyly to Roopa “ I’m afraid our joy is too good to last , just one misunderstanding would be the end of m e,” said Roopa thought fully. “ Given our bondage where’ s the scope for t hat?” said Sandhya m aking light of it all. “ Don’t foreget that you’re married now,” said Roopa. “ I don’t see Raja as a bother,” said Sandhya assuredly “ But I’m no rakhi sist er of him ,” Roopa said tentatively. “ But you’re his friendly half,” said Sandhya, cajoling Roopa in her arm s. “ And t hat ’s my w orry,” said Sandhya cuddling Sandhya. “ Why, it should be a cause of hope,” said Sandhya caressing Roopa. ‘If I rem ember correct ly, Napoleon said that m an woman friendship leads to love,” said Roopa t entat ively. “ I’ve not only t hought all about t hat but also not iced how you gloat over each other,” said Sandhya, kissing Roopa. “ I know wom en t end to be touchy when it com es to the other woman. But as ours is a lesbian case, the prospective other wom an happens to be m y own w om an.” “ Oh, lovey,’ Roopa began crying. “ Why cry at the threshold of happiness?” said Sandhya, wiping Roopa’s t ears, “ If you’re unhappy, how can I be happy? It ’s for both of you to decide whet her you would like to sail on a platonic boat or swim in t he erot ic current. Who know s, our constant jest ing about sharing a man could have been the prompting of t he prem onit ion.” Roopa’s eyes glistened, even as her lips reached for t heir count erpart s that ut t ered t hose loving words. “ Wonder how you bot h bracket m y life,” said Sandhya kissing Roopa affectionat ely. “ Oh, lovey, you’re angelic really!” said Roopa, sinking t o Sandhya’s feet . “ Aren’t you m y Venus,” said Sandhya lift ing Roopa into her embrace. “ What about our Raja?” said Roopa, carried away by that euphoric m om ent. “ Our Knight of Vigour, if you like,” said Sandhya in all love for her m an and mat e. “ Oh how I’ ve suffered craving for one, cried Roopa. “ You find out if he’s the one,” crooned Sandhya int o Roopa’s ear. “ Oh honey!” said Roopa, joining t heir lips. “ What happened with Prasad?” asked Sandhya at length. “ It ’s all over now , I’ve just escaped by the skin of m y t eeth,” said Roopa, experiencing t he sense of relief all again. “ I was worried t o death as the idea of your affair w ith him scared m e,” said Sandhya rem iniscently. “ I realized it’ s really m y fault , so I can’t blam e him for signing it off calling m e a frigid flirt ,” said Roopa reflectively. “ Well, m y lovey is not for everyone’ s having,” said Sandhya winking at Roopa. “ It feels nice that you’ve a lover for m e in your m ind,” said Roopa winking back at Sandhya. ‘It’s up to you t o woo him as I stand performance guarant ee,” said Sandhya pushing Roopa in the right direct ion. “ Oh, lovey, how sexy,” said Roopa. “ You’re w elcome t o voyeur t o have the t rue pict ure,” said Sandhya heart ily. “ It ’s som e way away anyway, but isn’t the way he derived Saroja’s nam e thrilling?” said Roopa, winking at Sandhya. “ Don’t you think he’s creative?’ said Sandhya. “ Hope Saroja imbibes som e of it,” said Roopa reminiscently. “ How I w ish she shapes up w ell,” said Sandhya, as t hey went back to Saroja. “ Why not, w ith a craft sman of a man as fat her,” said Roopa in admirat ion. “ Is it about m e?” said Raja Rao, who overheard Roopa, as they reached him by then. “ Who else w e talk about?” smiled Roopa. ‘I feel flatt ered to int erest t he loveys,” he said with a sm ile. “ Roopa he stole it ,” said Sandhya in jest . ‘I bett er leave before you wish I had left , but isn’ t it too early to wish you good night ,” said Roopa in jest to him . “ You naught y,” said Sandhya smacking Roopa’s bot t om. Feeling elat ed, Roopa left t he sprawling com pound t o get into a cycle rickshaw. ‘She show ed me the green light, t he dear t hing,’ she thought in excit em ent. ‘But w on’t she be hurt if she comes to know that we already jumped t he signal? Oh, why didn’t I wait a litt le longer? But then, didn’t w e m ake it rather providentially; could I’ve conceived a bett er way of bringing about that? What an except ional tim e we have had! If I were in Sandhya’ s shoes, would I be as generous; surely, not as much as she is.’ That night , the thought t hat Sandhya more than reciprocat es her love pleased Roopa no end, and as she dwelled upon their love t riangle, she had a sneaking feeling that her lover could be craving her even more t han his bett er half. What with her self-worth enhanced by her own feelings, Roopa sank into deep sleep, such as which only a true fulfillm ent would occasion. ----Next m orning, as Ramaiah goaded Janaki to get ready to att end t he w edding of his colleague’s daught er, pretending a headache, Roopa stayed put in bed. “ Why not I stay back,” said Janaki in all concern. “ Don’t make me feel guilty; I m ight even come for lunch. Who want s to m iss a pellibhojanam ?” said Roopa goading her parent s to go. Having seen her parents’ back, Roopa waited for her param our in cont emplat ion, ‘Surely it ’s the w eird fat e of illicit love to cohabit with lies. But what a paradox it is t hat a noble sent im ent like love needs the prop of a base inst inct for its survival! And it’s as if the pleasures of a liaison act as intoxicant s to help dam pen t he sense of guilt in a w oman’s heart !’ The thought of guilt made her feel odd about the rendezvous she had chosen for her sexcapade. ‘Am I not violat ing the sanctit y of m y parental place?’ she began t o think. ‘How w ould m y father react if ever he com es to know of it? But then, isn’t he guilt y of brainwashing m e into an untenable marriage? Given that , I’m m ore of Sathyam’s wife than his daughter, am I not ? Oh, how marriage alters even t he fundamentals of a wom an’s life! What ever, whether he likes it or not, he’ s bound to shroud m y secret ; w ho want s a scandal on his hands? So be it but I won’t let these silly sentim ent s spoil m y party with Raja dear.’ Though she breat hed easier on the fat herly front, she continued to feel choked in the friendly arena. As her guilt of seducing her mate’s m an lingered on, in spit e of the nobilit y of Raja’ s love, she was insensibly gripped by an urge t o confess t o Sandhya and seek her consent t o carry on with their man. ‘Why get bogged down by guilt when I can soar with t he threesom e wings t hat Sandhya provided? But I need his nod for that, don’t I? Well, I’ll m ake him underst and t hat we’ve no right t o wrong her anym ore,’ she resolved at lengt h. Thus, Roopa wait ed for her lover, more for t he sake of his wife than for her own self. At length, when she spott ed him at some distance, she felt at ease, as though he w ere com ing for her deliverance, so w hen he took her int o his arm s, she sank in his em brace as if to deliver her soul to him . As he lift ed her head t o envisage her visage, he felt t hat it looked aest het ically beautiful, and thrilled by the charm s of her fram e; he wondered w hether the purit y of emotions rarefies one’s soul t o surface ont o t he face t o enable t he fusion of the inner beauty with t he out er grace. Won’t such dem eanor get imprinted in the m inds of those who espy that visage then? “ She’s all set to form our love t riangle,” said Roopa in all eagerness. “ Tell m e w hat happened,” he was taken aback by her m anner, but as she pict ured t he magnanimity of Sandhya’s soul, he felt imm ensely relieved. “ Roopa, I can understand your feelings and I love you even m ore for your sensitivity. Baring your heart might light en your burden, but have you ever thought how that w ould affect her m ind,” he said, hugging her. “ You know how Sandhya loves m e,” she said ecstat ically. “ It ’s stupid to destabilize it before she set s it, isn’t it?” he said. “ I agree,” said Roopa. “ If we get caught in the act now , though shocked, she would be happy for you, but t hen, won’t she suffer for her own sake?” he said persuasively. “ Sorry, I’ve got carried away! Why I didn’t I think from her angle?” said Roopa apologetically. ‘Roopa, have pat ience for happier t im es. Let her slowly get used to our closeness, and prepare herself for our int imacy. As w e three go along t ogether, let things lead from one t o anot her. Only that would be sm ooth on her, and not your dramatic confession. Don’ t we love her enough to care for her feelings?” he said assuredly. “ Then, in t he meant im e, let m e bear my own guilt,” she said overcom e by emot ion. ‘What guilt when she gave t he go ahead? Be assured, sooner than lat er, we w ould suck her into our em brace for our threesom e romance,” he said, aft er kissing her, as t hough to suck out her guilt. ‘Won’t that st rengt hen our love?” she said dream ily. “ In three fold ways,” he said as he m ot ioned her. Then, Roopa in t ranquility led her Raja to her bed, to let him solace her body and soul. “ I’m glad our love isn’t a spoiler eit her way,” she said fondling his back aft er he sat iated her urge to be m ated by him in her parent al hom e. “ It ’s precisely because of that our unique relat ionship cannot be branded as a liaison w ith t he tag of an infidelit y attached to it,” he said thought fully. “ Oh t hank you, by the way don’t you find her sexier, being a litt le plumpy?” she said. ‘Now she’s handier t o fondle, and w it h both of you carrying equal w eight, won’ t t hat make it m ore of a balancing act?” he winked at her, fondling her. ‘Won’t her figure auger w ell for m e too?’ she thought of her lesbian libido. “ Whom do you love m ore?” he asked her, finding her lost in her thought s. “ But for her, I wouldn’t have my savior in you,” she said in all earnest ness. “ But you wast e the output of our ardour,” he said a lit tle disappoint ed. “ I’ll be on pills before you’re there but for now, so be it ,” she said, ardent ly going over him once again. “ Roopa t o be honest with you, oft en I delve into m y heart, t o gauge if the levels of m y love for you both are any different . As I realize t o my relief that t hey are even, I probe m y mind to m onitor your emotional current s that st ir m y soul, and how synchronous t hey both seem . Then, I check m y conscience for dichotom y, if any, only to find it is filled with equanimit y. So it feels soot hing that as m y heart scores equal music, you both sing the song of love in tandem ,” he said, holding her in his arm s, as they felt sat iated at length. ‘Raja, give her m ore of your love for she is the better one,” she cried in joy. “ Roopa, now I realise why she loves you as she does and I shall love her all the m ore for that ,” he kissed away her t ears. “ I’m dying for our orgies dear,” she said ecstatically. “ Com e they will be darling,” he said in all assurance. Long aft er Raja Rao had left, Roopa kept wondering whether her urge for orgies could be t he manifestation of her need t o expiat e her guilt in a sex t riangle with her mat es. Chapter 32 Chat at the Bar On the eve of Saroja’ s barasala, Raja Rao’ s clan, including the Thimm aiahs, made it t o Kakinada in drove t hat is not to speak of Sandhya’s relatives. However, as Sathyam arrived only on the appoint ed day, thanking him for coming, Sandhya said that he and Roopa would soon give her an opport unit y for reciprocit y. What with his dorm ant desire com ing to the fore as he took Saroja, Sathyam looked at Roopa in hope. At length, the elaborat e ceremony got underway in t he sprawling hall. “ Christ en her with your ring,” said the purohit to Raja Rao at length, handing him a silver plat e in which he fashioned a rice-slat e. As t hat raised the curtains for the nam ing cerem ony, Raja Rao w ent through the exercise wit h Sandhya by his side wit h their baby in her lap, and even as the purohit announced that Saroja was the chosen name, Sathyam said in excitem ent , “ What a lovely nam e.” “ Thank you, please do stay, I want t o talk to you,” said Sandhya affect ionat ely. Aft er the funct ion, even as Roopa was cloist ered by Hyma and family, closeted w ith Sathyam, Sandhya briefed him about t he idea t o rope in Roopa in Int egral Archit ect s, t he nam e Raja Rao has chosen for t heir ent erprise. “ I take it as a brotherly dut y to concede t o you?” said Sathyam genuinely. “ I’m glad but Roopa was doubt ful,” she said taking his hand. ‘‘I’ ve learned from m y mist ake. Had I obliged her t hen, perhaps, we w ouldn’t have missed what w e had missed all along,” he said ruefully. “ Why rue over the past, let’s hope for happier times,” she said, pressing his hand. “ Now I’m happy as she’s warm ing up to m e,” he said seem ingly happy. “ I heard you’ve been drinking like a fish,” she sounded dissuading. “ But I’m t rying to cut dow n now,” he said. “ Nice to hear that, let’s congratulat e her,” she said leading him t o Roopa. As Roopa was visibly happy at t he developm ent, Sathyam felt as t hough he could shed part of his burden of guilt , and later when Raja Rao said he would like to spend som e tim e wit h him, he proposed a discourse over drinks. ---At t he gat es of the Eagle Bar t hat evening, Sathyam was im pat ient for Raja Rao’s arrival. When he spott ed him at last , he w ent halfway in w elcom e, and as Raja Rao apologized for making him wait, Sat hyam t urned boist erous. “ You’re not lat e but I was early for Bacchus t ends t o beckon his devot ees ahead of others?” said Sathyam , taking Raja Rao’s hand that was ext ended t o him. “ I won’t I grudge his partiality?” said Raja Rao sm iling. “ I’m glad you’re soon joining us, Roopa is delighted to say the least ,” said Sathyam, having in the meanw hile ordered one large Bag Piper each w it h soda for them. “ Generally speaking, m arriage const rains girls’ friendship, but they m ake it an except ion,” said Raja Rao. “ Let’ s t oast their camaraderie?” said Sathyam , raising a glass, as by then the bearer brought then t he drinks. “ Three cheers for them,” said Raja Rao, raising his glass. ‘To be honest, I used to be jealous of t heir closeness but now it feels divine wat ching t hem toget her. But I feel bad that I didn’t have a like childhood,” said Sathyam. ‘Thankfully, I’ve had a great childhood though the mem ory of it is hazy,” said Raja Rao dream ily. “ It seem s happiness loses it s focus in m em ory, even as unhappiness remains vivid in our m inds,” said Sat hyam in all bit t erness. “ Unfort unat ely for m e, I was handed out a bad childhood, what w it h m y father believing in placing it in the at t ic of his experience. What ’s w orse, he didn’t grant m e the freedom of adult hood either. Left to myself, I w ould have been a bet t er child and a less bitter man.” “ But as it appears, t here is no right kind of bringing up children, though there are many w rong ways of spoiling t hem ,” philosophized Raja Rao, as was his wont. “ Having said t hat, I m ight add, the m ediocrit y of m an get s reflect ed in the bringing up of children. You may know , Jean Paul Satre feels that but for a few, m en are m ere fools, and it’s not hard to im agine how such shape up t heir progeny. The problem with m ost parent s is that they t urn their children int o t heir joyous toys. It’s sad they forget t hat t heir kids w ould be bet t er off, if only they’re groom ed t o face the roughs and toughs of life.” “ It ’s every bit t rue; m y fat her all but t reat ed me as his favoured possession. When I w ant ed to st udy engineering at M anipal, he said I was t oo young t o fend for m yself. Oh how he ruined m y career and all! M ind you, I wasn’t a bad st udent at all,” said Sathyam, animated by the discourse. “ I can underst and your feelings, but we can’t grudge our parent s for having failed to com e up t o our expectations. The very fact that t hey hadn’t reduced us to child labor w as in it self a favor. If they chose so, being hapless at t hat age, there was no way w e could have resist ed them in anyway,” continued Raja Rao. “ What ever, my life would’ve been vastly different being an engineer, I’m certain about it ,” said Sathyam, gulping his drink in all bit terness. “ That ’s all about life, full of ifs and but s, isn’t it?” said Raja Rao, sipping t he dregs. “ The irony of it all is that parent s t end to blam e their children for the perceived neglect of them ? Sulking in unwarrant ed bit t erness, they push their children int o the vortex of guilt ,” said Sat hyam . “ If only w e had discussed this aspect of life before Saroja’s birt h,” said Raja Rao, even as Sathyam saw his face lighting up, “ I’m sure, I wouldn’t have had anyt hing m eaningful t o say. But now I can tell you, it ’s we who owe our children for having made us parent s, and t he fulfillm ent that goes with it . M aybe, it ’s this subconscious sense of gratitude t hat tends parent s to fend their children int o adulthood, and beyond and once done, it am ount s t o the full and final set t lem ent of the filial account . That being the case, the question of parent s’ further withdrawals from their children’s account does not arise. Thus, it would be injurious for parent s t o presume that t heir children ow e it to them for having been tended int o their adulthood, as that entails unt enable expectations that presum pt ion occasions.” “ No doubt, it’ s a sound prem ise,” said Sathyam. Then, having hailed for the bearer, Sat hyam , said t o Raja Rao m yst eriously, “ Are you a m oralist by any chance?” “ It ’s the cont ext that holds, isn’t it?” said Raja Rao tentat ively, a lit tle taken aback t hough. “ Say, about the so-called kickbacks,” said Sathyam in an undert one as though the under-table thing owes that from t he world. “ I was never exposed to it s t emptation, so I can’t pass any judgment,” said Raja Rao in relief. “ Oh, come on, don’t be diplomatic,” sm iled Sat hyam . “ Well, if I’ve to take a philosophical view of it , t he insidious corruption harm s the econom y while the incentive bribing bedevils t he societ y. While the kickbacks bankrupt t he nat ion, the bribe m ongers pest er it s people,” said Raja Rao, applying his mind. “ Why don’t you see the positive side of it,” said Sathyam with apparent convict ion. “ Get it right , it’s only in t he Ut opian Republic of Uprightness t hat the nice guys remain st raight and yet st rike it rich. But, left to it, the world we live in warm s up t o the unscrupulous, all the while leaving the decent in t he cold. But in t he Commonw ealth of Corruption, t he resourceful are forced t o part with part of their boot y to bribe seekers. So, corruption places more money in m any more hands, right,” “ What I can say?’ said Raja Rao perplexed by the proposit ion. “ Won’t bribe m oney honey societ y as well?” said Sathyam, pleased with his rhet oric. “ One has only to rem ove his hypocrit ical blinkers and view the social scenario to see t hat. Don’t you find the bribe m oney com ing in handy for the m ult it udes for bet t ering t heir lives and improving their children’s qualificat ions? But , if India were t o be a Republic of Fairness, then w e may have a few accumulating wealth ‘disproportionate to t he calling of luxuries’, even as the rest st ruggle t o m ake bot h ends m eet. Well that w ould have ensured that we had m ore coolies in our count ry than we have professionals t oday.” “ What you say makes food for thought, not t o justify corrupt ion but t o evolve a syst em of equitable grow th,” said Raja Rao apparently impressed. “ Does that m ean you have contem pt for t he corrupt?” said Sathyam, and inexplicably feared Raja Rao’s response. “ What right I have t o judge others since I haven’t gone through it myself? M aybe, one should t ry t o desist from it as far as one could earnestly avoid it. However, it’s the t ruly ambit ious that won’t comprom ise, for they t hink in t erm s of great er glories,” said Raja Rao to Sathyam’s relief. ‘Well said, but what if I confess t hat I’m a corrupt guy?” said Sathyam t entat ively. ‘Set aside m y views, but what’ s the matt er with you?” asked Raja Rao a lit tle surprised. “ M y friend, sincerit y could occasionally fetch an accolade or t wo at the office that anyway won’t accrue to the pay cheque. It’s the fast buck t hat count s t hese days, and w ithout being down to eart h, you can’t m ake any. Six years of honest y left me hand-t omout h, but three m ont hs of worldliness, call it dishonest y if you must , got m e all those goodies you might have not iced in m y place. That was during your last visit, when I was out of t ow n,” said Sathyam spiritedly. “ All said and done how your wife takes it?” asked Raja Rao. “ In many ways, Roopa is very unfem inine,” began Sathyam , and finding Raja Rao looking at him in surprise, he added. “ Let me explain. Haven’ t you found her lacking in vanit y, jealousy, and curiosit y in true fem inine m easures? That being the case, can’t you guess w hat m ight be her philosophy of life about bribe monies? She’s dead against this greasing of the palm s m ess, or lining the pocket chore, as som e would call it . Anyway, it ’s all one and the sam e, isn’t it? How ever, as she won’t poke her nose into m y finances, I’m not hard pressed t o explain the source of m y new life-st yle t o her. Haven’t you heard the jargon of the incom e tax wallahs, asset s disproport ionat e to t he known sources of incom e? Let them cat ch m e if they can. By the way, your wife whom I made m y rakhi sist er is also unfeminine that way, though she’ s m ore pragm atic t han m y wife. Above all, Sandhya is an angel really.” “ I’m glad you value m y wife as w ell,” said Raja Rao ext ending his hand to Sathyam, “ Honestly, I think very highly of your wife also.” “ I see that my wife idolizes you but I’m not jealous as I too have com e to adm ire you,” said Sathyam a lit tle high by t hen. “ Thank you for your goodness, but as Roopa is a cont ent ed charact er, why do you w ant t o acquire what she doesn’t value?” said Raja Rao as if he was imploring Sathyam t o change tack. “ That’ s a good quest ion and I’ll answ er you frankly, anyway, keeping secret s is not t he right way to prom ot e friendship. Though you haven’t m et Prasad, surely you could have heard about him, haven’t you?” said Sathyam “ Sandhya t old me about him ,” said Raja Rao, thinking about how he alm ost lost Roopa to him . “ I don’t know what Roopa told Sandhya about him, but that’ s beside the point ,’ said Sathyam, gulping all that there was in his glass, as a prelude to empt ying his heart . “ We w ere quit e t hick during our childhood days. When I m et him t his January, that t oo aft er fift een years, I believed w e could pick up the threads of our friendship all again. But, as I cam e t o know lat er, in the guise of our friendship, he want ed t o get closer t o m y wife. You may know t hat w hile I was a first ranker at school, he used to just scrape through, t hat t oo with m y help. Well, when the topic was about studies, he never looked at m e st raight. Im agine such a fellow eyeing m y w ife!” Finding Raja Rao’s dem eanor em pat hic, Sathyam continued after he ordered a fresh round of drinks for them , “ Do you know what brought about t his change in him? What else m an, money, plenty of it? Why, he was lucky to marry a rich dam e, and so he thought it fit to lure the w ives of t he have-nots int o his grip perceiving them as a sort of whores in t heir own hom es. All the sam e, gullible that t hey are, how these silly w om en lose their heads if w ooed by the m oneyed. But I’m proud of Roopa, for she proved her wort h, though that rascal t ried his best .” “ I’m happy for both of you,” said Raja Rao, hiding his mixed feelings. “ Earlier a m an’s w orth went by his talent ,” Sathyam continued spirit edly. “ That was all t here was to it . Take a pot ter, if he made a pot right , he got the price, and if it were misshapen, then it’ s a discount sale. Were it to leak alt ogether, w ell that was that. But t hese days, even a bad pot t er with money can make money by hiring some good pot t ers. So never mind, your own capacit y may be of questionable qualit y yet, if you have m oney, you can hire the best of talent , and as they pool t heir skills you can fill your kit ty. That is besides basking in false glory as a whiz kid of sort s, isn’t it ? It’s thus, now money is the only resource needed to make m ore of it and no one is going to ask you how you got it and where from . That ’s t he reality.” ‘I can understand your hurt , but t hen, m ore or less, it had always been like that. Didn’t Shakespeare aver that reputat ion is t he most idle and false im position, oft en got w ithout m erit , and lost without deserving?” said Raja Rao, m oved by Sat hyam ’s int ensit y. “ But how sad it is, isn’t it galling that t hese guys go about seducing the w omen of the honest , flaunting the m oney so made. Com ing t o t his scoundrel of a friend, having vouched for a brotherly affection t owards Roopa, he eyed her in a m ean manner. Can it get any worse, m orally speaking that is? As you know, even Ravan didn’t st oop so low in snaring Seetha,” said Sat hyam , drinking t o the dregs. “ I fully agree with you, seducing a wom an is one thing and deceiving the friend is anot her. Are w e through now?” said Raja Rao, driven by his own convict ion. “ Let’ s have one m ore round,” proposed Sathyam , as the wait er cam e around, and as Raja Rao excused him self, he ordered one large for him self. “ But you know , thanks to my wife I’ ve had the last laugh at him,” said Sathyam wit h an air of satisfact ion. “ When in t he end, she exposed him to m e; I took him to task really. This is what I told him - m y dear fellow, money and looks are Ok t o an extent t o lure wom en, but bet t er realise that it ’s the luck that enables one to lay them . Why, you can’t even screw a whore if you’ re not dest ined to have her for your visit to the brothel w ould’ve coincided with her periods, and t he next tim e you’re eager, she could’ve shift ed out of the t own it self. That’s what I told him .” “ Oh, how t rue,” said Raja Rao, even as he recalled that Ganga-Kaveri girl. “ Now I’ll t ell you why I want to get rich, in double quick tim e that is,” said Sathyam, gulping from his glass. “ I don’t want som eone like Prasad ever ogle Roopa in the hope of w inning her, sim ply because she’s a poor man’s wife. I want t o m ake her rich so t hat she can keep the lechers all at bay. You don’t know how I love her. How can you, when she herself fails to delve int o m y heart .” “ Honestly, one can’t hope to be fully underst ood, even by t he spouse,” said Raja Rao enigm atically. “ M aybe, but I adore her and crave for her love,” said Sat hyam , as he lost all his inhibitions by then. “ To be frank with you, our marriage was st ym ied from the beginning as she was unenthusiastic about me. M aybe, she could have felt she deserved som eone bett er than m e, and how can I blam e her for that , as she certainly deserves a superman, if t here’s one. If you don’t mind my being boast ful, I was a philanderer m yself but that is beside t he point and coming back to my w ife, she’s a fantast ic dame. But all said and done, I’m sure no one can ever love her more than I do. Well, the song from the film Ghazal captures the poignancy of my situation - Naively thought I’ve the right to love, t he one you love, hath right on you.” “ But you haven’t com pleted the st anza - Why not t ell whom you love, so that I can fet ch him now,” said Raja Rao. “ It ’s in the realm s of poetic imaginat ion but how it can be a pract ical proposition, and t o be fair to m y w ife, she is a faithful one,” said Sat hyam . ‘In som e heart s like Sandhya’s, love would reach such poetic proport ions,’ thought Raja Rao, and at that, he was gripped by an urge to be with her. ‘They may be expect ing us; bet t er we get m oving,” said Raja Rao, goading Sat hyam t o rise. “ Tell m e frankly, what you make of m e?” said Sathyam, as they cam e out . ‘Honestly, I wish I had your capacity to love,” said Raja Rao, hugging Sat hyam . “ I’ll cherish your w ords all m y life,” said Sathyam, as Raja Rao released him . ‘How com e Roopa inspires so much love and passion in m en and devot ion in w omen as well. Isn’t Tara too fond of her?’ wondered Raja Rao as he headed hom e. Buoyed by that sentim ent, Sathyam reached hom e excit ed, and in all pride, made Roopa privy to Raja Rao’s praises. At that, she reflect ed upon how her lover’s em pathy for her gave rise t o his sympathy for her husband without realizing that the glare of her paramour’s goodwill blinded her man’s vision to gaze at her liaison. Chapter 33 Amour on Rein On that vijayadasami, during October, the lane leading to the office of the Int egral Archit ect s Pvt . Ltd., in Himayatnagar, was lined up with assort ed vehicles of those who cam e to grace the inaugural function. While Roopa, in her grey Binny silk sari, was at the ent rance welcom ing the invit ees w ith her bewit ching sm ile, Raja Rao in brown corduroys and whit e T-shirt was ensuring t hat all w ere seat ed, as they ent ered. Handling the refreshm ents were Aslam, the draft er and Narasaiah, the daft ari. As if t o capture the mom ent for the post erit y, Sathyam was busy clicking away with his new Canon, but suckling Saroja, Sandhya in her Gadwal sari was bogged down in t he ant eroom for long. In that set ting, as the m uhurtham for the inauguration approached, Raja Rao w ent up t o Sandhya to fet ch her for t he vighneswara pooja, but seeing her put ting the baby t o sleep on the divan, he signaled her to hurry-up. Soon, as Sandhya cam e out , the couple w ent through the rituals w ith Roopa in at t endance, and after the prasadam was dist ributed among the gat hering, Raja Rao took t he floor. Having t hanked those present for gracing the occasion, he wished those haven’t t urned up t ill then would be joining soon. Reading out their resum e, he int roduced his part ners in t urn, and said in jest t hat he was sandw iched bet ween Sandhya, the malikin at the house and Roopa, the boss at the office. That is why, he claim ed, Int egral Archit ect s could be expected to be equally com pet ent in handling hom es as well as offices. In Aslam , he said, he found a competent draft er and t hat Narasaiah was duty personified. It’s t hus; he hoped that their young t eam would com e up t o the expectat ions of their est eem ed clientele. At t he auspicious tim e, Ranga Reddy was accorded the honour to unveil the nam eplat e, sym bolizing t he inauguration of t he ent erprise. When request ed, Subba Reddy gladly put t he drafting table t o use, as a mark of comm encem ent of t he operations. Ranga Reddy, in his address, recalled how he was impressed with Raja Rao when they first m et, and said it was his confidence in his com pet ence that t urned him int o a realt or. So, he hoped that his Build Well Ltd. and Integral Archit ect s would combine t o cont ribut e to the larger growth of Hyderabad. Subba Reddy, who followed him , said t hat he was a m an of few words, and the t wo words he has for Raja Rao are - Account Transferred. At length, leaving t he st aff and Sat hyam behind w ith the core group, everyone, one by one, had left after refreshm ent s. Thereaft er, Roopa assist ed Aslam to move the drafting table by the w indow , even as Narasaiah began to clear the rubbish. How ever, Sandhya t ried t o pacify Saroja, who had woken up by then and Sat hyam w ent to M ahaveer Studio w it h the exposed film rolls. Shortly, t o Roopa’ s delight , Tara show ed up. “ Lust y congrat s,” whispered Tara into Roopa’s ears, handing her a large bouquet . “ I ow e it t o her,” said Roopa passing it on t o Sandhya. “ And I do to him !” Sandhya, holding Saroja, gave it to Raja Rao. “ How handsom e,” said Tara. “ Thanks for com ing,” said Raja Rao. “ I’m happy that Roopa is in the deserving com pany,” said Tara. “ Aided by your goodw ill that is,” he said as Roopa t old him about Tara’s rescue act. “ Is there any vacancy for m e?” said Tara smilingly, looking around. “ We’ve t o grow manifold t o absorb you,” he said smilingly. “ I wish you Godspeed for that ,” said Tara, ext ending her hand to him . “ Thank you,” he said taking it . “ Let m e show you t he place,“ said Roopa whisking Tara away. “ Why are you so insecure?” whispered Tara, follow ing Roopa. “ Aren’t you a femm e fatale,” said Roopa in jest . “ Not of your grade though,” said Tara, taking Roopa’s hand. “ I’m glad your patience has paid off.” “ Thanks to your t im ely help,” said Roopa rem iniscently. When Tara ent ered the ant eroom, Roopa st ood embarrassed at t he threshold. “ It ’s suitable,” winked Tara, lying on the divan. “ You’re im possible,” sm iled Roopa. “ When’ s the lunch break?” Tara w inked at Roopa. “ Oh, you,” said Roopa in all coyness. “ Where’ s the ‘Don’t Dist urb’ board?” said Tara, mock-searching underneath the divan. “ It ’s on the way,” said Roopa in jest, and put Tara back into circulat ion. As Tara got up t o leave in tim e, said Sandhya to her, “ Do drop in whenever you’re free,” said Sandhya. ‘With Roopa’s permission,” said Tara, squeezing Roopa’s hand. “ Not for forcing your way,” said Roopa half in jest . The next day, during t he lunch hour, with Alsam having gone to his nearby hom e, and Narasaiah out on an errand, as Raja Rao led Roopa into the ant e-room , she turned apprehensive, though she looked forward to t he opportunity with all her craving. “ It could be risky,” she said. “ Still it’s worth at any cost ,” he said, pulling her int o his lap. “ Why no bolst er?” she said st ret ching herself on the divan. “ With your chignon, I thought you won’t need any,” he said lying by her side. “ Sandhya too says it suit s m e fine,” she said, eagerly pushing his head on to her breast. ‘Glad w e’ve a place for us,” he said, unbut toning her blouse. ‘A hom ely office but what if Sandhya scent s our hom iness?” she said naughtily. “ That ’s what w e want,” he said smiling, leading her on t he amorous path of their fulfillment . ‘A married wom an might enjoy her dom ineering role over her man but it ’s her subm issiveness t o her paramour that affords her the joy of surrender. So, won’t that make a liaison a singular affair?’ thought Roopa, as they cam e out of t he ant e-room at length. In tim e, everyt hing fell int o a groove at the office and in their hom es as well. As Sandhya hired an ayah to assist her in coping up w ith Saroja, Raja Rao would ride to the office on his Bullet with Sandhya at nine, leaving behind Saroja at hom e. Roopa, aft er seeing off Sathyam w ith the lunch-box, would walk down t o t he office in t ime. Aslam and Narasaiah would report for duty on tim e, for Raja Rao was a st ickler for t ime. While Aslam was always found root ed to his draft ing table, Narasaiah, for the m ost part, was out on errands. So to feed Saroja, Sandhya would head hom e at sharp eleven, and at the st roke of one, she reaches the office with lunch-box for the three of them . Aslam , how ever, was w ont to leave a lit tle early for his namaz, on his w ay hom e for lunch. Having savoured t he m eal with her m an and her mat e, Sandhya would leave the office by one-thirt y, to be at hom e to suckle Saroja. Raja Rao w ould schedule his meet ings to ensure his lunchtime presence for lovemaking in the office. While it was back to w ork for the rest of them by t wo-thirt y, Sandhya, after siesta, would com e back at three-thirty. The synchronous harm ony of t heir lifest yle enabled the couple and their lover live in ecst atic fulfillment . -----While t he work at the office gripped Roopa, the weight she cam e to wield t here but t ressed her self-worth. Aft er all, Raja Rao cam e to depend on her for she readily picked up the work w ith her quick grasp. Besides at t ending t o the office account s, she helped him at st ructural calculations as w ell. As t hough t o prove that she shared his passion for const ruction, she t raced the building plans that he had conceived. Indeed, she was heady with life. It was in the m idst of such a tim e, which Raja Rao called honey t im e that he had to go t o M adras for a week. At that , m issing Raja Rao’s passion, Roopa felt as if she w ere left in the cold, in spit e of her physical int im acy with Sat hyam , not to speak of her lesbian t im e with Sandhya. So, it didn’t take long for her to realize how her own fulfillm ent cam e to be pinned upon Raja Rao, and by t he time he returned, she was mad and eager. But as luck would have it, the day he returned, Sandhya, to the lovers’ consternat ion, brought them lunch in tow with Saroja. When Sandhya revealed that t he ayah had gone t o the mat inee with a friend of hers who cam e from Khamm am , they felt let down and in tim e, with Sandhya around, t he dismay of the vexed lovers began to vent itself in varied ways. So it didn’t take long for Sandhya to notice that Raja Rao turned irritable w hile Roopa remained morose. “ What ’s w rong lovey?’ she asked Roopa. “ Why, not hing,” replied Roopa. Seeing Raja Rao berate Aslam on a t rivial issue, Sandhya t ried to calm him dow n. “ What ’s troubling you aft er having bagged such a prestigious cont ract?” Sandhya said. “ Oh, I’m sorry,” he said. ‘Is it a m ere coincidence that both of them are off color at t he sam e tim e?’ contem plat ed Sandhya. ‘Isn’ t it clear that som ething is t roubling t hem both? What it could be? Are they in love and in heat as well? Surely they’re having sex during lunchtime but my untim ely presence, on top of a w eek’s abst inence, is w eighing on t hem . So, they’ve made it t o t he post sooner than I expect ed; w hy not I have a dig at t hem then?’ “ Lovey, have you encashed it ?” Sandhya whispered in her m at e’s ears. “ What ?” said Roopa. “ The blank cheque I gave you,” said Sandhya, t easingly. “ I don’t get you dear,” said Roopa confusedly. “ Wait for his next w ithdrawal,” said Sandhya sm ilingly, and went up t o Raja Rao, leaving a perplexed Roopa behind. “ I know why you’ re out of sort s,” she said leaning on him . “ Don’t be silly,” he said in irritation. “ Sorry for your m iss,” said Sandhya. “ What do you m ean?” he said gett ing subdued. “ Out of the right slot one goes out of sort s, right,” said Sandhya m yst eriously. “ Oh, m y lovely litt le genius, why don’t you w rite a thesis on that?” he said m anaging a sm ile, “ Why not if Roopa is it s co-author?” she said sm ilingly. While Roopa’s wanting remained unfulfilled for t he day, Sandhya’s romanticism ensured Raja Rao’ s fulfillm ent that night ; and the next day, as the eager lovers cam e out of the ant e-room , they felt as if they had sex for the first tim e in t heir life. How ever, a few days later, at the sound of t he buzzer, fearing exposure, they were benumbed in their lovem aking. “ What t o do?” Roopa whispered, instinctively covering herself. “ Let’ s not respond,” he said in undertone. “ What if it’s Sandhya?” she said, worried. “ I’ll see,” he said get t ing dressed hurriedly. When he returned relieved, she was part ially dressed. “ Thank God, I escaped t he quarantine,” she said in relief but added in apprehension, “ I’m afraid we may not be lucky next tim e.” “ And t here’s the M urphy’s Law to back your fears,” he sm iled. “ It ’s no laughing matt er; if it is Sathyam , it’ s death, and if it were Sandhya, it’s sham e t hough she seem s to have guessed it,” she said nervously. “ So, it ’s t im e w e seduce her int o a threesom e,” he said thought fully. “ How I would love that day, nay, t hat night,” she said, as she hugged him in hope. How ever, as the buzzer never sounded again during their escapades, their fear of exposure was evaporat ed in the heat of t heir passion and so the urgency t o rope in Sandhya into their orgies receded. Soon, as t he business improved, Raja Rao was gett ing bogged down at the office unt il seven, however, freeing his wom en by five. Back at Sandhya’s place, the m at es were w ont t o m elt in each other’s arm s. In their lesbianism , even as the feeling t hat her man was also enjoying her lover gave t he cut ting edge t o Sandhya’s amour, Roopa was eager with her ardour to augm ent her lover’s pleasure w ith her mat e lat er. Thus as their fondness for their man grew , they w ere ever closer with each other in t heir lesbian dom ain and since Sathyam too was keeping lat e hours at t he Secretariat, the mat es began to keep them selves in t heir arm s for longer hours. “ M y lovey, what a life!” rest ing in Roopa’s lap, said Sandhya that evening. “ A love filled one,” said Roopa, fondling Sandhya’s breast s. “ Yet with yearning,” said Sandhya, winking at Roopa. At that, having looked int o Sandhya’ s eyes intently, Roopa buried her head into her mat e’s bosom endearingly. “ Take it easy,” said Sandhya in all sm iles, m oving her finger m eaningfully in Roopa’s erot ic essence. “ M ake it hard now,” said Roopa in ecstasy. Also, the affection Roopa felt for Saroja catered to her innate sense of womanly want and fondling t he baby, she experienced a motherly fulfillm ent as well. Whenever Saroja sm iled in her lap, want ing to m other her sibling subconsciously, Roopa felt spasm s in her wom b. The mood at the office too was upbeat for them all. Even as Ranga Reddy’s am bit ious vent ures w ere rising to the skies one by one, Subba Reddy’s new cont ract s w ere wearing the draft ing table a lit tle bit more. New client s too were t rooping in, making Raja Rao think in t erm s of expansion. Thanks to the w ord of m outh, Sandhya too w as busy w it h the decor of the posh bungalow s of Banjara Hills. And all that made it a dance and dinner in Roopa’s life. ----That evening, as they w ere calling it day at Int egral Archit ects, Narasaiah brought the disturbing new s of a communal commotion in the old city. The walled cit y of Hyderabad, on the banks of the M usi, built in the 16th Century by Quli Qutub Shah around the Charm inar, is a predominant ly M uslim populat ed part of t he m odern m et ropolis. As the legend has it, Shah built t he place t o commem orate his love for Bhagm athi, his Hindu beloved, and nam ed it Bhagyanagar. M anned for m ost part by the M uslim s, His Court felt that a Hindu nam e for a M uslim capital would be a misnomer, and thus proclaim ed it as Hyderabad for t he post erit y. Ironically, as history w itnessed, t he Hindu m ind and the M uslim psyche failed to fuse with t he spirit of love t hat brought the place into being. Inst ead, they preferred to imbibe the theory of the Court that the Hindu charact er and t he M uslim identit y are t hings apart . “ They say som e pork was t hrow n int o t he M ecca M asjid, and the M uslim s suspect a Hindu hand behind the defilem ent,” report ed Narasaiah. “ That might spell t rouble aft er all but why do t hey provoke t he M uslim sentim ent at all?” said a worried Aslam. ‘ “ The fact , that t he m ere presence of pork in a mosque or beef in a t emple could t rigger a com munal riot in our count ry speaks for it self,” articulat ed Raja Rao. “ There’s no denying t hat it hurt s the hyper-religious both ways, and it’ s precisely for t hat reason t hat t he mischief m ongers from both the communities resort to such acts. If w e allow such symbolic hurt to t rigger a communal riot, it’s like walking into t he t rap laid by the cunning con men or the religious zealot s. Everyone know s t hat t he silent majorit y is peace loving and law abiding; not that they are spiritually enlight ened or religiously t olerant. It’s just that all realize that orderliness serves t heir self-int erest t he best . But , t hanks t o t he m achinations of the m ischievous few, all get engulfed in t he com munal frenzy. Regrettably, the politicians too developed a proclivit y to fan religious passions to creat e vot e banks for t hem selves.” “ What ’s t he way out then?” asked Sandhya. “ Oh, there seem s t o be none really,” articulat ed Raja Rao. “ But comm on sense might help one t o reach out to others across t he boundaries of religious biases. Let’ s take the present incident . Even assum ing that it ’s the handiw ork of a couple of Hindus, can one say that all the Hindus of the city are behind it? But for all that, it could as w ell be the handiwork of a dem ent ed M uslim . The M uslim s m ight rightly be out raged by the sacrilege, but won’t the Hindus them selves be wary about the tast eless deed? Instead of get ting at each ot her’s throat s, w on’t it make sense for all, to collectively voice their comm on const ernation? If only we could do t hat, the m iscreant s from both the comm unit ies w ould realize that there’s no m ischievous ground left for them t o fom ent t rouble.” “ But who’s to take the lead?” asked Aslam . “ Who else but the middle-class as the pigheaded religious heads have failed the masses? Part ly, t he problem lies in t he t endency of those that t end t o give a public face t o their privat e fait h, and t hat makes the others suspicious about their religious int ent ions and personal inclinat ions,” said Raja Rao. “ Is it to suggest t hat t he M uslim s should desert t heir m osques?” asked Aslam. “ Who says that, but all should downplay the manifestations of their faith in the public arena at least . M aybe, m ore than the others, t he M uslim s need to do a lot m ore social re-engineering for their own good,” said Raja Rao. “ We, M uslim s believe t hat there is but one God, so w e can’t religiously relat e to the Hindus who worship at the altars of so many gods, and that ’s the source of the discord t o begin with, som ething like an ideological dispute,” said Aslam . “ If that’s t he case, the Christians t oo believe t hat one God, yet there were those crusades against the M uslim s,” said Raja Rao. “ But then, how can God be one, when all religions have their own ones! As for the Gods in our religion, I w ould say without m eaning any offence to other faiths, t here’s no cont radiction in that . As t he modern organizat ion has evolved round departm ent heads, it seem s t o m e that our sanat ana dhrm a concept ualized various gods and goddesses for specific functions governing the Hindu dest iny.” “ But it’s the Hindu idolat ry t hat is at odds w ith Islam,” comm ent ed Aslam . “ Well, religion is an em ot ion peculiar t o t he hum ans, the sensit ivity of which increases in the face of criticism from those of the other faiths,” said Raja Rao. “ We, Hindus, feel incensed when others tend t o reduce us to idol worshippers even as the essence of our Hindu dharma is aham brahm asmi brahma - God is but the self of man. Where is t he quest ion of idol worship when our bow ing before our deities is only a sym bolism of our subm ission to the paramat ma , t hat is, Him? How ever, being ignorant of this Hindu nuance of our devot ional ethos, those professing the Sem it ic faiths naively t ake it as idol worship.” “ M oreover, our deit ies im part form to the god we seek solace from , and thus help us st ay focused in our prayer t o Him ,” continued Raja Rao. “ By way of an exam ple, we can all recall t he features of our beloved ones in their absence, yet it ’s only when we look at t heir pictures that our emot ions for t hem get focused in our minds. It’s tim e others realise that what they m isconst rue as idol worship is but a Hindu way of concent rating on God in their worship as w ell as in their prayers. Besides, w e Hindus need dist inct ive im ages t o envision our concept of God’s avatars but all t he sam e, hasn’t the so called idolat ry insensibly seeped into the religious ethos of the Christ ianit y and Islam as w ell? Won’t t hat prove, if proof w ere ever needed, t hat when it com es to spirit ualit y, im agery com es naturally t o man, and anyt hing cont rary, be it religious or be it ideological, is the pret ence of the protagonist s.” “ Given t he realit y of human emotions, religious tolerance seem s a m irage aft er all,” opined Roopa. “ M isplaced zeal for one’s fait h and uncalled for bias against the other religions has been the bane of t he humans,” said Raja Rao. “ It should be underst ood that no one can em otionally feel about a religion ot her than his own, and only in t he realization this t ruth lies the m ant ra of religious t olerance. Having said that , m y int ellectual perception of Hinduism and Islam is this: Hinduism is the m ost abst ract of all religions, to com prehend which one needs a certain level of intellect , not com mon t o t he masses, w hich, at once proved to be it s st rength as well as its w eakness. It ’s t he very charact er of their philosophy that enables the Hindus to t ry to underst and the atm a , that is, the self. And this Hindu endeavor t o understand the self brought about the evolut ion of a t hought process of the highest order ever achieved by the humanity at large. On the other hand, the Aryan intellectual apartheid pushed t he Hindu masses into abject ignorance, not to speak of povert y.” “ Islam , on the other hand, is supposed to be a concise creed without any scope for am biguity,” cont inued Raja Rao, “ It ’s as though t he faith was fashioned keeping in m ind t he int ellectual lim itations of the m ass of it s adherent s. M aybe, t his clarity coupled with t he egalitarian, though sectarian, concept of it s t eachings could have led to the conversion of t hose Indian masses w ho were either unable to comprehend the precept s of the Hindu dharma or those oppressed by the social prejudices of the caste order. But at the same t im e, this very virtue of definit iveness of Islam precludes any philosophical discourse about life, making it fundamentalist in its precept as w ell as it s practice.” “ What do you think of Christianity?” Narasaiah, a Christ ian convert , asked Raja Rao. ‘To m y m ind, going by the progress m ade by it s followers in shedding it s dogmat ic shackles, it’s the m ost dynam ic of all dispensat ions, though it s core remains fundam entalist . But it s undue emphasis on sin as the fulcrum of the faith is indeed int riguing,” said Raja Rao. “ All religionists claim their religions preach peace, yet what governs the world is st rife,” said Sandhya. “ That ’s t he paradox of the fait hs,” said Raja Rao in exasperation. “ While one wails over t he death of a co-religionist in a riot, the same person is indifferent to the slaught er of scores from the other com munity! But w ill it be a consolation for a w oman who lost her man that a dozen from t he other fait h w ere widow ed as w ell, in the sam e comm ot ion? Why would ever wounds differentiat e human bodies on religious lines t o heal them selves? What else is religious st rife but human st upidity?” “ Inshah Allah , let it subside w ithout further trouble,” said Aslam . What an irony that modern man, engaged as he is in the pursuit of know ledge, allows him self to be st ymied by the dogmas of the Dark Ages, perpet rated as religious t enet s. Chapter 34 Surge of a M erge When the curfew was lift ed in the walled city across t he M usi, it did seem t hat sanity w as restored in the excit ed souls. However, even as the Hyderabadis began to vent ure t entat ively t o get back to their rout ine, the cit y was st ill tense in the emotional sense. By two that aft ernoon, Raja Rao left for the Wahab Builders, in t he bazaar near the Charm inar, synonym ous with the count ry’s pearl t rade. As Aslam availed a casual leave t hat day, and since one of the client s was pressing for the blue print , Roopa subst it uted as the draft er. As usual, Narasaiah was yet to ret urn from an errand. “ Integral Archit ect s,” Roopa answered t he t elephone call at three. “ It is Wahab calling t ell Rao Saab not to venture here.” “ But he already left at t wo,” said Roopa trembling. “ Inshah Allah, he didn’t cross t he M usi,” said Wahab. “ What ’s t he mat ter?” she said. “ It s com munal riot s all over,” said Wahab. “ Oh God, call us aft er he reaches,” said Roopa almost inaudibly. “ Surely m a’am ,” Wahab hung up hurriedly. Returning to w ork then and finding Roopa pixilat ed, Sandhya becam e perplexed. “ What ’s t he mat ter lovey?” Sandhya asked Roopa concernedly. “ Wahab rang up, saying t he old city is in turm oil,” Roopa m ut t ered incoherently “ Oh, Raja was supposed t o go Wahab’s office,” said Sandhya concernedly. “ He hasn’t reached there yet,” said Roopa, with t ears flowing down her cheeks. “ Oh, God, If he’s harm ed, I would die,” Sandhya sw ooned into Roopa’s arm s. “ So would I, that’ s for sure,” blurted out Roopa, as they wet t ed each other’s shoulders. “ Don’t I know that , lovey, hope God saves him for bot h of us,” said Sandhya wiping Roopa’s t ears. Unable t o bear her anxiety as Sandhya sank into a chair, Roopa rushed to the phone t o ring up Ranga Reddy, and relieved a lit tle after t alking t o him, she told her t hat he prom ised to find out their m an’s whereabout s. However, seeing Sandhya in shock, Roopa cuddled her in silence, but driven by her own anxiety, every now and then, she got up to ring up som eone or the other, seeking their help to locat e Raja Rao. But Roopa’s updat es such as, ‘Subba Reddy has gone t o Bangalore’, ‘Ranga Reddy went to t he Police Control Room ’ seem ed t o fall on Sandhya’s deaf ears. In t im e, exhaust ed by anxiety, and worn by despair, when Roopa herself dragged anot her chair to be near Sandhya, they found them selves locking t heir arm s and staring at each other, draw ing com fort from one another though w ithout a word. At last when t he t elephone rang at four-t hirt y, Sandhya sprang up to her feet , but panicked to pick up t he call, “ Sandhya here,” she said nervously, having lift ed the receiver on the t hird ring. “ Rao garu is injured but is quit e safe,” said Ranga Reddy. “ Thank God, where is he now ?” said Sandhya wit h relief, as Roopa rushed t o her in delight. As Roopa shoved her ear to t he receiver, sym bolizing the harm ony of t heir love for t heir man, Sandhya shared it w ith her. “ He’s at t he OGH, I’ll pick you up from your house around six aft er arranging curfew passes for you,” Ranga Reddy. “ Please arrange one for Roopa as well,” said Sandhya. At that, aft er she hung up his phone, as Roopa fell at her feet , Sandhya took her t o int o her embrace and said, “ Don’t you know that your place is in our hearts?” “ Oh lovey, but didn’t I t ell you that he w ould be fine?” said Roopa overw helm ed. “ Why did you w orry t hen?” said a relieved Sandhya in sm ile. Roopa rest ed her relieved head on Sandhya’s heaving bosom for an answer. “ So,” Sandhya pat ted Roopa’s head. “ Can’t you forgive me,” said Roopa, w et ting Sandhya’ s blouse. “ Don’t t ry to be sm art ; t ell m e t he whole story, and then I’ll see,” said Sandhya t easing Roopa, w hile fondling her lovingly. “ I’m sorry,” said Roopa, alm ost inaudibly. “ I just couldn’t help it . I loved him the mom ent I saw him , and t ried my best to rest rain m yself. But the m ore I t ried to suppress m y fascination for him , the more I was drawn to him . I felt so m iserable loving him that I w ished I were dead. I becam e so insane in m y longing for him that I lost all m y sense of belonging to you. Blinded by m y love, m y conscience too failed m e, and I didn’t feel guilt y, though you’ ve t rust ed m e.” “ Oh, lovey, why did you suffer at all, you should’ve told m e?” said Sandhya, m oved herself. “ I just couldn’t bring m yself to it,” said Roopa, hugging Sandhya endearingly. “ Tell m e; how am I to t ell you that I was covet ing your m an? I always knew he too was att ract ed by me, but t hen, love is a different thing. Just t he sam e, I was living in the hope of being loved by him . Then came a t im e, w hen I felt that I was doom ed by m y unrequited love for him . But then, dest iny seem ingly dragged him into m y longing arm s. As you know, t riggered by your let t er of concern for m e, he cam e to see m e t his August . Then, as Sathyam too was away, I could hold no m ore, and overwhelm ed him with all m y love and longing. Being his very own wom an, you would underst and what he could have given me in ret urn for my overriding passion for him . Oh, how nice it feels t hat I t oo have som e place in his heart, occupied for the m ost part by you. But, if at any tim e, should m y presence in our love t riangle irk you, I would withdraw from it without a murm ur for even then, I can live on, mast icating t he m emories of his love and passion for m e. Oh, won’t all that last for a life t ime and more.” “ M y lovey, how lovely, how I w ish I w ere in your place. But it didn’t take m e long t o realize that you loved each other, and w on’t be able to resist your urge for long. When I sensed that you’re get t ing closer, I looked the other way, t o let you experience the t hrills of love in the making. Sadly, som ehow , it never occurred to m e t hat you were suffering so much pining for him , and if only I knew , I w ould’ve m yself facilitat ed your union so long back,” said Sandhya endearingly. “ Oh, you’re an angel, really,” said Roopa kissing her. “ But having made it , why haven’t you told m e, even though I prompted you oft en enough? Don’t you recall t he ‘blank cheque’ episode and that ‘take it easy’ tease?” said Sandhya patt ing Roopa’s head. “ How could I’ve m issed those and m ore,” said Roopa scrat ching her head mischievously, and added on a serious not e. “ I want ed to t ell you as he was m aking love t o m e for the first tim e, but he feared t hat a premature disclosure would hurt you no end. Then as you w ere forthright at t he time of Saroja’s barasala, as I wanted t o confess t o you, but he rest rained m e saying t hat w e should wait t ill you get adapted t o the idea of our threesom e to make it easy for you.” “ Handsom e,” said Sandhya pleased t hat both of them care for her sensitivities. “ Reward him in our threesom e,” said Roopa, winking at Sandhya. Reaching home and fantasizing t he presence of t heir m an, the mates took their lesbian love to the frontiers of ecstatic bliss, before Ranga Reddy cam e t o pick t hem up as promised. “ How I totally forgot about him !” said Roopa, when Sandhya rem em bered Sathyam aft er she ent rusted Saroja to the ayah’s care. “ In the t riangular m oment of our life, where’s a corner left for any?” Sandhya w hispered into Roopa’s ear m irthfully. “ But our man want s m e to accom modat e m y m an in m y corner,” said Roopa. “ Really, what a man we have for us, lovey, how different he is from all ot her m en. Won’t a paramour tend to w ean the w ife away from her man? Now, I see why Sathyam is so happy,” said Sandhya in delight . “ That ’s why lovey I don’ t suffer any qualm s on Sathyam’s account,” said Roopa. “ Oh, how st range is your love t wain? While our affair lift s m y soul, your liaison w ith m y man, enables your m an breathe easy,” said Sandhya in cont emplat ion. When Ranga Reddy arrived at length, not finding Sathyam at hom e, they left a m essage for him with Lalitha, and set out to see their man in t he new dawn of their love life. In t ime, when they reached the Osm ania General Hospital, they found Raja Rao, still unconscious. “ You’re lucky really, though the injury was m inor, it was st ill critical,” said Dr. Wazir Ahm ed t o them . ‘Doct or Saab, w e’re indebt ed to you,” said Sandhya, taking Dr. Wazir Ahm ed’ s hand. “ Thank you, but we only did our dut y,” said the doct or graciously. “ Can w e shift him t o the Gaganmahal Nursing Hom e, near their hom e?” enquired Ranga Reddy. “ M aybe t omorrow , let’s see,” said the good doct or. “ You know I need Roopa now, please ask Sathyam to take care of Saroja though the ayah is a reliable one,” said Sandhya to Ranga Reddy. “ Don’t worry about Saroja,” said Ranga Reddy. “ Please seek Sathyam’s ex post fact o sanction for m y absence,” said Roopa to Ranga Reddy, as an afterthought. Aft er his syst em had shed t he anesthet ic effect towards eleven that night , Raja Rao regained his consciousness. Seeing both his w om en, on either side, he involuntarily st ret ched his hands t owards them , which seem ed to t hem as if to bring about a rapprochem ent betw een them. Grabbing his hands in unison as they warm ed t hem with t heir t ears, he felt gratified as both of them showered kisses as w ell on them . “ Don’t you forgive us,” he mut t ered t o Sandhya, having savored them for long in silence. “ How can I forgive you for the long delay?” Sandhya smiled taking Roopa’s hand as w ell. “ You are an angel,” he pressed her hand feebly. “ How dare you slight her?” sm iled Sandhya. “ Oh God, I’ve got to be on guard or what ! Well, I asked for it,” he said in jest . “ Don’t worry, as a loyal wife, I’ll stand guard at the ante-room,” said Sandhya to him , as she took Roopa’s hand. “ How cut e, but w on’ t w e drag you in,’ he said in all happiness. “ But why are you mum , Roopa?” “ I’m benumbed w it h joy,” said Roopa. “ Wither gone your guilt?” he smiled. ‘It got dissolved in our t ears of joy,” said Roopa fondling Sandhya’s hand. “ I equally love her romant icism and ardency,” he said, turning to Sandhya. “ We’ve been having each other much before you started having us,” whispered Sandhya into his ears. “ So, m y lesbo dears, no need for rehearsals,” he pulled t hem towards him self. “ So, our m acho m ast er would find it t hrilling,” whispered Sandhya into his ears. “ Hope, it won’t be a ringside view,” he smiled. “ Before your virility ent ers int o our arenas,” said Roopa coyly. “ I’m all eager for our orgies dears,” said Sandhya m irt hfully. “ So I’ve been for so long, but lying in a pool of blood, how my heart bled for both of you in t urns? How lucky I am t o survive that ordeal. Had I died how am I to tast e all t hat’ s in store for us? What a fright ening experience it was, really!” he said rem iniscently. “ Why t hink about all that now?” said Sandhya persuasively. ‘‘It ’s a miracle t o be alive, where’s Saroja?” he said with an apparent relief. “ I’ve asked our ayah to st ay back,” said Sandhya. That night , keeping vigil over their man t hat unit ed t hem in their love for him , the mat es didn’t wink even for a mom ent. However, by the tim e Ranga Reddy cam e along w ith Subba Reddy t owards m id-day, what with Raja Rao, raring to go, they w ere as fresh as the flow ers at dawn. “ Rao garu what a fright you gave us all,” said Subba Reddy ‘If not for Ranga Reddy garu , w e could’ve becom e m ad by now,” said Sandhya. “ M a’am, it’s a m inim um human court esy,” said Ranga Reddy. “ Don’t tell m e about human court esies as I had seen the visage of inhum anit y at close quarters,” said Raja Rao, brushing aside Sandhya’s protests. “ When I was a few m eters away from Wahab’s office, som e Hindu hooligans seeking out t he M uslim s for slaught er, accost ed me. Oh, I was so dazed by t he frenzy of those hat e-m erchant s that som e of them felt I could be a M uslim in fright. Aft er st ripping m e naked, to confirm m y religion via circum cision, they advised m e to run for safet y. I was too shaken to com prehend w het her I should t hank the foreskin for having saved m y skin, or feel asham ed of the crassness of m y co-religionist s. Then, hardly could I cross t he street , w hen I ran into a M uslim m ob that was braying for the Hindu blood. Before I could ut ter a word, som eone stabbed m e in m y back, and as I ran for life, t hey chased m e like a st ray dog w it h ‘deat h for t he kafir’ shout s. When they were about to close in on m e, I slum ped to the ground, and m aybe taking m e for dead, they left for good. As I lay there, I craved for life, cursing the religions. Now , I vaguely rem em ber to have been picked up by a police pat rol, and as you know , Dr. Wazir Ahm ed, and others here, ret rieved m e from the jaw s of death.” “ You can talk all about t hat when it w ould have becom e a distant m emory,” said Roopa, t rying to rest rain him ,” said Roopa. “ The wound I received at the M uslim hand is bound to heal in tim e, but the hum iliation I felt amidst the Hindu mob would be hard t o oblit erat e from my m em ory,” said Raja Rao regardless. “ This is the ugly face of these t wo great religions,” said Dr. Wazir Ahm ed st oically. “ M y good doctor, to say that all religions are great is a quid pro quo,” said Raja Rao excit edly. “ Well, the followers of all religions feel great about their faith. If not, how w ould t hey becom e believers in the first place? But, if w e were to go by the static inscript ions of t heir scriptures, then, the one common draw back with all the religions is t he diktat t o conform to t heir unique dogmas. In t he guise of preaching goodwill, all faiths effectually divide humanit y on religious lines. Isn’t it the villainy of religion? If the behavioral pat t ern of the follow ers be the crit erion to judge t he greatness of a religion, don’t we find that all faiths t o be equally wanting? How can any religion claim to be great when it fails to inculcate hum an values in its own follow ers? So, it ’s t he povert y of t hought that veils us from the fallacy of the faiths.” “ But then, are there not good people in all faiths,” said the doctor. “ That ’s due to t he diversit y of human nature and not because of religious conditioning of hum an character,” said Raja Rao “ The t rauma of the event could be but a passing sent ence in the history of man, and life, but for the dead, would go on, on the fam iliar course,” said Ranga Reddy. Shortly thereafter, Dr. Wazir Ahm ed fet ched RajaRao’s case history, and having checking up his condit ion all again said, “ You can take him now.” Having t hanked the doct ors and the staff profusely, Raja Rao left t he Osm ania General Hospital with his family and friends for recuperation at the Gaganmahal Nursing Hom e. ----Once admit ted in t he GNH, he was gripped by an urge to see Saroja, and as Sathyam fet ched her soon enough, he held her, as if he w ere clasping to his life it self. “ How pleasurable it is to live?” Raja Rao seem ed to t ell his daught er. Then, turning to Sat hyam and seeing him visibly m oved, he t hanked him for his concern and expressed his regret for having detained his wife. Towards the evening t hat day, Aslam came with tears in his eyes and a bouquet in his hand. Narasaiah, on hand then, narrat ed t he tale, as if he w ere t he eyewitness t o the happenings. “ Inshah Allah, you will live long sir,” ’ said Aslam holding Raja Rao’s hand. “ I heard there was som e problem at M usheerabad as w ell,” said Raja Rao. “ There were a couple of stabbings here and there,” said Aslam in all emotion. “ The saddest part of it all is that people go by rum ors. It was said t hat the M usi turned red w ith the M uslim blood and that was enough to spur som e of us in of our localit y t o goad others to join t he jihad, for Islam was in danger. I wonder why the fait hful fail to realize t hat Allah is all-powerful t o protect Islam on His own. And being m erciful, He wouldn’t approve killing people in the nam e of the faith. It’s sad that the thoughtless out rage of a few brings a bad nam e to our religion as a whole. If only t he M uslim who stabbed you know s w hat a good hum an being you are, he wouldn’t have lift ed his lit tle finger against you.” “ The com munal jaundice colours our vision w it h the bigot ry of our fait h to project hateful im ages of t he people of ot her religions; it pays t o be m ore hum ane and less religious, as, the more religious one is, the more biased one would be,” said Raja Rao. When Roopa was alone with Raja Rao t hat night, she told him that Sathyam was accommodat ed in that very room after his appendicit is operat ion, and at that , they rem inisced how w ret ched t hey felt, unable to have a longing look at each other, ow ing t o the pat ient’s presence. Thus having recount ed t he tale of her anxiet y aft er his sudden depart ure, she t old him about the ‘one line love lett er’ of hers that she kept ready for him then, and a visibly moved Raja Rao vouched his et ernal love for her. How ever, as his recuperation at t he GNH took longer than expect ed, Raja Rao turned apprehensive about the possible fallout from Roopa’s long hours at t he hospital. ‘If you hang around here this long, Sat hyam could become suspicious,” he said to her. “ Don’t worry about that, he asked m e to assist you, as long as it takes. Why, when push com es to shove, won’ t I walk over him to w alk into your hom e? You know that Sandhya has kept the door open for m e,” she said coolly. “ What courage!” he was am azed. “ What ’s love without that?” she cooed in his ear. “ How t rue, but sadly it’ s jealousy that spoils love,” ’ he said. ‘Jealousy is the device that denies m an t he divinity of love; I w onder how our Sandhya is an exception! An angel, indeed she is,” she said cont em platively ‘How w ell you’ve put it about our dear,” he said, pressing her hand. ‘And love can be the failing of t he divine even,” she said looking at him fondly. ‘Only those in love would realize t hat ,’ he said patting her affectionately. “ It ’s not that I’m being good and all, but I realized that, on our D-Day, that August day,” she said, reminiscing about their first night ’s togetherness. Chapter 35 Date w ith Destiny For t he first anniversary of her D-Day that August , Roopa was dead set to be in Tirupat i w it h her mat es. However, as she was clueless about keeping her m an away from t heir love t riangle, she got reconciled t o Sathyam ’s ironical presence at her t hanksgiving. That aft ernoon, as Sathyam was helping Roopa pack their luggage, Rami Reddy, his departm ent head, sent for him. “ Yes sir,” said Sathyam to Ram i Reddy, having cursed him all the way to the Secretariat. “ I’m sorry Sathyam but I’ve to cancel your leave,” Rami Reddy sounded apologetic. “ Sir, you know, I’m going t o Tirupati w ith m y fam ily and friends,” said Sathyam dum bfounded. “ But Nagaraju want s t o discuss t hose World Bank Tenders with us,” said Rami Reddy sym pathetically. ‘But sir, I’ll be back before t hey’re due for opening,” said Sathyam pleadingly. “ You know Nagaraju speaks for t he Finance M inist er, so there’s no way I can let you go now,” said Ram i Reddy. “ Yes, sir,” said Sathyam helplessly. “ Six sharp at 206, Royal Hot el, Nam pally,” said Ram i Reddy. ‘Oh, these are the ‘service’ inconveniences of life,’ Sathyam thought, on his way back hom e. ‘Had I been into som e business, wouldn’t I have been my own boss, as Raja Rao is? I should make a fast buck and st art on m y own soon. Surely, Nagaraju would like the World Bank Works awarded to t he Finance M inister’s benami firm s, but eyed by scores of leading cont ract ors. But, how can t here be any hanky-panky in the open t enders? Well, the m eeting w on’t serve any purpose save for the record, the boss know s t hat as w ell. All the sam e, Nagaraju is bound to pressurize the boss, and he want s t o use m e as just a cushion, t hat’ s all. Besides, w on’t he want t o be seen as t rying his best , t o be in t he good books of the pow ers t hat be? And that’ s why all this useless t amaasha , but surely Roopa won’t like it . Won’t she be deject ed at yet anot her cancellation? Surely she w ould curse m e, and may drop out herself in frust ration. What about Sandhya? Well, she was no less excit ed about t he t rip. Bett er I let Roopa go along with them , at least , let t hem all have som e good tim e.’ When at five in the evening, as the Sathyam s and the Raja Raos reached Nampally Stat ion, said Sat hyam t o Roopa, “ I’ll go and cancel m y ticket .” “ It m ight take you a long tim e for you in the gent s’ queue,” said Roopa t o Sat hyam as she took t he t icket from Raja Rao. ‘Perhaps it’s God’ s way of blessing our threesome,’ Roopa t hought joyously, joining t he queue for appearances sake. ‘Let this be the t icket for our orgies, in the coupe to begin with. Can’t w e hoodw ink the TTE t o keep that ext ra berth of privacy for us? Why, w e can t ell him t hat Sathyam has gone to m eet som eone on the t rain. Once he’s t hrough w ith his checking business and all, w e could lock t he cabin for our night -long orgies. Oh, though I wanted thanksgiving at Tirupati for that night of my life, the Lord seem s to grant us orgies in His Holy Abode as well. M aybe our t hreesom e love has the divine sanction too?’ ‘Oh, how people wear m oral blinkers, of the w ell-worn kind,’ she felt , as her thought process had brought her face-to-face wit h the reality of life. ‘The irony of it all is that, in spit e of censure by the moralist s, life t ends t o evolve in tandem with the ever changing hum an condition. Of course, they all start on the sly only to set the t rend in the end. Once it com es int o vogue, the new pat t ern becom es t he value syst em of the tim e to be picked up by the world as the m oral mant ra of the era. That’s all about the across the board morals, w hich fail t o take into account the individual compulsions in the changing t im es. Thus, it makes sense for one to draw one’s own boundary of ethics, of course, aided by a com pass of reason, with the needle of equity t hat is.’ Buoyed by that new found sense, Roopa left the booking counter and rejoined Sathyam chat ting with her mat es. Soon, they moved their luggage int o the first class coupe for four and as t hough t he driver was pushed by their urge for orgies, he blew the horn unceasingly, forcing the guard t o show the green light. Thus, as that Rayalaseem a Express began to chug out, waving off his wife and friends, Sathyam st epped out of the railway station only to st ep into t he Royal Hot el across the road. “ Sorry Sathyam garu you’ve to put up w ith this mediocrity as the st ar hot els may give us up,” Nagaraju greet ed Sathyam apologet ically. ‘That’s fine but why m y boss hasn’t t urned up yet ; well old habits die hard, don’t t hey,” said Sat hyam put ting on airs. At that, as the buzzer sounded, Nagaraju reached for the lat ch. “ You’ll live for hundred years see, w e’re talking about you only,” Nagaraju w elcom ed Rami Reddy. “ Sorry Sathyam for spoiling your part y,” said Ram i Reddy. “ That’ s Ok sir but what am I to do now?” said Sat hyam. ‘Don’t you know that all eyes are on the three WBTs? Nagaraju said dreamily. “ How I wish your bids turn out to be L-1s in those Open Tenders,” said Ram i Reddy resignedly. “ But t he Boss has very high hopes on you,” said Nagaraju t o set the ball rolling. “ He believes you could find some ways and m eans to put them int o his pocket, not as favour but for bart er.” “ How kind of him but you know t he procedures are all so pucca,” said Rami Reddy, and added by throw ing up his arm s resignedly. “ The Boss want s you t o devise the tact ics and leave t he logist ics to him,” said Nagaraju as though to light en Rami Reddy’s burden. “ To my m ind at least, the procedures are foolproof, not amenable to t wist s and t urns,” said Rami Reddy, and t urned to Sathyam as though want ing him to second his opinion. “ What do you say Sathyam ?” “ You’ re absolutely right sir,” said Sathyam, w it hout a second thought . “ Accom m odations in the Limit ed Tenders and passing the bills out of turn are different anyway and w e managing them for you all through,” said Ram i Reddy. “ That ’s why you’ve been get t ing peanut s all the w hile, now get us these m ega project s, and have a m illion each,” said Nagaraju enticingly. “ Even if we click, it m ight lead us into the remand in the end,” said Rami Reddy, as t hough to raise t he stakes. ‘Well, to cover all risks, you both can have an ext ra m illion each,” said Nagaraju falling for the bit e. ‘Don’t mist ake m y saying so but when it com es to set t ling the account s, invariably it all boils down t o one excuse or the other. I know people shying away from parting w it h fart hings that is having pocketed undue pounds,” said Sathyam to Nagaraju. “ I appreciat e that,’ said Nagaraju as though the deal was about to be signed and sealed. “ Show us a foolproof plan and take fift y percent in advance, and the balance will be yours aft er t he t enders are opened, but before you leave t he office. That should sat isfy you.” “ Tem pt ing as it is, I don’t see how w e can pull it off,” Rami Reddy thought aloud. ‘As you’re involved with t he t ender openings for m ore t han a year now, given your acum en, I’m sure you can spot a loophole or t wo,” said Nagaraju to Sat hyam . “ I didn’t apply m y m ind t o that but on the face of it , given the stringent procedures, it looks a tough ask though,” said Sat hyam thought fully. “ When t he drink get s int o the syst em , it might throw up an idea or two, wouldn’t it?” said Nagaraju opening the Johnny Walker with the black label. ‘Anyway, it’s stupid not t o give it a try, Sathyam, let ’s review the w hole process, and see if w e can find a way,” said Ram i Reddy. “ As you know, sir, at the scheduled t im e, the sealed t enders are opened in the bidders’ presence,” Sathyam began recount ing the t ender procedure in place. “ Even as all wat ch with their eagle eyes, of course from som e distance, I sort out t he docum ent s, and encircle the bid figures of each of them . Then I place them all before t he m embers of the tender opening com mit t ee for the authentication of the respect ive bids with their signatures. Once t hat done, as the gathered take note of them , I read out all the bids, one by one, and t hus, by t he t im e I announce the last bid, the L-1 w ould be an open secret . How ever, if w e t ry to favor a higher bid, then, as you know, all hell would break loose.” “ Why not w e change the topic, you can report the m at t er t o the Boss, appended with m y apologies. He m ight as well t ry his luck w it h the Tender Evaluation Comm itt ee if he could,” said Rami Reddy, as if in conclusion. “ Why give up, when half the bot t le is st ill for the t aking,” said Nagaraju, m ore out of hope than any expectation. But at lengt h, when they all cam e dow n to the dregs, Sathyam said dreamily, “ If only the Tender Com m it t ee chooses to look the other way, take it from m e that t he project s are already in the FM ’s pocket.” “ Really!” exclaimed Nagaraju, as his eyeballs almost cam e out of their socket s, as if to probe Sat hyam ’s mind. “ Oh, com e on, reveal t he plot , and leave the rest to m e. If only you need, we can even put t he blind in the com mit t ee.” While Nagaraju laughed heartily at his own joke, Rami Reddy was piqued by his subordinate’s one-upmanship. “ Let m e see if it’s workable,’ said Ram i Reddy, bogged down by his failure to com e up w ith som ething on his own, but not wit h any idea t o exam ine what Sathyam might bring on to the table for he was far t oo inebriat ed by then t o com prehend m uch of what was happening then. ‘To start with, FM ’s benam i t enders w ould have blank bids,” announced Sathyam . “ What !” Nagaraju exclaim ed in surprise. “ Only to turn into L-1s in the end,” said Sat hyam with a triumphant look. “ Nonsense,” said Ram i Reddy dism issively. ‘Why this cynicism Reddy garu, let Sathyam Saab explain,” said Nagaraju, seem ingly hopeful. “ If only the comm itt ee m embers authenticat e your t enders without figures, then w e can t urn t hem int o legal L-1s in the end,” Sathyam said with an air of certainty. “ But how?” said Nagaraju in disbelief. “ This s how ; once the com mit t ee turns blind to t he blank spaces, and signs on the dot t ed lines,” said Sat hyam , assum ing a m easured tone, “ I w ould place each of your t enders at the bott om of the respective piles. Then, for a given project , as I read out the bid figures of all the t enders from top to bott om , at every stage, I would m ake a mental not e of the prevailing L-1. Thus, in the end, as I pick up your empty t ender lying at the bot tom , I would state som e amount , lower than the lowest . So, Nagaraju garu should be alert to not e the figure I blurt out for all the three w orks. Once we’re done with the crowd, w e’ll have all t he tim e in the world t o insert t he lowest bids in those preauthent icat ed blanks in your t enders? Now tell me, what do you think of the coup in the making?” “ Brilliant Saab ,” exclaimed Nagaraju hugging Sat hyam. “ Seem s w orkable,” said Rami Reddy shaking Sat hyam ’s hand. “ There would be a few loose ends to tie up though,’ said Sat hyam , w it h a top-of-thew orld feeling. “ For mat ching the t ypeface on the t enders on the w hole, w e need to use t he sam e typew rit er all through. We should buy a machine for our section, but before w e take it in, we’ll use it for t yping t he bid-less t enders at m y place. Thus, aft er the t ender opening, as we fill in t he blanks on that m achine in our office, the t ypeface would com e clean, even under the m icroscope. As a way of ext rem e precaution, on both the occasions, w e m ight use t he sam e t ypew riter ribbon. That would ensure that even God w ouldn’t get a wind of our m anipulat ion.” “ This to say t he least it ’s a Sherlock Holm es’ st uff,” said Nagaraju m issing the point in his excit em ent . “ You can take care of the typew riter and all, put up a not e t omorrow it self for m y approval,” said Rami Reddy enthusiast ically to Sathyam. “ Oh, it ’s unbelievable!” exclaim ed Nagaraju confident ly, “ So, the three biggest ever civil works in the country fall in our lap, isn’t it as good as that? All w e’ve got t o do now is t o put in place a pliable committ ee t o do our bidding, but won’t that be a child’s play for t he Boss. You will get your m illion each by t om orrow evening, sealed, and delivered at home.” “ It ’s t im e we left,” suggest ed Rami Reddy. As he headed hom e in ecstasy, Sathyam was jubilant in his exuberance. ‘Rupees t w o million for my billion dollar idea, isn’t it brilliant?’ he t hought excitedly, ‘Oh, it’s not hing short of genius, really. Why, it ’s alm ost a revelat ion! A couple of blank bids to follow , and w on’t I show the Prasads of the world t heir right ful place? If only I could t ell all this to Roopa, she would’ve an idea about her husband’s grey m at t er. How sad it is that neither I can share m y t riumph with her nor present t he booty t o her, t o show her that I care. Besides, I can’t bet t er our lifest yle either to make it lavish for her. How am I to explain my spending spree t o her? But why does she have such an aversion t owards cutt ing corners? Well, aft er t ouching five or more, I should resign and venture int o som e business or the other. Won’t I be able to pass off all this as business profit s t hen, even from the beginning? And t hat w ould be the tim e t o flaunt m y w ealth and make her move in a limousine of her own. M eanwhile, I’ve to lay low, t ucking the money t ight in the at tic.’ ‘Would one ever com e to suspect t he secret show?’ he thought , aft er reaching hom e. ‘No way, isn’ t it all so foolproof. But w hat if it were to leak out later? If it ever com es to t hat, leave alone her, can I ever face m y dad? Won’t the old man scow l that t he fair fam ily nam e is soiled. What an idiosyncrasy! Of what worth is a fam ily nam e, w hen no one had heard of it? M umm y, though, might underst and. What ever, the die is cast, isn’t it? Now even if I w on’t play ball, t he play will go on, that is for sure. Why should I be the loser, aft er all? Besides, won’t I have to m ake her rich, at all cost s that is? What a lovely w ife t o have, how will she be feeling on the t rain now?’ ----Aboard t hat Rayalaseem a Express, entwined with her m an and her m at e in that fourbert h coupe, Roopa in the seventh heaven raved, “ Oh, how I’ve been dreaming for our threesom e in a coupe on the move.” “ Count on m e t o make those com e t rue now ,” said Sandhya amorously t o Roopa. “ With bot h of us lending him our helping hands, isn’t it st range t hat he needs to double his effort,” said Roopa enlacing Sandhya. Thus in their uninhibited lovemaking t hat w ent on w ell int o the night, even as the lesbianism of the wom en charm ed their m an’s eroticism , his libido, exhilarat ed by t heir eagerness, occasioned their grat ificat ion. While the lovers felt equally blessed, as if the bliss of their love t riangle had been seeping into her cradle as well, Saroja didn’t st ir from her sleep all the tim e. By the tim e they reached Tirupat i in the m orning, it was w ell past t en, and hiring a cab, they soon set on t heir journey to Tirumala, the abode of Sri Venkat eswara, the Lord of the Seven Hills. “ How is it that the Lord is also called Balaji?” Sandhya asked Raja Rao. “ M aybe to m ake it easy for t he North Indian tongues that find it hard to pronounce our South Indian nam es,” he said, fondling Saroja in his lap. Reaching Tirumala in tim e, they checked into a cottage reserved beforehand, and having rest ed aft er lunch, they visit ed Papanasam and other places of pilgrim age on the seven hills. In the end, spurred on by t he spiritual st im uli, t hey spent t he night in ecst at ic union before going t o the temple at dawn for t he t homala seva of t he Lord. While Roopa thanked Him for her fulfilled life, Sandhya prayed in grat it ude for His saving her man’s life besides blessing her mat e’s love. As for Raja Rao, he w ished that t he Lord w ould nourish their love for one anot her, forever. Aft er t he Lord’ s seva, Raja Rao took out a coral necklace and a pearl chain from his w allet , along with a plain gold chain, and gave t hem t o the poojari to perfuse t hem with t he Holy wat er, and even as he was chanting appropriat e mant ras, he whispered t o his w om en, “ Hear him sanct ify our union.” When the poojari handed him the ornam ents, Raja Rao adorned Sandhya with the coral necklace and enlaced Roopa’s nape w it h t hat pearl chain, all wit h a feeling of blessedness. As t hough to dem onst rat e t he w eakness for his women did not overshadow his pat ernal feeling, he adorned his daught er w it h the blessed gold chain. “ I’ll revere it like m y mangalasut ram , blessed by love, and sanctified by god,” said Roopa reverent ially placing the pearl chain on her eyelids. “ It feels like He’s blessing us,” said Sandhya myst ically, and while fondling her pearls, Roopa fondly looked at the deity. “ Even if w e discount t he belief of the devout that the Lord manifest s here, one may st ill explain t he aura of the deity; the faith and reverence of His devot ees in His om nipotence could’ve im part ed that perceivable power to His Idol,” said Raja Rao, In t im e, as they w ent round the market place, Sandhya picked up a Nirmal painting, depicting the Lord and His t wo Consort s, Alivelu M anga and Padmavathi, all dressed up in the nuptial whit e. “ Oh darling, it’s divine,” said Raja Rao. ‘Dears, it ’s for guidance,” said Sandhya taking both t heir hands. When t hey reached their cot tage, promising t o be back in no t ime, Raja Rao w ent out again. “ You look m arvelous in the corals,” Roopa kissed Sandhya. “ The pearls com e alive on you lovey!” Sandhya followed suit . “ How he divines our variet y,” said Roopa. “ And awe us w ith his virilit y,” said Sandhya, hugging Roopa. When Raja Rao ret urned t onsured, Sandhya said teasingly, “ M ay w e know to what avail the vow?’ “ Not hing of t hat sort , the cust om could be to enable one to experience hum ilit y since hair in so many ways sym bolizes human vanit y,” he said, fondling his scalp. Aft er a week’s romance in their amorous t riangle, st rengthened by the divine sent im ent, the threesom e, along with their lit t le darling, left Tirupati for Hyderabad that evening. Chapter 36 Threesome Sail Waiting for the arrival of the Rayalaseema Express at Nampally that m orning, Sathyam felt that only on Roopa’s ret urn w ould the hidden t reasure acquire it s true value for it s possession. As t he t rain chugged int o the railway station, he sighted Roopa, leaning out to wave at him, and seeing her alight, radiat ing in t hat pearl chain, his own mood was furt her buoyed. “ You look great,” said Sathyam to Roopa, having greet ed them all. “ It ’s a surprise from Sandhya,” said Roopa fondling her pearls chain. “ How this goes w it h m e?” said Sandhya show ing him her coral necklace. “ Anyt hing suit s you,” said Sat hyam , helping them in m oving t he luggage. “ Thank you,” said Sandhya. “ How’s t he t rip?” said Sathyam to Raja Rao. “ Had you com e, it w ould’ve been different ,” said Raja Rao. “ But the Lord had other ideas for m e,” said Sathyam . Once out of the st at ion, they hired a cab to reach their hom es. As he took Roopa into his arm s that night, Sathyam couldn’t take his eyes off her pearl chain. ‘Why it didn’t strike me t hat pearls go so w ell with you,” he said a lit tle disappoint ed. “ Being a face-m an, you thought about t he nose-stud,” she said alluringly, and t hought adoringly, ‘But Raja, oh! Won’t he turn m y face and fram e into one? What a t im e w e’ve had!’ ‘Soon I’ll m ake you a queen with the crown and all,” said Sathyam, fondling her affect ionat ely, “ I’ll await t he coronation,” she said in smile, but felt at t he sam e t im e, ‘ Am I not already an em press of love on a double t hrone.’ On t he other hand, in t hat middle-class hom e wit h m illions in t he loft, Sathyam felt t hat he was in a t risankhu sw argam . Though his net w orth was enough to make people line up at his doorst ep, he felt that he had t o run t he errands for the IAS cadre. He was disgusted that t hough he had the m eans to let Roopa go around in a chauffeur driven Chevrolet , he was unable t o offer her any m ore than a pillion ride on his Lam bret ta. In his frust rat ion, he oft en t hought of quit ting t he service, but the t em ptat ion to keep it going for som e more t im e, ensured that it was st atus quo at his office, and hom e as w ell. Then cam e Saroja’s first birthday, and Roopa’s proposal to add Tara to t heir fam ily guest list , seconded by Sandhya, was w elcom ed by Raja Rao. “ I feel flat t ered to be favoured,” said Tara t o Roopa. “ It ’s no favour and you’re not invited alone,” said Roopa. “ I’ll surely com e and you understand the rest ,” said Tara “ Is it not som e price to pay my friend,” said Roopa taking Tara’s hand. “ As I keep t elling you, life is like that m y dear,” said Tara hugging Roopa. “ I love you for that,” said Roopa enlacing Tara. Sathyam for his part couldn’t resist the t emptation to present her a gold necklace befitt ing his int rinsic wort h and his innat e affect ion for Sandhya, and on the way to the birthday party at her place, he found him self in contemplat ion, ‘Sandhya would surely like m y present for her daught er. What a sw eet nature she has. Oh, how she understands people and em pathizes with them . And what warm th she has for people in general. What a rare woman, indeed. Wouldn’t I’ve been bett er off had she been my wife, inst ead of a rakhi sist er? But t hen, Raja Rao would’ve been a bett er husband for Roopa. How she adm ires him? He’s not hing short of an idol for her, is he not? And it’ s quit e possible that she’ s enam ored of him , and oh, how she clings to him . But how can I fault her, even if she were in love with him? Isn’t he a bet t er man t han me in every way? Why, it ’s so apparent. But would her infatuation push her int o a liaison with him ? Oh, no, aft er all t hat , how unfair of m e to even t o ent ertain such a t hought? Why, didn’t she shun Prasad, that t oo when she was indifferent to m e? By snubbing Prasad, hadn’t she show ed her character, once and for all? What ’s more, she even says that she loves m e, and I too can feel her newfound affection, don’t I? M aybe, she even fantasizes about Raja Rao, but t hat ’s a different m att er alt ogether.” When he reached their place, it was Roopa who received him , and he lost no t ime in placing the necklace on Saroja’s person. “ I envy m y daughter’s luck at having an uncle who t reat s her like a daughter,” said Sandhya, thrilled at his gest ure. ‘I’ve always thought that we’re all but one family,” said Sathyam , feeling pleased. As Roopa began t o dress Saroja in a plain cott on frock t hough, Sathyam said it may not be right for the big occasion. “ Though kids are bett er off in cot tons, sadly for them, parent s t end to exhibit them in suffocating synthet ics,” she said. ‘It’s a fine drawing-room talk but t he world regards one for his dress,” said Sathyam . ‘Dress may add but it ’s t he poise t hat pleases,” said Roopa. “ Left to you, you would make a sanyasin out of Saroja,” said Sathyam unable t o reconcile to her philosophy of life. “ Anyway, I’ll show Saroja the other side of the coin?” “ Sathyam garu, I’ll assist you in your endeavour,” said Tara who by then joined them. “ You both are welcom e to do that,’ said Raja Rao w ho joined them by then. “ But personally, I like to be guided by the t win quot es t hat our fam ily physician Dr. Ramachandra Rao, religiously t ransfers t o his new diary. Som ehow that slipped from m y m ind when w e were on t he subject at the Eagle Bar t hat day. Let m e quote them In bringing up children, parent s should rem em ber that not wealth, but educat ion conduces m ost to their happiness, and the other is - The best inheritance that a father can provide t o his son is an education that will fit him to take an honorable place among t he cultured m en.” “ I appreciat e your int ellect , though I differ w it h som e of your ideas, but I do envy your experience without any reservation what ever,” said Sat hyam ext ending his hand to Raja Rao. “ Thank you for your com plim ent,” said Raja Rao. “ Intellect is the ability t o analyse hum an condit ion and experience is t he out come of self-int rospection. But people t end t o att ribut e their failures to outside factors without reflect ing upon their ow n cont ributions t o the setbacks. That’s why we find m any inexperienced oldies and a few experienced youths. All said and done, I feel you’ve an int ellectual heart .” “ Oh, you’ve t ouched m y heart,” said Sathyam pat ting Raja Rao. “ Congratulat ions for forming a new M ut ual Admiration Club,” said Roopa. “ You’re w elcome t o join if you please,” said Raja Rao. “ Why do you leave m e out,” said Tara sm ilingly. “ How can I, you’re doubly w elcom e,” said Raja Rao. “ Shall I thank him on your behalf Tara,” said Roopa smilingly. “ You make m e dumb,” said Tara taking Roopa’s hand. Soon, the other invit ees began t o arrive w ith their kids, and in time, t he place was all agog with excit em ent. At length, as it was t ime for high tea, announced Sandhya, “ Pray it ’s palatable and pick up your plat es.” ----- For the first anniversary of Integral Architect s, t hat cam e close on the heels of Saroja’s birt hday, Raja Rao thought of m aking it low key at his office and an ext ended affair at the Blue Fox in the evening. Thus, aft er performing the customary vighnesw ara puja that m orning, and having handed over the mandatory m em ent oes t o Aslam and Narasaiah, Raja Rao called it a day at the office, want ing them t o join for the dinner part y at t he Blue Fox in the evening with t heir families. Soon they reached hom e, and Sandhya, as was her wont, sent Saroja w it h the ayah t o Lalitha’s place, so finding them selves all alone with their man, as the m at es looked at him admiringly, he folded them together w it h his ‘I love you’ and asked them to pick up t heir diamond ear-st uds from his hands. “ Fascinating,” said Sandhya excit edly. “ Radiant,” reflected Roopa reflexively. “ Like you two,” he said as they went about unscrew ing their gold st uds. ‘Oh, how he used to pronounce ‘ two’ as ‘too’ t o seduce m e!” said Roopa to Sandhya. “ Had I got a w ink of it , m y honeym oon w ould’ve been our orgymoon,” said Sandhya. “ That would’ve saved m e all that misery,” said Roopa rem iniscently, as she t ried to posit ion the diamond ear-studs all by herself. “ But it made that night so poignant,” said Raja Rao, st opping her from changing the ear studs. “ Ordeals do throw up rewards in the end,” said Roopa. “ Oh, how I wish I’d seen that scene,” said Sandhya. “ Now for a romantic touch to our dalliance, let’s adorn the First Lady,” he said, and t ook t he pair from Sandhya’s hand, and gave one t o Roopa. “ It ’s just love,” said Sandhya, as her man and her m at e were at work on her ears. “ Are you not our love,” they said, biting the respect ive ear. “ Oh, you look wonderful, look int o the m irror,” said Roopa to Sandhya. “ I grasp that from the glow of your faces,” said Sandhya, em bracing them both. When he invit ed Sandhya for a repeat performance on their lover, Roopa said mischievously to Raja Rao, “ You leave the right one to her, as she has t he first right on m e.” “ Roopa, how your face glow s in the diam ond triangle,” said Raja Rao seeing her adorned. “ Can’t I grasp that from t he glint in your eyes,” said Roopa. “ You are a rare gem ,” said Sandhya, kissing Roopa. “ Cut by your love, polished by his passion and embodied in our threesom e,” said Roopa, even as Sandhya sucked Raja Rao into their embrace. “ I too love to wear a nose-st ud,” said Sandhya, t wirling Roopa’s. “ Don’t we think alike, darling?” he said, pulling one from his pocket . “ But then, won’ t she need a poke, on her nose that is,” said Roopa, laughing. ‘I don’t mind sending her t o any doct or for that,” smiled Raja Rao. ‘And for t hat w hy would I need any other needle?” said Sandhya naught ily. “ It ’s t im e we chained him ,” Roopa winked at Sandhya. “ A lovely punishm ent,” said Raja Rao, all eager. Pressing herself to him at his back, as Roopa blindfolded Raja Rao with her palm s, having rem oved his shirt thereafter, Sandhya slipped a gold chain onto his chest , and as her grateful man opened his arm s, Sandhya sank into his embrace in m irth. But when she m oved her hands to his navel, Roopa shift ed her hands onto t he chain, as t hough t o rein him in. “ Won’t our womanly t ogetherness adorn your m anly chest?” Roopa whispered to him , show ing him the locket . “ It ’s am azing in it s alphabetical reversal,” he said, hugely pleased. “ Let’ s go by the precedent ,” said Sandhya stripping him naked. ” First lovers first , that’s the right order,” he said, holding t hem together. “ Won’t w e take that as your order,” said the mates, and began t o show an unusual zeal in their lesbian t ogetherness. Wat ching t hem in wonderm ent, he took out t wo waist -chains to adorn their nudit y but as they reached for them randomly, he suggest ed they guess the respective dest ination of the gold and the platinum ornam ent s. ‘Who knows, you might bluff, even if w e guess it right,” said Sandhya, seconded by Roopa. “ No way, as each has a nam e inscribed on it ,” he said in all smiles. As they guessed theirs’ right, he began with Sandhya, and exclaim ed, “ Oh, how it vanished!” When it cam e to Roopa, he w ondered, “ How well it mat ches!” In t hat euphoric mom ent, as his wom en lost no tim e t o go t o each other’s erot ic root s, seeing their waist-chains sink into each other’s breast s, he said ecstatically, “ What a lesbo love!” “ Voyeured enough, have us now ,” sputt ered Roopa.. “ I don’t see any ent rance,” he said, feigning helplessness. “ Get in here,” said Roopa, raising her head and pushing him into Sandhya’s. “ Deep throat it,” he said t o Roopa after a while. “ Lovey, give mine your hand,” said Sandhya in spurt ing ecstasy. “ What love!” exclaim ed Raja Rao in joy. “ Fill her thing,” said Sandhya at lengt h without letting go Roopa. At length, when nature brought t heir uninhibit ed orgy to it s fulfilling end, said Sandhya dream ily, “ What a life!” “ What a love?” said Roopa. But when Roopa returned from her bath, finding her waist bereft of the chain he gave her, said a disappoint ed Raja Rao, “ I thought you liked it .” “ I make it a witness only to our lovem aking,” she said, em bracing her mat es with a feeling of emotional comm itm ent to him . Having slept for a while, Roopa ret urned hom e by the tim e Sat hyam cam e from the Secretariat, and som etim e thereafter she w ent with to the Raja Raos’ place to proceed t o Blue Fox at seven. Among those who made it t o the party in the evening w ere the t wo Reddys, Wahab, Dr. Wazir Ahm ed, and Tara, w ho held all eyes. Sit ting beside Sathyam, Sandhya said, “ Haven’t you not iced our ear-studs?” “ They suit you both equally w ell,” he said. “ We want ed t o surprise you, as ever,” said Sandhya. ‘I’m glad you care for her, she’s very happy t hese days,” he said. “ Why don’t you stop w it h t hat?” said Roopa t o Sathyam in bet w een her conversat ion w ith Tara. “ These mixed dinners are for novices, aren’t stags t he answ er for t he regulars? What do you say Sathyam Saab ?” said Wahab. “ Three cheers,” laughed Sat hyam , lifting his glass “ I underst and t he archit ects are having a pret t y good t im e these days,” said Dr. Wazir Ahmed to Raja Rao at the other end of the table. “ Can’t you see, doctor sahib, with two pretty direct ors on board, how could it be otherwise for our rom ant ic archit ect?” said Subba Reddy in undertone, before Raja Rao could reply. “ Thank God, you’ ve st opped at that,” mut t ered Raja Rao. ‘It’s I who has stopped at that , isn’t it?” laughed Subba Reddy, who was high by then. Sensing t rouble, Ranga Reddy, who was sit ting beside his inebriat ed friend, thought it fit to preem pt a scandal in the offing, and announced t hereby, “ I request Dr. Wazir Ahm ed t o present this m iniat ure Charm inar t o Raja Rao garu on our behalf with the fond hope that one day; Integral Architect s w ould conceive a modern day symbol of Hyderabad.” ‘Thank you all for a wonderful evening,” said Raja Rao, sounding closure aft er they had dinner. “ It ’s our pleasure no less,” echoed the guest s. Back hom e, in t im e, Raja Rao t old Sandhya, “ Can’t we look back with satisfaction?” “ I’ve never been happier all my life,” she said, m aking herself sm ug in his em brace. “ Thanks to t he favors of fortune,” he said fondling her lovingly. ‘But, I’m w orried at tim es, whether our bliss t oo good to last for long,” she said in apprehension. ‘M aybe, by t he law of averages, Roopa’s unfortunat e past may ensure the future st ability of our love t riangle,” said Raja Rao. “ How I w ish it’s t rue,” said Sandhya sharing her thought s w ith him. “ But , what can be said about the st rangeness of life and the singularit y of the relat ionships? To start w ith, it was the mutual adm irat ion that ushered in m y friendship w it h Roopa. Then, our grow ing affect ion found it s t rue expression in our lesbianism , t riggered by, of all the t hings, by her post -nuptial depression! And our chance m eeting in New Delhi brought you int o m y life to provide substance, as well as sust enance to it . Lat er, your mutual att raction resulted in your passionat e liaison that cat ered to Roopa’s craving for the male élan, and yours, for your dusky dame. In the end, it was the realit y of the relat ionships that you present ed m e, helped me colour our love triangle on t he canvas of our sexualit y. And then provident ially at Tirupati, spirituality t oo insensibly seeped int o our threesom e affection, enabling us to experience divinit y in our lovemaking. And above all, thanks to the innat e em pat hy you have for the fair sex, the idea of wom an in liaison loving her husband made you Roopa’s benign flam e, to light Sathyam’s life. Oh, t hat’ s life.” ‘What m ore can we ask?” said Raja Rao cont em platively. ‘A m enage a t rois wit h her, oh how we used to jest about it !” Sandhya said dream ily. ‘Find a wife for Sathyam before she divorces him,” he said in jest . “ But t hen, one shouldn’t be t oo greedy even in daydream ing.” “ So, cont entm ent is the finest qualit y even in love seeking?” she said, sinking into him . ‘But it goes against t he other saying that variet y is t he spice of life,” he said, winking at her. ‘The beauty of our life is that it covers bot h the grounds,” she said radiantly. “ Affording us contented variet y,” he said reaching for her lips. “ Have your w ifely spice,” she said, t urning amorous. The blessed couple, at length, sank into a blissful sleep. Chapter 37 End of an Innings Som e six m onths lat er, the t rio’s dest iny made a course correct ion in Roopa’s life. Aft er Sat hyam had his breakfast that Sunday m orning, she herself feeling lazy, Roopa sent him to fet ch som e vegetables. On his way back from the nearby sabzi mandi , rem embering her indent for matchboxes as well, he stopped at a pan shop and chanced t o read t he headline of the Eenadu on sale there. Though he couldn’ t believe his eyes, t he capt ion there shook him to the core. Jeopardized by t he news, he picked up a paper in anxiet y, and rushed hom e in fright. Racing up t he st eps, he sank int o the sofa to go t hrough the item w ith premonition. ‘SCANDALOUS WORLD BANK TENDERS’ the headline stared him in the face all again, making him numb. However, goaded by the fear of his future, he started reading the copy – In a late night press not e, Divakar Reddy, the leader of t he opposition, alleged t hat the cont ract s of t he World Bank Project s w ere fraudulent ly awarded t o the benami firm s of t he Andhra Pradesh Finance M inist er, Rajanna Choudhary, and demanded that t he mat ter be probed by t he Cent ral Bureau of Invest igation…..’ What with his eyes welled up by then, Sathyam could go no farther. M eanwhile having goaded herself into the kit chen, Roopa wondered w hy he was t aking so long to com e to her, and so, in t im e, she herself went into the hall. Seeing him as white as a sheet in the sofa, she asked him anxiously, “ What ’s w rong wit h you?” Still in a t rance, he looked at her vacuously. “ Tell m e, what happened?” she shook him . He gave her the new spaper for a reply. “ Tell m e, please,” she said, flinging the paper on the t eapoy. “ Read the headline,” he mum bled. “ I can’t make head or tail of it ,” she said, having read it. “ That headline m ight cost m e m y head,” he said nervously. “ What !” she said in shock. “ I’m involved in all t hat ,” he said with mixed feelings. “ I just can’t believe it!’ she said, and read the news in detail. ‘I was the m ast ermind of that scam ,” he said, looking at her confounded. “ M aybe you’re im agining things,” she said, as she gathered her wit s. “ Believe it or not, I script ed that plot t o the last det ail,” he said seemingly lost . “ Oh, really, but why didn’t you t ell m e before?” she said in exasperat ion. Then he narrat ed the contours of the conspiracy and the details of its execut ion with a sense of excit em ent, and added, “ I wonder how anyone could’ve smelled a rat as that was foolproof,” he said ruefully. “ No denying t hat it ’s brilliant though w icked. If only you had put your brains for bett er use,” she said, making no effort to hide her adm irat ion for his brainchild. “ Do you know what m y idea is wort h?” he said m ysteriously. “ The crumbs of the corrupt cake,” she said feeling sad. “ Hold your breath; now you’re a m illionairess without your knowing it . I’ve made t wo millions from t hat single deal and another half a million for the assort ed favours done over the tim e. All t he m oney is there for you, safely tucked away in the att ic,” he said proudly. “ Who cares for your millions, I’m worried about this mess,” she said, unmoved. ‘M ore t han the loss of m y face, I’m w orried about it s confiscation, m aking you poor all over again,” he said deject edly. “ You know that I don’t care even if it w ere a billion. I’m only worried about you,” she said, t rying to calm him . “ I never im agined things w ould com e to t his pass, I only thought that m oney might make you feel secure, and would earn m e your love. It looks like, now I’m ruined in every way,” he said morosely. “ It ’s my fault for being cold to you then but now you know I love you,” she said w it h a sense of rem orse. “ I know that but do you st ill love m e?” he said with his heart in his m outh. “ Now I love you even m ore for the way you feel for m e,” she said, taking his hand. “ Roopa, you don’t seem to underst and the value of m oney and the humiliat ion the lack of it could cause,” he said, pushing the im port of the calam ity ont o the back burner, as the sent im ent of his love cam e to the fore. “ Though it hurt m e deeply, it was Prasad’s ogling of you that had opened m y eyes. If only I were a man of status, he wouldn’t have dared even to daydream about you, leave alone w ooing you. From then on, I st rived to prepare a sheath of wealt h for you to ward off the lecherous folks.” “ Oh, how you love m e!” she embraced him . “ M ore t han you could ever imagine,” he said holding her. “ I feel blessed; but w hy this m ess?” she said, overwhelm ed by love for him. “ It ’s a consolation that you love m e st ill, but how can I show my face to m y fat her?” he said asham edly. ‘Don’t worry, he would underst and,” she said t rying to cheer him up. ‘You don’t know him , for him , our surnam e is paramount; he would die of sham e for m y misdeed,” he said in all rem orse. “ Why not plead guilt y and be done with it?” she thought it was a way out . “ M aybe, the court could be considerat e but Choudhary’s m afia won’t take kindly to t hat, oh, how hopelessly I’ve com prom ised myself!” he lam ent ed. “ We all m ake mist akes, yet, we deserve t o be sympathized for the m otive behind our moves. Aft er all, it ’s for love t hat we both erred on the sly,” she said t o him as m uch to herself. Having said t hat , she realized that she got carried away to blurt out her secret and looked at him horrified. But overwhelm ed by his own predicam ent, Sathyam failed t o not e the oddit y of her averm ent, and so didn’t press her for any clarification on that count, and m erely said, “ Your sent iment gives m e hope.” “ We bett er talk to Raja Rao,” she suggest ed in relief, having recovered in the m eantim e. “ We’ll think about it lat er, but I want to be alone now . Now, solitude seem s t o be m y best com pany,” he said, as he got up to go into the bedroom. “ I underst and,” she said. “ Why not I have a little drink to light en m y burden?” he thought aloud. “ As you please,” she said going to fet ch him som e ice and wat er. Drinking out of a bott le of Chivas Regal, of the three sent by Nagaraju the ot her day, t hought Sathyam , “ What a paradox it is that the grief and the relief should com e from the sam e source!” ‘Am I not responsible for all t his?’ felt Roopa, all alone in the hall. ‘Of course, having made him feel insecure all through, haven’t I caused his eventual fall? If only I had made him feel want ed from the beginning, would things have com e to such a pass? Well, w it tingly or unw itt ingly, I brought him t o this ugly stage but he won’t even have one harsh word for m e! Why have I devalued him and his love all along? Oh God, how I have com e t o w rong him !’ Overw helm ed by his new found virtues, and asham ed of her ow n insensitivit y, Roopa resolved t o stand by him through t hick and through t hin. ‘Even if the world belitt les him , I’ll value him more than anyt hing else,’ she resolved. As Sat hyam w ent on drinking, she reproached him at luncht im e, “ You bet t er st op it now for your ow n good.” ‘I can’t stand it in my right senses,” he said pleadingly. “ You’re making m e helpless,” she said. “ Am I not helpless m yself?” he said. “ At least , do have a bit e,” she said persuasively. “ Ok, I shall join you,” he said, em pt ying the glass. Aft er lunch, exhaust ed by fear, he slept for long and as he got up at five, he asked her t o go t o Sandhya’s place lest t hey should com e visiting them. “ How am I t o leave you now?” she prot est ed. “ Honestly, now I’m uncom fortable even with you,” he said em barrassedly. “ I’ll stay in the hall, call m e if you need anything,” she said. ‘At least , he drinks to light en his burden, and he deserves it as well. But what about m e?’ she felt, reclining in the sofa, and began to picture her fut ure. ‘What could be the possible out com e of the scandal? He’s sure to lose his job, and may even find him self behind the bars. Oh, how t hat would ruin him and ridicule m e. What have I done to deserve all this? Oh God, what ’s w rong with my life? How long I have lived in a void for w ant of love, and t hen, that yearlong pining in passion. At long last , w hen I’m happy, here’s this t ragic t urn.’ ‘Won’t high connections help?’ she t hought at lengt h. ‘Can Ranga Reddy com e t o our rescue? Isn’ t he known t o be close to t he Hom e M inist er? Even otherwise, won’t the case be hushed up, as t he bigw igs are involved, no less t han the Finance M inist er? Perhaps our fears could turn out t o be liars.’ At t hat, she w ent up to Sathyam t o show him the silver lining, and found him st ill at drink. “ How I w ish it com es to that ,” he said, even a lit t le relieved. “ I’m sure all this is bound to fizzle out in the end. Don’t we see, the reports of enquiry comm issions whit ewashing the scandals involving politicians. I’m sure this won’t be any different,” she said, sounding music t o his ears. ‘God willing, if we get out of this hell, we’ll go to Tirupat i, and I get tonsured,” he said feeling a lit tle easy. ‘What ever may be the it ch, never ever grease your palm s,” she ruled for t he future. ‘I’ll resign my job and get int o som e business wit h t hat money,” he said taking her hand. ‘Leave aside morals, I think you deserve to keep the boot y, if only for your mot ive behind grabbing it. And no less, for the way you’re suffering. Now let m e call them so t hat you t oo can divert your m ind,” she said, thought fully. ‘As you’ve given m e hope, let m e relax over a large. Why not you spend som e tim e w ith t hem ,” he said. “ I bet t er do t hat , but do m ind about your drink,” she said, get ting up to change her sari. In t im e, as he drank out that large, it daw ned on Sat hyam t hat the calamit y of the mom ent had brought Roopa emotionally closer to him than ever before. With his spirit s having soured thus, as if to steady him self, he m ade one m ore ‘large’. ----- Having dragged her feet all the way t o Sandhya’s house, finding it locked, a disappointed Roopa, nursing hopes of their early return, clung on t o the gat e for long. How ever, at lengt h, caught bet w een hope and despair, she felt as if her head was splitt ing into half and in t he end as her w eary legs took the hom eward path, she t hought , ‘What a m iserable day.’ Thus reaching hom e in disappointm ent, she sank int o t he sofa in exhaust ion. How ever, in tim e, gripped by an impulsive need for com pany, t o shed her m elancholic overburden, she w ent up to Sathyam , and found him emptying the bott le int o his glass. “ Why don’t you st op that god-dam n drink and start showing som e concern for m e?” she said in irritation in spit e of herself. ‘There’s no way I can help you now, w hy don’ t you too help yourself w ith a drink or t wo?” he said invitingly. “ Why not, if that makes it a litt le bet ter?” she said w it hout second thought s. When she returned w ith a glass, he looked at her am usedly, and as she poured for herself from the fresh bott le, he stared at her wide-eyed. “ Haven’t I failed you all t hese years!” he said. “ Bett er lat e than never, isn’t it w ell said?” she sm iled, as she sipped that Scot ch. “ You’re a sport really and I love you for that . I knew that, the mom ent I saw you,” he said in all adm iration. “ Don’t I know that?” she said, turning coy. “ How did you turn into a hot chick from a cold fish?” he said, at length. “ Why rake up t he past now?” she smiled. “ Tell m e w hat has caused it ,” he said, suddenly seized with curiosit y. “ As one can’t drink from an empt y glass, one can’t love wit h a lifeless heart ,” she said. “ Show m e t he other half of your glassful life,” he said. “ Know t hat it’s for m y eyes only?” she said, rolling her eyes. “ As t hat spices up my life t ell m e about its recipe,” he persist ed nevertheless. “ Take it, the essence of m y love is flavoured by cupid’ s passion,” she said, as she w inked at him . “ You’re a hard nut to crack anyway,” he said, giving up his probing. “ What about your dinner” she said, ext ending her hand to him . “ I haven’t space even for a m orsel,” he said, feeling his tum m y. “ I’m too tipsy to even eat; I wonder how you can drink like a fish, and yet remain st eady!” she said drinking to the dregs. “ Isn’t it t he best complim ent ever from you,” he sm iled heart ily. “ Then pay back w it h a peg,” she held her glass. “ You’re game, really,” he said, obliging her. “ Only t o those who raise the bar,” she said in a drawling way, rem em bering her lover’s averm ent. “ Soon, you may beat m e at my own gam e,” he said in aw e; as she gulped half from t he glass at one go. “ Wait and see,” she winked at him . “ I’ve always felt that I could’ve w on your love had I obliged you then,” he said holding her hand. “ Why rake up t he past ; as we’re happy anyway,” she smiled. “ But st ill, w e wouldn’t have lost what w e’ve lost in those three years,” he said m elancholically. “ Let bygones be bygones,” she said dream ily. “ You don’t know how I crave for your love; sadly you’ve never really known m e,” he said ruefully. ‘” I was beside m yself then but I value your love now ,” she said taking his hand. “ Why not you study m edicine now,” he suggest ed in hope. ‘It’s too lat e, anyway, but your consent t hat night could’ve m ade all the difference,” she said resignedly. “ I’m sorry, what else I can say now,” he said feeling bad. “ Any way, that’s life, full of ifs and buts,” she said. “ Can you ever pardon me?” he said taking her hand. “ I think all of us, in spit e of our faults, are pardonable,” she said, pressing his hand. “ I always felt guilty on t hat score and that inhibited m e with you,” he said w ithdrawing his hand, overcom e by remorse all again. ‘I was aware of that, but I couldn’t help it , anyway it’ s all different now, right ,” she said reaching for his hand again. ‘You’re the life of m y life,” he said, pressing her hand. ‘Thank you, but st op it now, at least for my sake,’ she t ried to dissuade him, as he w as mixing som e more for him . ‘Why don’ t you sleep in the hall tonight , I like to drink a lit t le longer,” he said pleadingly. “ Ok, good night then, but if you feel hungry wake m e up,” she said yaw ning, and picking up her pillow, she went into t he hall. Having had som e curd rice with a mango pickle, she t ook t o the m akeshift bed, and as soon as she hit the pillow , she fell asleep. Soon however, Sathyam in excit em ent woke her up saying, “ I’ve a brainwave Roopa; with that boot y, you can open a nursing hom e and serve t he sick. That way t he bad m oney would serve a good cause, and above all, it will help m e get rid of m y guilt . Please don’t say no.” “ Oh, what a love, I’ll do anything for you now ,” she said, hugging him t ight ly. “ Let’ s m ove away t he money to safet y tomorrow it self; who knows, there could be a raid soon,” he said excitedly. “ Lie down here,” she moved away t o accom modat e him. “ Let m e celebrate my Eureka mom ent, t hree cheers,” he kissed her good night. Having bid him good night all again, an intoxicat ed Roopa fell into an excit ing slum ber. Chapter 38 Subdued Beginning At seven t he next m orning, Roopa w oke up to Yadam ma’s buzzer, w ith a hangover, only t o realize that Sathyam was st ill in bed. At that, as she began t o brush her t eet h, Yadam ma set out to sweep t he staircase. Soon, as Roopa was at preparing coffee decoction for them and Sathyam, for he start ed having bed coffee for som et im e then, Yadam ma began sweeping the hall. At lengt h, while Roopa in the kit chen was keeping w at ch over t he boiling m ilk, Yadamma w ent int o the bedroom to sweep it as w ell. Shortly thereaft er as Yadam ma, taking ayya t o be dead, raised an alarm, Roopa rushed t o him in panic and felt his pulse in vain, and at that, as she fell unconscious over him , fearing the worst , Yadamma rushed wit h the news t o the Raja Raos st ill in bed. Reaching post -hast e, t he nonplussed couple found t heir benumbed lover lay on her husband’s body. However, readily realizing t hat Roopa was breat hing st ill, Raja Rao hurried Sandhya to fet ch som e wat er to splash her into her senses. Thus in tim e, as Roopa opened her eyes, Sandhya took her m at e endearingly into her lap, even as Raja Rao caressed the bereaved in assurance. Even in her st at e of shock, Roopa found their t ouch reassuring and began t o feel solaced by that . There could be mom ent s in life when one can feel em pathy in a feeling touch of the concerned than a score of sym pat het ic words from them . “ What ’s t his tragedy?” sobbed Sandhya, inducing a flood of t ears from Roopa’s eyes. “ Yest erday he was upset and w ent on drinking till m idnight , oh, I can’t believe he is no more in the m orning,” cried Roopa inconsolably. Looking at the two empty bott les of Chivas Regal lying near the bed, said Raja Rao gravely, “ M aybe, he died of excessive drinking; perhaps you could’ve stopped him at som e point .” “ What do you m ean? Can one really die of drink?” Roopa said, perplexed. “ As it appears, sadly, he drank him self to death,” said Raja Rao, staring at Sat hyam ’s body gravely. “ But why didn’t you send for us all day?” said Sandhya. “ You were not at hom e when I cam e in t he evening, and unable to bear the tension, I m yself had a couple of drinks, and slept off. Oh, if only I knew,” said Roopa ruefully. “ That m ight ’ve saved a fine soul for us. But as t hey say, God w on’t keep Him self away from good souls for long. Wonder why it doesn’t occur to Him that the world needs such, even more!” said Sandhya bogged down wit h tears. “ What else w e can do now than braving t he cruelt y of fat e?” said Raja Rao, consoling t hem . “ Oh, how fat e has chosen m e as the villain in his life. What an irony our life has t urned out to be! While I slight ed him all t hrough, he died burdening m e with his magnanim ity,” said Roopa m elancholically. “ Stop feeling guilt y dear, aft er all, he died with a feeling of being loved by you. That’s w hat m att ers t o his soul and to your conscience as well,” said Sandhya cajolingly. “ M aybe that’s the saving grace of m y life with him,” said Roopa, staring at Sat hyam ’s corpse. “ It ’s t im e we call the police,” said Raja Rao to Tara who cam e by then. ‘Leave all that to me, and take care of her,” said Tara, though beside herself. At that, as Roopa realised that the police w ould com e t o take away the body for post mort em , the irony of t he tragedy daw ned on her. ‘How he feared he would be arrested, but t hey would be here soon, t o take away his body. What if they revisit t o confiscat e his booty as well?’ she thought feeling sad about it all. Then, having recalled how relieved Sathyam was at his brainwave, she resolved, ‘No, I can’t let that happen, if only to see his soul rest in the Sathyam M emorial Clinic.’ Thus, closeting with Raja Rao and Sandhya, she narrated all that happened, and concluded, “ He t old m e that he kept that m oney in the at tic. We shall rem ove that before t hey st art looking for it.” As Raja Rao and Sandhya shared her sentim ent and volunteered to shoulder her burden, the prospect of her im mortalizing Sathyam’s nam e through a clinic enabled her t o face the calam ity w ith equanim it y. Shortly t hereaft er, Tara cam e back, and Sandhya w ent hom e to t end to Saroja. Soon as the Police began invest igating into Sat hyam ’s death, so as t o assist them, Raja Rao left Roopa to Tara’s care. “ You know that I look life st raight in it s face,” said Tara in undert one to Roopa. “ You should welcome his death though in a weird way. Understand t hat he lived believing t hat you’ve been fait hful to him and died before realising t hat he was cuckolded that t oo by Sandhya’s husband. Don’t fool yourself; it would be only a mat ter of tim e before he w ould’ve got w ind of your peccadillo and how that, com ing aft er Prasad’ s hurt could’ve shat t ered him you can w ell im agine. No less, can’t you visualize t he shame of it w ould’ve made you t hree insane; so take it that death saved him that fat e and served your love. And that’s life!” “ Then you saved m y love and now it’s m y soul, oh, how I ow e you Tara,” said Roopa sinking into her lap. Soon, as Roopa comprehend the import of Tara’s second t heory, she readily rose from her lap and impulsively kissed her in her mouth as if t o savour the tongue that ut t ered those words. Though taken aback at that but having got t he tast e of Roopa’s love, Tara herself was im pelled t o give her t he m easure of her own affect ion t o her. Soon, as Tara’s outlook of it all insensibly gave her a new perspective of Sat hyam ’s death, Roopa began t o see her life in a fresh light . And late that night , to ret rieve the t reasure that Sathyam had left behind, Raja Rao, looked by his w omen, had crouched int o the loft and thought disconcertingly, ‘But for the sentim ent attached to it , how disheart ening all t his could be!’ ----The mourners’ num ber had swelled by the next day, what with the arrival of the relat ives and friends from far and wide. While Ramu helped Raja Rao to keep things moving, Raju ran errands for his brot hers-in-law and others. When the body was brought back from the mort uary, while a shocked Pathrudu t ried t o console Durgamm a, she w ent delirious over it . “ Why inst ead of him, didn’t God take m e away? How could He be so cruel to m y son in the m idst of his life? Did he ever harm even a flea, all his life?” she cried inconsolably. But while Janaki cried herself hoarse t hat her daught er got widow ed so young, Ramaiah found him self burdened by guilt , ‘Had I not then brainwashed her into marrying him , I might be busy now searching mat ches for her. Oh, w hat a fat e it is.’ Thus, it was left to the Kamalakars, together wit h Sandhya, to condole Roopa, as Chandrika was yet to arrive. ‘No doubt it’s sad, but you need t o be brave,” said Kamalakar, pat t ing Roopa. “ Sadly, it ’s all over for Sat hyam but as w e’re all w ith you, you shouldn’t lose heart ” said Dam ayanthi, taking Roopa into her lap. “ That ’s t rue, w e would treat you like our second daught er,” said Kamalakar, overwhelm ed by Roopa’s plight at such a young age. ‘‘I love you all the m ore for your love and understanding for her,” said Sandhya moved by her parents’ empathy for her friend. “ We’re proud of you darling for your comm itm ent to her,” said Kamalakar, pat t ing Sandhya, “ Not t o speak of yours as w ell,” said Damayanthi to Roopa. “ I never experienced a like m om ent, your love light ens as w ell as burdens m e,” said Roopa, shedding t ears of sorrow and joy in equal m easure. “ That ’s what makes your life so unique,” said Sandhya. “ And your friendship so singular,” said Damayanthi. By t he mid-day, w hen everything was in place for Sathyam ’s last rit es, Roopa’s eyes w ere left with no t ears to shed and when Sathyam’s body was lift ed on a bamboo st ret cher, Pat hrudu, with a pot of em bers, led the funeral procession. As t he corpse was t hus taken away, leaving the females behind, Sandhya held a benumbed Roopa from collapsing. Consigning his son’s body t o t he flam es on the funeral pyre, Pat hrudu felt the quirk of dest iny, ‘How our roles have got reversed by fate!’ As Raja Rao saw Sathyam ’s body engulfed in flames, he t hought, ‘How t ragic it is that the t rium ph of love was snatched away by the hand of deat h!’ One by one, t he kith and kin, with heavy heart, took leave of the bereaved, leaving Roopa, her family and her in-law s to fend for them selves. Cam e the t w elfth day, the penultim at e day of t he rit uals, and Ramaiah t ook it upon him self t o sort out t he mat t ers concerning Roopa’s future. “ Sad though it is for the depart ed,” Ramaiah addressed the assem blage, “ life must go on for t he living, and w e all know about life’s plight without m eans. Though it may seem inappropriat e, as our m inds now are governed by magnanim it y and our heart s overflow w ith sym pathy to the survivor, it is t he right moment to sort out the m undane issues.” “ I couldn’ t have said bet ter, as we’ve lost our son, we would look aft er her as our daughter,” said Pathrudu approvingly. “ I’ve no doubt about that , but you may agree that she could be m ore at hom e in her parental house?” said Ram aiah t o Pat hrudu. “ It ’s up to her but wherever she stays, she inherit s our property,” said Pathrudu t hought fully. “ I can never thank you enough for your affect ion, normally I would’ve loved to serve you both, but I’ve a m ission for his m emory and that keeps me here,” Roopa tentatively said t o Pat hrudu. “ What do you m ean? How can we leave you alone?” said Janaki, taken aback. “ When I’m around, how can she be alone? M oreover, it’ s far easier for her to recover from her t ragedy staying with m e, and she needs our support to accom plish her mission,” said Sandhya spiritedly. “ We all know how you love her but st ill, it won’ t be appropriat e t hat she stays w ith you,” said Janaki. “ What ever it is, I need t hem to fulfill his last wish,” said Roopa as though pleading for t heir understanding. Fearing t hat the discussion m ight take an ugly t urn, not wanting t o em barrass t hem selves and the others as w ell, Raja Rao and Sandhya slipped out, fully aware that, in spit e of all the persuasions and dissuasions of others, Roopa w ould rem ain st eadfast t o fulfill the dictat es of her life which fat e had fused w it h theirs. ‘No cause is a right cause for a widow to st ay aw ay from her family, m oreover, it w ould scandalize all of us,” said Durgam ma indignantly. “ What she says is true,” said Janaki. ‘What serves her int erest s is what m at t ers to her life and not what goes w it h your prejudices,” said Chandrika spiritedly. ‘Why do you want to rub your quirky ideas on her?’ said Janaki frowning upon her rebellious daught er. “ It ’s her life so let her decide about it herself,” said Raju. “ You’re too young to air your views,” said Janaki dism issively. “ Why, he represent s the fut ure while you’re all but the past and only his view s are going t o count in the days to com e,” said Chandrika in support of her sist er’s cause. “ Know w e’re dealing w it h the present ,” said an exasperat ed Janaki. “ But her life is about her future and none could cat er to it bett er than Sandhyaakka ,” said Raju, taking up the cudgels for Roopa. “ What is to be done w hen children pay no heed to our word anym ore, what else w e can do t han to com e here to st ay w it h her,” said Janaki, as though relent ing. “ Is that to jail her? What ’s her crim e, ot her than being born a wom an w hom fat e w idowed when young? It’ s tim e you give up your jailer m ind-set when it com es to your daughters’ lives,” said Chandrika. “ Oh, now t he children don’t want to st ay with t heir own parents!” said Janaki, playing her t rum p card. “ In t hat case, let Raju st ay with her, it may help him in his st udies as well.” “ Why didn’t you think of it when my brother-in- law was alive?” count ered Raju spirit edly. “ Enough of it now , for she heard us all and she’s old enough to underst and what’s best for her. Let ’s leave it to her, for she’s the worst affect ed of us all,” said Ram aiah, signaling the end fearing the discussion m ight turn acrimonious in the end. “ I’ll st ay w it h them,” said Roopa with a sense of conviction that surprised all, and at t hat, as Durgamm a wanted t o prot est, Pathrudu signaled her into silence. “ So be it,’ said Ramaiah in a way that drew no furt her comm ent from those present, in spit e of their reservations about her scandalizing proposit ion. ‘What is happiness and unhappiness all about?’ Roopa began reminiscing, st ruggling t o sleep that night . ‘ Haven’t I experienced them bot h in equal m easure? Aft er all, everything in life has to do w ith one’s stat e of mind, isn’t it? But then, won’t social const raint s dictat e one’ s proclivit ies to fashion individual at t it udes? Oh, poor Sathyam , w hat a victim he was, of his psyche, shaped by t he circum stances of his life. Why, to begin w ith, his parent s stunt ed his grow th, and w it h m e too denying him the w ifely hype, he went wayward in the end and then, how t he vicissitudes of life victim ized him .’ ‘That’s the guilt with which I’ve t o learn t o live,’ she thought, as she recalled her role in his fall. ‘Was he not a vict im of human dishonest y as w ell, including mine and the inequity of life in general? Are not the Prasads of t he world having t he cake of life and eating it t oo? Do they really, in a way? Why, for all that, I’m no less a beneficiary of deceit , although by default, is it not so? Is it possible t hat Tara’s life is the radical exam ple to m ake it equitable to one and all? But is it really? What ever, I ow e her m y ease of conscience to her way of looking at m y life, don’t I? By the way am I in love w it h her too even as she has a crush on our man. God knows w hat com es out of t hat . Well, it appears that life t ends to manifest it self m ostly in ironies, w on’t it? While I married him in the hope of becom ing a doctor, didn’t he bequeath m e a fortune to build a clinic! How fat e has taken off at a tangent in my life!’ As if to ease herself from the burden of guilt , she turned her thought s to the gift of her life - love, ‘Won’t I be shift ing t o their place tomorrow, t o st art life afresh as their woman in a live-in? Well, it’ s only a m at t er of t im e before the world get s used to our arrangement , isn’t it ? But would I be cont ent with the m enage a t rois forever, won’t I want to be M rs. Roopa Rao at som e way in life? Would Sandhya then object to his bigam y? Oh no, never, life in the offing would be thrilling and vibrant, with Saroja t oo propping it up. God w illing, won’t I beget her sibling? How I’ve been craving to have a boy from him . Soon, m y degree too would be on hand as if t o underscore my changed status. Oh, so much pain and as much pleasure, even before I turn tw ent y-three! But t hen, that’s life as Tara oft en put s it .’ ‘Am I not being m ean to envision bliss in my condit ion?’ she felt as her line of t hinking perturbed her. ‘Won’t all this amount t o coveting life w hen m y man is just dead? Does it mean that I should renounce the w orld and turn into a sanyasin, but of w hat avail is life in a vegetable exist ence? That besides, won’t m y move keep alive the age-old prejudices against young widow s t hat much longer? Above all, what about t hem , w ithout m e, can life ever be the sam e for them ? Haven’t I led t hem into believing t hat I would never desert t hem , what ever it takes for that?’ Then guided by her innat e instinct s, she t ried to reason her situation all over again. ‘Is it fair to expect t he living to lead a life of gloom in the shadow s of t he dead? Doesn’ t life impose it s ow n com pulsions on the living, regardless of t he sentim ent t o the depart ed? But then, how can I ever reconcile my own craving for life wit h the m emory of him? Well, by keeping his love alive in the Sat hyam M em orial Clinic.’ As she began feeling easy with her line of thinking, on second thought s she felt that she was being hypocritical but yet she resolved her posit ion in t he end, ‘What ever it may be, aft er all, I’m a human and a wom an at t hat , with all t hat goes w ith it . Well, let m e live normally and lead life like a wom an. That’ s all, no m ore, and no less t o it .’ While she sank int o a reconciled sleep at that , all that night, her parent s and t he inlaws had a t roubled tim e on her account . The next day, after everyone had left, som e upset by her conduct, and others apprehensive about her future, Sandhya and Raja Rao led Roopa to the assigned place of her dest iny. Leaving t his narrat ive behind, in tim e, Roopa’s m ourning would have ended, enabling her to begin a life of subdued bliss.