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- Homebuyer love letters often include personal information about the prospective buyer and their family.
- Choosing an offer based on protected class information revealed in a buyer letter could violate the Fair Housing Act.
- Sellers should think twice about accepting buyer love letters, and buyers should look for other ways to strengthen their offer.
Some homebuyers send "love letters" to the sellers of homes they want to buy to try to sway the seller into picking their offer. The theory behind this practice is that in a market where homes get multiple offers, sometimes well above the asking price, a personalized letter plays to the seller's emotions and gives the buyer an edge, even if they aren't able to outbid other offers.
But real estate experts are increasingly advising against these love letters, because they have the potential to violate fair housing laws.
Are buyer love letters illegal?
While it's not illegal to send or receive homebuyer love letters, the content could get sellers into trouble if they make their selling decisions based on certain information contained in the letters they get.
When homebuyers send love letters, they'll often write about the things they like about the home and how well-suited the home, property, or location is for their family. They might mention how excited they are for their young kids to play in the backyard or that the kitchen is perfect for entertaining their family and friends. Sometimes, they'll even include a picture of their family.
The goal is to create an emotional connection with the seller. But the information a buyer shares in their letter could encourage housing discrimination. Because of this, the National Association of Realtors (NAR), the top trade organization for real estate professionals, discourages this practice.
Buyer love letters could violate the Fair Housing Act
Housing discrimination occurs when an individual is denied access to housing based on certain protected characteristics. The Fair Housing Act is the federal law that bans housing discrimination based on race, color, national origin, religion, sex, gender identity, sexual orientation, familial status, or disability.
Your state or city may have its own fair housing rules that you'll need to be aware of as well.
"If the seller's choice of buyer is influenced by the buyer's race, national origin, religion, or other characteristic protected by law, the seller could violate fair housing law," says Patrick Newton, a spokesperson for NAR.
In a video advising real estate professionals on buyer love letter best practices, NAR senior counsel and director of legal affairs Charlie Lee gives the example of a buyer sending a letter with a picture of their family in front of a Christmas tree, which reveals their religion and creates a potential fair housing issue for the seller.
Newton says that NAR isn't aware of any fair housing complaints based on buyer love letters, likely because prospective buyers have no way of knowing what the seller's decision-making process looked like, or why they chose one offer over another. But it's still enough of a risk that NAR discourages the practice.
In 2021, Oregon attempted to ban buyer love letters, but in May 2022 a federal judge ruled that the law was unconstitutional.
Buyer love letter best practices
Selling decisions should be based on the financial aspects of the offer. If you're a seller who's considering accepting love letters from prospective buyers, you might want to consult with a lawyer and thoroughly document your decision-making process.
It's possible that both the seller and their real estate agent could face legal action for choosing an offer based on protected characteristics.
"The seller could be liable if it could be shown that the seller chose an offer based on the buyer's protected personal characteristic," Newton says. "If the listing agent were aware of the seller's decision-making process and continued to facilitate the deal, the listing agent may be held liable as well."
If you're a buyer looking for a competitive edge in a hot market or trying to win a bidding war, it's much safer and likely more effective to work on putting forward your strongest offer on the home you want. If you do write a love letter, focus on objective information about the home.
To avoid violating fair housing laws, Newton says that love letters need to be "silent on all personal characteristics covered by federal, state, and local fair housing laws."
6 better ways to make your offer stand out
Remember that a home purchase is ultimately a financial transaction — even with all the emotions that are tied up in it. There are plenty of ways buyers can sweeten the deal and make a more attractive offer without appealing to the seller's emotions.
Some options to help your offer stand out include:
- Offer more money if you can afford it: Don't start with a lowball offer. Sellers often receive multiple offers within a few days of listing, so put in your highest offer from the start.
- Waive contingencies: Standard purchase offers come with certain contingencies baked into the contract, such as an inspection contingency, which allows the buyer to negotiate or back out of the sale if a home inspection reveals serious issues. Waiving some of these contingencies can make your offer cleaner and assure the seller that you're less likely to back out of the sale — but be sure you understand the financial implications of doing so.
- Be flexible on a closing date: It's natural to want to close on your new home as soon as you can, but working with the sellers to meet their preferred date can give you leverage if you aren't able to offer more money.
- Put up a larger earnest money deposit: When your offer is accepted, you'll put down an earnest money deposit. This sum shows sellers that you're serious about buying the home and acts as insurance in case you back out of the sale for a reason not stipulated in your contract. Offering a larger earnest money deposit can make your offer more attractive. If you're looking for help financing your new home, Business Insider keeps a list of the best mortgage lenders.
- Include an escalation clause: An escalation clause states that you're willing to increase your offer by a certain amount if the seller receives a higher bid, up to your stated maximum.
- Offer free occupancy after closing: If the seller needs to stay in the home for a little longer after closing, consider offering them free occupancy while they prepare to move out or complete their own home purchase.
Understanding the importance of a letter to a home seller
Despite all the legal considerations around buyer love letters, they can often make a difference when buying a home. Here's what to know if you're considering doing it.
Why write a letter to the seller?
If a home particularly appeals to you or meets your needs or you're in a special circumstance that can't be otherwise conveyed, a love letter might be a way to do it.
Love letters can also help your offer standout and feel more personal. This can be important to sellers who are leaving behind a property they've known and loved for a long time.
When to include a personal letter
You might want to include a personal letter with your offer if there's extra information you want to include for the seller. Maybe the home has the exact features you're looking for, or you love what the seller has done with the kitchen. You might also want to use one if you're in a special buying circumstance — maybe you're on a tight timeline or you've been searching for a long time and had a lot of trouble finding a suitable home in the area.
Key elements of a successful home seller letter
A good love letter should be direct, personalized to the house, and concise. Let the seller know why you want the property, why you're the best fit to buy it, and any other pertinent info. Here's what to include:
Personal introduction
First, address the seller personally. Use their name and the proper titles they want to be called (Mr., Mrs., etc.) You can ask your agent if you're not sure here.
Express your interest
Tell the seller what you love about the house and why it would be the perfect place for you to put down roots. Again, be careful about divulging information that could lead to Fair Housing violations. Keep the letter largely about the home's merits, rather than your own personal details.
Highlight your qualifications
You can talk about your qualifications as a buyer, though. You can mention that you're pre-approved, have had homeownership experience before, have a large down payment ready, and are prepared with all the documentation to make the closing process easy and efficient. This is often a selling point for homeowners looking to move fast.
Share your vision for the home
What will you do with the property once you live there? Are you excited to build a pool in the yard or move your books into the spacious study? Call out specific details about the home and the possibilities you see there.
Be respectful and sincere
You never know who is on the other end of reading your letter, so make sure your note respectfully addresses the reader and is sincere and authentic. Don't make things up or try to over-sell yourself. The reader will likely see through this.
Sample letter to a home seller
Need inspiration for your letter? See these examples that steer clear of details that would violate the Fair Housing Act.
Example 1: First-time homebuyer
Dear Mr./Mrs. [SELLER LAST NAME],
We have been on the hunt for our first home for [X] weeks/months, and your home stopped us in our tracks. It's beautiful, well cared for, and checks all the boxes for our household. We especially loved the open kitchen, large backyard, and [SOME OTHER UNIQUE FEATURE OF THE HOME.] I personally can't wait to move my book collection into the lovely library upstairs.
We are prepared to offer you the full list price for the property and are already pre-approved for a mortgage loan in this amount. We have our down payment and documentation ready and are working with our loan officer to ensure we can close quickly and efficiently.
We hope you'll choose us to be the next owners of this house you have clearly loved so much. Thanks for your consideration,
[BUYER NAME]
Example 2: Relocating for Work
Dear Mr./Mrs. [SELLER LAST NAME],
I'm relocating to your area for work within the next [X] weeks/months, and as a professional [JOB], your home stood out to me as the perfect fit. It's beautiful, well cared for, and conveniently located, and its [SOME FEATURE] is a standout. I'd love to purchase it from you at a price of [$$].
As I'm on a tight timeline, I'm prepared to move fast to make this transaction a reality. I come pre-approved for a mortgage loan, I have my down payment and documentation ready, and I am working with my loan officer to ensure we can close quickly and efficiently.
Thanks for your consideration,
[BUYER NAME]
Common mistakes to avoid
Buyer letters can be challenging to write. To make sure yours is as successful as possible, avoid these common slip-ups;
Being too emotional
Saying you love a property is one thing, but you don't need to get too emotional about it. Keep your letter to the point. What do you like about the house? What stands out to you? What plans do you have for it? Stick to what will truly matter to the seller, and keep your personal emotions to yourself.
Overloading with information
Sellers can about two things: the money and that their home will end up in good hands. If something you're writing doesn't pertain to these two items, you can likely omit it from the letter.
Making demands or ultimatums
Your letter should be an opportunity to share a little more context with the seller — not negotiate or make demands of them. Keep those tasks to your real estate agent, and use your letter to tell the seller exactly why you like the home and what you'd do with it.
FAQs on writing a letter to a home seller
A well-written letter could potentially make your offer stand out in a competitive market. Just be careful about violating Fair Housing laws when writing yours.
Include a personal introduction, your interest in the home, your qualifications, and a vision for the property. Avoid divulging information that could lead to Fair Housing concerns.
Keep the letter concise — ideally, one page or less. Remember that sellers may be getting many offers (and many letters) all at once.
A typed letter is generally preferred for readability, but a personal handwritten note can add a nice touch.
