The Fanciest Food, Kitchen, and Cookware Gifts Imaginable

For this price tag, you either get this blender inspired by Sicily, or a round trip ticket to Sicily itself. One will let you cosplay being in Season 2 of The White Lotus, while the other will help you make great smoothies. Your choice.

This nearly $400 pineapple is not gilded in gold, nor does it have a rare interior color. It does not taste like another food, either. Quite frankly, it looks like any other pineapple you can purchase at the grocery store. But it does have a trademarked name and lets you gift someone the social media bragging rights of trying a nearly $400 pineapple.

Nothing screams “I care about the environment” like this bedazzled $1,200 water cup that looks like a gently deranged Pinterest craft. You would probably save more turtles by donating the money, but hey, at least this comes with a metal straw?

This $1,500 drink fridge has multiple temperature zones so that you can store your Two Buck Chuck next to your Krug and your Athletic beer by your Lacroix collection,  all in the same fridge. That’s called having range.

There is nothing like devoting counter space to yet another coffee machine that requires highly specific capsules, but hey! This one is different — it brews only cold coffee. (Nitro cold brew, cold brew, and cold espresso to be specific.)

A great croissant is generally around $7, but a great croissant dish is $380. Made of porcelain, this shockingly realistic replica of everyone’s favorite laminated baked good is a fun way to store butter or whatever cash you might have left after spending $380 on a croissant-shaped dish.

This bar of chocolate, made from a type of cacao apparently only found in Ecuador, has four servings according to the label on the package. That works out to about $57.50 per serving, or nearly $27 per bite.

This life-sized bag will not clear your skin or “detox” your body the way celery juice evangelists claim, but it does offer you a generous (and discreet) amount of space to stash your McDonald’s order while looking like a farmers market girly.

Why bother with farm-to-table fruit, where there is directly from the Shizuoka Prefecture-to-door step melons? While on the outside they look like your average supermarket melon, these fruits had to pass a series of tests that sound more complicated than the MCAT before they could even be packaged for sale.

Rice is one of the best and cheapest ways to feed yourself and a crowd. So it only makes sense to cook the grain in a rice cooker that costs as much as a tasting menu dinner at a Michelin-starred restaurant.                             This rice cooker from Cuckoo is low key the Iron Man of rice cookers and allegedly has 23 different cooking settings to make things like brown rice, white rice, and perhaps most importantly, baby food. 

This coffee table book about wine will set you back as much as a case of very good burgundy — but there is no actual wine included. Instead, the book arrives in a wooden crate and comes with its own pair of white gloves for handling and yet another tote bag. Joy   

The device is the Lamborghini of the pepper mill world, and it’s the best gift for that person on your list that already has everything they could ever need — except an exceptional pepper mill. The company claims the mill grinds more pepper in each crank so that you can season a steak in “7 cranks instead of 70.” Personally, I love that it helps me season Bagel Bites in three cranks instead of 30.

N/A drinks were created to be a more inclusive product. Only a rare few can order bottles of bubbly for over $100. The venn diagram where these two groups overlap is small, but it exists, along with this $119 bottle of booze-free bubbly made with French Chardonnay grapes.

Sometimes, like that one guy on TikTok, you need to eat a whole cucumber, and sometimes you just need your house to smell like one. Light it alongside a tomato-scented candle, and your house can smell like the inside of a Sweetgreen for the price of hundreds of actual cucumbers.

Is your problem that you can freeze cubes of ice for cocktails but not perfectly round spheres? Monogram wants to solve that for you. For a mere $1,500, you can get their Forge heated ice press (the only heated ice press available in the U.S.!)  which creates perfect, 2 1/2’ spheres of slow-melting ice in less than 60 seconds. There is no greater flex in life than having perfect cocktail ice on demand.

If there was ever such a thing as a status pastry this annual panettone from Gucci is exactly that. The luxury fashion house designs a new tin every year to house, what is essentially a loaf of sweetened airy bread from Italy. This year the flavor is super classic with dried fruit and raisins. The tin plus the panettone is  an even hotter commodity than this season’s latest Gucci purse.    

The childhood rhyme asks, “Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?” But in the case of this handmade ceramic jar crafted in Italy, the security risk is less about the American-made biscottis stuffed inside and rather the jar itself, which looks like a participation trophy for a fancy kids soccer league in Italy.