Viz Magazine

Roger’s PROFANISAURUS

f0042-01.jpg

profanisaurus@viz.co.uk

aggrophobia n. psych. Irrational fear of getting your head kicked in in Bolton town centre on a Saturday night.

as there is an investigation ongoing, I will not be commenting further exclam. Phrase used frequently by MPs, Post Office bosses and those who have catastrophically followed-through.

backyard ultra 1. n. Particularly gruelling and competitive running event. 2. n. A similarly paced evening of taking a lady up the council, after which you lose the ability to stand up and have to sit under a foil blanket.

blooter scooter n. Mobility vehicle piloted by a stout fellow wearing a wifebeater and a pair of slippers. See also giro-copter, nanbretta, lard rover etc.

brown uppercut n. A particularly vicious punch from the invisible man that is dropped at close range and shoots up the victim’s nostrils, causing his head to rock back and his legs to go shaky, shortly before he falls over for a count of ten. Also ‘Enry’s ‘ammer, cleft hook.

bunker buster 1. n. A heavy bomb, eg. The GBU-57 guided 30,000lb Massive Ordnance Penetrator that can pentrate 200 feet through hardened concrete. 2. n. A dense shite causing a destructive splash out the pan.

cake worrier n. A fat lass.

CAUC/cauc acronym. Complete And Utter Cunt. ‘Hello there, Jim, you cauc.’’Nick-nick! Nick-nick!’

changement au Chatelet 1. n. Fr. Fancy continental journey in Paris, where a boulevardier transfers at from the pink Line 7 to the brown Line 11. 2. n. Fr. Changing at Baker Street.

  Songs like . Because “every

You’re reading a preview, subscribe to read more.

More from Viz Magazine

Viz Magazine1 min read
50 QUID CRAPTIC CROSSWORD No. 342
6 Female licks pisslips (5) 8 Authority contains boll-ocks (8) 10 Clopper on the floor poked with love – a drop of Rachel Riley? (9) 11 Spot on top of cock, tool pulled back before beginning on treatment (5) 12 Showing of EastEnders, perhaps, where t
Viz Magazine3 min read
Home Alone Again!
VIZ – TOPS FOR TINSELTOWN EXCLUSIVES! MADCAP comedy Home Alone – the story of 8-year-old Kevin McCallister accidentally abandoned by his family – was the smash Christmas movie of 1990, grossing over $476 million at the box office. Two years later, it
Viz Magazine2 min read
Your Starter for Ten (Commandments)
SUCCESSFUL Archbishop of Canterburys must know the difference between right and wrong, and the way they do this is by learning the Ten Commandments. Any AB of C worth his salt will be able to rattle off all ten of the God-given rules for living witho

Related Books & Audiobooks