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    Holidays on Ice
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    Holidays on Ice
    Unavailable
    Holidays on Ice
    Audiobook4 hours

    Holidays on Ice

    Written by David Sedaris

    Narrated by David Sedaris, Ann Magnuson and Amy Sedaris

    4/5

    ()

    Currently unavailable

    Currently unavailable

    About this audiobook

    David Sedaris's beloved holiday collection is new again with six more pieces, including a never before published story. Along with such favoritesas the diaries of a Macy's elf and the annals of two very competitive families, are Sedaris's tales of tardy trick-or-treaters ("Us and Them"); the difficulties of explaining the Easter Bunny to the French ("Jesus Shaves"); what to do when you've been locked out in a snowstorm ("Let It Snow"); the puzzling Christmas traditions of other nations ("Six to Eight Black Men"); what Halloween at the medical examiner's looks like ("The Monster Mash"); and a barnyard secret Santa scheme gone awry ("Cow and Turkey").

    No matter what your favorite holiday, you won't want to miss celebrating it with the author who has been called "one of the funniest writers alive" (Economist).
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHachette Audio
    Release dateOct 1, 2008
    ISBN9781600244889
    Unavailable
    Holidays on Ice
    Author

    David Sedaris

    David Sedaris is the author of the internationally bestselling Barrel Fever, Naked, Holidays on Ice, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, and Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk.

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    Reviews for Holidays on Ice

    4/5

    2,349 ratings91 reviews

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    • 3/5
      Sedaris is not for everybody. Wildly divergent is a modest way to describe the reviews on Goodreads. The humor is dry and sarcastic and occasionally cute, a little can go a long way. It doesn’t help that this collection feels kinda tossed together. There is a holiday theme but that feels thin and the stories vary in quality—you can feel that some have been sitting around longer than others. The collection starts on a high with THE SANTALAND DIARIES—a fantastic sarcastic classic. The next story SEASON’S GREETINGS TO OUR FRIENDS & FAMILY!!! was a departure but I enjoyed it—lucky to catch the tone at the beginning like a small wave. I can see how it would be easy to read the whole story and never quite get in sync with it’s slow decline into madness. After those two my mind started to wander. The next four stories making up the original book were just okay with DINAH, THE CHRISTMAS WHORE rising above the others. This edition included a batch of 6 new cast off stories that were passable—the exception being SIX TO EIGHT BLACK MEN. This achieved the writer’s dream of repeating the same punch line and it getting funnier every time. If you like this at all, I’d recommend ME TALK PRETTY ONE DAY which is more consistent and often hilarious.
    • 5/5
      I love David Sedaris' stories. I love them even more when I get to hear him tell them.
    • 4/5
      A bunch nice short stories about the holidays ... fun to see Raleigh as part of the short stories too ...
    • 2/5
      I was expecting to really like this and the collection was off to a decent start with the SantaLand Diaries, but sadly that was the peak of the book. Maybe times have changed since the 90s.

      SantaLand Diaries - 3
      Season's Greetings to our Friends and Family!!! - Could not finish. 0 or 1
      Dinah, the Christmas Whore - 2
      Front Row Center with Thaddeus Bristol - 2
      Based Upon a True Story - 1
      Christmas Means Giving - 2

      So, averaged together that's mathematically 2 stars but only because of SantaLand, and the internet has plenty of "customers suck" stories along similar lines.
    • 2/5
      low-level misanthrope
    • 3/5
      If you like your Christmas stories to be scathing commentaries of our hypocrisy and commercialism then Sedaris is your man. He does it ever so well.
    • 4/5
      A holiday classic for adults that should be returned to every year like "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" or "The Grinch" is for kids. If you have not heard him narrate the Santaland Diaries about his experience as a Macy's elf, then rush to NPR.org and look for the podcast. It is so funny and Christmas comes in second in this secular tale of the commercial reality of the biggest retail holiday of the year. Other pieces in here are also quite funny -- like "Season's Greetings to Our Friends and Family!!!" which is a parody of the Christmas newsletter when life is less than peachy. "Christmas Means Giving" is satire in the extreme as 2 families try to one-up each other in first their selfish and then their selfless approach to the holiday. Won't exactly put you in the holiday spirit, but will joke you out of the holiday stress and strife.
    • 5/5
      It's an unusual time of year to be reading Christmas stories, but this was hilarious and just what I needed right now. Sedaris describes working as an elf for the Santas at Macy's. The best story is about his sister rescuing a work acquaintance at Christmas time. If you need a good laugh, this is for you no matter the time of year.
    • 1/5
      First, humor is something that is hit or miss. People either love your jokes and laugh to the point of tears, or they hate your guts.

      This, to me, wasn't funny.

      I have read so many great things about David Sedaris and when the first story in Holidays on Ice, "Santaland Diaries," was assigned in my Advanced Creative Writing course, I figured it was time for me to finally read his work.

      Honestly, the only reason I even finished reading this book was because it was short.

      I might be in the minority here, but I didn't find it funny and I'm not sure if I'm going to venture into any other Sedaris books any time soon. I almost didn't want to even write this review because in doing so would bring back to my mind all the reasons why I didn't like it. I decided to write this though, because I promised myself I would review all the books I read and I'm not about to stop now.

      So, back to humor.

      Some people love watching cats chase their tails and some pople like dead baby jokes. I am a cat-chasing-tail kind gal. I'm not saying the jokes were bad, but they definitely were not my cup of tea. Making fun of people who come see Santa, for example, is what you do on service industry night at your local bar with co-workers. The whole first story was basically a drunken complaint from a service industry worker and I say this, because I have spent my fair share of time dealing with customers and venting to co-workers over a pitcher of beer. I just didn't want to read about it and I failed to find the humor.

      There are other stories in Holidays on Ice that don't read this way, but there is this sort of shock humor that I don't find appealing. Read the book if you want to find out what I mean. I'm not going to give it all away here.

      I'm a little sad I didn't like this book. Theft by Finding: Diaries (1977-2002) and Me Talk Pretty One Day have been on my TBR for a while now and now I'm unsure if I want to read them. I've read countless reviews on Sedaris and all of them rave about how hilarious this was or how they couldn't stop laughing out loud and here I was pushing myself to finish a book I was desperately hoping would get funny.

      The humor just wasn't for me. Sedaris has a dark, sarcastic and sometimes cynical sense of humor and the few moments that were a little funny were overshadowed by the moments that weren't.
    • 4/5
      I listen to this audiobook at least once every holiday season. While I adore several of the stories, a few others have become skipable in my listening. I just really prefer Sedaris's essays to his fiction. But worth it for "Six to Eight Black Men" as well as his classic essay about working as an elf at Macy's.
    • 5/5
      A holiday tradition.....
    • 3/5
      Sometimes funny, sometimes painful, this satirical collection of short stories and essays about the darkly humorous side of Christmas and other holidays was hit or miss for me.

      My favorites included "Seasons Greetings to Our Friends and Family!!!" which Amazon calls 'a chipper suburban Christmas letter that spirals dizzily out of control', and “Six to Eight Black Men' comparing Dutch and American Christmas customs.

      Although reviews comment favorably on Sedaris's 'perfect deadpan delivery', I found in listening to the audiobook, his tone to be more depressed than deadpan, and listening to several hours was a mood killer for me.

      This is the second Sedaris I have read, and I did enjoy this more than the first. I have another audio of [Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim], on MT TBR, so he'll get one more chance.
      I know he's a favorite of many people, but I'm just not feeling the joy.
    • 4/5
      Another night of the public television fund drive that bounces regular programming, another night with a book. I'm not complaining. Reading is a tremendous joy for me. And, the fact that I am studying for my doctorate means my personal reading time is very limited. Thus, last night was a win-win situation. Public television got to raise much needed funding and I got to have the grand experience of uninterrupted personal reading time. I don't think I could have asked for better bookish company than essayist David Sedaris. His dark, satirical social commentary and autobiographical hijinks got me right into holiday spirits. I'm talking about booze. To survive the holidays it's best to start drinking now and not sober up until January 3rd. Trust me. Go stock up now on wine and books, and settle in under a blanket. Make certain this is one of the books you stock (you'll thank me for the recommendation). I'll send up a flare when it's all clear.
    • 4/5
      Funny short anecdotical stories, sometimes hilarious. For Dutch readers there is a particular interesting one concerning an American's view of Sinterklaas, which leads to an absurd and funny interpretation.
    • 4/5
      This is a mixed bag.....SantaLand Diaries, which i have heard multiple times on NPR, believe it or not, actually made me laugh out loud when reading, which i did not expect. The Awkward Christmas card piece, while uncomfortable was fairly funny. A few of the 6 pieces were just lacking in my opinion, but reading the Diaries made it all worth it....proceed with caution....
    • 5/5
      This book was originally assigned reading for a Creative Non-Fiction class I took as part of a Creative Writing minor in college. We only read a few of the stories, and I always told myself I'd go back and read the whole thing. Now, I finally have. It's been one of those things I've wanted to make a regular Christmas thing for some time, but keep getting sidetracked.

      Of course, "Santaland Diaries" and "Dinah" are my favorites of the collection, as they are based on real life, however, the rest are just as witty and clever. Sedaris creates these situations where real people are baring their souls for some unknown reason, until you get to the end, and find that the situation is beautifully ludicrous and bizarre. This is especially the case in "Seasons Greetings," "Based Upon a True Story," and "Christmas Means Giving," where the narrators are some of the most fascinating but true-to-life people in the world. Sedaris uses what he's observed of the human condition and added an almost Douglas Adams level absurdity to what the suburban middle class will do in certain situations, especially around the Holidays.

      Finally, there's "Front Row Center," in which a theater critic takes on the dubious task of reviewing primary school Christmas plays and takes to the job like a seasoned, bitter professional on Broadway. To me, this is the absolute funniest of the pieces, at least as far as traditional humor goes. Here the humor comes from writer Thaddeus Bristol's brutality towards the acting of school children and the lack of skill in their grade school teachers to put together a "professional" production. The other stories rely on the absolute insanity of the situations for the humor, as the narrators take themselves quite seriously throughout.

      Definitely a fascinating read, and if David Sedaris is your cup of tea (and he won't be for everyone), this one is definitely worth your time.
    • 1/5
      No humor in my book, sadistic and overwrought. Pointing out human foibles without any empathy, merely vicious.
    • 1/5
      Several short stories. My favorite is the SantaLand Diaries,hysterical and brutally honest! Some of the others are downright nasty,creepy anytime of year.Glad I only paid 50 cents for this one. It was worth it tho for Santaland!!!!
    • 3/5
      I listened to the audio recording of David Sedaris reading this book. The story about his time at Macy's working as an elf is definitely worth the read and had me laughing quite a bit. While the other stories are entertaining, the Macy's piece was the most memorable for me. Slightly snarky and always tongue in cheek, this is a very amusing holiday collection.
    • 4/5
      SantaLand Diaries - A chronicle of the author's experiences being an elf at Macy's during the Christmas season.

      Season's Greetings to Our Friends and Family!!! - An overwrought housewife bares all in her annual Christmas newsletter. Trying to put a brave face on things she overcompensates by describing how her life was disrupted by the arrival of her husband's sexy young bastard child from Vietnam.

      Front Row Center with Thaddeus Bristol - A bitter theater critic takes on the elementary holiday play scene.

      Based Upon a True Story - The head of a television network begs a bunch of hill billies for the rights to a miraculous story that took place in their isolated community.

      Christmas Means Giving - A wealthy man describes the escalating feud between him and his neighbors as each tries to out-give the other each holiday season. Tragedy ensues.

      Dinah, the Christmas Whore - A surreal story about how the author's family once entertained a whore in their kitchen on Christmas Eve.

      Jesus Shaves - David struggles to explain the Easter holiday to a French class full of foreigners.

      Us and Them - The weird family down the block goes too far when they miss Halloween and attempt to trick or treat a day late.

      Six to Eight Black Men - Cultural variations on the Santa Claus legend are discussed to much hilarity.

      The Monster Mash - The author recounts his time temping at a morgue during Halloween.

      The Cow and the Turkey - A fable about a greedy cow who requests the Turkey in the farmyard secret santa because she knows he will be killed before Thanksgiving.

      This charming collection of stories and essays is read by the author and several other holiday-themed stories are added to round out this audiobook. You'll laugh until you make that appalling snort of yours.
    • 4/5
      Didn't get through the last story; Based On A True Story, but the rest of them were pretty hilarious. The story about Dinah the Christmas whore was repeated in one of his other books (I forget which one), but it was just as humorous the second time around.
    • 3/5
      I must be jonesin' to laugh...requisite New Years therapy.

      In this collection of fiction and non-fiction shorts, Sedaris has the gifted way of handing you a ball of memories while managing no extra commentary but to plainly say, "This is what happened." Still you can't help but lose your eyebrows in your hairline and laugh hysterically in shock, in kinship, in absurdity....in complete understanding.

      Any stories that include his family are instant reminders of the reader's own family in all the subtle (or not so subtle) quirks and dysfunction afforded by sharing DNA or last names. David's sister, Amy, is my favorite sibling. Two words: sign language.

      The fiction shorts in contrast were unapologetic, quirky, darker, sometimes disgusting, and no holding back. In other words, I'll stick to his non-fiction. I *much* prefer his memoirs / essays over his fiction writing.
    • 2/5
      Totally weird book. The only funny story was the first one. The others were pretty dark.
    • 4/5
      Twelve short stories led by SantaLand Diaries, my (and untold others') intro to a strange, silly, sarcastic humorist. Having heard Sedaris tell this story a few times, it was no surprise he provided me an internal voice for reading it. When I caught myself speeding through other stories, I reminded myself to hear David speaking and invariably my enjoyment improved.

      Some of these are on par with SantaLand. Six to Eight Black Men earned above-average chuckles and The Cow and the Turkey was a pleasant departing surprise. A few seemed duds, but might be funnier if heard... or read under different circumstances.

      Fast readers could finish this book in an hour or so. Pace yourself and think wryly to give it a better chance.
    • 3/5
      Holidays on Ice. David Sedaris. 2008. Most of the selections in this book were taken from earlier works of Sedaris so if you’ve read those, you might not want to read this. I enjoyed them especially “SantaLand Diaries” and “Dinah, the Christmas Whore.” A good introduction to Sedaris for those who don’t know him.
    • 3/5
      While I loved SantaLand and Dinah, the Christmas Whore, not all the rest of the storise were necesssarily for me.
    • 2/5
      I really thought I was going to love this book but I didn't at all. I had heard so much about David Sedaris and how funny he was. But I found myself not laughing at this book at all. There were a couple of stories that made me laugh but for the most part I didn't find anything great about this book. The unexpected thing was that I found parts of this book incredibly offensive. And I can usually handle offensive but for some reason not this. This was my first David Sedaris book and since it was such a bad read, I'm not sure if I'll read anymore of his books.
    • 2/5
      Sedaris obviously has quite a following, so I came to this collection with moderately high expectations. Unfortunately I found reading the book only marginally less painful than a root canal. A couple of these ("SantaLand Diaries" and "Dinah, the Christmas Whore") were moderately amusing, but most were solidly in the "painfully unfunny" camp.
    • 4/5
      So I read it out of season, so what? "Santaland Diaries" still made me snort milk and cookies out my nose.
    • 3/5
      Eh. One story I really liked, one I really hated, and the rest were OK. Sounds like 3 stars to me.