Staying True

This is a memoir of Jenny Sanford, the first lady of South Carolina, whose husband Mark publicly confessed his affair with an Argentinean woman in June 2009. Jenny Sanford discusses her family, her past support of her husband's political career, and the faith in God that helped her through his infidelity. But when you read this book one would wonder why she ever consented to marry anyone who according too the narrative appeared too never be in love with her, was not looking for a true relationship just someone to bare his children, boys only according too his contract, and was in her words frugal. And saying frugal is being generous. This book paints a picture of a very selfish man and weak willed woman who let him do what he wanted. She was a free campaign manager and the mother of his children and it appears nothing else in his mind. From the start it is obvious that this was not and never would be a healthy relationship.

Remembering the scandal of 2009 and thinking that it might be interesting to read Mrs. Sanford's take on the events, I purchased this book. This is one of the few books I've read in 2010 that I actually regret purchasing.

I could never empathize, or even grow to like, Jenny Sanford. She paints herself in glowing terms; apparently she has no faults at all. She's a little less kind with Mark, although she definitely could have treated him more poorly in this memoir. Still, as I finished the book, I couldn't decide if Jenny really was lacking a spine entirely or if she was being a passive-aggressive manipulator in order to gain sympathy from the reader. Maybe it's a combination of both.

There's no doubt that Jenny Sanford was a doormat for decades, which seems to think is perfectly acceptable and something admirable. She married a man who said that he could not use the traditional marriage vows because he was unsure if he could promise to be faithful, and yet Mrs. Sanford was seemingly surprised that her husband had an affair. Umm. Huge red flag, anyone? And then she relates a time when her husband bought her a diamond necklace for her birthday. When he saw the necklace (a staffer bought it for him since he was in Washington at the time), he demanded to know if she'd kept the box because he was returning it because he'd paid too much money for it. Jenny meekly returns it to him, and offers some "well, if I'd insisted on keeping it, I would have known that he didn't like it every time I wore it, so what was the sense?" Once again, I really can't tell if she's been passive-aggressive or if she really believes that; either way, I felt a little ill.

And, of course, the affair, which is why most people (including myself) are reading this memoir in the first place. Mrs. Sanford, upon learning of the affair, actually gives her husband full permission to go to New York to meet his mistress with a friend in tow, presumably to babysit Mark. And then she listens to Mark telling her such lovely things as how this woman might be his soulmate and maybe he should go to Argentina because it might be his one true chance at happiness and how would Jenny like it if she'd wake up one morning and realize that she'd never had a heart bond with someone else. And yet she still didn't leave and thought that they might repair their marriage. Ugh.

Mrs. Sanford also threw in some asides about politics that made me wonder who exactly the politician was - her husband or herself. I don't need the Republican platform shoved down my throat, thanks.

Altogether, I found this book to be dull and incredibly frustrating. I wanted to reach through the pages and shake the author several times, or at least ask her if she really believed all of the bull she was saying. I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone.

Staying True is a poignant memoir of not only the former North Carolina Governor’s wife, but also her ex-husband’s, Mark Sanford, exhilarating climb up the political ladder as well as his masterful fall last year. With spiritual overtones, and short, concise chapters, the reader learns of the couple’s introduction to one another nineteen years ago, yet is shown foreboding signs of the events to unfold in the future. Ms. Sanford never bad-mouths her husband, yet portrays his horrific mistakes with honesty and integrity. Always strong and remaining “true” for her four teenage sons, Jenny seems to finally understand the revelations about being honest within her own self, as well. A quick read, Staying True, is an excellent example of finding a worthwhile certainty in an otherwise truly appalling life experience.

quite self-serving. did she do this because she needed money?
i don't like the way she handled his infidelity. she should have left him till he got his priorities straight.
i wouldn't have put up with his cheapness. did she because she didn't have a paying job?
she seems like a tough cookie. i wouldn't want to take her on.

Jenny Sanford, the former wife of the governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford, tells the story of her marriage to a man who had wonderful leadership qualities but at the same time was dealing with his personal demons. There were issues in the marriage for years culminating in the famous "lost" time where no one seemed to know where he was and he was actually in Argentina with his "soul mate". Jenny Sanford is the mother of four boys and seems to have her head on straight. I enjoyed this book and hearing her side of the story.

I commend Jenny Sanford for her commitment to her God and to her marriage. What a pity that her husband did not realize the value of what he had and chose to throw it all away for something that might have made his heart flutter faster in Argentina. I hope the Sanford sons will choose to follow the example of their strong mother rather than that of their hollow father. You go, Mrs. Sanford!