Pocket Karaoke

INTRODUCTION

I remember one night, nearly a year ago, when two men from England walked into the Annex bar on the Lower East Side where my friend Karen Ruttner and I held our weekly dance party called Stolen Transmission.

They looked confused.

Is this the Annex? one of the men asked me.

Yeah, it is! I replied.

I thought this was a dance party.

Usually it is, but tonight is my brother Lawrence’s birthday—so things are a bit different. Lemme get you a drink. It’ll be fun, I promise.

Things were different that night; that’s for sure. My brother had hired the karaoke duo known as Karaoke Killed the Cat to take over the night. People were lined up by the stage with the biggest smiles on their faces or in the booths feverishly combing through fifteen thousand songs in the karaoke book.

Sarah! I’ll do a song with you. What song do you want to do? Jason Baron, the bar’s owner, asked me.

Ack! I don’t know where to start! I yelped as I spouted out song after song. How about ‘Laid’ by James? How about ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’ by Joy Division? I have no idea! You pick!

As Jason and I searched the book for a song we could agree on, missing our friends embarrassing themselves, the British duo took the stage. Being strangers to the country, nobody in the bar knew them—but anxious to watch people perform, the crowd waited with bated breath for the men to start.

She came from Greece, she had a thirst for knowledge/She studied sculpture at Saint Martins college, they sang.

People in the bar knew the song—it’s a club favorite called Common People by Pulp—so they all started singing along from their seats.

Slowly people were joining the pair onstage, as if their solo was about to start and they didn’t want to miss it. It got to the point where the stage was more populated than the rest of the bar, and everyone—including myself—began to sing the chorus:

I want to live like common people! I want to do whatever common people do!

And that’s the story about how two strangers from England became the most popular people at a bar with just one song at karaoke.

ARTISTS

The pressure of picking up a massive karaoke binder filled with 15,000–30,000 songs can be incredibly daunting. First you sit there examining the artists, trying to find your favorites, or at least those with songs you recognize. Then you find an artist whose songs you know and like, but aren’t sure if you really know the lyrics or melody well enough to pull off performing them.

You don’t want to spend your night poring over a book, stressing out about which song to pick, only to miss all the fun happening around you, and you don’t want to bore your friends by constantly singing the same old karaoke standby.

Well, I’m attempting to alleviate all that fear and stress by preparing you for your next karaoke adventure. Karaoke should be fun! Here’s a list of artists, from all different genres, and the songs you’re most likely to find in those cumbersome song list books. I suggest taking a look through all these songs before you venture out with your friends, and finding five that you’re most comfortable with. Learn the words and remember the melodies, so you can show up prepared instead of staring at the phonebook-size binder of songs, crying I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY DON’T HAVE THAT SONG!

SONG LISTS BY ARTISTS

AALIYAH

ABBA

AC/DC

AEROSMITH

AGUILERA, CHRISTINA

BABYFACE

BACKSTREET BOYS

BEACH BOYS, THE

BEASTIE BOYS

BEATLES, THE

BEE GEES, THE

BENATAR, PAT

BEYONCÉ

BLIGE, MARY J.

BLUR

BON JOVI

BOWIE, DAVID

BRANDY

BRAXTON, TONI.

CAREY, MARIAH

CHER

CLARKSON, KELLY

CLINE, PATSY

COLDPLAY

COSTELLO, ELVIS

COUNTING CROWS

CROW, SHERYL

CURE, THE

DAVE MATTHEWS BAND

DEPECHE MODE

DESTINY’S CHILD

DIAMOND, NEIL

DION, CELINE

DOORS, THE

DURAN DURAN

DYLAN, BOB

EAGLES

EMINEM

FOO FIGHTERS

FRANKLIN, ARETHA

GAYE, MARVIN

GREEN DAY

HOUSTON, WHITNEY

JACKSON, JANET

JACKSON, MICHAEL

JEWEL

JOEL, BILLY

JOHN, ELTON

JOURNEY

KELLY, R

KINKS, THE

KORN

LAUPER, CYNDI

LAVIGNE, AVRIL

LED ZEPPELIN

LENNON, JOHN

LOPEZ, JENNIFER

MADONNA

MANILOW, BARRY

MARLEY, BOB

MARTIN, RICKY

MATCHBOX TWENTY

McLACHLAN, SARAH

MEAT LOAF

METALLICA

MICHAEL, GEORGE

MORISSETTE, ALANIS

MÖTLEY CRÜE

NICKS, STEVIE

NO DOUBT/GWEN STEFANI

*NSYNC

OASIS

PARTON, DOLLY

PEARL JAM

PINK

POLICE, THE/STING

PRESLEY, ELVIS

PRINCE

QUEEN

RADIOHEAD

RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS

R.E.M.

ROLLING STONES, THE

ROSS, DIANA, AND THE SUPREMES

SIMON & GARFUNKEL

SINATRA, FRANK

SPEARS, BRITNEY

SPRINGSTEEN, BRUCE

STREISAND, BARBRA

STEWART, ROD

SUMMER, DONNA

TWAIN, SHANIA

U2

USHER

VAN HALEN

WEEZER

WHO, THE

WONDER, STEVIE

WYNETTE, TAMMY

AALIYAH

Aaliyah got her start doing a sort of televised version of karaoke on Star Search, singing My Funny Valentine. While she didn’t win, the exposure ended up getting her a lot of attention, and the singer emerged with a great collection of R&B tunes over four albums. She was also allegedly married to R. Kelly, which is kind of weird since the rumors of this union began when she was fifteen. Try Again is the most forgiving of Aaliyah’s tunes, with its repetitive lyrics and simple vocal range.

LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY: 2

PERFORMANCE TIP: Slither around the stage like a snake standing up to capture the look of Aaliyah.

IF YOU LIKE THIS, YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: Monica, Brandy, TLC, Missy Elliott, R. Kelly

DRINK MINIMUM: 1

ARE YOU THAT SOMEBODY

AT YOUR BEST (YOU ARE LOVE)

BACK AND FORTH

COME OVER

HOT LIKE FIRE

I CARE 4 U

JOURNEY TO THE PAST

MISS YOU

MORE THAN A WOMAN

THE ONE I GAVE MY HEART TO

ROCK THE BOAT

TRY AGAIN

TURN THE PAGE

ABBA

On the simple and melodic side, ABBA’s collection of tunes is ideal for a group to sing and harmonize to. Plus, the Swedish band’s songs are all super recognizable, so people can’t help but belt them out right along with you. Dancing Queen is a bit of a tough song because the vocal range is pretty high and the harmonies can be confusing. Don’t let that discourage you, because once you get a little practice, performing the song live will have you and others dancing around the room.

LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY: 4

PERFORMANCE TIP: Pick the popular ABBA songs that everyone will know.

IF YOU LIKE THIS, YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: Disco, the Bee Gees, Ace of Base, Roxette

DRINK MINIMUM: 3 for girls, 7 for dudes

CHIQUITITA

DANCING QUEEN

DOES YOUR MOTHER KNOW

FERNANDO

GIMME! GIMME! GIMME! (A MAN AFTER MIDNIGHT)

HONEY HONEY

I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO, I DO

I HAVE A DREAM

KNOWING ME, KNOWING YOU

LAY ALL YOUR LOVE ON ME

MAMMA MIA

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY

THE NAME OF THE GAME

RING RING

S.O.S.

SUPER TROUPER

TAKE A CHANCE ON ME

THANK YOU FOR THE MUSIC

VOULEZ VOUS

WATERLOO

THE WINNER TAKES IT ALL

AC/DC

Classic rock and roll from one of the greatest heavy metal bands of all time. Hailing from Australia, AC/DC saw its first success with singer Bon Scott. After Scott’s death, Brian Johnson took over on vocals. If you have an incredibly gravelly voice that naturally hovers in the upper register and can nail high-pitched wails with the greatest of ease, then try Back in Black. If you want to spare your voice so you can sing Radiohead later on in the night, then might I suggest the crowd-pleasing You Shook Me All Night Long.

LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY: 4

PERFORMANCE TIP: Show up to sing AC/DC dressed as an Aussie school boy (like guitarist Angus Young).

IF YOU LIKE THIS, YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: the Yardbirds, the Cult, the Kinks, Thin Lizzy, Jet

DRINK MINIMUM: 2

BACK IN BLACK

BIG BALLS

BIG GUN

DIRTY DEEDS DONE DIRT CHEAP

HARD AS A ROCK

HAVE A DRINK ON ME

HELLS BELLS

HIGHWAY TO HELL

IT’S A LONG WAY TO THE TOP (IF YOU WANNA ROCK ’N’ ROLL)

MELTDOWN

MONEYTALKS

PROBLEM CHILD

RIDE ON

STIFF UPPER LIP

T.N.T.

THUNDERSTRUCK

WHOLE LOTTA ROSIE

YOU SHOOK ME ALL NIGHT LONG

AEROSMITH

Before becoming Hollywood’s go-to band for power ballads that will reduce you to tears, Aerosmith was a blues-influenced rock band from Boston famous for loving ladies, partying, and drugs. Legend says that lead singer Steven Tyler gargled with various household products to give his voice the rock-and-roll edge he thought was missing. Listen to his unrecognizably angelic vocals on Dream On next to the sexified Love in an Elevator and you’ll think it is two different singers. People often make the mistake of singing Sweet Emotion because they know the chorus, but fall flat on their faces once the verses come in, so if you’re worried that might happen to you, the simpler I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing might be more your speed.

LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY: 3

PERFORMANCE TIP: Bring scarves to tie around your mic stand. Double bonus for having a giant mouth.

IF YOU LIKE THIS, YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: New York Dolls, Deep Purple, Skid Row, Guns N’ Roses, the Black Crowes

DRINK MINIMUM: 1 drink for the later songs, 5 drinks for the earlier ones

AMAZING

ANGEL

BACK IN THE SADDLE

CRAZY

CRYIN’

DREAM ON

DUDE (LOOKS LIKE A LADY)

I DON’T WANT TO MISS A THING

JADED

JANIE’S GOT A GUN

LAST CHILD

LIVIN’ ON THE EDGE

LOVE IN AN ELEVATOR

PINK

RAG DOLL

SWEET EMOTION

WALK THIS WAY

WHAT IT TAKES

AGUILERA, CHRISTINA

She may have initially been caught in the mix of other blond-haired teenage singers that arrived on the scene during her debut, but Xtina proved that she had the pipes to make her stand out from the pack. Since 1998, Christina has won five Grammys and has received sixteen nominations. Her greatest asset is her ability to sing with complete sincerity, strength, and sex appeal, so when you get up there, you better mean it! There’s nothing like Beautiful to get that point across.

LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY: 5

PERFORMANCE TIP: Grab your girls and sing Lady Marmalade!

IF YOU LIKE THIS, YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: Pink, Britney Spears, Amy Winehouse, Fergie

DRINK MINIMUM: 3 drinks. You’re gonna need something to calm your nerves about attempting to live up to Christina’s pipes.

AIN’T NO OTHER MAN

BACK TO BASICS

BEAUTIFUL

BLESSED

CANDYMAN

COME ON OVER (ALL I WANT IS YOU)

DIRTY

FIGHTER

GENIE IN A BOTTLE

HURT

I TURN TO YOU

LADY MARMALADE

LOVE FOR ALL SEASONS

LOVE WILL FIND A WAY

OBVIOUS

REFLECTION

SO EMOTIONAL

SOMEBODY’S SOMEBODY

THE VOICE WITHIN

WHAT A GIRL WANTS

WHEN YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME

BABYFACE

Known for his smooth and romantic voice that sounds like melted chocolate, Babyface’s entire catalog of songs (the ones he’s written and produced) would probably take up this whole book. If you’re on a date with a girl you’re in love with, Every Time I Close My Eyes is the song to let her know your true feelings.

LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY: 4

PERFORMANCE TIP: Babyface’s songs can be a bit of a snoozer, so try adding some edge to them.

IF YOU LIKE THIS, YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: James Taylor, Boyz II Men, Usher, Al Green, Curtis Mayfield

DRINK MINIMUM: 1 drink. Make it a vanilla Stoli.

AND OUR FEELINGS

THE DAY (THAT YOU GAVE ME A SON)

EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES

GROWN & SEXY

HOW COME, HOW LONG

NEVER KEEPING SECRETS

SIMPLE DAYS

SORRY FOR THE STUPID THINGS

THIS IS FOR THE LOVER IN YOU

WHAT IF

WHEN CAN I SEE YOU

WHEN YOUR BODY GETS WEAK

BACKSTREET BOYS

The Backstreet Boys aren’t as popular as they used to be. But even as a Radiohead-obsessed nineteen-year-old, I knew most of their songs by heart. You might be shocked to discover that there are others like me when you get up there all alone to attempt I Want It That Way, only to