Sister, Missing

1

Sister

I woke up to sunshine pouring in through the bedroom window of the holiday cottage. It was going to be another hot day. I yawned and sat up in bed, careful not to disturb Madison. Her long dark hair was spread over the pillow. I brushed it gently back, revealing her sweet, heart-shaped face.

As I moved, Madison moaned in her sleep. Her lashes were long and dark against her soft cheek, but I could see the teardrops they still held. It had been like this every night since we’d arrived at the holiday cottage last week. A nightmare kept waking her – bringing her into my room, where I’d have to stroke her hair to get her back to sleep. Later, I’d wake to find her crying in her sleep . . . soft whimpers that broke my heart.

I bent down now and kissed her forehead, carefully drawing the quilt over her bare shoulder. I watched her for a moment as her breath grew less even and her eyes slowly opened.

‘Hey, Lauren,’ she mumbled. ‘I was dreaming about Daddy again.’

‘I know, babycakes,’ I whispered. ‘It’s OK.’

Our father, Sam, had died suddenly nine months ago. Losing him was a big aching hole inside me, even though I didn’t grow up with him. He was my birth dad but I had been kidnapped when I was tiny, and adopted, so I didn’t know him until two years ago.

Sam had been really special and I missed him every day, but when I looked at my birth mum, Annie, or my sisters – Shelby and Madison – I could see that Sam dying so suddenly had been much worse for them . . . it had ripped their hearts out. Madison especially, being so young. She was only eight. My guts twisted thinking about how she must feel.

Now Madison nuzzled in close beside me. I stroked her hair and she yawned and stretched like a cat, arching her back and reaching her arms over her head. A moment later she was off the bed and scampering to the window. She turned to me with big brown eyes.

‘Can we go to the beach today?’

I grinned at her. ‘Sure – just as soon as you’ve had breakfast.’

‘Yayy!!’ Madison skipped round the room, her nightmares forgotten. She pulled on a pink tutu over her blue check pyjama bottoms. Her hair flew out behind her as she spun.

It suddenly struck me that I’d never understood that phrase: a breath of fresh air, before. But that was Madison – fresh air in a dull, flat world: the only person ever to raise a smile from Annie and the only person who always made me feel good about myself.

Madison stopped in mid-spin and stared at me. ‘But no Shelby,’ she said. ‘Promise, Lauren. Shelby can’t come too.’

I smiled. One of the many things that bound Madison and me together was a dislike of our middle sister. Shelby was always rude and aggressive. Only yesterday, she’d made Madison cry by sneering that she was too old to still be playing with dolls.

‘Sure,’ I said. ‘If you get dressed really fast we’ll be able to leave before she even wakes up.’

With a wide-eyed nod, Madison vanished from the room. I pulled on my clothes quickly, then checked myself in the mirror – the denim shorts, fitted T-shirt and sandals all looked OK. I took a straw bag from the wardrobe and fetched two towels and some sun cream from the bathroom. It had been amazingly hot for days, considering it was only April, and today looked like it was going to be no exception.

I tied my hair off my face and applied a little eyeliner and lip gloss. I slid the lip gloss into my bag along with my phone. Madison would enjoy playing with both of them while I hopefully tanned my legs. I already had a bikini top on under my T-shirt. Grabbing my sunglasses, I left the room.

Madison was downstairs, wolfing down a bowl of cereal.

‘Well OK, you and Lauren can go, but only if you stay close together,’ Annie said, twisting her hands anxiously over each other. She was wearing her dressing gown and yesterday’s make-up.

‘We’ll be fine,’ I said firmly. ‘I’ll look after Mo and—’

‘But who’ll look after you?’ Annie interrupted. She picked up her coffee cup and sipped at it distractedly.

For goodness’ sake. I gripped the sides of the table. I wanted to be sympathetic. I knew how hard losing Sam had hit her. It was hard for all of us. But why did she have to act like I was about to be kidnapped again every time I took two steps away from her? I was sixteen, and taking my GCSEs in a couple of months.

Swallowing down my irritation, I forced a smile on my face. ‘We’ll be fine,’ I repeated.

‘Don’t you want to wait for Shelby to get up?’ Annie asked.

‘No, Mom,’ Madison said firmly. ‘We want to go now.’ She stood up from the table and looped her little blue bag over her shoulder. I caught her eye, knowing what was inside the bag.

‘OK, but . . . but are you sure you wouldn’t rather go for a drive and a picnic?’ Annie said.

Madison and I exchanged an alarmed glance. Annie’s idea of a picnic consisted of a short journey during which she complained constantly about the narrow country lanes and having to drive on the ‘wrong’ side of the road, followed by a random meal based on whatever she’d found in the fridge. Over the past few days we’d sat on quite a few beaches, trying – and failing – to find one of the caves which Annie said the area was full of, and eating bizarre stuff like boiled egg and dried apricot salad . . . or, on one occasion, a packet of seeds that turned out to be bird food.

‘Er . . . no thanks,’ I said.

‘OK, well, take this.’ Annie shoved a couple of twenty-pound notes into my hand. ‘Promise you’ll be back by midday, OK?’

I rolled my eyes. ‘All right.’

Madison raced across the room and put her bowl in the sink. She was dressed in denim shorts and a T-shirt that was a similar blue to mine.

As both of us have long dark hair and the same easy-tan skin, our eyes (mine blue, Mo’s dark brown) marked the only real colouring difference between us.

‘Hey, we’re twins, Mo,’ I said.

‘I know.’ She beamed at me. ‘I’m ready.’

‘Take a jacket, both of you,’ Annie said, bustling out to the coat stand in the hall.

‘No need, it’s already boiling out there.’ I held out my hand and felt Madison’s warm, small fingers curl round mine. ‘Bye, Annie.’

‘Bye, Mom,’ called Madison. Giggling, she let me drag her out of the kitchen door and round the side of the house.

As she skipped down the pavement, still holding my hand, I could hear Annie’s plaintive voice behind us. ‘Be careful . . .’ Irritation coiled round me like a snake.

We walked on. The sun beat down on my face, warming me through. The closer we got to the beach the happier I felt, the cloying weight of Annie’s worry lifting as we left her behind.

It didn’t occur to me for a second that she was right to worry . . . that there was anything to worry about.

And yet, two hours later, my whole world would be turned upside down. And, though I didn’t know it at the time, it would all be my fault.

2

Missing

By 10 am the beach was starting to fill up with excited sunbathers. I guess it was the Easter Monday bank holiday and the unusually hot weather that was bringing people out, but to be honest I’d liked it better last week when the sky had been overcast and the seaside more deserted.

Madison didn’t seem to mind. We stopped to watch the carousel on the promenade blaring out ‘The Teddy Bear’s Picnic’, then found a spot on the sand and laid out our towels.

We’d done each other’s hair – in tiny braids – and Madison was now curled up on her towel, picking at the edge of her little blue bag. She looked up at me, her huge chocolate-brown eyes betraying both eagerness and embarrassment.

‘Go on,’ I said with a smile. ‘Get them out.’

Madison grinned back and gently retrieved the three pocket dolls I knew she kept inside the bag. As she started playing some imaginary game with them, whispering under her breath, I lay back and closed my eyes.

Before Sam died, Madison had more or less lost interest in her dolls, but afterwards she went right back to playing with them every day. At first Annie got all neurotic about it, worrying that Mo was ‘acting out repressed grief’ or some other fancy thing you needed a psychology degree to understand. After a bit she settled down about it, hoping that if she didn’t make a fuss Mo would just gradually stop. Shelby, on the other hand, was vicious about it from day one. She teased Madison for being a baby every time she caught sight of a doll.

Neither of them understood. Madison just needed someone to love – someone who wasn’t going to die on her.

Anyway, nine months on from Sam’s death, Madison still played with her dolls – but only alone, or with me.

‘How’s Tilda today?’ I said, pointing to a particularly cute doll with red hair and freckles.

‘She got mad at Tammy,’ Madison said, shaking her head sorrowfully. ‘Tilda was mean.’ She went on to explain the ins and outs of the imaginary argument.

I got lost after a few minutes, but I nodded and smiled anyway. After she’d finished her explanation, I checked she had enough sun lotion on her bare legs, then picked up my phone and logged onto Facebook. It was early still, but most of my friends – and my boyfriend Jam – were in London over Easter and I knew loads of them had met up yesterday evening.

If we hadn’t hired this holiday home I could have gone out with them. But since Sam died from some undiagnosed heart condition, Annie had only visited the UK twice and both times she’d refused to set foot in their London flat, which was why we’d ended up here, in Norbourne on the south coast of England, this Easter.

I’d considered protesting about spending two weeks away from all my friends, but Annie just burst into tears every time I talked about London, while Mum and Dad thought me being away from the distractions of home for two weeks was a brilliant idea.

Just as I thought of her, Mum texted me. I hesitated to open the message. Things weren’t that great between me and Mum just then. You see, though Annie is my biological mother, Mum and Dad are the ones who’ve brought me up. I live with them during term time, then visit my US family in the holidays. Last week Annie and my sisters had come over from the States to spend the holidays with me, while Mum, Dad and my little brother Rory went to Disney World for a fortnight.

With a sigh, I opened Mum’s text.

How is the revision going? Remember three hours every morning. Then you will have the rest of the day to play! Love Mum x

Growling with irritation, I closed the text without replying.

Surely it wasn’t supposed to be like this? I’d always tried to be grateful for having two mothers who cared about me, but right now it felt like I had two jailers. On the one hand there was anxious, needy Annie who wanted to lock me away from the world to keep me safe and on the other there was Mum – nagging away like she was head of the Revision Police.

‘Hey, Lauren, look at Tammy,’ Madison said.

I glanced over. Tammy, I knew, was Madison’s favourite pocket doll – a chubby, round-faced miniature version of Madison herself, with long dark hair and huge brown eyes framed with long, lush lashes.

‘I’m putting her hair in braids too,’ Madison said.

‘Cool.’ I examined the two neat plaits that Madison had carefully tied with threads from her towel. ‘Nice job.’

Madison beamed and bent over the doll again.

I turned back to my phone and checked to see who was online. A couple of friends were chatting, but not Jam. Maybe it was just as well. We’d drifted apart a bit recently. He said he was trying to give me space after Sam’s death and while we were both studying for our GCSEs, but I couldn’t help wondering if he was losing interest. I know I could have asked, but I didn’t want to make myself look vulnerable. So I’d been holding back too, waiting to see what he did . . . how he acted.

Across the beach a group of teenagers were gathering outside the Boondog Shack café. I hadn’t been inside yet, but it looked fun, the sort of place Jam and I would go. My fingers drifted to the wooden oval he’d given me two years ago. I still wore it round my neck most of the time. I wasn’t sure Jam even noticed.

Beside me, Madison sat up. ‘Can I get an ice cream?’

‘Sure.’ I fished in my shorts pocket for the money Annie had given me. ‘There’s a stall just over there. We can leave the towels.’

Madison frowned as she followed my pointing finger. ‘Please can I go by myself?’ she said. ‘It’s only over there.’

I hesitated. If I’m honest, part of me worried about Madison almost as much as Annie did. You don’t survive two kidnappings and a murder attempt without becoming aware of how ugly the world can be.

‘Please,’ Madison persisted. ‘Mommy never lets me do anything and I’m almost nine.’

‘You’re not nine until November,’ I said.

But I knew I was going to let her go. After all, Annie was ridiculously overprotective which wasn’t good for Madison. And I could actually see the ice cream stall from our spot on the beach. Nothing could happen to her. Nothing would. It was a sunny morning and most of the people about were families with small children, laughing and splashing in the sea or building sandcastles. Plus, Mo had her own phone, tucked safely at the bottom of her bag.

‘Here.’ I handed her one of Annie’s twenty-pound notes. ‘Get me whatever you’re having and make sure he gives you the right change, OK?’

‘Sure. I’ll get Twisters.’ Madison beamed at me. She slid her doll, Tammy, into her pocket and trotted off across the sand. I stood up, watching her as she reached the promenade and crossed to the stall. I could see the man behind it leaning forward, clearly trying to hear her order, and Madison shaking her head impatiently, hands on hips.

As I watched, the man handed her the ice lollies and Madison reached up to give him the money.

‘Hey there.’ A boy’s voice beside me made me jump. ‘Have you seen Cassie?’

I looked around. The guy was in his late teens, wearing long shorts and a faded T-shirt with Boondog Shack written on the front. He was totally gorgeous: tanned, blond and square-jawed like a model, and, for a second, I was so shocked, both by his appearance and by the fact that he was standing so close to me, that my mouth actually fell open. I took a step backwards, almost stumbling on the sand. The boy caught my arm and smiled as he steadied me.

‘Have you seen Cassie?’ he repeated.

‘I don’t know anyone called Cassie,’ I said.

‘Oh, OK.’ He smiled again. ‘Sorry to bother you.’ He sauntered off.

I blinked, then remembered Madison and turned back to the ice cream stall. I couldn’t see her. She should have been on her way back across the beach towards me by now. Maybe she’d got confused and wandered off in the wrong direction. I scanned the horizon. The beach was fairly crowded, but there was still plenty of space between the groupings on the sand and I had a clear view for at least two hundred metres in both directions.

‘Mo!’ I called.

Several nearby families looked around. Ignoring them, I yelled again. ‘MO!’ Where was she? It wasn’t like her to muck about.

My shout echoed away into silence. My guts squeezed into a knot. Don’t panic, I said to myself. It’s only been a few seconds. She’s got to be here somewhere.

Still scanning the beach, I grabbed my phone and called her number. But Madison’s mobile was switched off. I groaned out loud. Why hadn’t I checked it was on when she’d walked away? I picked up my straw bag and headed towards the stall. I kept glancing over my shoulder, but there was nothing behind me except our towels on the ground. If Madison came back she’d see them and wait for me. My eyes strained across the sand and along the promenade, skipping over each figure, looking for those chestnut braids. She couldn’t have just vanished.

I reached the ice cream stall. The vendor was chatting to two elderly ladies as he held a cone under his ice cream machine.

‘Excuse me,’ I interrupted. ‘The little