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    Spiking the Sucker Punch
    Spiking the Sucker Punch
    Spiking the Sucker Punch
    Ebook88 pages48 minutes

    Spiking the Sucker Punch

    By Robbie Q. Telfer

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    About this ebook

    In Spiking the Sucker Punch, Robbie Q. Telfer's first published collection, the author profiles the modern comedian from the inside out - starting with the innards and moving toward a damaged laughter. His work blends surrealism and narrative, bending grammar and expectations along the way. These pieces interrogate identity, place, and lead the reader to a much higher understanding of bears.

    This gloriously bellowed lyrical and linguistic chaos, this ‘mess of crossed wires and mixed seagulls,’ will make your status quo ache, your perceptions implode, your horizons widen and shatter. -Patricia Smith, “Blood Dazzlerâ€

    Robbie Q, our dazzling shooting star sparking the gritty Chicago heavens, crackling with the surprising and contradictory rhythms of life on the run and in the heat. Keep on, Brother Q, dance the dialectic, your wild inspired unruly convergence and conspiracy. -Bill Ayers, activist/educator/author

    In Spiking the Sucker Punch, Robbie Q. Telfer rocks out a bestiary of antic poetics all his own. In his open and generous hands, speech acts zoom in and out of our collective desire to live and love. You will feel alive again reading it. -Daniel Nester, “How to Be Inappropriateâ€
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherWrite Bloody Publishing
    Release dateAug 13, 2010
    ISBN9781935904939
    Spiking the Sucker Punch

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      Book preview

      Spiking the Sucker Punch - Robbie Q. Telfer

      Greg.

      Opening Epigraphs

      I know that men are won over less by the written word than by the spoken word, that every great movement on this earth owes its growth to great orators and not to great writers. . . [The] power which has always started the greatest religious and political avalanches in history rolling has from time immemorial been the magic power of the spoken word, and that alone.

      —Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf

      Cool people suck shit.

      —Lynda Barry

      Clowns

      There is a dark club full of hyenas

      barking at an empty stage.

      Jon Lovitz replaced Phil Hartman

      on News Radio after one night when Andy

      Dick fed cocaine to Phil Hartman’s recently clean wife,

      Brynn Hartman. Phil Hartman

      told Brynn Hartman that if she started using again

      he would leave her, so Brynn Hartman

      shot Phil Hartman and herself in the head.

      Years later, Andy

      Dick taunted Jon Lovitz about how Andy

      Dick caused Phil Hartman’s death, so

      Jon Lovitz grabbed Andy

      Dick by the head and bounced his face off a

      comedy club bar.

      David Foster Wallace wrote a very simple and

      easy to understand book called Finite Jest.

      Richard Pryor burns. Gilda Radner smolders.

      Andy Kaufman writhes on the ground with women.

      Bill Hicks never gained mainstream popularity

      because he couldn’t tell more dick jokes than

      jokes about the first Iraq War. Perpetually censored,

      Bill Hicks was diagnosed with cancer,

      taped a set on David Letterman, told more jokes

      about abortion than the battle of the sexes.

      David Letterman pulled the segment from the show,

      and his friend Bill Hicks died a few months later.

      Bill Cosby shot his shotgun mouth with a sleepy rage.

      Michael Richards does the same but his pellets are flaccid.

      Dave Chapelle walked away from millions of dollars

      because he couldn’t control WHY the hyenas were barking.

      In February 2009, David Letterman aired the censored

      Bill Hicks segment and publicly apologized to Bill Hicks’

      mother, Mary Hicks. She only half-accepted the apology.

      At Kermit the Frog’s memorial service,

      Miss Piggy had to run away from the podium

      at the end of his eulogy. Scooter told the congregation

      why we should live in the moment like Kermit did and then

      Scooter died of AIDS just two years later. Big Bird

      came out to sing It’s Not Easy Bein’ Green and for

      a moment it sounded as if there was a human being

      living inside of this giant yellow body, for a moment it

      sounded like this impossible real person was starting to

      crack and cry inside of this now trembling feathered body

      all because a frog didn’t want to bother people

      by going to the hospital in time. Later, the ashes

      of someone named Jim Henson were scattered

      on a ranch in Santa Fe.

      From the stage, you can’t see the hyenas but

      you can hear them barking. Your job is to be

      meat dangling to tease out the barking. Your

      job, clown, is to be meat dangling dance for the

      canine scream that means that you’re winning.

      You’re a failure if they think they can hear a real

      human being shivering and frightened inside

      your giant clown body. There’s a two-drink

      minimum, tip your waitress, you’ll be here all night

      you say, you’ll be here all night sucking out

      the cackles daring death to just try and take you.

      And that’s the joke, you know, life. Life is

      a wonderful joke. When Tina Fey was five

      years old, she was playing in her front

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