About this ebook
Join author and relationships expert Deane Thomas as he encourages readers to begin their journey toward satisfying and permanent love of self -- so essential for day-to-day living and happiness..
You’ll learn how self-love is every person’s right, and how we are born with it. Find out why it is that, for most of us, self-love seems to get lost along the way as we focus more on others’ needs at the expense of our own.
“Love is an essence that lives within each of us -- very pure and very real,” the author says. Learn how to find your own “Twin Soul,” and begin experiencing that deep-down feeling of completion that only comes when a relationship is truly grounded in love.
This book offers solid advice and concrete commentary on how your feelings of self-love might have become buried over time and what to do to reclaim it.
Remember. Love begins and ends with each of us. It is an amazing energy that should be shared without condition or expectation.
Learn to look in a mirror and love what you see each day. Love Outside the Box will help you do that.
Deane Thomas
My life journey has taken me to some amazing places in the world, where I have connected with some amazing people. It has been an adventure, to say the least. But it has allowed me to truly see the way we have evolved. There have been many times I have known and felt something deep inside, guiding me sometimes down paths better left alone. But I have returned a better person, stronger for the experience. . The past few years especially have been spent trying to get to know "Who I am,” and why certain things keep happening. I have therefore been led to retreat into solitude -- to reflect upon the set of core issues that continue -- without careful monitoring -- to cause me to have doubts and feelings of diminished self-worth. I want you to learn why you might be having similar self-doubts - and to learn what you can do about them. My writings are the culmination of my desire to help others. This guide will help you to see clearly things you might not want to see -- but things that, when confronted -- will help you heal and be made whole again. Only through a commitment and investment into self can we truly appreciate and experience the power we possess. For, in the final analysis, love is an awesome power we all possess and can share without conditions or expectations.
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Love Outside The Box - Deane Thomas
Introduction
Having chosen, many eons ago, to be born into a family that would lead me to the man I am today, I view my time here today as a privilege. Whilst I am truly grateful to my parents for bringing me into this world, I would not wish the experiences that my siblings and I went through on anyone.
We choose to navigate through life based on what our families or society say we should be doing – we are programmed from the day we are born. The journey of life is somewhat more difficult for those who have suffered at the hands of those we are supposed to look up to and love.
I question how one can share love for someone or somebody who has inflicted abuse, harm and irreversible damage, physically and psychologically. It does not matter who they are, family member, school teacher, official, or employer, they simply have no entitlement to it.
The basis of any man’s life begins long before he is conceived in the womb, it is this that I believe, and humanity has lost sight of. As we meander on our life journey, many situations will be presented that require us to take a good long look at what we are doing, or where we are going. For a proper answer, we need to be in complete harmony with our soul.
Most will not be able to be in harmony with their soul until a life-changing set of circumstances will force them to stop, look and listen. This situation may be in the form of a bereavement, a relationship breakup, car accident, near death experience, or something as serious. The untimely event will cause you to question every aspect of your life – it is this event that is the key to unlocking the inner truth craving to be freed.
Your true authentic self is visible during times of vulnerability. When you reach that point, you will make a conscious decision – to explore and use the hidden keys you possess to unlock the inner truth or to continue in life believing you know who you really are.
The fundamental interpretation of love is so flawed these days with such a disposable society. Love is all about attachment, need, filling gaps, or underlying issues within oneself. Love does exist in each and every one of us, it is really recognising the essence we possess inside is real and true.
The circle of life is inevitable. One day you will stop, look and listen to your soul – and begin to peel back the layers to the core of yourself, whether that is today, tomorrow, this year, or the next. The choice remains yours to make when you feel the time is right.
Your free will and truth are yours, and only yours. No one else has ownership over them. Deciding to change your life for a higher purpose, or calling is not something for everyone, but I close in saying that love is for everyone. We are all One.
True or unconditional love is given and received freely, no limits or boundaries to it – Love just is. Pure and simple, from the soul, in timeless motion for all to share and enjoy!
In this guide, I will share my life experiences, and share life changing actions that have allowed me to embrace the true essence of love, and how unconditional love can transform the way in which you live your life.
In Love Always
Deane
CHAPTER ONE
THE BEGINNING IS THE END
This is so very true for many who have reached a place of complete despair in their lives. Symbolic endings of cycles or life situations, tend to bring us to a sudden stop. A time of reflection or a time of ignorance, as with anything it is a choice we make. Most of us have experienced traumatic events throughout our lives. Whether the trauma came from our childhood, teenage years, or adult life, we continuously face opportunities to take a look at our life journey and question reality.
There are many that are waking up
to the reality of the widespread disinformation in all forms of media and communications. In effect, modern day technology is creating a much bigger and more effective series of illusions. Illusions have been created since the beginning of time, in one form or another. As man has evolved there has been a constant struggle for control, power, and wealth. In addition, many illusions and templates have been created to purely serve those that promote them. The more we awaken we begin to see through the illusions that are being portrayed by those in control and power.
The distortion of today’s societal templates leads to generation after generation of losing touch with who we truly are. Is this a paradox in some way or another, or a reality that we can change? We learn from the moment of conception, but the constant within us remains a pure love energy. We are created in love, and our basis for existence is love. The very essence of our creation is simply pure love.
As we grow up we are constantly subjected to how it should be
, expectations
, education systems
, relationship values
and many more other societal conditioning tools. For the sake of our highest good or to please others, many of us are further subjected to religious values
and systems of Government
. These illusions do not reflect the truth
of the way our lives unfold, as most of us tend to reach a point when we discover the truth
of all that is.
Before we learn the truth, our perception of love is shaped by our inner circle of family and friends, in some cases even by religion itself. So many try to define love and place its meaning into some form of structure (or box!) when in fact, this is the last thing we should do. Love doesn’t fit into a rigid structure. It is an essence that lies within each and every one of us. It is as unique as our DNA, and for each of us, love truly is unquantifiable.
Labelling of such a wonderful essence or feeling in itself limits what it is. Love is a powerful energy that takes over us if we truly allow it to. We cannot quite describe what or how it happens, it just does. It is this inner knowing and recognition of love that then triggers the ego-mind into trying to understand what is going on and how it fits into our lives.
For millennia we have been trying to decipher love, yet there is no definitive answer, except the one that speaks to you and your soul. Only the ego-mind wants an answer and in so many ways is the beginning of the end of the essence of love. As we try to contain something or to limit its true meaning, the true value cannot be reflected, leading to the accumulated energy being lost. The ego-mind begins to add conditions, or expectations, or limits of love, based upon what we have learned or been conditioned to believe. This usually occurs right at the point when the ego-mind recognises that the love does not fit with what is stored in our consciousness.
Worse still, in some cases, we turn our backs on love, simply because we have seen throughout our life the effect of love in others. In this context, we are referring to arguments, aggression, divorce, and other images portrayed today. Because of what we have heard or seen we simply become fearful of the very essence within. Our families are impacted by the love we are supposed to share with one another. Love seems to be forced upon us and our psychology accepts the experiences that impact our life.
Our brain continually receives and processes the actions, definitions, images and opinions of love, and this remains with us throughout life. We will always refer back to a past memory or situation so that we can relate to the current moment. The current moment bears no relationship with the past, but the ego-mind will use the past to torment the present and the future. This activity, in reality, hinders us from truly experiencing what we are encountering or feeling.
We cannot lose sight that each of us is born with the pure essence of love within, we seek this from others, in a nurturing and natural way. Metaphorically speaking this is our birthright – to be loved and cared for, so that we may become our own highest good. Until our parents allow us to discover and explore life on our own, much the way mammals have evolved