Get Out of Your Way!: ...And Finally Get What You Want

Words

YOU DO MATTER

DID YOU KNOW that there are over seven billion people on this planet and only one of them has the ability to keep you from getting what you want? Yes, people have influence over you, but nobody can drive you crazy unless you give them the keys. It’s about time that we realized just how much power we have to create the kind of lives and careers that we desire and take responsibility as the one person on this earth that determines what we do with what we were given.

Writing this book was a longer process than I expected it to be because I cared about it so much. I knew that I wanted to write about something that would help people to get from where they are to where they want to be. I wrote down several potential titles and topics and, at one point, even got about half way through with writing another book until I realized it wasn’t the book that I was truly passionate about at this time.

Through my job as a professional speaker and trainer, I get the opportunity to interact with a lot of people and most of them at a time when they are focused on bettering themselves and their careers. One observation that I have made about many of the people that I talk to who aren’t where they want to be is the reasons for why they aren’t there.

Most commonly, I hear about the economy, their friends or family, their boss or company, or something else along these lines. What I don’t hear enough of though is them taking responsibility for where they currently find themselves. Unless, of course, they are satisfied with where they are. We are much quicker to take credit when we like where we are than we are to take the blame when we don’t. I call it the quarterback syndrome. Most NFL quarterbacks love the press conference that ensues following a big win but don’t have much to say following a loss. It’s a great way to find out who your true leaders are.

When you think about it, we are really just acting on our human nature when we blame others because it is natural to protect yourself. If someone tries to hit you in the ribs, you cover up, and if our current situation is a result of the economy or some other outside force, then it is out of our control and we don’t have to feel bad about ourselves.

The problem with this thought process though is that if our current situation is the result of factors outside of our control, then we also have to conclude that we don’t have the power to change anything. If it is your belief that you are powerless to change your circumstances and the life you will live, then you might as well just get into a coffin and wait! That is not the world that I choose to live in and neither should you.

I do want to be clear though that I am not saying that your surroundings, upbringing, and the economy don’t have any influence over you and your ultimate destination. Of course they do. But there is a difference between influence and total control. Too many people are allowing the wrong things to control their lives and their businesses, and my hope is that this book will help them in breaking this pattern in their lives.

Before I was speaking at conferences and writing books, I had a very successful real estate career. I have been asked many times why I would leave a lucrative career in real estate where there was no travel required to do what I currently do. The answer to this question is simple: I believe in what I do and the principles I teach and truly believe that I can make more of a difference on this earth by motivating and training people on how to start leveraging themselves as an asset and not their own worst enemy.

When you finally grab hold of the truths that I will layout in this book, they can help to reshape your relationships, financial situation, and overall outlook of your existence. To me, that is a powerful matter that will affect your current or future kids’ lives and others for generations to come.

If you are reading this book, you can probably think of someone in your life or a book you have read that resonates in your head to this day and has helped to shape the way you make decisions and go about your life. My hope is that this book will be one of those moments for you going forward.

I have found that in most cases, the issue is not that we don’t know what to do to get better or create a better situation for ourselves but the issue is that we don’t do what we know to do.

Think of it this way: if you wanted to lose weight five hundred years ago, what do you need to do? Diet and exercise. What about 250 years ago? Diet and exercise. What about yesterday? The answer is still diet and exercise, and yet, we are willing to purchase a belt that straps around our waist and jiggles all day and if we act now, we can get two of them for only $19.99! Why? Because, please, anything but diet and exercise! It’s too difficult!

You see what I mean? It’s not enough to know what to do if we can’t motivate ourselves to follow through.

I believe that when we understand ourselves, the world makes a lot more sense.

WHAT IT TAKES TO BE GREAT

Too many of us are so busy trying to be great that we are never able to be good. You can’t be great until you are good first, just like you can’t get to the number two without starting at one first. When you look at the types of personalities that tend to do great things, they can be a little controlling at times and have difficulty delegating. They want everything to be perfect before they will put their seal of approval on just about anything.

The issue with this is that it is not how the world works. Did Apple wait until the iPhone was perfect before it was released on the open market? Nope. The iPhone eventually ended up as an amazing product because of its imperfections and the feedback from users who weren’t happy.

You are never going to be perfect, and every day you spend waiting until everything is perfect is a another day that your competition is moving forward; even if at a snail’s pace, at least, they are moving forward.

It’s the old adage that every journey no matter how long or short begins the same way, with one step. You have to just go at some point.

Like most things, there are those that will read this and take it to the extreme. I am not saying that you don’t work on yourself, your business, or your product to make it the best that you can before moving forward with an idea that you have. I am just saying that you can’t wait until it is perfect due to your fear of failing. After all, if you never try, you can never fail right?

This book really focuses on you though and getting you to a place where you are ready to dominate your area or industry by getting out of your own way. For that to happen though, you cannot neglect yourself while following your ambition.

Too many of us have invested so much time mastering our talents and skills that we haven’t spent enough time on the sustainable resources of things like our character.

I believe that you can measure a person’s character in two ways: how they treat those that have absolutely no ability to benefit them and by who they are when nobody else is around. Your character will carry you at times when other people would crumble.

I can tell you from personal experience that you are not ready to go after any big dreams that might bring you more exposure and a greater following until you have spent the time necessary to strengthen your sustainable resources such as your character. I am not sure that I agree that notoriety simply amplifies who you always were, but it can definitely amplify the worst sides of you and your most hidden desires if you allow it to. True character is the only answer to the pressures that can come your way when you succeed at whatever you do.

I have had to learn too many times to count that my character wasn’t where I thought it was, but I have responded every time with the vigor necessary to grow and learn and become the person that my kids believe that I am. That is a high standard to live up to, but I am dedicated to reaching it with each day of my life.

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

—Henry Stanley Haskins

IF YOU HAVEN’T BEEN THROUGH HELL YET…JUST WAIT

I GET TO talk to and observe a lot of different people on a regular basis. Some are happy with where they are at and some are not, but one thing almost every single person has in common is an inner belief that he or she could be or should be further along in his or her life.

There are many reasons why people are not always exactly where they want to be, but almost everyone can agree that it is because of…(fill in the blank). It could be the economy, or your boss, or your children and their activities, or the big one that you have gone through.

I truly believe that as a society, we tend to focus on a very specific set of addicts while ignoring the ones that surround us every day. Think about it, when I just mentioned the word addicts, your mind probably automatically focused on drug addicts or alcoholics or something like that.

Yet we are surrounded by other types of addicts all the time and, in most cases, are an addict ourselves. Whether you are addicted to your phone, to a person, to sex, or to something as ordinary as food, you are still an addict.

An addict, according to the Webster’s Dictionary, is someone that devotes themselves to something habitually or obsessively. Are you devoted to your work or something else?

I think if you were to step back and do