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    Brass Ovaries: Grow a Pair
    Brass Ovaries: Grow a Pair
    Brass Ovaries: Grow a Pair
    Ebook112 pages1 hour

    Brass Ovaries: Grow a Pair

    By Xlibris US

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    About this ebook

    On a sunny morning in 1997, Linda Samis stood on the driveway of her soon-to-be foreclosed home and realized she needed to grow a pair... of BRASS OVARIES! Shes unapologetic, and coming at you like a bullet train.

    The straight talking spit-in-your-hand-and-shake approach as an entrepreneur has opened doors for Linda where most people havent found the hallway, or even the building. And what red tape? When her bottled water company was first getting legs, Linda discovered the Trump Organization was also expanding into water. She dialed 4-1-1 for the number and met The Donald within weeks. BOOM.

    First of all I want to say up front, these are my opinions based on what Ive seen. When women are good the world is good. And right now were not good. Women! Boomers! Entrepreneurs! Everybody! Im here to punch you in the face! Ya! Right where you keep your eyes! We need a few words banned from the lexicon - deserve, try, perfect, luck - when youre finished reading this book, you wont need them anymore! When you have fully grasped that your choices are yours, and so are the consequences... thats when youve earned your Brass Ovaries. - LS
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherXlibris US
    Release dateFeb 13, 2014
    ISBN9781493173389
    Brass Ovaries: Grow a Pair

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      Book preview

      Brass Ovaries - Xlibris US

      Copyright © 2014 by Linda Samis.

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

      Rev. date: 02/10/2014

      To order additional copies of this book, contact:

      Xlibris LLC

      1-888-795-4274

      www.Xlibris.com

      Orders@Xlibris.com

      539977

      TABLE OF CONTENTS

      The Set Up

      1 What The Fuck?

      2 The Story Of Brass Ovaries Part I

      Linda Samis: From Great Stock

      3 ‘What Do You Mean They Don’t Like Us?’

      Said A Baby Boomer About Lazy And Entitled Millennials

      4 The Story Of Brass Ovaries Part II

      Driveway Revelations

      5 Stupid Feminism,

      I Am Not A Feminist, I’m A Linda-Ist!

      6 The Story Of Brass Ovaries Part III

      The Business Of Canaqua

      7 If You Wanna Have Kids, Have Them!

      If You’re Gonna Have Kids, Take Care Of Them!

      8 The Story Of Brass Ovaries Part IV

      B.o. Redux

      9 Women Don’t Leave The Work Force,

      They Leave The Office!

      10 The Story Of Brass Ovaries Part V

      Banff, London, And Cannes

      11 Sexuality: A Hard Subject

      12 So, What The Fuck?

      ~

      For,

      the two best things that ever happened to me, my children

      Taylor Adele Samis

      Andrew Jordan Samis

      and to my parents, who got me to this place

      Adele Yvette Jorsvick

      Douglas Oliver Jorsvick

      ~

      * I had the pleasure of helping Linda build her book and present the concepts herein. A small portion of the writing has been placed in italics to differentiate my voice from hers. The rest of the book, the majority of it, is pure Linda.

      -MHD

      THE SET UP

      F irst I’ll tell you what this book IS NOT!!!!! This book is…

                     NOT a feminist book!

                     NOT a male bashing book!

                     NOT an easy read!

                     NOT an outlet to blame anyone else!

      AND

                     it is NOT an excuse for anything!

      If you are looking for the above, put this book down and walk away, this is not for you.

      The concept of Brass Ovaries is taking responsibility for your life and realizing all the decisions you make are yours. It is not that you’ve been through some hardship. If you’re living your life you know that everyone goes through hardship. Brass Ovaries is not an award for making it through, it’s that you grasp that you’ve been given this gift of life, that it is precious, and it is yours to drive.

      This book is here to punch you in the face, you know, where you keep your eyes! If you are searching for something, or if you need a kick in the pants or an encouraging voice to say you can take control, this is it! Is no one in the world rooting for you? This book is here for you! You need NO PERMISSION!

      This is a book for all people from a woman’s perspective. Like it, don’t like it, don’t care. It’s dead serious and dead hysterical. Earn your own respect, grow a pair of Brass Ovaries and god dammit, take your life into your own hands!!

      1

      WHAT THE FUCK?

      Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

      -Thomas Edison

      ___

      I n the common parlance of the day, may I just repeat, what the fuck? What the fuck are you actually doing if you take no risks in life but complain about where you’re at? You know what there is to do, so do it, or stop whining. It’s killing those around you. So what if you don’t succeed? If you’re bellyaching about it, then by your standard your situation sucks anyway. It’s lame to keep complaining about the same thing. Why not complain about a hard day spent on your dreams instead of bitching about how nothing is going your way? Change it! Risk it! Trust yourself! Stand up and fight!

      Does everyone have the opportunity to make monumental changes? No. I am calling you out if you do nothing and you’re in a situation with the means to make even a tiny step in the direction of a more fulfilling life driven by you. If you have the means and you do nothing, we all lose out. You are great and have greatness to share. That is unique to you and only you can bring it out. It is your responsibility. It is time to earn your Brass Ovaries.

      Come here to me, the water is just fine.

      ___

      If you want to be an entrepreneur, you have to be scared to death. That is how you get motivated.

      -Linda

      2

      THE STORY OF BRASS OVARIES PART I

      LINDA SAMIS: FROM GREAT STOCK

      If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery-isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.

      -Charles Bukowski, Factotum

      The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.

      -Maya Angelou

      ___

      L inda Samis is 63 years old. Like everyone else she is a product of her unique collection of experiences. Her choices, her experiences, and the people around her have shaped who she has become. One of those individuals, her maternal aunt Sister Mary Adele St. Cyr, has been an exceptionally strong influence in her life, both as a maternal figure and as a spiritual guardian.

      Linda’s grandfather, Donat St. Cyr, left Trois-Rivières, Quebec in 1908 with his parents and a dozen siblings. The family moved west and became homesteaders in Ponteix, Saskatchewan. They settled on buying up the town and by 1920 he had purchased most of the buildings. Donat was put in hospital when a scarlet fever strain infected the town and while there, a fire burned everything to the ground. Sadly, without insurance, he was left with nothing salvageable so he turned to his two pieces of land. He continued with his entrepreneurial spirit (before the word existed) and started to purchase and drive wild horses and bison north from the Dakotas. By the time he was finished he had successfully trained 500 horses for saddle, buggy, dray, wagon, and heavy work. He had an easy nature with animals and was never injured by any of his horses.

      When Sister Mary Adele (then Estelle Germaine) was finishing grade 12, her aunt Yvonne offered her the opportunity to continue her education at St. Mary’s College in Los Angeles. It was decided that Estelle and her sister Marcelle would attend school there in the fall.

      Estelle was so impressed with the gentle and smiling Sisters she encountered at St. Mary’s that within three months she asked if she could join them. In 1939 Estelle Germaine officially became Sister Mary Adele St. Cyr, CSJ. She took her final vows in 1944 and completed her schooling, which included a Masters in Education, elementary, secondary, and counselling credentials, a French Major and a Spanish Minor.

      When the time came to go on her first assignment, Sister Mary Adele was raring to go. Her first mission was to Slickpoo, Idaho where a boarding school for orphans was down one teacher. She was in charge of fifty boys and slept in a corner of a large dorm room with only a curtain for privacy. She was very happy there as she was during her entire career.

      Sister Mary Adele worked five more missions in that first year after Idaho and many more in the coming decades. She is just now coming up to her 75th Anniversary. She takes no credit for the work she has done; she credits the Lord and she embodies a low-key attitude common among her peers at the Carondelet Centre in Beverly Hills. The Sisters have been there for decades and were among the first nuns in North America to own property.

      Mary Adele has been a force for Linda her whole life. When Linda was divorced in 1997 Sister went to visit with and comfort her niece, who in the eyes of Mary Adele, was destitute. She told Linda then that her Mother’s Day gift was that she would be mentioned during weekly mass for the next fifteen years in the nun’s parish in California. Linda was very touched.

      Over the years Linda learned from her aunt and the nuns to follow your heart and your dreams, and to move forward fully in your pursuits. These are the type of nuns who have hiked up

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