Goronwy and Me: A Narrative of Two Lives

Goronwy and Me

A Narrative of Two Lives

Proal Heartwell

Goronwy and Me

A Narrative of Two Lives

Copyright © 2012 Proal Heartwell. All rights reserved. Except for brief quotations in critical publications or reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without prior written permission from the publisher. Write: Permissions, Wipf and Stock Publishers, 199 W. 8th Ave., Suite 3, Eugene, OR 97401.

Resource Publications

An Imprint of Wipf and Stock Publishers

199 W. 8th Ave., Suite 3

Eugene, OR 97401

www.wipfandstock.com

isbn 13: 978-1-62032-307-6

eisbn 13: 978-1-4982-7056-4

Manufactured in the U.S.A.

All quotations from Goronwy Owen by Branwen Jarvis reprinted with kind permission from the University of Wales Press.

Frontispiece illustration by Josef Beery

This book is dedicated to

Mother, for her wisdom and inspiration;

Susie and Elise, for their love and support;

the girls of Village School, past and present, for their curiosity and enthusiasm.

Y lle bum yn gwarae gynt

Mae dynion na’m hadwaenyt.

Cywydd Hiraeth Am Fon, by Goronwy Owen (II 11–12)

(In the place where I once played

Now there are men who know me not.)

Acknowledgments

I am indebted to many people for their help and encouragement in the writing of this book, including my siblings for their shared memories and steadfast support. The members of my writing group are to be commended for their patience and insightful reading. Thank you to Roderic Owen who first educated me to the vagaries of Welsh language and culture, and to Robert Jeffrey for his encyclopedic knowledge of all things Welsh and for his unflagging encouragement. I’m grateful to Randy Crenshaw for riding shotgun and to all the librarians who helped me in my quest to get to know Goronwy. In Wales, Dewi and Magdalen Jones, as well as Elizabeth Hughes, took a keen interest in my research and clearly articulated their affection for the exiled bard. Thanks also to the Brunswick County Museum and Historical Society (especially Magen Cywink) for giving me a forum to share my story. I’m grateful, too, for the technical help of Meredith Gould and to Christian Amondson of Wipf and Stock Publishers for shepherding me through unchartered territory. Finally, a heartfelt thank you to Laura Roseberry for her tireless effort and vision in support of this narrative.

Part I

Goronwy Ddu o Fon

(Goronwy the Black of Anglesea)

1

I Meet Goronwy Owen

Night Music by Proal Heartwell

At twilight, we gather,

fresh from meals of silver-queen corn

and home-grown tomatoes.

James, the littlest, is it,

and he scurries after the can I kick

across the cobblestone walk to the privet hedge.

Our way lit by fireflies, we run to hide.

I crouch in the boxwood; Bill clambers up the maple

as only he can.

Sue, bereft of imagination, squats behind the porch rocker.

On and on we play, till stars appear

in the purple sky

and screams of I see you compete with

a choir of crickets.

Screen doors squeak open across the darkness;

mothers call, adding syllables to our names.

We run to our houses, wash behind our ears,

and climb under cool sheets.

Alone in my bed, the film of my day reels by my eyes,

and a sudden breeze blows across my sun-tanned skin.

I reach for my grandmother’s quilt, pull it to my chin,

and smell the memories hidden in

the strips of brightly colored fabric.

Slowly, peacefully, I fall into sleep.

I wake up early in the quiet that is Sunday morning and walk down the squeaky stairs to the cold kitchen at the back of the house. I hastily pour my bowl of Cheerios, orange juice, and retreat to the family room and turn on the television. Adjusting the antenna, I plop to the floor, and watch Notre Dame football highlights with Lindsay Nelson, and try not to spill milk on Mother’s carpet as I follow the weekly exploits of quarterback Terry Hanratty and the Fighting Irish.

All is quiet upstairs. Mother and Daddy sleep in after another late Saturday night at the country club, drinking Jack Daniel’s old fashioneds and dancing to records by Keely Smith, Al Martino, and Peggy Lee. The older of my two sisters is gone and living in Richmond, having married this past July in what surely was the hottest wedding ever at St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church. I was the acolyte at their celebration with an unimpeded view of the happy couple’s sweat-glistened faces as they knelt to receive Dr. Tayloe’s blessing.

My brother is away at college, and I sometimes sleep in his old bedroom and revel in its many mysteries: the Fairport Convention albums, the Lawrence Ferlinghetti books of poetry, the Eugene McCarthy for President poster on his wall. On this desk are pictures of his girlfriend, snapshots of their summer working at Virginia Beach. His Woodberry Forest yearbook, the Fir Tree, lies unopened nearby. In it, I know, is his photograph catching a touchdown pass against St. Christopher’s. Will I, I often wonder, play football, too, when I go to Woodberry next year?

My older sister is still asleep and my parents will rouse her in a couple of hours to accompany them to church. She will begrudgingly acquiesce, weary from last night’s date with Ronnie. They again have been forced to babysit me, which means they sit on the sofa, smoke cigarettes, drink Cokes, hold hands, and express annoyance at my presence. In time, I tire of their mutual self-absorption and head off to bed, where I read The Mickey Mantle Story for what must be the hundredth time.

Now, I turn off the TV and take my empty bowl and glass to the kitchen sink. I retreat to my room, dress, and outside my door, pick up the shoes my father polished for me before he went to bed last night. In the downstairs bathroom, I brush my teeth, attempt in vain to tame my cowlick hair, and put on my shoes.

I head out of the still slumbering house, careful to not let the screen door slam, and turn left down Windsor Avenue, toward St. Andrew’s. The morning air is cool, but I have eschewed a jacket knowing the October sun will soon warm me. I walk past my grandmother’s house, her Country Squire wagon in the driveway. The crape myrtle in the side yard still harbors a few rose-colored blossoms. Soon Granny will be up, fix her customary fried egg and Taylor’s Ham, and begin the ritual of preparing for church. Fashionably attired, she will drive the two hundred yards to church, arriving five minutes after the service begins to join my family in our pew. After church, we will retire to Granny’s house for sweet sugar mints, dry roasted peanuts, one glass of sherry each, and of course, her commentary on the dresses of the ladies of the congregation.

Across the street from Granny’s house is the home of Miss Elfie and Miss Maude, spinster sisters who teach at the town elementary school. These no-nonsense ladies taught not only multiplication, long division, and sentence diagramming to me and my siblings, but to my father as well, who still quickly extinguishes his cigarette whenever he glimpses one of these arbiters of knowledge.

I walk past the home of my friend Joe, two years my elder and the other acolyte at our church, and I wonder if he has somehow sequestered the new Playboy in the small patch of woods behind his house. I know for ten cents, the cost of a Pepsi, Joe will let me gaze upon the magazine, and he will provide commentary beyond my wildest imagining.

On my left are the gates of St. Paul’s College, an all black teacher training school supported by the Diocese of Southern Virginia. St. Paul’s six hundred students rarely stray beyond the campus gates, and its faculty and staff seem known to only a few of the town’s merchants, like my father, who is also Chair of the college’s Board of Trustees. My interactions with the college are few: attending the occasional football game with my father, our faces conspicuous in a sea of brownish hues, or playing tennis in the summer with Joe on the college’s (and the town’s) lone court. I remember the disquietude I felt the previous fall when two professors from St. Paul’s appeared in the narthex of our church at the beginning of the Sunday service. As they scanned the pews for a place to sit, my father quickly approached them, and after a hushed, seemingly cordial conversation, they left. Daddy returned to his seat and no mention of the encounter was made, then or later.

Now, as I walk towards the church, I again consider its well-worn, but welcoming visage. It’s a modest structure of once-white clapboard siding and a gray slate roof. Over the bright red front door is a small round window where bubbled glass admits irregular shafts of light into the narthex. A bell tower is anchored to the rear of the building, looking like a turret transposed from another time and place. Built in 1829, the church is the oldest building in Lawrenceville, the parish having existed since 1732.

I enter the back door of the structure and glance about for C.P., my grandfather’s half-brother, a retired bookkeeper who serves as the St. Andrew’s Superintendent of Sunday School. We exchange brief pleasantries, and I set about my ritual tasks, first mounting on the board affixed to the transept wall near the pulpit, the day’s designation in the liturgical calendar, and below that, the numbers of the service hymns. I weave through the ten rows of pews, intersected by a center aisle, placing the kneeling benches upright and confirming that each pew rack has a hymn book and the 1928 Book of Common Prayer with its arcane, yet resonant language. Soft morning light filters through the six stained glass windows, and smears of red, blue, and green rest on the pews’ dark velvet cushions. I pause to read again the plaque mounted on the back wall, noting the four chandeliers given in memory of my grandfather. These brass fixtures are suspended over the nave and cast a diffuse soft glow throughout the worship space.

I retrieve the thin wafers and Mogen David wine from the small sacristy and fill the chalice and cruet on the table next to the altar, believing, I suppose, that through Dr. Tayloe’s intercession, these elements will shortly be transfigured into the body and blood of Christ. It is now ten thirty, and I don my well-worn acolyte robes and receive last minute, but familiar instructions from Dr. Tayloe, Doc as he is known to the adults of the parish. Mindful that I am to be confirmed in the spring, he asks if I have memorized the Ten Commandments and the Apostles’ Creed. I answer in the affirmative, and, at precisely 10:45, I ring the bell to summon the morning worshippers, scattering the pigeons that roost in the tower. The bell rope is thick and knotted and mysteriously recoils through a hole in the ceiling after each tug. I grasp the rope with both hands and lever it back and forth, back and forth. The sound is deafening, the loudest noise I know other that the siren from the fire department that blares a beckoning call to the volunteers whenever there’s a blaze out of control.

I find the kitchen matches in the sacristy and light my torch. I approach the altar, remembering to bow, and light the three candles on either side of the cross. Joe has arrived by now, and I notice again the stubble on his chin, which contrasts sharply with my peach-fuzzed face. He gathers the cross as he is older and is to lead the procession. We head out the side door to congregate with the choir and Dr. Tayloe at the front of the church. We greet the familiar worshippers, including my family, and my mother pauses to pat down my unruly hair before proceeding into the church.

At eleven o’clock, Dr. Tayloe nods, and Joe leads us into the narthex. Edith Buford, the organist, sees him from her perch behind the choir stall, adjusts her glasses, and begins her weekly battle with our wheezy organ. The opening strains of A Mighty Fortress is Our God are announced, and Joe lifts high the cross to begin the procession. Carrying the torch, I am behind his right shoulder, and I am startled when behind me, the choir starts singing. We march in and I wince, as the elderly ladies of the choir struggle with their failing eyesight and cacophonous voices to synch their singing with Mrs. Buford’s playing. We reach the altar, and the choir files into their seats. Joe and I bow to the cross and retire to our station, ready for another of Dr. Tayloe’s ponderous sermons on a vengeful Old Testament God.

The service is unremarkable, familiar as I am with the weekly vicissitudes of our worship. Right on cue, Granny arrives after the procession and during the reading of the first lesson, and without haste, walks to our accustomed pew, third from the front on the gospel side of the aisle. I have long stopped being embarrassed by her habitual yet premeditated tardiness, and I admit to myself that my grandmother does indeed look stunning in her tailored suit and Sara Sue hat acquired, no doubt, during one of her many forays to Richmond to shop at Miller & Rhoads and Montaldos.

I resolve to listen to Dr. Tayloe’s sermon, but am soon lost in his discursive lesson on the history of the Philistines and pray instead for good reception on our GE television for the afternoon’s game between Sonny Jurgensen’s Redskins and the Eagles of Norm Snead, and, as a Redskins fan, I again offer thanks to God for this providential trade of franchise quarterbacks. Near the sermon’s end, I nudge Joe as he indeed has fallen asleep and his labored breathing has the potential to erupt into full-throated snores. During the offertory hymn, June Thomas, the most near-sighted and tone-deaf member of the choir, inexplicably, but predictably, skips verse two to passionately belt out verse three, while the rest of the choristers and the congregation soldier on as the hymnist intended. Remarkably, everyone comes together by the song’s end. I imagine God is not terribly inconvenienced by this transgression.

As the small band of parishioners kneel at the altar during communion, I note with interest the deep draughts of wine gulped by Raymond Bradley, such a sharp contrast to the chaste sips of the other penitents. Perhaps he needs to be cleansed of manifold sins, I think.

Dr. Tayloe offers a final prayer, and as Mrs. Buford launches into Onward Christian Soldiers, Joe and I lead the recessional down the center aisle and out the front door so we may all do the work God intended us to do. As Dr. Tayloe greets the departing parishioners, Joe and I circle around the side door to finish our duties. He secures the cross and before I even finish extinguishing the candles, he hangs up his robe and surplice and leaves, eager, I imagine, to keep a date with Miss October.

I wander out to the church yard, knowing it will be minutes yet before we go to Granny’s, the men having to arrange their afternoon foursomes, while my mother chats with ladies from the county that she sees only at meetings of the altar guild and the garden club. The sun is indeed warm now at its daily zenith, and I seek the shade of the reverential oaks and their burnt-orange leaves. I’m drawn to the white Celtic cross on the edge of the church lot, and I place my palm against its cool white granite.

Of course, I am familiar with the monument, having rested at its base many times over the years, and I know the name of the man it