A Tangled Web of Love

A Tangled Web of Love

Elsabe Smit

Published By Elsabe Smit

Smashwords edition

Copyright 2019 Elsabe Smit

Visit my website at http://www.ElsabeSmit.com

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All brand names and product names used in this book are trademarks, registered trademarks, or trade names of their respective holders. I am not associated with any product or vendor in this book.

Cover: Terri Radcliffe at www.brandrepublica.com

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

About The Author

More From This Author

Connect With Me

Chapter One

The raindrops quietly form geometric shapes on the window. Then other raindrops crisscross and change the shapes into random ones. The water runs down the window lazily, and the gutters have their own quiet conversation. The night air is silent and expectant, listening to the rain, waiting for the dawn.

He lies staring at the reflection of the moon, thinking if this was a movie I would light a cigarette now, but I do not smoke.

She violently turns around in her sleep, taking most of the bed linen with her. He softly leans over and pulls the sheet towards him again. She throws her arm up and he calmingly puts his hand on her arm. Her breathing deepens, and she sleeps on.

He looks at the alarm clock. Three thirty. He closes his eyes again, but after a while opens his eyes again, resigning himself to being awake.

For a moment he considers putting the light on and reading a book, but that will wake her up. He decides to rather lie there in the dark and think it all through. Maybe the dawn will bring clarity.

His mind examines the events of the previous few days. First, she had the cramps. He was quite concerned about her, because this was not normal, not so early in the pregnancy. Initially she laughed off his concern. But the cramps continued and became worse. I must have eaten something wrong, she said.

But then the bleeding started. Only then did she get concerned. It was too late. The baby was already dead.

She did not cry much. He thought she was secretly relieved at losing the baby. He could not understand this. They had always wanted two children. This one would have completed their family.

When he asked her about it, she burst into tears. She did not want to talk about it she said. She needed time.

He brought her back from the hospital, settled her into bed, and went off to the office.

When he returned, he saw the car pulling away. He saw Anthony driving. There was no doubt about it.

She said Anthony came around to offer his condolences. Her eyes were red, but her voice was cold, nearly hostile. She said she was tired, needed some rest, did not want to talk.

He stares up at the window, and watches the patterns of the raindrops, feeling the moon rays on the emptiness inside of him.

Has he lost her?

Then he becomes aware of the ghost-like little figure, sleepily scuffling towards the bed. He reaches out and lifts the little girl between them. She immediately falls asleep again.

No, he hasn’t lost her. They are a family, a loving, uncomplicated family. They have always been happy, and that will not change. He will just have to work harder. And stay away from Anthony for a while. She will see how much he loves her, see sense again and they will remain a family.

With his arm over the little girl and his hand on his wife’s arm, he drifts off.

* * * *

What did Anthony want yesterday? he watches her back, but she continues washing the dishes.

He came to offer his condolences Karen says softly.

Oh, Alan says. But he knew I was at work, and he has not spoken to me yet. My best friend, Alan thinks.

I thought we should go to the amusement park on Sunday if the weather holds. Amy will love it, and it will be good distraction for us.

She is silent.

Or would you like to do something else? We need some family time to deal with all this, Alan says softly.

She turns around to him, eyes full of tears, but does not say anything. She dries her hands and walks past him to the bedroom.

She carefully dabs away the tear marks while listening to Amy’s shrieks of laughter from the kitchen.

Anthony is devastated. Alan thinks they are still a family. She doesn’t know what to think. It was a bit of fun, distraction from a routine that was smothering her. What a mess.

She never expected to live happily ever after. Alan is a good man who came along at the right time. He adores her and is a safe haven. She had just ended a destructive relationship and needed some comfort. He provided the comfort, like an anesthetic. She became pregnant, and that was the happy end to a wrong choice.

Amy is a joy to them both, but she needs more. More of what?

Please God, not another baby.

Are you finished, love? Amy and I are ready to go he says, while Amy is giggling and squirming in his arms.

Give me another minute, and she reaches for her jacket.

A day with the in-laws. Uncomfortable silences that will be brushed over with more tea or another game with Amy. Stifling. Smothering. Happy families.

* * * *

Come and have some tea, dear Sophie, Karen’s grandmother, smiles up at Karen, who is restlessly pacing the bay window.

Nan, when you married Gran, did you ever have any doubts? I mean, you have been married for ever – have you always been happy?

Sophie takes her time pouring the tea. Smiling serenely, she hands the cup of tea to Karen.

Of course, there were times when I was not happy. Times when I did not want to be in a marriage. But leaving has never been an option for me. Fortunately, there were not many occasions when I wanted to leave, but doing so would have made me an outcast. Thank goodness times have changed.

Eagerly, Karen leans forward Are you saying it is OK to get divorced when you are not happy in your marriage?

No, dear, I am not saying that. We are all happy or unhappy at some stage. Happiness is a mood, a way of looking at life. It is not a reason for doing things or a basis for decisions. It is a result of how we view things, Sophie explains.

Nan, you are confusing me. Are you saying that being unhappy in your marriage is not a reason for divorce? That one should remain married, even if you are unhappy?

Sophie laughs. You are weaving your own web, my darling. Think about it. If you are unhappy now, it is easy to think that getting divorced will make you happy. It may not, and then what do you have? Happiness is a state of mind that lasts only for the moment. You need to look deeper, into yourself, to find what is lasting.

Nan, I don’t know. Alan is a good man, a wonderful husband, and I dearly love Amy, but I am not happy, and I do not know what to do. You are not helping me, Nan.

Only you have the answer, my darling. It is inside you. Look for it, and you will find peace. Then you decide what to do, Sophie smiles.

I don’t understand. You are saying the answer is inside me. All I can feel is turmoil. I am starting to think that Alan has me in a prison, and that is not fair to him. If the answer is inside me, the answer is confusion and I am hurting, Nan, Karen says,

There is a way around this. You need to understand that confusion and hurt and everything else you think of, is a blanket that covers your truth. You need to see these things for the distractions that they are, and put them aside. Then you will see the truth.

But how do I do that? Every time I close my eyes I want to cry. That makes me feel even more miserable, Karen wipes her cheek.

Then you must cry, dear. Those tears are another blanket that needs to be removed. Tears cleanse your soul.

Karen looks at her Nan with tears welling up her eyes. But then she grabs her bag and keys, gives her Nan a peck on the cheek, and rushes out. Sophie smiles and gathers the tea cups.

* * *

Karen takes the cardigan from the rail, holds it in front of her, and puts it back on the rail again.

That looks lovely on you, Rita says. Why don’t you try it on with some trousers?

Karen looks at some cardigans then turns to Rita. I am tired of shopping. Let’s go and have tea somewhere.

What is with you? You are never tired of shopping. Are you feeling unwell?

Karen turns her head so that Rita cannot see the tears. Keeping her voice normal, she says I am coming down with something. She walks to the shop door with Rita following.

Karen stirs her tea until Rita asks, More sugar?

Oh, I am sorry. I was just thinking, Karen sounds distracted.

What is with you? Is something wrong? Rita sounds concerned.

I don’t know. I am just not right.

Oh, it is just the aftermath of the miscarriage. You will get over it. You need to treat yourself, get pampered. I think we should book into a salon and get the works - manicure, facial, sauna, everything they can fit into a day. What do you say? Shall I book us in for Tuesday?

Karen feels the tears welling up her eyes. This time she cannot hide it. Rita looks at her, concerned.

I don’t know what to do with you. Shall we have a drink? Is something bothering you?

I am just so unhappy. I cannot stay with Alan…

You are really ill. Why on earth would you want to leave Alan? He treats you well, he earns good money. You will have another baby. Maybe that is what you need – get pregnant again. Come on, let’s go and find you something nice to wear. That will make you feel better.

No, thanks. I should rather get home. I have a few things to do before I collect Amy. Karen gathers her keys and bag.

OK, see you Rita says, looking puzzled.

Karen leaves the coffee shop, feeling drained and alone. I cannot even talk to Rita about this, and Rita is my best friend. I cannot talk to Alan, because it will hurt him so much. I cannot talk to Anthony, because all that is finished. Nan understands, but will she understand about Anthony? She gets into the car and sits there, sobbing her heart out. Once the tears have stopped, she feels calmer and drives away.

* * * *

And our strategy for the next year will be to find many small accounts. Together they will make up the numbers. Alan, what suggestion do you have for obtaining accounts? the chairman asks.

I am sorry, sir, I was thinking of getting new accounts in the retail sector. I did not hear your question, Alan says, red-faced.

At least your daydreaming is productive the chairman smiles. What strategies do you want to deploy?

Focus, Alan, he thinks. Leave home for later.

Last night Karen was attentive, but he