Ontological Coaching

Transformation and Development of Yourself

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Miguel D’Addario

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Second edition

2020

CE

Contents

Biography of the Author

Editor's Foreword

Ontological Coaching

Personal Transformation

Techniques and Training

Ontology of Language

Exercises

Values and Personal Characteristics

Economic Crisis or Existential Crisis

Exercises

Simple Exercises to Activate the Brain

Facets of Coaching

Ontological Coaching for Personal

and Professional Development

Learning

The Observer

Emotions and Moods

What is NLP?

Exercises

Neuro-Linguistic Programming

Emotional Intelligence

Assertiveness

Exercises

Reflection

Exercises

Assertive Rights

Social Skills

Exercises

To Improve Your Empathy

Verbal Communication

Mentoring

Exercises

Powerful Questions

Ontological Exercises

100 Active Questions

The Wheel of Ontological Life

Ontological Stories

Conclusion

Bibliographical References

Biography of the Author

Miguel D'Addario holds a Bachelor's Degree in Journalism, a Master's Degree in Social Education, a Master's Degree in Sociology and a PhD in Social Communication from the Complutense University of Madrid; he has developed his experience in various fields of teaching, from Vocational Training to the University level, both in Latin America and in Europe.

As a PhD and essayist, he has received awards and mentions from Writers' Associations, Cultural Centers, Universities, and related venues. Likewise, as Speaker, Lecturer, and Researcher, in Universities, Educational Centers, public and private.

He is an author of artistic books: Poetry, Short Stories, and Tales and of a substantial number of educational books of varied levels and subjects.

His books are distributed in the five continents, are regularly consulted in libraries of the world, and are inscribed in the catalogues, ISBNs and international bibliographical databases.

Published books of the Author:

Coaching personal (Autocoaching)

ISBN: 9781291263039

Manual de Oratoria (Técnicas y ejercicios).

ISBN: 9781291664577

Pedagogía universitaria (Del reflejo condicionado al pensamiento científico).

ISBN: 9781312579637

More about the author: https://cutt.ly/2t1bmZv

If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask... for once I know the proper question, I could solve the problem in less than five minutes.

Albert Einstein

Editor's Foreword

Coaching is based mainly on the Socratic Method, on maieutic which affirms that every human being has the answer within himself, and that learning is a discovery. Coaching, as a training style in sports, emerged in the mid-1970s from Timothy Gallwey, a sports coach and tennis professor at Harvard University. Gallwey claimed that a tennis player's toughest opponent was always on his side of the net. A few years later, in the 1980s, executive and personal coaching started by Thomas Leonard (1955-2003), who worked for 20 years in collaboration with more than a thousand personal development experts from around the world, for the creation and definition of Coaching, understanding life and work as sports in which we can obtain the goals that we set ourselves, if we commit ourselves to proper training. Coaching is a positive and effective communication system that teaches you to ask, to listen, to respond, to become aware, and to establish a plan in action with new and better expectations. The ontological coach it does not tell people what to do, does not pressure, does not advise, or does not recommend, but explores, asks questions, offers generative interpretations, and respectfully challenges their mental models to develop a new look that allows for the discovery of new actions and possibilities; and accompanies in the design of actions that facilitate access to the desired results. The coaching process is a conversation where a joint investigation is developed that aims to discover what position the person is in the discourse, understand his past history and current situation in order to identify his road blocks and help him to resolve them, to locate the types of conversations (internal and external) that he establishes, the positive and negative effects, and how to improve them to achieve the desired goals. For this reason, the coach must know how to observe and listen carefully. The listening process is fundamental in ontological coaching and the coach must work three in domains: language, corporality, and emotions. The coaching process focuses on the Coachee taking responsibility for his actions and develops awareness that his life situation depends on his mental creations and actions. In this way a process of maturation of his emotions is produced that allows him to make a commitment to change his situation and make effective decisions to optimize his resources and his achievements. This tool helps people gain emotional intelligence by recognizing feelings at the very moment they appear, so that by rationalizing them, they can know why they react that way and have control over them. Ontological coaching is a transformational dynamic through which individuals and organizations review, develop, and optimize their ways of existing in the world. It presents itself as a conversation that creates a new culture, not as a technique within the culture. Ontological coaching is a fundamentally liberating process of suffering and belief. It connects us with our resources and with our ability to intervene and achieve greater well-being and effectiveness in achieving the results that matter to us. In the ontological coaching process, growth occurs in the domain of Being, through transformational learning that questions, with respect, the traditional ways of perceiving and interpreting, where people and teams change their habitual patterns of conduct and behavior. Ontological coaching develops the attitude and aptitude to generate new ideas, to create new possibilities, to discover new meanings, to invent new paths, and to find new connections, either at the individual or social level. It is to be able to let go the safe and known, to begin a journey to the region of the not yet explored, and to dare to design a future according to our concerns. The ontological coach is a facilitator of learning processes who respectfully questions the ways in which people perceive their realities and situations to allow them to change strategies, and make them more effective in achieving the desired results. To achieve greater effectiveness and well-being, it is necessary to question the old ways of thinking, to learn how to practice a new game, to expand the ability to see and think, to generate new courses of action, and obtain results that, previous to the intervention of ontological coaching, could have been unthinkable. Both actions and effects depend on the type of observer we are. Through learning we can obtain new results through new actions.

Ontological Coaching

Ontology has a philosophical origin and is called the BEING theory, it comes from the Greek, from the verb to be, science, study, and theory.

Ontological coaching is in charge of the reflection that the human being can make about himself, through language and through it, change his way of observing his reality.

Being aware of this, he begins to discover the origin of his behaviors, giving him the freedom to modify those that do not work for those that give him more stability and personal power.

This broadens his range of possibilities for action to achieve brilliant and unusual results.

By creating awareness of the behavioral patterns that he manages in his life and what their origin is, the individual comes to a new understanding of how he is structured.

This gives him access to see a new possibility, which provides him with a feeling of lightness, tranquility, peace, and harmony.

Objectives

To develop one's own knowledge.

To open the perceptual panorama of possibilities.

To identify patterns of behavior.

To raise the level of communication.

To learn how to resolve conflicts with speed.

To create a team.

To create commitment.

To create an atmosphere of harmony.

To generate sense of community.

A coach is someone who can orient you, guide you, or push you to achieve a goal for something that you need to overcome. It will be necessary to consider that the person’s will is essential, because if he does not want to change and tries to deceive himself with self-lies, it is better that he does not try because he will waste his time. The root of every problem is born from oneself. Emotions, thoughts, and dark attitudes are generated from the concepts, beliefs, and emotions that are automatic and imposed during the life of the person. Therefore, the development of such darkness is staggered and covers his life of darkness, failure, fears, addictions, paranoia, belligerence, and obsessions, and even the person's own image is transformed to create a hard, serious, rigid rictus, without spontaneity, almost violent. It could be said that if he suffered a wound, his spilled blood would be obscured by so much darkness inside. There is no other way than to change mental structures, create new neural networks, generate new emotions, seek to do what we like, and modify the environment. All people who surround themselves with empty people, or who reproduce to subdue their children, and even marry, do so, otherwise no one would tolerate them. Those who take refuge in their wealth, their housing, or their work; or those who feed on appearance, deception, do not fulfill covenants, are lacking in their words, or evasive in their responsibilities, are simply fleeing from the reason why they were born and die: Transform and be oneself. Being oneself is the next way of Homo Sapiens, given that what is happening now in the neural networks of the species is to Have, therefore the leap will be made when the Having is socially resolved, and the time comes to Be for the whole human species.

Ontological coaching is a discipline whose objective is basically to facilitate transformational learning processes in which individuals, teams, and organizations discover and develop their potential, expanding their possibilities for action and increasing the quality and effectiveness of their forms of work and coexistence.

Human Relationships

Human beings live in interpretive worlds, we do not perceive the world as it is, but as our moods and mental models allow. These domains are the ones that determine our behavior. That is why applying known techniques will inevitably lead us to the same results, within our own paradigms. Ontological coaching recognizes the generative power of language. We interpret human beings as linguistic beings, living in language, and through it we constantly transform, generating our identity as people and institutions. This is the discovery of how much power of action we have as people, in relation to the world and the circumstances we perceive, and on which we want to generate results that we really care about. Three domains have been identified that make us human beings:

Language

Corporality 

Emotions 

Language

Master the judgments that determine the way that the human being observes and acts. That is: what is his structure of thought, and how does he think about the world, those around him, the past, the future, and himself. These judgments mark his way of seeing the world by setting limits in learning, generating meaning, and interpreting what happens to us.

Corporality

Observe how we stand in the world and how we move. For example, interpret the signals sent to us by our body so that by changing movements and gestures, we can achieve the proposed objectives. Some examples of change in our corporality to predispose us to see possibilities where we are not seeing them would be: breathing exercises, changing body posture, etc.

Emotions

Recognize that the relationships and results we get in our lives depend on the moods we have. Work with the person or team so that they can recognize their moods to see if they are open or closed to possibilities, and from there learn to design a mood that allows them to achieve those results that they are not obtaining. We usually see in companies how people's moods determine their behavior