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    It's Not My Fault!
    It's Not My Fault!
    It's Not My Fault!
    Ebook133 pages32 minutes

    It's Not My Fault!

    By Roger Stevens and Steven Withrow

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Packed full of every type of poem you can think of, this quirky, wonderful collection of poems from Roger Stevens and Steven Withrow, with fantastic funny illustrations from Katie Abey, is a great way to get kids excited about poetry!

    "It wasn't me-or was it He,
    My evil, evil, evil twin?
    I didn't mean to be so mean.
    There goes my evil twin again."

    Join poets Roger Stevens and Steven Withrow for this magical mixture of poems. Sometimes funny, sometimes serious there's something here for everyone. Just remember though - whatever happens...
    it's not my fault!

    Book band: Dark Blue
    Ideal for ages 9-10
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBloomsbury Publishing
    Release dateAug 11, 2016
    ISBN9781472919977
    It's Not My Fault!
    Author

    Roger Stevens

    Roger Stevens is a children's author and poet who visits schools performing and running workshops. His books include The Jumble Book, compiled for Dyslexia Action and Why Otters Don't Wear Socks. Roger also runs the Poetry Zone, a website for children and teachers.

    Read more from Roger Stevens

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      Book preview

      It's Not My Fault! - Roger Stevens

      AN UNUSUAL ASSEMBLY

      (for St Mary’s Primary School, Ashford)

      RS

      No way can they pin this on me!

      They can’t blame me at all.

      The dislodged dust

      falling from the rafters like snow

      glittering in the rays of sunshine

      The shrieks, the squeals, the hubbub, the noise…

      Paul, bursting into tears

      because it’s all too much

      The yelling and confusion

      But for once, it’s not me!

      I didn’t let the pigeon into the hall.

      NAMES

      SW

      Troublemaker

      Window-Breaker

      Oh, I’ve been called the lot.

      Shoplifter

      Thief, Drifter

      Names for things I’m not.

      Hoodlum, Punk

      Head-Full-of-Junk

      Why do they think that they...

      Chump, Cheat

      Belongs-on-the-Street

      ... deserve the final say?

      BEST FRIEND

      RS

      Usually she sees me from across the playground

      And rushes over

      All talk and excitement

      Like Auntie Rachel’s puppy

      Usually we swap lunchboxes

      I love her dad’s cheese and pickle sandwiches

      She loves my mum’s egg and salad cream

      Usually we sit together on the mat

      While Miss Moss tells us what’s in store

      And we listen to the morning poem

      And catch up on the continuing exploits of Class Four

      But not today

      Perhaps she’s feeling under the weather

      (Dad says this forever rain is getting everyone down)

      Perhaps she got out of the wrong side of bed

      Perhaps she’s anxious about this afternoon’s spelling test

      Perhaps…

      It was something that I said

      UNHAPPY HYDRA

      SW

      Heads, I’ve got too many.

      Family, friends? Not any.

      Almost clicked with Hercules.

      Big Guy and I were meant-to-bes.

      Moment when I turned my back,

      Herc the Jerk switched sides and – THWAK!

      Thought that we were buds, but no...

      Took two weeks for my heads to regrow.

      THE TWINS

      RS

      Look,

      Here comes Luke

      And Luke’s brother, Mike

      Although they’re twins

      Mike looks nothing like Luke

      But, strangely, Luke has a look-alike

      And stranger still

      The look-alike is also called Luke

      But Mike has no look-alike, unlike Luke

      They call twin Luke, Luke One

      And the other Luke, Luke Two

      Everyone likes Luke One

      And they like Luke’s look-alike Luke Two, too

      And they like Mike

      Who, in many ways, is not unlike his twin

      They just don’t look alike

      Mike lent me his bike.

      What’s not to like?

      WENDELL McRANDAL

      SW

      Wendell McRandal caused quite a school scandal

      By cribbing off Lib Lester’s test.

      And I heard him mention he earned a detention

      When he copped to the crime and confessed.

      I note with revulsion he merits expulsion,

      But with Wendell no charge seems to stick.

      Put nothing above him; the teachers all love him.

      That snake makes me physically sick.

      IT WASN’T MY FAULT

      RS

      It wasn’t my

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