Disoriented

© 2007 Delia Low. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 2/20/2007

ISBN: 1-4259-1625-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4670-1597-4 (ebk)

Printed in the United States of America

Bloomington, Indiana

Contents

CHAPTER 1: AILEEN, 1954 

CHAPTER 2: SAMUEL & JACK, 1855 

CHAPTER 3: MAI-KO 

CHAPTER 4: GEOFFREY 

CHAPTER 5: NEW HOPE, 1885 

CHAPTER 6: THE HOME HELP, 1954 

CHAPTER 7: THE SHOCKS, 1867 

CHAPTER 7: MOVING ON, 1868 

CHAPTER 8: KATE, 1881 

CHAPTER 9: GEOFFREY’S TRIUMPHS AND DISASTERS 

CHAPTER 10: EMILY, 1954 

CHAPTER 11: KATE’S YOUNG LOVE, 1902 

CHAPTER 11: GOLD, 1897 

CHAPTER 12: GEOFFREY’S PROPOSAL, 1903 

CHAPTER 13: CHEFOO WEDDING, 1904, AND THE DRUMMING 

CHAPTER 14: ANNIVERSARY EVE, 1954 

CHAPTER 15: GEOFFREY & THE GRANDCHILDREN, 1954 

CHAPTER 16: GEOFFREY’S MEMORIES OF SHANGHAI, 1900; AND KATE’S FALL, 1954 

CHAPTER 17: BARNET HOSPITAL, 1954. REMEMBERING JAPAN 

CHAPTER 18: 1954 THE LETTER, and AILEEN’S HOSPITAL VISIT 

CHAPTER 20: AILEEN & GEOFFREY, 1954 

Acknowledgements:

Dedication: To my very dear uncle Eric, without whose research this story would never have come to light.

Author’s Note: The bare bones of this story are true. Three of the central characters are based on real life, but their names changed to protect them. The fourth, Aileen, is entirely fictional. My intention has been to honour my grand- and great-grandparents for their very survival, and for what they achieved against crippling odds: not least, the creation of a close, generous and highly original family.

CHAPTER 1:

AILEEN, 1954 

Kate did not catch it at first, but when the doorbell shrilled a second time, she picked up the vibration and rose stiffly to her feet to answer it. Standing outside in the grey, windy morning was a woman in her mid fifties whom Kate had never seen before.

Mrs Lipton? she asked uncertainly, in a Northern accent with a hint of Irish. I should have written to you, but I was so keen to meet you once I’d discovered - !

Kate stopped her. Just a minute, she said, smiling, I’m deaf, you see. Who did you say you were?

The younger woman took a deep breath. She said, unsteadily but more loudly, My name is Aileen, Aileen Smiles. I am a relation of yours … and I very much wanted to meet you. But I didn’t know if you were even aware of my existence.

Kate, who had been reading her lips, reached out and held onto the doorpost for a minute. Not much surprised her, these days, but this visit was a bolt from the blue, and she could feel her heart lurching dangerously. While she waited for it to quieten she studied the pleasant face before her, taking in the dark, almond-shaped eyes. A baffling mix of outrage, admiration and kinship swept through her. She said, You’d better come in out of the cold.

For so long now Kate had concentrated on merely keeping herself and Geoffrey going. Geoffrey was already eighty-four, she herself eighty-three. Many days, the task felt like gripping the helm of one of her father’s whalers in a fast current, trying to anticipate the reefs which would spell disaster. All her energy went into planning ahead: what to ask the home help to buy for their lunch; when would Geoffrey’s bed need changing again; had they enough light-bulbs and coal in; was the laundry ready for collection; and, most urgently, would they hear today whether their pensions were being restored to the earlier amount, following the appeal made by their son? It was 1954, not long after the War, and life was still not easy.

Her family, the shining triumph of her life, came and went. They had always lived at some distance, with the exception of her son Oswald who was such a pillar. They all had such interesting and busy lives, which they told her about, personally or in letters. Letters were Kate’s lifeline. Her eyesight was still quite good, thank God; and although her right hand shook, it could still form recognisable sentences. She had thought this was it: this was the pattern the last years of her life would take. Quiet, humdrum, predictable.

And suddenly, this.

Kate led the way into the shabby sitting-room, with its worn Oriental carpet, dark sideboard and cake-stand; deep, sagging arm-chairs. Kate patted the sofa beside her, and reached for her ear-trumpet. Sit here, where I can hear you, she said. She was looking into lively black eyes in the kindly face, incredibly, of her father. How strange that certain features skip two, three, generations, she thought.

The stranger waited, a little anxiously, for permission to begin. Kate said, slowly, You must be my father’s grand-daughter, is that right?

It is! exclaimed Aileen with relief. "My mother was called Madge; and her mother was Mai-ko, who brought her and Uncle Thomas to Ireland from China."

Kate pondered this. This is quite a shock for me, she said mildly. "Of course I knew about Father’s ‘little mistake,’ as we called it then - I don’t want to hurt your feelings - when his Will was proved. We could not believe our ears. You see, we were quite a respectable family in those days! She gave an ironic little laugh. He was so highly thought of, in the Chinese Customs Service. But we never knew any details: what happened to the children - or even to their Chinese mother. Shaking herself, she remembered her manners. But you must be thirsty. Would you like tea?"

Afternoon tea, English-style, was one of the traditions Kate cherished. So much had disappeared from her past life in China and Japan: the fine houses, servants, most of the elegant china and glassware. A few pieces of silverware survived, but now they were all mixed up with cheap, utility stuff in the kitchen shelves of a North London semi. In a kind of reverie as she filled the kettle, Kate reflected that the excuse for all that finery had long gone. She recalled, as she had not for years, the anxiety, verging on panic, of her early married days. What was the protocol: should she send out visiting-cards first, or wait for the older resident to do so? Geoffrey was after all only a senior clerk at the Bank in Yokohama at that stage; and among her neighbours she knew there were an architect and his wife, as well as an inventor. She had longed, then, for her mother: her wisdom, experience, and advice. But Ann-Marie had long been dead, and Kate had had to determine the correct way of doing thing as best she could.

Clattering the bone china cups and saucers as she reached them down from unaccustomed shelves, Kate remembered wryly how important it had seemed to create the right impression for the sake of Geoffrey’s career. She was eager to do this, even before she’d experienced his fearful rages when things weren’t right - according to his peculiar, almost obsessive code. It had taken her some time to realise that many people responded to her, though, with kindness. They were a little wary, however, of Geoffrey, and in his defence she found herself enthusing too obviously about his merits.

With great care Kate made tea in the tarnished silver teapot, and thought with a start "How extraordinary, that my excuse for preparing a tea-party now should be the grand-daughter of my Father’s Chinese mistress! Will she think I am serving it correctly, I wonder?’’ The milk slopped a little as she brought it from the refrigerator and poured it into the slightly chipped jug which matched the set. Increasingly, these days, there was a temptation to pour straight from bottle to cups…. Finally she produced three little cakes, provided by her home help, and set them on a plate. Gone were the days of dainty cucumber sandwiches to put before her guests, she thought with a half-smile.

Aileen? she called. Would you mind carrying the tray through for me? My hands shake so, these days! Geoffrey will be up from the garden in a minute, she explained, as Aileen noted the extra cup and plate.

She could hear Geoffrey’s Wellingtons coming up the garden as she lowered herself slowly onto the settee. How was she going to explain Aileen’s presence? And how to prevent him from trying to take her over, as he was inclined to do with an attractive woman?

Geoffrey came slowly into the room in his gardening-clothes, smelling faintly musty. His bald head was shining from his exertions, and he still carried himself erect. He did not know the meaning of illness. He stopped short and stared at Aileen. Good gracious! he exclaimed, and prepared to switch on the charm.

Kate said immediately, as Aileen rose to greet him, Geoffrey, this is Aileen, a friend of my father’s family in Ireland. She has family news to tell me which would not interest you. Aileen, my husband. Now, Geoffrey, I’m going to give you your tea and ask you to leave us in peace. Aileen hasn’t much time, she fabricated, glancing hastily to the visitor to corroborate the story, and making her way across to Geoffrey with teacup and plate. To her relief, he responded to the firmness in her tone and reluctantly took his leave.

Now,’’ demanded Kate once she was seated again, tell me how you ever managed to track us down?’’ Aileen embarked on a description of visits to public libraries, and time spent in archives departments, whilst Kate watched her face, her lively, dancing eyes, and expressive hands. Some of it she could hear; the rest she had to reconstruct as best she could.

And when I discovered that you were likely to be still alive, and living in London, I was so excited, I could not wait! Aileen was saying, with the enthusiasm of a much younger person. "I just hope it hasn’t all been too much for you?’’ she added anxiously.

Kate smiled and patted her hand. I’ve been through more shocking things than this’’ she said. I hope one day soon I’ll be able to tell you about some of the adventures your Grandfather went through, with all of us. There won’t be time today. But you, and your mother: was it difficult, or embarrassing, growing up in Northern Ireland, with this history behind you?’’

Aileen’s face clouded. She said slowly into the speaking-trumpet, "Of course there weren’t that many people who looked Chinese around Carrickfergus, you can imagine! So questions were always asked, especially when my Mother was at school. And it wasn’t easy for her not having either parent around. When the Parker grandparents died and the farm was sold, Auntie Margaret decided to take her, and Uncle Thomas, across to Liverpool to live. Money had always been very tight, of course, so they all hoped for a better life.’’

Kate digested this for a minute. Then she asked,