His Bittersweet Regret

Chapter 1

OPAL

When are you guys going to grow up and try new people on for size?

Excuse me? I turned to see the smirks on Marsh’s brothers’ faces as Cassy Andros asked the awful question. I pretended not to know what she meant, but it was stupid to do so. Marsh and Opal, together since they were fifteen years old, had always been the running joke amongst most of our friends and family. We had been one another’s firsts. Well, not first kisses, but everything else. It had been me and Marshall Kennedy against the world since we started dating in our sophomore year of high school, and nothing had changed since. We were now both going on twenty-three years old and still together. Even though we were still happy together, everyone around us still tried to tear us apart. I often wondered if it was just jealousy because we had found our other halves so soon without having to go through all the crap everyone else seemed to. Who knew?

Oh, come on, isn’t it time you two took a break and explored new people? I didn’t miss the way Cassy’s eyes wandered hungrily over Marsh’s body. He kept himself in good shape, even though he would never be mistaken for a gym rat. Sure, he ran and worked out, just not to excess. His hair was trimmed short, with the top portion of his light brown locks hanging down his forehead while the rest was tapered down from a buzz cut to a close shave by the time you got to his nape. The hair he lacked on top of his head was made up for by the full, well-maintained beard and mustache, a few shades darker than what grew on his head.

I loved his beard. I remembered when he couldn’t grow one at all and just had sparse little sprigs of hair everywhere as he tried. It always brought a grin to my face when I thought of it, and that was one of the things that made us special. We had history together. We grew together as the people we were now, and that meant we had a closer bond than most of the couples we knew.

Why in the world would he need to do that? Just so you can have a turn on the only Kennedy brother you haven’t managed to sink onto? Granted, it was a bitchy thing to say, but it was the absolute truth. Cassy had been with Bastion, Brixton, and Jimmy. I doubted she had been with Ryker, since he was still only seventeen, but I honestly wouldn’t put it past her. That meant the only brother who wasn’t disturbingly close to the age of consent was Marshall.

Cassy laughed at me. Oh honey! If I wanted your little boytoy, I would take him from you. You guys think you have this crazy bond, but… She pointed her finger to the left, where Marsh was laughing at something a cute little blond was saying. She looked like a pixie, but one that had her law degree and fought crime for a living. Cassy tittered as my eyes lingered on the scene she pointed out.

Good for him, I heard Brixton mutter. I turned to face him, more because I didn’t want Cassy to see the moisture building in my eyes, than anything else.

What have I ever done to you? I asked. At least the flush on his cheeks showed that he was a little embarrassed, but that didn’t stop him from speaking his mind again.

Listen, Opal, it’s nothing against you. I just don’t want to see my brother plodding along miserably five years from now, with two toddlers underfoot, wondering why he never bothered to live his life to the fullest while he was able to.

I don’t understand why you guys hate me so much, I whispered. There was no mistaking the fact that the Kennedy boys didn’t want me with their brother. The twins had tried, numerous times, to break us up while we were in college. That started because instead of going to their father’s Alma Mater as the rest of the boys had, Marsh had gone to a local state university with me. The whole family had been disappointed in his decision.

I don’t know why they were. The rest of the boys – except Ryker who was still in high school – all carried six figure student loan debt. Marsh didn’t owe a dime thanks to scholarships, cheaper tuition, and being able to live at home, and then our apartment, rather than dorms.

I watched Marsh, who was still chatting with the pixie girl, until he finally glanced over and remembered that I was there. He immediately left her side and came to mine.

What’s wrong?

Nothing. I’m not feeling well. I’m going to head home, but you should stay.

I’m not staying if you’re leaving.

Marsh, please, stay. Your brothers already hate me. They think I trapped you into a life with me somehow and that you’re not living it up to the fullest.

This again? Marsh asked with a roll of his eyes. When I said nothing, he glanced back down to see the hot tears that threatened to fall. Opal.

My name was a whisper on his lips as he leaned in and kissed the top of my head. I was dainty compared to Marsh. In fact, the blonde pixie was probably an inch taller than me. While other people might have described me in the same light that I had done for her, I never saw it when I looked in the mirror. I was girl-next-door pretty with my black hair, short, tanned legs, and slender body. My boobs were a B-cup on a good day and my eyes were just as dark as my hair. There was nothing spectacular about me.

The crazy thing was, knowing all that, I knew there didn’t have to be anything spectacular because Marsh loved me for the whole package – inside and out. It gave me the confidence to know I never had a thing to worry about. At least, I never had before tonight. I recognized that look in his eyes when he’d been talking to the pixie. It was interest. Cassy – though I’d never admit it to her – had been right.

You know I don’t mind coming back home with you.

I know, but honestly, you should stay and have a good time. I’m feeling a little queasy and don’t want to ruin anything for you.

If you’re feeling queasy, I should be there to help you.

Yeah? I asked with a little tease in my tone. How are you going to help me to not be queasy?

His brows pulled together as he thought, then he grinned down at me. I’ll be your snuggle pillow. That always makes you feel better. I couldn’t hide the smile that his answer elicited from me. He wasn’t wrong about that. I patted his chest with my hand in appreciation.

Stay, please. It’ll give me a chance to get a little rest before you get home. I glanced over toward Brix, who was scowling at me. Besides, Brixton was looking forward to you being here tonight. Please, don’t let your brothers down on my account.

Fine, but I won’t stay long, just long enough to appease them. I sincerely hoped that wasn’t true, because I was beginning to think the only thing that would appease Brixton Kennedy was if I fell off the face of the earth and his brother nailed at least three of the single women at the party before going home.

Chapter 2

MARSH

Where did your ball and chain go? Brix asked me when I made my way back over to him after walking Opal out.

What the hell is your problem with my girlfriend?

Aww, come on little brother, you know we don’t have a problem with Opal.

Really? Could have fooled me. She left here feeling unwell.

What’s her tummy ache got to do with me?

Maybe nothing, but the tears in her eyes definitely seemed to be a problem that maybe you caused.

Brix threw his hand up as if to wave away my words. I can’t help that your little high school crush is sensitive. It wasn’t even me that made her that way.

Yeah? Then who?

Brixton laughed as our brother – his twin – Bastion stood there watching us banter back and forth. Well, little brother, she was being schooled by Miss Cassy Andros about that longing look you were throwing to Tandra.

Who the hell is Tandra? I asked, seriously not having a clue. And why would Opal ever be ruffled by anything Cassy had to say? She knows what her agenda is and that it will never happen in this lifetime.

Tandra was the cute, blonde fairy-like girl you were just hanging out with while your soon-to-be-wife stood over here with Cassy in her ear, pointing out that longing look on your face.

I got ready to deny it, but Bastion stopped me. Don’t bother denying it. We all saw how interested you were, man. Opal included. He tacked on the last bit as I glanced back toward the door. My stomach clenched as I thought about Opal leaving after thinking that I might be interested in someone else.

Why had she done that? As much as I wanted to deny it, what they were saying was true. I might not have known the girl’s name, but she had been fascinating in a way other women hadn’t been for me in a long time. I rubbed my hand across the center of my chest, trying to ease the discomfort there.

Did she think I wanted to stay for the other woman – for Tandra? I hoped not.

Hey man! Been looking for you. My best friend, Cramer – who I’d called Crayfish since we were in grade school – called out while slapping my back.

Been standing right here for a while.

Yeah, I know. I was going to talk to you earlier, but saw that you were finally interested in someone other than Opal and wanted to leave you to it. That aching pang hit my chest again – dead center. Did everyone in the whole party notice? Don’t get your nuts all bunched, man. Don’t think anyone else realized.

Wrong! Bastion called out before he walked away to go grab another drink. Brixton sniggered and followed in his twin’s wake.

Damn, the twins caught you too, huh?

Worse, I admitted while allowing my head to hang heavily on my shoulders. Apparently, Cassy had to go run her mouth to Opal again and she managed to point it out.

Damn, what did your woman have to say?

Not much. She said she wasn’t feeling well and left. That was before I knew that Cassy pointed out that I was talking to Tandra and ran her mouth about it.

Cramer laughed, and not for the first time, I kind of wanted to punch the asshole in the face. Seriously? She didn’t even want to force you home or stick around to make sure you didn’t follow through?

That question might have been what was gnawing at my chest. She simply left and didn’t seem worried about leaving me behind either.

What if she’s the one getting sick of you, and this is her way of setting you up to take the fall? Cramer surmised. Oh shit! Seriously! Imagine if she was the one to leave your ass in the dust after all these years. Maybe she finally saw the writing on the wall and figured it was time.

I punched the bastard that time. What the fuck man? I asked you before to stop talking about Opal like that. Why is everyone so against the two of us being happy together?

We’re not, dude. We’ve all told you before, we think you just need to take a break from her to go fishing for a while. There are tons of other women in this vast sea. The fact that you noticed one tonight speaks volumes. You two settled down early, it’s not natural.

My parents met in high school. They’re still together.

Remember that time we overheard them yelling out in the garage about your dad’s secretary? Cramer asked, eyebrow cocked up in a questioning gesture. My heart sank. We had overheard that argument a few years ago. My parents were still together, but their marriage had been on rocky ground for a while there, and if I were being honest, it still wasn’t back to normal.

I just want what’s best for you. I know it would kill you if you ever stepped out on Opal while you were together. Look at your dad, man. He’s been miserable ever since we heard them fighting, maybe even before that. He’s had to scrape and claw to keep your mom and I don’t think he even stuck his dick in the secretary, it was more like a sexless relationship where he carried his marital problems to her and she thanked him for it with hugs and the comfort he wasn’t getting at home.

Unfortunately, I heard more than just that one argument between my parents over the past couple years, and Cramer wasn’t wrong. Just because it happened with my parents, after nearly thirty years of marriage, didn’t mean shit, right? That didn’t mean it would happen with Opal and me.

I was planning on going to get her a ring this weekend.

What? No! No fucking way. Brix, Bas! Get over here, quick! Cramer shouted. I wanted to fucking punch him again.

What’s up? Bastion asked as they both sauntered over.

This idiot wants to get a ring for Opal this weekend and make it official and shit.

Aw, man, and here I thought we were finally getting through to you! Brixton lamented before sipping on his beer again.

Dude, you don’t even know if you’re having good sex, Bas taunted.

I get off just fine, thank you.

My point exactly. You think that just because you get off, that the sex with Opal is good. You two fumble-fucked your way through losing your virginities to one another and it’s probably just been trial and error – if that – ever since. You know what variety is, brother? It’s the spice of life. There are things other people teach us that we didn’t even know we needed to learn, and that can’t happen if the only woman you’re ever with is Opal.

Oddly enough, that was the one point my brothers had made that I couldn’t argue with. There were times when the sex was just a way to scratch an itch. There wasn’t really anything exciting about it. It wasn’t always like that, but it had been a lot lately.

There was also the issue of the intense buzzing energy I felt when I’d talked to Tandra earlier in the evening. I hadn’t felt that kind of energy since I first asked Opal out and we started dating at fifteen. It was a crazy mix of excitement and anticipation. I stared at my best friend and brothers, wondering if maybe I should have stopped being hard-headed when I was in college and listened to them.

I knew I’d missed a few experiences by living at home and going to a local state college as opposed to what they had all lived through. Granted, I was also more financially stable already because I wasn’t bogged down by major student loans the way they all were. Truthfully, I think the tradeoff was better on my end in that respect, but it didn’t stop me from wondering what I’d missed out on. Who I had missed out on. What would those experiences have been like had I not been hooked on Opal all this time?

I loved her. There was no denying that. Still, there was a part of me, especially recently, that wondered if maybe there was something more out there. That voice in the back of my mind always nagged that I was missing out, like everyone kept telling me I was. Even my father had given a few subtle hints that maybe I needed to truly be on my own for a bit to see what life was like without Opal before settling down with her. He told me he didn’t honestly see me with anyone else, but that he also didn’t want to see me struggle with regrets and what ifs the way he had from time-to-time through the years.

Looks like he’s finally giving things some serious thought, fellas. Brixton was a dick, but he also wasn’t wrong.

Think about all that sex you could be having. Right now, Tandra could be sucking you off in the bathroom, or you could be fucking her on the counter. If not her, maybe you could make Cass’s dreams come true and let her have the final Kennedy brother.

What about Ryker? Wouldn’t he be the final one?

He would have been if he hadn’t fucked her last weekend when his girl broke up with him, Bastion informed me.

Jesus, are you serious? He’s not even eighteen yet.

So what? Our baby brother was plenty willing.

The scowl I sent my brother’s way only made him laugh. Come on, Marsh, let’s go find that little blond you were so hot for. You’ve never been with anyone else. Maybe, it’s time for a real change of scenery to realize that you’ve been missing out on quite a bit of life while playing happy couples with the first girl you dated.

My stomach tossed and turned with nerves as I allowed my brothers to guide me back over to the girl who I had been so infatuated with earlier. Guilt tickled somewhere in the back of my mind, but I quickly doused it in another beer. I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I was talking to another girl, but that was it. For some reason, the argument that my parents had, played out in my memory, and reminded me that my father hadn’t physically done anything wrong with another woman either. My mom had still felt completely betrayed by the actions he took.

The minute Tandra smiled up at me, I forgot all about the troubles my parents had and how they related to what I was doing. I forgot all about my girlfriend, and the fact she had gone home not feeling well. I definitely forgot that I told her I wouldn’t be much longer before I joined her at home. Instead, I let myself go and enjoyed talking to a woman who intrigued me and offered a heightened level of excitement I hadn’t felt in a really long time.

Chapter 3

OPAL

What are you going to do if you are pregnant? I whispered to Bethany, my best friend since seventh grade, and the only person who didn’t seem to have an issue with the fact that I’d found my soulmate at fifteen. She thought it was romantic that we had stuck together this long and still seemed happier than ever together.

No clue, Bethany mumbled. What are you doing? She asked as I grabbed one of the ten pregnancy tests she had purchased from the pharmacy earlier.

I shrugged my shoulders. Figured I’d take one with you. Bestie solidarity!

Bethany laughed and then hugged me as we each held a test in our hands. Thanks, O. I needed that laugh.

You probably needed the laugh more than you needed all ten of these tests. Why so many?

It was her turn to shrug. I didn’t know if one worked better than the others. Why don’t you go first?

I laughed at her. I’m not even the one who thinks she’s pregnant, but fine, chicken. I’ll go first.

I took the test to the bathroom and peed on the stick. As I left the bathroom, I let her know that I’d left mine on the back of the toilet so that it was out of the way and wouldn’t get mixed up with the three she took in with her, since she needed more counter space.

It took Bethany a few minutes to come back out, which made me nervous for her. Everything okay in there? I asked.

When my bestie opened the door, I realized that none of her boxes were even opened yet. Um, Opal, She started to say.

What? They all have pretty simple directions. You basically pee on the end of each stick and then set it down to wait three-to-five minutes for them to process.

Opal! Bethany startled me with the urgency in her tone. Look, She pointed to the back of the toilet, where my test sat. I moved toward the toilet, thinking maybe some pee had been dribbling off the test, and grossed her out or something.

That wasn’t what startled my friend though. As I glanced down, I realized why she was so concerned. My test, the one I only took to make her feel better, was positive.

This can’t be, I whispered after picking the test up to examine it, as if that would make the results different.

I’m so sorry I made you take a test with me, she apologized. I shook my head to dismiss her apology.

It’s not like the outcome would change. I just wouldn’t have known for a while longer. Hurry up and take yours, I pushed her back into the bathroom while taking my own positive test with me. Briefly, I wondered if maybe I should take another one, just to verify, but then the ache in my overly tender breasts reminded me that I still hadn’t had a period this month, even though it was…

I glanced at my phone and the period tracker I had there. More than two weeks overdue, I mumbled to myself. How had I not realized sooner? There was work, and all the worries on my mind lately about everyone trying to sabotage my relationship with Marsh, even though I thought he was headed in a completely different direction. I had honestly expected him to take the next step toward becoming more serious, not less. Ugh! I had to stop thinking about his stupid brothers.

When Bethany finally came back out of the bathroom, it was with three pregnancy test sticks and a guilty look on her face.

Not you too? I asked, feeling sympathetic, because she was not in a committed relationship the way I was. Marsh and I weren’t necessarily ready to have kids yet, but we were financially stable together, and in a healthy relationship.

No, I’m not. I just feel bad that…

Stop! I told her in no uncertain terms. It’s fine. You did me a favor because now I know and can start planning on getting to the doctor. There are vitamins I need to take, I think. Obviously, I need to buy a book about pregnancy or something, I rambled. My best friend stood there staring at me, and my brain spewed the first thing to come to mind in my nervousness.

Beth, what would you have done if you were pregnant? Do you know who the father might have been?

Wow! That’s kind of an asshole thing to ask, She snapped at me.

Sorry, it’s just that you’ve gone out with several guys, and I’m worried about you. If you thought you were pregnant, then are you being careful? I don’t want to see you end up with a baby to take care of on your own, let alone whatever diseases might be possible.

I know, I’m sorry I snapped at you. Honestly, I’m just angry with myself because I don’t know. And God help me, I wouldn’t even know how to get in contact with two of the guys because they were just random Tinder hookups. She moved to hug me, and once again, I had to stop her.

Can you throw your pee sticks away and wash your hands before we hug it out? I asked.

Both of us laughed as she did just that. I’d already placed my test into a plastic Ziplock bag, so that I could show it to Marsh when he got home. We hadn’t really talked much since the party a few nights ago because of our work schedules. He also had to go help his family with a few things that had been keeping him busy and away from the apartment.

What are you going to do? Bethany asked.

Bring my baby up with two loving parents. I think Marsh is hunting for an engagement ring. He’s been a little cagey lately, and I bet anything he’s worried about getting something I won’t like. I laughed lightly at the thought. Honestly, I’ll love anything he brings to me because I’ll know it was from the heart.

Aww, you two are so damn sweet. I grinned at her. I wish I could find what you have with Marsh. A worried look consumed her then, and I poked her in the side to get her to spill. We didn’t keep secrets.

What’s wrong?

Please, don’t take this the wrong way because I know you hear it far too often. I’m not saying it like the others do, but what if something happens between you and Marsh? What if the others truly get into his head about how he needs to split up with you and go fuck every available woman in the country before deciding to settle down?

I laughed at the thought. That would never happen, Beth. You know Marsh.

Sure, but what if?

Then, at least I’ll still be able to tell my child, or children, that they were brought into this world because their mom and dad loved one another. I don’t want them to think they were an accident from a night of sloppy sex with a stranger who never deserved my time. I gave my bestie a knowing look.

I know. I know. Trust me, I learned a lesson this month.

There’s no judgment here, but Beth, if you really want something like what Marsh and I have, you won’t find it on a hookup app or by hopping into bed with a man before you even know his name.

You’re right. She agreed as her teeth sunk into her bottom lip and sad eyes moved to meet my own. I always thought it would be Brix, she admitted. I had known about Beth’s crush on Marsh’s brother since we were in middle school, but the asshole had never given my best friend the time of day.

Brix being blind to my friend’s crush wasn’t what made him an asshole. He couldn’t be held at fault for not being