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    Umbrellas and Their History
    Umbrellas and Their History
    Umbrellas and Their History
    Ebook71 pages56 minutes

    Umbrellas and Their History

    By William Sangster

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    About this ebook

    DigiCat Publishing presents to you this special edition of "Umbrellas and Their History" by William Sangster. DigiCat Publishing considers every written word to be a legacy of humankind. Every DigiCat book has been carefully reproduced for republishing in a new modern format. The books are available in print, as well as ebooks. DigiCat hopes you will treat this work with the acknowledgment and passion it deserves as a classic of world literature.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherDigiCat
    Release dateAug 15, 2022
    ISBN8596547172970
    Umbrellas and Their History

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    • 5/5
      I have no clue why this was in my recommendations or why I clicked it, but I’m glad I did. No other book has ever so thoroughly grabbed my attention before I finished the first sentence. Granted, it was because I was confused, taken aback, and oddly amused by the absurdity of what I was reading. The author writes with the most hilariously bizarre, overly-formal tone-of-voice as though he’s an over-pompous yet delightfully enthusiastic gentleman of the Victorian Era. Halfway through page one, I had to stop to check if the book was, in fact, a historical book published around the late 1800s to early 1900s, but nope. To my utter shock, it said, “Copyright © 2022”. So is it a parody? A prank? Is it completely serious?
      I sent a screenshot of the first page to a friend (don’t sue me — it was less than two paragraphs) because it was so baffling in the most amusing way. I’ve read nowhere near the entire book, nor do I think I’ll ever read much of it all, but the pages I’ve skimmed seem to provide a legitimately thorough and detailed history of umbrellas. Yet I still don’t know if this is a joke or maybe written by an AI (or both), and it’s somehow funnier that I genuinely can’t tell. Adding to the odd appeal is the perplexing absurdity and randomness of how and why I even came to be reading the magnum opus of a bombastic time-traveling Edwardian umbrella-historian.
      Whether by accident or pure genius or total madness, “Umbrellas and Their History” achieves rare and profound literary goals: it subverted my expectations in a distinct, memorable voice and inspired me to laugh, think, learn, and engage with others for further discussion and contemplation.
      I can’t stop overthinking this. And I don't even own an umbrella. 5/5 stars. Maybe ironically? Maybe not? I'm still trying to figure it out.

    Book preview

    Umbrellas and Their History - William Sangster

    William Sangster

    Umbrellas and Their History

    EAN 8596547172970

    DigiCat, 2022

    Contact: DigiCat@okpublishing.info

    Table of Contents

    CHAPTER I.

    INTRODUCTORY.

    CHAPTER II.

    THE ANCIENT HISTORY OF THE UMBRELLA.

    CHAPTER III.

    THE UMBRELLA IN ENGLAND.

    CHAPTER IV.

    THE STORY OF THE PARACHUTE.

    CHAPTER V.

    UMBRELLA STORIES.

    CHAPTER VI.

    THE REGENERATION OF THE UMBRELLA.

    FINIS

    CHAPTER I.

    Table of Contents

    INTRODUCTORY.

    Table of Contents

    Can it be possibly believed, by the present eminently practical generation, that a busy people like the English, whose diversified occupations so continually expose them to the chances and changes of a proverbially fickle sky, had ever been ignorant of the blessings bestowed on them by that dearest and truest friend in need and in deed, the UMBRELLA? Can you, gentle reader, for instance, realise to yourself the idea of a man not possessing such a convenience for rainy weather?

    Why so much unmerited ridicule should be poured upon the head (or handle) of the devoted Umbrella, it is hard to say. What is there comic in an Umbrella? Plain, useful, and unpretending, if any of man's inventions ever deserved sincere regard, the Umbrella is, we maintain, that invention. Only a few years back those who carried Umbrellas were held to be legitimate butts. They were old fogies, careful of their health, and so on; but now-a-days we are wiser. Everybody has his Umbrella. It is both cheaper and better made than of old; who, then, so poor he cannot afford one? To see a man going out in the rain umbrella-less excites as much mirth as ever did the sight of those who first—wiser than their generation—availed themselves of this now universal shelter. Yet still a touch of the amusing clings to the Gamp, as it is sarcastically called. 'What says Douglas Jerrold on the subject? There are three things that no man but a fool lends, or, having lent, is not in the most helpless state of mental crassitude if he ever hopes to get back again. These three things, my son, are—BOOKS, UMBRELLAS, and MONEY! I believe a certain fiction of the law assumes a remedy to the borrower; but I know of no case in which any man, being sufficiently dastard to gibbet his reputation as plaintiff in such a suit, ever fairly succeeded against the wholesome prejudices of society. Umbrellas may be 'hedged about' by cobweb statutes; I will not swear it is not so; there may exist laws that make such things property; but sure I am that the hissing contempt, the loud-mouthed indignation of all civilised society, 'would sibilate and roar at the bloodless poltroon who should engage law on his side to obtain for him the restitution of a—lent Umbrella!

    Strange to say, it is a fact, melancholy enough, but for all that too true, that our forefathers, scarce seventy years agone, meekly endured the pelting of the pitiless storm without that protection vouchsafed to their descendants by a kind fate and talented inventors. The fact is, the Umbrella forms one of the numerous conveniences of life which seem indispensable to the present generation, because just so long a time has passed since their introduction, that the contrivances which, in some certain degree, previously supplied their place, have passed into oblivion.

    We feel the convenience we possess, without being always aware of the gradations which intervened between it and the complete inconvenience of being continually unsheltered from the rain, without any kind friend from whom to seek the protection so ardently desired.

    Fortunately a very simple process will enable the reader to realise the fact in its full extent; he need only walk about in a pelting shower for some hours without an Umbrella, or when the weight of a cloak would be insupportable, and at the same time remember that seventy years ago a luxury he can now purchase in almost every street, was within the reach of but very few, while omnibuses and cabs were unknown.

    But, apart from considerations of comfort, we may safely claim very much higher qualities as appertaining to the Umbrella. We may even reckon it among the causes that have contributed to lengthen the average of human life, and hold it a most effective agent in the great increase which took place in the population of England between the years 1750 and 1850 as compared with the previous century. The Registrar-General, in his census-report, forgot to mention this fact, but there appears to us not the slightest doubt that the introduction of the Umbrella at the latter part of the former, and commencement of

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