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The Mother at Home
The Mother at Home
The Mother at Home
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The Mother at Home

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First published in 1833, The Mother at Home was particularly written for the stay-at-home-mom. The fact that it's still in print testifies to the fact that so many mothers have found it to be of help to them and recommended it to others. It's so full of little gems that, to glean all, readers could read

LanguageEnglish
Release dateDec 1, 2022
ISBN9781611042115
The Mother at Home

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    The Mother at Home - John S. C. Abbott

    Preface

    THE MOTHER AT HOME, and its companion and counterpart, the CHILD AT HOME, were written simply with the view of affording to mothers in the common walks of life, plain and simple instruction in respect to the right discharge of their maternal duties, and, at the same time, some practical aid in leading the minds of their children to proper views of their obligations to God, to their parents, and to one another. Although one of the volumes is addressed nominally to the mother, and the other to the child, they are in fact each intended for both mothers and children. If a parent reads and explains the MOTHER AT HOME to her children, they will derive great benefit from the exercise, as they will thus be taught to realize something of the nature and the weight of the responsibilities, the duties, and the cares which such a trust as that which is committed to a mother necessarily brings.

    They will thus the more readily acquiesce in the measures adopted for their good, and submit to the authority which ought to be exercised over them; and they may be expected also to imbibe, in some degree, the Christian spirit which the book inculcates. On the other hand, the CHILD AT HOME is intended quite as much to afford to mothers a practical exemplification of the spirit and manner by which their instructions to their children should be characterized, as to act directly upon the children themselves; and its effect even in this last point of view will be greatly enhanced, if the mother, instead of giving her children the book, should read it to them herself, or allow them to read it aloud to her, chapter by chapter, at some calm and silent hour, in the evening or upon the Sabbath, when the hearts of the listeners may be open to salutary impressions, and when the instructions of the printed page may be accompanied by the kind and familiar explanations of the living teacher.

    The volumes thus, though under different names, aim at one and the same end, and are intended as the counterparts and companions of each other. They regard the family as one—and in explaining and enforcing the relative duties of parents and children, they are intended to exert upon the two classes for which they are designed, a common and simultaneous influence.

    Since the original publication of these works, they have been translated into many different languages, and have been circulated very extensively throughout the Christian world. The favor with which they have thus been regarded has led to the republication of them at this time in a new and greatly improved form. The works have been carefully revised, and much enlarged, and the various scenes and incidents described in them are illustrated with numerous engravings, which, it is hoped, will aid in making them attractive both to parents and children.

    1

    Responsibility

    A FEW years ago, some gentlemen who were associated together in a religious institution, in a course of preparation for the Christian ministry, conceived the design of ascertaining what proportion of their number were the children of pious mothers. They were greatly surprised and greatly pleased at finding that out of one hundred and twenty students, over one hundred had been borne by a mother’s prayers, and directed by a mother’s counsels, to the Savior.

    Though some of these had in early life broken away from the restraints of home, and like the prodigal, had wandered deviously for a time in paths of sin and sorrow, yet they could not even in their wanderings forget the impressions of childhood, and were eventually brought to the Savior, in fulfillment of the promises made so frequently in the Scriptures, that success shall sooner or later attend the efforts of parental fidelity, faith, and prayer. Many other striking examples might be added, in addition to this, to show how intimate is the connection between the Christian character of the mother and the salvation of the child.

    The efforts which a mother makes for the improvement of her children in knowledge and virtue are necessarily retired and unobtrusive. The world knows not of them; and hence the world has been slow to perceive how powerful and extensive is this secret and silent influence. But circumstances are now directing the eyes of the community to the young, and the truth is daily coming more distinctly into view, that the influence which is exerted upon the mind during the first eight or ten years of existence, in a great degree guides the destinies of that mind for time and eternity. And as the mother is the guardian and guide of the early years of life, from her emanates the most powerful influence which is exerted in the formation of the character of man. And why should it not be so? What impressions can be stronger, and more lasting, than those received upon the mind in the freshness and the susceptibility of youth? What instructor can gain greater confidence and respect than a mother? And where can there exist circumstances more favorable for guiding human souls into the way of salvation, than when the little flock cluster around a mother’s knee to hear of God and heaven?

    A good boy generally makes a good man. Said the mother of Washington, George was always a good boy. It was this always having been a good boy in childhood that constitutes one great secret of the subsequent greatness of Washington. He had a mother who made him a good boy and instilled into his heart those principles which raised him to be the benefactor of his country, and one of the brightest ornaments of the world. The mother of Washington is entitled to a nation’s gratitude. She taught her boy the principles of obedience, and moral courage, and virtue. She, in a great measure, formed the character of the hero, and the statesman. It was by her own fireside that she taught her boy in the playful years of infancy, to govern himself; and it was thus that he was prepared for the brilliant career of usefulness which he afterward pursued. We are indebted to God for the gift of Washington; but we are no less indebted to him for the gift of his inestimable mother. Had she been a weak, and indulgent, and unfaithful parent, the unchecked energies of her son might have elevated him to the throne of a tyrant; or youthful disobedience might have prepared the way for a life of crime and a dishonored grave.

    Byron had a mother just the reverse of lady Washington; and we see the character of the mother in this case also, reflected in that of the son. We cannot wonder at the character and conduct of Byron, for we see them to be the almost necessary consequence of the education which he received, and the scenes which he witnessed in his mother’s parlor. She would at one time allow him to disobey with impunity; at another she would fly into a rage and beat him. She thus taught him to defy all authority, human and divine; to indulge, without restraint, in sin; to give himself up to the power of every maddening passion. It was the mother of Byron who laid the foundation of his pre-eminence in guilt. She taught him to plunge into that sea of profligacy and wretchedness, upon whose agitated waves he was tossed for life. If the crimes of the poet deserve the execration of the world—the world cannot forget that it was the mother who fostered in his youthful heart those passions which made the son a curse to his fellowmen.

    There are, it is true, innumerable causes incessantly operating in the formation of character. A mother’s influence is by no means the only influence which is exerted. Still, it may be the most powerful; for, with God’s ordinary blessing, it may form in the youthful mind the habits, and implant the principles, to which other influences are to give permanency and vigor.

    A pious and faithful mother may have a dissolute child. Her son may break away from all restraints, and God may leave him to eat the fruit of his own devices. The parent, thus afflicted and broken- hearted, can only bow before the sovereignty of her Maker, who says, be still, and know that I am God. The consciousness, however, of having done one’s duty, divests this affliction of much of its bitterness. And besides, such cases are rare. Profligate children are generally the offspring of parents who have neglected the moral and religious education of their family. Some parents are themselves profligate, and thus not only allow their children to grow up unrestrained, but by their example lure them to sin. But there are others who are very upright, and virtuous, and even pious themselves, who do nevertheless, neglect the moral culture of their children; and as a consequence, they grow up in disobedience and sin. It matters but little what the cause is which leads to this neglect. The neglect itself will ordinarily be followed by disobedience and self-will.

    Hence the reason that children of eminent men, both in church and state, are not infrequently the disgrace of their parents. If the mother is unaccustomed to govern her children, if she looks wholly to the father to enforce obedience from them, and control them; when he is absent, all family government is absent, and the children are left to run wild; to learn lessons of disobedience; to practice arts of deception; to build, upon the foundation of contempt for a mother, a character of insubordination and iniquity. But if the children are under the efficient government of a judicious mother, the reverse of this is almost invariably the case. And since, in nearly every instance, the early years of life are entrusted to a mother’s care, it follows that maternal influence, more than anything else, forms the future character.

    The history of John Newton is often adduced as a proof of the deep and lasting impression which a mother may produce upon the mind of her child. He had a pious mother. She often retired with him to her closet, and placing her hand upon his youthful head, implored God’s blessing upon her boy. These prayers and instructions sank deep into his heart. He could not but revere that mother. He could not but feel that there was a holiness in such a character, demanding reverence and love. He could not tear from his heart, in after-life, the impressions then produced. Though he became a wicked wanderer, though he forsook friends and home, and every virtue—yet the remembrance of a mother’s prayers, like a guardian-angel, followed him wherever he went.

    He mingled in the most dissipated and disgraceful scenes of a sailor’s life, and while surrounded with guilty associates, in midnight revelry, he would fancy he felt the soft hand of his mother upon his head, pleading with God to forgive and bless her boy. He went to the coast of Africa and became even more degraded than the savages upon her dreary shores. But the soft hand of his mother was still upon his head, and the fervent prayers of his mother still thrilled in his heart. And this influence, after the lapse of many guilty years, brought back the prodigal, a penitent and a child of God; elevated him to be one of the brightest ornaments of the Christian church, and enabled him to guide many sons and daughters to glory. What a forcible comment is this upon the power of maternal influence! And what encouragement does this present to every mother to be faithful in her efforts to train up her child for God! Had Mrs. Newton neglected her duty, had she even been as remiss as many Christian mothers are, her son, to all human view, might have continued in sin, and been an outcast from heaven. It was through the influence of the mother that the son was saved. Newton became afterward a most successful preacher of the gospel, and every soul that he was instrumental in saving, in singing the song of redeeming mercy, will, through eternity, bless God that Newton had such a mother.

    The influence thus exerted upon the mind, in early childhood, may, for many years, be apparently lost. When a son leaves home, and enters upon the busy world, many are the temptations which come crowding upon him. If when he thus withdraws from his mother’s personal watch and care, his heart has not been fortified with established principles of religion and of self-control, he will most assuredly fall before these temptations. He may indeed fall, even after all that a mother has done, or can do; and he may become deeply involved in guilt. But even then, when he has apparently forgotten every lesson that he learned at home, the secret influence of a mother’s instructions, and a mother’s prayers, may be yet working powerfully and effectually in his heart. He will think of a mother’s tears, when remorse keeps him awake at midnight, or when danger threatens him with speedy arraignment at the bar of God. The thoughts of the sacredness of home will often throw bitterness into his cup of guilty pleasure and compel him to sigh for the virtue and the peace which he has forsaken. Even though far away, in abodes of infamy, degraded and abandoned, he must occasionally think of a broken-hearted mother. Thus, may he, after many years, perhaps long after she has gone down to the grave, be led, by the remembrance of her virtues, to forsake his sins.

    A short time since, a gentleman, in one of our most populous cit- ies, was going to attend a seaman’s meeting in the mariner’s chapel. Directly opposite to the chapel there was a sailor’s boarding-house. In the doorway of this house there was a hardy, weather-beaten sailor, sitting with arms folded, and smoking a cigar—watching the people as they gradually assembled for the meeting.

    The gentleman walked up to him and said, Well, my friend, won’t you go with us to meeting?

    No! said the sailor, bluntly.

    The gentleman, who, from the appearance of the man, had been prepared for a repulse, mildly replied, You look, my friend, as though you had seen hard days; have you a mother? The sailor raised his head, looked earnestly in the gentleman’s face, and made no reply.

    The gentleman continued: Suppose your mother were here now, what advice do you think that she would give you? The tears rushed into the eyes of the poor sailor; he endeavored for a moment to conceal them but could not; and hastily brushing them away with the back of his rough hand, rose and said with a voice almost inarticulate through emotion, I’ll go to the meeting. He crossed the street, entered the door of the chapel, and took his seat with the assembled congregation. What afterward became of the man is not known. It is however almost certain that he must have had a mother who had given him good instruction; and when the gentleman appealed to her, hardened as the sailor was, his heart melted. It is by no means improbable that this interview may have checked this man in his sins and led him to Christ. At any event, it shows the strength of maternal influence. It shows that years of wandering and of sin cannot erase from the heart the impression which a mother’s instructions and a mother’s prayers have left there.

    It is a great trial to have children undutiful when young; but it is a tenfold greater affliction to have a child grow up to maturity in disobedience and become a dissolute and abandoned man. How many parents have passed days of sorrow and nights of sleeplessness in consequence of the misconduct of their offspring! How many have had their hearts broken, and their gray hairs brought down with sorrow to the grave, solely in consequence of their own neglect to train up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord! Your future happiness is in the hands of your children. They may be the means of filling all the future years of your life with joy, and on the other hand they may throw gloom over all your prospects, embitter every enjoyment, and make you so miserable, that your only prospect of relief will be in death.

    That little girl whom you tenderly hold upon your knee, and who plays, so full of enjoyment, upon your floor, has entered a world where temptations are thick around. What is to enable her to resist these temptations, but established principles of piety? And where is she to obtain these principles, but from a mother’s instructions and example? If, through your neglect now, she should hereafter yield herself to temptation and sin, what must become of your peace of mind? O mother! Little are you aware of the wretchedness with which your loved daughter may hereafter overwhelm you!

    Many illustrations of the most affecting nature might be here introduced. It would be easy to appeal to a vast number of living sufferers, in attestation of the woe which the sin of a child can occasion. You may go, not only in imagination, but in reality, to the darkened chamber where the mother sits weeping, and refusing to be comforted, for a daughter lost to virtue and to heaven. Still, though we may wit- ness the scene, no one but those who have experienced it can conceive how overwhelming is the mental agony which must prey upon a mother thus dishonored and broken-hearted. This is a sorrow which can only be understood by one who has tasted its bitterness and felt its weight. We may go to the house of piety and prayer and find the father and mother with countenances emaciated with suffering; not a smile plays upon their features, and the mournful accents of their voice tell how deeply seated is their sorrow. Shall we inquire into the cause of this heart-rending grief? The mother

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