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    Puff Adders in the Panicum
    Puff Adders in the Panicum
    Puff Adders in the Panicum
    Ebook134 pages2 hours

    Puff Adders in the Panicum

    By Andrew Hutchinson

    ()

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    About this ebook

    A collection of true auctioneering stories.
    Cattle, property and wildlife adventures, beat the drum in this African roller-coaster of adrenaline, danger and envy.
    From the first chant, to the last lot, the stage is set for a fast paced narrative, full of action, power-plays and latent deception.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAndrew Hutchinson
    Release dateJan 11, 2023
    ISBN9798215564936
    Puff Adders in the Panicum
    Author

    Andrew Hutchinson

    Andrew writes about modern day Africa and South Africa. International adventure and homegrown business experience within the informal sector. 

    Read more from Andrew Hutchinson

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      Book preview

      Puff Adders in the Panicum - Andrew Hutchinson

      PUFF ADDERS

      IN THE PANICUM

      An Auctioneer’s Perspective

      ANDREW HUTCHINSON

      PUFF ADDERS IN THE PANICUM 

      Published by Andrew Hutchinson

      East London

      Email: puffaddersinthepanicum@gmail.com

      First published 2022

      978-0-639-70857-7

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the author.

      Design and typesetting: Workshop 12 Graphic Design

      Set in 11 pt on 15 pt Cambria

      CONTENTS

      Foreword . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  i

      Glossary & terms. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  ii

      Translation. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  ii

      01.  Arietans (striking violently). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  1

      02.  The Colonel. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  6

      03.  Manley Flats . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  8

      04.  An Introduction to Plakkies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12

      05.  Plakkies continued. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14

      06.  Queenstown Catastrophe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18

      07.  Zuurberg Storm. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21

      08.  Fawlty Towers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24

      09.  Big Bird Dealings. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32

      10.  Pig Stories . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38

      11.  Queenstown Nguni Club Sale . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43

      12.  Standerton . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49

      13.  Mercy Mercy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52

      14.  Cowboys on the Collective. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57

      15.  House of Orange . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61

      16.  Fat-Boy-Slim. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66

      17.  Comrade. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72

      18.  Providence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76

      19.  Ticks ‘n Things . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82

      20.  Slomo Slojo . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87

      21.  The Dart. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91

      22.  Nyala Rabbits . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95

      23.  Error of Judgement . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99

      My perspective

      - Understanding the Bid . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108

      - The Auctioneer. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111

      - Risk . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116

      Foreword

      A puff adder is a slow moving adder with a robust girth, massive cerebral structure and overly long fangs. This serpent uses its muscular ability and impressive orthodontics to deliver multiple strikes with extreme speed. The puff adder is a master of disguise blending into its surroundings, lying in wait to ambush unsuspecting prey.... its toxins attacking tissue and making rotten that which was fit and functioning. Panicum is a particularly sweet pasture grass, excellent for fattening livestock. Panicum is an apt parallel in the description of the Eastern Cape. Offerings of sweet success and the promise of prosperity are real - however, beware the puff adders in the panicum... as once told to me by Twitch.

      Acknowledgements

      To all the memory makers, supporters and members of the animal kingdom!

      With thanks to.....

      Cally for all the cups of coffee Mikayla for the all the food My Kirst for all the love!

      And to you!

      Glossary & terms

      Foreword

      Panicum – a type of pasture grass.

      Arietans (striking violently)

      Cicado – a manufactured brand of air rifle

      Kwedins – young amaXhosa boys

      Bitis Arietans – scientific name for puff adder

      Manley Flats

      amaXhosa – African tribe encountered by the 1820 settlers in the

      Eastern Cape region of South Africa

      Nguni/Sanga – An African breed of cattle. Nguni cattle are a principal form of Sanga cattle – a collective name for indigenous cattle of sub-Saharan Africa

      Queenstown Catastrophe

      Tollies – young castrated bull calves

      Zol – rolled marijuana cigarette

      Ganga – marijuana

      Pig stories

      Digitaria – indigenous grass species

      Cowboys on the Collective

      Blesbok – an antelope with a blaze of white down the forehead

      Translation

      The Colonel

      Dink jy dis ‘n fokkin vlieg wat verby gaan?

      (Do you think it‘s a fucking fly going by)

      Manley Flats

      Kraal – livestock holding facility

      Plakkies – slipslops/ sandals

      Grensvegter – border fighter – a reference to South African army type, usually connected to the Angolan Border War. Krokodil – crocodile

      Introduction to Plakkies

      Fudu – water terrapin

      Plakkies continued

      Engelsman waars jou geld? – "Englishman where is your

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