The Top Storey

Prologue

The young woman lifted her head from the letter held in her hand, and refocusing, gazed out of the window.

Redlands. How appropriately named! The red dust in the township was at its worst; the wind blew the dust until the township itself appeared to be cloaked by a red veil. The young woman gazed out at the dirty papers and discarded plastic packets that littered the streets. They were caught up in eddies and sent swirling and dancing in the wind, only to become trapped against the boundary fencing of the school playground, where they remained pinned, fluttering noisily. Blindly, she looked at them; ‘township daisies’ some people, sarcastically called them. She looked at this trapped litter, and suddenly the similarity hit her.

Trapped! That was it. Trapped!

That was how she felt right now. Just like that litter fluttering against the fence. Trapped! Not by a fence, but in a web of insecurity—financial and emotional insecurity. How much longer was this state of affairs going to last?

Something falling at her feet brought her out of her reverie and she automatically bent to retrieve it. Looking at it now, as if for the first time, her situation was once again thrust into her face. Oh God!

Slowly she turned and as if in a dream, she sat on the old sofa to reread the letter:

Dearest Lana,

I’m not going to go through the normal pleasantries, because what I have to say is going to come as a shock to you. Due to illness, Ramon has been forced to terminate his contract with the engineering firm here in Swaziland. This means we’ll be returning to the house earlier than expected. I don’t want to think about what this must mean to you, and the havoc it’s going to cause to your life. I’m very, very sorry, but Ramon’s illness requires specialist treatment, so we need to get back home urgently. We’d like to take occupation of the house at the end of this month. I feel very guilty about putting you under pressure, but I do hope that the three weeks left will be sufficient time, in which to arrange alternate accommodation. So sorry to do this to you when you’ve been such a reliable and caring tenant.

Regards,

Ruby.

She could barely read the last two sentences through the tears that were flowing quite freely now. Not only was she penniless, but now homeless as well. God, how could life be so cruel? Where do I go from here? All I wanted was to make a home for myself and my child, but that seems never to be. Allowing herself just this once, to wallow in self-pity, she put her head in her hands and cried her heart out. Much later, all tears spent, her face red and puffy, she slowly roused herself and went through to the bathroom to splash some cold water onto her face, then to the kitchen, to make herself a mug of coffee.

She gazed into the black depths of the coffee for a moment and then wearily dragged herself to her bedroom, turning off all the lights on her way. The room was very small, as all rooms in the township matchbox houses were. The double bed, wardrobe and dresser took up all the space in the room. Walking sideways, between the dresser and the bed, she placed the mug on the dresser and prepared for bed.

A while later, sitting up in bed, her legs hugged to her chest, she slowly sipped from the mug in her hands.

Her mind was in turmoil, as it searched for possible solutions to her predicament. There was, after all, only one solution. Her parents! Yes, that was it! Her parents! But dare she? Dare she, after all this time? Yes, dammit, she dares! What were parents for, after all, if not to at least help their children? Yes, it had to be. There was no other way. It had to be. Courage! Courage, was all she needed. Courage, to take her pride in her hands and bury it; courage to approach her parents and ask them for help.

Would they help her? Oh yes, she knew her mother would, for sure, but what about her father? Would he help? Would he? It was so long since she had last seen her father. And to think, he hadn’t even set eyes on Carla. Would he help her? Dear Lord, it was no longer a question of ‘would he’, he must, he had to! Filled with optimism, she slid down between the covers and switched off the lamp. Giving up all thought of her problems, she allowed her mind to wander and, as always, when she allowed her thoughts free reign, they transported her three years back in time.

Chapter One

"Lana O’Reilly, successfully completed the Post Graduate Higher Diploma in Education, with specialisation in Mathematics and Geography. Congratulations, Miss O’Reilly," droned the voice of the registrar of Central University, as Lana moved to the centre of the stage, for the chancellor of the university to cap her and hand over her degree Lana accepted it, then made her way back to her seat amongst her fellow graduates.

When the ceremony was over, all the graduates gathered on stage for a group photograph, after which each went in search of family and friends.

The university catering staff, now serving the guests, had prepared a buffet supper in the gardens adjacent to the hall. As guests filled their plates and seated themselves at the elaborately laid garden tables, an air of excitement prevailed and conversation became stimulating.

Once Lana had seated her parents, she moved towards the noisy group of graduates who were hugging and kissing one another, and waving their degrees and diplomas around.

Lana, me luv, please bestow upon me the congratulatory kiss I deserve, enthused Keith. Keith’s reference to a ‘deserved’ kiss, had a deeper meaning that only the two of them understood.

Yeah, please do, otherwise he’ll leave this campus an unfulfilled man, implored Marcia.

Just one kiss Lana, so that the road ahead can appear brighter with the memory of your lips on mine, teased Keith, amidst the laughter of the other graduates.

Has he done the rounds or am I victim number one? asked Lana and everyone burst into laughter.

Keith rolled his eyes and pulled a face, Jokes aside Lana, you look smashing and your dress, it’s stunning.

She always is, from Marcia.

Lana, where did you say you’d received a teaching post? queried Rae.

At Redlands Primary. What about you?

A qualified teacher heading for the corporate world, that’s me. I didn’t even bother to make any applications, because this is not where I want to be. I became a teacher to please my mother. She has this belief that a girl must have a profession to fall back onto, should the man she marry turn out to be a sailor, replied Rae, whose father had deserted them when she was three. I’m just grateful for the holiday we have, before taking up our posts.

Yeah! I need to regain my strength. The exams have drained me, agreed Yvette.

By the way, how long is this holiday? someone asked.

Almost two months for us.

Where’s the party? enquired another voice.

For a while Lana joined in, in the light-hearted bantering of her mates. Then casually, glancing in the direction of her parents and seeing them deep in conversation with the language lecturer, she walked away.

When she reached the outer tables, she again glanced at her parents. They were still talking to the lecturer. Calling Keith aside, she hooked him in, whispered to him, and then quickly wove her way through the remaining crowd, and running lightly on her toes, made her way to the car park.

It was sunset. The early summer evening was being cooled by a light breeze. The tall blue gums, which made up the northern boundary of the campus, cast long shadows over the rows and rows of parked cars. She stopped; her figure silhouetted in the golden glow of the setting sun. A slender girl, her sheath-gown caressed her slender limbs, as the light breeze stirred. She moved forward, slowly turning her head from left to right. Suddenly, headlights flicked on, then off, on then off. This was the signal. She ran to the car. It was parked on the very edge of the car park. As she neared, the car the door opened, a tall man stepped out. He opened his arms and she threw herself into them. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, crushingly close. Then he was kissing her, kissing her, until she was forced to push at his chest, so that she could come up for some air.

At last, God I thought you’d never come, he murmured into her ear. Let’s get into the car, as he opened the door. Lana moved into the back seat of the car and shifted up as he climbed in after her.

Touching her wristwatch, I’ve only got ten minutes and then I’ll have to get back.

Silence!

She stiffened, waiting for him to say something.

A longer silence!

This was a familiar scene and Lana knew exactly how it would play out. It was two years now that she had been acting it out; two years of knowing and loving this man and at the same time, denying him. She couldn’t take the silence any longer.

Oh, Greg, I’m sorry, but my parents are inside and they’ll be wondering what’s happened to me.

He placed his hands on her upper arms and turned her to face him, Lana, how long is it now that we have been seeing each other?

I know Greg, but what…

How long Lana? Please answer me that?

Two years, spoken softly, but Greg…

Wait! he interrupted, two years; two years of meeting at other people’s houses, two years of picking you up around the corner, two years of sitting in this back-seat hugging and kissing like silly teenagers. I’m sick of it! All friends my age, are either married, engaged or living quite openly with their partners and here I am, playing ‘kissing in the dark’.

He stopped talking and taking her hands, he cupped them around his face and began so softly, it was almost a whisper, Lana, I love you, I love you so very much that it hurts to feel this deeply. I want you. I’m a man of twenty-eight. I can’t go on playing hide and seek with you forever. This game has to stop. You’re twenty-two, your parents have no say over the decisions you take now. You must tell them about us. If you don’t, then I’ll have to. I’ve threatened to do this before, but completing your studies was a priority. You’ve graduated now. There are no excuses left Lana. I’ve been very patient, but tonight saw the last of excuses. Do you tell them or do I?

Greg, please, just give me time, you don’t know my father.

Lana, Lana, Lana, please my angel, listen to me, cupping her pale face in his big hands he turned her face to his and lightly brushing her lips went on tenderly, "tonight was a big night, your graduation ceremony, all four years of studying successfully completed. You walked on to that stage to receive your diploma and I wasn’t allowed in, to see you.

Invitation only! Lana, I’m proud of you, of your achievement, why can’t I share it with you openly? I want to baby; I want to shout to the world that you’re my girl. I want to tell those puppies who drool over you to get lost. I want to have the privilege that Keith has of holding you in public. Why can’t I hmmm? this was said as he nuzzled her neck.

Greg, I know how you feel. I feel the same way. I promise that tonight, once we get home, I’m going to tell my parents. I must go in now. See you later, same time, same place.

He released her reluctantly and nodded. Leaning back against the soft leather seat, he clasped his hands tightly behind his head and watched as she climbed out, closed the door quietly and ran off lightly.

Then anger exploded in him and he punched the vacant seat beside him so fiercely, the knuckles of his hand ached. He rubbed them briefly and thought to compare this ache with the ache that clenched his gut with longing.

The knuckles came off better.

He stretched and, in the process, tapped his hair lightly. His hair! His hair! He cut all further thoughts dead there and then, climbed out of the back seat, into the driver’s seat and pulled away from that parking lot with tyres smoking.

But the thoughts surfaced.

Hair and colour were an issue among many coloured people. Remnants of apartheid’s legacy; the very term coloured used to name this population group, by the then white government.

In fact, a certain section of this population group referred to hair as the top-storey. They could be overheard quite often, asking of someone who’d found a new boyfriend or girlfriend: What’s his top storey like?

Yes, the top-storey was very important to certain of the Glendene Park lot.

What then, if what his friends were saying about Lana was true?

What if it was because his hair wasn’t straight and he was so brown that she was afraid to take him home?

Many of his friends teased him about his ‘laani chick.’¹

They teased, that she had him by the ‘short and curlys’ for him to put up with her hide and seek tactics.

And as these thoughts increased his doubts. So did his speed.

He’d better stop these thoughts.

Just now he’d believe what his friends were saying.

Lana ran straight to the lady’s room, where she quickly pulled a comb through her hair and applied fresh lipstick.

Merging with the crowd in the gardens, she managed to reach her parents, just as they stood preparing to leave.

She immediately noticed that Keith was not with them.

Mum, Dad, I was just coming to see if you were ready to leave now.

We are Lana, boomed her father, and have been for the past half hour, waiting for you. You know full well I have work to do. I can’t waste my time waiting for you, when you know how important my work is. Where were you girl? he demanded, attracting a lot of attention from the crowd in the garden.

A deep, red colour began to stain Lana’s face.

Now, now, Keelyn, calm down dear, from Mrs O’Reilly, aware that her daughter was deeply embarrassed, let’s go to the car dear, pushing her husband forward, come along Lana love, smiling goodbye to familiar faces, as they walked away.

They walked to the car in silence, Lana was feeling angrier with her father than she had ever been.

I’m not going home, there’s a party at Keith’s place. I’m sure he told you about it. I’ll be going there with him.

"You, girl, are telling me that you’re going! You are not asking or negotiating but telling me!" spat out her father.

"Yes! I’m telling you, Lana screamed, her anger mounting, I’m telling you. I’m telling you that I’m going to the party, and that is not all I’ll be telling you before this night is over," she flung at him, clenching her hands at her sides.

Her father opened his mouth to say something, but she rushed on, adrenaline flowing as her anger erupted.

Negotiate indeed, negotiate my going out, when I’m twenty-two years old. Negotiate with yourself, if negotiating is so important to you. Negotiate with your knowledge, so that it can teach you to love and live in the real world, instead of that sputnik you’re on.

She became aware of arms around her and a tearful voice begging her to stop.

When she was able to control her voice, she turned to her mother and hugged her back, I’m sorry mum.

Lana, it’s not like you to go on like this, what’s wrong?

I’ll tell you what’s wrong mother! He’s what’s wrong, she cried pointing at her father.

"He’s reached the end of his bullying days. That’s what it is, bullying, couched-in phrases like, ‘let’s discuss it’, ‘let’s negotiate your curfew’, ‘let’s examine the values inherent in such a decision’, ‘why don’t you reconsider’, ‘are you not prepared to try it my way first’.

When I look at it, mother, it’s nothing but sweet-talking oppression. For years I’ve put up with it, afraid of him, always wanting to please him. Well, that’s done for. I’m long past the age of twenty-one and am going to do what I want. Do you hear me father, do you? tears streaming down her face as she trembled from the after-effects of her anger.

Her father glared at her coldly for a long time, then turned to his wife, Come, Melody, my dear, this shrieking fish wife I don’t want to claim as my daughter. Let’s go home, and walking to the driver’s door climbed into the car and drove off.

Lana stood silently, watching the taillights disappear through the gates.

So much for wanting to lead her own life. Now what? There wasn’t even a party at Keith’s place. It had just been the excuse to get out and meet Greg later.

Greg!

Suddenly she came alive and ran through the remaining cars praying that he hadn’t left yet.

The cars had thinned out, so, even before she got to the place where his car had been parked, she could see that he had gone.

Oh hell! Transport!

Desperately she began searching amongst the remaining cars for someone she knew. I’ve got to get a lift.

Turning, she ran back to the hall.

A car was reversing from the parking area. She recognised it, as that of the music lecturer.

Without a second thought, she ran towards the car, waving her hands. The car stopped. Running up to the driver’s door she said laughingly, Going my way sir? I sent my parents on thinking that Keith would take me home, but he seems to have left already.

Okay Miss O’Reilly—get in, and he leaned over to open the passenger door.

Gee! Thanks sir, closing the door once in.

Fortunately for Lana, the music lecturer was not inclined towards small talk.

Besides a polite enquiry about her relationship with Keith, he remained silent throughout the journey.

Her relationship with Keith!

Oh yes, her relationship with Keith.

What a farce!

And all because of her father.

That thought again sparked off a surge of anger against her father and a warm feeling towards Keith who had been her front for the past two years.

Feeling secure that she wouldn’t be subjected to a cross-examination by the lecturer, Lana sat thinking about her argument with her father.

That’s right—her argument—because he hadn’t even answered her.

Poor mother—caught in the middle. She was the one who gets upset really, not that oaf who happens to be my father.

Thinking of how he had driven off, leaving her there, made her rebellious feeling ignite again.

Shrieking, fishwife indeed! I’ll show him that I mean what I say.

As from tonight, I’ll do what I want to do—starting right now!

The lights that heralded the outskirts of the upper middle-class coloured area of Glendene Park, came into view.

At the second street left, please sir, on the corner will be fine. Thank you.

It was quite dark; a fact that she hoped the music lecturer would overlook.

True to character, he stopped the car and allowed her to get out, without asking a single question.

Thanks very much sir, goodnight.

Left alone she, glanced at her watch.

Still five minutes before Greg showed up, but she couldn’t stand on the corner. She would attract attention.

She walked to the concrete fencing of the first house and stood there, slightly in shadow.

Approaching headlights made her turn; the car slowed and pulled into the kerb switching off the lights.

A BMW, black.

Thank God!

She walked quickly towards the car and the passenger door opened as she approached. She climbed in.

Without saying a word, Greg increased speed and they drove off in strained silence.

Lana sat ramrod straight.

The encounter with her farther making her more tense.

Gregory noted this, but remained silent and continued to stare ahead.

Hands firmly around the steering wheel, his mind began to wander.

On every occasion that he had wanted Lana to go back to his flat, she had refused.

He couldn’t believe that for two years of loving her so deeply, he had as yet not made love with her.

His friends thought him quite mad to hang on as he did, for nothing in return.

But then, to convince them that there was such a thing as pure love based entirely on respect, not only for the person, but the person’s body as well, was a futile exercise.

He’d had sex in his relationships with previous girlfriends, and some casual sex as well, but since Lana, he just didn’t see his way to that release anymore.

She had touched something inside of him that blinded him to other women.

Casual sex while Lana held off, just didn’t cross his mind.

Many women, encouraged by his friends, had openly stated their interest in him.

He just never encouraged them, nor did he take advantage of their blatant offers of sex.

Lana was what he wanted, and if it meant waiting for her, then he would wait.

On many occasions, when the seeds of doubt planted by his friends about Lana surfaced, he questioned himself about the sanity of clinging to her when it was obvious that her parents would never accept him, but the alternative was not what he wanted. Lana was what he wanted and Lana he was going to get!

Lana was an only child; the daughter