Wounded: The Color of Pain

THE COLORS OF PAIN

Wounded

Has Wounds Become Us?

Kamisha A. Oliver

Copyright © 2022 by Kamisha A. Oliver

All rights reserved.

To Sadie, my granddaughter,

in hopes that she will continue to think deeply,

love accountably and challenge that which needs challenging.

And to Milan, my granddaughter,

in hopes that she will acknowledge the value of having an older sibling whose footprints will create a path that will become a map of what to do and what not to do.

And to Nyla, my granddaughter, in hopes that she will be that much more secure in her path due to the health of the generational standard being set.

As the lineage grows, I know that my life has been dedicated to making a healthier and loving tomorrow for you all.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Chapter 1: 911 May I Help You

Chapter 2: What is The Emergency?

Chapter 3: Making The Report: Anonymous Pink

Chapter 4: Making The Report: Anonymous Red

Chapter 5: Making The Report: Anonymous Green

Chapter 6: Making The Report: Anonymous Blue

Chapter 7: Making The Report: Anonymous Purple

Chapter 8: Making The Report: Anonymous Brown

Chapter 9: Making The Report: Anonymous Black

Chapter 10: Help Is On The Way

Chapter 11: The Trail of Evidence

Chapter 12: A False Report

The Art of Wounds

Chapter 1

911 May I Help You

W

ounds are woven into the fabric of a painful existence. And a people's existence is displayed by way of culture. What becomes repetitive for a group of people becomes a part of the culture, and it’s unfortunate that trauma in black civilization is an outfit worn constantly due to the belief of a lack of a different fit.

Prior to social media, many of us believed that our experiences were unique to only ourselves and our families. "Uncle So and So—the molester—was only in our home. That drug-addicted brother stealing all of our shit only existed with us. The alcoholic dad who pulled his gun out in angry rants when under the influence only resided where we stood. And the mom who saw fit to use that extension cord when kids used their voices or didn’t agree couldn’t possibly be a constant in other homes. Then came social media bringing forth this new-found transparency, and boom! There it is!

All the colorful ways in which toxicity could display itself. The familiarity washed over us like ocean waves clearing the way for true sight. How uncomfortable it was/is to watch the offspring of these colorful characters take the front stage and display all that has been written for them by way of example.

Oh wow, you too? …

Believe it or not, many grew anxious about the doors to their secrets being cracked; others felt the stuffiness leave the room and began to breathe better. Understanding you’re not alone can often be a relief to those standing out on a ledge. Not that one wants others to fall with, but one may need others to help them climb back in.

There’s a thin line between the jump and a second thought. Most leaped on to the web, being tangled within the feelings of it all; while others rathered a remedy to untangle what was weaved by the many who were wrapped up prior.

We watched as people began to align in trauma, even making light of the many insane rituals that their homes had in common with the homes of others. The family members that did the same things—the ass whoopings that they now believed they earned, and the logic that they shared about being tied to their abusers—because, after all, they are family. Some are even becoming allies against anyone who dared to comment against the act of remaining a victim to the experience; versus using the experience to rise. A new term was born—victim shaming—which could hold weight if not as a response to healthy advice for the purpose of getting better. There was a new tagline to shield those in pain from healing, and I ask: why would anyone want to be shielded from that? The line was in the sand, and it became more and more interesting to see who stood where; and what else they had in common: culture!

What is culture?

What does culture have to do with this?

Culture can be defined as a way of life, a brand of sorts: activities, traditions/rituals, and ideas that tie into the identity of a people from generation to generation. And impacts an entire society. When culture is spoken of, people often focus on the arts, food, music, style etc. however, there’s an entire area of focus neglected. Art, food, and music are the beauty of culture, but not all culture is feel-good music and soul food.

Just as with everything else, there are layers upon layers that, if peeled back, may reveal a not-so-pretty side. What lies beneath is often the parts we’d rather act as if: do not exist. I compare it to wallpaper: looks great, compliments the house, and draws attention, but beneath it lies black mold that, although isn’t visible to the naked eye, tends to get everyone in the house deathly ill. Let’s keep in mind mold often grows in the dark. Do we allow everyone to die off, or do we crack the blinds, get that wallpaper down, kill the mold and get the family back to health?

This may seem like a simple question to the healthy mind; however, I’ve come to understand that comfort & routine often takes precedence over what’s healthy in our society but much more within black culture.

We are in a state of emergency!

As Martin Luther King once said: Our lives begin to end the day we are silent about things that matter.

-Martin Luther King Jr.

It’s time we speak up! The mentality of a people dictates the actions of a people, and those of us who are well; understand the need for what we call: some get right! Our Cultural norms no longer come by way of nature, and the way we have begun to nurture has defied health. We've been stripped of the village mentality, and along with that came a loss of many other things.

There’s a constant conversation between us: Black culture and many others that states: black people must unite! Although this is a true statement, there are many steps in-between separation and unity, and one of those steps must be trust! Before the village comes the family. The family creates the values and principles that we walk in to allow our connections to our village. But if the starter kit is faulty, the entire structure is weak. This is what birthed Wounded (A system that started as a screenplay & books series addressing the skeletons in the black closet but today has morphed into a mental and emotional health-based system created to break generational trauma).

There’s a study called cultural psychology that explores how cultural practices influence and reflect the human psyche. This means there’s a correlation between the culture of a people and