House Rules: A Memoir

When is a memoir a horror story? Probably fairly frequently, but this one features a set of uniquely criminal parents. Father Steven insists on controlling every aspect of the life of daughter Rachel, while neglecting younger daughter Jenny. He restricts Rachel's every movement and action, her facial expressions, her haircuts, down to the most trivial interactions. Worse still, Rachel's mother promises divorce but never goes through with it. The atmosphere in the home is so poisonous that Rachel escapes temporarily by getting Child Protective Services to place her in a home for unwed mothers just to escape the agony. The fact that there's never any physical violence from the father is almost the most unsettling aspect of the story - he is able to fly into rages that are verbal only. But that doesn't make them any easier to accept. Rachel's path to freedom entails homelessness, which actually brings her a measure of relief. And she's able to reconcile with her sister. But when you see the smiling author on the book jacket, you wonder how she didn't actually murder both parents in their beds, or set the house afire - his attempts for control, and the mother's unwillingness to defy him, are that horrifying. Recommended as a painful oddity but not for the weak at heart.

This was a good memoir to read and had me on the edge of my seat the whole time.

Good read, amazing what can really be happening inside four walls.

Compelling story of psychological abuse but fails to capture the heart of the main character.

While I enjoyed reading this memoir, it was difficult to read about the mental/verbal abuse that Rachel's father bestowed upon her. I would visibly cringe at times at some of the things that her father said to her, all the while Rachel was constantly seeking love and acceptance from him.

Besides experiencing a strong dislike for the father, I felt ambivalence towards Rachel's mother and sister. I felt that Rachel's mother should have supported her more....although I think I understood why she couldn't (or wouldn't). Her life with her controlling husband was already a living hell and she did not want to make things worse. Rachel's sister was more or less the "invisible" child, where Rachel was on the receiving end of her father's constant attention, whether it be good or bad.

House Rules is a truly compelling memoir that was arduous to read but almost impossible for me to put down. Highly recommended!

This story has me wondering is this for real, but I believed every last word of it, since it rings true to me personally and professionally. Well told by the author, and this memoir seemed honest and heartfelt.

It's poorly written and extremely self-serving, but, considering her parents' reaction to it, seems plausible that Rachel's parents are indeed who she says they are. People sincerely stunned by accusations from a pathological daughter act more, well ... stunned than irate and girded for battle from the get-go. These people sound like their opinion of Rachel was formed a long time ago and set in stone, which bears out her account. She may not be a person one might want to be around, but it seems her parents have had a lot to do with that. I hope this book will make her enough money to cover some intensive psychotherapy for many years to come. Good luck with all that, Rachel.

Read this book TODAY! Less than 300 pages but an intense and awesome first work by Rachel Sontag. This was written in such an honest voice and really touched on how we view the world and ourselves based on the "world" we grow up in, in our individual families; how what we think is normal becomes questionable as we grow up and see that other families are not like us. As I said the book was intense and the examples the author shares are specific and it is easy to visualize what she is describing, but the scary truth is there is so much detail that had to be left out in the interest of space and/or time. What a woman!! I can't stop thinking about her and hoping she is simply, happy now or at least content with her life. She is so brave. Bravo Ms. Sontag. Sincerely, Jen

I read many female literary memoirs and this one is one of my favorites. It also mirrors my own childhood more closely than any memoir I've ever read. While this may have made it more meaningful to me, at the same time it's beautifully written and conceived.