Side Quests
©2023 by Walter Reimer

Thumbnail art by  dragonmelde, color by  marmelmm



“So, a Regional Directorship?” Fuji asked. “Wow.”

Meredith nodded as she rocked Jinzi back and forth. “’Wow’ is right. Never expected it, really. But it means we get a bigger office, more staff – “

“Good. I won’t feel so overworked.” Wife glared at husband before they both chuckled.

“Yeah, well,” the mare said, “it means more responsibilities. Because we’re now a regional office, we’ll have our own ships based here.”

The monitor blinked in surprise. “A Quiet Life will be based from here?”

Meredith nodded. “Along with four other ships,” she said, “so we’ll be seeing our friends more often.”

“That reminds me,” Fuji said, getting up from his seat and scooping up his padd. He accessed it, waited for it to stiffen out to a half-meter-square flat plane, and angled it toward his wife. “Message for you, copied to me, from Varan.”

“Oh, good!” the mare exclaimed. She looked up at him. “Have you read it yet?”

Fuji shook his head. “I wanted us both to see it.” At his wife’s broad grin, he smiled and accessed the message, holding it as he crouched down so they could both see it.

Varan looked well as she said, “Greetings, both of you. My ship is currently at Wangguan before we return to Imperial space, and I may have the opportunity to come and visit you. Of course, I also want to see your daughter.” She smiled.

“I have attached the latest game module,” she added, “and you will find that it’s been a rather, ernnh, expensive adventure.” The module downloaded while the vir talked about things that had been happening in her life, including the growth of her relationship with Vesan.

After the message ended, the couple had dinner before settling down to review the game module.

Fuji looked surprised at the sight of Vesan’s rogue character before he started to chuckle. “Got into something she – or he, now – shouldn’t have, it seems.”

“Yeah,” Meredith said. “Makes me glad that Varan and I didn’t try any of the other pipes at the Hookah Bar. Still, she wants to change back, so let’s see what happened,” and the two settled down to watch as the three adventurers set out to acquire the magical reagents needed to re-feminize Vesan’s character.

The Huntresses made Meredith blink. “What are those designers thinking? Those are the weirdest things I’ve seen in the game.”

“Really?”

“Well, apart from the tame hentai beast at the Nude Beach,” the golden palomino mare said. “Frog spiders, though, that’s new.”

“I’m reminded of an old story my father told me,” Fuji said as the fox ranger mounted Vesan.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. The moral was ‘People who help you may have their own motives,’ or something like that.”

They sat and watched as the rest of the module played, and the mare took note that her paladin had stayed outside of the shop during the ritual. Yerffej had some very strong and corrupt wards on his shop, if they made her armor react the way it had.

Still, the ritual was apparently successful, albeit quite expensive.

“Hm, down to about 150 gold between the three of us,” Meredith said, opening a tab and examining each character’s inventory. “I see what Varan meant now. Well, that means side quests.” She glanced at Fuji. “Do we have some spare time?”

“Sure.”


***


The main square of every town in the game had a bulletin board or similar location where the inhabitants posted job opportunities and other adventurers recruited furs.

The paladin glanced over a few yellowed and slightly frayed notices. “Hm, these are rather old. Here’s one, looking for help in recovering some magic ring or other. ‘Death benefits included in employment contract.’ That sounds ominous.”

“Yes,” Vesan agreed, “and it might take too long before we return to our own objective. A farmer is seeking assistance in moving some small animals from one of his fields.” Her ears twitched. “He’s offering 250 gold.”

Varan clucked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, a Kashlanin gesture of disbelief. “There has to be more to it than that.”

“I’m sure there is,” the rogue assured the mage. “’Rainbow Valley welcomes Shriners.’ What is a Shriner? Sounds like a religious thing.”

Meredith shrugged. “Don’t know. Let’s try the farmer first. Shouldn’t – “ Whatever she had been about to say was muffled as Varan clapped a hand over the mare’s muzzle. The paladin’s ears went down and she muttered, “Sorry,” after the vir had removed her hand.

“Good,” Varan said. “Where is this farm?”

“South, downriver,” Vesan said after taking the notice down. “A place called Rusty Henge.”

Rusty Henge turned out to be a small settlement south of the town, and they were greeted by the farmer in question. The grizzled bear spat to one side and hooked his thumbs into the straps of his bib overalls as he said, “You three here for the job?”

“Yes,” Meredith said.

“Fair enough. Come with me,” and the trio followed the farmer up a hill where he stopped and pointed. “I raise clover, you see, and you see what’s in the field,” he said, indicating the twenty-odd small white balls of fur that lolloped around and occasionally ate some of the plants. “I need you to move these Caerbannog rabbits from this field over to that one,” and he pointed at an adjacent meadow, separated from the first one by a fence that came up to Meredith’s breasts.

“And you’re paying 250 gold for this?” Vesan asked, clearly skeptical.

“Sure am, Missy.”

“What about them?” Varan asked, her tail pointing to where a grandstand overlooking both fields was filling up with townspeople.

The bear shrugged. “Round these parts, Ma’am, people are hard up for amusement. I’m offering 250 for this job.”

“We’ll take it,” Meredith said.


***


Meredith paused and saved the game, as a precaution, while Fuji went to get them both something to drink before the game resumed.


***


“AHHH!” Varan screamed, one rabbit clinging to her face with a death grip, the mage running around in panicky circles as another four pursued her.

Things had started fairly well, but when one of them had reached out to pick up a rabbit, the small animals had suddenly grown almost poisonously cuter and revealed rather surprisingly large teeth.

Vesan had tried to grab two of the bunnies, only to be chased up a tree. A half-dozen had taken up positions around the trunk, waiting for her to come down.

Meredith trudged toward the fence with five rabbits clinging to her armor, gnawing away at the steel with a complete disregard for the consecrated wards. While the damage they were inflicting was fractional, it was cumulative. She succeeded in dumping the quintet over the fence, only to have a trio of the bunnies jump at her.

With two more at the backs of her hooves, the paladin lost her balance and fell over.

The crowd cheered.


***


Meredith shook her head as her character died messily. “Ouch,” she said, and returned to the last saved point.


***


On the second attempt, Vesan had been attacked by one rabbit, and the rogue had drawn her knife and stabbed it.

Robbed of their fun, the crowd suddenly produced a variety of sharp and pointed farm implements and charged, killing all three adventurers.


***


“It’s not funny,” Meredith growled as Fuji kept laughing.


***


“I think we are going at this the wrong way,” Varan said as they readied for a third attempt.

“What do you suggest?” Vesan asked.

The mage’s tailspur scratched at the fur under her chin. “Perhaps if we tried to talk to them.”

Meredith’s ears swiveled. “Talk to them? Oh, wait, I think I see what you’re talking about, Varan. They’ve shown some signs of intelligence in the way they attack.”

“So we try to persuade them to go to the next field?” Vesan asked. “How?”

Meredith thought, and snapped her fingers. “They’ve eaten nearly all the clover in this field, but they’re mainly eating grass. There’s more grass where we need to move them. We just need to convince them that what’s in the next field is more attractive.”

“How?” the rogue asked.

The paladin sighed and started to shed her armor. “Lead by example, I guess. You two go into the field and start talking to them,” and the mare, reduced to her underwear, went over the fence into the target field, where she dropped to all fours and began tearing up grass with her teeth.

Vesan and Varan looked at her, then at each other. They shrugged and went into the first field as the watching crowd cheered.


***


“It’s still not funny,” Meredith said.

“No, it’s not funny,” Fuji said, “it’s hilarious.”

“But it worked,” the mare said, pointing to the increase in the amount of gold the trio had. The tactic had succeeded largely because Varan had appealed to the rabbits’ self-interest. The mage had pointed out that if they dithered in this field, with its dwindling resources, the mare in the next meadow would eat all the grass herself.

The rabbits had needed help in getting over the fence, and apart from Vesan getting bitten a few times, the two viri were unscathed.

Meredith had been chased out of the field by all of the bunnies, with assorted bites, scratches and tattered undergarments to show for her efforts.

“It’s only 250,” the mare said, “but it’s a start.”

“Okay,” Fuji said. “What’s next?”


***


“Alligator wrestling?” Varan asked.

Vesan gestured negatively. “It pays too little, and I do not want to meet those Sirens again.”

Meredith nodded before pointing at a fresh notice. “Bingo callers required at the Rainbow Valley Retirement Home.”

“What’s ‘Bingo?’” Vesan asked.

“Some sort of game, I guess,” the paladin said. “It pays 350.”

“350?” Varan asked, her pupils narrowing. “Herding the rabbits was only 250.”

“I guess we’ll have to see,” Meredith said.