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“How many people know anything of either their lover’s true history or their desires? Truly know, I mean, not merely suspect.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“I had thought that by giving myself so fully to a single fantasy, by indulging in it without restraint or hesitation, I would be cured of all fantasies, able to put them from my mind and go back to living a normal life, or to the image at least of how I imagined a normal life should be. The effect, however, was quite the opposite. Having freed myself from the fear of committing an act I had previously seen as taboo, I had not banished fantasy in general from my mind, but rather had fuelled it. Other, darker fantasies began to haunt me, more daring fantasies, more exciting and lascivious.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“They made love for the reason all people should make love; for pleasure, for joy, for ecstasy, for themselves, and one another.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“Often, in my experience, the impression of beauty is created by a single aspect of a woman and from that aspect beauty appears to spread outward through every part of them, rendering them beautiful in their entirety. Sometimes such beauty comes from a smile. Sometimes from a lovely pair of eyes. Sometimes from an attitude, or form of movement, or a sentiment of goodness or happiness which reveals itself in a single expression. Sometimes it is the curve of a body from which beauty spreads, sometimes a tone of skin, or a river of glossy hair that catches the light and seems to shine like silk. Yet were that aspect to be removed and not replaced by something else, so too would the beauty it had brought to light disappear. Less often, beauty comes from several sources in the same person, all working together to increase the impression of overall beauty. If one of these aspects were to disappear, unlike a man, the woman would remain beautiful, though changed.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“I was not innocent, and I had tired of the pretence of being so, though it had amused me for a time.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“Knowing oneself is the hardest thing of all – knowing, that is, and accepting.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“Most people hide their sentiments, their desires, their thoughts, behind veiled phrases, behind indirectness. When someone feels no need to do so, there is always something refreshing about it and a little frightening.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“I have never ceased to be fascinated by feminine beauty. In a man, beauty, if it exists, is usually simple; a complete harmony of physical qualities and behaviour all acting together as a whole. The slightest flaw causes it to disappear. In women, beauty is more complex. Often, in my experience, the impression of beauty is created by a single aspect of a woman and from that aspect beauty appears to spread outward through every part of them, rendering them beautiful in their entirety. Sometimes such beauty comes from a smile. Sometimes from a lovely pair of eyes. Sometimes from an attitude, or a form of movement, or a sentiment of goodness or happiness which reveals itself in a single expression. Sometimes it is the curve of a body from which beauty spreads, sometimes a tone of skin, or a river of glossy hair that catches the light and seems to shine like silk. Yet were that aspect removed and not replaced by something else, so too would the beauty it had brought to light disappear. Less often, beauty comes from several sources in the same person, all working together to increase the impression of overall beauty. If one of these aspects were to disappear, unlike a man, the woman would remain beautiful, though changed.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“To remain with a lover permanently, or at least for any significant period of time, had always seemed to me so limiting, so much like putting up a door, albeit a beautiful, elaborately carven door, between myself and the dark, mysterious entrance to the unknown, the unseen, the unexperienced; a door that closed those things off to me. It gave happiness, in my experience, to remain with a lover over some weeks or months, to explore them, to become comfortable with them, to express myself to the fullest extent that I thought they would accept. Over too long a period, however, I always found myself beginning to yearn for those things I was not receiving; those other forms of happiness that loyalty to one person caused to become inaccessible – to be glimpsed from afar yet always untasted, untouched, unfelt.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“For those watching, what had they truly seen?”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“Yes, I thought, this is what I wanted, this is what I had truly imagined; to be desirable, to be beautiful and seductive, and at the same time to be completely powerful, in control, able to give glimpses of myself to strangers that would haunt them for a long time afterwards, when I wanted, when I chose, and to conceal myself or cut those glimpses short equally as I chose.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“To be made love to by someone who did not think me beautiful was not part of any fantasy I had ever had.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“So few people are genuinely sincere. Most people hide their sentiments, their desires, their thoughts, behind veiled phrases, behind indirectness. When someone feels no need to do so, there is always something refreshing about it and a little frightening.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“The common thread of my life has been my mistaken perception of people and myself.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“I thought of fleeting satisfaction, of happiness, of romance, of perfect silver screen moments shared with a companion, and of perfect blue movie moments too. Yet I had never stopped to wonder whether that one companion might satisfy me completely, having assumed always that there would be another to follow who would touch a different chord in me, who would bring me a different pleasure, and that with all of them taken together I would create for myself a mosaic of experiences that gave me everything that I wanted to experience in the course of my life; everything that I wanted to feel, to enjoy.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“The only thing more powerful than innocence, more attractive, is a façade of innocence beneath which the currents of desire run deep.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“This was what life was supposed to be, I thought, full of strange, previously unknown thrills, and unfamiliar pleasures. It was supposed to be always new; new and a little dangerous.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“Some people say,” I said, turning back to him, “that the mad ones make better lovers. Is it true?”
He shrugged again.
“That depends on the form of madness, I suppose. And on how you define better.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
He shrugged again.
“That depends on the form of madness, I suppose. And on how you define better.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
“It had never occurred to me, I realised then, to demand from any one lover explicitly all of those things for which my mind and body yearned. They might not have been willing, or happy, to give them to me, after all.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“I was thinking, as my mind began to work once more, what adventures still lay before me; what pleasures awaited all those who had the courage to open themselves up to them.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“They are fantasies, nothing more. Everyone has fantasies, yet only the very few dare to live them out.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“I cannot live on lust alone.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“The face that looked back at me was flushed and happy. And, beyond its happiness, there was something else too – a power, a new found air of confidence; a force of life. It was the face of someone who recognised their desires, I thought, and was not afraid to give in to them, and I was proud that that face was mine.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“I felt desire too; desire to be as they had been; wild and exotic and commanding and willing to worship and be worshipped.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“I liked the feeling of spying into the lives of others while they remained ignorant of my presence. I liked to hear, muffled yet nonetheless partially distinct through the door, the things they said when they thought that no-one other than their companion could hear.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“The question really should be, is there anything we can do to surmount our instincts and fears?”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“I marvelled at the power and confidence each seemed to display; at the way they took from each other exactly what they desired, and gave with equal ardour. Their bodies seemed always to move in harmony, one with the other. There was never any awkwardness to their movements; never any uncertainty. They appeared to understand, without the need of speech, exactly what the other wanted and would do next, and so their movements flowed like a beautifully erotic piece of choreography.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“Fantasies when they are lived out, are sometimes dangerous things.”
I thought for a moment and shrugged.
“It can be just as dangerous not to live them out,” I said. “They torment you, haunt you, obsess you.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
I thought for a moment and shrugged.
“It can be just as dangerous not to live them out,” I said. “They torment you, haunt you, obsess you.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
“I think of her as much as anyone thinks of their former lovers, I suppose,” I heard him say, distantly. “Men especially never forget the erotic encounters they have enjoyed.”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks
“I did not judge him any more than I did myself. He wanted pleasure, it seemed to me, as did everyone else, and if he went about finding pleasure in an unconventional way, what did that matter?”
― The Erotic Notebooks
― The Erotic Notebooks