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Six Foot and Some Change: A Chronicle
Thanks for taking an interest in my work. For the curious, here's a little about myself. I'm a published poet; my first accolade came in the second grade when the Tattered Cover in Denver honored a haiku I had written. I currently live in Florida with my cat, Cap'n. Judging from all the teeth marks on all my pens, I'd say that Cap'n is also an aspiring writer. I can't take Cap'n to the bookstore without him pawning through Dog Fancy magazine and meowing. His favorite singer is Cat Stevens, his favorite comedian is Kat Williams, and his favorite food is Chicken Lo Mein.
56 pages, Paperback
First published March 1, 2012
About the author
Jarod Kintz
110 books1,683 followersThis is it, this is my biography. The story of Jarod Kintz begins now.
Let’s knock out the trivial first. I was born in Salt Lake City on March 5th. Now that you know my birthday, please feel free to get me birthday presents. Notice how I used the plural, presents? More than one gift would be greatly appreciated. Appropriate gifts include gold coins, bars of silver, and large tracts of land (preferably beachfront property). Or you could just buy me a drink—soda, natural, because I don’t drink either alcohol or high fructose corn syrup.
Skipping ahead a few years, and a few hundred miles, we come to Denver, Colorado. For a few years I attended Mackintosh Academy. In the second grade, along with English, I studied French, Spanish, and Japanese. Out of all those language classes, I remember one word: Andrea. That was my girlfriend at the time, the one who left me for my best friend. I guess I remember two words, as I remember his name too, but his name is almost sacred, as a name that shall never be uttered.
Right after second grade ended my family moved to Jacksonville, Florida. It was Jacksonville that I would come to know as home, and would attend the rest of my schooling until college.
At this point I was a mediocre student. I believe I had a perfect 2.0 grade point average from third grade until I graduated from high school. My favorite classes were art, P.E., and lunch. Oh, is one of those not a class? No way—I believe art is still considered a class.
When not cracking jokes in class, I would be doing one of three things: drawing, passing notes, or sleeping. In high school I started to not only be mentally absent from class, but physically gone too. I’d skip class like a flat rock skips across a pond.
After high school, it was on to college. In all I have attended six colleges. I bounced around like a dodgeball on a trampoline. If you count the college classes I took starting my junior year of high school, then I got my four-year degree in nine years. And if you’re going to do something, you might as well do it at least twice as well as everybody else—or at least at least twice as long.
I graduated with an English degree from the University of Florida, but I took creative writing classes from both UF and Florida State University. All though college I fancied myself a fancy man, because I was an aspiring writer. Mostly I wrote t-shirt slogans and other pithy things. In the spring of 2005 I did manage to sell a line of t-shirts to Urban Outfitters.
That is my lone success in life. Seriously. Well, so far anyway. But my story is just beginning. I plan on failing my way to success. I have been rejected by literary agents, publishers, MFA programs, all sorts of women. But still I keep writing.
I have written many “books,” and I use the term books loosely. Mostly they are just compilations of my random thoughts and one-liners. But I like writing them, and people seem to like reading them. and that’s what it’s all about, right?
All my books are self-published, either through iUniverse or the wonderful Amazon Kindle program. I encourage everybody to write. Share yourself with the world. If there is one thing I like to impress upon people, it’s that you can do it, even if you can’t. Just keep can’ting until eventually you can. And you can quote me on that.
Let’s knock out the trivial first. I was born in Salt Lake City on March 5th. Now that you know my birthday, please feel free to get me birthday presents. Notice how I used the plural, presents? More than one gift would be greatly appreciated. Appropriate gifts include gold coins, bars of silver, and large tracts of land (preferably beachfront property). Or you could just buy me a drink—soda, natural, because I don’t drink either alcohol or high fructose corn syrup.
Skipping ahead a few years, and a few hundred miles, we come to Denver, Colorado. For a few years I attended Mackintosh Academy. In the second grade, along with English, I studied French, Spanish, and Japanese. Out of all those language classes, I remember one word: Andrea. That was my girlfriend at the time, the one who left me for my best friend. I guess I remember two words, as I remember his name too, but his name is almost sacred, as a name that shall never be uttered.
Right after second grade ended my family moved to Jacksonville, Florida. It was Jacksonville that I would come to know as home, and would attend the rest of my schooling until college.
At this point I was a mediocre student. I believe I had a perfect 2.0 grade point average from third grade until I graduated from high school. My favorite classes were art, P.E., and lunch. Oh, is one of those not a class? No way—I believe art is still considered a class.
When not cracking jokes in class, I would be doing one of three things: drawing, passing notes, or sleeping. In high school I started to not only be mentally absent from class, but physically gone too. I’d skip class like a flat rock skips across a pond.
After high school, it was on to college. In all I have attended six colleges. I bounced around like a dodgeball on a trampoline. If you count the college classes I took starting my junior year of high school, then I got my four-year degree in nine years. And if you’re going to do something, you might as well do it at least twice as well as everybody else—or at least at least twice as long.
I graduated with an English degree from the University of Florida, but I took creative writing classes from both UF and Florida State University. All though college I fancied myself a fancy man, because I was an aspiring writer. Mostly I wrote t-shirt slogans and other pithy things. In the spring of 2005 I did manage to sell a line of t-shirts to Urban Outfitters.
That is my lone success in life. Seriously. Well, so far anyway. But my story is just beginning. I plan on failing my way to success. I have been rejected by literary agents, publishers, MFA programs, all sorts of women. But still I keep writing.
I have written many “books,” and I use the term books loosely. Mostly they are just compilations of my random thoughts and one-liners. But I like writing them, and people seem to like reading them. and that’s what it’s all about, right?
All my books are self-published, either through iUniverse or the wonderful Amazon Kindle program. I encourage everybody to write. Share yourself with the world. If there is one thing I like to impress upon people, it’s that you can do it, even if you can’t. Just keep can’ting until eventually you can. And you can quote me on that.
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
May 3, 2012
Book Info: Genre: Humor/Comedy Memoirs Reading Level: Adult
Disclosure: I received a free, signed copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.
Synopsis: Thanks for taking an interest in my work. For the curious, here's a little about myself. I'm a published poet; my first accolade came in the second grade when the Tattered Cover in Denver honored a haiku I had written.
I currently live in Florida with my cat, Cap'n. Judging from all the teeth marks on all my pens, I'd say that Cap'n is also an aspiring writer.
I can't take Cap'n to the bookstore without him pawning through Dog Fancy magazine and meowing. His favorite singer is Cat Stevens, his favorite comedian is Kat Williams, and his favorite food is Chicken Lo Mein.
My Thoughts: That Cap’n sounds like an interesting fella, doesn’t he? Anyway, I have to say that reading this little book is like reading a stand-up routine – Jarod could have used this book as a script to be on “MTV’s ½ Hour Comedy Hour”. Oh, wait, am I seriously dating myself? I know, that show is SOOOO early 1990s, but I really loved it. Saw a lot of good comedy watching that, and even ran across a couple of the comedians I saw there live later on going to comedy clubs.
But I digress. Basically, if you’re wanting a good laugh at wry, self-deprecation or just basic surreal situations, you should definitely pick this up. It’s not very long, but it is fairly well-edited (except for that one chapter, but that’s an exception, not a rule) and put together, and it’s something you can pick up and read a little bit at at time, and re-read later, to enjoy it all again.
Disclosure: I received a free, signed copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.
Synopsis: Thanks for taking an interest in my work. For the curious, here's a little about myself. I'm a published poet; my first accolade came in the second grade when the Tattered Cover in Denver honored a haiku I had written.
I currently live in Florida with my cat, Cap'n. Judging from all the teeth marks on all my pens, I'd say that Cap'n is also an aspiring writer.
I can't take Cap'n to the bookstore without him pawning through Dog Fancy magazine and meowing. His favorite singer is Cat Stevens, his favorite comedian is Kat Williams, and his favorite food is Chicken Lo Mein.
My Thoughts: That Cap’n sounds like an interesting fella, doesn’t he? Anyway, I have to say that reading this little book is like reading a stand-up routine – Jarod could have used this book as a script to be on “MTV’s ½ Hour Comedy Hour”. Oh, wait, am I seriously dating myself? I know, that show is SOOOO early 1990s, but I really loved it. Saw a lot of good comedy watching that, and even ran across a couple of the comedians I saw there live later on going to comedy clubs.
But I digress. Basically, if you’re wanting a good laugh at wry, self-deprecation or just basic surreal situations, you should definitely pick this up. It’s not very long, but it is fairly well-edited (except for that one chapter, but that’s an exception, not a rule) and put together, and it’s something you can pick up and read a little bit at at time, and re-read later, to enjoy it all again.
June 30, 2012
If you’re expecting a story or any semblance of a plot, you’ll be disappointed. “Six Foot and Some Change” (which refers to the author’s height which he says is “around 6'3 - give or take two dimes and a nickel.”) is absurd humor and it is hilarious. It reads more like a standup routine than a novel, which makes it ideal for picking up again and again.
The overall voice of the book is irreverent and tongue-and-cheek, with a dash of intelligence behind it all. Jarod Kintz also details life with his cat 'Cap'n (my favorite "character"), his laughable attempts at “stalking” women at Starbucks, and life in the “galaxy” of Florida. Kintz seems to ramble occasionally, taking things way off track, but I suspect this was intentional. I don’t believe there’s a single “chronicle” in this book that was accidental. It takes great skill to craft writing to look as though it hasn’t been crafted at all.
The book is brief—not even 100 pages—but a longer book would’ve been overkill. I can open it at any page and find a giggle that brightens my day instantly. Kintz mixes self-deprecating humor with a dash of satire and absurdity to create a very funny little book. Even if you don’t usually read “this type of book” I recommend you try it at least once. You never know when you’ll need a smile, and “Six Foot and Some Change” delivers that.
April 21, 2012
"Everybody deserves a gold star, even if they don't deserve it," says Kintz in his latest book. Well, I happen to think Kintz deserves at least that, along with 5-stars. Might this guy be one of America's funniest writers you've never heard of?
The title refers to the author's height, which he estimates to be around 6'3 - give or take "two dimes and a nickel." Kintz goes on to explain life with his cat 'Cap'n, who he describes as "a great listener and never interrupts when he's talking." Kintz also tells us about his pitiful exploits of stalking women at Starbucks and living in the galaxy of Florida. The book is organized into a collection of short fun-filled stories or "chronicles" as he calls them. I like to think of them as skits.
At times, Kintz can get off topic and be scattered brained, but he does it deliberately and everything he writes is carefully crafted, even though it may seem like it's not. He makes both historical and contemporary references to everything from Julius Caesar to Banksy, which tells us that Kintz has a grasp of both the present and history. In summary, Kintz has a good handle on the asinine world he lives in, which curiously, is a replica of the same god-forsaken place where we live.
The title refers to the author's height, which he estimates to be around 6'3 - give or take "two dimes and a nickel." Kintz goes on to explain life with his cat 'Cap'n, who he describes as "a great listener and never interrupts when he's talking." Kintz also tells us about his pitiful exploits of stalking women at Starbucks and living in the galaxy of Florida. The book is organized into a collection of short fun-filled stories or "chronicles" as he calls them. I like to think of them as skits.
At times, Kintz can get off topic and be scattered brained, but he does it deliberately and everything he writes is carefully crafted, even though it may seem like it's not. He makes both historical and contemporary references to everything from Julius Caesar to Banksy, which tells us that Kintz has a grasp of both the present and history. In summary, Kintz has a good handle on the asinine world he lives in, which curiously, is a replica of the same god-forsaken place where we live.
November 5, 2013
I received this book via a Goodreads giveaway, and it was well worth the few days of anticipation it took to receive it.
The book isn't so much a story as it is a memoir over a small portion of Jarod Kintz's life. It gives insight on how he works things through, on how he thinks things work, and on how he thinks in general, but words truly can't express the fluid motion of all the words and stories that weave this book together. Moreover, this book, expertly written, is absolutely hilarious. From the first page, I was, literally, laughing out loud. It's a quick, easy read that can be read by all audiences, and it is to all audiences that I suggest this book. 5 stars for a reason.
The book isn't so much a story as it is a memoir over a small portion of Jarod Kintz's life. It gives insight on how he works things through, on how he thinks things work, and on how he thinks in general, but words truly can't express the fluid motion of all the words and stories that weave this book together. Moreover, this book, expertly written, is absolutely hilarious. From the first page, I was, literally, laughing out loud. It's a quick, easy read that can be read by all audiences, and it is to all audiences that I suggest this book. 5 stars for a reason.
July 15, 2012
I recieved this book free from Goodreads! This book was hilarious! I absolutely loved reading it(: very descriptive and interesting, great book! It's definitely not something that I normally read but that just makes it even better(:
July 9, 2015
:)
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Formatting Tips
Goodreads allows some html formatting.
well formed web urls automatically get turned into links
link: my link text
link to book: use the "add book/author" link or Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
link to author: use the "add book/author" link or J.K. Rowling
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bold text: ...
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July 6, 2012
Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book through Goodreads.
Six Foot and some change is a brief quirky jaunt through the mind of Jarod Kintz. It reads like a collection of very brief essays, and that style works for this book. Kintz has a breezy tone that ferries the reader from one section to the next and the book never drags. It's very short, and you'll likely finish it in one sitting, but Kintz's skill with words ensures that you will have a smile on your face the whole time.
Six Foot and some change is a brief quirky jaunt through the mind of Jarod Kintz. It reads like a collection of very brief essays, and that style works for this book. Kintz has a breezy tone that ferries the reader from one section to the next and the book never drags. It's very short, and you'll likely finish it in one sitting, but Kintz's skill with words ensures that you will have a smile on your face the whole time.
April 25, 2012
A quick, read that offers more laughs than words on the page! Don't miss out
September 4, 2012
I received a free copy and was completely in love with the book. It was funny and witty. Laugh out loud fun.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews