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360 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1999
Reading Hamlet as an affirmation of my status in her eyes, not as someone devalued, which I had become in mine, was one of the great moments of my childhood. We were two voices to each other, two happily allied spirits in language. I knew nothing conscious of the inner dynamics that linked a desperate prince & adulterous queen at the play's interior, nor did I really take in the fury of the scene when Polonius is killed & Gertrude is verbally flayed by Hamlet.Beyond being a precocious reader but an occasionally delinquent student, Edward Said falls under the passionate grip of music, much of it classical and is transfixed by the sounds of Jeanette MacDonald & Nelson Eddy, Richard Strauss, Paderewski, Paul Robeson, Deanna Durbin & Bach.
We read together through all that, since what mattered to me was that in a curiously un-Hamlet-like way, I could count on her to be someone whose emotions & affections engaged mine without her really being more than an exquisitely maternal, protective & reassuring person.
this disjuncture between what I felt about music & what I actually did in music seems to have sharpened my memory considerably, allowing me first to retain, then to play over in my mind's ear, a sizable number of orchestral, instrumental & vocal compositions without much understanding of period or style.It is his passion for music, that first brought Edward Said to my serious attention, though I'd taken a shot at reading Orientalism & had time run out before my library edition was no longer renewable, having found the book rather difficult reading. When Said met conductor Daniel Barenboim, just by chance it seems, though they knew of each other's reputation and connection to Palestine/Israel, they quickly form a deep & lasting bond.
" كنت أهرول خلفه, وهو يحث الخطى, ويداه معقودتان خلف ظهره , فتعثرت ووقعت أرضاً. خادشاً يدي وركبتي بخدوش عميقة, فصرخت إليه غريزياً:(دادي... أرجوك) فتوقف والتفت ببطء إلي. ظل هكذا ثانيتين لا أكثر, ثم استدار وواصل سيره دون كلمة. وكان هذا كل ما في الأمر. مات هكذا, مشيحاً بوجهه نحو الجدار, دون أن يصدر أي صوت. وإني لأتساءل ما أذا أراد مرة أن يقول حقاً أكثر مما قال."
"فقد كنت أعتقد على الدوام بأولوية الوعي الفكري على الوعي القومي أو القبلي مهما أورثني ذلك الاعتقاد من شعور بالوحدة."