Willie Nelson(I)

On the last night of his first marriage with Martha, Willie came home drunk and passed out on the bed. Willie's wife sewed him up in a sheet and then beat him with a broom and then getting away in the car with the kids, her clothes, and his clothes. Willie said there was no way he could follow her naked so that was kind of the end of it.

Waylon Jennings once said that if everybody got up in the morning and masturbated, there wouldn't be no wars. I am not in favor of that as much as I am of pot. They should start off every morning summit with a puff or maybe just pump a little into the air conditioner. In the future, I would like to be able to push a switch and have pot released into every household all over the world.