Coffin Baby

For the last 10 years or so, there has been an emergence of films that fall under the "Rob Zombie" brand of movie-making, brazenly dedicating themselves not to story, plot, effective special effects or even shock, but instead focus themselves on a simple depraved formula: blood, pain, gore and torture.

There is really precious little that this film offers besides blood, pain, gore and torture. For the first half of the film, it barely even offers that! The acting is hamfisted at best, the filming is barely above amateur. Something vaguely resembling a plot is inserted at various parts of the film, but is so poorly conceived that it is hard if not impossible to follow. And if I could follow it, it's so idiotic that I wouldn't want to believe that any movie maker would be so simpleminded as to think that this would make a good film.

The makers of "Coffin Baby" make the mistake that ALL of the makers of these types of films make: they fall in love with their villain. He's so scary and evil, faceless and effective, completely psychotic with just a hint of intelligence. The Devil's own precious baby boy. He'll scare people! And so that is what the movie is about, the villain.

The only problem is that this particular sort of villain has been used time and time and time and time and time(x700 million) again. It's not original, and has never made a good movie. If the villain is not interesting, then the movie fails to be interesting. And guess what! This villain is a thirty-and-a-half foot drop below interesting.

I was bored throughout.