Sharks Vs. Silicone The 'Jaws' series tought us that sharks grow to 40 feet, eat helicopters, raise their heads above the water to roar at their prey, hunt in 4 feet of water, and attack cruise ships.
The recent megalodon films tought us that sharks grow to 65 feet, fly, eat 747 airplanes, and attack oil rigs, supertankers, and aircraft carriers. Yet still hunt teenagers in 4 feet of water and raise their heads above the water to roar.
Now '2 Headed Shark Attack' teaches us, sharks have two heads, grow to 65 feet yet still hunt teenagers in 4 feet of water, can collapse and island by butting against it, are amphibious and come on land to roar at teenagers, and most importantly have a sweet tooth for silicon.
The plot: Hardly original crew of token "marine biology" college students' cruise ship is struck by engine and radio failure.
With Carmen Electra as a college professor it's understandable why so many gorgeous, horny, and brain dead students signed up for the class.
And when I say there's a lot of silicone, I mean it. I counted only 4 breasts that could even pass for natural in the entire film.
Predictably the class wades ashore a "atoll" which according to this film tend to collapse. Atolls apparently also feature concrete docks for motor boats and Robinson Caruso like grass huts.
The dialogue consists entirely of, "What was that? Oh my God! Go go go!" There's plenty of blood and guts and some decent CGI FX.
Disappointingly there's no explanation for why a shark has 2 heads and is 60 feet long. Most giant shark movies at least offer some type of explanation such as a greedy corporation's experiment gone awry.
The silicone is nice to look at between killings but no one is memorably gorgeous enough to save this disaster.
