The Smoke

It's not often that I end up watching a film almost entirely without merit purely by my own choice but unfortunately I have only myself and some misleading critic reviews to blame for this wasted 90 minutes.

The storyline is so unbelievable that it makes eastenders seem like a gritty east end documentary/drama. The characters are both exceptionally shallow and deeply flawed, the dialogue is mostly appalling other than a few mildly amusing interchanges between some of the villains and the most appealing part of the whole movie is the ending - not the content of the ending itself but the actual cessation of poor quality viewing that was truly like a weight being lifted from my chest.

I love a shameless "glamorous" gangster flick like lock stock, snatch or layer cake but this is nothing like those. It's a very cheap impersonation. This film is the movie equivalent of one of those fake aftershaves you see a street vendor selling for £5 on a stall in turkey.

Save your time and do something more productive like sitting in the dark alone rather than watch this.