The big alphabet of movie flops
Some of the greatest box-office bombs, alphabetically organized for your convenience.
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- DirectorSteven SpielbergStarsJohn BelushiDan AykroydTreat WilliamsHysterical Californians prepare for a Japanese invasion in the days after Pearl Harbor.Too many characters, too much slapstick.
- DirectorJohn Lee HancockStarsDennis QuaidBilly Bob ThorntonEmilio EchevarríaBased on the 1836 standoff between a group of Texan and Tejano men, led by Davy Crockett and Jim Bowie, and Mexican dictator Santa Anna's forces at the Alamo in San Antonio Texas.Not as horrible as expected, but very slow.
- DirectorArthur HillerStarsRyan O'NealCoolioChuck DWhen a rookie filmmaker with the unfortunate name Alan Smithee realizes he's an unwitting studio puppet, being forced to make a big-budget action movie he knows is horrible, he steals the master reels and tries to make a deal.Quite meta, but kinda funny.
- DirectorChristian MarquandStarsEwa AulinRichard BurtonCharles AznavourCandy Christian, an innocent high-schooler, encounters numerous colorful characters and humorous sexual situations while attempting to find meaning in life.Ten loosely connected semi-rapes and a big musical ending.
- DirectorLeo McCareyStarsGroucho MarxHarpo MarxChico MarxRufus T. Firefly is named the dictator of bankrupt Freedonia and declares war on neighboring Sylvania over the love of his wealthy backer Mrs. Teasdale, contending with two inept spies who can't seem to keep straight which side they're on.Like watching 45 minutes of 3 Bugs Bunny's having a "Who's funniest" competition.
- DirectorPaul W.S. AndersonStarsLaurence FishburneSam NeillKathleen QuinlanA rescue crew is tasked with investigating the mysterious reappearance of a spaceship that had been lost for seven years.Interesting ideas, increasingly terrible towards the end.
- DirectorTony ScottStarsRobert De NiroWesley SnipesEllen BarkinAn all-star baseball player becomes the unhealthy focus of an obsessive salesman.Boring. So very, very boring.
- DirectorVondie Curtis-HallStarsMariah CareyEric BenétMax BeesleyA young singer dates a disc jockey who helps her get into the music business, but their relationship become complicated as she ascends to super stardom.Depressing, boring, empty, great cut-aways though.
- DirectorOliver StoneStarsHiep Thi LeTommy Lee JonesHaing S. NgorDuring the Vietnam War, a Vietnamese woman struggles hustling on the streets, where she comes face to face with those involved in the conflict around her.Long and slightly tragic. The world is cold and gray, except American supermarkets.
- DirectorOliver HirschbiegelStarsNicole KidmanDaniel CraigJeremy NorthamAs a Washington, D.C. psychiatrist unearths the origin of an alien epidemic, she also discovers her son might be the only way it can be stopped.Not inherently terrible, just kinda bland.
- DirectorAndrew StantonStarsTaylor KitschLynn CollinsWillem DafoeA war-weary former army captain is inexplicably transported to Mars and reluctantly becomes embroiled in a conflict of epic proportions.I could not bear to watch it, reading this page was more interesting, so i got distracted
- DirectorPeter YatesStarsKen MarshallLysette AnthonyFreddie JonesA prince and a fellowship of companions set out to rescue his bride from a fortress of alien invaders who have arrived on their home planet, Krull.Some of the visuals were great, but it completely falls apart at the end.
- DirectorCurtis HansonStarsEric BanaDrew BarrymoreRobert DuvallA hotshot poker player tries to win a tournament in Vegas, but is fighting a losing battle with his personal problems.For anyone who wants to spend two hours watching people play poker. Also, the people are uninteresting and dull.
- DirectorSimon WellsStarsSeth GreenJoan CusackDan FoglerA young boy named Milo gains a deeper appreciation for his mom after Martians come to Earth to take her away.This movie crams more cliche's in its first 15 minutes than other movies do in their complete runtime.
If they would have done it on purpose, it would have been impressive. - DirectorAndrey KonchalovskiyStarsRichard PhilippsFernanda DorogiKriszta DorogiIn 1920s Vienna, a young girl receives a magical doll on Christmas Eve.Uncle Albert taught us that thanks to relitivity this movie is only terrible if you compare it with other movies.
- DirectorMatthew DiamondStarsJaime PresslyCloris LeachmanChristopher LloydThe Oogieloves, Goobie, Zoozie, and Toofie, set out to find five magical balloons that will make their good friend Schluufy's surprise birthday party extra special.What the hell are Robin Hood, Doc Brown, Frau Blücher and Joy Hickey doing in this movie? Kids won't understand and adults won't enjoy it.
Implying the Netherlands are all about tulips, talking lama's, wind mills and dance-sombrero's is not the way to educate your kids. - DirectorP.J. HoganStarsJeremy SumpterJason IsaacsOlivia WilliamsThe Darling family children receive a visit from Peter Pan, who takes them to Never Never Land where an ongoing war with the evil Pirate Captain Hook is taking place.Just like the Disney cartoon, just without the songs. And without charm. And without personality. And without nostalgia.
Hook's pretty great though. - DirectorLarry CohenStarsDavid CarradineMichael MoriartyCandy ClarkNYPD detectives Shepard and Powell are working on a bizarre case of a ritualistic Aztec murder. Meanwhile, something big is attacking people of New York and only greedy small time crook Jimmy Quinn knows where its lair is.Rushed production, slow movie. But some of the acting and effects are better than they have any right to be.
- DirectorRobert SchwentkeStarsRyan ReynoldsJeff BridgesMary-Louise ParkerIn the afterlife, Nick Walker, a detective who used to work for the Boston Police Department, is hired by a director of a group of deceased police officers to fight against the renegade ghosts.80% Men in Black, 15% Blade and 5% random bizarre things that all almost make it worth watching.
Also Jeff Bridges is too good to be in this movie. - DirectorLana WachowskiLilly WachowskiStarsEmile HirschMatthew FoxChristina RicciYoung driver, Speed Racer, aspires to be champion of the racing world with the help of his family and his high-tech Mach 5 automobile.Wacky Races the movie, but anything but the racing is awful.
- DirectorDavid SorenStarsRyan ReynoldsPaul GiamattiMaya RudolphA freak accident might just help an everyday garden snail achieve his biggest dream: winning the Indy 500.Many famous voices that don't do much, some visual humour. Still, might be one of the best movies on this list.
- DirectorPrinceMichael BallhausStarsPrinceJerome BentonKristin Scott ThomasTwo con artist brothers attempt to swindle a soon-to-be wealthy heiress, but things get complicated when one falls in love with her.Heels, shopping sprees, cleavage and chest hair; Prince's delusional take on Casa Blanca.
- DirectorJohn BrunoStarsJamie Lee CurtisDonald SutherlandWilliam BaldwinAfter outrunning a typhoon at sea, a strong-willed tugboat navigator and her crew discover a high-tech alien life form that's taken control of a Russian research vessel and aims to destroy on a massive scale.It started off okay, then got worse. Where did the native American disappear?
Also, Drunk-Pirate-Captain-Alien-Zombie-Cyborg-Donald-Sutherland. - DirectorSamuel FullerStarsKristy McNicholChrista LangVernon WeddleA trainer attempts to retrain a vicious dog that's been raised to attack black people.Marley and Me combined with American History X. Could have used more Jurassic Park III.
- DirectorWai Keung LauStarsXiaoming HuangEthan JuanPurba RgyalAn elite crime-fighting unit in the court of the Chinese emperor relies on flying swords to defeat their enemies.Xue di zi: Please watch the first 7 minutes, enjoy, then move on with your life without ever thinking of this movie again.