1400 films accomplished.
I do mention spoilers in some of my statements. Be warned
My memories:
Time to go back to the past, the oldest films I can recall seeing between the ages 4 to 5 are the Godzilla movies, including the american one. This films were pure gold back then, and some of them still are. I had a lot of them on VHS, what more could a kid ask for. I still love these films to this day, even the american version , most won't agree on that with me.
Then came my obssession with Aliens and Predators, I must own thousands of dollars of merchandise for these films. I consider Alien and Aliens two of the best sci-fi movies ever made. Predator is one of those films that I would watch atleast once a week, I couldn't get enough. I had to have seen it between 70 and 80 times, come to think of it I haven't watched it in a year or two, I guess it burnt me out. I own atleast two to three copies of each of these films, even prometheus.
My crime drama intrest lasted a fair bit of time, I loved Scarface, it used to be my favourite film but now I can't even stand to watch it, the game may have had something to do with that. I eventually found my way into Martin Scorsese films, Goodfellas and all that other great stuff. The Coen brothers made some great crime films aswell, Blood Simple and No Country For Old Men, I loved those films.
Now it's time for the big dog that has yet to be de-throwned from my full attention, Horror. This is where it's at, such a large quantity of trashy garbage that I had access to via The Scream channel, to bad it's gone and has been replaced by Dusk. The very first horror film I ever bought was the ultimate edition of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, it has to be the only time I have viewed all of the special features more than once. From there on in, I was hooked and have yet to grow tired with the genre, it takes up atleast 65 percent of my film collection.
! As of april it has been de-throwned, what a shame, I'd rather watch good movies, I just can't understand why horror films can't be good also.!
!!!STATE OF HORROR FILMS: MY THOUGHTS!!!
It's a shame that we don't get good horror movies anymore, we either get generic supernatural ghost tale or low budget exploitation, all of it is garbage. I have to say I am sick and tired of seeing extreme violence, I don't care for it anymore. I am also sick of terrible characters and garbage stories. This genre is on life support, IT'S ALL GARBAGE! I want to be frightended for crying out loud, but nothing does the trick for me anymore. I am more frightened from my own stories than I am from any horror film I can think of. I know how to make the good stuff, suspence and tension are a key, it can be shocking without being gory, and it can disturb you, but the characters have to be unique and the story not so generic, it has to leave you with the sense of being horrified. You could throw in some psychological elements. I try my best to incorporate these keys into my horror stories. In short I can't wait to get out there, I think about it every day, if I die before than it would all be a joke, everything I've worked so hard to create. Who knows, maybe hollywood might be a nuclear graveyard by the time.
_________________________________________________
My top 10 favourite actors: As of Mar.5, 2013
1. Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained
2. Kurt Russell, he is always enjoyable
3. Gary Oldman
4. Liam Neeson
5. Jack Nicholson
6. Clint Eastwood
7. Michael Fassbender
8. Christian Bale
9. Samuel L. Jackson, Pulp Fiction
10. Daniel Day-Lewis, Gangs of New York
My top 5 fovourite actresses: As od Mar.17, 2013
1. Emily Blunt
2. Keri Russell
3. Radha Mitchelle
4. Heather Langenkamp
5. Naomi Watts
6. Scarlet Johanson
7. Marion Cotillard
My memories:
Time to go back to the past, the oldest films I can recall seeing between the ages 4 to 5 are the Godzilla movies, including the american one. This films were pure gold back then, and some of them still are. I had a lot of them on VHS, what more could a kid ask for. I still love these films to this day, even the american version , most won't agree on that with me.
Then came my obssession with Aliens and Predators, I must own thousands of dollars of merchandise for these films. I consider Alien and Aliens two of the best sci-fi movies ever made. Predator is one of those films that I would watch atleast once a week, I couldn't get enough. I had to have seen it between 70 and 80 times, come to think of it I haven't watched it in a year or two, I guess it burnt me out. I own atleast two to three copies of each of these films, even prometheus.
My crime drama intrest lasted a fair bit of time, I loved Scarface, it used to be my favourite film but now I can't even stand to watch it, the game may have had something to do with that. I eventually found my way into Martin Scorsese films, Goodfellas and all that other great stuff. The Coen brothers made some great crime films aswell, Blood Simple and No Country For Old Men, I loved those films.
Now it's time for the big dog that has yet to be de-throwned from my full attention, Horror. This is where it's at, such a large quantity of trashy garbage that I had access to via The Scream channel, to bad it's gone and has been replaced by Dusk. The very first horror film I ever bought was the ultimate edition of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, it has to be the only time I have viewed all of the special features more than once. From there on in, I was hooked and have yet to grow tired with the genre, it takes up atleast 65 percent of my film collection.
! As of april it has been de-throwned, what a shame, I'd rather watch good movies, I just can't understand why horror films can't be good also.!
!!!STATE OF HORROR FILMS: MY THOUGHTS!!!
It's a shame that we don't get good horror movies anymore, we either get generic supernatural ghost tale or low budget exploitation, all of it is garbage. I have to say I am sick and tired of seeing extreme violence, I don't care for it anymore. I am also sick of terrible characters and garbage stories. This genre is on life support, IT'S ALL GARBAGE! I want to be frightended for crying out loud, but nothing does the trick for me anymore. I am more frightened from my own stories than I am from any horror film I can think of. I know how to make the good stuff, suspence and tension are a key, it can be shocking without being gory, and it can disturb you, but the characters have to be unique and the story not so generic, it has to leave you with the sense of being horrified. You could throw in some psychological elements. I try my best to incorporate these keys into my horror stories. In short I can't wait to get out there, I think about it every day, if I die before than it would all be a joke, everything I've worked so hard to create. Who knows, maybe hollywood might be a nuclear graveyard by the time.
_________________________________________________
My top 10 favourite actors: As of Mar.5, 2013
1. Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained
2. Kurt Russell, he is always enjoyable
3. Gary Oldman
4. Liam Neeson
5. Jack Nicholson
6. Clint Eastwood
7. Michael Fassbender
8. Christian Bale
9. Samuel L. Jackson, Pulp Fiction
10. Daniel Day-Lewis, Gangs of New York
My top 5 fovourite actresses: As od Mar.17, 2013
1. Emily Blunt
2. Keri Russell
3. Radha Mitchelle
4. Heather Langenkamp
5. Naomi Watts
6. Scarlet Johanson
7. Marion Cotillard
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- 1727 titles
- DirectorGareth EdwardsStarsAaron Taylor-JohnsonElizabeth OlsenBryan CranstonThe world is beset by the appearance of monstrous creatures, but one of them may be the only one who can save humanity.
- DirectorDanny PangOxide Chun PangStarsShu QiEugenia YuanJesdaporn PholdeeAfter a failed suicide attempt, a pregnant woman gains the ability to see ghosts.
- DirectorMarc WebbStarsAndrew GarfieldEmma StoneJamie FoxxWhen New York is put under siege by Oscorp, it is up to Spider-Man to save the city he swore to protect as well as his loved ones.
- DirectorMike FlanaganStarsKaren GillanBrenton ThwaitesKatee SackhoffA recently released inmate from a mental asylum learns from his sister that the murders he was convicted of committing were actually orchestrated by a supernatural entity, the Lasser Glass mirror.I haven't written one of these in a while, expect some BS.
First I'd like to address the trailers, Hmm... I only remember the one, I guess I wasn't the only one in this boat. The audience gave some positive hype to it, the Youngin's are into it, I smell new life blood for Godzilla. For me personally, I wanted to cry because it was best thing I've experienced in a while, can't wait.
So now the film, it's Meh. It wasn't a total waste of money, but also wasn't money well spent. I'm only 18, it didn't effect me, but it effected the grown adult audience, that's not good. The two characters had only one set of emotions each. The sister was obsessed, the brother was snivelling. The beginning was boring, the middle got my attention, the 3rd act lost me completely. The two time lines running parallel was just awe-full, just show us what happens and stop trying to seem cool and brilliant, it sucks. There was no suspense or scares, or intelligent scares. Instead it used painful violence to try to put you at unease. And the whole unhappy ending, protagonist losing bit just doesn't work anymore. Same goes for the happy ending/fake out ending. The only way to get a solid reaction is to go out hard-core like.
Ghosts/scares: Sub par generic I guess, I mean I forget them already. The only part that came close to being disturbing was the mom being mutilated and chained up like a dog, but literally half a second later, and we see she is just possessed by a demon and has the intelligence of a house fly. Way to ruin that scare, I thought that was going to be some hard core stuff right there.
So that's Oculus... I think, I don't know I already forget it. It's a bad year for horror and this is the best so far, but the Godzilla trailer was awesome, go pay ten dollars to see that trailer on the big screen. - DirectorAbdellatif KechicheStarsLéa SeydouxAdèle ExarchopoulosSalim KechioucheAdèle's life is changed when she meets Emma, a young woman with blue hair, who will allow her to discover desire and to assert herself as a woman and as an adult. In front of others, Adèle grows, seeks herself, loses herself, and ultimately finds herself through love and loss.
- DirectorFrancis LawrenceStarsJennifer LawrenceJosh HutchersonLiam HemsworthKatniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark become targets of the Capitol after their victory in the 74th Hunger Games sparks a rebellion in the Districts of Panem.
- DirectorPete TravisStarsKarl UrbanOlivia ThirlbyLena HeadeyIn a violent, futuristic city where the police have the authority to act as judge, jury and executioner, a cop teams with a trainee to take down a gang that deals the reality-altering drug, SLO-MO.The more I watch this film, and the more modern action movies I see, I have to say this film is one of the best in the last ten years. Most action movies now are just dumbed down to a common level, with actors you don't remember, even SLY and Arnold's latest films were terrible. But this film just works, the setting, the visuals, the violent world with no hope for peace, and of course Dredd laying down the law. It's not over the top and goofy or in your face like Fast 5 or something. There's no dumb comedy reliefs, instead it's very subtle, most of which coming from Dredds reactions to his surroundings and his attitude. The action is well paced, the world is dark, the characters are believable, it all fits nicely. And there is no happy ending, just another day on the job, tomorrow will be the same, but Dredd will always lay down the law. This will be remembered as a classic, in time though.
- DirectorChris BuckJennifer LeeStarsKristen BellIdina MenzelJonathan GroffFearless optimist Anna teams up with rugged mountain man Kristoff and his loyal reindeer Sven in an epic journey to find Anna's sister Elsa, whose icy powers have trapped the kingdom of Arendelle in eternal winter.
- DirectorDavid YatesStarsDaniel RadcliffeEmma WatsonRupert GrintAs the battle between the forces of good and evil in the wizarding world escalates, Harry Potter draws ever closer to his final confrontation with Voldemort.
- DirectorDavid O. RussellStarsBradley CooperJennifer LawrenceRobert De NiroAfter a stint in a mental institution, former teacher Pat Solitano moves back in with his parents and tries to reconcile with his ex-wife. Things get more challenging when Pat meets Tiffany, a mysterious girl with problems of her own.
- DirectorJosé PadilhaStarsJoel KinnamanGary OldmanMichael KeatonIn 2028 Detroit, when Alex Murphy, a loving husband, father and good cop, is critically injured in the line of duty, the multinational conglomerate OmniCorp sees their chance for a part-man, part-robot police officer.
- DirectorHenry SelickStarsDanny ElfmanChris SarandonCatherine O'HaraJack Skellington, king of Halloween Town, discovers Christmas Town, but his attempts to bring Christmas to his home causes confusion.
- DirectorRyûta MiyakeStarsHiroki SuzukiIchirôta MiyakawaNatsuki KasaAkane begins seeing visions of a female ghost wearing the same yellow hat and red satchel she wore as a school child.
- DirectorJames MangoldStarsHugh JackmanWill Yun LeeTao OkamotoWolverine comes to Japan to meet an old friend whose life he saved years ago, and gets embroiled in a conspiracy involving yakuza and mutants.
- DirectorLarry CharlesStarsBill MaherTal BachmanJonathan BouldenBill Maher's take on the current state of world religion.
- DirectorCarl BessaiStarsSharon HinnendaelKaniehtiio HornC.C. SheffieldNew college student Charlotte Hawthorn has trouble distinguishing reality from fantasy.Godzilla says this movie sucks, and so do I.
So this is apparently a remake of some soft core porno, you know the industry stooped low when they are remaking porn. This movie is very boring, maybe it has to do with the one dimensional characters that ooze blandness every time I see them. Maybe it's to do with the fact that the first hour doesn't make any sense. Charlotte has issues, yeah okay. Maybe it has something to do with the WTF Pre credits scene, all I know is the film jumps back and forth between reality and dream land.
All that I got out of this film is college is a pretty gross place, the women are like some torture masters. They haze fresh-mens by forcing them to strip and drink hard liquor, and if they don't comply, they are beaten. And if that's not the worst part, Charlotte is molested by some lesbian rapist, this right here showcases the soft core source material, that and about a dozen other sex and nude scenes. Then she's got this pervert co-worker breathing down her neck, he gets touchy feely and even stalks her. At this point the film showcases how unlikable all of the characters are. So Charlotte succumbs to the basic human need for sex, and lets Chris(her co worker) do the deed. But he gets killed before he can do it, was I supposed to care, I'll admit I laughed a little. At this point in the film it's pretty much twilight with all the love and BS drama between the girls and boys. So when will this end, oh another 20 minutes, I'll just skip to the end. And that's it, she kills the vampire and has a good cry, because she is going to be the new vampire, or something like that.
It's a terrible film straight from Canada, I knew that before the credits ended, it had a Canadian feel to it. I gave it a 1 out of 10, more so because it wasted my time, every thing about it is bad, and it's just a bland and uninteresting story. Gunga Gee Ga Gunga, as Elpresador would say, it's bad. - DirectorAndrew PaquinStarsBrian GeraghtyRachel BlanchardAnna PaquinA couple on the verge of a nasty divorce attempts to sell their empty love nest and move on with their lives, separately. Several days after a successful open house, they are horrified to discover that a potential buyer didn't leave their home. While Alice is being held captive in the basement, the unannounced house guest moves in upstairs. She senses that her capture is being kept a rebellious secret. She knows her way out--if only she can get out alive.
- DirectorKimberly PeirceStarsChloë Grace MoretzJulianne MooreGabriella WildeA shy girl, outcast by her peers and sheltered by her religious mother, unleashes telekinetic terror on her small town after being pushed too far at her senior prom.So I'm guessing this was remade because the of the surge of teen bullying that is going on in the news, so they thought it was time for an update. Too bad they didn't update it one bit huh. You know, they should have remade it, instead of following the original in every way shape and from. This is a pointless film, why was it made. They reuse the same scenes, same dialogue, no matter how goofy and dated it is. What was the deal with them putting that montage in this film, why would they put that in there.
The teenagers in this film are so Hollywood, Chris is like the god*amn devil, she is evil incarnate. And the whole prom theme, do the kids even care about that in this day and age, I don't know that's an American thing. And the whole teacher bullying Carrie, is this for real, I have never ever seen a teacher bully or allow bullying to a student. Every single thing in this film is complete garbage, except our two leads. Mortez was very good as Carrie, but the problem with that is, she pretty much just copied Sissy Spacek's performance. She was good, but I have seen it done before, and much better at that. But I still did feel her pain, and felt bad about what happened to her. Her reaction to Tommy dying was much better here, than it was in the original. I never much cared for Mortez before, and never understood why people liked her, but considering this is the first time she has ever given a good performance, I don't have a problem with her anymore. But the one who steals the show is Julianne Moore, she surpasses the original Margret White in my opinion. When she first appeared at the school after the incident, I could just feel her presence. The gym teacher was much weaker in this film, she didn't sit right with me.
Overall, the film is very disappointing, they had a huge opportunity to update this properly to fit with modern society. But no, it plays out as if it were still in the 70's. It has it's high and lows, but it was enjoyable. But the reality is, you could just stay at home and the original, or the tormented, or anything about this subject matter for dirt cheap. - DirectorShûsuke KanekoStarsShinobu NakayamaAi MaedaYukijirô HotaruGamera's ties to humanity have been severed as the Gyaos re-emerge. Nagamine and Asagi investigate as an orphaned girl named Ayana discovers a new creature. Named Iris, Ayana seeks revenge on Gamera for the death of her family.I was surprised about how much people praise this film, I just finished viewing it, and I'm not that impressed. "Well you just didn't get the superb plot". Oh I got it, I just think it's stupid. Ayana somehow lifts a immovable stone, which causes some tentacle monster to hatch. So she raises it with the intent of sending it after Gamera. Was I supposed feel some sort of emotion when the characters and story progress. One, Iris looks cool, but frankly isn't a huge threat. Maybe for a little kid Iris will stir up some tension, but I didn't see any danger. And I was right, because he just gets his stomach ripped open in one punch, and is down for the count.
The plot was very sub par for a trilogy final. This film pretty much goes like this: 40 minutes of set up, 1 hour and 20 minutes until some thing happens, and 1 hour and 47 minutes of MEH-NESS. Seriously, you wait almost an hour and a half for like 2 minutes worth of monster fighting. What's the point of them putting three different monsters in this film, and have no fight scenes. It feels almost like they wanted to make a good movie, instead of a monster movie, I watched this to see monsters blow sh-t up, not some BS revenge story that is completely ridiculous.
I feel as if I should address the scene where Ayana offers herself. It's like some Japanese hentai. Let me repeat her words " Iris, I'm so hot(as she opens her blouse), what...HAHAHAHAHA? Then Iris grabs her with his tentacles. What was the deal with that, HAHAHAHAHA, I can't stop laughing. Oh yeah, the subtitles for this film are atrocious, you miss half of the dialogue because it doesn't even show up on the screen. But it is nowhere near as bad as the Godzilla vs. Megalon DVD, they pretty much just changed the dialogue for that.
I may not think to highly of this film, but that doesn't mean it's bad, it's actually very well made for a monster movie. But other than the quality, the 90's Godzilla films are much more enjoyable and fun to watch. This film is very violent, I would compare it to Godzilla vs. Destoroyah with the amount of carnage, but this film goes more into graphic detail, which is surprising.
I didn't care about any of the characters, the plot was just fine, there was no action, and it was genuinely unpleasant. But I still recommend watching it you like monster movies. - DirectorDave ParkerStarsSophie MonkTad HilgenbrinkWilliam SadlerA group of young horror fans go searching for a film that mysteriously vanished years ago but instead find that the demented killer from the movie is real, and he's thrilled to meet fans who will die gruesomely for his art.Short and sweet review: I've been meaning to watch this films for years now, but forgot about it. But turns out it's on ITunes, so I rented it. As far as recent slasher films go, this one is not bad. The plot is idiotic, the characters are worthless and despicable, they really ruffled my spirit, I'm looking at you Serina.
So, we open with Tyler, an obsessed horror fan, researching a lost horror film. His girlfriend comes in, and offers him sex. And like a complete beast, he tells her to go back to bed while he looks at his horror film. This comes into play, and bites him in the ass in a few minutes. Then we are introduced to his best friend, Tyler explains his plans to visit Alexa, the daughter of the director of the lost horror film. So he goes to find her, while his best friend goes to his friends girlfriends house, and then they adulterate. Yeah, guess who I don't want to make it through the film, these two. But that's not it, Serina tries to get the audience to feel sorry for her and root for her. She makes it out that Tyler is the bad guy, and she tries to guilt him. My god, this woman is toxic, she cheats on him, snuggles with his friend right in front of him, and she still eggs him on like they are still having a good relationship. Well she ends up getting it bad in the end. So now Tyler is with Alexa, and baby face is now on the hunt. I like the lost of the doll mask and rotten jaw bone, he means business when he looks you in the eyes. It's strange, they play him off as someone like Jason Voorhees, but he actually speaks, quite eloquently at that. What a curve ball, but he never does it after that moment, it's really strange. The Tyler character was so obsessed with finding this lost film and it's secrets, but when he gets what he wants, he turns into a little Pansy, and changes his mind, and for once shows some concern for his girlfriend who he neglects. The best friend gets killed, baby face gets killed (turns out all you had to do was poke a stick through him, and no one ever tried that before huh). Tyler finally gets to watch his precious lost film. OH, yeah Serina was raped by baby face. So her fate is to be chained up in a barn for nine months until she gives birth to bay faces child. She got the short end of the stick, poor old Serina got it bad.
I can the film was watchable, and I'll probably watch it again in the future. It's worth a watch, it better than the Michael, Jason, and Freddy remakes, that's just sad. - DirectorRichard ParryStarsScoot McNairyAnna SkellernAndrew HawleyBrody, his girlfriend Kerry and their friend Leo go hiking in Dartmoor's Wistman's Woods, so named because of its legendary haunted past. That night jealousies, sexual tensions and strained relationships come to a head turning what should have been a peaceful camping adventure into a trip to terror. As collective paranoia reaches fever pitch it becomes clear that there is a much darker force at work in the ancient eerie surroundings. Who or what is after them? And can any one of them survive a night in the woods?This movie is horrible, the characters are despicable, it's not even scary. Let me tell you the two biggest problems with this film, these two problems that pretty much ruined the whole film.
Problem 1: Kerry, the girlfriend to Brody, and I also guess to Leo too. The first few minutes we see her, I knew she was no good and was sleeping around. That's one thing, but she brings Leo( her other lover) on her boyfriends camping trip. She then continues to ignore Brody, and treat him like he is the bad guy. But that still isn't it, when Brody goes off into the woods, she takes Leo into the tent and begins having sex with him. But little miss prince throws Leo away too. And now she is all mad, and upset. But that still isn't it, when Brody tries to take her safely out of the woods, she stabs him to death, then cries for him to come back. Kerry is one of thee worst female characters in horror history, you just can't wait for her to get her come up-ins, but we don't even get to see it.
Problem 2: There is maybe about two minutes of exposition about the woods, and it isn't even well done. We have no fear, or understanding of what is happening because it doesn't even set up the horror properly. Compare that to The Blair Witch Project, we get tons of background history and stories about the woods, and the witch. We know to be afraid of the woods, and know it is a bad place to be. But here, we don't get jack. This movie focuses more on enraging you over an adulterer girlfriend, so don't care about 2/3rds of the characters, and we have no proper set up. This film fails so hard it's not even funny, I think they added the horror aspect as an after thought.
This movie is just a sad and anger fuelled mess. So as usual, stay away. - DirectorJeff BetancourtStarsDanielle SavreMatt CohenChrissy CalhounA young woman attempts to cure her phobia of the boogeyman by checking herself into a mental health facility, only to realize too little too late that she is now helplessly trapped with her own greatest fear.
- DirectorKiyoshi KurosawaStarsHaruhiko KatôKumiko AsôKoyukiTwo groups of people discover evidence that suggests spirits may be trying to invade the human world through the Internet.
- DirectorJames DeMonacoStarsEthan HawkeLena HeadeyMax BurkholderA wealthy family is held hostage for harboring the target of a murderous syndicate during the Purge, a 12-hour period in which any and all crime is legal.Oh my god, this is the most frustrating piece of sh-t I have ever had to sit through. There was at least four different times I just wanted to shut it off, and break something. I'll come right out and say never ever buy this film, even if you could get it for 99 cents, it is not worth that. I'm going to use the R word, even if people get sensitive over it. If you have seen this movie, than you'll understand why.
The actions/characters: The school girl daughter put's her family in danger because she wants to get laid. The son puts his family in danger because he has a 12 IQ. The mother puts the family in danger because she is the most useless piece of sh-t this side of the San Andreas. The father is the only rational one, but even he succumbs to his family's p-ssy face nature. Seriously, they live in a ultra violent world, and all they worry about is green peace. I have never screamed so loud and so viciously at a film in my entire life, but these characters had me pulling out my hair. The whole film centers on them having to hand over a bum to the strangers wannabes, even when they tie the bum up, they cry like babies about it. They would rather die to psychopaths, than hand over some bum they have never seen before. This is a world of Psychopaths, people cut for survival, or wimpy losers. And that whole family were a bunch of babies. They even got involved with a death plot by their neighbours who try to kill them. But the bum comes back and saves them and turns the tide. What do they do, let them walk. Yeah, your destroyed house and dead husband must be thrilled about that choice. That wife needed a good smacking from Ethan Hawke, same with the boy, and the daughter, even that stupid little robot needed some too.
This was the dumbest, most idiotic, piece of trash I have ever seen, and I have watched a lot of Asylum films, wow. And you want to know the worst part about it, there's going to be a sequel. Hands down thee worst main stream horror film of 2013, congratulations. I give it a 0 out of 10 stars. - DirectorSimon BarrettJason EisenerGareth EvansStarsLawrence Michael LevineKelsy AbbottAdam WingardSearching for a missing student, two private investigators break into his house and find a collection of VHS tapes. Viewing the horrific contents of each cassette, they realize there may be dark motives behind the student's disappearance.Dog cam, check. Zombie cam, check. Eyeball cam, check. Garbage film, check.
VHS had it's moments, I liked it. It was a neat little anthology film, but it was a bad movie in every way, shape and form. Well people seemed to like this one, so I thought it was going to be better. But no, people don't know what they are talking about.
Prolouge: We get a weak setup with some private detective filming a overly graphic sex scene. His new assignment, find some introvert that holds obviously doesn't interact with any one, but people seam to know when he is extra reclusive. So these two investigators break into his home, and start watching his VHS tapes for some reason. The script probably took 3 days to write, the actors must have just been pulled off the street. I had Breaking bad playing in the background on AMC, it was good to have on, because this movie was incredibly boring. Here we go.
Segment 1: As soon as this began, I knew the movie was going to suck. Some guy gets a robotic camera eye installed into his head. Little does he know, it will cause him to see dead people. Huh, that sounds familiar, Oh yeah "The Eye" already did that. So this guy hides in the bathroom every time he gets scarred, and the ghosts never go after him in there, and they only show up at night, so he could just sleep in the bathroom. There problem solved guy, or you could just blindfold yourself. But no, he lets some random chick into his house. She blabs about how she has the same problem. Her uncle shows up, and the only way to get rid of him is for her to rape the guy with the camera eye. The second she put hers hands on her clothes, my eyes rolled to the back of my head, of course they had to put this in, whatever. So long story short, they die in a couple of hours, thee end. 1 OUT OF 5.
Segment 2: I kind of liked this one. Zombie cam, it's more of a comedy rather than horror. It had some funny moments, but also had the weakest characters and script. I'll give it a past just on the fact we get to see through the zombies eyes. 3 out of 5.
Segment 3: Frankly I wasn't even paying attention to this for the first half. The second half picked up very well. It had some good moments, but the payoff was laughable. The demon seamed like it was going to be cool, but when they showed it in full, it just some stupid ass goat monster. I give it a 2 out of 5.
Segment 4: Okay, this one was pretty bad, how could they mess up aliens in a secluded area. Well they put dumb kids, tomas the train engine ships, and dog cams in this. The sound quality is terrible, those little kids are disturbed. I felt bad for that poor sister, she gets hit water balloons with piss in them, her brothers are watching her have intercourse with her boyfriend. Incestual brothers are the worst, ask that chick from "The Funhouse". And if that wasn't bad enough, they show some 15 year old kid ******* off to porn. At this point I turned over to the TV, and watched Jessie break down in group therapy. Then they aliens chase them around. Why do aliens want a bunch of kids, who knows. And the segment ends with a dog going splat. Yeah, that was terrible. 0 out of 5.
Epilouge: So the guy they were looking for has become some supernatural being, and kills the two investigators.
Wow, what a pile of garbage. The nudity had been toned way down here, thank you. The violence is even more over the top. Everything else pretty much stayed the same, except for any originality or creativity. Well deserving of a 3 out of 10. It's watchable, but that doesn't mean you'll like what you see.
