Shaken, Not Stirred: The World of James Bond

Jazzed up biopic of Fleming, with Game of Thrones' Charles Dance. These things have a tendency to play fast and loose with Fleming's real life, trying to turn him into Bond. He worked in Naval Intelligence, but was not a spy or commando. Mostly he was an administrator and was noted for concocting wild schemes. He did oversee an intelligence commando unit that accomplished some amazing things; but, they did it in the field, while Fleming was back home.

I believe this one was done for ITV.

This one really goes for fiction and uses the stunt of casting Sean Connery's son, Jason, as Fleming. For one thing, he is too young for the main period showcased in the film. It's okay; but, Connery wasn't a very experienced actor, at the time, and he doesn't carry the part well. This one was done for US cable.

BBC tv movie, with another bio of Fleming. No idea how factual this one was.

Recent era tv mini-series that looks at Fleming's wartime service and his relationship with Ann Chateris, which included an extra-marital affair, as well as their ultimate marriage. It also brings up their "extra-curricular" activities. Also from the BBC.

Bond debuted, in other media, on a South African radio program. This was his debut in a visual medium. Climax was an anthology series, which produced teleplays. true to form for America, the very British James Bond becomes American Jimmy Bond, of Combined Intelligence, and Felix Leiter is the Limey. Barry Nelson is a rather unlikely Bond, based on what we would come to know; but, he was a good actor. Peter Lorre is Le Chiffre, the man Bond is there to take down. It's also a bit bit brutal, even for tv. You can find it on Youtube. It's entirely done in a studio, so don't expect the film series experience.

Can you imagine if that had been the film series? "My name is Bond, Jimmy Bond." It just doesn't have the same panache.

Now we're off to the races! We see a man (well, his hands) playing cards at the table, hear a Scottish burr, see him light a cigarette and say, "Bond, James Bond," and the rest is history!

Dr. No feels rather different from the later films, as the gang at Eon were still shaping their hero. Terrance Young is the real mastermind here, who turned the rough-edged Connery into the smooth Bond. They do, mostly, stick to the source material. Sylvia Trench was intended to be a regular character, whose affair with Bond is always being interrupted by mission. However, the interplay with Moneypenny was more interesting and Sylvia was let go from the firm. This one is very pulpy, with Bond essentially taking on Fu Manchu. Bond was never really about espionage. In the novels he is a knight sent to fight evil wizards and slay dragons, for Queen and Country. In the films, he's essentially a superhero sent by his government to do the same.

Jack Lord is a really odd choice for Felix Leiter, in retrospect. McGarret and Bond, working side by side.

The film is rather racist, though nowhere near as much as the book.

This was also the debut of the awesome John Barry-composed James Bond theme.

Bond is back, and so is Sylvia; but, she is going to end up unsatisfied. Instead, Bond gets called up to help a Russian fan defect, with a code machine, and the help of a Turkish contact (played by a Mexican actor), while he is also hunted by a SPECTRE agent. The film mostly follows the book, except that the motivating force behind the plot is SPECTRE, not SMERSH, as in the book. Apart from the scenes on SPECTRE Island, and the briefing by Bloefeld (face kept unseen), the film mostly follows the book. The fight between Robert Shaw's Red Grant and Sean Connery's Bond is notorious for its brutality (though not as much as Rod Taylor, in Darker than Amber). This is also the debut of Desmond Llewellyn, as Q, who gives Bond a nifty little attache case, complete with knives, coins, tear gas cannisters, and an AR-7 survival rifle, for killing people (though a .22 is not the best sniping weapon). Pedro Amendariaz is awesome as Kerim Bey, called "Darko" Kerim, in the book. Yeah, Fleming wasn't exactly the most enlightened man in the world.

The theme song is sung by Matt Monro, who was noted for his romantic songs. Many a make-out session was conducted to a Matt Monro record, in the 60s and early 70s.

Now, you may ask, what the heck does this tv series have to do with Bond, apart from cashing in on its success? Well, one important thing; Ian Fleming contributed some ideas to the creation of it. Much of what he suggested never came to fruition, but the name Solo was his. The series is a bit different than Bond, given the budget; but, also in the structure. The professional UNCLE agents would often enlist the help of an amateur in their battles with THRUSH. They had the gadgets, especially the ultra-cool UNCLE Special pistols (Walther P-38 with telescopic sight, shoulder stock, barrel extension, silencer, and extended magazine), and later got a special car (which apparently was a lemon, as it kept breaking down during filming). They also had a really cool theme song.

Gold-fingerrrrrrrrrr!

This is the film that really put Bond on the map, creating a worldwide phenomena and merchandising extravaganza. Bond takes on a grandiose villain, Auric Goldfinger, and the series most awesome henchman, Oddjob (played by professional wrestler Harold Sakata). It is also the first time that Bond would collide with the Avengers, as Cathy Gale becomes Pussy Galore (a name that you could never get away with, today). This one has everything, from the tricked-out Aston Martin DB5 to Goldfinger's laser torture device, to an attack on Fort Knox. It also has a naked woman painted in gold! Now that's filmmaking. Of course, you can't leave out the loudest theme song of all, sung by Shirley Bassey, who really belts out that last note. Shirley would return for two more songs.

This also features the most memorable scene of any of the films, as Bond is strapped to a table, with a laser beam advancing towards his crotch.

"Do expect me to talk?"

"No Mr Bond; I expect you to die!"

I bring this up as more of a sidenote. After the huge success of Bond, everyone was scrambling to make spy films. On of the properties acquired for a film series was LenDeighton's The IPCRESS File. Deighton's spy is a bit more realistic than Bond, with hours of surveillance and paperwork. The character has no name in the novel, but is called Harry Palmer. Palmer is insubordinate and a crook, one who was caught by military authorities and finds himself forced to work for Col. Ross. Palmer is an anti-Bond. he wears thick glasses, cheap suits, and a mackintosh. He has no car and carries a Colt .32 revolver. not exactly glamorous. However, he still gets the ladies, with the help of some gourmet cooking skills and good looks and a rough charm.

Now, that's all well and good, you say; but, why this one and not other Bond knockoffs/rivals? Well, the series is produced by harry Saltzman, co-producer of the early Bond films. Salztman spread his wings a bit, while Cubby Broccoli pretty much stuck with Bond. I won't go into the other films, as I have a separate list for that (Spy-fi Goodness).

Bond is back, and SPECTRE is playing out in the open. For me, this is when the films got really cool. SPECTRE is playing hardball now, hijacking a Vulcan bomber, landing it in the Caribbean, and taking it's nuclear warheads to blackmail the governments of the world. Enter Bond, who immediately spots the angle to find the bombs that his superiors missed, a hot chick! So, off to the Bahamas for lots of scuba diving, card playing, sex, and killing. Of course, things start out with Bond at a health spa; but, Bond even finds a way to liven up dieting and exercise: sex and murder!

This thing also has one of the coolest opening segments, with Bond kicking the crap out of a SPECTRE agent (in drag!!!) and a jet pack escape, with a real jet pack! Take that Aston Martin (which returns for more fun).

So many great scenes, especially the SPECTRE board meeting, complete with electrocution. You know a lot of CEOs wish that they could do the same! The set up was endlessly swiped.

Of course, since Largo is a modern pirate, he has to have an eyepatch. Suprised he didn't have a parrot sitting around on the Disco Volante.

Tom Jones does the theme, fittingly. You don't get many singers as masculine as Bond, apart from Tom Jones.

The film also marks where trouble began for the Bond franchise, in the form of Kevin McClory. More on him in a minute.

Bond is back, and so is James Bond, and James Bond. Everyone is Bond! This was a spoof of the films, with everything and the kitchen sink and way too many cooks (and chiefs). It has 5 credited and one uncredited directors, 3 credited writers, and David Niven, Peter Sellers, and Woody Allen as James Bond. The conceit is that James Bond is the name used for all British agents. It's pure 60s psychedelia, but mostly a disjointed, bizarre artifact. It has some great moments, but a lit of silly or plain stupid stuff in between.

SPECTRE, space hijackings, volcano fortresses, piranhas, ninja commandos, Little Nellie, Peter Maivia, and Bond masquerading as a Japanese fisherman; this film has everything! This one totally rocks, oozing awesomeness from every gunshot and explosion. The script is from Roald Dahl, who creates a new candyland for Bond to play in. This stuff was stolen by everyone; but, no one ever matched the sheer cinematic poetry of a ninja commando assault climax!

Bond's fight with a SPECTRE goon, played by pro wrestler Peter Maivia (grandfather of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) almost matches FRWL for brutality. Bond hits him with a couch! And Maivia shrugs it off!!! Ho, yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally, we get to see Bloefeld. It doesn't quite live up to the imagination; but, Donald Pleasance plays a great icy psychotic. "Kill Bond, Now!"

Nancy Sinatra does the theme song, a more low key affair.

By the way, those rocket guns were real, but they didn't work very well. It was found that the projectile was ineffective, if it didn't reach full velocity. In testing, they found that the projectile couldn't penetrate a sheet of cardboard, held against the muzzle. Little Nellie was also a real gyro-copter, though, sadly, without the armament.

What the heck does a movie based on a children's book have to do with Bond? Well, the book was written by Ian Fleming and the film is produced by Harry Saltzman. Fleming wrote the novel while recovering from a heart attack, at the suggestion of a friend. Fleming used to tell the friend's son bedtime stories and the father thought thet would make a great book. Fleming went to town with a story about a wondrous motor car, the invention of Caractacus Potts.

The film very loosely adapts Fleming's story, turning it into a musical that was intended to rival Mary Poppins. In that, it doesn't succeed; however, it is great, if disjointed fun. It features Goldfinger's Gert Frobe as a Bavarian king who has outlawed children and who covets the car, as he has a love for toys. Benny Hill appears as a toymaker who helps out the Potts. However, the truly memormable and nightmare-inducing character is the Child Catcher, played by Australian dancer/actor Robert Helpmann. That man can scare the pants off the toughest Marine. the first time I saw the film (on tv), and Helpmann leered into the camera, while searching for JKeremy and Jemima, I ran screaming from the room (I was about 4 or 5 years old, sue me). Even as an adult he creeps me out. he gets a bit of justice in the end; but, you are left wishing that he got a gory death, just to make sure he couldn't come back.

There are some good songs and good scenes; but, it is kind of disjointed and a bit too long.

Well, the "other guy" decided to take a powder, so enter George Lazenby. I know this is considered the low point of the series; but, It's actually one of the best films, from a story standpoint. Bloefeld is back, brainwashing a network of women to spread viruses around the globe, destroying agricultural production unless the world's government s come across with the cash, and a hereditary title! Yeah, only a British writer would come up with a supervillain who wants a noble title, when he has the world by the throat.

Lazenby is better than some would say, handling the action ery well, and actually handling some of the dramatic stuff well; not as well as Connery; but better than Moore did, in some of his films.

Leaving aside Lazenby, you have the ultra-suave Telly Savalas as a more charming Bloefeld and Diana Rigg as the only woman who can tame Bond. It would take Emma Peel, as we get the second crossing of paths between Bond and The Avengers. Next, we have some of the most awesome action scenes, with SPECTRE agents chasing bond down a ski slope, in cars, in the middle of a demolition derby, and back on skis. You get another great commando assault, from helicopters, and Bond and Bloefeld battling on bobsleds. Truly magnificent, though one wonders how much greater it could have been, with Timothy Dalton (who was considered for the role, at this time).

Theme song ("We Have All the Time in the World")done by Louis Armstrong; a nice romantic piece that sets us up for a gut punch. It's the first one, apart from Dr No (which doesn't really count) to not share the movie title

Well, Eon thought that Lazenby was a failure (maybe so); so, they brought back the "other guy." Connery demanded and got a truckload of money to come back; but, it wasn't enough to get him to exercise. Too bad this one didn't start at a health club, because Sean looks like he could use it. The toupe wasn't very good, either. The film starts out with Bond on the vengeance trail; but, it is marred by a joke when Bond is face to face with a man he really, really wants to kill!. It kind of sets the tone for things, as a lot of it is played for laughs. Still, Connery is cool and Jill St. John is a fun female lead, even if the plot is a bit wonky and the henchmen are rather bizarre (a gay duo as hitmen). Jimmy Dean gets to play a Southern-fried Howard Hughes, while Charles Gray trades in his previous sacrificial lamb role (in YOLT) for Bloefeld. He matches Savalas' charm, but without the air of menace that Telly had. Bond also conveniently seems to forget that this is the man that killed his wife. We get space based lasers, before Ronald Reagan became fixated on them. It's a mess; but, an entertaining mess.

It does have one of the greatest exchanges of the series:

"Hi, I'm Plenty!"

"Of course you are."

"Plenty O'Toole."

"Named for your father, no doubt."

Shirley Bassey returns to theme song duties.

Now, it's Roger Moore's turn at bat. Moore gained international success as Simon Templar, The Saint, in the iconic ITV series (which is where I first encountered Moore). Like Bond, Templar was cool and sophisticated and traveled the world. However, Simon tended to use his brains to get out of a situation more than his brawn. Moore was going to be a tough fit for the hard hitting Bond.

The film starts out well; but, it quickly deviates into a Blaxploitation film, with the whitest of heroes. It flip-flops between deadly serious and completely silly, covering up the disconnect with big stunt pieces. Stunts had always been a big part of Bond; but, now the became more of the focus , rather than being used to accentuate the story. This one gave is the epic boat chase and jump. It has its moments, quite a few, actually, but it gets a bit wonky, from time to time. The cast is great, though Clifton James, as Sheriff JW Pepper, is just too cartoony. He has the best line, though: "Secret Agent; on whose side?"

The whole thing is a mish-mash of voodo, stunts, paranormal abilities, Blaxploitation criminals, and general silliness. It's an etnertaining movie; but it was a big sign that Moore's Bond was not going to live in the same world as Connery's, no how much they tried.

Title song by Paul McCartney and Wings, which is suitably awesome, until Guns 'N' Roses butchered it.

Bond gets a magnetic watch, in this one, which he uses a few times. It was better than the gas pellet projectiles he uses at the end.

Dracula vs Bond! That might have been pretty good; this isn't bad, but nothing epic as that. Last time it was Blaxploitation, this time it's kung fu, as Bond has to fight some martial arts muscle, in a school.

Christopher Lee is great, and Herve Villachaize makes for an interesting twist on Oddjob, though he is never menacing. Maude Adams, is just kind of there; but Britt Ecklund makes up for her. JW Pepper is, coincidentally, back, on (convenient) vacation in Thailand. Things get about as racist as they did in the last one, though mostly because of Pepper.

There's some great scenes, like the MI-6 base, inside the half-sunken Queen Elizabeth, and some intriguing cat-and-mouse stuff; but, it leaves you a bit empty. We get another pointless stunt, with the corkscrew car jump, and a boat chase down the canals around Bangkok. It's a decent popcorn film; but continues a trend of Moore's Bond as being more lighthearted.

Title song is from Lulu, this time, and is one of my favorites, as a pure song.

Scaramanga gets the cool gadgets this time, including his Golden Gun and flying car, not to mention his solar cannon.

Bond returns, in what is essentially a mash-up of Thunderball and You Only Live Twice (mostly YOLT). Some Bloefeld wannabe has an underwater base, a submarine engulfing supertanker, and a plot to destroy the surfaace world so he can have an aquatic paradise. Hey, nobody's stopping you from living under the ocean, buddy!

It's more of the same, with the added twist of Bond working with a Russian agent, who has a personal vendetta against Bod. Of course, she conveniently forgets that. The film does deliver the best henchman since Oddjob, with Richard Kiel as Jaws. That makes up for a lot, and the action in the third act is pretty good. This is also where the Q briefing mayhem debuted, more or less, with things being tested in the lab.

The interesting thing is that the original idea here was a new generation of SPECTRE, who wipes out the old guard. Legal issues prevented that, so we got this instead, plus a submersible Lotus Esprit sportscar. That was pretty cool!

Carly Simon sings the title song, a decidedly understated one. Like OHMSS, the song title does not share the movie's, though it is referenced in the lyrics.

The end credits say For Your Eyes Only is next.

The end credits lied! For Your Eyes Only was supposed to be next, until a little movie, titled Star Wars came along. Eon looked at the books and grabbed Moonraker, since that has a spacial connection, even though the plot is about an ICBM. The film involves hijacked space shuttles (before NASA ever launched one), massive space stations somehow built and maintained secretly, and orchids that cause sterility. It also involves birds doing a doubletake, as Roger Moore drives a Venetian gondola through St. Mark's Square. At least Jaws is back.

Lois Childs makes for a rather bland love interest and even Jaws gets a girl. Michael Lonsdale is a rather understated megalomaniac.

This one is a real "Meh!"

Theme song is Shirley Bassey's third and last. It's not up to the previous two, though she handles it well.

Bond gets a wrist mounted dart gun and a pretty swanky speedboat. Drax has space shuttles and laser pistols. Bad guys win the coll gadget competition.

Well, after Bond went off the rails, it's time to go back to the source material. This film is an amalgam of the short stories "For Your Eyes Only" and "Risico." It's pretty darn good, apart from a very disco-synth soundtrack. We have to do without the Bond thing, which is a huge mistake.

Otherwise, it's a darn good, mostly serious Bond, with one negative aspect. The film opens with Bond visiting the grave of his late wife (who is name dropped in Spy, though Moore didn't play the moment very well), when he is picked up by a helicopter, which is under the control of an unnamed (but essentially Bloefeld) bald man, in a wheel chair. Bond allegedly comes in conact with the man who killed his wife and he is cracking jokes. It's kind of a send off, since Eon can't use Bloefeld or SPECTRE (explanation to follow), but not a good one and one treated as a joke, to fit Moore's style. Apart from that, the film is good and serious, though Moore is starting to show his age, especially when Lynn-Holly Johnson is coming on to him. The writers had the good sens for Bond to be put off by it, given the age difference.

Sheena Easton does the title song and becomes the first singer to appear in the opening titles, with a tease that she is topless.

The gadgets were kept fairly minimal, in this one. Sadly, Bernard Lee was gone from the series, as M. He was greatly missed.

Bond returns, and so does Maud Adams. This time, she is an international criminal, working with Russian agents, who are secretly plotting to create a nuclear incident in Germany, to spark WW3. Even the Russians don't want this.

This isn't the greatest film, but I enjoy it quite a bit. Octopussy's gang of ladies is quite fun, especially in the third act commando assault. However, it has some dumb moments, like Bond swinging on a vine, complete with Tarzan yell; and, using his Barbara Woodhouse on a tiger. The cast is good and the stunts are fun. Moore isn't looking any younger though.

Rita Coolidge does the theme tune, "All Time High," so-named because a song called Octopussy wasn't going to get airplay.

Bond gets to romp around in a Bede acrobatic mini-jet, use a tracking device (hidden in his pen) and a few other Q gadgets, including an crocodile submersible.

This film also found itself in the unique situation of being in competition with another Bond film (apart from YOLT and Casino Royale; but, that was a spoof).

This was the competition. Sean Connery stars in what is essentially a remake of Thunderball. Here's the story:

Way back in 1958, McClory was approached to turn Bond into a film. he worked with Fleming and they developed ascreenplay, called Longitude 78 West. Fleming wasn't happy with it and worked with his partner to push McClory out. Fleming then turned the screenplay ideas into Thunderball. McClory filed suit and a settlement was reached which assigned literary rights to Fleming and screen rights to McClory. McClory was a producer on Thunderball. he thenspent the next several years trying to launch a new Bond film, called Warhead and/or James Bond of the Secret Service. He finally got backing, leading to this.

The film would probably not have gotten made if Sean Connery hadn't agreed to do it. Watching it, you get the sense he did it (apart from a boatload of money) because it tends to take the mickey out of Bond. It even includes Rowan Atkinson as an official from the British embassy (or commonwealth office/High Commission, whatever it's called.)

The film is pretty much Thunderball-lite, with one notable exception: Barbara Carrera as Fatima Blush. She steals the film and would have made a great villain in the real series. If it weren't for her, this would be a complete joke, although Klaus Maria Brandauer is pretty good as Maximillian Largo. Kim Basinger is pretty, but not much else.

At least this got to have SPECTRE.

Title song is from Lanni Hall

Although Fleming was tangentially involved in the creation of UNCLE, that's not the connection here. At the beginning of the film, Napoleon Solo helps a Russian woman escape from an abuser. He is chased by the guys goons and gets assistance from a friend in an Aston Martin, with the license plate "JB". The woman remarks, "...the famous JB?" JB was played by George Lazenby, who, of all the Bonds, probably needed the work. The film reunites Solo and Kuryakin to deal with a revived THRUSH and they even get a new UNCLE Special (derived from a Heckler and Koch P-7), though you barely get to see the thing. Patrick MacNee guest stars as Sir John Raliegh, the new head of UNCLE, giving it an Avengers connection.

Roger Moore ends his tenure as Bond, looking very old and tired. We get the third Avengers connection, with John Steed himself, Patrick MacNee, though he isn't weel utilized. Tanya Roberts is probably the blandest love interest of all, with the possible exception of Lois Childs. We do get Christopher Walken as a psychotic tech baron; but, it seems a little low rent for Bond. Grace Jones provides the henchwoman; but never really gets to shine.

This was definitely Moore's low point. I'm a Connery person; but, Moore was entertaining, in a slightly cheesier way, though he did all right in the action scenes. he never seemed deadly, like Connery or Dalton; but, he carried off the sophisticated part well and was better at the goofy stuff than Connery, even though the material was cheesier. I prefer his earlier films to the latter, apart from For Your Eyes Only (his best, in my opinion).

Duran Duran provide the theme song, which was the highest charting hit of all the theme tunes. The music video inserts them into the action.

Even the gadgets are kind of tired, in this one.