Quotes

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half-empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.

"Many people feel that mass acceptance and smooth socialization are desirable life paths for a young adult... Many people are often wrong... Don't bother being nice. Being popular and well liked is not in your best interest. Let me be more clear; if you behave in a manner pleasing to most, then you are probably doing something wrong. The masses have never been arbiters of the sublime, and they often fail to recognize the truly great individual. Taking into account the public's regrettable lack of taste, it is incumbent upon you not to fit in." (From her book "Feel This Book," co-written with Ben Stiller)

After 9/11 disaster from article in Commentary magazine, November 2001: "Who would have thought that I'd be angry on behalf of my country? I'm used to being angry at my country."

The world would be better off with multiple superpowers. When Communist USSR was a superpower, the world was better off.

Our country is founded on a sham: our forefathers were slave-owning rich white guys who wanted it their way. So when I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh my God, you're insulting me.' That you can have a gay parade on Christopher Street in New York, with naked men and women on a float cheering, 'We're here, we're queer!' -- that's what makes my heart swell. Not the flag, but a gay naked man or woman burning the flag. I get choked up with pride.

You know what is good about these The Chicks burnings or bashings? It's a wonderful, wonderful way for really stupid people to hook up. They meet, they throw some things on the fire, they talk about Vin Diesel, they tell stories about who their favorite Fox anchor is, they exchange phone numbers and in some cases has led to marriages.

A lot of the hate mail I get is clearly misogynist. I am a proud liberal, feminist woman, and the hate mail I get about those three things is not about me. It's about those signifers, and about what the right in this country has managed to do to perpetuate anger over what they mean.

We're (women) our own worst enemies a lot of the time, but I still blame men.

I was a 36C or D, and at 5' 1", I knew that being a small person with big boobs standing in front of an audience was not going to be easy. It would be really hard to get people to pay attention to me without mocking me. Getting a breast reduction to prepare for my career was no different from people who work to get good grades to get into a good college to get into a good graduate school to get a good job. I went down to a B cup, and it was the best thing in the whole world.

I have no idea why that film appeals to anyone. I can't stand that film. - on The Truth About Cats & Dogs (1996).

(2001, on The MatchMaker (1997)) That was a fantastic experience on a movie that didn't turn out so well, but boy, I loved every second of living in Ireland. I lived in a town called Roundstown, population 250, a little fishing community. That was phenomenal, but the movie was bitterly disappointing. Especially since I told everyone how great it was, because I was confusing the time I'd had with the film. A bunch of friends of mine went to the screening, and I was like, "Oh shit!" It isn't horrible, but it's not particularly anything.

(2007) Dog Park (1998) was a blast. I love Bruce McCulloch. That was a case of the studio taking the cut away from the director, and it went from being a great movie to a shitty movie. Bruce's original cut that I saw was hilarious.

(2007, on filming The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle (2000)) I was only in that for two seconds, and I never saw it. I was thrilled to work opposite Carl Reiner and Robert De Niro. Mr. Reiner was very chatty and delightful, but I learned that if you want Robert De Niro to like you, don't speak at all, and he'll be friendly to you. If you're chatty and ask him dumb questions that he's been asked a million times, he'll be quiet. If you're quiet too, he'll be conversant with you. We'd done Cop Land (1997) together, and because I was quiet on both sets, I think he felt comfortable being nice to me.

(2007, on filming Mystery Men (1999)) It was very long hours and very little got accomplished. It was one of those alleged blockbusters that was overbudgeted and overhyped. It went from being a great script when it was sent to me, to being-in my opinion-a fairly mediocre non-event. But it was nice to get paid that much to sit around. I have no idea what they were trying to do (with the film), but they sure didn't accomplish it.

(2007, on Wet Hot American Summer (2001)) That was the best time I ever had doing a project, and also the drunkest. I fell down a lot, due to the wet terrain and the heavy drinking.

(2007, on The Ben Stiller Show (1992)) I remember every single thing about that, and miss that year of my life terribly, because everything was so new and exciting. The only downside was that it was such a good experience in television, and I didn't understand that most experiences in television are not like that. That show and Larry Sanders completely spoiled me. It was the opposite of baptism by fire. It was baptism by sweet, creamy chocolate. Then I went on to do other TV that fucking sucked, and I didn't understand why the environment outside of Stiller and Sanders was so shitty. Again, I don't think I help myself by pointing out how not fun most of my TV gigs were.

(2007, on Reality Bites (1994)) That was my first experience with a studio film. I didn't understand what was going to happen, or why the hours were so long. I know Ben [Stiller] was not thrilled with me there. He also didn't like my attitude during rehearsal, because I hate to rehearse. He sort of fired me, but luckily I was rehired because Winona [Ryder] stepped in on my behalf. Let's put it this way: I don't have a good work ethic. I have a real casual relationship with hours. I don't understand why, in entertainment, the hours are as long as they are. It seems like everything takes forever, and no one can tell you why exactly. You don't know where the time goes, and I find that it's not the most productive use of my time. I tend to make that clear, and people don't like that too much...(The film)is not really my cup of tea-it never was-but I live near NYU, and there are young people I meet every year who go nuts over that when they recognize me, and rave about Reality Bites (1994). I think it means a lot more to people younger than me. I was not the target audience. I was 29 playing a 21-year-old, so I don't think I understand why younger people like it.

(2007, on NewsRadio (1995)) I think I failed miserably on NewsRadio (1995). I was very nervous because of the calibre of the cast-especially Dave Foley-so I think I did a terrible job. I got it because of [creator] Paul Simms, who was one of the head writers on Larry Sanders. It's one of those things where once you're connected, you get to stay connected for a few years. Once you're not connected, you just don't get asked to do anything. I don't say that bitterly, because I'm truly grateful for the opportunities I did have, but it's strange how quick it comes and how quickly it can end sometimes.

(2007, on her career in film) I don't think Hollywood was trying to do anything with me. In fact, they lost interest pretty quick. I think I got lucky, briefly, in the '90s, and it just so happened that those movies were the opportunities that came my way. Then it just kind of stopped. You get pigeonholed if you don't look a certain way. I don't know what happened, really. I think I got older and drank too much. Then I got sober and worked at Air America for two years. Now I don't know what's gonna happen next.

I don't know that there's many people who really do know me that much anymore. I think for a brief time during the Team America: World Police (2004) era, when that movie came out, I guess I was known more for it, because they made a puppet of me and blew its head off. That's the most famous I've ever been, by the way; that I would be in the company of George Clooney's puppet. They gave me far too much credit, celebrity-wise. I was a bit flattered by that.

We can laugh at Donald Trump. But when prideful ignorance and homophobia and misogyny and xenophobia become accepted political rhetoric, that's not funny to me.

I'm a narcissist, but I have the decency to hate myself.