Dragon Storm (2004 TV Movie)
2/10
Stop, Drop, and Roll anyone?
2 July 2004
I rated it a 2 because the dragons were really not that bad. It would have been less than a 1 without CGI. I look forward to seeing some of that same dragon footage in some other low budget flick.

However, what this movie needed (besides some semblance of continuity, a script, and professional editing and direction) was some gratuitous sex and nudity. OK fine, you got to see half of one of the Princess' breasts in one scene but if you really want to be successful in the `dragons-from-outer-space-in-1190-Carpathia' genre you have to have eye candy. I know it had plenty of violence and it was `made for TV' but it's just kind of sad when you can see men being burned alive (the same men over and over in slow motion in this case) but no naked women. This movie could have easily been a 5 or 6 with some full frontal nudity and maybe even a 7 with some hot girl-on-girl action. At least it would have made the story a little more interesting if the Princess' love interest had been the girl with the catapult instead of the rather limp-wristed `huntsman' (did you see the way he held the bow?). What a waste of the budget to hire women like that and then cover them in those hideous costumes.

Also, I'm really trying to not be too critical but I would think with a little editing and sound work they could have gotten some of the actor's accents to match (with the exception of the obligatory Kung Fu Master of course).

Overall, I can't recommend this movie (it has to be at least a 3 before I will do that) but I did have a good time watching it. If you do decide to subject yourself to this movie I would recommend a sedative (like tequila) to dull the pain.
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