Review of Bodies

Bodies (2012)
1/10
A filmmaker said ""I've seen a movie once and I'll try that."
19 March 2017
Warning: Spoilers
The best way to describe this "movie" is that it's about an alien from another planet named Terry who supposedly only has had experience with the human race through watching murder mysteries. When he comes to Earth and moves into his new apartment, he immediately decides to investigate the neighbor woman because apparently that's what humans do, right? What's frustrating is the movie isn't actually about an alien. He's just a boring character portrayed by a strange actor who was directed by someone who might be an alien. At least, the director could be an alien to movies or to how human beings interact with one another. Either way, the actions of the characters are so illogical that it seems alien to anyone who has ever interacted with another person before.

Terry moves into a new apartment and immediately stalks the woman next door because he heard she was a photographer of provocative subject matter (i.e., naked girls). He is socially awkward, creepy and lacks any kind of personality. There is a scene where Terry sits next to his door in the dark, staring blankly ahead as he listens to hear if the neighbor girl is coming home. Before he meets her, Terry does research on her for no apparent reason. In his first interaction with her, he quizzes her on the most intimate details of her life without even having said hello first.

You would assume this is the crafting of an interesting villain character. Unfortunately, Terry appears to be our hero and all of this setup falls on the poor choices of the writer, actor and director. How so? When Terry plays twenty questions when first meeting his frantic neighbor, Jane, she actually replies with the most detailed and expositional responses no person would ever give to a complete stranger. We end up knowing way more about her than about Terry. In fact, Jane is actually the hero of the film, yet we follow Terry the whole time. Later on, a character actually asks what Terry has to do with anything. Not surprisingly, the audience is left asking the same question.

This movie is baffling because it seems like the filmmakers know what they're doing. It's well paced and very well edited with adequate production design, makeup and wardrobe. Sure, the camera work, lighting and sound affects appear a tad shoddy, but the directing of the actors and the writing of the script scream "amateur." Not amateur like, "I love movies and I'm going to make one on my own." It's amateur as in, "I've seen a movie once and I'll try that." What's strange is that a couple of the characters in the movie are actual movie fanatics who complain about the state of modern cinema. It's an obvious commentary from the filmmakers, which is odd considering this movie doesn't seem like it was made by anyone who actually knows anything about movies.
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